AHOY TATERS! After reading some gamer fics I decided to try to write my own, where a RUTHLESS! Commander Shepherd who is the butcher of Torfan becomes The Gamer and travels the multiverse.
This will be a harem story and have lots of fusion universes. As I like to fuse many different shows together to form a new universe.
Anyways onto the chapter!
A fish tank not unlike one would see at an aquarium lit up a luxurious room decorated with displays of miniature spaceships on a shelf, below it, a short set of steps led to a double pillowed king size bed in which lay a man in his mid to late twenties.
Said man was Caucasian with a balding head, what little hair remained was a blazing red that made it look like the sides of his head was on fire. In contrast, on his face was a beard that shone as if it was crafted from sunlight, the blonde beard grew from his sideburns to his upper lip and terminated at his chin.
Under the covers, the man slept, his breath steady, only for him to be awoken by the crackling of his ship's intercom and a familiar Joker's voice. "Uhhh, Captain, I'm sorry to disturb you but we have a situation, I think you should check it out. And I mean really soon too because this shit isn't normal."
The man flinched before his eyes shot open and he growled. "Joker…" his eyes glittered like purple and blue jewels making them beautiful despite the instinctive irritation in them.
Mr. Krabs Shepherd was many things, N7, the first Human Specter, savior of The Citadel and his personal favorite The Butcher Of Torfan. He was not a patient or forgiving man, but he did cherish what few bonds he had.
As he sat up in bed and popped his back, he groaned. "I guess I'll give Joker a chance before I yell at him."
And then a message popped up in his vision, not on his Omni-tool which he wore to bed with him but in front of his very eyes.
"Welcome Mr Krabs Shepherd!
Class Vanguard
Level 27!
666 HP!
STR 22!
INT 22!
WIS 7!
LUK 21!
DEX 16!
You have just slept and recovered all HP and MP!"
The balding redheads frown deepened. "This must be some idiot Cerberus flunky's idea of a prank. I'm going to give Miranda a piece of my mind."
{BREAK}
The Butcher of Torfan was now dressed in his black leather N7 Jacket over a white shirt and black pants, the skin tight leather-like clothing hugging his muscles and scars like a glove and making many a female crewmember blush while trying (and failing) to keep their eyes off his form as he stomped to the Communications room.
The balding but youthful man with visible irritation rubbed the purple gems that were his eyes. "Fuck, I was in such a hurry I forgot to get coffee to wake myself up. I've gotta stop relying on anger alone to fuel me. One of these days it's going to give me a heart attack."
It wasn't long before he made it to the same room where he usually talked to The Illusive Man. The room was semi dark, its silver walls obscured in shadows and lit up like a night light by the blue glow of EDI's spherical holographic projection which grew above the middle of the rectangular table in the room, like an oak tree rising from a sinkhole.
Around the table were gathered the top brass of The Normandy SR2. Miranda Lawson, a Caucasian woman with a waterfall of raven black hair, her body built like a Playboy model and little to obscure it under her white catsuit.
Like him, she was a powerful biotic, Mr. Krabs Shepherd had to admit that Miranda was attractive. He just didn't like her almost blind loyalty towards Cerberus, an organization that claimed to have Humanity's best interests at heart but, in the end, had hurt humanity.
Shepherd knew just how lowly The Council races thought of Humanity, that The Council races thought of his people as arrogant upstarts who needed to be put in their place. That the Turians were still angry as ever from The Alliance not taking it without lube during the first contact war.
Why else would The Turians spread misinformation that made more than half of Citadel citizens think that humans fired the first shot? Turians were the textbook definition of a sore winner.
Mr. Krabs Shepherd knew that something like Cerberus was needed for Humanity, he just wished they would hurt less humans. With that in mind he set his eyes on Jacob Taylor, a tall muscled out African American man with a beard on his face.
Like him and Miranda, Jacob was a biotic and Jacob was a member of Cerberus though unlike Miranda, Jacob was a former Alliance marine so he and Shepherd had common ground.
Next, his eyes laid on a beautiful woman who despite being over a thousand years old didn't look a day over thirty. She had blue skin and no hair, and seemed to glow with a purple blue radiance. Her cleavage almost lit up the room with how it shone through her skintight red leotard armor. She was the Justicar he recruited, Samara.
Next, was a Quarian. One who he had befriended two years ago when he had first become a specter and set out on his hunt for Saren. As his purple eyes swept across her skin tight black and purple bodysuit, taking in how it hugged her hips, hourglass figure and breasts. The Butcher of Torfan felt his stone cold heart warm just a little and skip a beat.
His eyes became professional again as they set onto who he considered the only good Turian in existence. Garrus Vakarian. The Avian-like alien's face was covered in scars from their battle on Omega but Shepherd was confident that Garrus would have no trouble finding a lady friend regardless.
"Skill unlocked: observation!"
The pop up in his vision made The Butcher Of Torfan narrow his eyes. "Goddamn Cerberus flunkies." He muttered like a snake gritting his teeth.
His muttering made Miranda raise a brow, but she didn't say anything in return.
Without bothering to lay eyes on the other prominent crew members, The Butcher Of Torfan zeroed his gaze on Miranda like a hawk and demanded. "Miranda, you must have slipped up when Cerberus brought me back to life or you have an inner child I didn't know about."
The aforementioned Cerberus operative frowned and replied in an Australian accent that was calm and laced with skepticism. "I assure you Commander, I never slip up. Are you feeling unwell? Any cramps, muscle spasms or itching caused by your cybernetics?"
As another pop-up appeared in Shepherd's vision the latter grumpily shook his head. "No, I keep on getting these pop ups as if I'm in some kind of video game. Right now, I just got a pop up that says you're a level twenty four with four hundred and fifty four health, fifteen strength and a few other stats."
Jacob spoke his voice hesitant like a cat trying to suppress a yawn. "It sounds like you didn't get enough sleep commander, you could be seeing things."
The balding red head man opened his mouth to give a harsh retort when Miranda spoke. "No, we shouldn't discount the possibility that someone working on Project Lazarus sabotaged Shepherd's cybernetics. Even if it was in such a juvenile way. I recall a few people who didn't like my management and might have wanted revenge."
Shepherd shrugged. "Great, you pissed off a Cerberus flunky and I suffer the consequences."
It was then that a salmon pink lizard-like creature with a broken horn spoke up. "I'll be more than happy to check you out for any defaults in your cybernetics, Commander, but I think we're getting off topic. The ship's AI mentioned an anomaly."
As if summoned by his voice, a sapphire translucent sphere materialized in the middle of the table and spoke in a synthesized feminine voice. "That is correct Dr. Solus. We are not where we should be."
Before anyone could comment the translucent sapphire sphere vanished and quicker than a bullet a new sphere appeared, one that looked like a planet with a single continent circling it like a collar, and had hundreds if not thousands of islands dotting it like half a dozen teenagers with really bad acne.
All the land was brown and green like beef stew mixed with raw sewage and the giant oceans that covered the world reminded the viewers of various species' vomit.
Shepherd was the first to recover, his voice accusing. "EDI are you malfunctioning? Did you take us to the wrong relay? This isn't Tuchanka, though I admit with how ugly this world is it could give Tuchanka a run for its money in losing a beauty contest."
A tan lizard built like a gorilla mixed with Sylvester stalone, his head with a dinosaur-like crest roared and kicked the table twice producing a loud THUNK. "Stupid ship! I need to see my people on Tuchanka to find out what's wrong with meeee!!"
Shepherd pinched the bridge of his nose. "Calm down Grunt, we'll get you to Tuchanka I promise."
It was then the synthesized voice spoke again. "You don't understand, I detect no mass relays within the next eight systems. And I ran ten self diagnostics before I called you. The Relay that was supposed to take us to Tuchanka took us to a planet that isn't close to any Mass Relays."
The almost synthetic-like accented voice of Tali'zorah was the next to speak. "The AI is right Shepherd, this is an anomaly. Mass Relays shouldn't be able to transport us to a planet that is nowhere near any mass relays. This is unprecedented and very concerning." The Quarian fidgeted entwining her three fingered hands together nervously, gradually increasing the pace at which her three fingered hands intertwined as she got more nervous.
The Butcher Of Torfan glared at the holographic planet on the table as if it personally insulted his mother. "Great, I love bad news. We're stranded and probably won't reach Council space in years."
A voice that sounded like Samuel L. Jackson and Patrick Star from SpongeBob talking at the same time then echoed throughout the room. "Mwahahahaha!"
Instantly all the occupants went on high alert, anybody who could retrieved a gun and aimed it.
"Was that the Intercom?" Questioned Jacob in a frazzled voice. "This isn't the time to be fucking with us Joker!" He demanded angrily.
Samara, covered in a biotic aura shook her head. "No, it came from this very room. They are-"
A splash of smoke and a shower of confetti like one would see in a magic show, appeared behind Shepherd. The Butcher didn't miss a beat and swung his fist towards whoever dared to sneak up on him.
"Ouch sweet liberty I've been hit!" Cried out the same voice that was a combination between Samuel L. Jackson and Patrick Star, when Shepherd's fist struck the face of a being that looked like a giant starfish with African American skin and Samuel L. Jackson's face, and who wore Bermuda shorts.
Jacob Taylor raised both his brows. "What… the… hell."
Miranda aimed her gun square on the odd being, a stern frown on her face. "Be careful Shepherd, this alien isn't in any of Cerberus' databases!"
Ignoring his XO, The balding redhead bent down and grabbed the Samuel L. Jackson Starfish fusion by the throat and hauled it to its feet none too gently. "Talk. Now! How did you get on my ship. Do you have anything to do with us ending up here?"
Weirdly instead of being afraid, the African American Starfish hybrid grinned a grin that was like that of a child meeting their hero, and The Butcher's heart dropped. ' Oh great, an alien version of Conrad Verner. Just what I wanted.'
The alien fired off a hasty military salute and held it for twenty two seconds. "Hello Commander Mr Krabs Shepherd! I am your biggest fan! Well maybe your second biggest fan after Conrad Verner but that's not important right now. What is important is that I kidnapped you and your crew and brought you to an alternate universe-"
Smack* The sound of a metal coated hand hitting flesh salted the air of the comms room when Shepherd slapped the alien. " Hold up, you kidnapped us and brought us to another universe." The Butcher of Torfan's voice was flat yet laced with one or two nails of irritation.
Despite being choked the alien had no difficulty speaking and nodded his head eagerly, the smile never leaving his face. "Yes yes! And I'm the reason why you're getting all those pop ups too! You see I gave you a super power called The Gamer. It makes your life like a video game! You can now see the stats of both allies and enemies as well as gain new skills by defeating enemies and level up Everytime you push yourself!"
The balding Red Head threw the strange over eager alien to the floor but didn't give it any relief this time applying his boot to its throat while pulling out a gun and aiming it between its eyes. "You kidnapped us and used me as a labrat. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't empty a thermal clip between your eyes?"
The alien chuckled which only made the veins on Shepherd's head throb and his trigger finger itch. Nonetheless the alien answered with excitement. "Because it wouldn't work! I'm a multiverse god! We can't be killed by something as simple as bullets!"
As if to prove it's point, the alien vanished, Shepherd's boot landing on the floor with a hard THUD where the alien used to be. Mere moments later the alien reappeared in front of Shepherd and planted a kiss on Shepherd's gun, going as far as to stick its tongue in the barrel.
Jacob raised both his brows. "Is that thing seriously-!?" Before he could finish and just as Shepherd pulled the trigger, the gun in Shepherd's hands turned into a dark red ice cream and fell apart in his hands.
Licking his lips, the alien chuckled. "Batarian Blood Ice cream. Shepherd's favorite."
The Butcher upon seeing the strange looks his crew were giving him flipped them off. "Yes I hate Batarians, that's why I would sooner eat my own legs than them." Right afterwards Shepherd shoved the batarian blood ice cream in his hand into the alien's face. "Here, take your disgusting ice cream and tell us why you're doing this, you freak."
Like a cartoon, the alien's tongue stretched to three feet long and thick as strawberry taffy as it eagerly slurped the bloody ice cream off his face. "Gladly." He held up a thumbs up. "At your current level you aren't strong enough to defeat The Reapers. Hell you're not even strong enough to defeat The Collectors at your current level."
An aura akin to a dozen static shocks mixed with smoke from a forest fire began to fill the room as Shepherd grit his teeth. The various squadmates in the room shifted uncomfortably as the aura tickled and stung their nerves and made the hair on their necks stand up.
"Are you calling us weak? Are you calling ME weak?" The Butcher's voice was like stone grinding against stone.
The alien made finger guns at The Butcher, the grin never leaving its face. "This is why you're my favorite version of Shepherd. You're the most badass, never back down, win at all costs version of you I've ever found in the multiverse. And I love you for it."
Miranda's eyes widened. "Hold on, are you saying there are other versions of Shepherd in the mul-"
"Ninety seven percent of your counterparts are paragon wet blankets. You're one of the three percent of Commander Shepherd's who are willing to do whatever it takes to defeat your enemies whether they be Batarians, Saren, The Collectors, and the Reapers. And especially if they're Batarians the filthy four eyed fuckers!"
The alien slicked back its conical head and made another finger guns gesture. "That's why I gave you the power of The Gamer, that's why I'm sending you Mr. Krabs Shepherd, The Butcher of Torfan on this multiverse quest."
"With my help you will travel the multiverse, slaying powerful enemies and gaining their powers. You will become strong enough so that no one in your home universe can stand against you-"
The alien placed its fists on its hips, leaned forward and gave a conspiratorial wink. "Or humanity."
The Alien knew it not only had Shepherd but Miranda too when he saw them lower their guns with the ease of freshly greased bike pedals, their facial expressions loosening up like freshly made squishy mozzarella, the alien could see the two running the possibilities of how this could benefit humanity in their heads.
It was then that the Justicar spoke up. "Commander, I must caution against this action, this alien has proven to be extremely powerful, possibly more so than the reapers. Why would it care about humanity? It could just be playing with us as a form of entertainment."
The alien made finger guns at Samara as it chuckled. "Oh ho, Samara, always the buzz kill! I guess I would be a buzzkill too if all my children were born with birth defects!"
The alien's shit eating grin never left its face even as Samara's biotic aura flared dangerously, making the floor shatter within three feet of her.
"Stand down Samara." Ordered Shepherd, his tone like that of an officer scolding a private. The Justicar kept her glare up for ten more seconds before she closed her eyes and inhaled, her biotic aura dissipating.
The Alien addressed Commander Shepherd again. "Now that the Asari's dick measuring contest is out of the way. I'll admit this is twenty five percent for entertainment. But the rest is because I genuinely care about humanity and that is because I used to be human myself before I ascended."
This statement created more questions, as several crew members wondered how if the alien used to be human he could have ascended to this god-like state. The Butcher turned a glare on his crew. "Don't say another damn thing, let me do the talking."
The Commander's voice was like a bull that had become a drill sergeant and had caught a cold, it silenced the crew. With that accomplished he turned his attention back to the alien. "So, what's my first step to acquiring new skills?"
The alien made finger guns three times at Shepherd. "I'm glad you asked, here's a quest."
A green square pop up appeared in Shepherd's vision with a Ping sound.
"New Quest: Save Gorgonzola Emerald City: Gorgonzola Emerald City is under attack By Joker and his confetti psycho raiders, you must head to Gorgonzola Emerald City in the Radioactive ruins of Cheese Town on Cheese Island and save it.
Rewards. 600 XP for killing Joker.
250 XP for killing Bane.
250 XP for killing Fire fly.
80 XP for every raider flunky killed.
80 XP for every civilian saved.
New skills!
Accept quest? Yes/No."
The Butcher furrowed his brows. 'This power really is a videogame' he thought before he mentally commanded his power to accept the quest. Upon which the first pop up closed and a new one appeared with a second ping.
"Do you want to form a party? You can bring two squadmates on your party. Yes/No."
'I usually bring two squadmates along on Missions anyways,' shrugged Shepherd mentally as he accepted the party option and selected Tali and Grunt to be a part of his party.
The Quarian muttered. "Keelah, now I'm seeing things. Did my suit spring a leak or did you really add me to your party Shepherd?"
Grunt growled and punched at the air with irritation. "It's annoying and stupid, take me out of your party, Shepherd!"
The balding Red Head turned to face his two squadmates and spoke. "Tali I want you to come with me to this new world because I trust you, you were with me from the beginning. You helped me take down The Thorian with Wrex so this will be just like old times."
His tone was nostalgic when addressing Tali before he turned to address Grunt, his tone becoming like that of a parent explaining things to a kindergarten child. "Grunt, you said you wanted to fight didn't you? I don't think we'll be going to Tuchanka anytime soon so this is your chance to fight here, in a brand new world that no Krogan has ever fought before. You'll be the first Krogan to claim kills in the world below."
The perfect specimen of Kroganhood paused, giving a gesture that made it look like he was biting his lip before he bashed his fists together. "Alright Shepherd, lead our path to victory!"
{BREAK}
Mr Krabs Shepherd was now dressed in a pink and purple camouflage armor with hints of blood red on the back and gloves, his face was hidden by a mouth less recon hood with a glowing blue visor.
On his back was a sniper rifle that glowed red on its side as well as a grenade launcher, and a carnifex pistol. The commander sat on a seat with Tali on his left and Grunt on his right as the Alliance silver and blue shuttle they were on rocked gently but firmly as it descended into the planet's puke colored atmosphere.
"Beeeep!! Warning this planet has extremely high levels of radiation that can cause cancer and-"
"Silence VI, We already know." Barked Shepherd.
Tali chuckled. "Shepherd, only you can pull off the tough guy look in that ridiculous armor."
The Butcher let out his own chuckle. "My dad used to say, Tough guys wear pink, he wore a shirt that said it too. I'm just living up to his principles."
The Quarian paused as her eyes looked down. ' Shepherd… you lost your family when you were a kid. You hardly speak of them beyond that, but their deaths obviously played a huge role in what you became.'
The shuttle gave a lurch as if a thirty foot toddler slapped it, producing a sound akin to a car bumping into a wall as it landed. The Commander immediately stood up. "Alright, we're the first from our universe to set foot on this world. A world which experienced a nuclear Holocaust over two hundred years ago. Our landing zone is full of radioactive moldy cheese so for the love of God don't breathe through your nose.
Besides that we achieve victory over this bastard who stole our friend's name by any means necessary. Are you ready?"
Tali suppressed a giggle at how Shepherd described the leader of the raiders, feeling her heart flutter as it soaked up the menace and collected aura of the man in front of her. ' He's so in control, he knows that we're going into a world where people have unfamiliar powers and unfamiliar races but he's not the least put off. His confidence is contagious.'
"You can count on me Shepherd."
Grunt grunted "Let's kill some monsters or something already."
With that the trio stepped out of the shuttle and were greeted with the ruins of a city unlike any they had ever seen in their previous travels.
There were buildings that looked like giant jars of spoiled and curdled milk that were weeks past their expiration date, some of the jars of milk-like buildings had cracked open and spilled their contents onto the barren, dry as dust brown soil.
Another building looked like a carton of giant burnt French fries, three of them broken in half and the carton itself ripped down the middle.
Four other buildings looked like triple cheese burgers that had been left out in the summer sun for a week and then had their top buns flambeed.
The smell of moldy sour cheese, moldy curdled milk and burnt food all mixed together hit Tali like a skycar piloted by a drunk driver. "Keelah! What did these bosh'tets do to their world? Why are these ruins made of expired food? Who makes their cities out of food?"
Mr Krabs Shepherd was careful to hold his breath and took in the city and a new pop up appeared in his vision.
"Codex unlocked: Cheese town history! Would you like to read? Yes/No."
The Butcher mentally clicked no. "I told you not to breathe through your nose, Tali." Although he tried to sound reprimanding it was obvious that he was holding back a chuckle at Tali's expense.
"This place…" Grunt's reptilian eyes widened and his mouth opened wide almost like a turtle trying to roar at an over eager kid as he inhaled the air. "It's so much like Tuchanka, radioactive rubble, radiation and the ruins of civilization everywhere I look. It's…" He took another deep inhale and exhaled. "Glorious. This planet will do… for now."
Shepherd unholstered his sniper rifle. "Follow me, we're moving out."
The Gravel crunched to a tune of a prodigy playing a piano as the trio marched towards the location marked on their shared HUD. It was a mere five minutes later that they came up on what looked like a baseball stadium with its walls made of moldy cheddar cheese and its ceiling made out of blackened dried up pizza that looked like delivered pizza that had been put in the oven for four hours.
"A baseball stadium, made out of cheese? Is this-" before Shepherd could finish a new pop up appeared in his vision and by extent Tali and Grunt's vision.
"Codex Unlocked: Gorgonzola Emerald City! Would you like to read? Yes/No."
"Shepherd, can you turn that damn thing off?" Grunted Grunt. "It won't let me punch the damn no!" Grunt said while punching seemingly empty air.
Shepherd shook his head and chuckled as he clicked the no. "I know it's annoying Grunt, but you're going to have to suffer with me as long as you're a part of my Party."
{BREAK}
Inside the cheesy baseball stadium were dozens upon dozens of tents and stands made out of slices of moldy pizza, burger buns, cheesy fries and shattered fragments of milk bottles.
Gorgonzola Emerald City was a jewel in the waste land that used to be Cheese town of Totto Land, a country founded by the Yonko Big Mom during The Great Pirate Era.
The smell of blood, feces, urine and sex mothered the air like Alfredo sauce on noodles as dozens upon dozens of people from all races Human, fish man, Mink etc were suffering and dying in cruel games.
In the lower fields, home to the less fortunate residents, towered a monster of a man that looked like a combination between a flying squirrel, a hammerhead shark and a neanderthal.
He stood at eleven feet eleven inches tall with leather black fur and red eyes, he had both mammalian and fish traits as evidenced by the gills on his neck. The hair on his head was crocodile green and done in a pompadour and was clothed in a pair of purple tidy whiteys over a pair of dirty mud stained khakis. As well as a purple wife beater with numerous needles plugged into his skin.
He raised his arms as thick as car doors in the air and called out. "My children! Make Grandfather Bane proud, count to ten, seek out your former parents and, when you find them…" The Flying squirrel mink x hammerhead shark fishmen hybrid took a deep breath through his purple grate like mask before bellowing like a bull in a cave-"RAPE THEM!"
In front of him were a dozen children ages six through twelve with skin as white as chalk and black stripes on their shirts, black eyeliner on their faces. What was most noticeable about them were the three pairs of black and white striped tentacles coming out of their backs.
Overall, the children looked like mimes with tentacles coming out of their backs and, in response to Grandfather Bane's speech, they let out silent cheers as they pumped both their fists. Before they closed their eyes and, with no sound coming out of their mouths, began to count, one finger at a time.
Meanwhile, through the rotten cheesy food streets and buildings that covered the former baseball field, the parents of these corrupted mutated children cowered. Hiding under beds, behind shower curtains, in pantries.
In a tent house that had walls made out of milk bottle shards and a roof made out of lettuce, pickles and a cheese burger bun were a pair of Longarm tribe parents. A subspecies of Human with extra long arms that had two elbows. They looked of Asian ethnicity with the father having pink hair done in a bowl cut and the mother having ash blonde hair done in bubble pig tails.
As they hid in their shower made out of a giant slice of pizza, the mother wrapped her long arms around herself and sobbed. "Duncan, please, please don't kill Seymour! He's our baby!"
The pink haired long arm tribe man loaded a six shot revolver, his brows furrowed. While his face was unmoving as stone and tight as a bolt his hand was shaking. "Not anymore, Bane and his Devil fruit turned him into a monster. You saw what Courtney did to her father when she was transformed by Bane. Seymour will do the same to us."
Duncan knelt down and placed a hand on his near epileptic seizure wife. "We lost our son, we can't lose each other too."
The woman's blue eyes leaked tears like a shower head on half power. "This is all McDonough's fault. Him and his Mankind For McDonough policies that forbid The Justice Troopers from operating here. If, if, if-"
Drool, snot and tears began to form a waterfall down the woman's face and right before her husband could comfort her the ramshackle door to their bathroom was smashed down by a pair of black and white striped tentacles. Which were soon followed by a nine year old mime-like boy with the same double elbow arms as the parents.
The child looked at its former parents, its eyes gleaming like a pack of starving wolves that found a dozen raw steaks. Duncan aimed his revolver between his former son's eyes but, before he could pull the trigger…
"NOT MY BABY!!" His wife tackled him to the floor, her own long arms ensnaring him and slapping the revolver out of his grasp, the couple landing on the floor with a cheesy thud.
Their former son didn't hesitate, his tentacles lashing out, followed by the tearing of cloth and the couple's screams of horror echoing outside the tent like a dinner bell.
{MEANWHILE}
Elsewhere in the lower fields, maybe one hundred feet east of the violation of the game of Hide and Seek, that Bane was forcing Parents to play with their corrupted children. A man clothed in a purple clunky almost lego-like armor with wings that kept him aloft via flame, flew twenty six feet above the ground.
This man, if one didn't take his two foot tall giraffe-like neck into account, was short, his body minus his neck being three feet ten inches tall. In his arms he carried a purple lego-like flamethrower that, while it had flames bursting out of its front like a dragon roaring, had a paintbrush the size of a goat's head on the back.
"Ze ro ro ro ro." The man's laughter was deranged like a clown with lung cancer on meth. "My poor, poor victims, let me tell you a story. There once was a boy named Lynns D. Garfield, who was forced by his father to compete in three legged races with him as a father son bonding experience."
Underneath his mask, the long necked dwarf's teeth ground together like sticks trying to start a fire. Before he pulled the trigger on his flamethrower paintbrush hybrid and shot forth a fifteen foot long gout of flame thus scaring the people below. "But everytime they lost, his dear old dad would hold burning coals to his body. Making him walk on red hot coals, making the poor, poor innocent short boy sleep on the burning rocks!"
The flying short man's voice became thick with emotion and choked with snot as he kicked the air violently five times before his head jerked and he let out another demented laugh. "Ze ro ro ro ro."
"But now it's that poor boy's turn to punish people for losing three legged races! So, run my poor poor victims! And when you lose I'll punish you! Just like daddy punished Lynns D. Garfield!"
He devolved into another fit of maniacal laughter, unleashing another gout of flame from his flame thrower paintbrush hybrid weapon, thus making the sixteen people below him cry, scream and whimper in terror.
That's right, there were sixteen people below him and they were tied together in a manner that they were ready to do a three legged race. At the deranged short man's signal the abomination of a three legged race began with a series of punches, kicks and trips.
With most people violently dragging their partners or assaulting other people's partners.
All the while, in front of them was an obstacle course consisting of various monsters. A few of which looked like a roach the size of a football with a bear trap for a head. While another looked like a walking nine foot one inch tall six eyed wet floor sign with a penis that was constantly urinating on the floor.
There were eight of the Bear trap headed giant roach monsters and four of the giant urinating Wet floor sign monsters.
It was on this scene that Mr Krabs Shepherd, Tali and Grunt stumbled upon after they snuck into Gorgonzola Emerald City. The trio crouched behind a block of cheese the size of a couch.
Shepherd's blue visor covered eyes zoomed in on the Flying giraffe necked Dwarf like a hawk with a scowl, underneath his pink and purple camo recon hood, The Butcher Of Torfan had a look of contempt as sharp as ninja throwing stars.
"Volus looking mother fucker wants to put innocent people through the same shit his dead beat dad did to him. I could understand if he was doing it to criminals, but to civilians? He dies first."
Underneath her helmet, Tali'Zorah smiled. 'Shepherd is in great pain but he will never hurt anyone innocent to vent that pain, he turns his pain into strength and uses it to crush evil. That's why I-'
The Quarian gave herself a mental slap on both cheeks. ' You can focus on how you feel about Shepherd later, Tali, for now we've got a city to save.'
Grunt growled and smacked his knuckles together. "Let's just go out there and bash some skulls! There's plenty of freaks for me to kill!"
Shepherd placed an iron grip on the Krogan's shoulder. "Not so fast. I have a plan and you WILL obey it, Grunt." The balding redhead's voice was firm as steel.
"I'll throw out a singularity to ensnare some of those weird monsters and then you and Tali will work together to take the monsters down while I focus on that Volus looking mother fucker."
Grunt grit his teeth. "FINE!" he spat. "But you better take me to Tuchanka after we're done with this world!"
"I will Grunt, I will." Mumbled The Butcher Of Torfan as he glowed with a purple and blue smoke before he jumped over the large block of cheese and threw out a blast of blue and purple energy.
The energy traveled at the speed of a bullet, quickly forming a blueberry and grape colored black hole the size of a door above the monsters thus sweeping all four of the Wet Floor signs monsters and all six of the bear trap headed roach monsters off their feet and into the air where they orbited the singularity like the moon orbited Earth.
"Devil Fruit User!" Cried out the flying dwarf with the long neck as he turned around to face Shepherd, Tali and Grunt, the Trio immediately splitting up.
Tali and Grunt wasted no time both Quarian and Krogan opening fire on the trapped monsters with their weapons, tiny granulated slugs traveling at a fraction of the speed of light quickly shredding the monsters.
The villain of the hour didn't waste time either, unleashing a roar of flame from his flamethrower/ paintbrush hybrid weapon. Like that of a dragon belching and Shepherd was hit dead center in the chest, thrown back twenty two feet.
-91 HP!
The Butcher blinked as he saw the notification flash in his vision. "What? What did I lose-" due to being fazed from his fall he wasn't able to dodge the next blast which buried him eleven feet into the molten ground.
-91 HP!
'My health! That bastard is taking huge hits out of my health!' realized Shepherd as he felt his realization become smothered by anger at the audacity of his short enemy.
The Butcher Of Torfan encased himself in a thick biotic aura and propelled himself out of the crater he was forced into, the sounds of gunshots cracked the air behind him like a dozen graham crackers being chopped in half.
-10HP!
-10HP!
-10HP!
The balding redhead in the pink and purple camo armor snarled as he flipped in mid-air to face his attackers, a trio of long armed tribe men wearing dirty purple leather clothes and chalk white clown masks with false green hair. The Butcher retaliated by flipping them off with both hands, simultaneously sending forth a shockwave of biotic power that cooked ozone in the air, shattered the ground into three dozen cracks and popped the trio of attackers like a grape.
Shepherd landed in-between Tali and Grunt, the two barking rounds into more raiders that were coming to assist their boss. "You two have better taken care of those monsters." He demanded.
Grunt scoffed. "I'm the ultimate Krogan, Shepherd, what do you take me for?!" As he pumped a shotgun round into the head of a long leg tribe.
Shepherd spared a glance at where the three legged race was taking place and to his surprise he could see the short giraffe necked man using his paintbrush/ flame thrower hybrid to draw new monsters, drawings that were swiftly coming to life.
' Lynn's D Garfield. AKA FireFly.
Species: Snake neck Tribe (Human)
Class: Devil Fruit User.
Level 30
905 HP'
"His stats are higher than mine." Mumbled Shepherd. " Whatever, that just means I have to hit him harder!" Deciding to go ham on the place, Shepherd threw out another biotic shockwave, this one killing another three long arm tribe raiders before he pulled out his assault rifle with polonium rounds and pulled the trigger without letting go.
Toxic sand sized metal grains traveling at a fraction of the speed of light rained down upon the raiders, shredding the chest cavities of nine who were zebra minks while making their chests light up like a green night light.
As his assault rifle beeped signaling its need to be reloaded, Mr Krabs Shepherd clenched his muscles and concentrated biotic power into his arms and legs. The First Human Specter began to glow like eight blue lava lamps before he shot off like a race car on meth towards FireFly.
With a sound akin to a race car running over a fifteen foot tall wall of saddles, Mr Krabs Shepherd collided into the much much shorter Firefly thus sending the snake neck tribe raider sprawling thirty five feet.
Shepherd had to admit, he was impressed that someone who wasn't a biotic and with no shields, especially someone as short as Firefly could survive his biotic charge. The Butcher Of Torfan watched with battle hungry excitement as Firefly cursed and quickly picked himself back up, with seemingly no broken bones.
'This midget might be able to give me an interesting fight after all.' mused Shepherd.
Firefly flew back up into the air and pointed a shaking finger at Shepherd. "You dare?!" His voice was wet as if he was gargling snot. "You dare hit me like daddy hit me?!"
Shepherd crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't give a damn about your daddy issues you damn midget. I'm just here to put you out of your misery and save this city."
"Midget… that's what Daddy used to call me…" Firefly seemed to whimper before he screamed. "Kill him!"
The newly drawn monsters which consisted of five Wet Floor signs monsters and five bear trap headed roach monsters advanced towards Shepherd.
Shepherd wasted no time and withdrew his sniper rifle equipped with inferno ammunition.
His eye became one with the scope as if the scope was another eye and he squeezed the trigger thrice, popping three of the Roach monsters heads while setting them on fire with inferno rounds.
MEANWHILE!
Tali felt her stomach do flip flops after Shepherd charged the short flying man with the long neck, who after observing him had learned he was called Firefly.
"Be careful Shepherd, there must be a reason why someone so short managed to take so many people hostage." Muttered The Quarian as she fired her pistol five times into the head of a cookie cutter shark fishman raider.
Grunt scoffed as he pumped a round from his shotgun into a three eyed tribe raider. "Those people were weak. Shepherd is strong, he didn't hesitate to shoot me after I got out of the tank. He will teach that midget a lesson."
Tali chuckled. ' Grunt is kind of condescending but he means well. Shepherd has earned his trust, he is the second Krogan that Shepherd has managed to impress.' The Quarian wistfully thought of Wrex and the missions they went on two years ago with Shepherd.
As she shot a dog mink raider in the throat three times, then sent out a combat drone to harass a duo of rabbit mink raiders.
Tali'Zorah knew Shepherd would find a way, for he even found a way to come back from the dead.
{BREAK}
At this point, Shepherd has finished off the new wave of monsters that Firefly had sent and decided to go on the offensive against Firefly again. The Butcher clenched his arm and leg muscles once again, charging up biotic energy through his body which built up like a purple and blue fog with streaks of purple and blue lightning.
With a crack of thunder, Shepherd crossed the battlefield in an instant and rammed into Firefly with another biotic charge, once again sending the dwarf snake neck tribe flying.
The Butcher Of Torfan didn't give Firefly a moment to rest, pulling out his polonium equipped assault rifle and firing seven rounds into Firefly's crotch, thus making the raider let out a scream of pain that sounded like a lamb drowning.
"You… bastard!" Wheezed Firefly as he forced himself to one knee and pulled the trigger this shooting forth a dragon's roar of flame.
Shepherd was quick to dodge this time performing a barrel roll before he prematurely reloaded his assault rifle and emptied another eleven polonium laced mass effect rounds into Firefly's chest.
Quickly checking Firefly's health he saw that the dwarf was at 699 HP.
'He may be as tall as a Volus but he's far more durable than any Volus could ever dream of. Not even a Krogan could shrug off getting shot as many times as he has in the balls.'
Underneath his mask, Firefly coughed up blood as he could feel blood entering his lungs, his heart pounding in his chest, and his stomach twisting into knots as he struggled not to puke.
Shepherd smiled as he observed Firefly's health. "Looks like the toxic damage has kicked in."
Firefly grit his teeth together. "That bastard's bullets must be highly radioactive, damn it!" The paintbrush on the end of his flame thrower became a blur and soon he had drawn two giant humanoid salamanders which came to life.
In response Mr Krabs Shepherd threw out a singularity to trap the two drawn gulpers in the air before he tossed out a warp to blow up the singularity and by extension the duo of drawn gulpers, he then switched to his sniper rifle and took aim at Firefly's head.
Mr Krabs Shepherd squeezed the trigger three times, sending Firefly stumbling back ten feet with each shot to the head. As The Butcher went to reload,Firefly retaliated with a blast of flame from his flamethrower.
-95HP!
Shepherd crashed through someone's house made of cheesy bacon fries and moldy pizza, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the various expired cheeses that coated his favorite armor, he felt his veins throb in his head at the indignity of being coated in moldy cheese.
He quickly applied medi-gel to himself to recover his lost health before he leapt out of the house with his sniper rifle reloaded. Just in time to dodge another roar of flame. After dodging, Shepherd got on one knee and squeezed the trigger three more times thus placing another three inferno sniper rounds into Firefly's skull.
"Damn, he's tougher than any Krogan." Mused Shepherd as Firefly cursed him and mumbled about his daddy.
Firefly proceeded to draw four more of those giant humanoid salamanders and ordered them to attack Shepherd. In response The Butcher began running, switching out his sniper rifle for his assault rifle and while running emptied fourteen rounds into Firefly's crotch thus making the raider let out another drowning lamb scream before in his agony he lost control of his jetpack and crashed through four cheesy houses.
While Firefly was down, Shepherd prepared another biotic charge, crossing the battlefield to slam into one of the drawn gulpers and upon impact his field detonating to shatter a second drawn gulper.
He then let loose with his assault rifle on the two remaining drawings, thus finishing them off.
The balding redhead then heard the sounds of debris shifting and without missing a beat turned around and withdrew his grenade launcher to launch a grenade at Firefly who was emerging from the debris of the houses he crashed through.
An explosion that sounded like fireworks being used to blow up twenty blocks of cheese pierced the air and Firefly howled as he was consumed by flames.
Underneath his recon hood, The Butcher watched impassively as Firefly now missing half his armor and covered in third degree burns and blood crawled out of rubble while muttering.
"Can't let Daddy win. Can't let Daddy win. Can't let Daddy win."
The Butcher kicked Firefly in the face Thus making the dwarf snake neck grunt as three teeth were knocked out. The Butcher placed his sniper rifle in Firefly's bleeding mouth and coldly replied, "You already did." Before squeezing the trigger one last time.
The raider choked and screamed as he was forced to eat an inferno round, his mouth glowing red, his forehead glowing red where he was shot with the sniper rifle, his body blackened with burns from the grenade and his genitals a glowing green goo. Altogether painting the perfect picture of a painful death.
A notification flashed in Shepherd's vision.
' Save Gorgonzola Emerald City Quest Update.
Kill Firefly complete! Rewarded 250 XP
You've killed fifteen raiders so far! Reward 1200 XP
You've saved sixteen civilians so far! Reward 1280 XP!
2730 XP earned!
Level up! You're now level 30!
New skill unlocked! Draw mate Level Three! You can now draw up to six clones of current or past squadmates to assist you in battle!'
Shepherd raised a brow and spoke aloud in an amused tone. "So I can now bring my drawings to life too, but for some reason only drawings of my squadmates will come to life."
The Butcher shrugged, "Good enough for me."
Grunt and Tali jogged up towards Shepherd, with the former casting a glance at the mutilated corpse of Firefly and shooting Shepherd a grin. "I heard all the gunshots, and it looks like every single one of them landed. That midget must've been a worthy opponent despite his short size. I am eager to fight my own worthy opponent in this world."
Tali casted a glance down at the short corpse and spoke. "Keelah, to think something as big as A Volus could take so many rounds. This world has proven to be different from any other world we've been to so far."
Shepherd cracked his knuckles. " That just means I'm going to become the strongest Human The sorry Alliance has ever seen. This world will be the first stepping stone to me kicking the Alliance's ass into kicking The Reapers' asses."
Grunt chuckled, as he thought the human he followed had a Krogan like mentality.
Tali held a hand to her chest, her heart skipping a beat. ' Shepherd, you're always so confident. As confident as the entire conclave if not more so. I wish I could be as confident as you.'
The sounds of screams shredded the air like an orchestra of men and women being tortured in Hell, sobbing punched the already pained ear drums of the Normandy Trio.
"Let's go." Ordered Shepherd, at The Butcher of Torfan's rock hard command his two squadmates without hesitation followed him into battle. For they knew that even traveling the multiverse, nothing would stop Commander Shepherd.
AUTHORS NOTES
So for Shepherd's stats, I admit I am not the best at writing Gamer fics as until now I've only read them. Like I said this is my first attempt at a Gamer fic.
So to answer a few questions, the universe that Shepherd was sent to is a FUSION between One Piece, Fallout and DC.
I like coming up with fusion universes, and will come up with more fusion universes for Shepherd and Co to travel to in the future.
Firefly in this chapter is this universe's version of the DC villain. A member of the snake neck tribe with dwarfism and Kanjuro's devil fruit.
The Bane in this chapter has Doc Q's Devil fruit and is a mink x fishman hybrid.
Gorgonzola Emerald city is One Piece's version of Diamond City which is in Totto land.
Anyways until next time! Later taters!