Hunter presents: ULF
Starring
Eda Clawthorne as Captain Texas
Willow Park as Ellen Wipley
Luz Noceda as Luzbert
Hunter as Hett
Amity Blight as Bane
Vee Noceda as Veesh
And
Gus Porter as Porter
"Somewhere, far out in the deepest darkest parts of deepest darkest space, there was a lone company spaceship known as the Yestromo parked up outside a stormy planet. That company was known as the Wittebane Corporation. Inside that very spaceship were a bunch of truckers who had just finished an important delivery of Ridley's cereal. They had just gotten out of hyper sleep early from their journey back to Earth from some sort of mysterious signal."
Inside a white room, six of the workers for the Wittebane Corporation were eating breakfast together barely dressed due to their interrupted hyper sleep.
They were Warrant Officer Wipley, fully dressed in her company jacket, pants and boots; Navigator, Luzbert, dressed in her jeans and white bra; Engineering Technician, Hett, dressed in his white Cosmic Frontier underpants; Executive Officer, Bane, dressed in her white underwear and white crop top; Science Officer, Veesh dressed in only a white towel and a face mask; And Chief Engineer, Porter, dressed in shorts and a white tank top.
Wipley looked to her colleagues in disgust over their lack of clothing. "What the heck guys?!"
"What?" Luzbert asked.
"This!" Wipley pointed to everyone and how inappropriately dressed they were. "I make the effort to be presentable whilst you guys are procrastinating!"
"Wipley, we've been rudely woken up from the best nap of our lives." Porter stated.
"Yup." Hett agreed.
"And Veesh, why are you wearing a face mask?" Wipley asked.
"I wanted to see what the fuss was about." Veesh replied.
"We don't even have a spa on this ship!" Wipley exclaimed.
"We do now." Bane stated lazily as she ate cereal.
"Okay, why am I the control freak? Shouldn't that be Amity?"
"HEY!"
"Look, it's probably just a spam email, right Hett?" Porter said.
"Yup."
"Hett, you just agree everything everyone says." Wipley stated.
"Yup." Hett said.
Luzbert leaned in to test the theory out. "Cats and dogs can get along." As she said that, the ship's cat, Ghost, walked past the table then stopped to lick their paw.
"Yup." Hett replied.
"Anime is better than western animation."
"Yup."
"Good Witch Azura is superior than Cosmic Frontier."
"Nope."
"HEY!"
"You're never going to get me to admit that, Luz."
Luzbert folded her arms in disappointment. The sight of her disappointment made Bane hold her hand in comfort, while Veesh just stroked her arm in awkward comfort.
"Point is guys, we are meant to be making a good example for future crew members of the Yestromo." Wipley said. "I mean, what would the captain say?"
Then, dressed in her white underwear, Captain Texas walking in, holding a cup of coffee. "Captain would say that the Warrant Officer is being a massive buzzkill!" The entire crew besides Veesh, burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter at Wipley's expense.
Wipley groaned in annoyance and ate her cereal. "Morning captain."
"Morning, Wipley." Captain Texas said. "I see you're dressed unlike everyone else."
"It just seemed appropriate." Wipley said as she crossed her arms.
"Alright, so you're probably why we were rudely woken from our nap." Captain Texas said.
"Yeah! No kidding!" Porter exclaimed.
"Tell me something I don't know." Bane retorted.
"Okay, so according to LILITH, the only reason why we have awoken from our slumber is because they picked up a distress signal." Texas explained.
The crew, besides Veesh, seemed alarmed. "A distress signal?" Wipley asked.
"From who?" Luzbert queried.
"Don't know." Texas replied. "Some poor loser who accidentally got stuck on LUV-247. An unmarked planet."
"Unmarked?" Wipley reacted. "That's dangerous. We need a scientific unit for that. We're just truckers in space."
"As the science officer, I think we should check." Veesh suggested.
"And as captain, we should." Texas said.
"But what about the safety of the crew?" Wipley asked with concern. "They're probably worried for their safety." However, the crew seemed uninterested with the safety of themselves.
"Eh…" Luzbert shrugged her shoulders.
Wipley gave a deadpan stare. "I should have sold my soul to the mouse."
A few hours later, the Yestromo landed safely on the dark, cloudy and stormy planet though with some complications. As they were landing on the planet, one of the rocks impaled one of the ship's engines.
In the cockpit, Captain Texas and Luzbert were sitting in front of the controls, not comprehending sparks bursting all around them. Texas appeared to be partway dressed in her captain's uniform while Luzbert was dressed but still brushing her teeth.
"We did it!" Luzbert exclaimed.
Meanwhile Captain Texas and Luzbert's landing had caused some mess amongst the crew. Veesh had a bowl of cereal on her head, Bane had her pants on her head and her shirt around her waist, Porter was trapped in a shower curtain while Hett had soap in his eyes.
"Great landing captain!" Hett remarked.
Wipley burst into the cockpit with messy hair, looking frustrated. "What in the name of sanity were you two doing?!"
"Landing the hunk of junk." Texas replied.
"Hunk of junk?" Wipley groaned in annoyance. "This is company property! This is coming out of our paycheques!"
"Eh, I got enough money for a wedding ring for Bane." Luzbert remarked nonchalantly.
Wipley strolled away from the group. "Unbelievable. Look Captain, as the Warrant Officer can I at least suggest you take some of the more responsible members of the crew with you?" She motioned to herself.
Captain Texas groaned. "I guess you are right. After all, that distress signal could be anything. So, I might as well get our more responsible and less shifty crew members."
Later, Captain Texas had gotten dressed in her space gear along with Veesh and Bane. The trio stood in front of the airlock, ready to brave the voyage through the unknown grounds. Whereas Luzbert, Hett and Porter were standing in amazement; While Wipley looked annoyed.
"Are you kidding me?!" Wipley exclaimed.
Captain Texas sighed. "What? Luzbert is the navigator and Bane is our executive officer. They're important roles, right?"
"Bane will stick her nose into anything including Luzbert!" Wipley exclaimed.
Luzbert blushed. "Especially the cream pies I bake."
"Meanwhile, Luzbert essentially gets distracted by a lot of things!" Wipley complained.
"No I don't!" Luzbert protested. "That is not tr…" She then notices Ghost walking past. "…Oh, hey Ghost."
"Okay, while me and the crew are out, Wipley and Veesh are watching the ship and listening out for anything." Captain Texas said.
"Well, at least you have an idea that I can tolerate." Wipley said. "As for Veesh…"
"I like to watch people sleep sometimes." Veesh stated creepily.
Porter and Hett gave each other some disturbed glances. "Creepy?" Porter asked.
"Yup."
"And remember, let us in no matter what." Texas said before pointing to Hett and Porter. "And you two bozos have gotta fix the engines or otherwise we are not going home."
"Booo!" Porter exclaimed in frustration.
"Yup." Hett responded.
"Do as your told, I am the captain!" Texas retorted.
"No!" Porter responded.
Later, Porter and Hett were down in the hull repairing the damaged engine while eating some chewing gum. Hett tried rearranging one of the screws until one of the sparks burst in his face, startling him.
"You okay, Hett?" Porter asked.
"Yup."
"Well, this engine's busted." Porter remarked.
"Yup."
"But with if we complete this in a few hours, then we'll be fine." Porter said.
"Yup."
They stared at the busted engine for a bit. Just taking in the fact that it is easily fixable. "Wanna watch a two and a half hour movie about gladiators?" Porter asked Hett.
"Yup."
Hett and Porter walked away to procrastinate and leaving the broken engine unattended.
Back in the cockpit, Wipley was enjoying waiting for word from the captain about anything they find. As she waited, she was eating a bowl of soup and watching the raging storm outside.
"One…Two…Three…" Lightning struck outside. "…One….Two….Three…Four…Five…" Lightning struck again.
Veesh entered the room, eyeing the officer with curiosity. "Might I inquire as to what you're doing?"
"Eating some soup while counting how long it takes for lightning to strike." Wipley replied before it struck again.
"About 13 seconds." Veesh replied.
"Alright!" Wipley offered Veesh a fist bump. She however just took a glance at it and moved it down.
"What do you think could be out there?" Veesh asked as she sat down next to Wipley.
"I hope nothing bad." Wipley replied.
"Like what?" Veesh asked.
"A deranged escaped convict, a new strain of virus, a bomb, a hostile alien civilisation or perhaps…One of those things meshed together." Wipley replied.
"Hmm. Unique theories." Veesh remarked. "I do hope one of them turn out to be true." She stared off into the distance ominously. "For your sake."
Outside the Yestromo, Captain Texas, Bane and Luzbert were slowly traversing their way through the raging storm by walking along a narrow path. The land they were on had dark, grey, storming clouds and just black rocks everywhere.
"This storm seems a little dangerous." Bane remarked. Then, she smiled. "Just like that time we went on vacation in the Pacific."
Luzbert laughed. "Oh yeah! We lost our luggage."
Captain Texas scoffed. "Oh please, I remember having a date in a hurricane and my dress got blown away." Texas chuckled. "Oh! If only Stan didn't have that dress on his face."
"Hey, what's that?" Bane pointed out something in the distance, through the fog. It looked to be a spaceship shaped like a horseshoe, looking to have crash landed on this very rock.
"Looks like a horseshoe." Luzbert remarked.
"And that's where the signal is coming from." Texas explained.
And so, the three unlikely heroes entered the ginormous spaceship to find their possible marooned captain. When they entered the ship, they found some sort of humongous seat and on it, was a giant.
Luzbert, Bane and Captain Texas looked at the ginormous thing in complete awe. "Oh my Titan!" Luzbert remarked.
"If this is who we are rescuing then count me out!" Texas protested. "How are we going to get that thing in our ship!" She began yelling at the figure. "Hey buddy, if you can hear me your rotten keister is going to have to dangle off the back!" The giant said nothing. "Look, we just came here on accident because our dumb AI got ahold of your signal!"
Bane managed to climb up the giant chair to look at the giant figure much more close up. She saw that up close its chest appeared to be shaped like a rip cage and there was a ginormous hole in it.
"They're dead!" Bane declared.
"Oh….Well, I ain't rescuing a corpse!" Captain Texas declared. "Let's go!"
Then, Luzbert looked down to see something under the floor grates. There looked to be some strange shaped, brown pellets.
Bane jumped off the chair and began to look down the same grate as her girlfriend. "Hey! I see them! What are they?"
"Probably dangerous. I hate to sound like Wipley but we should leave." Texas said.
"We can't." Luzbert said.
"Why?"
"Because Bane is currently abseiling down to the floor below." Luzbert said while Bane was abseiling down a harness attached to her belt.
Captain Texas groaned. "Just don't get an alien hugging your face!"
Bane sighed as she de-attached the harness around her waist. "Texas, that is very un-PC."
"Keep your politics out of this expedition and be the first victim!" Captain Texas demanded.
Bane began to analyse the nearest pellet right in front of her. There was caution, however, she was just a little bit more curious. "It seems organic. Not free ranged."
"Can we get them poached?" Luzbert asked.
"Hang on, there's something moving inside the pellet." Bane said.
"Poke your nose in it." Captain Texas said.
"Good idea!" Bane responded.
She began to lean into the pellet with intrigue. Then, it opened, almost looking similar to a flower blooming.
"It opened, Captain." Bane said. "And I think it's about to pop out. If I can just lean in close…" She began to lean into the strange organism. "…Then I might see what it-" All of a sudden, a leg-like creature popped out of the egg and latched itself on to Bane's face.
Back on the Yestromo, Hett was sitting on a chair eating a donut next to the repaired engine, disregarding it completely.
Porter sighed. "Shame we couldn't get that reel working."
"Yup." Hett replied.
"Do you think they'll come back soon?" Porter asked. "I want to get back home and stream some Cosmic Frontier and be lazy and that's about it."
On the cockpit, Wipley was busy lifting a dumbbell to help get some strength to her muscle until she heard the sound of beeping coming from a monitor. She pushed a button to answer the call.
"Wipley, open the door!"
Wipley, alarmed by the surprise desperation in her captain's voice quickly turned on the screen. On the screen, was an alarmed Texas and a teary eyed Luzbert carrying Bane, with some weird leg on her helmet.
"What is that on Bane's face?" Wipley asked.
"I don't know."
"Is it contagious?" Wipley asked, looking worried.
"Darn it, Wipley, open the door!" Luzbert demanded.
"I want to, but you know protocol! We have to quarantine!" Wipley exclaimed. "We have to inform our superiors! We have to do things by the book!"
"Forget the book, Wipley!" Captain Texas demanded. "I tossed it off at the shoulder of Orion!"
Wipley grumbled in frustration. "Think of retirement! Think of retirement! Only fifty years left." She got back to her captain. "Texas, you better listen to me! Wittebane has quarantine procedures! We need to follow them! So I'm sorry, you're going to have to be stuck here until we have the right rescue team!"
All of a sudden, Wipley heard the sound of the airlock opening. She left the captain's cockpit and towards the hanger where she saw Captain Texas and Luzbert carrying Banes unconscious body through the hanger and into a corridor.
Luzbert and the Captain took judgemental glances at her as they did. Wipley looked confused as to how they got in.
Until, she saw who pushed the button to open said door. It was Veesh, looking deadpan about the whole ordeal. Wipley narrowed her eyes at her before running off to join the others.
Later on, Veesh and Texas were in the medic bay operating on Bane, to try and remove the strange organism that had attached itself to her face. Everyone else were watching through a window.
"You could have just opened the door." Porter said with his arms folded.
"Yup!" Hett exclaimed.
"My girlfriend could have died, you stupid bi-!"
Before Luzbert could attack her, Hett quickly grabbed her to prevent her from hurting the warrant officer.
"Nope!"
"Wipley, Bane could have died if Veesh didn't open the doors!" Porter said.
"Has this ship gone crazy?!" Wipley exclaimed. "Am I the only one here who gives a cuss about the rules?!"
"Yup." Hett replied.
Inside the med bay, Texas was trying to pull the creature off of the face of Bane. However, no matter how hard she tried to yank it off of her, it just kept tightening. Then, Texas tried cutting it with a scalpel.
However, the blood was acidic, causing the tool to melt. She tossed it aside with all the other melted scalpels.
"So, what's the rundown, Veesh?" Texas asked.
"Creature is stuck tight around Bane's neck, it appears to be keeping her alive via some form of organic oxygen tube and the blood is acidic." Veesh explained. "Seems very explanatory, Captain."
"Well, we'll give this a day." Texas declared. "And no improvement, then we go back to Earth." She then heard Wipley give a judgemental cough. The captain sighed. "Fine…We will stay here and wait for the proper response team. Happy?!" Wipley gave the Captain a thumbs up.
The next day on the unknown planet, the crew were once again hardly dressed. Wipley was still fully dressed, Veesh was dressed in a pair of white pants and sports bra, Captain Texas was dressed in a white tank top while Luzbert was in her crop top and underwear.
"Why is everyone half naked all the time?"
"I'm basing this story off a horror movie I saw where the crew was essentially dumb and lazy. So, I thought to exaggerate it a little."
Veesh was staring at a sandwich Wipley made her, Wipley was monitoring expenses, Texas was busy eating some cereal near a worried and concerned, Luzbert. "…So anyway, I said to that maverick he was a loose cannon. Then, he said he was going to jump off the cockpit and fly. However to my surprise, he got snatched up by giant eagle and I never saw him again. Well, with his skin on, I found his bones on an unmarked island."
Luzbert groaned. "I just said I'm worried about Bane and all of a sudden, you got into a yarn about your navy days!"
"I found it somewhat entertaining." Wipley replied.
All of a sudden, Porter and Hett ran in the dining area dressed in their towels. This sight caused everyone to be baffled.
Wipley groaned in annoyance. "Hett, Porter, you are the engineers. If the shower isn't working, you can repair it!"
"It's Bane!" Porter said. "She's awake!"
"Yup!" Hett replied.
Later, after getting dressed, every single one of the crew members were in the medic bay celebrating that Bane was feeling slightly better. The executive officer sat on her operating table drinking a small cup of water while everyone was happily congratulating her on her recovery.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Porter asked.
"You feel any changes?" Veesh asked.
"Still looking beautiful." Luzbert remarked.
"I hope this means we can go home." Captain Texas said.
"Yup." Hett responded.
"Where's the creature?" Wipley asked.
"I don't know." Bane replied. "I felt like its presence was just gone. It just de-attached itself from my face."
Captain Texas looked into the trash can. "Right in the trash! Where it belongs!"
Veesh and the rest of the crew looked into the trash can. They looked disgusted by the dead leg looking creature that rested on top of their trash.
"Uh…That looks disgusting!" Porter exclaimed.
"Yup." Hett remarked.
"You know what taking this back to Earth could mean?" Captain Texas asked.
"It means we discovered a new species of life?" Porter asked.
"And…Make a butt load of dough from it!" Texas exclamation caused everyone but Wipley to cheer.
"Butt load of dough! Butt load of dough! Butt load of dough!" The crew except for Wipley and Veesh began chanting.
Veesh just stood with a blank smile while Wipley looked worried. "Yup! Yup! Yup!" Hett chanted along with the other crew.
Later on, the Yestromo had left the stormy planet to begin the very long voyage back to Earth. In the meantime, the crew decided to celebrate Bane's quick recovery and the fact they were going to have more money by the time they get back to Earth by having a celebratory last meal before being frozen cryogenically so they can sleep through their journey.
"So, what are we going to do with that money?" Captain Texas asked.
"I hope to buy a ginormous television!" Porter exclaimed.
"I hope to buy a better engagement…" Luzbert saw Bane giving her a raised brow and sighed. "…An engagement ring."
"You going to buy some Cosmic Frontier collectibles, Hett?" Wipley asked.
"Yup!"
"I'm going to buy the most expensive dress only Earth can have!" Texas declared. "And wear it once due to me always going a little too crazy with the v-lemonade."
"I'll buy a new sofa." Veesh said bluntly.
"What about you Bane?" Porter asked.
Bane began to think about the possibilities of her cheque all while holding on to her chest. "Well, for starters, some decent food. I can't stand this."
"Come on, Hermosa, the food ain't that bad." Luzbert said.
"It is." Bane retorted. "It's causing me some real chest pain."
Luzbert chuckled. "I don't think your metabolism can handle it like I can. I mean, it's not perfect but it's not too bad. I think you're exaggerating."
All of a sudden, Bane began having some coughing fits. This sight caused some concern and worry for the crew.
"Bane, what's wrong?" Wipley asked as Bane began spitting out her food.
"Is the food really that bad?" Porter asked.
"Yup." Hett said.
All of a sudden, Bane collapsed on the table, grasping to her chest as that was where the pain was coming from.
She began to flail around the table all while she screamed in agonising pain. The other crew members tried to help by holding her down but it was useless since they had no idea what to do.
All of a sudden, Bane's chest tightened and burned as she continued to flail around like something was climbing out of her.
Then, without anyone expecting it, Bane's stomach burst a bloody eruption. Blood squirted all over Luzbert's face as she screamed at the sight of her girlfriend's mangled body.
Out of the body was a creature. A creature so horrifying that it could only be described as almost owl like.
It slithered out of Bane's hole in her belly ate look around at everyone. "Hooot!" It exclaimed. "Gosh, I don't know what you guys were eating because I had to get out! To be honest, I was planning to come out once we got to Earth, but…I guess you really liked that food!"
"Oh my Titan, it's hideous!" Texas exclaimed.
"Kill it!" Porter was about to stab the creature with a knife, until Veesh got in front of him.
"Don't touch it!" Veesh demanded. "Don't touch it!"
The alien creature looked hurt. "Wait a minute, you want to kill me?!" It began to sob. "Why?! I just burst out of your friend's tummy and now want to kill you! IS THAT JUST SO WRONG?!" The creature just cried in distress before running away.
Everyone looked on in complete in shock and horror. No one in the very ship could come up with a logical explanation as to what had happened. Except for the fact, Bane was dead.
"Yup." Hett responded.
Later, after disposing Bane's body by respectfully dumping it into space. Right now, while Texas and Veesh help Luzbert through her grief, Wipley, Hett and Porter were searching for the creature through the ship.
They were in one of the dimly lit corridors, armed with nothing but mini torches. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think listening to Wipley might have been a good idea." Porter remarked.
"Yup." Hett agreed.
"Even though she is a paranoid doofus."
Wipley sighed. "I'm right here!"
"Yup." Hett responded.
Wipley sighed in annoyance. "I gotta find a new job."
"Wait a sec, what about Ghost?" Porter asked.
Wipley facepalmed herself. "Oh no! The cat is in danger!"
"Yup!" Hett said.
"Look, I know I don't make bright decisions, but I don't think we're going to find it sticking together!" Porter stated. "I think we should split up."
"Porter, that will make us easier prey." Wipley stated. "We need to stick together in order for that beast to not kill us. Right, Hett?" However, there was no yup or nope. "Right, Hett?" However, Hett was not there with them. He was gone.
"Hett!" Porter exclaimed.
Meanwhile, Hett had strolled deeper into the ship, specifically, a section of the ship which appeared to have chains dangling from the ceiling and water dripping from above.
Hett questioned the meaning of this, however just went his way. Then, he heard the sound of someone meowing. He turned to the right and saw Ghost hiding between a gap in the pipes.
"Yup." Hett just responded.
He got down on his knees to lure the cat out. He motioned her with his finger, however, it did not work. As the cat just hissed at him like it were terrified of him.
"I don't think he's hissing at you."
Hett froze upon hearing that voice. That disturbingly annoying high pitched voice. He turned around to face the tiny creature, however, when looking down on the floor he saw brown hind legs. He looked up and saw it had a slender body, sharp claws, crooked arms and that owl-like face. The creature had evolved into something bigger and more terrifying.
Hett stared at the grown up creature with bewilderment and awe. He could not believe that this very creature went from a baby bursting out of Bane's belly to this nightmare.
"Dear, profanity!" Hett exclaimed.
"Oh, so you can talk!" The alien said. "What a twist, hoot, hoot. Oh well. I gotta eat you alive now!" The alien just devoured Hett alive all while he screamed in pain.
The cat could only watch on with a disinterested and blank face.
Later in the breakfast lounge, Porter was sitting on the chair looking like he was distraught by what he had unintentionally found while Wipley was stroking his shoulder to comfort him.
"I don't know what got Hett." Porter said as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "But whatever it was, it was big."
"Oh and that voice!" Texas covered her ears. "That ear piercing voice! I can still hear it!"
"What are we going to do?" Veesh asked. "That thing could be anywhere."
"It's probably travelling through the vents." Wipley theorised. "It would make logical sense."
"Vents, huh?" Captain Texas pondered the idea before walking away.
"Well, do we just smoke it out?" Luzbert asked.
"Then there's a chance it could impact our oxygen supply." Wipley replied. "One of us will have to go in there and retrieve the beast."
"I can't go in there." Veesh said. "I don't like tight spaces."
"I would go in there but…I'm wearing white." Luzbert's reason caused Wipley to sigh.
"I'm too traumatised." Porter stated.
"I'll need to monitor someone because neither one of you can handle this tech." Wipley said.
"I'll do it!"
The crew turned to the voice of Captain Texas and Luzbert screamed in horror by what she was seeing. Captain Texas had stripped to her underwear and was rubbing grease all over her body.
"Captain Texas!" Wipley exclaimed. "What in the name of sanity are you doing?!"
"I'm going in the vents." Texas declared.
"Why?!" Wipley exclaimed. "And I don't mean your noble sacrifice, but why did you need to strip down to your underwear to go in the vents when it's just big enough for your slender body!" Wipley pointed to the circular shaped vent which indeed looked big enough for their Captain.
"Well, Wipley, it's so that beast can't catch me!" Texas replied. "I covered myself in grease, butter and olive oil so it won't do to me like Hett. I'll admit, I'm not the best captain, but even then, going out like a lazy coward would be pathetic. I'd rather go out taking the creature down. Heck, even I'd accept a tax write off."
"Huh?" Luzbert asked.
"Like Sergeant Banks." Texas replied. "She didn't get her chance for a second mission because the company cancelled it as a tax write off! I get Banks wasn't the best, but even I would have liked to have seen where the mission was going instead of putting a ton of dedicated workers out of the job like a bunch of hacks!" Texas, Wipley, Luzbert, Veesh and Porter narrowed their eyes at the fourth wall, straight towards at the Wittebane logo sign.
"Alright, Texas!" Wipley said. "I'll keep an eye out!"
Later, inside the vent, Texas was crawling through the dark and tight space determined to find the creature. She turned right along the corridor of mazes before making a left turn.
On the other end, Wipley was keeping an eye out for her and the creature by monitoring a screen with a blinking light that represented her captain.
"I got you, Captain." Wipley stated through a communication device.
"Any sign of the creature?" Texas asked.
"No." Wipley replied. "Keep going."
Texas continued to crawl. "Hey, creature, do you want to eat me?" Texas saw a ladder and carefully climbed down it due to still being covered in all sorts of slippery ingredients.
"Captain, what are you doing?!" Wipley asked.
"Trying to draw it's attention!" Texas replied. "Hey, ugly! Don't you want to devour me?! I'm covered in olive oil, grease and butter! I mean come on…" She pinched her hips. "…I'm exposing some of my yummy cellulite for you!"
"I did not need to know that." Wipley grumbled.
"It'll happen to you when you're older!" Texas retorted. "Come on you beast, don't you want to chew the bits of flesh off my bone?!"
Meanwhile, Wipley looked at the screen where she noticed another blinking dot coming straight towards Texas.
Wipley gasped. "Texas, it's coming for you! Behind you!"
"Alright!" Texas turned around to face the beast. She raised her arms out as she heard the sinister hooting.
"Wow! You even smell delicious!" The creature remarked. "I can't wait to lick that creamy butter off of your vanilla skin!"
"Don't compare my body to my least favourite ice cream flavour you beast!" Texas exclaimed. "Wipley, I'm taking it down!"
"Did you have a plan?" Wipley asked as she saw the beast coming towards the Captain.
"Yeah! Grab it!" Texas replied.
"With greasy hands?!"
Texas froze in horror as she realised that Wipley had a point. She looked at how greasy her hands were and groaned. "You know, you might as well-"
Before she could finish, the creature quickly devoured Texas with an ear piercing 'Hoot!' And soon, the feed was cut.
Later on, the remaining remembers of the crew sat around the dining table unsure of what to do. Wipley looked deep in thought, Porter was still traumatised, Veesh looked indecisive while Luzbert was in tears.
"So now what?" Veesh asked.
"Captain's dead." Wipley replied. "That means, by order of ranking, I'm in charge."
"If you're open to suggestions, how about you command us to kill that thing!" Luzbert demanded.
"We have to." Wipley said. "But, I think I'll need to talk to LILITH about it as I am acting captain."
"Oh, when you go in there Wipley, I told Texas the same thing, do not open the file marked, Operation Scott." Veesh requested.
"Why?" Wipley asked.
"Just don't." Veesh replied.
Later, Wipley, now the new captain, had walked through the captain's quarters. It was almost as disgusting as she was before and after she died. It was filled with empty bottles of liquor scattered all over, mayonnaise all over her bed and plastered all over her wall were pictures of famous Earth musician, Raine Whispers.
"Honestly, I should be careful where I put my fingers." Wipley said. "I'm sure most of this stuff is salad cream as well."
When Wipley entered the room marked LILITH, she was greeted to a brightly lit hallway that was filled with walls of monitors. She approached the chair and sat down.
She typed the password on the keys of the computer which gave her access to the files for LILITH. She typed the first question which was 'What is Operation Scott?'
Operation Scott: A mission manned by delivery truckers. Destination: LV-46. Mission: Answer distress signal intercepted by Wittebane foundation six weeks ago.
Wipley gasped and then typed the next question. 'Why us?'
The crew is expendable. Veesh will bring what is intact of the life or what remains.
"Veesh?" Wipley reacted in shock.
"Surprised, captain?"
Wipley turned around to see Veesh standing right in front of her with a magazine in her hand. "Veesh! You knew we'd be out here to die and you said nothing!"
"I wanted to see what the organism was capable of." Veesh said. "It did things my calculations did not anticipate."
"You knew that thing would kill Bane?!" Wipley exclaimed.
"I knew Bane was to birth the creature. However, the abdomen exploding was nothing I could have expected." She said.
"So, your mission was to bring back life and do nothing if the crew were to die?!" Wipley exclaimed in shock.
Veesh smiled. "You have no way to defeat this thing. You have my sympathy."
All of a sudden, before Veesh had time to react, she felt like she was poked by something electric, causing her to fall on her front. The person who caused her to collapse turned out to be none other than Porter, holding a cattle prod with Luzbert behind him.
Wipley gave a relieved smile until she saw what was happening to Veesh. She appeared to be having a seizure while white liquid began to spurt from her mouth.
Porter poked her with the cattle prod again, causing her to scream in a distorted and cybernetic tone. "Oh my gosh!" Luzbert exclaimed. "She's an android! Veesh is a gosh darn android!"
Porter continued to poke her with the cattle prod all while she continued to scream. Then, her head exploded into white blood, wires and bits of artificial flesh.
The remaining crew members all gave each other some concerned and knowing looks. "So, this is all we were to the Wittebane Corporation?" Luzbert asked. "We were just made to suffer from the beginning?"
Wipley gave a determined stare. "Well we are about to prove them wrong. We need to leave the Yestromo, ASAP!"
"But first, can I get a quick cup of coffee?" Porter asked. "All the trauma, killing crew members and running from alien life forms make me thirsty and exhausted."
"THERE IS NO TIME FOR THAT!" Wipley exclaimed. "Get everything together while I find the cat and prepare the self destruct sequence. And don't take too long!"
However, Porter and Luzbert were in the cafeteria each having a cup of coffee together, completely disregarding their captain's commands.
"Who is the captain talking to?!" Luzbert exclaimed. "I need one last cup of coffee before we go!"
"Yeah! I'm far too tired for this." Porter said.
"Do you want any milk in your cup?" Luzbert asked.
"Yeah, sure go ahead." Porter replied. "Semi skimmed."
"Sure thing." Luzbert said.
Luzbert got off her seat and walked towards the fridge to get some soy milk for her and semi skimmed for Porter. However, she found the soy milk but couldn't find the semi skimmed.
"Hey Porter, where was the semi skimmed milk again?"
But when Luzbert turned to face her friend, instead, she found that he had been devoured by the alien, evident by the fact the very creature was swallowing his legs.
Luzbert was so shocked that she dropped her milk and began to tremble with fear. She was very paralysed and could not move in the slightest due to intense fear of the creature in front of her.
The creature wiped its lips with its arms as it snarled at the petrified crew member. "Oh! You spilt the milk! I was about to use it to help drown the bits of bone I still had in my gullet." However, Luzbert was still petrified and was unable to move. "Hmmm, well, I'm gonna eat you!" The alien screeched before devouring Luzbert.
Elsewhere, Wipley was carrying Ghost in her little cat cage in order to get to the escape shuttle. She heard the sounds of Luzbert's screams across the hallways of the ship and gave a terrified expression.
"Ohhhh, Luzbert!" Wipley knew that the creature had gotten Luzbert and Porter and she was the only one remaining. She exhaled sadly before continuing to run for her life.
Two minutes remaining
Knowing the creature wasn't the only thing she was up against, but a ticking clock as well. She ran down the corridor which for some reason had blinking lights turning on off like it were some kind of dance club.
One minute remaining.
She ran into the escape shuttle with the cat in hand, put her seatbelt on, pushed the buttons that de-attached the shuttle from the Yestromo.
Thirty seconds remaining.
She activated the shuttle to full thrusters, powered up the atomic batteries and adjusted the turbines to an appropriate speed to avoid the blast coming from the ship's explosion.
Fifteen seconds remaining.
Wipley steered the shuttle away from the Yestromo as fast as she could, hopefully far enough to avoid the devastating blast.
Three….Two…..One…Thank you.
Then, with a ear shattering and explosion as wide as the average nuclear bomb, the Yestromo was no more as it had been decimated.
The shuttle WIpley was on began to tremor from the tremendous force of the explosion. Thankfully, the flames, debris or powerful force of the explosion did not cause any kind of damage to her escape shuttle.
She gave a relieved sigh as she felt the nightmare from the creature was finally over. "I got you. I got you. I got you, you son of a…" She exhaled. "I don't know about you Ghost, but all I wanna do is sit down, have some calming tea and relax."
Later, Wipley, dressed in a pair of purple shorts and a cropped white tank top that showed off her abs….
"Of course she has abs."
She sat down on a the chair with a nice cup of tea in her hand. She exhaled happily as she drank her beverage.
"We were almost screwed Ghost." Wipley remarked. "But in the end, we survived. Even though I did all of the work so, thanks for the assistance." Ghost licked her paw, ignoring the judgmental comments from her owner. "You know, I'm wondering, what if there was a chance that the creature survived?" Ghost meowed. "Oh yeah, then it would lead to sequels, a prequel and a Titan knows how many reboots and crossovers. Well, let's get you back in that freezing box." Ghost hissed in defiance before she began to run around the ship.
Wipley got off her chair to chase after the cat. "Get back here Ghost! Come on!"
And so, Wipley continued to chase the cat all while the shuttle safely continued its journey back to Earth.
However, what she didn't know was the fact that the alien had managed to hitch a ride on top of the shuttle. "Hoot! Hoot! Guess who?!"
To be continued….Indefinitely.