Faith stared after Lucas's retreating form. The door slammed, but Faith barely even flinched. What have I done? she thought, her body numb. Her mind was reeling. She hadn't meant to get so worked up, but once she had started talking, she couldn't seem to stop. But now, Faith wished she could go back in time. I've ruined everything.
Lucas's vision tunneled as he stormed out of the infirmary. His mind was a mess, but somehow, his feet seemed to know where to go. Because before he knew it, Lucas was on his horse riding out of the livery. Lucas knew it wasn't a good idea to ride so fast when his emotions were running so high, but at that moment, he didn't care. He just needed to get away.
When Lucas finally arrived at the clearing in the hills, he slowed his horse and tried to catch his breath. He felt as if he'd been the one who had been sprinting for miles. As the moments passed, Lucas just sat on top of his horse, staring out at the hills before him, as his breath slowed its pace.
"I should have seen this coming," Lucas muttered to himself, sliding off his horse. He took a seat on a nearby log and rested his head heavily in his hands. "Faith deserves more than I can give her. And so did Elizabeth." Lucas squeezed his eyes shut as the thoughts and questions bombarded his mind. And at this point, he just let them come.
He had thought running for governor was going to fix everything for Hope Valley. But in reality, it just felt like it made everything worse. His relationship with Elizabeth and now with Faith? Hadn't they both been upended because of his chosen occupation?
But maybe that's just an excuse. The thought suddenly whispered its way into Lucas's mind, but it felt as heavy as a ton of bricks. Jeanette, Elizabeth, now Faith. There is only one common denominator.
"It's me," Lucas whispered. "Maybe it's not my job. Maybe it's me." Lucas squeezed his eyes shut as he took a shaky breath. He didn't know what to do now, but he'd never felt so alone in his whole life. And he couldn't help but wonder if this feeling, this loneliness, was going to be a permanent thing.
Almost two hours later, Lucas finally rode back into town. Not that he wanted to, but he didn't have any other choice. He was still the governor after all.
As he rode down the heart of Hope Valley, Lucas's eyes roved the street and the sidewalks for any sign of Faith. He didn't know if he could deal with a confrontation with her right now. But when his eyes landed on the Mountie office, Lucas was in for a shock. Standing outside the office was not only Bill, but none other than Fiona Miller, her luggage on the ground beside her.
As fate would have it, Fiona turned around at that exact moment and looked over her shoulder. It only took a second for Fiona's brown eyes to meet Lucas's own. And then in an instant, Fiona turned away. Lucas felt his heart sink. Why was Fiona trying so hard to avoid him? Was something wrong? Had he hurt her? Just that thought alone covered Lucas with guilt. These days, it felt as if everything he touched, he messed up.
Lucas picked up his pace as he headed straight back to the livery. There were so many problems that needed to be figured out. But the thing was, Lucas didn't have a clue where to start.
Bill watched as Lucas rode into town, seated high on top of a horse. Bill was in the middle of a conversation with Fiona about her recent trip to Nashville, but she must have noticed when his gaze went over her shoulder because Fiona turned around. However, when she quickly spun around again, Bill didn't miss the look on her face.
"Is something wrong?" Bill asked, trying to sound casual, even when he already knew the answer to his own question.
"No, no. Nothing's wrong," Fiona assured him quickly. Too quickly, Bill thought.
"Really?" When Fiona didn't offer any more information, Bill decided to push a little. "You know," he started slowly. "I do remember when you called me everyday after he was shot." Bill looked meaningfully over Fiona's shoulder in the direction Lucas had gone. Instinctively, Fiona looked behind her, but Lucas was no longer in sight. When Fiona turned around again, Bill thought he detected a hint of color on her freckled cheeks.
"Right, that." Fiona looked down and avoided Bill's gaze.
"Do you have feelings for Lucas, Fiona?" Bill asked gently. He'd never been one to beat around the bush and he wasn't afraid to ask the hard questions, but Bill also recognized that this was a delicate situation. When Fiona looked up with tears in her eyes, Bill already knew what her answer was going to be.
"I do," Fiona admitted, in a barely audible whisper. "I think I have for a while."
"But…" Bill prompted slowly.
"But he's with Faith now," Fiona said. "And she's my best friend. I would never want to do something that would jeopardize her happiness." Suddenly, Fiona straightened and her eyes filled with panic. "You can't tell anyone, Bill," she implored. "Please. No one can know. Especially not Faith and certainly not Lucas. They can't find out. I care about them too much." Bill just smiled a little and placed a reassuring hand on Fiona's shoulder.
"I promise not to say a word," he replied. "Us Mounties are pretty good at that." Fiona sighed in obvious relief.
"Thank you, Bill," she breathed out.
"You can trust me," Bill promised, giving her shoulder a fatherly squeeze. Fiona quickly swiped a finger under her eyes and squared her shoulders again.
"Well, I should probably go unpack," she said.
"I'll leave you to it," Bill smiled and stepped aside. As Fiona headed back home to the cafe, Bill focused his attention on the saloon across the street. He'd seen Lucas walk inside a few minutes earlier. Bill had a feeling that something was amiss. He was still enough of a Mountie to notice almost everything that happened in Hope Valley. Bill had seen Lucas walk into the infirmary that morning and then storm out several minutes later. He had noticed Lucas take off into the woods on his horse and the dejected way the governor's shoulders had slumped as he rode back into town.
If Bill had to guess, Lucas was having some conflicting thoughts. Probably about Faith, but it was possibly about more than that. And Bill being Bill couldn't help giving his two-sense, especially when he knew that someone needed to hear it.
He crossed the street and entered the saloon a few minutes later. Lucas was already there, sitting at the bar talking to Mike and Lee who were both working behind it. It didn't take a genius to figure out that Lucas was upset. His tousled hair, discarded jacket, and wrinkled shirt were pretty good indicators, as were the dark circles under his eyes.
"Good afternoon, gentlemen," Bill said in greeting, as he sauntered up to the bar.
"Oh hey, Bill," Lee replied, looking over as he dried the glass in his hand. "Can I get you a drink?"
"I'm good, thanks," Bill answered, with a wave of his hand. "Did you hear that Fiona is back in town?" Bill leaned up against the bar and watched Lucas's reaction closely, hiding his smile when the younger man immediately looked up at the mention of Fiona's name.
"Oh really?" Mike was the one who replied this time. "She called yesterday and said she would be back tomorrow."
"She got an earlier train," Bill explained. "She stopped by the Mountie office on her way back to the cafe. She told me that while she was in Nashville, she had a meeting with Arthur Gilchrist."
"Arthur Gilchrist," Lee repeated, as he tried to place the name. "Isn't that the guy who worked with Gerome Smith and wanted me to come write for his newspaper somewhere in the states?"
"One and the same," Bill confirmed. "He and Fiona went to dinner." Now, even though Bill was looking at Lee and Mike, he keenly watched Lucas out of the corner of his eye. "Fiona seemed to really like him."
"What?" Lucas snapped suddenly, seeming unable to stop himself. If he hadn't been listening before, he certainly was now. He scowled so hard that Bill thought Lucas looked ready to tackle someone. "Arthur Gilchrist?!" Lucas spit out the name as though it left a sour taste in his mouth. "I just had to deal with that guy a month ago. Gilchrist still only cares about one person. Himself." Lucas's scowl deepened, which Bill hadn't thought was possible. "Fiona's way too good for him. He doesn't even deserve to take her on a date," Lucas finished with a huff. Nobody said anything. Lee and Mike just stared at Lucas like they didn't even recognize him and Bill didn't even try to stop his smirk. Mountie intuition never fails, Bill thought with satisfaction.
It was the silence that made Lucas look up. "What?" he finally asked, when he noticed the looks that Mike, Lee, and Bill were giving him. Lee and Mike looked both shocked and confused, but Bill looked triumphant. And Lucas knew that alone was not a good thing. It was Lee who spoke up first.
"Remind me again who you're courting?" Lee asked, pointing a finger at Lucas. At the implication, Lucas's eyes grew wide as he suddenly realized what had just come out of his mouth. And what it all meant.
"No." Lucas lifted his hands to his head and ran them roughly through his hair. Why did I get so defensive? His eyes went wide and immediately filled with panic. This can't be happening, he thought. How could I not have seen it before? Lucas had never doubted that he cared for Fiona. After all, they'd been both business partners and friends. And sure, Fiona was beautiful, smart, and funny, but he'd never thought about her in that way. At least, he didn't think he had.
Now, Lucas's vision started to shift and things started to fall into place. The sparks that he'd felt when their hands had touched. The way he hadn't even hesitated to open up to her and the compassion he'd seen in Fiona's brown eyes when she had responded. The way that Lucas had felt like he'd been punched in the gut when she said she was going to be leaving and the overwhelming defensiveness that arose in Lucas when he heard she was going out to dinner with someone else. Suddenly, the truth rang loud and clear. I have feelings for Fiona Miller.
"Maybe you should talk to Faith," Mike said then, with an obviously concerned expression.
"And Fiona," Lee added.
"I can't talk to either of them!" Lucas finally just burst out, throwing both of his hands up in the air. "Fiona is avoiding me and I just stormed out on Faith."
"You had a fight?" Mike questioned, raising his eyebrows. Lucas only managed to nod.
"You've got to talk to both of them, Lucas," Bill put in from the end of the bar. Lucas turned his head to look at him. Bill wasn't smirking anymore, but Lucas had a feeling that the judge knew something that he wasn't saying. "It's the only way to solve this."
Lucas let out a sigh. "I know," he admitted. Boy, do I know it.
"Glad we got that cleared up," Bill replied promptly, roughly clapping Lucas on the shoulder. "Oh, and by the way, Fiona never went to dinner with Arthur Gilchrist."
Now, Lucas's head shot up. "What?!" he snapped, unable to conceal the edge in his voice.
"She didn't go to dinner with him," Bill repeated, like it held zero significance.
"Then why did you say that?" Lucas questioned. He was irritated now.
Bill just shrugged. "I thought you could use a little help figuring yourself out." Lucas scowled at this, even though he knew it was the truth.
"So, Fiona isn't working with Arthur Gilchrist?" Lucas asked, trying to make sense of it.
"Oh, she is," Bill replied casually, which only irritated Lucas more. "She had to meet with him about getting an article about the suffragette movement in California published in one of his papers." Now, Bill smirked again. "She said he was as full of himself as ever."
"You sure know how to meddle, Bill," Mike commented, with a shake of his head.
"Only when necessary," Bill made sure to say.
"I'm glad I'm already married!" Lee said with a chuckle.
"Yeah, no kidding," Mike agreed with a hearty nod. Not helpful, guys, Lucas wanted to say, but he held his tongue.
"Looks like you've found yourself in a bit of a predicament, my friend," Bill said then. As if I didn't already know that, Lucas couldn't help thinking.
"What do you suggest I do?" Lucas asked. He was still slightly irritated, not only at the fact that Bill seemed to have all the answers, but also because of the predicament Lucas now found himself in.
"I think I know who you can talk to," Bill replied simply. Lucas was about to ask what he meant when Bill looked meaningfully out the window of the saloon. Lucas followed his gaze to see the schoolhouse sitting at the center of the field. Lucas glanced back to find Bill looking at him with raised eyebrows.
"I think there's someone who has been in that position before," Bill said and Lucas immediately understood that Bill was referring to Elizabeth. Lucas knew he was right. She had been in that position before. Having to choose between two people, both of whom you have feelings for. Lucas just hated to admit that he'd been the one who'd put her there.
After Bill left to head back to the jail and Lee went back to his office, Lucas found himself in his own office, staring listlessly out the window. How had he ended up here? Lucas couldn't help wondering. Not only had he lost his cool with Faith that morning, but he had also just discovered that he had feelings for someone else entirely! It still felt so fresh that he couldn't quite wrap his mind around it yet.
Lucas knew that Bill was right. He knew what he had to do, but that didn't mean he was any more eager to do it. With a sigh, Lucas reached for the notepad on his desk and then grabbed the pen that was sitting next to it. Then, he started to pen a note for Hope Valley's one and only school teacher.
Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, especially since Lucas is finally figuring out how he really feels. ;) I hope you all enjoyed it!