Wednesday, July 8, 2009, 6:41AM
Iwatodai Dorms, 2nd floor
For the first time in weeks, Makoto smacked his alarm clock quiet. He stood up and, aside from a bit of dizziness, felt fine. His muscles ached, and it required herculean effort to keep his eyes open, but the wounds he had sustained from last night were gone.
As he stumbled over to his sink and washed his face, he could feel Bragi's presence behind him. If Orpheus' presence was a warm, gentle flame that flickered in night, then his was a bonfire. Makoto cracked his neck and stretched, yawning loudly.
Makoto looked down at his wound, or rather the scar where his wound was. Just a few centimeters down and to the right of his bellybutton was a tiny white blemish, no taller than his pinkie finger.
Only a few hours ago he was bleeding to death after being impaled by Justice's sword. Now the only evidence left was this easily hidden little blemish. Makoto stared at his own reflection as the rain outside of his dorm room began to pour harder and harder.
Makoto sighed. "It's gonna be one of those days, isn't it?" He asked out loud. Bragi chuckled with his deep, baritone voice before disappearing.
As Makoto dressed and quietly left his room, he noticed how eerily quiet things were on his floor. Every one of them, except maybe Fuuka, were injured last night. His stomach turned as remembered just how bad Shinjiro looked last night. And that was after Yukari had patched him up.
Why can't these stupid fights happen on Saturday night? He thought as walked up the stairs, nearly bumping into one Mitsuru Kirijo.
"Oh." Kirijo froze on the step above him. "Yuki."
"Senpai." Makoto responded placidly. "I just wanted to make sure Kotone was coming to class today."
"I..." she looked away, "was going to go do the opposite for Akihiko and Shinjiro."
"I see."
As they walked around each other, she called out to him. "Would you mind waiting for me downstairs when you're finished?"
He hesitated, but silently nodded to her. She nodded back and continued down the stairs.
Once he arrived at Kotone's door, Makoto took a deep breath. He prepared himself, he lifted his hand, and just as he was about to knock, the door opened, smacking right into his knuckles. "Ah!"
Kotone stopped dead in her tracks and peaked her head out. "Oh, Makoto. Hey."
"Hey." Makoto said lamely as he stepped back and blew on his knuckles. "You're up."
She stepped out and closed the door the behind her. "So are you." She said quickly, and more than a little defensively. Even with her make-up carefully applied, he could see the heavy bags under her eyes. As well as the tired, morose look of her eyes themselves.
"I," he looked away, "just wanted to make sure you were okay to go to school today."
Kotone looked down. "I'm fine." She mumbled out. "I won't ditch again. Promise."
They stayed silent for several seconds, neither moving or saying anything. The sound of Yukari's alarm going off, followed by her loudly yelling and throwing it a wall, caused them to both to flinch.
"Jeez. Looks like Yukari's got some fire in her belly, huh?" Kotone said with a small grin.
Makoto chuckled. "Yeah."
"I'll go, I promise." She repeated, a bit more confidently. "I just...I just kind of need to swing by the shrine before we go." Her eyes became very glassy and distant. "I made sure to put Koro-chan somewhere where people would find him, and where the rain wouldn't make him cold."
"Alright." He said softly.
"I can't imagine how badly the bridge and the shrine look right now." The rain fell heavy and quick on their umbrellas as they walked the streets of Iwatodai. "Blown up, burned down, and not washed away."
Kirijo sighed. "I have to imagine it is an absolute mess over there. Thank goodness there weren't too many people present last night." She shook her head. "As bad as it was, it could have been a far bigger disaster."
"Yeah." He said quietly. "How are Shinjiro and Sanada doing?"
"Better?" She said, in a tone he couldn't tell if she was saying it or asking it. "I thought I would have to convince them to rest for the day. They were...oddly pliant."
As she drifted back into thoughtful silence, Makoto inspected her. She was a beautiful woman, he felt pretty confident he could say that in an objective manner. It wasn't just her looks, but her manner, her attitude, and her way of carrying herself. The air of sophistication around her. This simple confidence that was expressed in the way she spoke to others, the way she acted around her peers, even the way she walked.
Right now she had none of that. Her constantly blinking eyes were baggy. The make-up on her face couldn't hide the fact she was sweating profusely, on such a cold and wet day like this. Even the way she walked, with slow, meandering steps rather than a proud stride, undermined whatever brave front she was trying to project.
At this point, Makoto was more willing to believe they acquiesced to her request just as much out of whatever exhaustion they felt as out of concern for how their dauntless leader would react.
"How is your stab wound?" She belatedly asked. "Are you certain you are feeling well enough to go to school?"
"I can barely feel even feel it." Makoto said as he looked at her bandaged arm. "Your arm?"
"Same. If anyone asks about this," Mitsuru said with a rue smile, "I will attribute it to a fencing accident. It is as expedient of an excuse as I could hope." She said with a tinge of bitterness.
"It sucks having to lie to people." Makoto said.
She chuckled, before settling into a frown. "It does. Unfortunately the nature of our work sometimes requires us to be rather...loose with the truth. If not outright deceitful."
"Yeah," Makoto said quietly.
"Thank you again." He turned to her. "Your Persona's healing powers now outstrips even mine. I would wager that," she paused, "Bragi correct?" He nodded. "Bragi is closer to Io in that regard."
"Yeah." Makoto repeated. "I can definitely feel that his power is much more potent than Orpheus ever was."
"I must admit, I was, and am, still surprised. To be able to awaken another Persona like that." She said, voice down a pitch.
"I wouldn't call it awakening, more like...mutating? Evolving?" He scratched the back of his head with his one free hand. "Something like that. As I changed, so did he."
"Our Personas grow and evolve we do. For Orpheus to change so drastically, you must have changed as well." She said carefully, as their eyes met. The implication was clear.
Makoto sighed. "Do you ever find it easier to pick up your sword and fight, compared to talking with people?" After a few seconds, she was the first to break eye contact. "I'm the same way," he said with a grin, "Orpheus, Bragi, whatever you call him, he's me. The more honest I am with myself and others, the more I am closer to him."
"I see." She said quietly. "That's..."
"There's a lot I've been meaning to ask you, me and Yukari both."
She cringed. "I see." Her voice was dry. "I...I want you to know I have never set out to deceive you or withhold information from you, but..."
"You've never felt the need to bring some things up if we didn't ask?"
"...yes." She muttered.
"I won't pressure you about it now, but I would like for you to be a bit more forthcoming about some things with us." He said plainly. "We are putting our lives on the line alongside you, you know."
"Of course I know that!" Kirijo screamed. He flinched back. "Every day of my life I have to wrestle with that fact! Every night I go to Tartarus with any of you I ha-" She stopped herself. "I-" she looked away, face awash in guilt. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to-" She bit her lip and marched ahead of him, not even once looking back.
"Sup bro, you look like shit." Kenji said as he sat down on his desk.
Makoto narrowed his eyes. "Thanks Kenji, I really needed that."
He laughed and slapped him on the shoulder. "Let's go out and eat." Kenji said. "You pick the location, and I'll pay."
Makoto raised a tired eyebrow. "Where's all this generosity coming from?"
The brown-haired boy combed his hands through his hair. "It's just uh, well I've just been doing a lot of thinking, and want to talk about some stuff. Some of it's 'bout Emi." He said with a tinge of sadness.
"Alright." Makoto shifted in his seat. "You know what, I'm in the mood for ramen."
Kenji grinned. "Hell yeah."
Junpei whistled as he approached the Naganaki Shrine. Some eighteen hours later, even with all of the police presence keeping him and a handful of other onlookers from getting too close, it was easy to see the extent of the damage. Yukari and Kotone had explained in passing just how badly the area was destroyed, but actually seeing it...
"Geez." Junpei mumbled.
"Crazy, right?" He turned around and saw Shinjiro slowly walk up to him, lazily holding up an umbrella at an angle.
His eyes went wide. "Senpai?"
Shinjiro stood shoulder to shoulder with him as they watched both a small crowd gathering around the police barricade.
"Should you...be walking around?" Junpei asked carefully. "Yukari told me you took some major damage last night."
Shinjiro snorted and punched him in the shoulder, too lightly to do any real damage. "I'm fine. Takeba's healing got me back on my feet. How about you?" Shinji asked him.
"Same." Junpei rubbed his forehead. "Last night was hell, eh?" Junpei asked, sounding a bit more tired than he wanted.
The older boy nodded. "You know, I only ever joined SEES because Aki was in it. I didn't even know what the hell Shadows or Personas were at first, I just thought Mitsuru was some obnoxious rich girl taking advantage of him. I was more concerned she was going to wrap him around her pretty little finger than anything else. I couldn't have imagined that this was what they were doing at the time." He chuckled. "And honestly, I didn't really care much for all this saving the world stuff, but I could fight well enough, and I kept them both safe, so I did."
Junpei stared quietly as Shinjiro spoke.
"I...wouldn't blame you or any of the other juniors if last night was your breaking point." He said, looking away. "Just because you have this power, it doesn't mean you're obligated to stay with us. The Shadows, they've only gotten more monstrous and more powerful since I started. I don't want your blood on my hands. If you want to leav-"
"Nah. I'm good." Junpei said, a grin on his face.
Shinjiro turned to him, eyes wide open in disbelief.
"I-" the smile Junpei's face faltered, and then dispersed entirely, "I was ready to die last night. If I'm being honest, I was more sad than scared. Not just sad I was gonna die, just sad there was so much stuff I wasn't gonna be able to do, sad I couldn't fight alongside you guys anymore, and sad that you guys were probably next on the chopping block."
Junpei's umbrella shook as his hands did.
"I, I was just glad to meet you guys, to fight, to do this stuff together. I didn't really think much about dying before last night, because I figured, you know, I could always find a way out. And I did, or rather Makoto did for me, but next time," he sighed, "next time might be it. Next time, it might be three strikes and I'm out for good."
"...yeah, it can happen." Shinjiro said. "Any night we go out to fight."
"It can happen fighting a Shadow, or choking on food, or getting shived by someone wanting my wallet walking home." Junpei shook his head. "I joined because I thought it was awesome fighting Shadows, like being a real life superhero. I did it for my own sake, and I'm still doing it for my sake, but now," his eyes stared directly at the remnants of the shrine, "I'm also fighting for you guys, for the people I know, and they know, and for these people I've never met and never will meet."
Junpei paused, trying to find the words. He felt Shinjiro's hand on his shoulder, a rare smile on the older boy's face. Junpei nodded and smiled back.
"I...don't know most of these guys." Junpei said. "The people that go to the shrine, the people that commute to and from the island on the bridge, but I know they got friends, they got family. They got...a reason to live." Junpei stood a little straighter. "They can't fight against the Shadows. I can. We can. Maybe that's why I'm alive. Maybe that's my reason for living. I ain't quitting, not after coming this far."
"You got a lot more going inside that head of yours than you let on, don't you Iori?" Shinjiro asked.
He chuckled. "You know what I'm really scared of though?" Shinjiro raised an eyebrow. "After all this stuff with Tartarus is done, like if we get the top of the tower and stop the Dark Hour for good...what's next? Like, what'll be my reason for living then, you know?"
"If I'm being honest with you Iori, I've had the same question on my mind for a while." He shook his head. "I still don't have an answer. I just live life one step at a time."
"Huh." Junpei scratched his head. "I always just assumed you had things more squared away than me."
Shinjiro let out a hoarse laugh. "Don't go putting me or the others on a pedestal, I'm not any more smart or dignified than anyone else."
Junpei quietly nodded.
Haragakure was always good, but something about having it after a long, grueling day of school, and especially after an exhausting night fighting, made it taste that much better. Makoto could feel each individual aspect of the meal, the broth, the noodles, the vegetables, the salt, everything.
After finishing, he burped, much louder than he had expected. "Whoops." He brought his hand over his mouth.
Kenji snickered. "Have you been fasting or something?" He asked between bites. "You frickin' devoured that thing."
"Guess I was hungrier than I realized..." As he rubbed his stomach, Makoto briefly wondered if it would be a faux-pas to as for seconds.
"Get as much as you want, it's on me."
Makoto shrugged. "Well, if you insist."
Kenji snorted.
"One second thought, I should probably watch my diet."
Kenji rolled his eyes. "You know...Ms. Kanou announced she was getting married today." Kenji said quietly.
Makoto turned to him, seeing his forlorn expression.
"It spread all over the school. I...well I popped by after school ended to tell her congrats, and thanks for all the tutoring." He could see the tears welling on Kenji's eyes. "She uh, she looked so happy. She started talking about him, and he cool he was, and all this stuff about him. I-I think she really loves this dude."
Makoto put his hand on Kenji's shoulder. "I'm sorry."
The other boy wiped his eyes and shook his head. "Nah man, it's good. Looking back on it, I...I wasn't as sad as I thought I'd be. I think I was just, I dunno what you'd call it." He rubbed his neck. "I really loved the idea of being with her, just being married, and being an adult, and all that. But when she was talking about her fiance, I uh, I realized I didn't know the first thing about her."
Makoto tilted his head.
"I don't know what's her favorite TV show, or food, or flower, I don't know what she likes to do for fun, or which of her co-workers she likes and dislikes, or even if she likes ramen or not." He shook his head. "I think I was in love with the idea of Emi and not, like, the real Emiri Kanou, you know?"
"I think I do."
He slouched in his seat. "I don't think I'm up to this kind of thinking. I'm not that smart, it just makes me tired, confused, and sad."
Makoto chuckled and patted him on the back. "Don't count yourself out. You've put more thought into it than a lot of other people would."
"I might not know a lot of stuff about romance, but I do know one thing." Kenji grinned. "You're my friend, and I'm glad you are."
Makoto smiled. "Same here."
"Here." Kenji reached into his pocket and gave him something. A small, black, seemingly hand-made, choker. "I made it myself. I thought it'd look good on you."
Makoto gingerly took it.
"You do kind of lack fashion sense." Makoto narrowed his eyes at him, and the other boy just laughed. "I'm just being honest dude. It's what best friends are for, right?" He asked cheekily.
"Well," Makoto said sharply, "since we're making confessions, I'm sorry for not say anything, about the thing with Ms. Kanou. I...kind of knew immediately that it would be a disaster, and you were going to have your heart broken, but I didn't have the guts to tell you otherwise."
Kenji shrugged. "I was gonna do it one way or the other. Nothing you or anything else would have said was gonna stop me. I'm still sad things happened the way that they did, but it was definitely something that could have gone a lot worse." He smiled. "Thanks for going with me, man, I'd probably have felt a hell of a lot worse if I was alone."
Makoto nodded. "Of course. Hopefully next time I play wingman things will work a lot better."
He clapped his hands together. "Puh-lease. Hey, uh," he looked away, red-faced, "thanks for listening to me ramble about stuff."
"Anytime."
He smiled. "I just want to let you know, I might not be the best at it, but I'm here for you if you ever got something you need to get off your chest."
Makoto smiled. "Thank you."
Persona Compendium:
Bragi: The skaldic god of poetry and husband to Idun. Known for his wisdom and eloquence. Some believe him to be a son of Odin, while others theorize he is actually a deified Bragi Boddason.