Chapter 18

"…I left Boston, because of you."

Maura had finally let out what she had been keeping inside since returning to Boston. She glanced at Jane, unsure of the response she would receive. Jane had a blank expression on her face, her gaze fixed on her hands that were resting on the table in front of her.

Neither of them was quite sure how to continue, and Maura became increasingly more nervous as the silence between them grew longer. She was determined not to start hyperventilating.

At the same time, Maura was taking deep breaths to control her breathing, Jane was thinking about what to ask next. She wasn't sure why she had asked the question she did. Maybe because it was indirect, or perhaps she already knew the answer. She and Maura didn't feel like a casual connection. It was deeper than surface level. There was something more they shared.

She finally decided she needed more information and looked back at Maura. It was clear Maura was very anxious.

"Maura," she said softly, locking eyes with her. "It's okay, whatever you will tell me, it's okay. Don't worry."

Maura and Jane gazed at each other for a few moments.

"I'm not sure where to start exactly", Maura said.

"Any way you want to tell me is fine," Jane gave her a small smile of encouragement.

Maura hesitated, unsure of how to explain the events that had broken them apart and indirectly had led to Jane's memory loss. In the end, she opted to tell the story from the beginning, everything in chronological order, as best she could recall.

"We met at BPD a few years ago," Maura started. "When I started working there as the chief medical examiner. We would work together, and over time we got to know each other."

She glanced back at Jane to make sure she was listening.

"You would always stand up for me. Defend me when others would make fun behind my back. I had no friends, but you reached out, and eventually, we became friends. You would invite me over to dinner with your family, or drinks after work. In time we grew closer, and we ended up falling in love. That's when you proposed", Maura closed her eyes and smiled, cherishing the memory. "I accepted and we started to plan our wedding."

She opened her eyes again and glanced at Jane, waiting to see if she would say anything.

"Are you upset?" Maura asked when Jane stayed silent.

"What?" Jane said, her mind had wandered off after Maura's admission. "About us?"

Maura nodded in response.

"No, I'm not upset about that. You and me, I guess deep down I knew there was something more there. I can feel it, even without my memories."

"I am concerned though, about what happened after. Why you left Boston," Jane said as more questions were coming into her head. "I also can't figure out why no one told me about you before. I asked if there was someone in my life. They all lied to me, including my own mother." She lowered her head, feeling vulnerable. "Why didn't you come back after my accident?"

Maura got up and moved closer to Jane, she lightly caressed Jane's face with her hands as she looked into her eyes" Oh Jane, I had no idea. No one told me. If I had known, I would have returned home immediately to be here with you."

"But you are back now," Jane said.

Maura gave the smallest of nods.

"Why? What happened? Why did you leave Boston, and why have you returned now?"

Maura let out a deep breath before spilling the entire story of the past few months, everything that had happened before her departure. The case with the Whistler factory, how she had gone undercover to draw out the suspect. How everything went south so fast, from Paddy Doyle to Frost to her own response. She kept talking, giving details about Jane's mindset, how Jane pushed her away, and how Maura couldn't take it any longer, so she left Boston. "The day I left is the day you had your accident,you were on your way to the airport when it happened," she said, her voice trailing off. The truth was out there now. Maura glanced at Jane, her expression unreadable.

"Jane?" Maura asked.

Jane paused for a few moments, not sure what to say. "I'm sorry, I… I can't make sense of any of this," she sighed, her hands running over her face. "I don't remember any of this, and it feels… I don't know what it feels like. I'm sorry, Maura, I will need some time to process this, okay?"

Maura smiled softly, though she was disappointed. Of course, Jane would need time to think and process it all. "Take all the time you need. I'll be here when you are ready to talk," Maura said.

Jane nodded in agreement before grabbing her keys and leaving Maura's house.

Jane drove around aimlessly for a bit, trying to calm her nerves. She then headed towards the park where she and Frankie had played earlier that afternoon. She needed to clear her head; she needed to sort through the information.

After a short while, she realized what she really needed to do though was talk to Frankie about it all. Why had he not told her about Maura, and what they had meant to each other? She also needed to talk to her ma and figure out what had happened there. Her mother had lied to her, and she didn't understand why. She felt sick to her stomach. She decided she might be better served by speaking to Frankie first, so she turned her car around and headed back toward his place.

When she got there, the lights in the house were on. Frankie opened the door quickly after she knocked on his door.

"Why didn't you tell me?", Jane said, "Maura and I were engaged. You should have told me."

Frankie was taken aback by Jane's words. He stood there silently, looking at Jane in confusion.

"I asked, and she told me," Jane clarified. "You had no right to keep that from me."

Frankie didn't know what to say, Jane was right. Even with Jane's 'rules' about not wanting to know certain things. He still should have told her about Maura. It was too important. "Ma..." he trailed off, knowing it was a cop-out.

"Ma," Jane repeated, "of course, for some reason I had figured as much. But why? Even with everything, I asked if there was someone."

"She was angry with Maura when she left, she blames her for your accident, "Frankie explained. "I guess this was her way of keeping you safe from more pain, or maybe there was a little hurt on her side. They were close too. Maura was like a daughter to her." Frankie walked further inside and sat on the couch.

Jane followed and sat next to him.

"We were all close to Maura." Frankie continued, "She was like a sister to me. She was family, and then she just left. No goodbyes, to any of us. I was angry for a long time, but I understood why she did it, and I forgave her for it. Maura, she's not like us, she's different than most people. I don't think she could handle the emotions of it all. I mean she fainted when she saw you again."

Jane took it all in. She was still angry, and frustrated, but she had some understanding of why Frankie didn't tell her. From what she experienced with her Ma, just since she woke up in the hospital, she was a force to be reckoned with. She was confused about one thing though, "so you didn't tell me, but what about pictures, or mementos, anything? There was nothing in my apartment. It's like she never existed for me."

Frankie looked away from his sister now.

"Tell me," Jane insisted.

"Ma had me go into your apartment when you were still in the hospital and destroy anything that was connected to Maura. Pictures, clothes, everything."

Jane slowly stood up and stared at Frankie. "That's just wrong", she exclaimed, "on so many levels."

"I know!", Frankie got up too and walked to his closet. He rustled through some items and then pulled out a box. "I knew it was wrong, that's why I couldn't bring myself to do it. To destroy this. So I've kept everything in here." He handed the box to Jane and then looked around as if he wasn't sure what to do next. "I think I'm going to step out. I don't want to just get up and leave, but I think you'll need a minute alone. Are you going to be okay?"

Jane waved him off, she was not okay, but she did need some time to herself. "Go, I'll be fine," she said.

When Frankie had left, Jane opened the box and found an assortment of things in it. A few pictures of Maura and herself, some of Maura and her with the rest of the Rizolli family, a note Maura wrote to her, a few cards they had exchanged, and a DVD that said 'engagement party' on it.

She put all the photos aside and picked up the DVD. She popped it into the player and waited for it to load. When it played, it showed a room full of people dancing. Everyone looked so happy, including herself and Maura.

She didn't recognize the song playing, she didn't remember it. She felt herself growing sadder when she watched herself on TV dance with Maura, how they laughed together. Looking happy and close. When the song ended and another began, Jane turned it off. Unable to watch it anymore.

How could she not remember any of this? This was her life, but now it felt like watching the life of a stranger. Just some movie on TV.

Jane wanted to grab a few beers, or perhaps something stronger, to ironically forget everything she had learned today. But she didn't, it would do her no good. Instead, she put all the items back into the box and headed home. She needed to think and sleep. Tomorrow, she would know what to do next.

AN: I'm sure it felt like this story would never be updated again. Jane and Maura's story incomplete forever. But, I finally did update it. All remaining chapters are written and completed. I will post them all in the next week, to allow for some light editing, just in case I missed something. There are two more chapters and one long epilogue. This is for everyone that messaged me over the years, asking me to finish this story. Hope you enjoy the remainder of the journey. Look for one final AN at the end of the epilogue, and if you feel so inclined let me know what you think.