Starting Over

Night had fallen on the school and a piano melody could be heard. Louis set out to play the song he had composed with Minnie to help himself feel better. Since the twins were gone, he stopped playing it and the rest stopped requesting it, but right now it brought him some comfort. After leaving AJ in his room, he needed to be alone, he needed to think, the reality is that seeing Clementine and AJ back had given him relief, but he still had a whirlwind of emotions regarding them, he knew he was angry with Marlon, he knew that just because he died didn't mean he could forgive him, but he was his fucking best friend, he didn't deserve to die the way it happened, but with Clementine and AJ it was all very confusing, he didn't know if he was angry, if he was sad. He finished the song and sighed, one thing that was clear to him was that he could not forgive himself for the danger he put them in by kicking them out of school, the image of Clementine with a boot on her neck kept haunting him and then seeing AJ in pain for a shot. He was sure that event would leave more than one mark on the boy, he frowned, maybe he could help AJ with that. He left the music room and later the admin building to head towards the dorms, he went to Tenn and Violet's room and knocked on the door.

— Come in — was heard from inside.

— Hello, buddy — Louis greeted Tenn.

— Hi, how is AJ? — asked the boy as he stopped drawing.

— Better, I left him asleep in his room, Clementine should be with him by now — he smiled.

— That's great — Tenn smiled — I'm glad they're back, I really like them — he said happily.

— Speaking of AJ, I was thinking that his clothes were pretty battered after… — he said unable to continue.

— Oh… — Tenn expressed — I think I understand.

— Yes, do you still have the clothes from when you were younger? — Louis asked crossing his arms, Tenn had already got up to go to his closet.

— Yes, I think so — Tenn started to move some boxes and opened one from where he started to take out some t-shirts and a windbreaker jacket — look, this t-shirt has Disco Broccoli on it, AJ likes it a lot — Louis took the t-shirt in his hands and he smiled, that was a detail he didn't know.

— Well, Tenn, tell me the truth — he started to speak while he folded the clothes — is it true that if you wear Disco Broccoli clothes you become an expert in disco dancing? — he asked smiling sideways.

— I don't know — said Tenn laughing.

— Bah, I thought you would have the secret to being a good dancer — he piled up the clothes and took them — anyway, I'll have to find another method, in the meantime, I'll take this to AJ.

— I hope it fits and he likes it — Tenn said walking with him to the door — I hope I can see him tomorrow.

— I bet you will, dude, thanks for the clothes — he left the room — have a good night.

— See ya — Tenn said goodbye and then closed the door. Louis walked down in the hall to get to Clementine and AJ's room, when he arrived he stopped in front of the door, he sighed and knocked on the door.

— Come in — he heard Clementine's voice and felt like his heart jumped, he put the clothes in his left hand and opened the door, and there she was, she was standing looking at AJ who was sleeping, so when she turned to look at him, he noticed what she tensed up.

— Uhm… — Louis started to say from the doorway — I brought you these — he said lifting a little the clothes in his hand — I noticed that his clothes were ruined when… You know — he walked into the room and put the clothes on the desk .

— Where did you get those? — she asked.

— They were Tenn's, back when he arrived at boarding school, should be AJ size — he still didn't dare to look at her — How's he doing?

— Much better, his fever has already gone down — Clem answered sighing with relief. — thank you for carrying him and bringing him here — she turned to look at him.

— No problem — he answered still without looking at her — so… — he crossed his arms and turned to face her — we have a greenhouse and bombs.

— Mitch's idea — Clem said with an almost imperceptible smile.

— Yes, I imagined it — Louis let out a chuckle and unconsciously approached her — Violet said we would start preparing the place in the morning — he continued feeling and talking more relaxed.

— Good — Clementine responded a little shyly, Louis realized this, and frowned a little, and scolded himself, because it was not possible to expect her to receive him otherwise.

— They all seem okay with letting you stay — he said without thinking, Clem turned to look at him with interest — for now — he continued, he was supposed to be angry, he had to remember that he was angry — at least until the fight — the girl didn't answer — I don't know if it's forever... Or if it should be — Louis shut up, just shut up, Clem just averted her gaze.

— Everyone else is okay with us staying — she started to say still looking away from him — What about you?

— It's fine — he said and that was true, a great truth — while AJ gets better — he added and then internally beat himself, if Violet were here she would say it. Was it necessary to be such an asshole?

— And after that? — Clem asked as if she was expected a different answer, and he wanted to give her a different answer but…

— I don't know, Clementine — he answered a little hostile, even he was surprised to use her full name, she looked at the floor with dissatisfaction, he looked away feeling like the worst worm on the face of the earth.

— Clem? — they heard, AJ had woken up.

— Hi, kiddo — Clementine crouched down next to the bed to greet him — how do you feel?

— Better... Although it still hurts — the boy answered.

— I know — Clementine answered sympathetically.

— Hi, Louis — AJ greeted him, Louis tensed up.

— Hey, little dude — he greeted him back.

— I missed you — said the boy — are we friends again?

— Ah… — Louis didn't know what to answer, he looked at Clementine looking for help, but she had already lowered her eyes uncomfortably — just get some sleep, okay? — he said trying to sound friendly, he sighed and turned around, he started walking to the door, annoyed with himself.

— Louis? — Clem called him before reached the door, he stopped and turned his head slightly, letting her know that he was listening — I really missed you — she said, at that moment he didn't know whether to run to hug her or run to his room.

— I missed you too — he answered without looking at her — Good night — he left the room closing the door behind him. He stood in the hallway leaning on the door, he felt like crap, even with his rudeness, even with all his bad attitude, she had missed him, and that made him feel worse, although it also gave him a some comfort and he had to admit, made him kind of happy, because damn, how he had missed her too.

— I'm not mad with Louis anymore — he heard AJ inside the room — he carried me and was with me when Ruby gave me that thing to cure… Medicine — Louis stuck his ear to the door — And you?

— AJ, I was never angry with him — the girl answered, Louis had to cover his mouth because he felt he could scream from tje emotion — I understood why he behaved like that, because he wanted us to leave — he listened, at the end he was wrong, Clementine never treated the subject coldly, she was just giving him his space.

Louis moved away from the door and went straight to his room, as he entered he took a deep breath of air and let it out slowly through his nose, he had to calm down, there was no point in keeping that hostile attitude with them, they hadn't been to blame for anything, Marlon was the only one to blame. He arched an eyebrow, he had to start again, he was willing to welcome them back and make them feel comfortable, and eventually, apologize to them. Yes, that was what he had to do. He yawned, the exhaustion of the previous two sleepless nights was taking its toll, he took off his coat and threw it carelessly on the table, he lay back on his bed and his mind continued to wander, he thought about Clementine, knowing that she had missed him had moved something, and why was he fooling himself? He liked her, and that made it impossible to try to act indifferent or even hostile, besides she didn't deserve it, probably after all this he had lost any chance with her, but maybe they could still be friends, without stopping thinking about this, his eyes began to close until he fell asleep.

— All right! Everybody up! — was heard from the hallway, Louis, who was sleeping on his stomach with one arm under his pillow, grunted with annoyance and stuck his head under the pillow — wake up, everyone! There's work to do! — he heard again, it was Violet, he removed the pillow from his head and threw it at the wall with annoyance, he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his eyes trying to assimilate why they had been woken up like that, it made him a little bit cranky.

— Violet — he heard Clementine's voice — good morning — Louis remembered the previous night, he hit his face to wake up, he got up and took his coat to put it on, he looked at himself in the old mirror of his room, today more than ever he had to look good, he arranged his hair a little and looked to see if he didn't have any signs of acne, he checked that everything was all right and put his hand on his chin.

— You look great, man, at least you're not ugly — he said in front of his reflection winking an eye, he went to the door to leave the room and there were Violet and Clementine waiting for the rest — good morning, mates — Violet arched an eyebrow, Clementine looked tense — you know? — he turned to Violet — I think you should get a rooster — both girls frowned — you weren't outrageous enough — he finished smiling sideways.

— Fuck off — Violet responded.

— That's the earliest you've sent me away — Louis said, Violet rolled her eyes — Where I come from, you say good morning before telling someone to go to hell.

— I didn't send you to hell, I said fuck off — replied Violet with her arms crossed, Louis could notice that Clementine was starting to smile — and yes, anyway, good morning.

— Good morning — Clem greeted him shyly, at that moment Assim, Mitch and Willy came out of their rooms.

— Good morning, lazybones — said Violet, they were still yawning, and when they stopped, they were surprised to see Louis already up.

— Impossible — said Aasim — this guy got up before me?

— Forget work — said Mitch with his arms crossed and smiling — let's have a party, you don't see this every day — Louis rolled his eyes in annoyance, that's when Tenn, Ruby and Omar came out of their rooms, less lazy than the others guys.

— All right, we're all here — Violet said.

— Isn't AJ coming? — Tenn asked Clementine.

— I let him sleep a little longer — she replied, — maybe he'll come out later to catch up with us.

— Yes, remember that AJ is hurt — said Violet — besides he is the youngest, we will find something for him to do, in the meantime, let's go out so we can give you instructions.

— Violet — Ruby called her — is there any chance I could work in the greenhouse? I found several seeds, we could harvest food — she continued smiling, Violet smiled too.

— Yes, that's a good idea — she answered — I don't have any problem, do the others agree? — the rest nodded — good, you work in the greenhouse, Ruby, the rest, follow me — they all started to walk behind Violet, Louis saw his chance.

—Clementine? — he called out to her, making her stop and turn to look at him.

— Yes? — she answered a little tense.

— I… — he scratched the back of his neck, all the determination he had for having speaking to her vanished — I'm sorry for my bad attitude these days — he said seriously — I was thinking that if you were back, we could start over.

— Start over? — Clementine asked with a confused frown.

— Yes, you know — he extended his hand — I'm Louis — Clementine looked from his hand to his face several times — or would you rather we go to the music room and I sing you "My Darling Clementine" again? — he asked smiling sideways, she first arched her eyebrows in surprise, and then smiled and shook his hand, Louis noticed that her hands were very small compared to his.

— Maybe another time — she answered with a giggle.

— I thought my singing had bewitched you — he said placing his left hand on his chest while smiling and leaning towards her, Louis was happy and there was no point in hiding it.

— I don't think we'll ever know — said Clementine, she looked relaxed like that day in their batting session, and it was an image that Louis didn't want to lose again.

— Hey — they heard from the hallway leading to the front door, it was Willy — Violet says she's waiting for you.

— Oh, we're coming — answered Clementine, Willy came out of the building, they turned to look at each other and smiled, Louis felt that electric current on his back — we should go with the rest — she told him.

— After you, miss — he said at last releasing her hand and making an exaggerated bow, Clem just smiled rolling her eyes with sympathy, they started walking together and left the dorms building. On their way out, they saw everyone in the center of the courtyard, Violet looked at them seriously.

— Well, you're here — the blonde put her hands on her waist — well, Clem, where should we start? — Clementine took a few steps forward and observed the place, she checked the barricade they had placed at the main entrance, she observed the courtyard, everyone looked expectantly.

— Okay, I told Violet that you have always had a fortress, just look at this place — Clementine told them, Louis saw the school with a new perspective, the walls had kept them safe all this time and being in the middle of the forest had kept undesirables visitors away — we just have to improve that defense. First — she went to the porch of the admin building and took a roll of barbed wire and threw it to the center of the group — the fence is effective against walkers, but not against live invaders — she crossed her arms — many groups are prepared for these things, they would easily climb that fence, especially because of the cracks and fissures it has.

— Have you seen those groups? — asked Mitch in a hostile manner.

— I belonged to some in the past — Louis noticed that she was lost in her memories again — but I know that in general many of them are armed and have created a small military force — she stood in front of Mitch — and I have seen armed confrontations between them, there is only blood and death... think if you want to face them — Louis noticed that Mitch looked away fearfully — next point, do you see the tallest trees? — she pointed over the fence, everyone looked, Louis had never noticed how tall they were — once we have improved the defense of the fence, if someone decides to attack, they will use the trees to have a good shooting range — Louis swallowed saliva — and as you can see… The whole yard is too exposed, we are an easy targets.

— I had never thought about that — admitted Louis scratching the back of his neck, all the others looked down in embarrassment.

— It's normal, fortunately for you, you haven't had a threat until now — Clementine crossed her arms and gave them a sympathetic smile — anyway, we must prepare ourselves, put obstacles in the courtyard so they won't see us so easily from a distance and if they manage to get in, not to be caught at the first opportunity — she walked towards the entrance gate — this entrance is too exposed.

— What do you mean? — asked Violet, she looked at Louis fearfully and he looked back at her.

— The only thing that separates us from the world are these bars, anyone could stand a few meters away and watch our movements — Clementine told them quite calmly — we must cover the view, with the watchtower we can see out but they won't see in — she smiled at them with determination — I think we should start with the fence and the entrance.

— Okay — said Violet — we'll take turns placing the wire on the fence since it's the most difficult — she crossed her arms — Mitch, Willy — they both paid attention — you guys will start, you make a good team and I know you'll leave a good pattern for us to follow .

— Okay — said Mitch and took the roll to walk away with the boy.

— Who had the hunting shift today? —Violet asked.

— Brody and Mitch — said Aasim lowering his eyes — I was supposed to go check the river traps.

— Okay — Violet said and sighed — Aasim, Omar, you will go hunting — both boys nodded — Tenn — the boy stepped forward — you will go with me to the river, Louis — the young man crossed his arms — search wood, metal sheets, whatever to cover the fence and start working — he shrugged his shoulders — Clem, can you watch them while I'm gone?

— Okay — she replied, Violet smiled at her.

— They'll listen to you, they know you can kick their ass — she said starting to walk with Tenn behind her.

— Yeah, sure — replied Clementine sarcastically crossing her arms, Louis looked at her for a moment before looking around.

— Well, now that we have a greenhouse, I'll take a look and see if I can find something useful — said Louis putting his hands on his hips.

— I can help you... If you want — Clementine offered shyly, Louis looked at her seriously and then smiled sideways.

— Sure, I accept the help — the girl smiled too — let's go — they started walking together to the greenhouse — and how did you get experience in these things? — he asked curiously, she sighed.

— A few years ago I was alone — Clem started to say — and I would go in and out of a community, I didn't stay in one place, you know… I would only go in for something that was absolutely necessary, provisions, supplies… — she guided him to the back from the greenhouse where there was a pile of junk — they all had things in common, huge walls, protected fences, reinforced doors, places to take cover — she lifted a piece of wood and saw it frowning before throwing it away.

— Anything in particular? — Louis asked

— Well… A few years ago I was in a community called Richmond, it seemed like a good place, but another community had taken control — she found a large metal sheet that she couldn't lift, Louis let out a chuckle and went to help her — I think this one might work — Louis leaned it on the greenhouse wall — and there started to be conflicts, wich led to a shootout and a horde of walkers.

— Wow… Were you there when all that happened? — he asked in amazement, holding up some wooden planks that might work.

— Yes… — she said a bit annoyed — things didn't go so well, but we managed to defend ourselves.

— You impress me, I can clearly see you taking out some walkers with a machine gun — Louis smiled sideways looking at her, she looked away.

— Not with a machine gun, but yes, I can take out a few walkers — Clem said smiling — and that would certainly help us now, wouldn't it? — she continued shrugging her shoulders, found another metal sheet — this one looks perfect — she said taking it out of all things.

— I think this will be enough to cover the gate — said Louis with his hands on his hips.

— Yes, I think so — Clem found a small roll of wire — and with this we can put it together, come on, let's work — she said, taking two metal sheets and putting them under her arm, Louis took the wooden planks and a metal sheet and did the same.

— Are you sure you can handle that? — asked Louis walking next to her, she looked at him arching an eyebrow — they seem to be bigger than you — he smiled sideways, Clementine let out a giggle and slapped him on the arm.

— Stop it, I'm not that short — she answered smiling.

— I think someone is talking to me — said Louis looking around, pretending not to see her, Clementine laughed again.

Louis smiled as he looked at her, he knew he had made mistakes, and it would possibly be difficult to make amends, but for the moment that was all he needed. Clem didn't seem reluctant to talk to him and neither did she see reluctant for them to work together, he could tell she was having a great time, it was enough to see that genuine smile she had shown him in their interactions. And that was good, he knew that he should be more proactive for everyone, and that was easier said than done, but having her by his side motivated him and provoked him to do more things if he had her company. How likely was it that Violet wouls assign them shifts together? Very unlikely, more so after his previous rudeness, but he would try to talk to her to let her know that he had no problems working with the girl, none in fact. They reached the gate and set all the stuff down, Clem put her hands on her waist and looked up at him smiling, he smiled back.

—Clem! — AJ came running towards them.

—Hi, goofball, how you doing? — Clem crossed her arms, looking at him with a motherly smile.

— Much better — the boy answered — Hi, Louis.

— Hi, little dude — Louis crouched down in front of him — what a scare you gave me yesterday.

—Are we friends again? — he asked again smiling.

— Yes, we're friends again — he replied holding out his hand, AJ looked at it but ignored it and jumped in to hug him, Louis took a moment before reciprocating. How long had it been since he had felt this loved by someone? He looked at Clementine and she looked just as surprised.

— I'm sorry… — she whispered to him a little worried, he smiled and shook his head, for him this was quite good, AJ let him go and looked at him smiling, Louis smiled back and sat up.

— What are you going to do with these? — AJ asked looking at the metal sheets and wood on the floor.

— We will cover the gate, so no one can see anything from the outside — Clementine answered with her arms crossed.

— Can I help? — asked AJ.

— Well… — Clem started to speak.

— Sure, you can supervise — said Louis putting his hands on his hips, Clementine looked at him and AJ smiled.

— Are you sure? — she asked fearfully.

— Don't worry, I won't let him make any effort — he replied smiling sideways, she thanked him with her eyes.

— I'll go see Mitch and Willy, will you be okay? — She asked a little aprehensive.

— Sure, the "Team fun" will have a new session today — Louis smiled sideways and looked at AJ to bump their fists, Clementine smiled and started walking.

— I'm glad to be back — the boy said smiling, Louis smiled and ran his hand over AJ's afro.

— I'm glad you're back too — he looked at Clem walking away and then looked back at AJ, they were safe and secure, and now he wasn't ask for anything else, just that they wouldn't leave his side.