Work in Progress: Study of a Mad Golfer's Daughter
Inspired by Andrea Churchill's Work in Progress: Study of a Mad Golfer. Both the idea AND the title character belong to her. Although I don't own Bessie, I love the character, and I'm honored to come up with this story for her. UGH! Do I HAVE to go up to 100? I'm not sure if I can, or WILL do anything of the sort. I'll do my very best, and I promise that I will actually finish this, whether or not I write 100 "chapters."
Although Andrea gave hers the highest rating, I'm only giving mine a T rating, and I'll do my best to make sure there's nothing "too mature" in here. If there is, PLEASE don't be afraid to tell me.
And one more thing. The only character I own in this chapter is Roy. The rest belong to Andrea and Disney. So anyways, happy reading lads n' lassies!
Strawberry, Part 5
Later that night, Bess tossed and turned in bed as she struggled to fall asleep. Her body was still fatigued and worn out from everything she had experienced earlier that day, yet for whatever reason her brain refused to meet her physical demands and wanted to stay awake instead. She couldn't help but feel that something deep down was troubling her mind still, but she didn't quite know what…or maybe she did know but didn't have the words to explain it.
Do I still need to mourn over Strawberry? she wondered. Is there an emotion that I still need to process? What is going on? Not knowing what else to do with these thoughts swirling in her head, Bess stepped out of bed and walked down to the kitchen to make herself toast with strawberry jam as a late night snack. Much to her surprise however, she found that she wasn't the only one awake as Duff was sitting at the table with a mug of coffee in hand.
"Well, look who's finally crawled out of his cave," Bess remarked.
"Yer naw normally up this late," Duff noted, ignoring his daughter's comment. "Whut're ye doin' up?"
"I couldn't sleep," was all Bess could say. She grabbed some bread out of the pantry, then pulled out two slices from the bag and placed them in the toaster. As she waited for the toast to pop up, she thought more about what could possibly be bothering her still. Had she not done enough crying and grieving? What else was left to release? Surely everything had been resolved by this point, so why was that nagging feeling still there?
"Sooo uh…how wus yer appointment?" Duff asked in an attempt to break the silence.
Bess shrugged. "It was fine."
"Fine? Is tha' all?" Duff asked, raising an eyebrow. "Tha's naw an answer I woul' expect in regards te eh miscarriage. Dye need eh D er anythin'?"
Bess shook her head. "My body was able to flush everything out by itself."
Duff spat out his coffee in utter shock. "Ye flushed oot ev'rythin' awready? And this wus eh natural process?"
"Aye," Bess replied nonchalantly. Once the toast had finished, she grabbed a jar of strawberry jam and a knife, then placed both slices on a plate without bothering to wait for them to cool.
"Och, tha' wus quick!" Duff took another sip from his mug. "Dye a' least collect the tissue like ye wanted?"
For some reason Bess felt as though Duff's question had pricked her chest, but she briefly shook off the feeling and scoffed, "Why do you care if I did?"
"Uhh…cuz I know it wus verra important tye." Duff replied, taken aback by her harsh answer. "Bu' based on yer tone, mah guess is tha' ye dinnae save it?"
"Nah," Bess quickly replied as she spread the jam. "I completely forgot to bring a jar to the doctor's, and I didn't realize I had passed it until–" Bess paused, feeling that same prick again. "until it was too late."
"Och. I-I'm so sorry, dear."
"And why are you sorry?" Bess pointed at Duff with the jam covered knife. "Even if I had collected my bairn's tissue, it's not like I could've done anything with it."
"Whut dye mean?" Duff snapped. "I coul'a done the genetics test on it like ye wanted meh te."
"Well, how was I supposed to know you would? You just walked off without bothering to say anything, so my assumption was that you wouldn't."
"Hey!" Duff slammed his cup on the table and stood up. "I wus in the middle o' processin' mah own thoughts when ye asked meh. How dye think I felt hearing tha' mah own daughter wus losing eh pregnancy I dinnae ev'n know she had? Tha's a lot fur eh parent te take in, ye know!"
"Well, none of it matters anyway," Bess slammed the knife onto her plate, smashing her toast in the process. "Strawberry is long gone, and whether I want it or not, I can't get that scan now."
"Why wus it so important fur ye te hav' eh scan done anyway?"
"Were you even listening, old man?" Bess huffed. "It's because I wanted to know my bairn's gender and why I lost it."
"And whut woul'ye have accomplished wit' tha' information, hmm? It's naw like knowin' the cause woul' magically bring yer wee one back te life!"
"Aye, well…it still would've been nice to know."
"Bu' why?" Duff persisted.
"Because…well, because…" Bess tried to think of an answer, but for whatever reason found it difficult to find the words. "I just wanted to know, okay? Is that so wrong?"
"Well since we'll nev'r know, whut dye think caused yer miscarriage?"
Bess felt Duff's words cut deep into her chest, as though a dagger had just pierced her heart. Why did that question sting so much? Of course she didn't know why the miscarriage happened, but that never stopped her from coming up with a long list of possible causes. That was one of the reasons why she wanted the scan done–to finally put her mind at ease with a straightforward, concrete answer. But now with Strawberry gone, she would never know the true result of the loss…so what did she think caused her to miscarry?
But she felt too scared to think of an answer because…what if it turned out to be true? The more she thought about this, the more anxious she felt, and before she knew it, her tears were releasing themselves from her eyes once more.
"Oh, great…" she muttered.
As he saw his daughter in tears, Duff's demeanor began to soften. "Whut, ye dunnae actually think it wus yet fault, dye?"
Bess took a bite of her toast and turned her eyes away from her father. She was in no mood for another confrontation.
"Elspeth…" Duff walked over and gently placed his hand on Bess's. "Ye do know tha' none o' this wus yet fault, right?"
Bess wiped her eyes with her other hand, still refusing to look at her father. "Aye, I know. Dr. Blair told me so after my ultrasound."
"And dye believe it?" Duff asked.
Bess stayed silent for a moment. To her surprise his question caught her off guard. Even if Dr. Blair assured her and Roy that the miscarriage wasn't anyone's fault, did she actually believe it? As she wondered this, she sensed that nagging feeling creep up again, and it was at that moment she realized:
Is this what has been bothering me this entire time?
"Elspeth," Duff called his daughter out of her thoughts. "I want ye te look a' meh."
Bess took a deep breath and finally turned to face her father.
"Dye believe tha' the miscarriage wusnae yer fault?" Duff reiterated.
As she looked her father in the eye, she knew there was no use holding back her feelings.
"No, no I do not," her voice trembled as more tears spilled from her eyes.
"And why dye naw believe it?" Duff asked.
Bess sighed. "I don't know. Maybe because this all happened as some sort of punishment or karma or something"
"Punishment er karma fur whut?" Duff asked.
"For lots of things!" Bess exclaimed. "For getting pregnant instead of focusing on my studies. The fact that Roy and I weren't married when we conceived. Or…"
"Er…whut?" Duff asked.
Bess found it harder to state this reason out loud, especially as her tears flowed out faster than she could stop them.
"Er whut?" Duff asked again.
"Or…or maybe this happened because I'm a Killigan, and the universal force or…something believes that our bloodline is so horrid that it's decided that I shouldn't have bairns at all and that the line should end with me."
As more tears bursted from her eyes, Duff couldn't help but chuckle to himself.
"Oh, you find this funny, do you?" Bess scowled as she wiped her eyes again.
"Elspeth, dye naw realize tha' ye are the purest soul in the Killigan fam? If the universe were te punish anyone o' us, I'm certain tha' it woul'a been meh, er yer grandfather, yer uncle, er anyone doon te our first ancestor Hondscioh fur the horrible things we've done. Bu' ye?" Duff shook his head. "If any punishment were te be giv'n, I dunno why this so-called 'force' woul' wait this long, er why it woul' direct it a' ye jus' fur conceivin' oot o' wedlock."
"But what other explanation could there be?" Bess asked.
"We'll sadly nev'r know fur certain, bu' jus' remember tha' whutev'r the cause wus, it wus naw ye. Nuthin' ye di' made ye lose yer bairn, an' nuthin' our ancestors di' caused it either. Naw matter how horrid, their actions dunnae curse ye er punish ye in any way."
Bess pulled her hand away from Duff's. "Look Dad, I appreciate the sentiment, but unless I have some sort of answer, I don't know how I can feel better from this, and without the genetics scan…" Bess sighed. "I don't think I will."
Duff shrugged. "I'm sorry tha' I cannae giv' ye the answer yer lookin' fur. The only thing I can advise is fur ye te find some oth'r way te cope wit' yer loss."
"Actually…Abby did suggest planting a strawberry garden or something to commemorate Strawberry's loss. I like the idea, but I don't know if I can do it."
"Why naw?" Duff asked. "If yer fond o' the idea, then do it."
"But how will I be able to tend a garden while at university?" Bess asked. "Edinburgh is rather far from the island, and it's not like I can visit every often to care for it."
"Hmm…tha' is true…" Duff nodded slowly as he took one last sip. "Well, ye go ahead an' finish yer toast. I'm gonna call it eh night." He walked over to the kitchen sink and rinsed his mug.
Bess raised her eyebrow. "Right now? After drinking an entire cup of coffee?"
"Ye dinnae mah sleep schedule," Duff smirked as he made his way up the stairs, but briefly stopped to face his daughter. "Goo'night Elspeth."
"Goodnight Dad," Bess smiled as she took another bite of her toast. She had a feeling that Duff was up to something based on how eager he was to leave, but as to what…she was unsure.
That's tomorrow's problem, she thought. Right now I need to get some sleep. Once she finished both slices of toast, she placed her dishes in the sink and the strawberry jam back in the fridge, then walked up to her room for the night.
Since she was up so late, Bess allowed herself to sleep in later than usual, not getting up until her empty stomach pestered her long enough to find some sustenance. Once she made it to the kitchen, she found a plate of Aberdeen rowies on the table with the jar of strawberry jam on the side; but what had caught her eye was a planter pot painted with red strawberries and green vines placed in the middle, with an envelope labeled BESS placed inside. She opened it and pulled out a note that was sealed inside:
Elsepth ~
We are so sorry for your loss, and we're sorry that you never received the answer you were hoping for. If you would still like to grow strawberries in honour of your wee one, this pot is perfect for planting and for taking to university with you, so your plant will never have to leave your side. (Abigail wanted to practice her painting, so you can thank her for your pot's artistic flair.) I've asked Archie to drive you to the market this afternoon for you to buy soil and strawberry seeds. Be sure to meet him at his house so he can take you. We love you, our darling lass, and we hope that this will help you on your path to healing.
Love,
Dad & Abigail
Bess smiled wide as she read the note. "Oh, so that's what he was up to." This had to be the sweetest thing Duff has ever done for her, as far as she could remember anyway. He was more of a man of action than of words, and she definitely felt his love through his actions. She looked up at the kitchen clock to check the time. It was half past 10:00.
"Och! Did I really sleep for that long?" Bess exclaimed. "I should hurry and start to head out. I hope Archie hasn't been waiting too long for me." Bess quickly spread some jam onto a rowie and scarfed it down. Then she rushed up the stairs and put on the first outfit she spotted in her closet: a pair of leggings and an old T-shirt. Once she was fully dressed, she made her way back downstairs and headed out the castle door–but not before grabbing her pot and a few more jam covered rowies on the way. While waiting for Charlie, she texted Archie that she was making her way to his house, and he immediately responded:
Archie
Okay. I'm actually not home right now, but I'm making my way back. You may just beat me there.
"Huh. I wonder what he's doing out and about," Bess thought out loud as Charlie emerged from the sea. As she was about to climb on, he nosed at a rowie in her hand and whined.
"What? You couldn't find anything to hunt this morning, or are you just mooching off of me?" Bess laughed. Charlie then proceeded to whine even louder, followed by a puppy dog pout.
"Come on now, lad!" Bess groaned. "Don't do that to me!" She tried to look away from Charlie, but his eyes were far too large and far too adorable for her to resist.
"Oh, all right. Here, have at it." She threw the rowie high up in the air and the sea monster successfully caught it in his mouth, then proceeded to lower his neck for his wee mistress to climb on.
As they sailed off, Bess couldn't help but chuckle. "You know Charlie…Dad had you created to be this giant, fearsome beastie to guard our island from enemies and intruders, but I swear you are nothing more than a big, cuddly puppy dog." She gently stroked his head, and she heard him purr back in reply.
Upon arriving at the mainland, as Bess slid off of Charlie, he sniffed all over her for any leftover rowies. He even poked his snout in Bess's pot in hopes of finding more, but she pushed him away.
"No, laddie. There's nothing left for you. If you're still hungry, go on and hunt down a shark or something."
Charlie then placed his head on the shore and started to whine again followed by another puppy dog pout.
Bess rolled her eyes. "Okay, listen. If you stop crying, maybe I can convince Archie to buy a treat for you or something. How does that sound?"
Charlie seemed to understand her words as he stopped whining and perked up, splashing about with excitement.
Bess laughed at the gleeful sea beastie. "All right all right, now you get on out of here before I break my promise, eh?"
Charlie then stopped splashing and submerged himself into the water without giving a second thought.
Bess watched Charlie until her eyes could no longer follow his splashes and ripples in the water, then she made her way to Archie's house. As she got closer, she spotted his pickup truck come down the road and make a right turn towards the driveway.
"Ah. Just in time." Bess began to pick up her pace in an attempt to beat Archie to the driveway, but her body swiftly reminded her of the physical trauma she had endured the day before and the aches she felt forced her to stop and rest. She was only a few feet away from the house when Archie noticed Bess sitting on the ground. He parked the truck, then immediately jumped out and sped over to her side.
"Bess, are you okay?"
"Aye, I'm fine," Bess panted heavily. "I just forgot that my body is still healing from…giving birth, essentially." She felt odd saying it, even if it was technically true.
"Well here, let me help you up." Archie extended his hand out to Bess and pulled her up from the ground.
"Do you need me to help you into the truck as well?" he offered.
"No, I'm fine," Bess assured him. "I'm still sore, but definitely better compared to yesterday."
Archie shrugged. "Okay then. If you're sure." He walked ahead of Bess to meet her at the passenger side of his truck, then opened the door for her.
"Would you like me to hold your pot for you?" Archie asked. "It looks really nice, and I'm sure you'd hate for something to happen to it while you get in."
"Thanks Archie," Bess smiled as she gave him her pot. "And it is nice, isn't it? Abby painted it for me."
Archie's eyes lit up. "Oh, Abby was the one who painted this?" He turned the pot around to look at it from all sides. "Her painting skills are really coming along."
"I know, right? It looks amazing!" she gushed. "I'm impressed that she can take the time to paint." Bess sighed. "I'd love to do some painting again, but my studies have been keeping me busy, and I just haven't found the time or the inspiration to do so."
"You should get back into painting," Archie affirmed. "I still have the paintings you gave me as a child, and I love them."
Bess gave him a smirk. "I don't know why you would keep them, but thanks anyway." Bess pulled herself up to get into Archie's truck, but as she stepped in, she was surprised to find her boyfriend sitting behind the driver's seat holding a planter pot on his lap.
"Roy?" she cried. "What are you doing here?"
He looked at her and simply shrugged. "I don't know. Coming with you to the market, I guess."
"Wait, you are?"
"Hey Bess," Archie called from outside his truck. "I still have your pot whenever you're ready for it."
"Aye, uh…just give me a moment." Bess sat down next to Roy and strapped herself in. "Okay, I'll take it now."
Archie handed the pot back to Bess, closed the passenger door, then made his way to the driver's seat. He turned on the ignition and pulled out of the driveway, staying silent the entire drive.
Bess had SO many questions running through her mind: How did Archie find Roy's address? Did he know that Roy was her boyfriend? He had to have known or else why would he pick him up? Did Duff put him up to this?
"Hey uh, Bess? By any chance did you give your dad my address?" Roy asked as though he had read her mind.
Bess shook her head furiously. "No! No, I did not. I love you too much to do something like that."
"Aye, I figured you didn't, but still. I had to ask just to be sure."
Bess groaned. "I'm so sorry, babe. I have NO idea how he could've found you."
Roy shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine, but I got this text from him this morning." He pulled out his phone and showed Bess the message:
Toy boy -
My daughter wants to plant strawberries to commemorate her loss, and I'm sure she would appreciate it if you did the same since you were the father. I will send my chauffeur over to take you to the market for soil and strawberry seeds, so look out for a red pickup truck. I will have him park several houses away from you, and as such you may want to take your mother's saloon to meet him. Whatever you do, DO NOT tell her where you're going, and if you cooperate, I promise that I will have you return in one piece. But if you so much as muck around or hurt my daughter in any way, let this be a reminder that I know where you and your mother live.
- Duff Killigan
Bess's eyes widened in horror as she read the text. "Oh. So that's what he was up to…"
"Aye, uh…your dad is quite a character, I'll say that much," Roy laughed nervously.
"Oh, you don't know the half of it…"
"I-I'm pretty sure I don't want to know," Roy shuddered.
Bess smirked. "How on earth has my father, the world's deadliest golfer, not scared you away at this point?"
Roy smirked back. "Well, lucky for me, I'm dating you, not Duff Killigan." He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "And hey, at least Archie is nice. He gave me this pot when he picked me up." He held up the pot that was sitting on his lap to show her. Just like hers, it was painted with red strawberries and green vines.
"Oh, wow!" Bess exclaimed. "So Abby painted yours as well as mine?" She held up her own pot for Roy to see. "I'm impressed that she bothered to take time to paint both of them for us."
"Honestly, it's impressive that your father did all of this just for you," Roy commented. "Of course I wish he did so without…tracking down my personal information…but I have to respect a man who's willing to go through all this trouble for his loved ones. If I think you're special, I can't even fathom how highly he thinks of you as his daughter. Based on all of this, there is no doubt in my mind that he cares."
Bess smiled, nodding to herself. "Aye, he does. He certainly has his moments–and I'm not excusing any of his horrible deeds–but I can never say that he doesn't love me. All that he's ever done for me, whether right or wrong, has been out of love, and I've got to give him some credit for that."
She then noticed Roy smiling to himself and holding back laughter.
"What? What's so funny?" Bess asked.
"I'm sorry. I was just thinking that if your dad has this much love for you, I can only imagine how much he would've had for Strawberry. He probably would've been the best grandfather ever for that wee one."
Bess then couldn't help but laugh out loud herself. "Oh I know for a fact that our bairn would have been spoiled rotten by my dad. He'd find a way to grab the moon for Strawberry if he literally could."
Roy snickered. "Well, you know what they say: even the worst parents tend to become the best grandparents."
"Sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds, but we have just arrived at the market," Archie announced from the driver's seat. He drove around until he found a parking spot closest to the entrance, then hopped out and helped both Bess and Roy out of his truck. Once they all walked inside the store, Archie grabbed his wallet from his back pocket and pulled out some cash.
"Now listen here, you two. Mr. Killigan has given me enough money for you to buy one bag of soil and one packet of strawberry seeds. Please try not to spend more than what you have because I don't want Duff coming for my head for spending more than necessary. I'll give you half an hour to find everything you need, but when I call and say it's time to go, then it's time to go. Is that clear?"
Bess nodded. "Aye, Archie. We won't give you any trouble."
"And what about you?" Archie eyed Roy.
Roy looked confused. "What? What about me?"
"I didn't hear you agree to the terms I had set. Bess doesn't have much to lose if she causes trouble, but I certainly cannot guarantee the same for you. I will explain it again: you only spend this cash for strawberry seeds and soil. You only have 30 minutes to find your items, then it's time to leave. No exceptions." Archie looked at Roy straight in the eye. "Now…is that clear?"
"Aye, aye! It's clear," Roy replied.
"Good. I'll just browse around here while you two go find your stuff."
Archie handed the cash over to Bess, then she and Roy walked off to search for the gardening aisle.
"Hey, is it always like this whenever you go out?" Roy whispered in her ear.
"Hey, does your dad hold the title of world's deadliest golfer?" Bess whispered back. "In his mind, there's no such thing as being too careful when it comes to my safety."
Roy shrugged. "Fair enough I guess. Lucky for me that your dad never followed you to university." He slipped his hand into hers, then gave her a wink.
Bess smiled and looked back at Roy with loving eyes, then snuck a kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad he never did."
Roy smiled and kissed her back. "So am I."
Once they finally found the gardening aisle, they looked up and down the shelves for soil until they found a section stacked with bags and bags of different varieties.
"Do you have any idea which one we should get?" Roy asked.
Bess shook her head. "Not a clue. I've never planted anything in my life."
"Neither have I. Which one do you think we should get then?"
"Uh…maybe one that isn't so heavy?" Bess suggested. "Our pots aren't so big, so I don't think we would need a whole lot."
"That's a fair call." As Roy reached up the top shelf to grab one of the smaller bags of soil, Bess decided to walk around the section and look for strawberry seeds. Her eyes soon spotted a rack holding packets of various seeds and she headed right on over to the display.
"Have you found anything, babe?" Roy called as he followed her while hauling a bag over his shoulder.
Her eyes searched up and down the rows until at last, placed in the bottom corner, she spotted a packet of strawberry seeds. "I have!" Bess grabbed one containing 125 seeds and held it up in Roy's direction.
"Splendid!" he smiled with satisfaction when he saw them in her hand. "Should we tell Archie that we've got everything we need?"
"Well…" Bess had a look of mischief on her face. "We still have some time left. Why don't we go get snacks or something?"
Roy looked rather hesitant at Bess's idea. "But…Archie said we should only use the money for gardening materials."
"Oh, he won't mind if we pick up a wee bit of something."
"Um, I'm not so sure."
Bess shrugged. "Suit yourself, but I'm going to look for something delicious." She made her way towards the snack aisle with Roy slowly following behind her and looked at all of the various choices. After searching all the shelves top to bottom, she noticed one containing boxes of spark rocks of all different flavors…but the only flavor that caught her eye was, of course, strawberry.
"Are you sure that's what you want, babe?" Roy asked.
"Oh, aye!" she exclaimed with glee. "These sweets were my favorite as a wee lass. Are you sure you don't want me to grab you one?"
Roy shook his head furiously. "Nope. I'm just fine."
Bess couldn't resist smiling to herself. "I'm telling you luv, you don't know what you're missing."
She grabbed herself a few boxes when her phone began to ring. Recognizing the ringtone, she answered it immediately.
"Hey, we've got everything we came for and are about to find a self checkout spot to ring up our stuff."
"Sounds great!" Archie replied on the other line. "I appreciate you both being on top of things."
"Of course Archie. Feel free to come and look for us. We'll save a spot for you." Bess hung up the phone as she and Roy walked to the end of the checkout queue. Archie caught up with them just as they were approaching the next available self check kiosk and when he saw the boxes of strawberry flavored spark rocks in her arms, he began to look worried.
"Uhh Bess…do you really need those?"
"What's the big deal?" Bess asked. "They're just sweets, aren't they?"
"Yeah but…I don't know if your dad would be okay with this. He gave me the cash specifically for gardening tools, and I really don't want to get on his bad side if I can't pay for it all."
"I'm sure it'll be fine Archie," she assured him. "Dad won't mind if I grab something for myself."
She and Roy started scanning all of their items, including the spark rocks, and placed them in the bagging area. Once they had finished and the screen flashed the total price number, Bess noticed Archie looking pale and white. She then placed all of the money into the machine, and then understood why he looked so anxious: all of the cash she just inserted wasn't enough to pay for their groceries, which made her feel guilty.
Maybe I didn't need the spark rocks after all. Should I just take them and put them back so we can pay for everything else?
Before she could take any action though, she saw Archie take his wallet out of his pocket and grab for his credit card, but Roy put his hand out to stop him.
"Hold on. I think I've got some cash on me." He pulled out a note from his pocket and placed it into the kiosk. The amount was more than enough to pay for the items, and the machine spat out the receipt and the exact change. Roy then ripped out the receipt and took the cash, then handed both to Archie. "Hope this helps you stay in good graces with Mr. Killigan."
Impressed with Roy's generosity, Archie gave him a warm smile. "You know…I always had a good feeling about you."
"Back off you! He's all mine!" Bess teased as she tightly held onto Roy's arm.
"Oh Bess, please!" Archie laughed as he grabbed the groceries. "He's much too young for me." He handed Bess her spark rocks and gave her a quick wink. "You keep him and don't let go."
Bess smirked as she placed her free hand into Roy's. "Oh, he's never leaving my sight."
She and Roy walked out of the market hand in hand with Archie following closely behind until they made it to the parking lot. As Archie unlocked his truck, Roy beat him to the door and opened it for Bess to climb in, then followed suit behind her and sat down next to her. As he started to wrap his arm around her shoulder, Bess reached into her bag for a box of spark rocks and waved it in Roy's face.
"Last chance for you to claim one before they're gone."
Roy smiled at her in amusement. "No, it's okay. It looks like you really like them, so you go ahead and take them all."
"Are you sure about that, babe?" she asked. "I wouldn't want you to miss out."
Roy nodded. "Aye, I'm sure. I'll be fine, I promise."
Bess shrugged. "If you say so." She opened the packaging and poured all of the spark rocks into her mouth, finishing the entire box just as Archie pulled out of the parking lot to drive back to his house.
"Och, you ate that fast!" Roy exclaimed as he watched her wolf down the candy.
"I told you they were my favorite," Bess snickered in between bites. "Did you not believe me?"
"If I didn't I do now…but is that all you're going to eat?" he teased. "You acted as though one box wasn't enough!"
"Why do you think I bought more than one?" she laughed. "I plan on eating the rest on my way back to the castle."
"Well…at least you're pacing yourself?"
Bess rolled her eyes and smirked at Roy. "I appreciate your deep concern for me, dear."
"Hey, I do what I can," Roy smirked back, then leaned forward and kissed her. "Your breath smells like fried strawberries."
"And is that such a bad thing?"
Roy shook his head. "No. Just interesting."
Bess batted her eyes. "You know…you didn't have to kiss me to find that out."
"I think I still would've preferred your lips either way," Roy smiled affectionately.
He and Bess both leaned forward to kiss again, but Archie's wide turn into the driveway jostled them around and threw them off balance, missing each other's lips completely. Once the truck was parked and the ignition was turned off, Archie briefly turned from his seat to face the passengers in the back.
"Are you kids ready to plant some seeds today?"
Bess didn't know if the spark rocks were finally starting to settle, but she felt her stomach churn a wee bit. "I-I think so."
"All right. Let's get to it then."
As Bess and Roy grabbed their pots and seeds, Archie walked ahead to unlock and open the door to his house.
"You two go on and set everything on the table. I just need to get the soil from the truck."
They both walked inside and placed their things in the kitchen, then sat at the table until Archie came in with the grocery bag carrying the soil. He sat it in the middle of the table among everything else, then he stretched his arms and yawned.
"Well, it's already been a long day for me. Mr. Killigan has pretty much given me the day off to assist you both in your gardening endeavors, so I'll just be relaxing in my room if either of you need me…but let me know when you're done so that I can take Roy home."
Roy nodded. "Will do. Thanks Archie."
As Archie made his way to his room, Roy and Bess stood up from their chairs and looked at the back of the packet for instructions on how to plant the seeds. The directions recommended sowing 8 to 10 seeds into a well draining potting mix, so Roy opened the bag of soil while Bess looked for a spoon to scoop the soil into their pots. Once they were filled, Roy tore open the packet, poured some seeds into his pot, then watered the soil. Bess however, just stared at the empty soil in her own pot. She felt her stomach churning again and her heart starting to pound hard against her chest. Roy took notice of this and reached for her hand.
"Are you feeling alright, luv?"
"Truthfully…I don't know," she answered while tightly squeezing his hand.
"What is it?" he asked. "What's troubling you?"
Bess was silent for a while, then she took a deep breath. "I-I guess it's just hitting me that this is actually happening."
"That…what is happening? Planting strawberries?"
"I mean acknowledging Strawberry. I know I wanted to do this as a tribute, but in a way…it feels like we're laying our bairn down to rest rather than simply planting strawberries. That was not at all what I was expecting to feel, and it frightens me."
"Huh. That's an interesting thought," Roy commented. "But why does it frighten you?"
Bess thought for a moment. "I guess it's because…it's all starting to feel real, if that makes sense, like we're burying an actual bairn."
"That's because Strawberry is an actual bairn," Roy affirmed. "Just because our wee one was never born, that doesn't make him or her any less of a bairn. We loved and accepted Strawberry the moment we knew you were pregnant; and it doesn't matter how short the pregnancy was or how far along you were, Strawberry deserves to be memorialized as our child…and not only that, our beloved child."
"But are you sure it isn't weird for me to think of planting seeds as some sort of burial for Strawberry?" Bess asked.
"Absolutely not," Roy assured her. "There's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed for thinking of it that way. If anything, treating it like a burial may help you receive closure for this loss…but I'm no therapist, so I can't say for certain."
Bess breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled at Roy. As she did so she felt her stomach beginning to settle as well as her heart slowing down its intense beating. Whatever did she do to deserve to have Roy in her life? If he was this amazing as a boyfriend, there was no doubt in her mind that he would've been an amazing father to Strawberry had she carried to full term. It just made her sad to think that she would never witness that for herself.
"Are you feeling okay now?" Roy asked.
Bess smiled and nodded. "I am…and I think I'm ready to start planting now."
Roy softly kissed her hand. "Well let's get started, shall we?"
He helped pour out eight seeds onto Bess's palm, and with one finger, she dug a small hole into the soil, then carefully picked up a seed with two fingers. As she was about to place it in the dirt, a thought came to her mind:
"I know this is going to sound odd, but I feel that I should say something to Strawberry as I plant each seed."
Roy gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "Do whatever you need to help you process this, and don't feel like you need to rush. You've got plenty of time."
"But there's so much I want to say. Where would I even begin?" she asked.
"Is there something you really want Strawberry to hear from you?" Roy asked. "Why don't you start with that and go from there? And if you still don't know right now, like I said, take your time."
Bess took a moment to gather all of her thoughts. If Strawberry was around right now, what would her wee one want to hear? As she held the tiny seed in between her fingers, she envisioned herself looking at her bairn's face, and with tears in her eyes, she knew exactly what she should say.
"Wee Strawberry, I'm sorry that your father and I conceived you when it was not our intention to do so. That was foolish of us, and unfair to you. Even so, I was excited to one day meet you and raise you as your mother. No matter where you are now, in my heart you will always be my bairn." She dropped the seed into the soil, then picked up another from her palm and held it at eye level to speak to it.
"I'm also sorry that I couldn't save your life. My doctor told me that I did nothing to cause your loss, and there was nothing that could've been done to prevent it; but it's a mother's responsibility to protect her own, and even if it wasn't my fault, I still feel that I failed to do what I was supposed to and protect you from harm. Just know that if there was any way to save your life and keep you here, I would NOT hesitate to take that chance." Bess proceeded to place that seed in the pot and then continued with each remaining seed.
"I'm sorry that your comfy home that was my womb had flushed you out. That did not make me look like a good hostess, did it? But I hope you know that if I had full control, I would have let you stay until you were ready to come out, no exceptions."
"I'm also sorry that I didn't catch you in the Kilner jar and that I flushed your body down the toilet. It was stupid of me to not remember to bring it to my doctor's appointment. Seeing you go down the pipes was not how I wanted to say goodbye."
"And because I never caught you, I'm sorry that I never got to find out how or why you stopped growing. Had I known what was wrong, perhaps I could've sought out possible treatments so that your wee body could grow and function properly."
"I'm deeply sorry that I never got to learn your identity or give you a proper name. No one deserves to go out nameless, even someone as small as you, my wee Strawberry. I certainly hope you don't mind the nickname your father and I gave you. I know it's not the same as an actual legal name, but it's still precious to us."
"I'm sorry I never got to hold you or see your face before losing you. I don't care how small you were, I wanted to hold you so, so very much, but even if my arms never had the chance to hold you close, my heart will hold onto you forever…and never let go. I'll always wonder how you would've looked, what color your hair or your eyes would have been. Of course none of that matters because I will never know, but I will always envision you as a beautiful, perfect wee angel because I know you were one from the start."
Bess picked up the final seed from her hand and felt herself shaking as she held it up, being extra careful not to drop the wee seed. Her tears were also bursting through even harder, which made it difficult for her to find her words, but she knew that she couldn't stop. She had to keep going for wee Strawberry, even if whatever came out of her mouth didn't sound eloquent.
"Lastly, I'm sorry I never got to tell you that I love you. As surprising as your arrival was, you were wanted from the start, and I was ready to welcome you into our fam. I don't know if I was ever worthy to be called your mother, but whether or not I was does not change the fact that you've left an impact on me during your short time here." Bess felt herself trembling even more as she struggled to voice the last of her thoughts, but she continued to push on. "Though I can't tell you to your face, I will say this now in hopes that somehow this will get to you: I love you my sweet Strawberry, and I always will, forever and ever."
Bess planted the last seed among the others, and after double checking her palm that no more seeds were left, she wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. Finally, she watered every corner of the soil until she was certain that no speck was left dry. Once she had finished, she looked at her newly filled pot and released a long, satisfied sigh from her lungs.
"I take it you feel better then?" Roy asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.
Bess smiled. "I do. I really do." She placed her hand on Roy's and looked up at him. "Are you ready for Archie to take you home?"
"If we're both done planting, then I suppose I am," Roy replied.
Bess texted Archie a picture of their pots to let him know they were done and that Roy was ready to go home. After waiting a minute or two, Archie walked into the kitchen and gave Bess a confused look.
"Why did you send me a text? I was just across the hall, and you know I would've come out if you had just knocked on my door."
Bess shrugged. "I just thought it was easier to text. Is that a bad thing?"
"I-I suppose not. I don't know, I guess I'm used to my folks getting mad at us if we ever texted or called them while in the same general area as them." Archie then smirked. "But hey, maybe I'm just getting old, huh?"
"Ha! Just maybe?" Bess quipped back.
Archie playfully rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah you all can mock my age another time…but if we wait any longer, Roy's mother will start to worry and ask questions, and that's the last thing Mr. Killigan wants right now."
"Well, he's not the one that has to face her wrath," Roy remarked.
"Even so I'd rather not deal with a man who can literally make my head explode, especially not on my day off."
"Okay, that's fair." Roy grabbed his pot while Bess picked up her own pot as well as the remaining boxes of spark rocks. She then noticed the seed packet and the opened bag of soil on the table.
"Hey, Archie?" Bess called. "Do you want to use the rest of these strawberry seeds? I'd hate for them to go to waste."
"Uhh…maybe?" he replied. "I don't know if I have a spot to plant a garden, so if I can't use them, I'll see if either Abigail or your dad will want them."
"Thanks, Archie. I appreciate it."
He nodded. "Sure thing, Bess." He then led her and Roy out of the house and opened the passenger door for Roy, but before climbing in, he set his pot down and embraced Bess one last time.
"Is it okay if I still call you everyday?" he asked. "Even with your dad around?"
Bess rolled her eyes as she embraced him in return. "Oh, he won't even notice with all the time he spends in his lab, so aye, still call me, please."
Roy smiled. "Will do. A summer holiday spent without you is a holiday wasted."
"I'm glad you can say that, babe." Bess lovingly smiled at Roy and kissed him. "I love you so much."
Roy kissed her back and gently squeezed her. "And I love you." They both finally released their grip from one another, then Roy picked up his pot from the ground and stepped into the truck. Bess stood by the house as Archie backed out and drove off. Her eyes followed the truck's path until it was so far away that it was nothing more than a red speck zooming down the road. She then picked up her things and walked back down to shore to wait for Charlie's arrival. She began to feel peckish while sitting in the sand, so she opened one of her spark rocks to munch on. As she did so, she spotted Charlie's large scaly head pop up out of the water from a distance. He lifted his nose up to sniff the air, then when he pointed in her direction, he sped towards her like a missile with an excited expression on his face.
"I should've known that would get you coming, laddie," Bess laughed. "Okay, open up now. Here's your treat like I promised." Charlie gleefully opened his large mouth as Bess poured all of the spark rocks onto his tongue. He swallowed the candy in one gulp and howled with delight…or was it from the candy's shock? She couldn't tell for certain, but either way the sea beastie seemed to enjoy his sweet goodie.
Once Charlie's excitement wore off and he was able to calm himself, Bess climbed onto his head and carefully sat herself, her last box of spark rocks, and her pot down for the voyage. As he swam off, she took the opportunity to finish off her spark rocks since Charlie would be too focused to beg for more from her. After licking her hands clean, she looked down at her pot and held it close to her heart.
"Even if there was nothing I could have done to save my bairn's life, I owe it to wee Strawberry to make sure that this plant flourishes…no matter what." Bess held her pot even tighter as more tears streamed down her face. "Strawberry, if you can hear me right now, I promise you that despite my lack of planting skills, I will do everything within my power to make sure that healthy, red and juicy strawberries are grown from this pot because so help me, I will not fail at this."