Athena walked robotically into the apartment, those words still ringing in her ears. She'd never forget them. Never forget the soul crushing agony when she stopped outside Hotch's office.

How long had they been together? For such passionate declarations? How long had she been a love-struck fool?

She'd let all the sadness and anger out in the bedroom. Now, only a great big chasm of nothing remained.

Sometimes she'd let himself hope... dream even, as she lay in bed. She'd close her eyes and think of a better place, an alternative timeline maybe, where Hotch loved her. Then she'd open them and remember where she was, who she was... that she couldn't love and wasn't worthy of love.

"Sis!"Reid calls.

"Athena"

"Sis"

"ATHENA"

Reid seeks her out in her quarters. The sharp rap on the door goes unanswered at first, but when Newt tentatively calls out Athena comes to answer.

The heavy wood door swings open to reveal Athena with dark sunken eyes and the distinct odor of the unwashed. His appearance points to Athena not having left her rooms for some time, and from the bags under her eyes, she hasn't been spending the time resting.

"Are you alright, Athena? Are you hurt?" Reid pushes immeditately into the room. "What in the name of God happened..-" He stops suddenly as he finally glances away from Athena's face and to the room. It's in chaos, as if it had been ransacked, and a number of bags lay filled on the floor with books and jars.

"Sis." Reid's tone has changed- his jaw is tight and his gaze is a accusatory mix of anger and pity. "What are you doing."

"There's nothing left here." She turns to the shelf, snatching a book and shoving it into a bag.

"Athena, stop, sis-" Reid follows, takes her by the shoulders. "Tell me what is happening. Right now."

"I let my walls down. I let myself to care for others..I le" Athena jerks away. She hasn't met Reid's eyes."I...let this person in. I let him in. I don't let people in. You knew this, and he'd taken her from me. I needed him and he'd broken me."

"Sis. What happened?" Silence. The book goes in the bag, and Ara squats before it. "You need to take a breath. Come with me." He gestures to Athena.

"He kissed her." She looked up at him and sighed; she felt completely spent, she just wanted to lay down and be held. Reid checked her over sweetly, his concern making her heart flutter. She wondered if she should tell him the whole story, considering how her brother would no doubt blow a gasket.

This time it's Reid who freezes.

"What did you say?"

The BAU at night was a strange place. Emptied of its usual mass of humanity, it became almost peaceful in its near total silence. The ambient sounds that never entirely went away in an office were the only disturbance as Hotch closed his office door behind him, a small sigh of relief escaping him. He knew that he was leaving far too late and would owe Athena an apology, if he were still awake. They hadn't had any firm plans, but there was an understanding that they would share dinner when they were both free. Unfortunately, the idea of free time and being in charge of the BAU were slightly incompatible. Still, they might have a chance to share something together. Even just a few minutes on the couch, arguing aimlessly about what to put on TV until they gave up and went to bed.

With fresh resolve, he moved quickly through the office, checking to make sure no-one apart from him was foolish enough to still be there. An unexpected movement in the kitchen drew his eye and he froze in surprise, relaxing as soon as he realised who it was.

"Prentiss?" he said, his voice almost shockingly loud in the quiet space. "What are you still doing here?"

The woman turned to him, stirring a cup of coffee vigorously. Hotch narrowed his eyes, concerned.

"Look Hotch I just really need to get this out now" she could feel the words bubbling up in her throat.

Emily never imagined herself lusting after a married man, had never thought of herself as a cheater or someone's mistress. But the first time she shakes his hand she couldn't shake the feeling of want, something primal, something she hadn't experienced before.

She didn't remember when she fell in love with him. When the feeling of friendship turned into more, the love she'd always had for him transforming into what she felt now. It had happened slowly, bit by bit until she didn't remember how it felt to not be completely, heads over heels, in love with her coworker. There were moments when she thought he might feel the same way too, when his gaze would linger on her a little too long, affection that seemed to run deeper than friendship lingering in his eyes.

When Prentiss suddenly leans in and kisses him, that's not what happens. Hotch doesn't feel calm. Or warm. There's no sudden understanding of himself. Instead, there's confusion. A lot of confusion.

The next thing Hotch knows, he's standing by the other side of the room, staring with wide eyes at the woman. Who just kissed him. "What...?" It's barely a word, more like a sharp breath pushed out of his chest. He realizes that he moved himself across the room, in reaction to the unwanted move from Prentiss.

The woman in question slowly rises from desk, his eyes suddenly easier to read than they had been all day, and what Hotch sees makes him want to run even further away.

"Why?""Hotch asks, his voice soft. It's more of an exhale, really. Like he breathes out and the word just comes with.

"I am in love with you!"

Hotch didn't know what to say. Never in his life had someone said these words to him expect his late wife. Never before had he realized how much he wanted to hear these words. And now that Prentiss had said them he knew that the only person he wanted to hear these words from...

... was Athena.

"I think I'm in love with you. Before my fake death we were so...comfortable together, you and I. Our dinners, our talks." Prentiss swallowed visibly. "I thought we were going somewhere.I came over here because I want...I want us to give things a try between us. There is something there, always has been and I don't want to ignore it any longer"

The words fell like stones between them, the silence lengthening as they all stood there unmoving, no one spoke, didn't even seem to make a sound.

"We were friends, Emily. Just friends." There was a pained look on the woman's face as he spoke. "You never said anything."

"I was scared!" She shouted, lifting her hands to her face in frustration.

The longer he remained still and silent, the more Prentiss 's smile turned downward, causing her stomach to churn, and she had to look away. She wanted to run, but she knew, deep down, under all that fear and dread, that she would regret it if she did.

Hotch shook his head, turning to look at Prentiss again, needing her to understand what he couldn't put into words. The door to the office was behind Prentiss, just a little to the right, and Hotch was so tempted to run. His whole body twitched with the urge. But Prentiss was still smiling at him, much sadder now, but as though she were trying to comfort Hotch, and something inside him snapped.

«Please!"said Prentiss desperation in her voice."Say something!"

Then she held her breath.

He watches silently as a tear runs down Prentiss's cheek. She squeezes her eyes shut and bites her lips. The silence in Hotch's office is deafening.

Opening her eyes, Prentiss straightens her back and looks at Hotch again.

There was the tiny spark that had flickered to life during cases. The light gilded the soft angles of his agent's face. Her hair hung loose over the pale sweep of her shoulders. All that remained upon her slight frame was a thin, white shift, a wisp of silk that did little to hide her form from his eyes.

She was strong, and beautiful, with a wit as keen as a knife. Any man might give his balls to share a night with her. Perhaps, in another life, he could want her. Maybe even love her. If he was not met Athena.

"I've given this a lot of thought, and it always comes to the same end. You're a dear friend. We've been through so much together. Don't get me wrong, there was a time I wanted to explore a different path for the two of us. But you know as well as I do, it didn't happen. And now? I just don't ever see it happening? Not anymore.

"The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you, Emily. And that's what I would do. I would carry out a charade so as not to see you hurt now only to make it worse down the road. I may be a hard ass Chief, but I'm not bad."

Prentiss had steeled herself for the words, I don't love you in that way and kept waiting for them to come. When they didn't, she realized she was unprepared for anything else.

Hotch wasn't lying to her. She knew him too well. Knew when he was hedging. Nothing of the kind was going on here. He was sincere and truly sorry he had to tell her what he just did. She knew by the words he diduse.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Aaron, it's okay." Her voice breaks on Hotchs name, and Hotch doesn't think he'll ever get that version of his name out of his head.

Hotch would give the world for things to be different, to be able to give this to Prentiss. He so desperately wishes he could, but he can't. "I'm sorry." He can feel the tears fighting to get out. Prentiss's own face is already wet. The world is imploding around them and Hotch has no idea how to fix it."Emily I am sorry, I didn't know that you still felt that way or that you were even thinking about you and me". Regret and apology were written across his face as he looked at her.

"You have nothing to apologise for Hotch, I never said anything so how could you have known". She looked down ashamed of the question burning within her, demanding an answer, but unable to prevent herself saying it either, she had to know.

"Would it have made any difference if you had known before?" She asked against her better judgement, she knew the answer before he gave it but some masochistic part of her needed him to say it, maybe it would even help in trying to get over him.

Hotch shook his head in the negative looking apologetic,

"It's not your fault, Aaron." Prentiss tries for a smile and the tears trace her canines. "I'll be okay." It's a reassurance even for herself.

"This doesn't change anything between us. We're still us, you don't have to worry about–" Hotch knows this is stupid to say but he has to say something. He can't leave Prentiss hanging and he desperately wants to get through to him that it's okay, but he's just making it worse, so he stops.

He offered her a smile, letting his hand drift down Prentiss's arm so he could link their fingers. She swallowed hard, looking away, and Hotch sighed. It hurt to wander back out into the night. It hurt to leave Prentiss sitting there alone, drowning her sorrows. But he had someone waiting for him, someone he loved, and who loved him, despite all his hangups.

He only hoped Prentiss could find the same, some day.

Reid looked at the plane tickets that were placed neatly on the table earlier.

"So you're going to leave?" Reid couldn't believe his ears. Her austerity was actually planning on leaving DC. "Where will you go if you do leave?"

"England." Athena gave him a weak grin. "It's a safe distance away , I need to collect my self again and heal my wounds."

"But you'll be miserable." Reid pointed out.

"Athena...please. Please don't leave me." Reid begged. "I need you more than I need mom or Morgan . I need my big sister. Please don't go."

"You have Morgan now Spencer, don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at each other," Athena gave him a brief smile.

"That's just it sis. What the hell do I know about love-about real love. Sis I need you. I don't want to mess this up. I was just helping him and then..."

"Do you really want relationship advice from me?" Athena gave him a rue smile. "In case you haven't noticed, I have no love life and I highly doubt that you'll ruin this."

"I know that I'm going to mess up and I need you big sister." Reid pulled out the big guns with widening his eyes and looking like a little kid again. "Please 'Tena. Stay."

That technique wasn't working so he tried a different approach.

«You know the thing where there's a force of nature between you that makes you orbit one another? That thing where you both at each other look like the other hung the moon and stole the stars?. This kind of love I read the books and I see it in front of me between you and Hotch, and this love I want to live with the man I love but I'm afraid not to screw up I'm not good with people and emotions but this man makes me and I need him..."

"Then don't ruin it." She patted him on the back. "I have to leave the states...as much as I love you little brother, I want you to thrive and I want him to be happy. The only way is for me to leave tonight."

"Your pacing is annoying," Derek says, jaw ticking in irritation as he steadily ignores the quick pitter patter of Reid' bare feet against his concrete flooring. "Stop."

He hears Reid chuff out a breath of air, no doubt side eying him with pinched brows and lips that have twisted into a petulant pout as he glares, doom and gloom radiating from him in spades.

"I'm not pacing," Reid argues childishly, "I'm walking back in forth in a very purposeful manner."

Derek slams his book close, just barely manages not to roll his eyes, and turns to glance at Reid with a very unimpressed frown.

"Pacing," he reiterates dryly.

Reid crosses his arms and turns his back to Derek, heartbeat ticking upwards as he fumes.

Morgan sighs, put out and exasperated. "Athena will be fine," he says tightly.

Reid turns wildly by his heel to glare, moonlight reflecting off his bright brown eyes.

"Well aren't you just a little ball of sunshine and positivity!" He narrows his eyes.

This time, Derek does roll his eyes. "Athena can handle himself."

"I should be with her," Reid says, stepping towards the table and jutting his pointer finger back at himself. "This is my fault, and I'm her brother so I should—"

"—Shut up."

Reid blinks, surprised for one moment and then furious the next. "Fuck off, I—"

"No pretty boy, just shut up," Derek growls, shoulders hunched and brows furrowed. "Trust me, Reid, no matter where she is are, Athena is the scariest thing there. I think it's a pheromone thing. She is naturally repulse people, and bears have noses too."

"Morgan!"

"Athena knows what she's doing. What is done is done, there's nothing you can do about it." Derek steps forward around the table, the movement quick and deliberate. "Now quit pacing and come here!"

Reid rolled his eyes and he Morgan. Whether they were fighting or laughing; and they did a lot of both, he may be completely in love with his pretty boy but Reid still infuriated him on a regular basis; he loved getting a reaction out of him. Everything just seemed easier when it was the two of them.

Reaching out, he gently took Morgan's hand in his own, kissing the palm softly. Morgan softened and leaned over to kiss Reid directly on the tip of his nose.

An unwarranted knock at the door disrupted the tightness in Morgan' abdomen, forcing him to stop moving. He let out a low growl into the skin of Reid s throat as the apex of his climax rushed away from him, while Reid swore loudly.

"Fuck..."

"If I had five bucks for every time we were interrupted..." he muttered in annoyance, looking a picture with his bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead, his face flushed and his pupils blown dark.

Morgan shot the door—and by proxy who was behind it—a hateful glare as he reluctantly rolled off Reid, shooting him an apologetic look. They didn't need a repeat of last month when Athena had walked in on them. The other man just rolled his eyes and busied himself with making himself roughly presentable and hiding his state of arousal.

Once they were both wrapped up in Reid's bedsheets, he called for whoever had knocked on the door to come in, his voice clipped and annoyed.

"Hotch"Morgan gasped out.

The man in front of him was frozen, not moving. The look on Hotch's face was wrecked. Fully heartbroken.

"Where..." Hotch voice actually croaked. "This... This can't be...where is she?."

"She gone!"

"What?"" It was all that Hotch could say as he faced the blank stare of his agent. He could hear the thundering of his heart, the way his stomach just dropped down to his feet, how his lungs seemed to freeze at the very utterance of those words.

This could not be happening. This had to be a sick and twisted nightmare. He could not allow this to happen!

"Why are you care?" Reid asked raised an eyebrow that mimicked hid sister 's little habit perfectly.

Hotch heart stopped beating. His lungs filled with ice. His mind stopped functioning. He felt empty, hollow, darker.

"Of course I care!"Hotch felt his heart beat once, his lungs draw in warmth, his eye sight clear.

"Oh just save it!" At Reid exclamation his whole body tensed. Reid was on his feet, he wanted to go for Hotch, punch him, strangle him, kill him. But something or someone was holding him back. Reid just starred at him, lost for words, his brain became hazy and filled with nothing but fog. "You promised me that you will not hurt my sister but you know what I found after I came back from work? My big sister crying, because of you, because you decided that Prentiss's has a pretty mouth and play tonsil hockey with the Jesus Christ second come back!"

"Reid , that is enough!" Hotch saw Morgan step forward and try to subdue him but Reid would not stand by and let himself be silenced.

"No! It's not enough!" He shouted and his words echoed thought the hallway . "It will never be enough. Not after what he just did to my sister!"

Reid's eyes were filled with hatred.

"Spencer, please". Hotch had never begged before, nor have they seen him cry, other than when Hayley left.

Inside, Reid was loving what he was seeing. He could not deny the small amount of glee he felt. He then schooled his expression and prepared himself to handle his angry and disparate boss.

Reid sighed and looked at his watch. " I imagine right now she's going to Germany!"

The second the door slides shut Hotch drops to the floor of in front of the Reid apartment and let's all the emotions he's been keeping mostly in check for the last few minutes (feels like hours) course through him.

Anger. Pain. Guilt. Despair. And a whole myriad of other emotions.

He was alone again. Just like he wanted.

He was alone and his only chance at possible happiness was gone.

He had destroyed his everything and he didn't know what to do.

He had broken Athena' heart with one stupid, simple but stupid, act and broke his own world in the process.

A single tear trailed down his cheek.