this is it folks the last chapter and its all fluff from here. I decided to just post them both because there are no new revelations. enjoy this! Can't wait to get you through the next short installment of the story. IT goes over a vacation. and in their usual fashion these ladies can't seem to stay out of trouble. when I say short, I mean it's ten chapters less than this one LOL so short-ish. Till next time! S.K.

Forty Five

Jade stretched out her legs in the warm sand and wriggled her toes contentedly, as she watched the crowd milling around the island. It was late afternoon and the party was in full swing, with buckets of assorted seafood on one side of the neatly made campfire, and a standing bar with plenty of ice, beer, wine coolers, and champagne for the guests.

She herself had downed four or five Bacardi breezers, and was in a pretty darn good mood, sitting there in the shade with a plate of lobster, shrimp and rice balanced neatly on one thigh. Tori was on the other side of the fire, talking with Mariela, Rob, and Ceci, and another knot of guests were clustered around where Alastair and her father were trading tall tales.

Nice.

Jade bit into a spicy shrimp and chewed it. The island looked great, nothing like she'd ever imagined it could ever been like in her childhood. There were comfortable bean bag chairs scattered around, and neatly dug in Lucite tables for drinks and dinner, and to one side the most incongruous looking Christmas tree she'd ever seen.

It was purple, for one thing, and had bright pink flamingo and bright green palm tree lights. And it was surrounded by piles and piles of presents. Some were theirs, some were their guests - all of whom seemed to be having a great time.

Jade rocked her head a little from side to side and hummed along with the music emerging from the strategically placed speakers. It was one of Tori's favorite songs, and as she watched her wife across the sands, Tori started to dance a little to it.

Oo. Jade grinned. That was so cute. She took a swig from her bottle and leaned against the tree, glad of the cool breeze and the gorgeous day, and another successful party.

"Hey there, Gigi." James appeared suddenly and plopped down beside her. "Penny fer your thoughts."

Jade glanced at Tori, then glanced at him, then blushed.

"Heh." Her father chuckled. "You having a good birthday?"

"Yeah." Jade nodded. 'It's great... the best part is having you and mom here, though." She gave him a quiet, serious look. " Means a lot."

"Mmph." Jim grunted. "Well, it means a lot to us too, honey." He folded his hands and propped them up against an upraised knee. "Sometimes ah just have to slap the side of mah head cause I can't believe having all this back, after going and losing it."

Jade reflected on this very long speech thoughtfully. "Does it ever feel like a dream to you?" She asked.

"Yeap." Jim nodded. "It does."

For me too." Jade found herself adopting the same pose, resting her hands on her knee. "I look back to where I was a year ago, and it's like remembering a whole other lifetime." She gazed off across the ocean, it's surface lightly ruffled with the odd wave. "It's so hard to believe, sometimes I just have to think it's a dream." A pause. "A dream I just hope I never wake up from."

They watched the revelers in silence for a while. "Well." James eventually commented. "Better a dream than a nightmare, that' s for sure."

"Mm." His daughter agreed.

Jim drew in a breath. "Gigi, when you were a kid, you wanted something real bad." Jade looked at him. "Was a time you made a choice, but the Navy didn't like that choice much." James stated. "So they told you no."

"Yeah." Jade agreed. "That they did."

A small silence. Jim seemed to be deep in thought. "Wasn't the Navy that said no to that, Jade Giana." He finally went on. "I made that choice for you." He looked at her. "Ah told them to tell you no."

And Jade met his eyes with only the faintest of smiles. "I know." She replied softly. "I've always known."

Her father's eyes just stayed on her, a stunned look on his face.

"It.. um.. " Another half smile. "Was in the computer files." Jade looked away now, out at the horizon. "For a while, I thought maybe you figured I'd embarrass you by not measuring up, and this was just your way of making sure I didn't have to go through all that."

"Ah did not think that." James finally muttered huskily.

Jade just nodded. "Then I figured maybe you knew me well enough to know I'd never have fit in with the Navy." She exhaled. "Then I finally just settled on knowing you made decisions the same way I did - you trusted your guts and let the chips fall where they fell."

James blinked. "You are the damndest thing."

Jade turned her head towards him and smiled, this time more broadly. "Did you really think I'd be mad at you?"

Her father blew out a breath. "Lord, Ah had not the first idea what you were going to think about this." He admitted. "Been wanting to tell you for the longest time, and here you just up and trip me right down into a big old mud hole."

A chuckle. "I was mad." Jade said. "Then." She looked up and around, and shook her head. "But sitting where I am now, having what I have - it was the right choice, dad. We both know that."

Time to lighten up a little, Jade realized. "Besides, with my usual luck I'd have ended up in charge of something, and you'd have had to salute me. Then what?"

James thought about that, then he laid a long arm over Jade's shoulders, and looked at her. "Ah woulda followed you straight into hell, that's what." He said. "And been proud to do that."

Jade didn't say a word, but her jaw muscles clenched visibly, and she swallowed. Jim nodded in understanding, and just pulled her a little closer, both of them accepting the moment in all it's richness, with a very similar desire for wordless peace.

Ceci wandered over to where Tori was sprawled and took a seat on a conveniently placed rock right next to her. "Hi."

One lazy eye opened and regarded her benignly. "Hi." Tori replied, with a smile. "Having fun?"

It was nearing sunset, and the fire had been lit, pots of seafood and vegetables already sending hints of spices across the island. "Yes, I am." Ceci replied. "You got sunburned."

"Mm. I know." Tori stretched her tired body out and rubbed the bridge of her nose. They'd managed to string a volleyball net between two half submerged trees and played a vicious several rounds in the water.

So she was pretty tired out, and was glad to retire to her towel spread neatly over the sand and busy herself checking the inside of her eyelids out for leaks. Now she rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her hand. "What a gorgeous day."

Tori heard Ceci's acknowledgement, but fortuitously, her eyes happened to have fallen right on Jade as she'd made the comment, and now her thoughts wandered pleasantly off as she gazed at her wife's sunset lit form. Mmm. Jade was wearing her black swimsuit and she'd just come out of the water, droplets glistening on her skin as she shook herself dry.

Between the golden light, Jade's natural tan, the faintly see through fabric and the strong body easily visible beneath it…

"Tori?"

"Mm?"

"Do you go off into these lustful hazes all the time?"

Wide, startled brown eyes blinked, then immediately turned Ceci's way.

"Uh." Tori felt a powerful blush warm her skin. "Bu… I..um…"

Her mother in law snickered unkindly. "Boy, do you ever show your thoughts on your face."

Tori covered her eyes with her free hand. "Jesus." She sighed. "Sorry about that."

"Why?" Ceci asked. "Despite the Republicans claim to the contrary, there's really nothing wrong with being sexually attracted to the person you're married to."

The comment, as usual, came from around the corner and struck Tori's funny bone unexpectedly. She burst into startled laughter, attracting Chino's attention. The Labrador rushed over and started kissing her, which only made her laugh all the harder.

"Hey, hey.. what's going on here?" Jade's voice floated over. "What's so funny?"

Tori absolutely could not look up at her. She almost inhaled half the beach as she put her head down and held her stomach, laughing so hard she was finding it tough to breathe.

Jade took a seat next to her and waited, watching Ceci snicker quietly to herself. "Someone." Jade stated, in a low, no nonsense voice. "Is gonna let me in on this joke, right?"

Tori rolled over and looked up, to see cool blue eyes regarding her over the edge of Jade's sunglasses. She immediately dissolved into giggles again, and hid her face. Jade looked at her mother, and raised an eyebrow.

Ceci cleared her throat and stood up, having a firm belief in discretion being far the better part of valor. "Your father's calling me. Gotta go."

Uh huh. Jade slid down onto the sand and stretched out, waiting for Tori to finish laughing. Eventually, she did, and rolled back over onto her back.

"Oh god." Tori exhaled, rubbing her face. "Your mother."

"My mother." Jade repeated obediently. "Was telling knock knock jokes?"

Tori peeked at her from between her fingers, then smiled ruefully. "No.. it's my own fault. She came over here to talk to me, and I was dozing off I guess, so I woke up and rolled over and.. um.." She paused, and scratched her nose. "You were in my line of sight."

Jade waited to hear a further explanation, then cocked her head when none was forthcoming. "So I was what you were laughing at?" She asked, in a tone of mild bemusement. "Didn't think this suit looked that bad.. " Jade frowned, and started plucking at it. "You should have told me that before, Tori…. I mean.."

"Shhhhh." Tori covered Jade's mouth with one hand. "No, sweetheart, you look totally awesome." A pause. "That was the problem." She removed her hand. "Apparently my opinion on the subject was um…. Obvious and your mother made a joke about THAT."

"Oooohhhh." Jade grinned. "I get it now. She caught you looking."

A tiny smirk tugged at Tori's lips. "Yeah."

Jade's eyes twinkled. "I'm flattered."

Tori briefly wondered what would happen if she just reached up and pulled Jade's head down for the kiss she really wanted to give her. Later, Romeo. She chastised herself, with an inward sigh. "Having a nice time?"

Jade had uncapped a small bottle of Noxema and taken some on her fingers, and now she started spreading it over Tori's skin. Got the nostrils flaring almost at once. Jade bit her lip to keep from smiling and kept up her task, running her hands across Tori's shoulders and feeling her lean into the touch, the warm skin under her fingers growing perceptibly warmer. "I'm having a great time. What about you?"

"Getting better every second." Tori replied, her voice husky. She cleared her throat a bit self consciously, and glanced around, then up at Jade, a plaintively beseeching look on her face.

Jade chuckled, and wiped a bit of the cream across Tori's pink nose. "I'm going to grab a dry shirt from the boat, you want one?" She handed Tori the jar and accepted her partner's nod. "Be right back."

Tori tucked the cream into her bag and sat up, wrapping her arms around her upraised knees. The crowd was milling around closer now, and she spotted James and Ceci heading her way.

Jim had a large album tucked under one arm and as he reached her, he sat down on the rock and laid it on his knees. "Hi." Tori greeted him, as Ceci circled around to the other side and sat down. Rob and Mari drifted over, and Sinjin sat down next to her as well. "Whatcha got there?"

"What ah have here." James stated. "Is pitchers." He glanced at the now interested crowd. "Seeing as it's Gigi's birthday, me and Cec figgured you all'd like to see what that kid looked like as a tot."

"Ooohhhh…." Sinjin let a eager rumble escape as he scrambled over to get a better spot. Everyone crowded around close, including Alastair who put his hands behind his back and peered over James's broad shoulder.

James opened the album to the first page, and smoothed the time yellowed plastic down. "This here's about at five minutes. "He pointed. "Yelling already." Alastair quipped. "Shoulda known."

Jade took a moment to rinse herself off in the shower before she removed her suit and pulled on a pair of shorts, along with a tank top she tucked into them. Then she regarded her reflection in the mirror. "Hey, Beach rat. Haven't seen you in a while." She greeted her scruffy mirror image, wind and salt sodden hair and all.

"Ah You don't look so bad for an ancient almost 29 year old." Jade raked her fingers through her hair to give it some kind of order, then she fished in the small chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of shorts and a soft cotton shirt for Tori. Then she wandered through the boat's compact cabin, stopping in the galley to retrieve the quart of chocolate milk she'd tucked into the refrigerator.

It had been a great day. Jade reflected, as she walked out onto the stern and uncapped her milk. She took a sip as she watched the crowd out on the island, all gathered together near the fire. She could hear the laughter from where she was standing, and she took a moment to try and expel the wonder at what she was looking at.

It was hard to fathom. Here she was, standing on the deck of her boat, looking at her little island, and it was full of her friends, and her family, and her lifelong soulmate and partner.

Mine. Jade took another swallow of milk. Wow. Then she smiled, and shook her head, as she leaned against the pilothouse's support poles. Life was good. Complex, but good. She knew she had some tough decisions coming up in the near future, but somehow, those hovered out beyond the holidays, past the golden week she had planned with Tori.

A whole week, just the two of them out there together. It would give her time to think. It would give Tori time to heal. They'd both just been through a month of hell together, and damn it…

Jade paused and thought about that for a moment. They had been through hell for a month, hadn't they? And the last week had been tough, and bitchy.. they'd both been off balance and out of temper…

And it had only brought them closer together.

Jade put her milk down on the edge of the deck and shivered in the light breeze, as the truth of the realization seeped through her. Even with the tension between them, she'd never felt even a hint of fragility in their relationship, no touch of doubt, no sense of fear that perhaps they were headed down a sad and familiar road to distancing themselves from each other.

It was as though they'd laid down a foundation so strong, the worst storm could only dampen the surface.

Jade wrapped that thought around her as she made her way down the ladder and back across the pontoons, a gentle smile on her face.

Ceci intercepted her halfway down. "Hi." Her mother had her hands stuck in her pockets.

"Hi." Jade said, stopping and peering down. "Need something?"

Hm. Ceci considered the question. "No, I've got everything I need right at the moment." She stated. "But I'd like to give you something, and I'd rather it be in private."

Uh oh. Jade blinked a little. Now what? "Um.. okay." She agreed slowly.

A faint grin flashed off and on her mother's face. "C'mon." She led the way back down the pontoons, past Jade's boat to the one behind it, which belonged to her and James. She was aware of her daughter's intense curiosity as she followed her, the long strides making the wooden bridge rock from side to side. "You don't have to worry, it's not anything that would embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I wasn't, really." Jade replied. "I just thought we had all the boxes under the tree."

"Mm." Ceci climbed aboard their vessel and felt the boat move as Jade followed her. She entered the cabin, but stopped just inside, forcing Jade to stop as well. "One thing." She turned and faced her daughter. "I want you to promise me something."

Jade felt very off balance. She was a little buzzed, and she'd been in the sun all day, and her brain wasn't working nearly as well as it usually did. "Huh?"

"Promise me something." Ceci repeated patiently. "It's not that hard, honestly."

"Okay. What?"

"Promise me you wont ask me how, or where I got this from." Ceci asked, feeling more than a bit nervous. "Okay?"

Jade leaned against the doorway, feeling the warm teak wood against the skin of her shoulder. "Okay." She agreed, completely at sea. "I won't.. why would I anyway? You don't usually ask people where they…"

Ceci had opened a trunk just inside the door as Jade was speaking, and now she lifted something out and held it out.

Jade's voice trailed off as she stared at the object, then slowly she reached out and took it. Her eyes absorbed the contrast of slate gray against still vivid color, details meticulously etched by a careful and very patient hand.

Her careful, and very patient hands, which had first built, then painted the model aircraft carrier many years before.

Ceci just watched her. There was so very much about their joint past she could not change, but this one little thing she'd been bound and determined to. It had taken a while, but she'd persisted in gaining back one of the largest bones of contention there had ever been between them.

Even Jim had been shocked and angered at her when she'd gotten rid of Jade's models.

Jade finally drew a deep breath in and looked up and away from the ship, her gaze open and wondering. "Wh.."

"Ah ah ah.." Ceci shook her head. "You promised." She covered the intense emotion she felt by indicating the chest. "The rest of them are in here.. I don't know if you even have room for them but I…" She heard a slight scraping sound as Jade put the model on the table then felt the warmth as she approached. "Thought you might.. " A hand gripped her shoulder, and she felt herself being turned.

Having little choice, she went along with it and found herself facing her daughter, and in the moment their eyes met Ceci felt like a mother again. But she didn't really get a chance to absorb that before Jade did something very unexpected.

She stepped forward and put her arms around Ceci, and hugged her.

Good goddess. Ceci managed to respond in kind, wrapping her arms around Jade's strong body and giving her a healthy squeeze. The last time I did this… She let out a small breath. The last time I did this she was ten years old. "Jade… I'm sorry. I wish it'd been different for us."

"I don't care." Jade closed her eyes, and just hugged harder. "It's different now. That's all that matters."

Ceci felt herself lifted up a little, and she gained a new perspective on why Tori took such care to remain strong and fit. You could get a little bent otherwise. But it felt good. She hugged her daughter and smiled, enjoying the moment thoroughly.

Jade stuck her hands in her pockets and smiled, feeling a tiny cloud of wonder following her around as she made her way off the bridge. It lasted just long enough for her to get across the sand, and realize what everyone was looking at. Jade could feel a slow burn of embarrassment start to heat her skin as she slowed her steps and heard the laughter.

Tori was kneeling beside her father, one arm draped over his shoulders, pointing out something on the page with one finger. As the laughter rose again, she glanced up and their eyes met. In a twinkling instant, the amusement vanished from her face, and she stood up, giving James a pat on the shoulder as she pushed through the crowd towards Jade.

It took all of Jade's considerable self discipline to not simply turn and leave.

"Hey." Tori sounded like she was walking on verbal eggshells.

"I didn't realize I was the party entertainment." Jade replied, in a clipped tone. Another spurt of laughter, and her whole body jerked, stilling when Tori reached out and touched her stomach in a reflex action. It was hard to believe just how angry she was.

"Jade." Tori frantically sorted through her thoughts for a way to prevent the impending explosion she could feel about to take place. She knew that if she allowed Jade to have a meltdown right now she would be far more embarrassed. She had never really seen her meltdown and didn't know how long it would last. She frowned and thought about what she would do with her twin, so she put some pressure around her, and spoke softly. "Honey, please listen to me, okay? Before you go off the deep end?"

Jade remained completely silent.

"We're your friends and family, and we love you." Tori whispered. "Your mom and dad are so proud of you, and they want to share their memories of you with your friends. " She allowed her to take a few breaths before continuing. "Don't be upset, please?"

Jade stared over her shoulder at the crowd, who hadn't noticed her presence in the twilight shadows. Her face was still and closed, the pale blue eyes remote and very cold. Then, as though a switch had been flipped, Tori felt the body next to her relax and she heard Jade sigh.

"I hate those pictures." Jade muttered. "I look like such an idiot."

She shoots, she scores. Tori wrapped an arm around her lover. "You do not." She protested. "You were such an adorable baby, Jade. I wanted to just squeeze you." She did so, getting a soft grunt out of her partner. "Especially that one picture with you in the bunny suit."

"Eemph." Jade grimaced. "I'm gonna go wait on the boat."

"No.. no no.." Tori kept hold of her as she started to move, digging her heels into the sand with a remarkable lack of success in stopping the motion. "C'mon.. c'mon… Jade, please?" Her voice broke on the last word, and it actually made Jade stop, and turn, and put her arms around Tori.

Oo. Have to remember that. "Come over and look at them," Tori pleaded gently. "Please?"

The very last thing in the world she wanted to do was go look at ugly old baby pictures of herself. Jade exhaled unhappily.

But, on the other hand, it would make Tori happy. Was she willing to do something she really, really didn't want to do to gain that result? Jade tilted her head and regarded the serious Honey brown eyes looking back at her. "I'm not comfortable with people getting this close to me." She admitted very quietly. "It's crossing a line I'm not sure I want crossed."

Tori absorbed that, her lips pursing as she considered the statement. "My life was lived so much in the public light, I didn't even think of that with you." She said. "I apologize, Jade. I should have stopped your father." She looked up into Jade's eyes squarely. "Forgive me?"

Like I have a choice? Jade felt a smile pull at her lips, as she surrendered her dignity and simply wrapped her arms around Tori and started towards the group circling her father. What the hell. Jade endured the sudden glances, and grins with wry stoicism. "All right, which one of the seven thousand bad baby shots is he showing you now?"

"Ah, Jade… you were such a sweet baby." Mariela smiled at her boss. "So cute."

"Mm." Ceci agreed, with a nod, catching up to them as they reached the rock. "I was going to pitch her as a baby model, but she bit the photographer."

Everyone looked at Jade, who grinned, then they made room as Tori and Jade settled at Jim's side. Tori put an arm around Jade's waist and rested her chin on her wife's shoulder. "What on earth were you doing there?" She pointed at a small, square Polaroid of a perhaps five or six year old JaeJae in denim overalls on a very fuzzy, very unhappy looking animal.

"Riding a llama." Jade sighed, remembering the Pirate World adventure during one of Jim's infrequent leaves. "Neither of us enjoyed the experience, if I recall."

"Ya'll were pulling on his ears, Gigi. What'd ya expect?" Jim drawled.

"Ah, is that where you got the experience to do that?" Alastair kidded her.

"Yeah.' Jade reached up and grabbed her Chairman's ear, giving it a healthy tug as he yelped. "So you better watch it."

The laughter rose again, but Jade felt a bit more comfortable with it this time. She released Alastair's ear, then bent her head to regard the next page.

"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you… happy birthday dear Jade… "

Jade listened to the chorus of voices, the cacophony evoking only a relaxed grin from her. They were in a circle around the fire, plates full of food balanced on laps, and mugs of alcohol being freely passed around.

Jade was mildly drunk and she knew it. Tori was even more so, sitting next to her, with her sturdy legs sprawled out and an arm draped over Jade's thigh. She let her head lean back against Jade's hip as she related a funny story, her warm tones echoing out over the water.

It suddenly seemed oddly familiar. Jade felt a flash of almost memory as she set her plate aside and let her arm rest across Tori's shoulders, nursing her mug with her other hand. Was it the fire? Some sliver of memory from her much younger years, some time spent out camping?

Laughter. Jade smiled, as Tori's voice rose a bit, taking on a subtle, yet deep timbre. The sound echoed slightly, and Jade suddenly felt if she closed her eyes, and opened them again…

But no, there they still were at the fire, with their friends around them, the San Francisco night sky twinkling overhead.

Strange.

"Well, I tell you Tori, that's a heck of a way to spend a birthday." Alastair said, as Tori finished her tale. "I think I'd have given them up after that."

"Well." Tori ran her thumb lightly along Jade's inner thigh. "I did… for a long time, until I moved down here." She paused. "And took my life back." Her face settled into a quiet reflection, and the tenor of the crowd changed a little, as people took the moment to dig into the excellent stew and munch on crusty garlic bread.

Tori took a sip of her beer, and gazed out over the water, glad of the solid, warm presence she was leaning against. Ceci and James were on the other side of Jade, and Sinjin was seated next to her, and she found herself very glad to be in this firelit circle surrounded by her friends, and family.

Her family. Tori took another swallow of beer, knowing sitting in the sand covered in salt and sun tan lotion wasn't anything her other family would ever have caught themselves dead doing. Not even Trina or Shelby, who loved her, but who loved their privileged lives just as much. "Y'know, Jade?"

"Mm?" Jade selected a bit of carrot sticking out of her stew and offered it to Tori.

A smile crossed Tori's face as she accepted the offering, licking Jade's fingers as she munched on the carrot. "I don't think I ever fit in at home."

"No?"

"Nope." Tori wondered, briefly, what would have become of her if she'd stayed there. Not taken the chance and jumped at the impulsive move to a state as far away from her home as she could get. "Glad I decided to come find you."

Jade chuckled softly. "Me too." She agreed. "Otherwise I'd have had to come to Connecticut and terrorize the area until I found you."

"Think you would have?" Tori imagined coming around the corner in Meijers and finding Jade. "Maybe you'd have… " She thought a moment. "Found me at some job fair and hired me."

"Nah." Jade mumbled around a mouthful of stew beef. "Something more dramatic.. how about… oh… I rescued you from being captured by slavers and took you away for a life of vagabond excitement and crusading traveling around the world."

They were both silent for a moment, deep in thought.

Tori rolled her head back and looked at Jade. "Honey, I love you but you've been streaming too much Xena again."

"Hey.. I could have said we'd go off and become crocodile wrestlers."

Tori laughed, and Jade joined her, pulling her closer and sliding down off her log onto the ground so they were side by side. Rob started a story of his own, and Tori listened, as she tilted her head back and regarded the canopy of stars.

Were they twinkling at her? Watching her?

Was her mother up there somewhere, finally in a place where lies didn't work, and the truth was like a harsh light that could blind if you weren't prepared for it?

Did she know the truth about her now? And if she did, would she ever accept it, or would she go through eternity damning her for being something she fought so hard to suppress in herself?

Tori found the Big Dipper and traced its outlines. Goodbye, momma. She let out a small breath. In spite of everything, I really did love you.

A soft voice tickled her ear. "Whatcha looking at?" Jade murmured., gazing upward with her.

"Just the stars." Tori replied. "Look at that patch, Jade." She pointed. "You think that looks like a bear?"

Jade pressed her cheek against Tori's and studied the pattern. "Nah." She shook her head. "A pig."

"A pig?" One of Tori's eyebrows lifted. "How about a pig riding a bike?"

Jade didn't answer. She just smiled.

A/N From Melissa:

That is, for now, the end. Yes, there'll be a sequel.

A/N: From S.K.

Outlaw Ocean next…