A/N: I decided to rewrite the story from Longing and Betrayal and give it a new life. Just because I happened to replay the game again after so long and rereading the old story just made me feel that I could've written a better plot.
"If you were me, what would've you done?"
"If you were forced to choose between revenge and sympathy—"
He was suddenly reminded of a conversation he used to have with her, ironically... at this very same spot. But unlike before, he no longer had her by his side... to make sure that he didn't lose his way...
.
Somehow now he couldn't stop recalling the words spoken by the Blast Worm who helped him escape, back in Epentar when Orha took him there. Even though they said that they didn't like humans, they still... while clinging to their fading lives... tried to help him escape from being killed by the other rebelling Blast Worms. He couldn't also forget the sight that he saw afterwards, of numerous dead Blast Worms lying petrified on the floor. Seeing all of them in that kind of state, could he fault them for trying to fight for their survival?
Even the Blast Worms were getting tired of this war. And that particular Blast Worm was the only one who bothered to show kindness toward him, a human.
At this point, he had to agree with that Blast Worm. He's also tired of this ongoing fighting... now.
What's the point in continuing to fight, if you couldn't even protect what you wanted to protect?
Will this war ever end?
。。。
"Calintz... why are you here?"
"No... I don't want to fight you!"
He should've noticed early on that something was amiss. He was supposed to have never met the queen of Yason in the past, and that time should be his first... yet the woman could recognise him immediately at first glance! He should've been able to piece the clues from that point on—!
He heard her calling his name. He heard her voice... trying to speak to him to get him to realize something. Why didn't he notice it? Was it her different way of speaking that caused him not to know it sooner?
What could've happened differently if he had tried to approach 'Amila' calmly back then when he met her in the garden? Could he have found out that Amila was Reith much earlier than he did? Could the things that took place later on happen differently if he had known Reith's true identity much earlier? If he had known that Amila was Reith, could they have done something different to confront 'Agreian'?
"Calintz..."
Why were the fates so cruel to him? Must it also rob himself of this hope? He had no other reasons to live before... other than to seek revenge on the Yasons who had a hand in destroying Fuget. The village that took him to shelter after he was found by the villagers there. Alone... with no other family save himself.
The place that he considered his home...
.
To take revenge on that person who betrayed his trust and burned down his home was his sole reason to keep on living. To kill the one person he helped who then betrayed him by destroying his home and slaying his master in front of his eyes. That person whose cold smile chilled his heart. Astal. Rianna's husband. But then he found out that the man was ordered to destroy Fuget by a much higher-positioned person.
In the end, Astal was killed by their wife. A sad ending. Both to him... and the husband and wife couple. An end of which should not have happened, for Astal was not truly on the side of the enemy...
At least by that point.
.
Even then, there was no relief for him... once he achieved what he sought to do. Even with Astal's death, he felt empty. Since deep in his heart, he didn't despise the man that much. In reality... he also wanted to hear the explanations from Astal. On whether or not Astal intended to fool him from the very beginning when they first met...
Because back then... he thought that he'd shown how genuine his feelings were for their short-lived friendship. He thought Astal knew that he bore no animosity towards the Yason back then, he used to believe that all of them could get along well.
He just wanted to know if there was a hint of sincerity during the short time they spent together. But he'll never be able to find out about it, now that Astal's dead.
。。。
It was the same with her.
.
Now that he thought about it, if not because of the attack on Fuget many years ago, he had no reason to hate Yason. Human or Yason, it didn't matter to him.
He loved Reith. Unfortunately, it took him losing Reith for good for him to realise that he loved the amnesiac girl who turned out to be the queen of Yason, the supposed enemy of his. It was just like how his other party members kept teasing and hinting at him to try to make him admit that he liked Reith. They knew it all along... from the very beginning.
.
Haren disliked her from the very beginning, saying that they weren't amused at how many times he used to risk his life to protect Reith. Haren must've suspected it from the start... just like how Eonis, Azel and Chris came to the same conclusion. Chris would've insinuated that he'd fallen for her because she was cute. It was just like Chris to say something like that... but he's not the kind of person to just fall in love with anyone just for that reason.
Not him.
It was different for him. During the course of his life as a mercenary, he met with a lot of women in his exploits. Countless women had expressed interest in him; many were beauties themselves, but he never took a fancy to them. He never did. Never would. Not that he wanted to care about it, since he was not that interested in pursuing any romantic endeavours. Even as Eonis was part of his party, he felt nothing more towards her than just as friends. Or as a sister.
That was how clueless and disinterested he was in anything romantic. So much, to the point that he was completely oblivious towards any affection directed towards him, that he never realised how much Lehas loved him. Alas, she was dead. Killed by a Yason called Sdei, the man that Reith, Justina and Rianna set free. Thinking that the man was not a spy, even when he was. A spy of the Turibos...
To think that he ended up falling in love with someone as innocent and naive as Reith. She was a girl who never thought anyone could be evil, so trusting of anyone she met for the first time. Never realising that their actions may lead to the deaths of so many people. For trusting the wrong people...
That was how naive she was when she was still the girl who had lost her memories. Easily believed in people she first met, easily trusting them. Since the day they first met, he couldn't let his eyes off her for fear of her safety. Worrying if someone may trick her and hurt her. He always felt that he just had to be around to protect her.
.
Maybe, that was what attracted him towards liking her. Her naivety, her innocence. She somehow reawakened his heart to start believing again in the hope that maybe someday, humans and Yasons could live together in peace. Because he wanted to believe in the kind world Reith believed in.
What was he thinking? For this one girl who had lost her memories, whom he did not know of her background. He had unknowingly opened up his heart to her, no, as far as giving that heart to her to be cherished. And for what? Now that she had regained her memories, he found out the real truth about her identity.
Even worse, to have that person sacrifice their life to save him!
.
How could the world treat him like this? How could Reith be—? That was impossible! It must be!
And even worse than this—why would Reith sacrifice herself to save him? Especially after he'd tried to kill her! After she recovered her memories and found out that they were supposed to be enemies, she shouldn't have cared about him after he had almost taken her life by his own hands!
.
Even then, did it still matter now? Yason or human... he still loved her all the same. But why must fate be so cruel? Not only that he had found out about her true identity and had to suffer for losing her, he found out the real face of the person whom he thought was his friend! And the fact that made it worse was that he finally found out the biggest betrayal that friend gave him...
。。。
"Calintz... what are you doing? If you don't give me the Earth Shard now, you'll never see your mother anymore!"
Looking back, he shouldn't have obediently followed Hugo's orders... telling him to force Amila—Reith—to give up her Earth shard. Hugo practically revealed themself to be an impostor—that they were Neikan—to him and using his mother as a hostage, he should've realized that nothing good would happen if he did exactly as told. There was no guarantee that Neikan would let his mother go if he gave up the last shard to them...
"You're the cause of this war. If you didn't exist... then none of this would've happened—"
"Does it make you feel better to put the blame on others?"
She was right. It wasn't her fault that he got played completely by Hugo, she wasn't the one making him blindly trust Hugo... just because they're an old friend. She wasn't the one who was cornering him to let 'Neikan' recover all eight shards of the Light of Salvation, she wasn't the one who tricked him into recovering and handing most of the remaining shards of the Light of Salvation to the true enemy!
But it was much more convenient to just push the blame to someone else... wasn't it?
He couldn't stop thinking about those moments when he fought with Amila. He couldn't stop replaying the moment when the mask she was wearing fell and revealed her face to him. The shock he felt after realizing that the 'enemy' he just fought turned out to be Reith all along!
"Calintz... I'm sorry."
"Calintz, please... do it for me."
He shouldn't have given Hugo the last shard. If he hadn't, Hugo wouldn't have been able to use the Light of Salvation to kill them off. Then Amila—Reith—wouldn't have sacrificed her own life to save him and his mother...
Even if Hugo DID hold his mother hostage, he should've been able to save his mother without handing over the Earth shard to Hugo. He had Reith by his side back then, hadn't he? Even if anything went wrong, as long as the two of them were together... they should be able to overcome it. He should have been able to do something to save his mother without doing what Hugo told him...
If only he could've done that instead...
Then Reith wouldn't be...
Reith wouldn't be...
.
She would've still been by his side right now...
。。。
"Captain... So this was where you are!"
He hastily turned his eyes away from Azel, from the rest of the group... as he tried to pretend that neither of them was actually standing around him. Perhaps, if he ignored their presence long enough and did not react to their queries... maybe they'll eventually leave him alone. That's all he wished to do right now... to be left alone.
"Oi! Just say something, can you? Just disappearing like that... did you know how worried we were?"
"Just knock it off! Did you think that you're the only one feeling heartbroken right now? I still can't believe that Reith was Amila... but even so, she sacrificed herself to protect you! Is this how you pay her back?"
Calintz gritted his teeth silently. Gosh, can't ANY of them take a hint? Can't they just leave him alone?
"Calintz..."
This time it was Justina who spoke out. And he thought that the young Amabat priestess had disliked him a lot. So why would she be sounding as if she was really worried about him?
"Since that day, Mistress Ladrinne... has shut her heart to the world. She really needs you right now. So please... don't give up..."
Oh. Suppose she would've also worried about his—Mistress Ladrinne. But of course, Justine was one of the priestesses who served Mistress Ladrinne at the Great Temple. Of course, she would be would be concerned about that... person.
"Look, Calintz. If you don't feel like talking, then you don't have to. But, at least come see the Great Priestess. She IS your mother after all..."
Calintz bit his lips.
Mother. His breath hitched at the thought. Guess that means everyone already knew about that bit... now. He wondered if Orha had told the others about it, he did somewhat sense that Yason was nearby earlier when the others arrived to check on him. Before he ran off without a word... unwilling to tell them about what happened during the earlier confrontation with Nei—Hugo.
They must have figured it out; once they were told of Hugo's true identity, and figured out the reason why he's the only person who could open the door that led to the chamber where the Ice shard was kept... not to mention the bracelet that his mother was holding—his. Before leaving his mother to the others he recalled that his mother had picked up a small bracelet that had fallen to the ground. Hugo must've left it earlier. And he knew that at least Eonis had overheard him muttering about how Mistress Ladrinne's bracelet looked similar to his.
But forget about that...
Right now, there's no way he could go back to see his mother...
.
"Damned him! Wallowing in sorrow... how pathetic!"
Raul spared a glance at the remaining members of Tears of Blood as some of them started expressing their frustrations aloud, Haren especially. He turned back to see Calintz still crouched unmoving beside the ancient tree behind them, seemingly unbothered by the commotion. He sighed.
"It seems that this is something that he has to work through on his own. A trial, of sorts," he said aloud... prompting the others to turn their attention towards him.
The second youngest of the Tears of Blood members, Azel, nodded their head at him. "I'm sure that he'll overcome it. We just have to be patient."
What a sensible young lad... and Eonis also had the same beliefs. Glad to know that the rest of the party wasn't quite as hot-headed as Haren... or even Rianna. Calintz sure had good people on their side...
He shrugged to himself before turning around to leave.
"...let's wait for him at Emon."
。。。
He didn't even realise it until much later. Before he knew it, he was already walking back towards his old home. Towards Fuget. How he ended up here... he didn't even know. He didn't even recall how he was able to reach the old village while also avoiding being attacked by stray monsters and creatures...
His legs felt so heavy... yet he continued to march forward. Calintz turned his head to glance behind him, seeing nothing.
Yet he could've sworn that he sensed that someone... or something had been watching him.
.
"There he is!"
"Had he lost his mind already?"
"Let's kill him now... there should be some reward for us if we take his head back—"
Calintz lifted his head to see several Alliance soldiers rushing towards him with weapons as the sight left him feeling nothing. So was this supposed to be his end—well, he couldn't care less now...
A warm breeze suddenly blew around him as Calintz stared in surprise at the soldiers that were repelled away from him. Neither of their attacks had touched him... and as the fallen soldiers scrambled up on their knees, all of them were staring at him in fear.
"It's a phoenix!" one of them cried out as he turned around. As he did so, he could hear the sound of the Alliance soldiers running away from him.
Perhaps they were going to call for more people to come here. Not that he cared.
Calintz frowned at the fiery bird hovering in front of him. Recognition immediately hit him as he realised that he knew this 'familiar'. It was Amila's—this was Reith's familiar.
It dawned on him as to the reason why he was mostly unscathed when Hugo released the Light of Salvation to kill him, Reith and his mother.
"It was because of YOU!"
.
Calintz groaned in frustration as he lay sprawled on the ground, totally wiped out after frantically cutting down the many illusions of Reith that the familiar kept on conjuring. For some reason, it seemed as if he could tell what the familiar was trying to tell him. In a slightly twisted way, it felt to him as if the firebird was trying to 'cheer' him up. To tell him to keep on living.
But how could he do that when the one person that he wanted to stay with him was no longer—
Tears started to fall on his cheeks as Calintz lashed at the phoenix.
"Why did you save me and not her? Why didn't you keep her safe and instead—!" Calintz started to bawl loudly and unashamedly.
"I even tried to kill you without knowing anything... so how could you still... risk your own life... to protect me?"
Another warm breeze brushed the side of his cheek as Calintz glanced up again to see another illusion conjured by the phoenix. It was an image of a younger him... as well as another young girl.
He gasped as old memories started to resurface from the deepest part of his mind...
"Mano...?"
Why didn't he notice it earlier? He did hear Reith call out his name before... and she did tell him that she seemed to remember being in Fuget before...
"Reith... was that girl... really you?"
.
He left Fuget as he thoughtlessly headed towards the direction of the Tears of Blood headquarters. But then he started to hear a lot of voices arguing and went to investigate. To his surprise, he found Orha, one of the Four Warriors of Yason, with a girl—someone who looked a lot like Reith—arguing with another warrior, Azhadi. He immediately rushed towards them to help, just as Azhadi began to bark orders to have Orha and the girl killed...
。。。
"Calintz... please. Take Mistress Serina and escape! Save your life. Don't forget that Reith had sacrificed your life to save you!"
"Do it for Reith. Mistress Serina was her only sister!"
He glanced up towards the anxious-looking girl, dressed in red. If not because of the short hair and different attire, the girl could've passed as Reith should she want to do so. She really looked exactly like Reith, like a twin.
So does that mean that she was really... Reith's sister?
As if she was aware that he was staring at her, the girl Orha called Serina glanced back towards him. Calintz hastily looked away.
"Did you think that he managed to escape?"
He stole a glance towards her, saying nothing. That reminds him, this situation felt kinda similar somewhat. The first time he met with Reith—as their older selves—they ended up barely escaping with their lives as the two of them tried to escape from being pursued and killed by Orha. And this time, the situation that happened to Orha and Serina... paralleled the one involving him and Reith.
No, Calintz stopped himself. No, stop... he shouldn't be thinking about Reith! Even if he was able to keep Serina safe, it didn't change the fact that he failed to keep Reith safe. He failed Reith, the person... he wanted to protect the most.
There's no way he could forget about the biggest blunder of his life!
.
Serina was still staring at him again, as he shrugged. He thought about Orha... from the first time he ever fought with the Yason warrior, until now. "That guy... should be fine," he said softly. He hadn't turned to look, but it seemed that his answer was enough to ease the girl's worries. That guy should be fine, Orha Duren didn't get their title of the strongest of the Four Warriors for nothing. Compared to Orha, Azhadi was easier to deal with...
Then again, Azhadi brought along a lot of Blast Worms with them. He hastily shook his head.
No, that shouldn't be enough to take down Orha...
.
"...that guy... should be fine."
Serina felt her whole being becoming tense again as Calintz's soft voice answered her question. Despite everything, she couldn't help feeling comforted to have Calintz by her side. It really felt as if they were back to—!
Calintz suddenly stood up and started walking away. He paused for a moment, before turning his head towards her.
"Keep this in mind."
"As much as I'm keeping my promise to that guy to keep you safe, it doesn't mean that I'm accepting you fully as an ally."
"Don't forget that you also had a hand in causing so much misery to so many innocent people." Serina flinched as she caught Calintz's sharp glare directed at her. "My dearest friend was amongst those whose life has perished while you sat on your throne. Because of that, I could not fully accept you as part of my allies!"
As soon as he finished, Calintz resumed his march as Serina quietly followed behind.
。。。
"This is... Reith's twin sister?"
"Wait... are you saying, all these times when Reith was with us... this girl was acting as Amila?"
Of course, as he expected... it wouldn't be easy for him to convince the others to accept Serina as part of their group now. Too many things that happened in the past that they couldn't forget and ignore. Heck, the things the others were objecting to were the exact same thing that he had issues with Serina earlier. But on their way back to Emon from Amrond Woods, well, they did end up talking with each other. And he had to begrudgingly admit that Orha was right in entrusting Serina to him.
After all, how could he not feel obliged to protect Reith's only other family?
He ended up learning about the inner conflict inside Epentar itself as well as its many power struggles, he realized that things didn't turn out to be so clear-cut anymore. Even that side, had its own problem... and neither side was free of faults either.
And with Yason-Roven losing its queen, Epentar would also undergo some drastic changes as Efferia comes under Hugo's control. That can't be good.
.
Haren immediately slammed his fist down.
"Are you serious? You just want me to forget about everything she's done?"
Calintz let out a long sigh. And he thought he was able to explain to them fully about Serina's position back in Epentar. How initially Orha's attempt to place Serina to take over Reith's role temporarily ended up spinning out of control with the other members of the Four Warriors, Carian and Azhadi, plotting their own schemes in line with Hugo's. Not to mention the intervention from the other Yason ministers...
"She's been wrongly accused—!" he started to say, trying to explain that it was ultimately Carian's ploy to attack the HQ while also trying to assassinate Reith. But of course, since when has anyone ever succeeded in convincing Haren out of anything? Eonis and Justina also voiced their thoughts aloud and he understood their concerns, appreciating at least how the two still remained sensible despite their current predicament.
Eventually, they managed to arrive at a certain consensus... thanks to Raul, and they got into an agreement with regards to having Serina around. The huge argument made the girl self-aware of how much hate she accumulated, but that was something that Serina had to deal with on her own...
.
A hand slowly grasped his as Calintz found himself being led towards the room where his mother stayed. He stared at Justina in confusion as she ushered him to try to spend time with his mother. The young priestess left the room immediately after making sure that he was seated right next to his mother.
。。。
"So what's your plan now?"
Calintz turned towards the 'old' warrior who should still be resting now to recuperate their injuries. He heard that the former Hero of the Heavens had sustained quite a damage after confronting Hugo much earlier, leading to Hugo recovering the Heaven shard. Knowing how strong Raul was, goes to show how strong Hugo had become after acquiring most of the shards of the Light of Salvation.
He just shrugged at the man.
"What else is left for me to do? Hugo got to this point because I foolishly helped him to recover most of the shards." He bit his lips. "If anyone needs to stop him, that person should be me..."
A/N2: This first chapter probably be the only remaining obvious trace of the original fic that'll be retained in this third rewrite. While I may end up reusing some of the old twists, it won't be exactly like the old one now.