BPOV
"Actually..." I said, "I think this date is not really a good idea..."
"Bella, please..." He said with frustration.
"No, I mean... This is certainly going to create issues... I mean, I was involved with your brother even if that was the big fucking mistake of my life!" I said.
Why had I ever agreed to date Masen? We were never going to make it work!
He stared at me for some time... Maybe he wanted to say something...
"Look... I've really come to like you, and I know you have had feelings for me... Maybe they have been much stronger than I could ever understand..." I said, "But I'm trying to think from the logical perspective, and I think it makes sense that we don't even start this? I mean, there is a high possibility of this failing..."
Again, he just stared at me... Or maybe glared at me.
"Are you going to say something?" I said.
"I don't know..." he said as he roamed his hand in his hair, "You seem to have covered everything."
He looked... mad?
"Look, I don't know what's going on in your mind right now, but this seems to be the right thing to do?" I said, "I mean, what is the point of starting something and then later getting hurt?"
Right?
I mean, I just liked him, and it hurt so much when I thought he was back with Tanya... What if my feelings turned into something much stronger?
And the same goes for him... He seemed to have liked me... But maybe it's something like just a 'crush'?
But what if we seriously fell for each other and then we realized that it was not working because we had a lot of mess to deal with?
"Okay..." He said.
"Look, I just don't want us to get hurt because of any mess, that's it... That's why this feels like the right thing to do..." I said.
"Okay..." He said.
"Yeah..." I said and then we continued to have dinner in silence.
That was the right thing to do, right?
I guess so?
I mean, what's the point of starting something with so many doubts?
"What if I say that I'll try my best to make sure you don't get hurt?" He asked.