A/N: As you may have noticed, I am using "*sentence*" to show mental speech between Milniss and her host. However, when I create/revise chapters on the FFN app on my phone, it removes the first "*" if there are no words before it. This problem does not exist when using my computer, and later opening my phone. I am attempting to verify that this glitch is fixed before updating any future chapters, but if you see an ending "*" without a beginning one, that's why.
Thank you for those who have left feedback for the first chapter. We'll get into corsets and corsetry shortly, I promise! :)
After a quick goodbye to Felicity-the longer one being the previous night, and as I wish to respect her privacy, will say nothing other than it was emotional and cathartic for both of us-I released control of her for the final time, and my natural body fell into the Yeerk Pool.
Here, I must speak briefly regarding the viewpoints held about the Yeerk pool. To those who have never had a host, it is all the home and happiness you could require. Upon receiving an initial host, some Yeerks prefer the pool to it, and ask to remain there. This is usually granted, as there are millions of Yeerks, but only thousands of hosts. To take oneself out of the running, to borrow a human expression, gives the other Yeerks an increased chance of obtaining a host. It is, quite simply, beneficial for all.
Other Yeerks held no strong opinion. They viewed infesting their training host as an interesting experience, perhaps enjoyed the sensations their host provided, but would be as happy with their prior life as with the responsibilities associated with host-holding Yeerks.
Then, there are those like myself, who found the senses wonderful, and very much wished for a permanent host. Even among us, though, there are levels of desire. Some become so addicted to having senses that they delay feeding until on the brink of starvation, just to have them for a few more hours. Others prefer the Yeerk pool to a host, but believe in the empire mission, and enjoy the physical and social benefits of being a host-holding Yeerk.
Certainly, my preference is for a host over a lifetime of being blind and helpless. Yet, I never viewed the Yeerk Pool as a prison, nor my need to feed as a weakness. If anything, I thought the Yeerk method of nourishment was far more effective than any of our hosts. While it is true that Hork-Bajir are beneficial to their environment, as they eat only tree bark and must cultivate trees, humans, Gedds, and Taxxons kill in order to feed. Human vegetarians claim moral superiority for only eating plants, but who is to say that plants don't feel pain? Killing is killing, whether it's an apple or a cow.
The Yeerk feeding method has been compared to photosynthesis. I suppose that is because we absorb the rays of the sun through our bodies. The comparison ends there. Still, we take nothing from our environment in order to feed, and our manufactured Kandronas have yet to fail naturally. Yes, they can be destroyed, but it's been speculated that they can last for a thousand years. Longer than any Yeerk lives.
Some Yeerks choose to use their three hours in the pool to socialize with friends and family. Others set their sight on the process of feeding. There is no taste associated with feeding, but we experience nourishment, and we certainly feel the warmth of the Kandrona on our bodies. Felicity once asked me how it felt to feed, and I showed her a memory. Because that is impossible to do in writing, I will say it's a combination of a massage and sunbathing. To be sure, it is very pleasant, especially if you have waited until you experience hunger pangs before feeding, and it's little wonder that many Yeerks prefer to, as humans would say, bask in it, without distraction.
I, myself, neither sought out nor avoided friends and family. There is ample time before the Visser or sub-Visser arrives in which to socialize, and you are more acutely aware of who could be listening. After joining the Peace Movement, I found myself very much aware of the need to be cautious of all communications.
A few moments after I felt my feeding cycle complete-it would do no harm to remain in the pool, but no good, either-I heard a message instructing me to report to the infestation area. This was no surprise. Instead of an ear, a hand would pick me up. I echolocated my way there, firing off rapid clicks of sonar as the line progressed. As I swam closer to the pier, I could gauge the reactions of the hosts waiting to be infested once more. From outright voluntary hosts to resigned ones to those who fought even after their head was placed under water. Unease filled me as I saw this.
Would such a host be resistant no matter how they were treated, as some of my kind claimed? Or, were they controlled by a Yeerk whose loyalty to the empire meant punishment for any form of resistance? Then, there were the few who outright delighted in hurting their hosts, although if found out, they were often sentenced to either Kandrona starvation or, for more likely, months without a host. Most Yeerks hated those kind, especially those with voluntary hosts. We can be fiercely protective of our hosts, even those with involuntary ones, and the idea of hurting for sport can fill us with rage.
But Felicity had been reassigned to a Yeerk who had infested two prior humans, both voluntary. Her new Yeerk had no history of mistreatment, same as myself. She was in no danger of host abuse.
Then, I felt hand lifting me up, followed by the unpleasant sensation of air. Yeerks can reside in a liquid environment other than the Yeerk pool for as long as a feeding cycle, but we must not go without hydration for more than an hour. Even after mere seconds, I felt discomfort, and had I experienced this sensation as a human with Yeerk limitations, I would have squirmed.
Thankfully, the hand immediately placed me in warm water. It was not the Yeerk pool, but I was comfortable. I swam around happily, stretching and contacting myself, making the most of the time being able to use my natural body before I would encounter a new host mimd. Host sensations are intoxicating, and simply to be able to see is a breathtaking experience, but there's much to be said about being able to move around freely.
I waited. I had heard once, and later it was confirmed, that Andalites know exactly what time it is without needing the aid of human devices, or even a glance at the sun. Yeerks have no such ability. A human, subject to waiting, could read a book or magazine, or speak to another person waiting. I had no such options. I was not bored, though. While away from the nourishment of the Kandrona, I was in warm water, and this felt pleasant against my skin. I felt no hunger, nor would I for two and a half days. Moreover, soon, I would have a new human host. While I would have preferred to remain with Felicity, there was always something exciting about being assigned a new host body. Since this Julia was also human, I would know what to expect.
Or so I thought.
Felicity always complained, after I was inside her head and had released control, about how horrible the infestation process had been.
I hate losing control, Milly. But it's a million times worse losing it little by little, and not knowing what's next* she'd grouse, after it was over and we were away from the Yeerk Pool. *If you could do it all at once, or at least in a way I can expect, it would be so much easier. It's like I'm in a horror movie.*
I could sympathize with her discomfort, and if I viewed her most recent experience, I could certainly emphasize. While there was almost no pain involved when a host is infested, the experience for a new host was always scary (sometimes terrifying), and even after growing used to it, there is always a level of unease. This never disappears, even if it can diminish. The small consolation, for Felicity, was that we were friends and she knew that it would be over shortly. To those hosts with truly unfeeling Yeerks, it must be only the beginning of two and a half days of misery.
I also felt guilty because the infestation experience was as pleasant for myself as it was unpleasant for my host. After being blind and helpless in the Yeerk pool, I suddenly had access to a body again. Eyes, limbs, ears...all were mine once more. And my instincts told me I HAD to take hold of them, to control them.
Once situated in the center of my host's brain, after I'd carelessly shoved her aside, I'd recall that my host was there as well. That the control I'd seized had once belonged to her. I might not have hurt her, but I had forcefully taken her autonomy. I would give it back, of course, as soon as we were away from the pool. During the early days, even after she became voluntary, Felicity would sulk for at least an hour. Sometimes, she'd even refuse the control I offered, preferring to stew until her bad mood wore itself out. Later, as I learned to be rather more gentle, she would simply accept the unpleasantness.
It's a small price to pay, I guess* she would grumble. *Since I get to have you back in my head.*
That warmed me more than I would have cared to admit.
Much later, I learned that there were Yeerks who fought their impulse to seize control. They were of the Peace Movement, or at least of the same mindset, and had trained themselves to be able to enter the ear and make their way to the center of the brain without pushing the host away. They taught me, and Julia appreciated it immensely, and I often wished I'd learnt earlier.
Now, I felt a disturbance of the tank, and echolocated to find a head. I immediately swam towards it, located the ear, and began to climb inside. There was another disturbance, but it stopped. Probably, my host had attempted to move her head. Either she was resisting, or had simply been startled. The latter happened during the first infestation of 95% of voluntary hosts. The Yeerks who handled the initial infestation were always prepared, and kept the head down. I hadn't seen any chains around the head. They often still used them, even with voluntary hosts. I'd known from stories, as well as my experience with Felicity, that they hurt. I was glad they my host, and I, wouldn't need to deal with them.
I sprayed plenty of painkiller, knowing it wouldn't stop the initial throb, but it would be a memory long before I had full control of my host's body. Human brains are structured the same way, and the pathway to the center is the same, but you must create your own map the first time. This is why some Yeerks initially encounter memories before they connect fully, and why it's impossible not to take full control the first time. A host could have been infested by ten or more different Yeerks, and each would need to draw out its own "map."
As I made my way further in, I could detect emotions. There was some fear, but also bemusement. A little excitement, combined with...regret, perhaps. Mostly, there was anticipation. She wanted this infestation to be over with as much as I wanted to reach the center of her brain. Why? Did Julia believe she'd receive control immediately afterwards? Or, was it the discomfort of waiting, and having her head against the glass container?
I couldn't ask her. I just moved inward, taking control as I did. Finally, I was at the center, and gently pressed my palps down on the nerves. I was fully connected to my host.
"Miliss 626 speaking," I said, clearly. "I have full control of this human host."
The hand holding my head released it, and I straightened. Except, it was only my head that had not been straight. I frowned slightly. Based on my previous experience, mostly watching first-time infestations, a Yeerk had to straighten their host's entire body after taking control. But I was entirely upright already. In fact, now that I thought about it, there was a warmth and pressure around me from just below my shoulders to over my hips. It was as comfortable as it was foreign. As discreetly as possible, I placed a hand along my host's side. She wore a shirt, but underneath, her frame was far more firm than human skin.
Are you* I began, slowly, *Entirely human?*
Julia laughed, and the memory came as soon as her response. *I'm human. It's just my corset.* She paused, then added, *I do historical films, you know? I wear them for my job.*
Well. This would certainly be a new experience.
A/N: There you have it! I had to create a backstory, first, but going forward, corsetry will be a major part of this fic. Again, nothing above PG/LOW T rating.
Thanks to those who have followed and left kudos. If you have something constructive to say, or even a word of support, I would appreciate it. Pretty sure this is the only corset fic in the Animorphs community!b.*
Well. This would certainly be a new experience.
A/N: There you have it! I had to create a backstory, first, but going forward, corsetry will be a major part of this fic. Again, nothing above PG/LOW T rating.
