Marsh Pregnancy

By Shadowgate

….

Jerry Marsh walked up to the bus stop and saw Kate Broflovski there.

Jerry yelled "Kate I want a brother or a sister and I know my parents have been romantic lately."

Kate told him she was hopeful he'd get his wish as the school bus pulled up.

At school, the principal called all the students to the gym for an assembly.

The principal stated "alright over 20 years ago South Park went progressive so we put great emphasis on sex education."

The school nurse stepped up.

When she did she began talking to the children about condom use as a preventative measure against STDS.

At the end of the sex education lesson, she told the children "condoms are not a 100% guarantee. Those sperm cells are so small that if the condom has a hole in it they can seep out."

Jerry began rubbing his hands with a smile on his face saying to himself "I know how I'll get a sibling now."

When Jerry got home he realized both his parents were at work. He made his way up to his parent's room and used his math compass to poke holes in all the condoms.

Jerry thought to himself "oh I was so certain I heard them talk about using condoms and they are. Oh, dear dad it seems these condoms are now defective."

Jerry giggled and fled his parents room believing his plan to get a sibling would succeed.

That night Wendy and Stan began to fuck passionately. After Stan shot his load he yelled "oh shit I think the condom broke."

Sure, enough it did. Wendy yelled "OMG" and Stan realized "the condom did break."

Wendy commented "condoms aren't a Goddamn guarantee and I'm probably going to get pregnant."

Stan snapped "well damn it that's what we wanted to avoid."

Wendy replied "well as much as we fuck and you can shoot loads of sperm I'm just certain I'll be pregnant."

Stan looked over at the other condoms and said "fuck will you look at this? All these condoms have been tampered with!"

Wendy shouted "oh my God are you serious?"

Stan told her "look at this" and he handed her all the condoms.

Wendy asked if the box was completely sealed at the pharmacy when he bought them and Stan answered defensively "of course it was."

Wendy slammed her hand down on the side dresser and yelled "alright when was the last fucking time Eric Cartman was over here? He maybe a grown man physically but everyone in this Goddamn town knows he never matured past the age of 4."

Stan answered "Cartman hasn't been over here in a month and I bought these condoms last week."

Wendy said "it must have been done in the factory by a dishonest employee working for that company."

Stan was dumbfounded.

Wendy added "either that or this box had a load of defective condoms."

Stan replied "I can see how one or two of them could be weak enough to burst but not the whole box. Plus, if you look at each one they've all been slit down the side."

Wendy snapped "oh my God that settles it, it had to be a bad employee at the factory."

"No, no way because I remember last night we used one out of this box and there was nothing wrong with it. I also don't remember seeing big cuts in the rest of them last night. I honestly don't."

Wendy and Stan both looked at each other clueless.

That's when it soon occurred to Stan that the obvious fact these condoms had been cut into on purpose meant that one person had to be the guilty one.

Stan said "Wendy it's obvious Jerry did it. The condoms have all been slashed leaving them open and only one person would have."

Wendy asked "why would he have done this and if we're going to accuse him of it then we better clean up our mess first. Also, we don't know for a fact that he did it an irresponsible factory worker could have done this to get his kicks as a general asshole of the world."

Stan replied "no I've had this box a couple days and I inspected them before and nobody else could have done it."

Wendy snapped "I don't understand why he would do such thing."

Stan looked at her rolling his eyes and then exhaling before he responded "his motive was to be a prankster. Boys will be boys and boys like to naughty things. A boy his age gets a hold of a condom he's going to laugh and joke around with it. In this case his naughty joke went way too far."

Wendy yelled "if we're going to accuse him of it we have to call him in here and we'll be discussing our business in front of him."

"You could be pregnant Wendy because up until I shot my load in that condom we thought there was nothing wrong. Plus, all first graders know where babies come from so we won't expose him to any details about sex other than that one. Now I am going to call him in here throw the man milk covered condom in the toilet. Flushing it won't be a problem."

Wendy takes the condom and disposes it in the toilet. Right before she flushes it she hears her husband yell "Jerry" and she rushes out of the bathroom to say "if he denies it on the spot drop it."

Stan snapped "let him lie and get off like that, are you kidding?"

Wendy answered "because he could be innocent and we could tell by his denial."

Suddenly Jerry entered his parent's room.

Stan said "we have an issue and we have to expose you to our personal business and we don't want to. However, it's necessary because of the question we must ask you. Jerry your mom and I have been romantically intimate but tonight I found all the condoms have been cut which would prevent the birth control. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it would you?"

Jerry answered "I cut your condoms open on the side on purpose because I decided months ago that I want a sibling."

Wendy immediately said "oh my God you suspected him right off the bat and turned out to be right."

Stan immediately shot back "I sure was right and he didn't even try to deny it."

Four months after the unexpected impregnation of Wendy Marsh the whole family heads into the obstetrician's office.

Wendy lies on the exam table and waits for Doctor Red Donovan to get started.

"Alright Mrs. Wendy Marsh you're having a second child I see."

Wendy answered "yes due to unexpected circumstances but I've decided to go ahead and keep this baby."

Jerry commented "I'm the one who caused it by slashing big holes in the fucking condoms."

"Language" Wendy snapped.

Stan added "well after that stunt I sure had to snap my belt on you."

Jerry admitted that was the worst spanking he got.

Soon they were hearing the booming heartbeat through the Doppler.

Wendy's pregnancy checkup went well.

On the way out the Marsh's saw Doctor Clyde Donovan who was Jerry's pediatrician. He congratulated them on being pregnant with a second child.

On their way home they stopped at McDonalds and Jerry had a blast on the playground.

It was that evening at 6 PM Wendy sat down in the living room. The family agenda that night was to look at Jerry's grades in school.

Stan said "we got your report card in the mail and it's very good."

Jerry replied "of course it is" arrogantly.

Wendy smiled and said "maybe one day you'll be a teacher but I sure hope you don't teach the kids bad things. I think for your entire childhood you'll be nothing but a modern-day Dennis the Menace."

Jerry had a smirk on his face and suddenly Wendy started to scream.

Stan asked "what's wrong?"

Wendy answered "oh nothing I think the baby just kicked me."

Jerry laughed and said "maybe you deserved it."

Wendy snapped "that's not funny you little shit."

Jerry yelled "whoa dude."

Things appeared to have calmed down. Stan began talking to Jerry and Wendy observed.

All the sudden Wendy let out another scream and suffered a big miscarriage.

Jerry Marsh went to school in the morning. All the kids were met up in the hallway just before the bell rang.

Kate and Melissa both walked up to Jerry as they noticed he was standing up against the lockers.

Kate said "we heard what happened. Your dad called our parents."

Jerry turned to face his friends. He said "here I am a complete world class fuck up. I slashed my dad's condoms because I wanted him to knock up mom so I'd have a sibling. Now the plan was in vain."

Kate said "shh" and reminded him to watch his language in school.

As Kate put his hand on Jerry's shoulder he choked back tears.

Mark Tucker walked up and told Jerry "what you did was wrong but I'm truly sorry for your loss."

Jerry nodded and said "thank you."

Then Jerry went on to say "I don't think I can handle school today. My whole life sucks."

Mark put his arm around Jerry and then Jerry pulled him in for a hug.

Mark said "okay now we have to get to class."

Jerry said "I can't" and then started crying.

Mark hugged him tighter and said "I'll take you to the counselor."

Mark Tucker knocked on Counselor Kenneth McCormick's door.

Mark told Jerry "everything will be okay."

When Counselor McCormick opened the door Mark said "my good friend Jerry Marsh really needs help. He's devastated after his mother had a miscarriage."

Counselor McCormick smiled and they entered for an entire day of counseling.

THE END