Chapter Nine: Courtship Part One
Auhtor's Note: I find it helps when writing Whistledown columns, to pretend I'm writing a script for Julie Andrews, so I do recommend reading those sections in Julie Andrews' voice in your head. Immersive, no?
Excerpt from Lady Whistledown's Society Papers
Saturday 4th June, 1814
Can you feel it? Summer is indeed in the air. But while the gentlemen and ladies of the ton flock to the sweet shops to cool down with some ice cream, there is nothing that can quench the heat of truly scorching hot gossip.
Attendees of the Countess of Macclesfield's Summer Heat ball on Thursday were shocked to see Queen Charlotte make an unexpected arrival, and a hastier departure. Meanwhile, Lady Eaton was overheard professing herself to be blinded by the overload of yellow in the room (To that, this author wishes to express the opinion that the bright shade suits absolutely nobody. The unfortunate Miss Penelope Featherington, least of all).
But this is not what draws my attention. We have all witnessed the courtship of the Queen's diamond, Miss Edwina Sharma by Lord Anthony Bridgerton. Anyone with their bets placed on the pair's betrothal taking place that evening however, will surely now be bewailing their losses. It seems they were not the only ones to take a gamble.
They say a lady never reveals her age, and so too, a writer never reveals her sources. A betrothal did in fact take place at the Summer Heat ball. The Sharmas and the Bridgertons are to be congratulated…for the joyous upcoming union of Anthony, Lord Bridgerton, and Miss Kathani Sharma.
Pausing for all of you to pick yourselves up off the floor… might I suggest fanning oneself to cool down?
The circumstances of this unexpected union are frustratingly murky, but this Author understands that the families are a united front, and that the happy bride-to-be and bridegroom have found a love match in each other. No further comment seems likely to be made publicly, although one imagines the Dowager Viscountess Violet Bridgerton to be overjoyed.
My felicitations to the couple – it may be an unexpected surprise to us, but it seems likely a happy one, and two more well matched persons this Author finds hard to imagine.
And as for the Diamond? One would suggest that her sister's marriage into one of the most well-known and highly respected families of the ton will do little to dim her sparkle, even if it's in different circumstances than she imagined. If the Queen is put out with how her selection of the season turned out; why, try and try again, Your Majesty. There is always next season. A roll of the dice never hurt anyone…
SATURDAY
One of the more eventful weeks of Penelope's life began quite auspiciously, which was really rather deceptive of it.
She near snatched the copy of Lady Whistledown out of Prudence's hands, but only once Prudence was done reading it ("I am the eldest and you have to wait your turn, Penelope,"), and she took her prize to her favourite window seat in the nook looking out onto Grosvenor Square. This was her first taste of the anticipation everyone else must surely feel waiting for a new edition of the column, and it sat oddly for her.
She'd gotten used to feigning surprise at reading the words of Lady Whistledown. Usually reading it was an exercise in acting out the appropriate and expected response: shock, outrage, titillation. When she read her own work back, she was mentally correcting any small errors or turns of phrase she wished she could re-write, or, cheering herself for any passages that she was particularly proud of. But today's column, while still hers, was in part also attributed to another author, and its final form and wording was a mystery to her.
She read the column quickly, her eyes scanning back and forth rapidly as though she could near devour the words if she could. She barely paid heed to the snide remark from Philippa, so engrossed was she. ("You were mentioned again, Penelope? I suppose it is fair, that dress did look particularly hideous on you.")
When she was finished, she lowered the paper, staring out the window across Grosvenor Square, but her mind was down in the side garden yesterday, hand-clasped with Colin, where he'd promised her that he'd stay up all night if he had to, to get the column right.
And it was brilliant.
To her well-trained eye, she could spot the little amendments he had made to her original draft, and the turns of phrase he had added – his line about the roll of the dice stood out to her particularly – but to the general readers of Lady Whistledown, the passages were seamlessly indistinguishable from her usual columns. It was simple, concise, speculative while still factual, and one could only hope she was right that the effect on the ton of Whistledown's endorsement of Kate and Anthony would lessen the fallout for the families involved.
She went about the rest of the day scarce unable to stop herself from humming and singing out loud, so pleased was she with the outcome. In fact, when after dinner Mama scolded her for humming 'Toast and Catch' too loudly, she hardly minded it at all.
MONDAY (MORNING)
Two days later, on Monday, reality came crashing in.
During their family luncheon, Jack announced that he had invited Miss Cressida to promenade with him that afternoon, to a general silence at table.
Penelope watched the flicker of Jack's eyes towards Mama, his raised eyebrows. Portia plastered a fake smile onto her face. "Well, that's just… lovely," she said with strained cheer, fixing an expectant gaze on her daughters.
Prudence stared back sulkily; she was still unhappy that the attempts to marry her to Jack had been dropped.
Philippa, true to form, found her own special way of skipping points A to Z and barrelling right ahead to point one hundred. "Promenade? With Cressida?" she frowned. "You're not courting her are you, Cousin Jack?"
Portia cleared her throat, shooting daggers at Philippa. "I thought I told you not to refer to Jack as 'cousin', Philippa," she admonished. "Jack is Lord Featherington now. And he is…merely exploring the marriage mart, are you not?"
Jack, watching the exchange with a sardonic half smile, wiped his mouth with a napkin and shrugged. "I see no harm in telling the truth," He smiled to Philippa. "Yes, Philippa, I am indeed courting Miss Cowper."
Penelope frowned to herself, eyes darting back and forth between him and Mama as she took this in, trying to understand. Mama clearly thought the subterfuge was best accompanied by complete secrecy and utmost nonchalance, while Jack, apparently, had decided the only thing he needed to lie about was his fortune, or lack thereof.
He intended to pursue his public courtship until its ultimate conclusion, then. Penelope supposed it made sense; he had after all been showing interest in Cressida since his arrival at the start of the season, an interest that had been noticed by others in the ton.
Jack, above all, must not appear to be in too much of a rush to anyone. A wealthy eligible bachelor, after all, was meant to be the one who was reluctantly and then completely befuddled by love into proposing marriage to his unassuming and effortlessly bewitching, lucky, bride.
His mannered attention to Cressida at balls, the family dinner with Lady Cowper and Cressida before the country visit, and now this invitation to promenade; this was traditional courtship. She had to hand it to him – it was a deceptively simple and clever plan.
A plan that she herself was no nearer to figuring out how to stop from happening.
Prudence was glaring daggers at Mama after Jack's statement, clearly blaming her for the way things had unfolded. Philippa merely uttered "Oh," in response to Jack, and was now absorbed with finishing the rest of her chicken.
Mama switched her gaze to Penelope, eyebrows raised. For god's sake, Penelope groaned inwardly, the one time she feels a need for me to comment. Normally she tells me to shut up.
"Promenade will be… lovely indeed, my lord," Penelope said falteringly, attempting a smile. "Although… I do wonder, if I may be honest with you, if any man could be happy with Cressida. She has not been kind, in the past, to anyone who has crossed her." She considered. "Or… looked at her in a way she didn't like."
Portia coughed, covering… was that a laugh? Penelope glanced at her, stunned.
Jack merely smiled, and she had to admire the way he was able to appear unruffled and achieve such a casual air of amiability, when she knew him to be wicked indeed. "I thank you for your warning," he bowed his head to Penelope, "but it is not needed. I can take care of myself." He smirked. "Although your comments are noted."
He looked around at the Featherington women. "I expect all of you to accompany us this afternoon to promenade at Rotten Row. A public show of unity." Setting his napkin down on the table, he rose, bowed, and departed the room before Prudence could even open her mouth in protest.
MONDAY (AFTERNOON)
There was a slight breeze rustling the trees as the Featheringtons made their way along Rotten Row. The infamous strip in Hyde Park was the place to see and be seen, and traditionally a place of progression in many society courtships. All around, people were gathered in clusters on the smooth grassy grounds, or strolling at leisure along the path, fans fluttering as the members of the ton happily gossiped and chatted.
Before long, they found the Cowpers; Cressida and her mother both curtseyed exquisitely to Jack, and spared simpering nods to the rest of them, Cressida shooting Penelope a particularly pointed and triumphant smile before she took Jack's proffered arm, and they began their relaxed stroll along the path. Portia fell into step beside Lady Cowper, and Prudence and Philippa paired off as usual, leaving Penelope alone to bring up the rear.
She kept a wary eye on Jack and Cressida as they made their way down the Row. They appeared to be chatting quite amiably, Cressida's fan working overtime as she fanned herself, lingering suspiciously and tantalisingly close to her chest. She leaned in to listen to something Jack said, then laughed uproariously.
Penelope, watching them, felt the stirrings of despair. If their financial circumstances were as dire as Jack had described with his mines, there seemed little to do to rescue the situation. Which meant the choices that loomed before her were to either allow Cressida to be entrapped into a loveless marriage, used for her money, or, for the Featheringtons to go broke.
What was the saying? There was a rock. There was a hard place. And there was Penelope, wedged in between.
She had been over this many times in her mind since overhearing Portia and Jack's scheme, but as they walked down the Row, she rehearsed the facts again. Cressida was a bully. Cressida could in part be thanked for a great deal of Penelope's insecurities, and when the voice in her head sneered to tell her she wasn't good enough, that she was a wallflower, that she would never find love… that voice in her head belonged to Cressida.
But; Jack was also a bully, and what he was planning to do to secure his own future was tantamount to… well, to what Marina, Lady Crane, had intended to do to Colin last year. Jack would trap Cressida into marriage and use her for her money, robbing her of any opportunity to find lasting happiness or love with another. Given the personality she had, yes, the odds of that happening appeared slim to Penelope, but the fact remained that she should still have the opportunity to try, same as anyone else.
And the uncomfortable truth was, Mama was embroiled in the same purpose. Penelope went over the possibilities again in her mind – should she confront Mama, and tell her she knew everything? Or, should she confront Jack?
Cressida trilled with laughter again at the front of their group, smiling charmingly at Jack while Lady Cowper looked proudly on.
Or, Penelope thought grimly, for the thousandth time, she could confront Cressida. Cressida gave every impression of doing everything Lady Cowper told her to, and Lady Cowper likely had coached her daughter to encourage the advances of a gentleman who seemingly had both a title and a great fortune. If Penelope told Cressida the truth about the mines… it might be enough to stop the courtship.
And the Featheringtons would go broke. Penelope's stomach lurched. It was hard to fathom the loss of their position in society, which would mean losing their connections, which would mean losing the Bridgertons. To lose Colin, and Eloise... it did not bear to think about.
Then there was, she reminded herself, the matter of the small fortune she had amassed as Lady Whistledown. The money was stored, hidden away beneath the floorboards of her bedchamber. She could prop up her family with that if things came to that pass. But to do so would mean revealing how she had amassed such funds, which would mean publicly revealing her identity as Lady Whistledown.
Colin knew, and seemed to have somehow found a way to accept it, to accept her. But if the ton did not agree… they could all end up disgraced and cast out from society anyway. There seemed to be no choice here that ended happily for everyone.
But really, she knew, in the sinking feeling in her gut, what the right thing to do was. She felt it in every part of her, no matter how she tried to rationalise it. She'd never be able to live with herself if she didn't at least try to warn Cressida. Whether she'd be believed… that remained to be seen. She'd just have to try and find the right moment to have a word alone with her, although it was difficult to envision when that might be, as Cressida was currently walking close enough to Jack to practically be attached at the hip.
"Penelope!"
She looked up sharply to see Eloise waving to her off the side of the path. She was standing clustered in a group with Colin (her heart skipped a beat), and a few of Colin's friends, among whom she recognised Lord Fife. Eloise beckoned her over frantically, waving her hand.
"Mama, might I…?" Penelope began, calling out ahead to where Portia and Lady Cowper were walking, and Mama glanced over her shoulder, vexed to be pulled from her close scrutiny of Jack and Cressida. She huffed a little. "Yes, yes," she said carelessly, and thus Penelope split from the path, making her way over the grass towards Eloise and Colin.
She noticed as she hurried towards the group that the rest of the Bridgertons, and the Sharmas, were all standing a little further down; she could spot the dark-haired heads of Kate, Edwina and their mother, standing in conversation with Anthony, Benedict and Violet. The people all around them were certainly all whispering, and casting furtive and curious looks towards the betrothed couple, but one could hardly call it a hostile reception in public.
The article might have actually worked, Penelope thought with relief. She drew level with the group, glancing curiously at Colin's friends. She smiled at her best friend, her smile turning radiant as she then looked to Colin – it was hard to disguise her gratitude and joy for his assistance.
Greetings and introductions were exchanged, Colin waving a hand to his friends. "Lord Fife, Lord Lieber, Mr Edward Lieber… I believe you may know Miss Penelope Featherington."
Penelope thought there was something of a sneer on Lord Fife's visage as he faced her. She had never understood why Colin was friends with that gentleman – he was reputed to be uncouth and boorish at the best of times. Lord Lieber beside him, Penelope recognised from various society balls – he was tall, dark haired and dark eyed, and handsome enough if one cared to notice. He bowed to her politely enough. The other gentleman beside him, she wasn't sure if she'd seen before, but he was nearly the same height as Lord Lieber, also with dark hair and dark eyes, and she assumed this must the Mr Edward Lieber Colin had just mentioned, clearly a relative of some kind of Lord Lieber.
She curtsied as elegantly as she could with the grass beneath them. "Sirs," she greeted them.
"I was just saying," Colin said jovially, "How lovely a day it is for a promenade, don't you think, Eloise?"
"Hmmm?" Eloise looked up from where she had been avidly staring around at their surroundings, clearly not paying attention. "Oh! Yes. Well. As far as these things go, I suppose."
Penelope hooked her arm through Eloise's. "Tis a pleasant day indeed," she agreed, smiling at Colin. In the seconds that passed as they held each other's gazes, he raised his eyebrows at her, and she could nearly hear the unspoken question. Well?
Penelope, smiling warmly, gave the barest inclination of her head, hoping to try and convey all she felt in the gesture. Yes, I read it. Yes, I loved it. Thank you Colin, for being so understanding, so open, so accepting, so helpful to me.
Interrupting the moment, Lord Fife slung an arm around Colin's shoulders, snickering. "Aye, pleasant enough indeed, Bridgerton," he said mockingly. "Let's all pretend that we're not out here to see what the devil is going on with your brother. It's normally saved to the end of the season, but I for one was rather hoping to see some fireworks today."
Colin shrugged away from Fife's arm and stared him down, which was easy enough to do, as he was significantly taller. "I can't think what you mean, Fife," he retorted coolly, but Penelope could read the fire in his eyes. "My brother is happily betrothed to Miss Sharma, and our families are thrilled for them."
The younger Lieber, Edward, was quick to defuse the tension. "Gentlemen," he held out his hands soothingly, "that is quite enough. I am sure the Sharmas and the Bridgertons are to be congratulated. No need to bristle and puff out your chests in front of young ladies." He smiled at Eloise and Penelope, and Penelope noted the way his eyes lingered on Eloise's face.
Eloise was having none of this. "Yes, thank goodness you've composed yourselves now before it's too late," she scoffed bitingly. "I'm sure our delicate, ladylike constitutions mean we'd positively swoon here on the grass at any sign of conflict."
Colin, Lord Lieber and Penelope all laughed, with Fife rolling his eyes, but Edward was still staring at Eloise after her retort. It took him a moment to emit a quiet chuckle, and there was a thoughtful glint in his eye as he studied her, then bowed his head to her. "I meant no offence," he said softly. "I don't doubt that you are made from stronger stuff, Miss Bridgerton."
Eloise, blinking confusedly, opened her mouth to retort, but Colin interrupted hastily. "If you would excuse me, gentlemen," he smiled charmingly to his friends, "duty calls. I must escort my sister and Miss Featherington along the Row."
And neatly, with minimal fuss and pleasant farewells exchanged, they took their leave, returning to the Row's main pathway and wandering onwards. Eloise slipped her arm once more into Penelope's, and Colin walked on the other side of Eloise.
"Who was that man, again?" Eloise asked her brother, glancing over her shoulder back at the group of gentlemen they were leaving behind. "I am not so sure that I like him."
"Mr Edward Lieber," Colin supplied. "Younger brother to Lord Lieber, only by a year or two. He's been travelling abroad; I've not seen him for some time. I can't say I know him as well as his brother."
"Oh." Eloise stewed on that for a moment in silence, and Penelope decided to seize her opportunity.
"How… how is everything with the family?" She asked them both hesitantly, eyes lingering significantly on Colin. "I read Whistledown. I can't imagine the stress it must all have been."
"It's been…" Colin hesitated.
"A nightmare," Eloise supplied glumly. "Family meetings upon meetings. They decided in the end to stick to a version of the truth, a version that Whistledown must've got wind of, as the column aligned quite closely with the family mission statement." She shook her head, half in disbelief, half in admiration. "What I would give for the sources she has. It is beyond me."
Colin and Penelope's gazes met, and they both looked away quickly, hiding smiles. "Indeed," Penelope ventured politely, coughing slightly to cover a laugh.
"At least the publication worked in our favour, rather than against it," Colin pointed out. "Today is a test, to see how the public waters are." They glanced around; the Bridgerton brother and sister were attracting some scrutiny, but most of the clusters of people around them still seemed to be angled back towards where Anthony and Kate stood with their families. Some were openly staring, on tip toes no less.
"Ah yes, I simply love the threat of being eaten alive for putting one foot out of place," Eloise mused. "Though…" she paused, considering. "It could truly be worse. I don't think them to be hostile, like sharks. They are more curious, like…"
"Like monkeys?" Penelope said unthinkingly, half in jest, but it was gratifying when both Eloise and Colin laughed in response.
"Primates indeed," Eloise snickered. "I should think them to be dying to know all of the details of the whole affair. Like how, and why, and when the marriage will take place. As if it shouldn't be half obvious that the sooner they marry and end the speculation, the better."
"Anthony told me they have applied this morning, and been granted, a common marriage license from the bishop," Colin said casually, looking significantly to Penelope, who understood immediately what he was telling her – this was extraordinarily useful Whistledown fodder. "Citing that very reason. They must wait at least seven days, but otherwise, they can marry as soon as next week. There was talk of next Tuesday morning."
"If I was them, I would be making haste straight to Scotland," Eloise noted decisively. "Straight to Gretna Green, and have the whole thing done and over, hang the speculation of the ton and the whole tiresome public scrutiny."
Penelope shook her head. "That would only provoke scandalous rumours," she mused slowly. "An elopement to Scotland would be a bad idea – people might say that the bride had been compromised, prompting the betrothal and hasty marriage, or even, God forbid, found herself with child before marriage. A special license might take too long to obtain, and likewise the reading of the banns would take too long. A common license is the smartest option."
She'd spoken unthinkingly, and it took a moment to register that Eloise was regarding her with open mouthed shock, and Penelope realised she couldn't recall the last time she'd disagreed so openly with something Eloise had said. It had become too much of a habit to just mildly agree and keep the peace when Eloise was ranting about something.
Colin was studying her, a slight smile on his face, and Penelope raised her chin a little higher, although her heart was beating faster. It was a new sensation, speaking her opinions aloud instead of solely by the written word.
"I agree with Pen, El," Colin said helpfully.
Eloise's mouth snapped shut and she turned her head to glare at her brother, but it was good naturedly, and Penelope breathed a sigh of relief. "Very well," Eloise sighed, "if you must gang up on me. But mark my words, if it was my choice, I'd be halfway to the border by now."
"I'll keep that in mind next time I can't find you, El," Colin teased her. "I'll assume you've run off with one of your many suitors."
"Oh, do shut up, Colin."
The trio continued on their promenade, chatting, laughing and teasing each other comfortably. In the rare moments of companionable silence they shared, it was on the tip of Penelope's tongue to confide everything about Jack and Cressida to them, but still, she held back – it felt like a problem she needed to try and solve on her own. Besides, they had enough going on with the family scandal.
As they returned back towards where the Bridgertons and Sharmas had been located, Penelope was thinking hard. She would need to write about the license, and the possible wedding, in the next Whistledown. Ideally news like this should come out in the next few days, and she needed a way to signal this to Colin.
"Penelope!"
Looking around, Penelope could see the Featherington party standing a little way off. Jack appeared to be making his farewells to the Cowpers, and Mama was gesturing impatiently to her, beckoning her, clearly keen to return home.
Turning back around, Penelope smiled hastily at Eloise and Colin. "I must depart, I'm afraid. It was a pleasure to see you both," she declared. "I am truly glad that this business with Anthony and Kate seems likely to be a happy ending."
She met and held Colin's gaze, trying to signal him with her eyes to pay heed to her words. "Once could even say, in the next few days, that Cupid has brought the pair of them together."
It only took a few seconds; Colin frowned slightly, studying her, before a light of comprehension dawned in his deep blue eyes, and he bowed his head, smiling knowingly back at her. "Indeed," he agreed smoothly. "They are now… understood to be a successful pairing."
Eloise looked back and forth between them, raising an eyebrow. "You've gone daft, the pair of you," she snorted. She glanced over her shoulder, seeing Violet gesturing now towards her two younger children to join the family group, and sighed. "Come on Colin, we should be going too. See you later, Pen," she smiled, and she released Penelope's arm and set off towards her family.
"Bye, Eloise," Penelope said, then took a deep breath and looked back up to Colin's face. He was still studying her, and though she could not know it, he was thinking at that moment that there seemed to be no end to the ways that Penelope could surprise him.
She curtseyed, and he bowed, and there were no further words needed as their eyes locked. They both turned and walked away from each other, Penelope unable to stop smiling secretly to herself. What a pleasure it was, to be so easily understood by another.