I do not own the rights to the TV show, the characters, or the music. This is just me writing as a fan.
No copyright infringement intended. Pls don't sue me. :)
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"Of Broken Hearts and Brave Faces"
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Regina stood in her vault, a glass of cider in hand, staring at nothing in particular. The invitation sat on her desk, its elegant script seeming to mock her. Emma Swan and Killian Jones cordially invite you...
She took another drink, letting the alcohol burn down her throat. How fitting, she thought bitterly, that it should burn just like the words that had stuck in her throat for years. Words like "I love you" and "choose me" and "please stay."
A knock echoed through the vault, followed by Snow's voice. "Regina? Are you in here?"
Regina closed her eyes, gathering her composure. "Come in, Snow."
Snow appeared at the entrance, her face etched with concern. "You missed the dress fitting."
"Did I?" Regina's voice was carefully neutral. "Must have slipped my mind. Mayoral duties, you understand."
Snow's eyes fell on the half-empty bottle of cider, then back to Regina. "Regina..."
"Don't." Regina's voice cracked slightly. "Please don't look at me like that. Like you pity me."
"It's not pity," Snow moved closer, her voice gentle. "It's concern. You haven't been yourself lately."
Regina laughed, but it came out hollow. "And who should I be, dear? The supportive friend? The understanding co-parent? The former Evil Queen who sits quietly and watches as—" she cut herself off, taking another drink.
"As Emma marries someone else?" Snow finished softly.
Regina's hand tightened around her glass. "She's happy," she said, as if saying it enough times would make it hurt less. "That's what matters."
"But you're not."
"I'm fine."
"Regina—"
"I said I'm fine!" Magic crackled in the air, making the flames of the candles flicker. Regina closed her eyes, forcing herself to breathe. "I'm fine," she repeated, quieter this time. "I have to be."
Snow was quiet for a long moment. "You know, she asked about you today. Wondered why you weren't at the fitting."
Regina's heart clenched painfully. "And what did you tell her?"
"That you were busy. But Regina... maybe if you just told her—"
"Told her what?" Regina whirled around, eyes flashing. "That I love her? That every time I see her with him, it feels like my heart is being crushed? That I lie awake at night wondering what would have happened if I'd been brave enough to say something sooner?" Her voice broke. "She made her choice, Snow. She chose him."
"Regina..." Snow stepped forward, reaching out.
Regina moved away, wrapping her arms around herself. "Do you know what the worst part is?" she whispered. "She looks at me sometimes, in these little moments, and I think... maybe. Maybe she feels it too. Maybe if I just..." she shook her head. "But then he appears, and she looks at him like he's her whole world, and I remember that I'm just... me. The villain of the story who doesn't get the happy ending."
"You're not a villain," Snow insisted. "And you deserve happiness just as much as anyone else."
Regina smiled sadly. "Perhaps. But not with her. Never with her."
She walked to her desk, picking up the invitation. "I'll be there, Snow. I'll wear a beautiful dress and smile at all the right moments. I'll give a toast about true love and happy endings. I'll be exactly what everyone expects me to be." Her voice wavered. "But please... just for today... let me have this moment to not be okay."
Snow's eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Regina," she moved forward, and this time Regina didn't pull away when Snow wrapped her arms around her.
"I love her," Regina whispered into Snow's shoulder, finally letting the tears fall. "I love her so much it hurts to breathe sometimes."
"I know," Snow held her tighter. "I know you do."
Later that night, alone in her mansion, Regina sat in her study. On her desk was a letter she'd written months ago but never sent:
Dear Emma,
There are so many things I've never said to you. So many moments when the words were there, sitting at the tip of my tongue, but I swallowed them back because I was afraid. Afraid of losing you, afraid of ruining what we had, afraid of not being enough.
I love the way you bring me coffee just the way I like it, even though you think my taste is "weird and complicated." I love how you defend me to anyone who dares question my redemption. I love watching you with Henry, seeing the mother you've become.
I love your ridiculous savior complex and your terrible jokes. I love how you never gave up on me, even when I gave you every reason to. I love you, Emma Swan, in all the ways I never thought I could love anyone again after Daniel.
But timing is everything, isn't it? And ours was never quite right. There were always curses to break, villains to fight, pirates to save. And now here we are – you're getting your happy ending, and I'm writing a letter I'll never send.
Be happy, Emma. That's all I've ever wanted for you. Even if it's not with me.
All my love, Regina
Regina stood up, taking the letter to her fireplace. She watched as the flames consumed the paper, taking with it words that would never be spoken, feelings that would never be shared.
Tomorrow, she would put on her mask again. She would be strong and composed, the reformed Evil Queen watching the Savior get her happy ending. She would smile and pretend her heart wasn't breaking with every "I do."
But tonight... tonight she would let herself feel it all. The love, the loss, the what-ifs that would haunt her dreams.
"Be happy, Emma," she whispered to the empty room, a single tear rolling down her cheek. "Be happy enough for both of us."
In her hand, the invitation crumpled slightly, its words still visible in the firelight:
"Emma Swan and Killian Jones cordially invite you to celebrate their wedding..."
Regina closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely now. Sometimes love meant watching the person you loved choose someone else. Sometimes being strong meant knowing when to let go.
But gods, she thought as she poured another drink, no one ever told her it would hurt quite this much.
The clock struck midnight, and Regina Mills sat alone in her mansion, loving Emma Swan in silence, as she had done for years. As she would continue to do, even after tomorrow, even after "I do," even after forever.
Because that's what love was, wasn't it? Loving someone enough to let them go, even when every piece of your heart begged them to stay.
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#Let me know what you think Emma feels towards Regina. Is it romantic or platonic?