Falling Back Into Chaos

by rrabbit

A collection of myths I always found fascinating told from the point of view of the women who were forced into difficult situations and relationships. Each chapter is a stand alone story that will weave and overlap with the others to form one over all narrative. Starting with Eros and Psyche, my retellings are mature and will get progressively darker and more twisted.

4. Chapter 4 Hades and Persephone: Part III

Hades and Persephone

Part III

I don't even feel the heat anymore.

In fact, it feels almost cool against my blood dipped skin. The river is calm and content with my return, its liquid fire slowly oozing and bubbling against the shore line. I stand at the helm of the great ship and stare unblinkingly into the distant darkness wondering about life, and love, and unattainable power with the eerie green glow of lightbringer illuminating my face. The vials of sacred water clink and clank against each other in my bag as the blood drips from my hands, my nose, my chin… my entire body.

Time is a circle.

Time was cruel, mysterious, and impossibly beautiful. Time held divine secrets. Cronus shared some of these hidden things with me. Sacred rites I will bring to the sun kissed mortals above. Secrets I will tell to those only worthy enough to know.

Time is a circle, he whispered with his fine lips pressed to my ear, his hand pushed against my heart. Time changes everything and nothing at all.

The ship slides to the shore line and I jump off of the railing onto the glass black sand below. I walk over to Hypnos who still struggles against the curse and I tilt my head to stare at him as wet hair falls over my shoulders and covers my breasts. He is troubled. He is in pain. His mind screams out for me… for Lord Hades….. For his mother… For anything or anyone that will listen- but no one can hear him in the depths of this punishing inferno. No one but me.

Surely he must know that.

I put a bloodied hand on his cheek and stare into his winter storm eyes, wondering what he tastes like. Perhaps of ancient wonder and boyish delight… of sadness, and of fear, and ugly truths after years of scorn. Perhaps he tastes like a dream… one of those wonderful dreams where everything is perfect and as it should be.

But he is not mine to have, or taste, or touch… so I leave him there, stuck weeping in his godly prison.

I walk into the deep dark with lightbringer in my right hand. I see nothing but feel everything as the creatures of the pit hum and vibrate around me. They are odd things… ugly things… but they dream in the darkness of being something they are not… something special and sunkissed and desired. They crawl on their bellies dreaming of day and damning the cosmic order of things. Cursing those that deemed them unworthy of air and light.

I promise one day I will bring them to the surface. One day they will know Helios and all that sings above. They will have their moment in the sun as all things living should.

The thick heat hits me, but I push against it and begin running with only lightbringers sickly green flame for company.

I remember running through the trees in my mother's sacred wood. Her warm coloring. Her soft skin. Sometimes running felt like flying. Like a bird that had freedoms I did not. To go anywhere… and see anything… but the bird was no more free than me. I realize that now. They were encumbered by the primal needs of their kind. Need to eat, mate, and rest. Nothing is truly free. Not really. We are all slaves to our needs. Even me. Even my mother. Even Lord Hades. Even the unseen creatures in the pit. Want and desire were just as much a prison. To want nothing… to need nothing… that was true freedom…That was Chaos in the void of time… but not a freedom I would ever know because I wanted too much…. I needed too much….

I needed to feel my hands buried in the earth and prayers upon my light.

I needed a mother's warm embrace and a man's longful gaze.

I needed to make love, and flowers, and life.

I needed everything…. I wanted everything…..

I run with godly speed until I make it to the cliff of our descent and I begin my climb to the top with lightbringer stuffed still flaming into my bag. I find my grip on the spiky rocks that jet out from its body and suddenly I am the spider, every part of me weightless and moving. I am all the creepy crawling things in the deep dark wet that scale walls and hide in crevices. I climb with speed and reckless abandon until I reach the top and I climb through the hole, letting the large metal disc shut behind me. What should have taken years- took only hours because I was made swift, and determined, and perfect.

A golden shiny thing.

I take only a moment to think of the darkness below before leaving the cave with a swoosh of cool air that shocks me into purpose. I look upon my kingdom with new eyes as I walk through the meadows and shadowed woods- chilled by a sunless sky. Taking in its wonder, and beauty, and frightful possibilities- I realize that this place will stand long after Mother Gaia says her goodnites forever. We were a world apart. A celestial plane all onto ourselves. When Olympus falls on that dreaded day- we will stand. A sanctuary and prison for divine light that can never be destroyed or recreated.

I pick the white moon flowers that bloom in the darkness and I begin knotting them into a crown that I place upon my head. I am the queen of the dead earth and the never ending darkness. I am the queen of decay, and disease, and springtime showers in a midnight moon. I am the queen of eternal rewards and divine punishment. I am both merciful and pitiless in my judgments.

I am death and rebirth.

I am all that I am.

One day we will lock our gates and fill in our caves… one day we will be the last strong hold against the coming night and after that there will be no more sunshine. Just the cool chill of our sunless world and the oppressive heat below will remain. One day I will be the only Queen that matters- forever blossoming in the eternal darkness with the shadows of the other place at my back gently sighing in my ear.

I walk the great hall of Cerberus, my feet leaving bloody footsteps in my wake. It seeps through my pores…spills from my nostrils…. My ears…. My eyes…

Like a mortal- I was born in blood and bathed in their sacred rites.

The hound of Hades is upset to see me as I am and he lets me pass with a fearful bow of his three fearsome heads. Charon does not ask for payment and I do not offer as I step into his boat. His black creature eyes stare at me as we move along the water, with the foggy mist surrounding us like a well worn cloak. The dead on the banks tick and twitch and their eyes shine in the dead light, but they fall silent when I reach the shore.

I find Sisyphus in the rocky shadows, hidden in one of the deep crevices.

He says nothing as he crawls out, a gray ashy dead thing. He looks at me with wide, fearful eyes as I reach into my bag and hand him a vial of glowing liquid. His shaking hands take it and then he falls to his knees before me. I want to tell him to drink, to live again, to right all the wrongs done to him and his house but I do not. I can not. It doesn't matter. Not anymore. I walk away instead, back to the boat and back to ancient Charon who stares at me suspiciously.

"Time has placed his poisoned lips upon yours," he says as I step beside him. His voice is a cave dwelling drip. "You are not as you once were."

He was not the same either. He used to be a large black cloud that rolled among the stars and ate planets. He used to be fearsome, massive, and impossible to comprehend. Now he ate coins and contained himself in a suit of bones and ash, forever in servitude to the darkness below.

I leave him and the whimpering Cerberus to walk the length of my kingdom. Watchful eyes glitter behind the walls to spy on me, whispering in low, worried voices… but I care not for them. Let them see, I think to myself. Let them behold. As I make my way through the Swamps of Sorrow, a mist rolls in from the Midnight Mountains and covers the land in a dense fog that smells of sadness and decay. It is unpleasant to me, and I crinkle my nose at its warning, but I continue on as I need only to see my Lord Husband to feel well… to feel whole once again.

I find a hollowed out tree covered in thick moss and decide to stuff my bag inside. I hide the sacred vials in the darkness while lightbringer still burns in its sickly green flame to show off my theft, but I care not. Let them find it. The bloated corpses with shining eyes rise from the depths of the swamp and watch me with curious intent, their heads barely above the murky green water. They are from the Shadowlands beyond. A place not yet known to me but soon all will be my dominion in this prison of light. I stare back at them for a moment, neither afraid nor disgusted, and I continue to stare until they slink back into the filthy swamp where they belong.

I turn to make my way to the dark palace… To the judgment hall…. To Lord Hades… To my throne… Behold, I will tell them as I crown myself in glory…Behold the wonder.

Lord Hades holds court. I can hear him now with my approach. I can also hear all the tittering voices of the godlings and hosts that call this place home. Only his greatness carries through this darkened kingdom with clarity, traveling along the walls like veins full of blood so all can hear… all can know… when their king is speaking. I press my bloodied ear to the door to listen for voices. He speaks… and then Thanatos…. And then a woman whose voice is ancient and old. She speaks in the old tongue…. In a language of hisses and whispers that stirs something primal in my young heart.

I wait for her to finish before pushing open the doors.

The white clay caked eternal beings with wings stand in their judgment- but now their eyes are open- burning red hot fire and staring deeply into my light. Lord Hades stands on the dais, staring at me from over his strong shoulder. Cloaked in midnight and with immense power- he is a wonder to behold. My husband. My king. My lord supreme….The lover whom I did not love. The protector who could not protect me.

The one I was made for.

The gallery is full of godlings and nymphs. They do not speak, or whisper, or exchange looks anymore. Though I recognize each of their terrible faces- they look upon me as if I were a stranger. The blood trails behind my naked body, all over the black glass floor that swirls and twirls with each step like a living thing… a monstrous thing. Suddenly I am the slug- leaving a slimy trail in my wake. I look up at the deadly court before focusing my gaze on Lord Hades. The lighted torches on the walls cast strange shadows on his face and he looks so unforgiving in their pale light.

It is no wonder clayborn's shake in his presence.

There is so much I wanted to tell him, of course. I wished to tell him that there is a lake below, after all. A large lake full of clayborn blood that seeps deep into the earth and past our kingdom to feed the creatures and gods below. A mercy given to them from Mother Gaia and Father Erebus with whom they are still loved… even just a little.

He turns to me completely before I get to the stairs and he holds up his hand as if to stop my approach. The clay creature with his star fire eyes raises his flaming sword- but Lord Hades orders him back with a snap of his mighty fingers. His dark brows are furrowed and his eyes are suspicious… shrewd…I wanted to run to him and fold myself around his body. I wanted to whisper secrets into his ear. I wanted to tear him to pieces.

"What has happened?" he asks. His voice is deep and it booms across the great hall in an echoing wail. "Where is Hypnos?"

Had I expected affection from him? A warm embrace? He repeats the question- his voice is more firm and commanding. How I love the sound of it. I tilt my head as more blood leaks from my borrowed eyes and drips from my chin.

Instead of answering, I walk up the steps to take my throne. I place myself upon the seat and curl my bloodied hands around the arm rests. It is cold underneath me. My body burns so hot now and it sends a chill through me. Lord Hades watches carefully and then dismisses the gallery of curious onlookers who are reluctant to depart.

He looks old now and tired… and perhaps he is worried.

Such a silly thing to be.

"I fear I have grown arrogant in my old age," He says as Thanatos comes creeping out from the shadows. His voice has changed now… weary sounding and resigned.

"My brother too," Thanatos whispers, coming forth with swirling gray eyes that seem to stare right through me. "He was so sure of his power… so sure Cronus would not catch the scent of sweet flowers and become curious…"

Curious.

I remember what it is to be curious.

I tilt my head back and stare at the arched ceiling…to the burning balls of light that spin and twirl above.

I remember watching the night time sky and wondering about the stars and the other worlds so far away. Did they have their own hosts? Did Chaos spew out more of us that are not yet known and what powers did they possess? What could they even look like being formed so far away?

I remember following the ant, the caterpillar, and the bee. All pieces of a living puzzle… all answers to a question no one seemed to ever ask that fit together so tightly. There is this and there is that and one can not be without the other.

I remember wondering about life, and love, and happiness. About sex, and rage, and transformations. Love has the power to transform you… but so does anger. It makes you ugly and deformed. Like an open wound on your heart that becomes infected until you are no longer who you once were.

"Your father is out of practice," Thanatos says. I feel his eyes on me again, but I am too busy to bother. "He is lacking in detail."

"Yes," Lord Hades agrees, this time his voice has lost any of that lingering emotion. "He is not as strong as he used to be."

"Hm," Thanatos nods his head. I never noticed how birdlike he was… with his hooked nose and long hair slicked back as it is now. "Is she an offering, perhaps?" I look at him and feel overwhelming hatred. Why? I do not know. His darkly painted hands run over his lips and I wish to snap them off at the bone and throw them into the river of fire. "Or a warning? Perhaps even a gift?"

A gift.

"An invitation," Lord Hades replies as I watch curiously. "He knew I would not accept…" he trails off- unwilling to divulge more. He glances at Thanatos, his voice serious and stern and so very attractive. "I will need your mother for this task… and the Erinyes."

Thanatos expression does not change, but his body tenses just the slightest. How funny and offputting he seems.

"You know she will not answer, My King," he answers, flicking his swirling gray eyes to mine and seeming confused by the way my nostrils flare in his direction. He smells of the shadowlands beyond… of a musty old world no longer known and the scent repels me. "She concerns herself with nothing at all anymore."

"Do it anyways," Lord Hades says in annoyance, his sparkling eyes back on mine. I muse over their color and wonder if I prefer them to red. "And fetch my helm."

Thanatos looks upon his king with his thunderstorm eyes, thoughtful for a moment. A formidable opponent- Thanatos and all the others in the dead earth had decided to accept Lord Hades as their king even though he was not one of them. He was not of the darkness. He did not belong in the deep dark wet. Not at first, anyways. It wasn't because he was older or more powerful. There were many down here who were far more ancient than he… many who woke within Chaos and witnessed the first dawn with new, shining eyes.

It wasn't because he had chosen the shortest lot and they had no other choice but to give him a crown. They were a world apart and cared nothing of Father Zeus and his desires. No, he was their king because they chose him. Because he respected them in a way the ones above did not. He revered the dead earth and the tasks they were born into and in time that power became his own.

He brought order to the darkness and they loved him for it.

I wonder… if they could love me too?

Thanatos nods his head and gives a respectful bow before leaving the judgment hall.

Once alone, Lord Hades looks to me again- his face serious and troubled.

How I longed to tell him what I have seen. The wonders shown to me by his father were greater than anything I could have ever imagined. I feel myself smile and he seems unnerved by it. But he had to understand that Cronus was a generous host who longed to be free. He didn't want power… he didn't want war. He wanted to rest. True rest with the children he had made of the earth that have settled their light in the Blessed Isles where even Lord Hades could not walk. Children he made perfect. Free of age, disease, and hunger… Children destroyed by Father Zeus in a fit of everlasting rage…. Never to be made again.

I could not say any of that. Instead, I walk towards him.

"Your heart is beating so incredibly fast," he whispers when I am right in front of him, his head tilted down to study my face. His purple eyes are so beautiful. I wish I could eat them and keep them forever.

I do not answer- instead I grab his neck and kiss him hard, curling up on my toes to reach and to pull him closer. I press my blood soaked body into his and snake my fingers through his hair. He does not exactly kiss me back- but he doesn't move away either.

Is that how it felt when he first kissed me?

He smells of fear. I used to be afraid too. Afraid of him and his sex and this kingdom. But what did a host like Lord Hades have to fear? His father. Yes. Cronus was his great torturer… the looming monster of his life… and me? Yes. Now he feared me too.

How funny.

I remember the fear when his chariot burst forth from the earth to claim me as a bride

I remember the fear on our wedding night. How heavy his body felt against mine. How large he was as the oath flame burned its words into my insides.

I remember the first time he focused his all consuming attention on me.

I remember when he took my innocence with a sharp jab and warm, wet kisses at my neck.

I remember all my failings and insecurities… and the falling snow that followed.

I remember how I screamed for my mother.

I remember his handsome face, his firm commands, his steady fingers.

I remember everything. Everything in a life that is mine with the whispered desires of Cronus tapping the back of my mind.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

A gift.

I open my mouth to deepen the kiss and the blood pours out. He pushes me back, his mouth and chin drenched in clayborn blood, his face shocked by it.

He looks so very ridiculous.

I laugh. I laugh and I laugh and I laugh and the blood keeps coming. It flows from my mouth and onto the floor, creating a pool all around me. I fall in it and slump against the stand that holds the glowing sphere of memories. It burns with a strange black fire and it flickers different colors as I bang my head against the post. I laugh until it hurts my stomach. I laugh until it hurts my face. I feel ill now and the way he is looking at me...

He says something else- but I can not hear it. How could I when I am laughing so hard?

He leaves me then with the flaming sword of the clay creature at his side. The winged creatures of judgment stare at me with their flaming eyes burning deep in their sockets and their wings outstretched. They want to speak to me… they want to scream… but they do not. They can not. They will not. I keep laughing until a black mist surrounds the dais and the torches extinguish. The burning balls above die and the memory sphere flickers until it is consumed by the inky black darkness and returns to cast a light that's a sickly shade of green.

There is a loud whooshing noise above and I look up, seeing nothing until suddenly the great goddess Nyx appears before me in all her olive skinned nakedness. Her long face is set- serious- and her black eyes give away nothing as she steps into the light, her entire body bathed in an eerie green.

At first she does not speak, her antlers are large and cause a damning shadow to play off the wall behind her. They look like trees in a dark forest and her great black wings are the ground they sit on.

"You are made of black sand and wicked dreams," she finally says, her voice old and scary sounding…more of a hiss… but her mouth… it does not move. Her cheekbones are high and sharp- her nose long and almost crooked. She was fierce and lovely with wild black hair that hung about her head like a storm cloud. She was pure nature… one of the first beings… and she had no use for clothes, ornaments, or any of the trappings of civilization. She was darkness… All consuming and always waiting. "You are not to be."

"I am a gift," I say, finally able to speak but the voice is not my own. It is too deep… too hoarse… Too strange.

Cronus had called me as much. A gift for a son who would never forgive him. A gift for a kingdom who would never accept him. A gift for all those lonely souls in the world above who would never know him as king.

A gift given the breath of his everlasting light to walk among the trees, and rivers, and valleys. To laugh and love and be all I never could be.

She doesn't reply. She just stares at me, her black eyes sparkling with the ancient wonder of the cosmos. She was no friend of mine- she meant to do me harm. I know it… and I go to run, but she grabs my arms and slams me down.

"A kindness," she hisses. "A kindness," she repeats as she straddles my body, suddenly loving as she caresses my cheek. "A kindness to all."

I remember kindness.

Kind is the most important thing a queen can be, of course.

In a world of ugly hardness and violence- why was it so wrong to still be soft, gentle, and kind? No matter what my sisters thought… or my husband… or my mother… True kindness was a rare gem. Something to covet. Something to celebrate. A selfless sacrifice. An empathetic understanding. Where was the kindness in Night's pointed fangs? Where was the kindness in her sharpened talons that hovered over my chest, waiting to strike?

Beautiful little fool, Cronus had called me and perhaps he was right. But I am a gift. I am winter and I am spring. I am life and death. I am everything and I am nothing.

Suddenly I am the day, shining my light so bright to combat the coming night… but the night comes anyways as it always does.

Great Nyx digs her hands deep inside my chest, cracking my ribcage and pulling it open with a sickening pop. A scream gets caught in my throat. The pain is very real and nearly unbearable but I can only think of Lord Hades as Great Mother Nyx tears out my still beating heart.

My fingers turn to sand. My body disappears between the cracks of the breathing glass floor to return to where it came from and suddenly I am the ghost. Sad and unseen with no one to mourn me.

But I remember my life and what it was to live.

I remember stories told around the fire and the warmth of a mother's embrace.

I remember running wild in the forest with the rabbit and deer.

I remember my sisters and brothers and my father so high.

I remember sweet kisses and secret smiles.

I remember everything… and then nothing at all. … because time is a circle spinning around and around….

Ancient Nyx places my heart upon the empty throne as a gift for my husband and all those below. A kindness so he would not be forced to do it himself. A kindness for me to not feel that betrayal so deeply. Kindness was the most important trait, of course. Kindness moved mountains and made bitter things sweet. Kindness was milk and honey and the great relief of burden. Kindness was brilliant Elysium and sun kissed smiles.

Kindness was a stolen heart on a blood soaked throne, left throbbing and alone.

I return to the sand… to the nothing… to the deep darkness… to the place where everything will one day be… and I remember that once I was a living thing… a true thing… A kind thing… a shiny golden thing….

Time is a circle- Great Cronus had said as he formed me in the darkness and birthed me in a lake of blood with his mouth pressed to mine.

Time is a circle and it comes for us all.

---

I wake screaming.

I scream and I scream and I scream until soft hands rush over to remove the wrapping on my eyes. I blink at the light and the familiar ceiling- but the itchy, burning pain that is suddenly everywhere makes me thrash about.

"Be still, my love."

My mother's voice calms me. My pained eyes try to focus on her as she hovers above me.

"Cronus," I say, panicked and remembering. "Cronus!"

"Shh… yes," she whispers, placing a cool hand to my feverish head and pushing me gently back down. "You are safe now."

I try to settle myself and then glance around my bedroom. The pink flowers I painted on the walls are faded now… the paper stars I hung with string have started to fall…my wooden toys still sit on my shelf covered in dust. This was a child's room. I was a child… until I wasn't. Until adult things happened that I was not altogether ready for. I lay back and throw my arm over my eyes as they burn and something thick and sick oozes from them.

"Why does so much hurt?" I ask as I feel the heavy, sticky leaves on my chest. My voice is scratchy from screaming… shaky from misuse. "Why do I feel so much pain?"

"Healing from such a mutilation is very painful."

I remember now, of course. I remember the damning darkness and Cronus' deep and haunting voice. His touch was like a burning fire and his kisses were ash. He whispered such sweet promises and he touched so many sacred places… I would never be clean of him.

"He took my eyes," I whisper, uncovering my face and looking again at the hanging paper stars as my eyes blur and seep. "And then he ripped out my heart."

I look down at the leaves on my chest and pull them away to reveal an angry red line between my breasts- held together by the glowing thread of the fates. A soon to be scar of my own. I look up at my mother, sweat at my temples as she sits on the edge of the bed and gives me a sad little smile. Leada is in the doorway, a helpful nymph holding a tray of colorful elixirs.

"I'm sorry, my sweet," she whispers, kissing my forehead. "I thought my brother knew better. I thought he was smarter. With all his flaws and my hatred of him I thought… at least… he would protect you from something like this."

"Where is Lord Hades?" I ask, part of me is worried I am still buried in the deep, dark sand.

I can remember the look on Great Cronus' face as he held me down, his hands around my wrists and his knee pressed between my thighs. He was smiling. It was such a handsome, inviting smile. One could easily fall in love with it. So straight and sharp his teeth….How they sparkled in the darkness. So finely made was his nose, his jaw… his lips. How very much like Lord Hades but somehow completely different. His silver hair hung about his face and across his brow. I remember how he flicked it away from his eyes and seemed amused that I noticed. The orange glow of the river of fire illuminated the sharpness of his features and made his red eyes glow.

What a magnificent and terrible creature he was.

How frightening.

How lovely.

"He is where he belongs," she says, her voice tight in anger. "As you are where you belong. Now you should rest," she says, placing the sticky leaves back on my chest and motioning to Leada to hand her one of the potions. "You are not yet ready to rise," she says, carefully wiping the puss away from my eyes with the corner of her veil. "You should sleep."

I nod and let her tuck me into the bed clothes, drinking the medicine that makes me sleepy. I close my wounded eyes and memories that are not completely my own begin to come to me. A memory dripping with clayborn blood and burning with affection for Lord Hades. I remember laughing in the misty darkness. The sparkling black eyes of the ancient and the pain. So much pain.

The white hot pain.

The unbelievable pain.

The excruciating pain.

A painful kindness.

Kindness. Cronus had called it that as he buried me deep into the ground until I sunk into the waiting halls of true night in unparalleled agony.

A gift.

Tartarus had called me a gift as he sat me at his celestial table after falling through the thick, slick mud.

"What a gift you are," his voice whispered.

Perhaps it was a dream. Perhaps my mind could not comprehend what Great Cronus had done to my body- but Tartarus- in the form he took for me- was heavenly and made of wonder. His skin was of the nighttime sky and his eyes blazed like star fire.

"Soon we will all become the gifts we wield" he had said, his voice pleasant and not at all expected. He wore a tall crown made of smoke and golden dust and behind him was a looming host with the head of a jackal who stood stoic under the archway. They were ancient beings of the before time when the universe was new. I was nothing in comparison. "Soon we will all just… be. Can you imagine?" he asked. His star fire eyes forced me to see without any eyes of my own. "Just being?"

I could not speak as my voice had been taken from me and a large hole sat empty where a heart was once beating. He lulled me to sleep in the ancient tongue until Lord Hades, with his host of many, came and ripped me from my resting place.

There were shouts, and blows, and laughing. So much laughing. Cronus had a wonderful laugh. It sounded hearty and pleasing to the ear. It was a lover's seduction by a burning hearth and a piercing blade into soft flesh.

"I have tasted your flower," he laughed in between blows and broken teeth that were slow to heal. "I will taste it again before our time is through."

He laughed no more after that.

Lord Hades' rage had silenced him and buried him deep inside the ground.

Yes, I remember now.

He carried me from the darkness and into the pale cold light of his kingdom. He gathered my missing parts and brought me to the damp halls of the Fates where the maiden, mother, and crone sat waiting in the earthly chasm among the piles of glowing thread. The stars burned fire behind them as the tapestry of every life that ever was or could be hung about their stone walls.

"We are not long for this world," said the old voice in the shadows. "Soon we will be the rock, the stream, the trees..."

"Our thread will turn to marrow and flow like blood in the veins across the sky," said the youngest.

"No more favors," says the other more mature one with silver wisdom at her temples. "No more questions. Fate is fate and death is death. What will be will always come in the order of the universe."

"You will fix her," he said, laying me on their altar. "You are not yet a tree."

"You always want too much, King of Dead Things." The older one snapped viciously. "You always claim too much. You're not even supposed to be here!"

They were screaming and hissing…. Hissing and screaming….

I remembered nothing but pain after that.

I dream of nothing and rarely stir as my body heals and puts itself together. Sometimes I can hear my body working to fix itself, my divine ears catching the slightest changes within. My bones fusing back together sounded like footsteps on dry grass… My blood moved through my veins like a ship gliding on water…. My eyes secured themselves in place with a gentle click… My stomach ached, my head throbbed, my heart struggled to beat and reconnect.

It was an all together terrible experience.

I wake fully to a winter's chill with frost forming outside my bedroom window. On unsteady legs, I pull myself from the bed and notice a long white dress draped over my side table. It's of a thicker fabric, full of layers, and embroidered with yellow flowers and golden beads. By its side is a fur lined cloak the color of the Earth. My hair is already braided and tied over my shoulder with a yellow ribbon. I play with the silk for a moment, distracted by the feeling of it as I look down at the raised scar between my breasts. It was a faint thing now, hardly noticeable… not like the angry red lines on my mother and Lord Hades. I dress as quickly as my shaky body will allow and I steady myself against the walls to walk from the room.

I call for my mother- but she doesn't respond so I go outside to find her.

The ground is snow covered and the trees are painfully bare, looking naked and uncomfortable in the cold. I wrap myself up with the cloak as small flurries fall down from an ugly gray sky. They land in thick wet chunks on my shoulders and hair so I throw up my hood, my eyes blinking against the brightness. There is a lush path of healthy green grass where my mother has walked so I follow it to the creek's edge.

She is speaking to someone who has broken through the ice. She is on her knees, hunched over to hear better so I can not see with whom she speaks.

"Mother?"

The thing in the water slips back under the ice and my mother turns to me. She wears a fur lined dress with long sleeves that cover her hands. How strange to see her dressed that way. She stands and comes over to me, putting her hands on my arms and giving me a gentle smile as the snow freckles her hair that she wears loose and curled about her.

"I thought you would be ready to rise soon," she says, her lovely face pink with winter's wind and her hair a copper fire. "I could sense you stirring."

"Why is it winter?" I ask, looking at the snowflakes and holding out my hand to catch some in my palm. I watch them melt on my skin… My eyes still hurt- the bright whiteness all around the woods makes them sting so I cover them for a moment.

"Winter will always come now," She explains, watching my face carefully. "No matter where you are. This world turns and the sun moves… It is a reminder of your time below."

A bird chirps above us and I look up to find it. It is a red thing with a black beak.

"This is not a trick?" I ask, looking at her when the bird flies away. "This is not a deception of Cronus?"

She comes closer and places her hands on my cheeks. She looks so very sad as she presses her forehead to mine.

"This is no deception," she says. "You are safe at home with me… Cronus can not replicate love. He has never known the feeling. So you just have to close your eyes and feel it… that is how you will know if this is real or not."

I do love her and I feel her love for me… so I accept her answer because I want to believe it and I let her embrace me even though I would prefer to not be touched.

"You look much better," she says, pulling back and smiling as her lovely eyes dance across my features. "The color has returned to your cheeks."

"How did I come to be here?"

She presses her lips together for a moment before answering. "Hades knew you needed Helios and a mother's love to heal. He brought you up later than he should have…" she stops herself from complaining more. "But he did eventually do the right thing… which was very hard for him, of course."

I resist replying to her insult of Lord Hades' character. Instead, I bend down and pick up some snow in my hands, crunching it into a ball between my fingers and liking the feel of it.

"Do the clayborn hate the winter?" I whisper, furrowing my brows.

They pray onto my light- begging for warmth and food, and mercy. They scream, and cry, and worry about their lives and their children with their crops buried under a thick blanket of frost.

I never thought about it before, of course. Winter brought with it death and the unknown. Suddenly I felt guilty for writing it upon the walls. I look up at my mother- feeling unwell.

"Many die in the cold, do they not?"

"Some do," she says seriously. "But many die in the summer heat too. They will get used to it. They have already found ways to survive."

I frown at that.

"Children seem to find pleasure in it," she says, trying to make me feel better. "They layer their clothes and wear leather boots to build towers, and people, and balls that they throw at one another."

I say nothing to that. I let the snow slip from my fingers and I stand up, wiping the wet remains on my cloak.

"Must I return to the dead earth now that I am awake?" I ask curiously, looking up at the sky. "Surely Lord Hades can sense it."

I place my hand on my stomach where his blood fruit rests and remember the sweet taste of them… and him. I blush despite myself and turn slightly away so she will not see.

"He will call on you no more."

"No more?" I question, looking back at her.

"All this trouble has made him see what I have always known- You were not made for the darkness. You have no business being in the dead earth among the dead things where the sun can not reach. You don't belong there and neither do your gifts. Your potential has been wasted and you are not safe by his side. That much is clear."

"And I belong here?" I ask, looking up at the trees again. "In your woods… in your home…With your things?"

"It is your home too," she replies, speaking gently so she doesn't upset me. "What is mine is yours for always."

What is hers maybe mine if she allows it- but what is mine will never be hers because I have nothing worth giving.

"How long have I been above?" I ask, suddenly unsure as I look into the forest. It feels different… it has changed without me knowing and the wind tells stories of things I do not remember.

"It takes a long time to heal from Cronus' violence… and you are so very young…"

"How long?" I ask, suddenly panicked at the thought as I look back at her lovely face.

"You have been healing for two years," She says, going to touch me again to reassure me. "You needed the rest."

"Two years?" I say in disbelief. "Two years…"

"...Is nothing to us," she says to get me to understand. "Sometimes we must move slowly… we can move slowly…. When time does not change us."

"Time changes all," I whisper, thinking of Cronus and his damning red eyes. I turn away and run a hand over my face. "Did you sleep for two years when you were sewn back together?"

"I did not have the luxury," she answers, looking down and playing with the bracelet on her wrist. "You are loved. I was not. I was born into pain and forced to heal in constant fear of retribution. I wish my mother would have given me a safe place to rest- but she did not. She could not. Traumatized as she was then."

I can not respond to that. Who could? Her history would always be more traumatic than mine and I had nothing to offer. Instead I give her a small smile to show I am sorry for being so careless with my words and then I turn away, to walk among the trees and along the creek's edge. She walks with me, leaving green grass in her wake as the wood hums and comes alive with her approach because this was her sacred forest and to all within she was Queen.

I am not a queen here. No one reveres me on the living earth and I doubt they ever will.

After a little while, she takes my hand and intertwines our fingers to tell me of her new creations. Many days spent hovering over her work bench with her light and her thoughts on how to better connect the world have now produced a low, leafy green fruit with white flowers that turns into an edible red berry…. An odd smelling vegetable with nutritious roots that grows under the ground…and a spindly green ivy with creeping vines that grows steadily up towards the sun.

I once cared for such talk. I would sit beside her at her work station and watch in awe as she used her gifts to create beauty and function for the world that she loved so much. I would ask her questions trying to understand her mind and powers. Why was it this color? Why did it smell good? Why did it taste bad? Why did this give the body nourishment, but this poison? Why? Why? Why?

I don't care now.

"Can I ask you something?" Her voice is serious when she realizes I am taking no pleasure in her conversation.

I glance at her. Her lovely profile is so much like my own but she was more beautiful, of course. Age had made her features sharper where mine were more round. Her eyes were weary where mine still seeped yellow pus from the corners.

"Is Hades cruel to you?" She stops walking, forcing me to stop too. "Has he ever hurt you in any way?"

It was something she never asked… something she did not want to know and it surprises me that she would bring it up now.

"Hurt me?"

"I mean has he ever used his power to make you unsafe?" She frowns a moment. "Many of our sisters have suffered the rage of man and it's not only their strength in body that can do harm."

"No," I say quickly so she would have no means to doubt. "He is not at all charming," I continue so she will not mistake my meaning. "I mean that he doesn't have that fake charm that other hosts have. He can be charming- in his own way, I suppose. I find him to be very genuine in his thoughts and feelings…" I trail off. Why am I even talking about all that? She doesn't want to know that her kidnapping brother is a tolerable lover. "He has never used his strength against me," I say finally. "He has never hurt me… physical or otherwise."

She watches carefully now, her purple eyes dancing over my face.

"Why did you enter Tartarus?"

I don't answer. I turn to the trees instead and listen to their voices. A large willow tree grows near the ice covered water and it sings such a gentle song of remembrance. Hanging from one of its ancient branches is my old swing, held together by rope and a plank of wood. A relic from a happy childhood.

It seems such a distant memory now.

"I have told you since you were small about the dangers that lurk there," she says, tilting her head to get my attention, but I am lost in a memory. "Did Hades make you go down there?"

"No," I whisper, still staring at the swing and the shadow of my childhood. "No one made me. I asked to go." I walk to the tree and look up at the icicles hanging from its weeping branches. From a distance they were beautiful but when standing closer, the pointed ice looked dangerous- like a thousand little daggers hanging overhead. "I wanted to see it for myself… Perhaps to expunge my own guilt."

"What guilt?" she asks carefully.

I glance at her and wonder how she will look at me after I tell her.

"I…" I stop myself, thinking of Minthe. Now a plant forever after growing towards the sun in a sunless realm. "I let Chaos reign my heart and transformed a nymph in my rage."

She says nothing. Her face is stoic, unchanged, which is almost worse than the disappointment I expected.

"I wish to bring her above," I say in resolve, looking up at the ice as the sun shines through it like curved glass. I sit on the snow covered swing. It creaks under my weight and the branch above slightly bends. I begin gently pushing back and forth with the balls of my feet... "I will plant her in the summer heat and let her multiply in the meadows of men. Perhaps that will ease some of the heaviness on my heart."

She watches me carefully - her divine eyes seeing something I do not.

"Tartarus is not part of Hades' kingdom," she finally says, grabbing one of the ropes to stop me from swaying. "It is a prison beyond all known things. He should not have let you go alone. Especially after such an emotional upheaval."

"I was not alone," I answer, thinking of Hypnos and wondering if he is still on the shining rocks below.

The guilt is back… it is a thick sap in my mouth.

"But he was not with you," she says, turning away and dropping her hand from the swing. "All these years and lessons learned- and he is still idealistic and thinks himself impervious to danger. He was always so hopeful…Hopeful that there was more to this wretched life… more to these cursed gifts and never ending tasks. Always so hopeful that things would change for the better and that the fighting would finally cease- but he was wrong."

I glance up at her as she has never spoken of Lord Hades to me in such a way. How beautiful she was in the snow… so colorful and pink and pleasing. I wish to always remember her this way.

"He is always so wrong."

I can not answer that- so I remain silent.

"Can I walk you back?" she asks, wiping her eyes like she was crying- but I see no tears.

"I would prefer to stay here," I say, folding my hands on my lap and swinging again. Back and forth. Back and forth with a gentle push of my foot.

"It will be dark soon," she says as she looks up at the sky and the falling snow. Each snowflake is so intricate… so beautiful…. Another work of art on Mother Gaia. "The days are so short in the colder months."

"I care nothing of the darkness anymore," I say honestly.

She stares at me and then tells me she has work to do and wishes to return home. When I tell her to go without me- she seems hesitant. Once she would never allow it. She would order me to return with her because even her sacred woods weren't safe in the moonlight… but now she begrudgingly agrees.

Before she leaves- I call out to her.

"When I was buried in the sand- Tartarus welcomed me into his hall." She turns- her brows pressed together. "He said one day we will become the gifts we wield. Does that mean one day we will turn into our gifts? Like Mother Gaia and Father Ouranos?"

She says nothing for a few long moments before shrugging.

"I do not know," she whispers.

What would she be? The seed that grows the grape? The stock of wheat in a golden field? The land on which the farmer tills? And me? Maybe I would be the flower that returns in spring or the solid oak tree where lovers meet. Perhaps I'd be the shadow against a funeral shroud… or the last rattling shake of a person's final breath.

Perhaps I would be nothing at all. Just a distant memory in the minds of those who never knew me well at all.

She leaves then and I find myself surprisingly alone. No nymphs or hosts of my mother's choosing are here to watch over me and I find myself strangely proud of my mother for the restraint. I listen to the sounds of the forest and the hidden animals who burrow deep in the ground to avoid the cold. Their song is the freezing song of winter and the hope of a sunny spring that I will one day bring them.

I start swinging. Pushing higher and higher until my feet nearly touch the branches above and fresh snow shakes loose from the tree to fall all around me. For a moment I feel the hazy dream of my childhood returning. That carefree never ending summer of hope and possibility.

What a gift it is- to be young.

I close my eyes and remember when my mother first put the swing up. How I watched in excitement as she climbed up the tree and tied the divine ropes to the thickest branch. She was so much fun then… always doing things to make my life full and not as strict as she grew to be in my adolescence. I was small enough to be held and gently pushed and I remember how she lectured me to hold on tight- to not let go. Never let go. She laughed when I laughed as my joy was hers and her joy was mine because we were two sides of the same coin. Intertwined in love and responsibility to one another.

I remember feeling like a bird. I would close my eyes and flap my arms- imagining I was soaring high above the clouds. What a sweet memory that was and how it strangely comforts me now. I close my eyes and tentatively put my arms out in an attempt to recapture the sensation. I smile a little to myself, tilting my chin up to inhale the crisp winter air as I pump my legs to fly higher.

Suddenly I am the eagle, flying above the mountains on the back of a rainbow.

The tree moans so I open one eye to look up at it… and then one of the ropes snaps in half with a sickening crack. I fall unceremoniously to the ground with a loud thump, landing on my bottom in the snow.

My childhood is a distant memory replaced with the pain of my fall and another pain comes when the swing smacks me in the back of the head with its wooden seat. I grab it before it can hit me in the face and I use my god's strength to pull the rest of it down with an angry tug. But I am stronger than I once was and the entire branch comes down with a thunderstorm boom. I have to roll away to avoid it and when it hits the ground, it seems to shake the whole forest.

The tree weeps in loss and I cover my wounded eyes for a moment with my cheek pressed into the snow, feeling guilty for having mutilated it.

When the willow's song returns to normal, I roll on my back and stare up at the tree covered in frozen ice, feeling betrayed and embarrassed. I narrow my eyes for a second, angry and wanting to place blame on something instead of an old rope and an old swing not meant for my grown up body.

Forever the dignified Queen.

Could I imagine Mother Hera falling from a swing? The long sleeved dresses she preferred getting tangled against each other in the air as she fell flat on her back? No. I could not. She would never. Or even strange faced Queen Amphitrite? Would she ever fall in such a way? No, she would flutter off gracefully and land on her perfect little feel.

The snow stops for a moment and I stand up, dusting off my cloak and giving one last look to the ancient willow tree that is glitterally beautifully in the sun. I know I will never come back to this particular place again. Perhaps it's best to keep certain places a shrine to what once was.

That way they won't throw you to the ground and smack you in the back of the head when you've outgrown them.

My bare feet buried an inch deep in the snow, I decide to walk towards the edge of the wood to rid myself of the fall. My thoughts become jumbled and overlap each other. Thoughts and feelings not completely my own fight for dominance and the wood seems strange- unwelcoming for the first time in my life.

The blood… my mind seems to whisper before I shake it away… Holds wonders.

I find a small plant, struggling under the weight of winter and reaching out to an indifferent sun between two stout trees at the forest's edge. I dust it off and shine my light upon it, making the snow melt as its bushy petals thrive up towards the sky.

I smile and find myself content if only for a moment.

I bury my hands into the ground. Mother Gaia's body is hard and nearly frozen but I push through and crumble up the dirt between strong fingers so I can rub it over my cheeks. How I have missed the feeling. I scoop more out to run down my neck and I dig and I dig and I dig until I am down to my elbows in the earth.

I can finally hear Mother Gaia sing.

She sings a strange song.

One of longing and regret.

Of forgiveness and revenge.

I place my head in the hole I made and press my ear to the frozen dirt. She sings in the ancient tongue. In the language of the wind and sky and the before time when the world was new…Her voice is so incredibly close now, like she was whispering secrets right into my ear. I close my eyes and dig my hands deeper into her body to get as close as I possibly can. To be near her. To feel her. To imagine what she looks like as she places her warm arms around me.

Persephone!

I jump when she screams my name and watch in horror as two ancient hands break free from the dirt to grab my own.

Persephone!

Her skin is wrinkled and thin, with ropey veins that are scattered along the surface like worms. She grabs me hard, her strong hands wrapped around my wrists as she starts pulling me into the dirt. I panic, and fight against it. Her hands move to grip my upper arms and I tilt my face up as I sink into the ground that is suddenly soft and malleable. She puts her hands over my shoulders, squeezing and tugging until my face is pressed against the earth. She just keeps saying my name, over and over and over again like she had forgotten how to form words… but I could feel her urgency… her panic…. And it frightened me.

"Stop," I say, struggling as the hole opens more and I sink deeper into Mother Gaia's waiting womb until my legs disappear like quicksand and my body slips into the ground like it was water. "Stop it, Great Mother."

She pauses.

She is still and her song does not sing for a few moments. Her hands loosen on my shoulders and I use the distraction to pull myself from the dirt and onto the snow. The earth is silent, with only the beating of my frantic heart for company as I stare at the ancient hands still sprouted from the ground like strange flowers. Then as quickly as they came, the hands retreat into the ground and Mother Gaia sings her solemn song once again. The panic is gone… the urgency has faltered and she is the all knowing mother once more.

"What was that?" I whisper as yellow puss gathers at the corner of my eyes.

I stand up and rub the sick away with my filthy cloak, managing to get even more dirt on my face from the action. Mother Gaia has never spoken to me… Not directly. Never directly. She has never spoken to anyone. Not really. Maybe my brother, Arion- but he was just a simple host and she has not bothered with others. Not for thousands of years…

And yet… she called my name… and yet… she gripped my hands. And yet… she was worried… concerned…. Scared, even.

I look back at the hole I made, staring at the spot where her hands came forth to grab me. What did she want? What was the meaning of all this and why did everything about me feel so suddenly wrong? I shake off the bad feelings and climb back into the hole. I lay down on the dirt and curl myself into a ball as Mother Gaia sings a sweet song of spring and forgiveness.

I can imagine her caressing my hair and cradling me in her arms like a child. I stare at the roots and rocks in the dirt and wonder about my life and my future. It is hard to see when the horizon is so hazy, of course, and sometimes I can't imagine a future for myself at all. I'm tired of such thoughts and my body is aching so I close my wounded eyes and let sleep take me, wrapped in a cosmic blanket.

I wake to the moonlight.

It looms bright in the nighttime sky and I pull myself from the hole just as the snow starts coming down in earnest. I shake most of it off of me. The white covered ground seems to glow and the darkness all around hides nothing from my divine eyes. It is nothing like Tartarus where true darkness reigns supreme. The fox moves nearby, the wolf howls, the owl flies overhead in a song of the forest.

I stare into the hole again… remembering Mother Gaia before the owl makes a noise as if to get my attention. I look up, squinting against the weather. Its tawny wings spread against the heavy snow as it moves seamlessly between the dark trees. It circles around me and dives so low I have to jump out of its way.

I laugh despite myself.

The owl circles again and then settles itself on a nearby branch. He stares down at me with strange orange eyes that seem to glow in the dark.

"What a curious thing you are," I say, tilting my head.

He ruffles his feathers and then takes off into the night.

I smirk and then hike up my dress to chase after him, light on my feet and barely leaving footprints on the fresh fallen snow. My cloak flies behind me and I smile a real smile for the first time in a long time. It feels nostalgic now… like running through the woods following birds was something I did in the past and was no longer part of my being. I was different now. I was changed. Still a dirty wild thing, of course, but no longer a child.

I have no idea what I am now.

The owl flies far but never so fast that it goes out of sight and I follow it to the end of my mother's sacred wood. I stop just short of the frozen stream that separates it from the unprotected plains beyond. It circles overhead and I watch it curiously against the full moon, wondering on its purpose. I'm reminded of the land below and the creatures that dwell there. The dead lights that illuminated everything in a pale moon glow used to be so frightening to me- but not anymore. It's almost comforting. The owl swoops down and nearly hits me before flying across the stream and settling on the shoulder of Lord Hades.

My breath hitches to see him.

He is cloaked in midnight robes, standing tall and unwavering in the moonlight. His hair and shoulders are covered in the fresh fallen snow and his cheeks are slightly pink from the cold. How painfully beautiful he is against the landscape so untouched and perfect. The owl watches me with orange glowing eyes and Lord Hades whispers something to him that makes him fly off into the darkness.

We stare at one another for a very long while as the snow comes down thick between us. I fear he will disappear into the blizzard of it all like a fleeting dream so I try not to blink.

"You are finally healed," he says, his deep voice carrying on the winter wind once the snow settles into a light flurry.

It is not a question so I am unsure if I should answer.

"Come here," He commands, beckoning me near with a leather gloved hand. In the distance I see his horses of night, their white glowing eyes waiting in the darkness aside his divine chariot. When he sees the suspicion on my face- he is quick to explain. "I can not cross the stream," he says. "I am not welcomed in your mother's wood."

"Have you come to bring me back?" I ask instead of answering. I cross my arms inside of my cloak when I feel the cold in my bones.

"Do you want me to?"

I do not answer that either but I can not deny I'm pleased with the way he is looking at me. Lord Hades had the penchant for being cold and aloof… stern and serious… but he was looking at me so fondly now…. Almost eager for my answer.

"My mother said you will not call me to the dead earth again."

"Yes." His answer is so short and concise.

He gives up nothing of his true intentions and I find myself annoyed that I must press for more.

"Why?"

"Because she asked it of me," he says with a shrug as he looks away and shakes the snow from his hair. I stare at him and after a while he spares me a purple eyed glance. "Now you can not sulk about it when you return. It will be of your own volition."

"You sound so sure I would choose to come back."

"Why would you not?" he asks, incredulous. "This world is not your home anymore," he says, motioning to the woods behind me. "Surely you must feel that Mother Gaia rejects you just as you have started to reject her."

"I will never reject her," I say, fiercely loyal to the one who made us all even as I shiver to remember the way she tried to pull me into the cold ground.

"Well," Now it is him who seems annoyed and he crosses his arms. "We are a poison to the living earth… soon decay will follow you just as your precious flowers do."

I press my lips together. Perhaps that is what I have been feeling… this complete uneasy change within me and all around….the way Mother Gaia screamed my name… the biting pain of hitting the ground and the snap of an ancient rope swing.

"Why are you here if you don't mean to bring me below?"

He does not answer- he just looks at me with the expansive night time sky behind him full of burning stars and possibility. He could have said he missed me- he could have said he wished to see me again… but he does not. He leaves the world heavy between us before he speaks.

"Mother Gaia is unhappy with my presence." He says instead, never once looking away. "She is anxious for my return to the dead earth. I can not stay long."

I look down at my hands that are covered in dirt. I remember that I rubbed it all over my face too and I blush because he looks so perfect and I look so filthy. My white dress is speckled with the entrails of Mother Gaia and my fingernails are black with earth. I try to wipe it away with my cloak and he watches me with his glittering eyes narrowed. He seems thoughtful now, resigned. I am used to long bouts of silence from him so I let it hang between us while I try to think of something… anything… to say.

The heavy snow returns- bringing with it a howling wind I do not recognize. It violently whips my hair about my shoulders and my yellow ribbon comes undone- flying off into the night and disappearing all together. He calls to me again… this time asking me to approach instead of commanding…. so I put aside my worries and walk through the snow to cross the frozen stream. The ice burns under my bare feet, but I do not flinch. Not when I have known real pain. He steps forward when I make it across the barrier and he removes one of his gloves to offer his hand, tucking it into his belt for safekeeping. He looks down at my bare feet, raising his eyebrows with a sigh as he pulls me out of the deep snowbank.

"Why are you barefoot?" He asks. I don't say anything to that. I am standing so close to him that I can see a few snowflakes stuck in his eyelashes. He reaches out and wipes away some puss that has dried at the corner of my eyes. "Your sight is still infected," he points out as he flicks it away and I nod, a bit embarrassed to have him see it.

He watches my face as I look back at the forest. So magical it looks in the moonlight with the twinkling stars above… so bare and covered in white. It looks different from the outside. It seemed so much calmer and so very strange… like my mother's gifts were making the whole thing vibrate and glisten.

It was once my safe place, free of danger, and men, and all the wicked plans of the earth. Lord Hades would never have taken me had I stayed within the perimeters of my mother's wood. Had I not longed for freedom… He would not be standing before me now on unsafe land- staring at me so sweetly.

"I have missed looking upon you." He says gently after a heavy silence and I glance at him, surprised by the admission.

He dares to reach out to me and decides to touch the hair loose by my face. He tucks it gently behind my ear and dares the faintest of smiles.

I smile back.

It is hard to describe or put into order what I felt for Lord Hades. He is the only person my body has ever known and a part of me was fond of him. I liked his seriousness and his rare smile. I liked that he gave me purpose and involved me in his task. But I hated the way he took me… the cold way in which I was introduced to our marriage and his world. The most terrible way he tricked me with his blood fruit…. and yet…and yet…. I missed looking upon him too.

The temperature drops and my breath comes rolling out like smoke. I bring my hand up to blow into it and smile at the funny thing I have never seen before. He takes the hand and brings it to his lips, watching me as he places a gentle kiss to my knuckles.

"May I see?" He asks and I give him a curious look. He glances down at my chest.

I nod and pull back my hand. I push the cloak out of the way and pull down the heavy fabric of the dress. He reaches out to pull the fabric apart and he looks at the scar between my breasts- his face gives away nothing but heat fills my cheeks at the exposure.

"I can hardly tell," he says gently, even though he doesn't seem to be looking at the scar anymore. "Your mother took good care of you."

"Did you not want to take care of me?" I whisper.

His eyes flick to mine- for a second heavy and dark with promise.

"I thought you would prefer to be above as you healed."

He runs his fingers along the scar before fixing my dress and bringing his hands up to my face. He cups my cheeks as his eyes dance over my features like he was trying to memorize the placement of each freckle.

"Why are you always so dirty?" he asks seriously and I can't help but laugh.

He bends down to kiss me and I don't pull away. How could I? His hand moves to my neck and I place mine on his chest, gently gripping the softness of his fine clothes that are a deep blue velvet. He deepens the kiss with a hand on my back as a blistering gale whips through the forest. It nearly blows me over, but Lord Hades stands firm and strong against it. The snow falls down heavy and hard as he wraps his cloak around me to protect us from the bitter cold. Large snow drifts roll across the plain and the whole world seems to shiver under the weight of it. I press against him, liking the way he tastes and smells and feels.

I didn't realize how hungry I was for this kind of affection ... .How I missed being consumed by him and touched and wanted and loved. Perhaps it is the marriage oath etched into my insides that makes me burn this way- perhaps it is the blood we shared… but if that is the case then he must have the same fire.

He must be burning too.

Make him burn.

I wonder if he could… if he would… take me here in the snow. In the distance I hear his horses stomp their hooves against the cold ground and something begins stirring in the woods. His hands seem to be everywhere at once and I start working my fingers under his tunic to feel more of him. His skin feels warm. His muscles are well defined and I smile when he kisses my neck….but a shock of pain hits my chest and I pull away sharply.

I stumble back and he catches me before I fall. A strange sweating overtakes me and I feel light headed at the irregular beating of my own heart. It seems to send sharp needles through my veins with each erratic thump and I gasp at the sensation as tiny dots gather before my eyes.

"You are not all together healed," he says seriously, worriedly.

He places his hand on my chest and tilts his head like he could hear the intricacies of my mending heart.

"I will leave Ascalaphus with you," he says, looking up and whistling with his fingers in his mouth. The orange eyed owl comes from his hiding spot and rests on a branch nearby. "He is a male deity from our kingdom and the only one who can pass Demeter's enchantments," he explains. I know his name, of course. He is the keeper of Lord Hades grove and the gardens below. I have only seen his form as a man- but I should have recognized those eyes. "So do not be fooled by his appearance. Trust him to do your bidding." He still has his hand on my heart. "You need not be without attendants from the dead earth while you are above."

I look at the owl with his intelligent orange eyes, wondering if he was always watching over me as the sweat dampens my temples.

"You will need to rest for a time," he says when the light headedness passes and I feel more myself once my heart settles into a more normal rhythm. "Use Helios' wonder to your advantage," he adds. "Then when you are better- Perhaps you will decide to come home."

Home.

"I will come back with the next full moon," he says, taking my hand and walking me back towards the frozen stream once he is sure I am stable enough. "Will you meet me?"

"Yes," I say before thinking. A part of me feels like I should ask permission from my mother- but that is ridiculous and I shake the thought away. "Yes, I will."

He smiles again and gives me a sweet kiss before placing his hand on the small of my back to help me to the stream.

I look back at him once I cross the barrier and he smiles as he puts his glove on. How beautiful it was to see it directed at me…and how very pleased he seemed with himself.

I watch as he walks back to his horses. I watch him get in his chariot and take the reins. I watch him disappear into the darkness and I feel a strange ache in my chest… a great longing and unease to see him go. I finally turn towards the trees, just to see my mother standing there. Her face is serious and her eyebrows pressed together… The ground around her is lush and full of long green grass and blood red roses.

She says nothing and I find myself blushing that she would see me with Lord Hades in such a way.

"Mother… I—"

"Come," she says as she holds out her hand for me, cutting me off. The rose stem wraps around her wrist and the thorns press into her soft skin- but she doesn't seem to mind the violence it brings.

We walk in silence back to our home and I feel strange… unwell…. Like she had found me doing something that I shouldn't have. Her winter roses curl around my arms and neck as if to strangle me. I ignore them the best I can, but pull them off when she walks ahead… her godspeed faster and more practiced than mine. If she is disappointed in me, she doesn't say so as she walks me towards my room and hands me a bowl of sweet nectar. My childish room is lit with oil lamps that glow golden in the dark but there was nothing childish about the heaviness between us.

"You should rest," she says, watching as I sip the honeyed drink. Rose stems climb up her back and twist knots in her hair, making her look like some wicked beast.

She is careful not to look directly at me as I wash the dirt away in the water basin and change into more comfortable sleeping clothes. She takes the empty bowl when I am done and kisses my cheek goodnight. She stops just at the threshold and looks at me over her shoulder. The red roses are now all over my room, blooming and dying and dying and blooming like the clayborn harvest.

"I will never judge you for how you choose to survive your ordeal," she says, her fingers tapping against the twisted tree root frame as her rose petals litter the ground. "But you are not going back down there."

With that she leaves me with the slam of my bedroom door.

Sitting down- I see all the painted flowers I so badly wanted to make on my own that have now been overtaken by my mother's angry roses. I realize this is not where I am supposed to be. This room isn't mine anymore… it's just another place in my mother's home that I once slept in. It belonged to her… it all belonged to her and for a while I belonged to her too. I was her most prized flower ... her proudest creation… but a flower can not grow in a gilded cage, protected from the world never allowed to flourish. It needs the air, dirt, and freedom to move. Freedom to breathe and not be suffocated by unwelcome thorns.

They can not grow in the darkness either….

Well… that is not all together true.

Some flowers do flourish in the dark and bloom in the pale dead lights below.

Beautiful things…. Lovely things…. Shiny golden things…Things that have no use for Helios or the springtime rain.

Perhaps that is the kind of flower I am now…. And perhaps that is not an altogether terrible thing to be.

I use my gifts to remove my mother's red roses and I replace them with the yellow flowers that will follow my footsteps in the springtime. Some of them have a pink center crown and pale petals like the dead lights below. Some are orange and gold like my sweet sun kissed world…All of them are perfect and they are all mine. They will show where I once stood from now and for always to remind the world of my innocence and of my mother's perfect child. I smell their sweet scent, finger their soft bodies, and listen to them sing their sweet song of promise. I smile a little to myself. My lips tingle with a lover's kiss and my body burns as I think of Lord Hades… all that he is and all that he could be.

I lay upon my bed and look up at the paper stars hanging down from a tree root ceiling while the yellow flowers overtake my body and bury me with their petals. I close my eyes against the stems and daydream about a dark ocean and hanging trees in a red sunned world. A world of contradictions… reward and punishment rubbing alongside each other on top of a burning inferno full of monsters.

The world below was paradise and damnation. It was hope and it was sorrow… just like me.

I am the herald of spring and the Queen of the Dead Earth.

I am my mother's daughter and Lord Hades' wife.

I am Persephone- and my name means all.

---

"Is this your new pet or something?"

Artemis sneers at Ascalaphus when he hops onto my knees and she looks downright disgusted when I pet the brown feathers on his wing. It is warm enough now to leave my cloak at home but I wish I would have brought it as the wind makes me shiver every time she dances through the forest. My back is resting against a large redwood tree and my dress is damp from the melting slush. We are outside of my mother's wood, somewhere far away where the trees grow so high they nearly touch the clouds and the earth is full of rolling hills.

It is a place Artemis and her maidens call home.

They live in the trees and I can hear them whispering and giggling nearby, fawning over my horse brother as he stands amongst them, tall and proud.

"Something like that," I say, earning an irritated glare from the owl. He makes a strange noise in the back of his throat and then flies overhead to find purchase on one of the tall branches.

Artemis is glad that he is gone. She sits down in front of me, her legs crossed and her pants getting muddy and wet.

"There is something wrong with that owl." She says, glaring up at him. She makes a face when he ruffles his feathers and she starts snapping the twigs she finds on the ground around her. "He does not sing like the others."

"That's because he is from the dead earth," I tell her, giving her a smile when she seems surprised. I resist adding that he is not actually an owl, either, but I keep that secret. "Be nice, sister," I say gently. "He's not hurting anyone."

She gives him one more glare before looking back at me.

My mother was invited to dine with her sister in the great misty mountains beyond. Hestia, the keeper of the never ending flame, rarely left Olympus and rarely spoke to anyone outside of her own attendants- so her invitations were not to be taken lightly. She was a lonely host, content with solitude and the occasional visit... but she did have a hidden home that no man was allowed to enter. A small place with its own never ending fire that she kept burning for all womankind.

My mother insisted I go with her despite not being invited. I politely declined, but did decide to accompany her on her travels as the mountains Mother Hestia called home rested just beyond the tall trees where Artemis lived with her maidens. Arion appeared as we were leaving. Mother Gaia is all he said and she seemed to understand him better than I did.

Mother Gaia and the memory of her ancient hands springing from the dirt caused a visceral reaction in me that I tried to hide… but Arion caught on and asked me about it once we were alone. I told him it was nothing and to not worry. Sometimes things are best left unsaid and I felt like this was one of those things. It felt personal… too personal to divulge just yet so I kept it locked away in one of the broken chambers of my heart.

He nodded his fine head, diamond eyes shining as his mane of black hair rolled down his golden body.

The maidens of Artemis had heard stories of great Arion and surrounded him like vultures once we made it to the trees. He seemed unsure of their attentions and overwhelmed by their giggling… but eventually found himself at ease with their harmless compliments. Though they were a group of strong hunters…. They had the temperament of women which was a great relief and change from the hard headed men Arion had found himself serving.

Initially uncomfortable- the meeting with my sister was cold and unwelcoming. She eventually apologized and I embraced her because I longed to love and be loved by her again. Though it still pained me knowing what her and Apollo had done to the children in Thebes…. I, myself, was no longer blameless.

Chaos had made me just as terrible.

In fact, what I did was worse.

"There is a man who wishes to join my maidens," Artemis says, frowning at her broken twigs. "Some Prince."

"A man?" I ask curiously, pulling myself away from watching my horse brother as he offers the maidens rides on his back. "Why would a man want to do that?"

Especially to clayborn men, the gathering of women always seemed to be a joke- or not at all important. While early men hunted and went to war…the women sewed the clothes their family wore and cooked the food they all ate to survive… and for some reason those things weren't seen as noble tasks. They were easily dismissed by the very men whose lives were made better by them and soon it became something shameful. An insult to manhood... Ridiculous, even… to be a woman.

The only reason I could think one would want to join would be for awful reasons… reasons embedded into me by a bitter mother who trusted no male.

"He finds himself alone in the world," she says seriously. "He wants no wife or lover and sends prayers and offerings into my light. He is a good hunter as well- talented with the bow… not completely a man but not a woman either."

"He sounds like you," I say and she gives me a small smile.

"He is clayborn," she says so I know he is fragile and not at all prepared to run with a host such as Artemis. "But his father was of godly blood- so the golden glow is a part of him."

I say nothing- I watch her dark eyes try to process her feelings. Her curly hair is wild and unkept today, her tunic a rich golden brown.

"He can not," she says, coming to a decision and glancing at me. "He will be king soon as his father has gone missing. No one knows where he is and even my divine eyes can not find him."

She gives me a thoughtful look.

"Can you tell… if his father is dead? Is that something you can do?"

"Perhaps," I reply, thinking of Lord Hades and his great judgment hall. How the floor seems to breathe all on its own with its never ending line of souls. "What is his name?"

"Theseus," she says. "Son of Poseidon and a mortal woman."

Theseus.

Handsome, dark haired Theseus. Hero of men and son of the sea king. Stealer of women. Friend to a drunk idiot. I can hear his screams even now as he suffers with his eternal punishment. Was it my darkness or Lord Hades who had ignited the cursed words on the chairs? I don't remember and I will never care to find out.

"Are you alright?" She asks.

"Theseus is in the dead earth," I say, clearing my throat of the uncomfortableness there. "He will not be returning."

I do not mention that he is still alive- that Thanatos will never release him from his fleshy prison as he starves and howls in the darkness. How could I? Perhaps she would think me a monster…. And perhaps she would be right.

"Well, that settles it then," she says, frowning. "He must be king and do as kings do. Marry some woman and do boring things until he dies."

"Maybe Aphrodite will bless him with desire," I say gently. "Make it easier for him."

She makes a face. "Aphrodite's gifts are fleeting and not at all honest. If she so much as places one of her poisoned arrows near me or my favored.. I will…"

"You will what?" I ask when she trails off.

"It's not like you have any love for her," she says as a deflection. "Was it not her wicked mouth that caused you to declare winter?"

I nod and look down, ashamed of myself for being so easily swayed.

"Love and beauty are made up of lies and jealousy," Artemis says. "That is why she revels in it. "

"Not true love," I say. "Not true beauty."

"What do you know of love?" She asks, looking at me with a tilted head.

"I love you," I tell her honestly.

"Well…" she looks away for a moment. "I love you too." She says quickly, giving me her dimpled smile. "You should have joined me, my sister. I would never force you to do things you did not want to do. I would have protected you," she says, looking down at my chest where underneath the faintest of scars rested. "Truly protected you," she says, reaching out to take my hand. "No force. No tricks. No bribery. Just the fresh open air and unlimited possibilities."

She stretches her arms out and lays back on the ground, staring up at the sky with one of the twigs between her teeth.

"You would have been happy with me," she says thoughtfully. "I know it."

"I am..." I stop myself when she props herself up on her elbows to look at me. "I am not altogether unhappy being with Lord Hades."

She sits up straight. "No?" She asks seriously. "Something has changed?"

How could I explain something to her that I myself did not understand?

"I wish you could walk in the dead earth," I say instead. "Perhaps one day Lord Hades will allow it." She raises her eyebrows at the mention of him allowing anything and I can't say that I blame her. "It's actually quite lovely there. It's much larger than the living earth. The plants and animals… and trees…" I look up at Ascalaphus, perched on a branch. "I like the song they sing. I am sure you would find it beautiful too."

She watches my face, trying to read my expression.

"And Lord Hades?" She asks carefully. "How do you find him?"

I do not answer right away and she takes that as my answer, noticing the blush on my cheeks that is not caused by the cold.

"Even after all that has happened?" she whispers, understanding. "All that he has done?"

I start picking at the ground, pulling on the brittle grass that grows.

"I am conflicted," I admit, glancing at Arion again as he trots between the trees with a short and stout maiden on his back. "Pulled between two worlds and two people… two versions of myself."

"Why can you not be both?" she asks curiously.

I hesitate a second- trying to gather my thoughts.

I am spring and I am winter.

"I feel like if I love one- then I can not love the other."

"Do you love Lord Hades?" she asks, incredulous and for a moment not at all sympathetic. I look up at Ascalaphus to find him looking down at me curiously. "Surely you don't- you hardly know him…. and the things he has done to you…."

"I know what he has done," I say quickly, thinking of my father's words when he offered me to Lord Hades in marriage. "I know more of him now than I once did."

"Well, I should hope so," she says sharply. "With all the time you've been forced to spend with him, you were bound to find something agreeable. What other choice is there for you? To be so miserable for the rest of eternity?" I do not say anything else to her. I can see she is not in the mood to understand and I know we are not truly alone.

She spares me a dark eyed look and then she sighs.

"Is he gentle with you, at least?" she asks, her tone softer and more sweet. "Men can make coupling seem so hurried and ugly."

"That is not my experience," I reply to which she nods her head.

"Good." she says uncomfortably. "That is good, I suppose."

We do not speak for a while. A heaviness stays between us… things left unsaid. Dark secrets that should be shared between friends are no longer comfortable divulging and I regret that. I wish I could speak to someone who was judgment free of the situation who knew me and loved me best… but I fear I do not have that. Not right now.

"My mother will not let me return to the dead earth," I say after Ascalaphus flies off for a moment. "So I guess it doesn't matter so much what I think about it."

"I don't think she has much say in that," Artemis says, still sounding quite short and displeased. "Lord Hades forced his blood fruit upon you, if you remember."

"He says he will not call me back," I tell her and she blinks in surprise. "He says now it will be my decision- but my mother has let it be known that is not the case after all."

She is careful with her reply and she looks away for a moment to gather her thoughts.

"I never want you to go down there again," she says honestly as she reaches out and grabs the hem of my simple woolen dress. "The living earth is not the same when you don't walk upon it… but you have been made queen in the dead earth. There is nothing your mother can do about that now. I suppose if Lord Hades doesn't use his blood fruit against you- then there is nothing anyone can do. You may do as you please."

As I please?

What a frightening thought.

I go to say something else, but she raises her hand and looks behind her.

"My brother approaches," she says as she stands up.

She makes an odd whistling noise and all her maidens hide within their hidden homes. She helps me to my feet and then she looks at me for a moment.

"I am not hiding from your brother," I tell her, seeing it in her eyes.

She nods and turns when Apollo appears between the trees. His great bow and quiver are slung over his back and he wears a golden crown upon his fine head. Handsome and tanned, he smiles when he sees me, his dark eyes sparkling in the daylight.

I look around for Arion, but he is gone.

"My little sister," he says, ignoring Artemis as he comes to me and bows at the waist. "How long has it been since I've seen your lovely form?"

"Why are you here?" Artemis asks with her brow arched. I continue to look for my horse brother among the tall trees. He is hard to miss, of course. One as great as he could hardly keep himself hidden but his diamond eyes elude me now.

"Fetch your bow and arrows," he says, his sparkling eyes never leaving mine. "Father has summoned us to Olympus."

"What for?" she asks suspiciously.

"I do not know," he says with a shrug, finally sparing her a glance. "Perhaps we should go to Olympus and find out."

She watches him carefully before looking at me.

"Worry not, sister," he says with a beautiful smile. "I will keep Queen Persephone company while you are away."

"Don't be an idiot."

"Never," he replies with a smirk.

She hesitates before leaving me and I look upon Apollo. He seems more like a boy to me now. Lord Hades had changed the way I viewed men and his boyish charm was not nearly as attractive as it used to be.

"You smell different," he says finally. "Perhaps it is the stench of death that lingers on your skin."

"Perhaps," I say, looking up as Ascalaphus returns.

Apollo watches him curiously.

"Hm," Apollo says thoughtfully before turning back to me. "How very grown and mature you are now."

"How unchanged you are," I reply, not impressed like I once was.

He steps closer.

I step back.

"Now that I have you alone- I would like for you to understand something." He takes another step closer and then another until he is right in front of me and my back is against the tree. "I am not your subject," he says, leaning down for me to hear all the better and pressing his cheek to mine so he can whisper in my ear. "And I don't like being told what to do."

"You seem to like it just fine," I say, stepping to the side to get away from him and motioning to his bow. "Father Zeus asks much of you, it seems."

"Well," He smiles his dimpled smile and shrugs a bit. "He is our Almighty Father, is he not? If I must be beholden to anyone- it should be to the one who helped make me… But you did not help make me at all, did you? In fact, you are neither mighty nor my father- so the next time you decide to order something of me… perhaps you should just ask me instead."

He smiles, his eyes looking me over. Dark clouds roll overhead and the air becomes heavy with the promise of rain.

"I think I would like that," he says, as it begins sprinkling all around us. "You, asking something of me. You seeking me out and needing something only I could give you… " His words seem suggestive and layered in a different meaning that makes me uncomfortable. I look around for my brother again, but find no trace of him.

The way Apollo looks at me is different now and he reaches out as if to touch me but thinks better of it. Instead, he curls his hand into a fist, pressing his knuckles into the tree behind my head.

"How could I say no if you ask so sweetly?"

"Be careful, my brother," I whisper as the anger begins bubbling in my stomach. "I am not the girl I once was."

Thunder claps in the distance and the world shudders as the rain comes down in heavy sheets.

"No," he says, smiling at my threat. His hair wet and his skin glistening. "Lord Hades must have taught you many things in your time below." A fog rolls in from the mountains, curling around our feet. "I have things I could teach you as well. Things lonely Lord Hades could hardly dream of."

"Shall we ask him?"

That stops him and he furrows his handsome brows. Lightning flashes in Father Zeus' rage and it makes my brother's face look sinister.

"What?"

"Shall we ask Lord Hades about the things he does not know?" I bring my fingers to my mouth and whistle loudly. Ascalaphus flies overhead and then he swoops down to settle on a moss covered stone nearby. His sudden movement causes Apollo to jump back in surprise and the arrows in his quiver rattle against each other. "What would you like to teach me that my Lord Husband does not know, my brother?" Ascalapus tilts his head, intelligent eyes gleaming at Apollo as another strike of lightning hits a nearby tree and cracks it in half. The nymphs inside it scream, but they do not move for fear of Apollo. "I am sure he would be grateful to have a host such as yourself school him in such matters."

After a tense moment of staring, he smiles.

"Little sister," he says like he was impressed when he realizes I am not the timid thing I once was. He takes an arrow out of his quiver and starts playing with the sharpened point. "You have grown up."

"Yes."

The woolen blue dress I wear is heavy against me from the rain and it suddenly feels so suffocating. I shift my shoulders in an attempt to get comfortable, but it does nothing for the ache in my stomach.

"I suppose we all must grow up at some point," he says, for a moment serious as he takes a few steps back. The North Wind comes sailing in between the trees with a warning on her lips, but I can not hear her and she is gone before I can ask. "What a shame that is."

"There is no shame in that," I say and he glances at me, his brown eyes studying my expression as the dark clouds block out the sun.

The rain continues to come down in droves and the fog creates a wall around us so I can see nothing in the distance. I look up at the darkened sky, wondering of its timing. Apollo walks away as if he means to leave, but stops at the fog and turns around.

"I wonder…" He raises his bow, sliding his golden arrow in place and aiming it at my chest with one eye closed. My heart quickens to see it… such violence has never been turned on me by one of my siblings and I find myself at a loss for words. "What would Lord Hades do if I was to shoot one of his prized possessions?"

"Brother–"

He shoots his arrow.

I am frozen, unable to move, but it is not me Apollo was aiming for. It was Ascalaphus. It hits him right in the heart and he lands with a splash in a deep puddle created from a dip in the earth. I run to him and fall to my knees by his side, unsure if I should touch him. His orange eyes are panicked and rolling around like he couldn't focus on anything due to the pain.

"Are you alright?" I whisper, seeing the black blood trickle out of his chest. His heart still beats- his light still shines- but he is wounded with divine malice. He cries out- but I do not know what to do so my helplessness turns to anger.

I narrow my eyes and turn to brother Apollo, the rain makes my wet hair heavy and it smacks against my cheeks.

"Why did you do that?" I snap as he readies another arrow in his divine bow. "How could you do such a thing?"

I stand up and move towards him, Chaos and anger clouding my heart.

"I do not like being told what to do," He says as he lifts his bow and aims it at me. "Even if you are a make-believe queen."

He shoots again, only this time I catch his arrow and snap it in half. He seems surprised for a moment and then he smirks as he reaches for another.

"If you shoot again, your arrows will not be the only thing I break," I warn.

He laughs at that, but pulls his bow taunt anyways and takes aim.

"Children."

We both stop at that voice and Apollo lowers his bow slowly, turning over his shoulder to find Father Zeus entering from amongst the fog. Dressed in red with his golden crown, he brings with him relief from the storm. Helios shines through a break in the clouds, illuminating Father Zeus as he walks towards us, bathed in heavenly light.

"That is no way to treat one another."

"Father," Apollo falls to one knee and bows his head.

I know I should do the same, but for some reason I can not make my body do it.

"Has living among the clayborn taught you nothing on how to treat others, my son?" Father says, his auburn hair catching like fire in the sun and burning bright. "Perhaps you need another lesson."

"No," Apollo says quickly, a blush on his handsome face. "No, that is not necessary, Father."

"I thought not," he smiles as he walks to me, his strong hand running through Apollo's curly hair affectionately as he passes. "And what do we have here?" He bends down to pluck the arrow from Ascalaphus' breast. He tosses it to Apollo who stands and stuffs the bloodied arrow in his quiver. "He will be fine," he tells me, wiping his hands on his red cape. "It may take an hour or two for him to heal completely, but his divine blood will seal him up nicely."

I turn to pick up Ascalaphus, but the Great Father raises his hand as if to stop me.

"Leave him." He smiles. "It is better if he is not disturbed."

His purple eyes are brighter than Lord Hades' and they seem full of warmth, mirth, and merriment. He did not have the tortured darkness of his siblings fighting behind his divine eyes… but he did have something else. Something deep and powerful… something wicked and forbidden… His smile was lovely and his skin unblemished, slightly tanned from a youth spent in the sun's warmth- but he had no freckles despite the redness of his hair. He was similar to Cronus in the way his handsomeness was placed so pleasingly upon his face.

"My sweet girl. How well you look." He never stops smiling, but it doesn't seem to reach his eyes anymore. I hold my brother's broken arrow in my right hand- it's divine metal burning my skin as I run my thumb over the sharpened point. "You may leave, Apollo. Your sister waits at the gates for you."

Apollo bows his head and gives me such a strange look… a look one gives when you feel pity. He leaves before I can understand why and then my father says my name to get my attention.

"You are all wet."

I swallow hard as I look up at him. I have never been alone with my father before. My mother has always been with me and he has always kept his distance for the most part. He was handsome. Of course he was. He was more handsome than even brother Apollo. The darkness of torture had never touched him like it had so many others and he wore the levity well. He had an earth based beauty- something comforting and appealing. Not like Lord Hades, who's beauty seemed cosmic and unattainable.

He was large and muscular, with a thick beard and long hair he had tied away from his face. He's dressed like a warrior now. Wearing a red tunic and leather breastplate with golden ornaments that show a great oak tree and two snake eating eagles flying near his collar bone. There are threads of blonde in his mustache and he wears the spiked golden crown of his celestial kingdom.

"You must be cold."

He removes his red cape and places it around my shoulders, clasping it together with a thunderbolt pin at my neck. It feels heavy and it smells of summertime showers in a lunar eclipse.

"How wonderful you look in red," He says with a pleased smile as he steps back to appraise me. "You have your mother's coloring…She looked good in red as well. She did not wear it long, though."

I try not to make a face at that. All I can think about is the way he spoke about me to Lord Hades… how he wished to deflower me and plant a child. How predatory he was. Suddenly he didn't seem so handsome and his beauty was more like a siren's song leading women to their ruin.

"I heard you met my father."

I nod and look around at the fog. It was thick. So thick I could not see through it…. and I doubt any host could see in. Not even my mother. I feel suddenly unsafe and I press the pointed tip of my brother's arrow against my thumb until it breaks skin.

"Not very pleasant, is he?"

I shake my head and look down. My bare feet are wet with muddy earth while he wears the boots of a winter soldier.

"My brother is not very pleasant either." He sighs and puts his hand on his belt, mulling me over. "Poor little thing. What an awful lot you have been given."

"You thought Lord Hades would make a good enough husband for me," I say, clearing my throat at the uncomfortableness there. I stare at his chest, finding his bright, happy eyes too much to bear as I dig the arrow deeper. "Your wisdom is great, Father."

"Wisdom," he repeats the word with a laugh. "So you have grown satisfied with your uncle? No longer the rageful little girl writing laws in my hall?"

I crinkle my nose at the word uncle as I have never thought of Lord Hades that way. In the clayborn world, inbreeding and incest was a great sin, something shameful and looked down upon. But we were made differently. With only so many hosts born into a generation- our family ties and blood bonds weren't as connected… weren't as close… but the relationship with a parent to their child was still sacred and it was a temptation even lustful Father Zeus had not succumbed to.

"You should have stayed a virgin," he says, for a moment serious as he tilts his head, trying to catch my eyes. "Once your legs have been opened- there is no closing them again. No matter how special you think yourself to be."

I feel a hot blush spread over my cheeks and it creeps along my ears.

"I thought you wanted nothing to do with your Lord Husband," he smirks, a knowing smile settling on his fine lips when my blush turns to red hot fire.

I look down, feeling unsafe… unwell… How many women had he forced into doing things they didn't want to do? How many times has he tricked them, changed them, filled them with children?

He takes off his crown and he twirls it in his hands a few times before offering it to me. I shake my head, my brows furrowed and suspicious. He smirks and then places it on my head anyways. It is too large, and it falls in front of my eyes so he adjusts it to sit further back.

"There," he steps back and sits down on the moss covered rock. "Now you look like a true daughter of Zeus."

The crown feels wrong, uncomfortable. I do not like the way he is looking at me either. Suddenly he is the almighty King of Kings sitting upon his mighty throne, looking me over with darkened eyes full of authority and power. Suddenly I was the lamb-waiting for sacrifice.

"You and I have never spent time together," he says. "When could we? With your mother. How lucky I am," he says softly, his eyes lingering at my breasts. "To find you so alone."

I don't know what to do or what to say, so I say nothing and I do nothing. My whole life I was warned to be wary of my father and his affections. Once his fondness turned into desire there was no going back. Father Zeus always got what he wanted, one way or another. He could crush mountains and set the world ablaze with his mighty thunderbolt. He could fight in one thousand divine wars and be the final say in all things… but nothing seemed to thrill him as much as when he chased after a conquest. The great battle of lovemaking and coercion… to open legs and spread his seed was his most favorite pastime.

I just stare back and hope he leaves me unscathed.

"Are you happy with your life, Persephone?" he asks, suddenly curious. "You don't seem very happy to me."

"I suppose I am," I whisper with a shrug. What was happiness, anyways? Happiness was childhood and that has long passed me now. My broken swing in my mother's wood was testament to that.

"You are my daughter," he says, reaching out to grab my hand. I resist pulling back. "I am part of you as you are part of me."

He's thoughtful for a moment, looking at my hand and running his thumb over my skin.

"We have our obligations. Of course we do. Obligations and restrictions and never ending tasks…But…" He pauses on the word. " We should never deny ourselves our wants and desires. Hosts such as we want things… desires things… for a reason. Like the universe is inching us closer to something great by planting these seeds inside our hearts. There is always a greater purpose in our actions. Always justification. Just look at you."

He stands and pulls me against his chest. I hit his breast plate with a thump and I drop Apollo's arrow. Father Zeus sees it clatter to the ground and then he brings up my wounded hand and looks at the golden blood beading on my thumb with a curious tilt of his head.

"Demeter never cared for me." He says as he holds me in place, but I don't even try to move. "None of them did. I was brave, you see. I had ideas. They all wanted to run and hide after I freed them from my father, but not I. We had to fight. No one else would help us. We had to fight for our place in this world." His eye contact is unnerving, but I don't look away. I can't. "We had to sacrifice. We had to hurt for it to happen and look." He motions around. "Here we are and there you are… Queen in your own right. Because I wanted your mother and I took your mother and granted her the greatest of gifts. Now you are spring and you are winter. Death and rebirth. Our world has been changed all because I wanted something and I took it. Do you understand?"

I swallow hard again- my throat feels impossibly dry.

"We take what we want," he says seriously. He brings my wounded hand to his lips and licks the blood off of my skin. My stomach drops and I feel myself starting to shake. "Because it is our divine right as the hosts of this realm." He pauses for a moment and then looks down at my dirty feet. He smiles fondly and then places his finger against my lips. "What do you want, my sweet daughter?"

"I don't…" I blink hard a few times when he finally lowers his hand. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" He questions, imposing in his divinity. "I know what I want." He smiles again and I feel a shiver creep up my spine. "And when I want something- I stop at nothing to get it because I am infallible and my choices are supreme. I want something because the universe pushes me in that direction and approves of my every move. Do you understand?"

"What if we do not want the same things?" I ask. "Who's desire wins, then?"

"The strongest," he says, his voice so final and so sure. "Strength always wins in this world. Have you not noticed?"

Behind me Ascalaphus stirs and my father glances at him.

"He belongs to my brother's realm," he points out flatly, like he suddenly realized and he takes a step away from me like Lord Hades himself was watching. "He should not be here on this living earth."

"He is my companion," I whisper, taking the distraction to turn around and pick Ascalaphus up. He is big and awkward in my arms, but his eyes start to open, blinking away the fog in his mind. "Mother Gaia permits him."

Father Zeus says nothing, he just stares at me and then he glances at Ascalaphus who's glowing orange eyes look up at the heavens.

"I suppose she does," he says flatly before raising an eyebrow. He is suddenly cold… the heat he omitted has frozen over and I finally feel free of his trap. "I must leave you now," he says, his eyes on the owl deity in my arms. I am surprised by the curtness in his voice. Suddenly his seductive drawl has been replaced with something much more formal. "I hope to see you again, my daughter."

He nods and then turns to leave

"Father," I say to get his attention and he looks at me in surprise. I take off his crown and walk towards him to return it. I want to give him no reason to seek me out again and I hold tight when Ascalaphus tries to fly away. "Thank you for visiting me," I say gently, to keep the peace and to keep him happy. "I am lucky, indeed, to be your daughter."

"Keep my cape," he says with a smile, eyeing the bird in my arms as he puts the crown back upon his fine head. "Think of me when you wear it." He taps my nose affectionately. "And may they only be pleasing thoughts."

He looks me over, his head tilted and thoughtful and then he decides something. I see it click into place in his mind and he gives me the most beautiful grin.

"Until next time." he says gently before he disappears into the fog, taking the rain and clouds with him.

Rain drenched and shivering, I help Ascalaphus to stand on his own and then I run my fingers along his chest, trying not to think of Father Zeus as the sun bathes the forest in its warm embrace once more.

"Are you alright?" I whisper and he says that he is… he says his heart aches but he will be fine and he tilts his head as he looks upon me, wondering of Father Zeus with the thunderbolt clip at my throat. "I do not know," I half lie as to not have Lord Hades know of the perceived danger. "He is gone now."

Ascalaphus flies into the air with unsteady wings trying to find his bearings. He nearly falls a few times and I run underneath in case I need to catch him, but he ends up finding his strength and circling overhead. He looks beautiful in the misty sunshine with a rainbow forming an arch at his back. I am unsure what to do with myself now, so I decide to make my way towards the mountains to meet up with my mother. Artemis' maidens creep out from their hidden homes to watch me leave.

My stomach still feels off… like I was soon to be sick. The earth starts buzzing in a strange way that makes me pause just outside of the tree line and I look down at Mother Gaia as Arion approaches, looking unsteady and dazed.

"Where have you been?" I ask him.

Here, he answers and that is all as he shakes his head like ridding it of a dream.

There is a strange cry in the air. It carries in from a far distance and curls around my father's cape, fluttering the material before sweeping through my hair.

Something out there is crying for death… for me… for Lord Hades…. But it is not a voice I recognize as clayborn or animal…. It isn't a host either. It sounds strange… muffled and breathless. I whistle for Ascalaphus and hold out my arm for him to land. His talons are sharp, they bite into my skin- but I do not flinch as I eye the dried black blood on his chest.

"Do you hear the crying?" I ask and he says that he does, turning his head to the eastern gates with his orange eyes aflame with golden sunshine. "What is it?" I ask but he does not know and can not answer. I look at Arion but he is still acting strange and does not seem to hear me when I ask him the same question.

I turn back to Ascalaphus. "Can you show us?"

He questions if it is safe. He hints towards Father Zeus and Brother Apollo without actually saying his meaning- but I reassure him. Not because I feel myself free of each threat- but the crying is just so loud that I must see for myself. He questions whether he should call on Lord Hades. Lord Hades, he says, would be a good enough protector and would deter any unwanted advances. I dismiss the idea because I am a host all onto myself and I find myself annoyed that he keeps questioning me.

He catches my tone and is quick to bow his head.

Forgive me, he whispers before taking off into the great open air. I ask Arion if he will run for me and when he answers that he will, I climb on his back. He runs for miles and miles– through towns and villages… and forests and streams… until day begins to slip peacefully into night and we come to a desolate dry plain untouched by winter. A tree stands alone in the distance. It grows in the center of the red dirt earth with two thick branches twisted up towards the sky. It is an ugly, short thing, full of oddly shaped fruit and strange smells.

I slip from Arion's back when he says that he is tired… and that he will rest for only a moment. I give him an odd look as he settles in the grass, his diamond eyes shut and his head tucked against his legs.

The tree makes another strange cry, so I turn my attention to it and tilt my head. Even the ones being felled or carved do not cry out in such a way.

The sky line is pink from the setting sun and the world is quiet for just a moment before a loud pitched scream pierces the air. The tree seems to contort in pain- it twists and shudders. I run from my hidden spot and place my hands on the trunk to shine my light - but the thing is in too much pain and it screams out again- praying onto my light for death.

Death! Please! Please! Kill me!

The voice is a woman's, I realize. A woman transformed and made into this thing in front of me.

"Ascalaphus," I say as I walk around the tree, trying to understand what befell this poor mortal. "Do you know what ails her?" I ask but he can not answer because he doesn't know. How could he?

She weeps golden sap from her bark and shivers at the touch of my hand. I try to reassure her… I tell her that she is not alone… I try to find out how this came to be… but all she does is cry.

"She wants to die," I say as I hear her prayers and I step back- defeated. "She begs for release. She has been laboring…"

Laboring.

The word makes me pause and I give my owl companion an incredulous look.

"She can't be…"

She screams again and a flood of clay born blood pours out from between her roots- soaking the ground and my bare feet underneath. It is not normal blood... It is thicker… more congealed and dark… so dark it looks like the juice of a blackberry mixed with tar.

Death! She screams, she cries, she howls. Death! please!

Death does not come… he can not come…. Not when she has been transformed like she is now. I doubt Thanatos can even hear her in this form. I circle her thick trunk, trying desperately to find the point of her pain to maybe help relieve just a bit of her suffering. It is the second time around that I notice the swell towards the bottom. It is slight, barely noticeable, and I get down on my knees when she settles into a painful silence with her branches quivering in shock.

I place my hand on the swell and then bend down, my knees pressed into the bloody puddle that saturates my woolen dress and creeps upward and outward when the fabric absorbs it. I press my ear to the bark. I have to focus- but I can now hear the cause of such pain. It's very faint at first… the fast flutter like the beating of a butterfly's wing….

Save the child.

The woman's voice is now a fading whisper and I look up at her branches, trying to imagine her face.

Save him.

Him.

I find an opening at the bottom and then place a bloodied hand inside, only to pull back sharply when I feel something slimy and rough. I do not know if she can even properly push the child out in her current form. And what happens if she can not? Would Thanatos and his shadow soldiers be able to hear his rattling soul and pull him from this prison to be reborn? Would he be just as stuck as she is?

Her body contorts and she starts screaming again- the pain of her contraction makes more golden sap seep from her bark.

I look around for Ascalaphus but I do not see him. I call for Arion- but he does not come.

The woman shakes her branches and one of them breaks off, nearly hitting me.

When her contraction passes, I close my eyes and press my forehead to her body… trying to understand and look into her light like Lord Hades can in his judgment hall. It's blurry at first, like looking through a fogged up window. Eventually it clears enough to show a lovely girl named Myrrha crying on a bed. I see and then I understand what transpired. A snide comment made during a festival when a certain host was listening has caused this tragedy. An unyielding lust for one's own father… the shame of a child born of such incest….the final humiliation of a transformation….

Aphrodite.

"I will help you," I tell her as I clear away the twigs and fallen leaves that have shaken loose.

I ready myself and place my father's cloak nearby before pushing both hands into the hole.

The blood mingled with amber sap leaks from the wound and the tree screeches so loud she shakes the earth. Her body tenses when she attempts to push with muscles she no longer has and things inside of her break and tear and snap in half. My face scratches against the bark as I push my arms all the way up to my shoulders until I finally find him.

He is upside down- encased in a sack and surrounded by hardening wood. I struggle to release him before she turns completely into her final form and crushes him in this prison. I yank firmly to free him from her misshapen womb and he slips out quickly once properly dislodged. Out in the night time air, I place him on my father's cloak and try to gently remove the membrane that encases him. Amber fluid bursts forth from the sac and gets all over me- bringing with it a strange spicy smell that burns my nose.

I wipe away the blood from his face and pinch off the life chord at his stomach.. but he does not cry.

He does not move.

His limbs are limp. His lips are purple and his fingertips are blue.

I'm not sure what to do….

Our teeth… I hear Cronus' voice in my ear. So dark and damning. Are so very sharp.

Of course. He used them to tear apart my mother and the host I call husband. He would know all about it. I wonder if my mother looked this small and helpless when Great Rhea handed her over to be devoured by her husband.

Save him… the tree named Myrrha whispers again and I look up at her weepy branches when I hear the tell-tale rattle of the other place coming. Please…

I glance over my shoulder and in the distance I see Thanatos waiting in the shadows. He does not approach right away. He waits with his wings spread against the starry horizon as I wrap the baby up and hold him to my chest. His soul shakes and shivers, so new to the world but already gone.

No! No! She cries when she senses Death as well. Save him!

I look down at the child. He is covered in blood and sap… but he has a perfect little face. Ten little toes… ten little fingers…. If Thanatos takes him below he will be reborn… but his mother will never see him again because her fate is to remain here… in this spot… for the rest of time.

Because of Aphrodite…

Anger compels me. I put the child back on the ground and I blow into his mouth the golden sparkly breath that containes my everlasting light. It pushes out the thick, sticky sap from his little lungs. His heart is shocked into beating again and he takes a deep breath before a newborn wail rings out into the night as if to declare I am here. I am real and I am ready…. But something is wrong. Too long his little body went without the life giving air in his mother's wooden womb. Parts of him were already broken… already dead beyond saving.

He was blind… he would never walk properly…he would never speak… He would be afflicted with painful tremors and never eat solid food. His life would be one of suffering and hardship that would continue to get worse until he eventually died at a young age having never known life.

Our teeth… Cronus' voice is back. Are so very sharp….

A memory returns to me. A memory not quite my own but a shadow lurking somewhere in my healing heart.

The blood… Cronus had said. Can heal many things…

The mysteries of the Titans and their perfect people weighs heavily on my mind as I use my sharp teeth to bite my own wrist. The golden blood beads on my flesh and I stare down at it- remembering the words written and the forbidden secrets… but what is all that to a queen?

And that is what I am. A queen. Infallible and kind.

I wet my pinky with my own blood and then offer it to the child who's very nature encourages him to suckle. My blood slides down his throat and through his body… mending his broken collarbone and repairing his heart and mind.

He opens his newly healed eyes and looks upon me with a peaceful curiosity as all his pain and trauma fades away, replaced with a content warmth. All that was damaged becomes whole and all that was wrong becomes right.

"You have a son, Myrrha," I tell her, smiling to myself as I walk over to show her the child. "A beautiful boy."

For a moment she is content too… for a moment she is happy and all is right in her world before she remembers what she is and how she came to be.

"What shall you name him?" I ask but she does not answer.

She is weeping now.

Weeping for the loss of never holding her baby in her own arms. Weeping that she will never feed him at her breast or teach him how to walk. Weeping for the unfairness of it all that she must now remain still and forget while he gets to grow and remember.

The ticking noise of the other place disappears and I turn around to see Thanatos' thunderstorm eyes glowing nocturnal in the dark. He bows his head with an eerie smile and then takes off into the night. The child in my arms screams in a sudden burst of discomfort. He is hungry and cold… and feels the deep loss of his mother.

Ascalaphus circles overhead and then lands on one of the tree's bushy branches. He watches me with curious orange eyes as I try to shush the infant asleep again- but it does not work.

Hungry. Ascalaphus' voice is surprisingly human. It is hungry.

I look down at my wrist that is already healed- but Ascalaphus flaps his wings angrily.

No more, he warns. Forbidden.

Forbidden. The word is heavy and I turn away from it.

The baby wants something I can not give right now and I chew on the inside of my cheek as I try to think of what to do next.

I could find a nursing mother in the clayborn world and leave him on her doorstep. I could take the form of a mortal to veil myself and ask a wetnurse for help. I could call upon Mother Hera to see what she would suggest as she is always full of mother's milk. There are many things I could do, but I can't think straight with the baby crying as he is… and with Myrrha weeping so loudly in my ear.

In my distress- I do not put up the proper barriers in my mind to block out the prayers directed at me.

They overtake me. Thousands of voices at once all begging, and crying, and needing so much.

I just have to think, so I place him at his mother's bloody roots and take a couple steps back to order my thoughts. I clench my eyes shut- bringing up my bloodied hands so I can press them firmly to my ears in a childish attempt to block out the voices.

Everything will be fine. I tell myself as I turn away. All is well. All is well. All is well.

When I manage to get the voices under control, I find that the night is suddenly very quiet and I turn around to see my mother holding the child. She is feeding him with one of the ruddy fruits that grows on the tree's thorny branches. I slowly lower my hands, staring in awe of her and Mother Hestia who holds a lantern burning with a purple god's flame.

"She will bear fruit for as long as the child needs it," my mother says, glancing up at me as Mother Hestia places her pale hand upon the tree with the glowing lantern at her feet. "Such is the way of her transformation."

"Mother." I nearly sigh in relief and I resist the urge to run to her. Seeing her after such an event brings me comfort.

All is truly well now.

"You should have called for me," she says, gently swaying as I step closer. Mother Hestia's purple fire makes my mother's pale dress glow from behind. "I would have come sooner."

I nod my head. Of course I should have… but the thought never crossed my mind, as stupid as that is.

"This cape," she says, fingering the thunderbolt pin with a furrowed brow. "It is not yours."

I shake my head. She gives me a look as if to say explain yourself… so I clear my throat.

"Father Zeus gave it to me," I say, trying not to see the look in her eyes. "He came as I visited Artemis in her red tree forest."

"Why?" she asks sharply, her voice disturbed. "What did he want with you?"

I shrug, suddenly uncomfortable with myself. "He needed Apollo and Artemis for a divine task," I offer but I am not so sure that is why he spoke to me.

"Zeus walked on this living earth to fetch his own children?" Mother Hestia sounds unsure and she looks over at me. Her voice is old and deep with a peculiar cadence that enunciates words in a strange order. "Very odd thing for him to do."

"Very odd," my mom agrees as her eyes never leave mine. "What did he want with you?"

"Just a visit," I shrug. She looks me over, trying to find the violence of her brother… my own father… upon me.. "He did not stay long… It was fine."

I cross my arms.

"Fine?" she repeats, leveling me with a serious look. "We must be more careful," she says, looking away. "If Zeus now feels compelled to visit the earth for you."

"It was not for me," I say, trying to make sense of it. "He came for Artemis and–"

"He came for you," Mother Hestia cuts me off, her deep voice so strange to hear against mine. "Of that there is no doubt," she says, glancing at the babe swaddled in red. "He always makes one visit before…" She trails off and turns away like the thought pained her.

Mother is silent for a moment and I do not press the matter. Not when she is so troubled. She lets the night speak for us and she shares a troubled look with her sister before walking towards me. She looks back down at the baby in her arms, her veil dirty from wiping off the afterbirth from his face.

"He is an uncommonly beautiful baby," she muses, trying to find happiness from such a serious thought. "Rare, for a mortal." She tilts her head for a moment and leans down to sniff his head. "He smells of you," she says, looking up at me in surprise. "You breathed your light into him?"

"It was the only way to save him."

"It's something else too…" She holds him away from her to view him properly and he wiggles uncomfortably…. but it is Mother Hestia, with her strange way of speaking, who says it.

"She gave him her Ichor."

My mother's fine eyes move quickly to my own. I do not like the way she is looking at me now… All the life has drained from her face leaving a pale wax mask.

"That is forbidden," she says, glancing behind her like she was looking for someone to jump out and scream. "The fates do not take kindly to that kind of meddling."

"It wasn't much," I reply. "Only enough to heal—"

"This is serious, Persephone. It has been written well before you were born," she snaps, her tone more vicious than I have ever heard before. Even Mother Hestia seems concerned in her snow white dress and pale hair so intricately braided. She looks up at the sky for a moment- her pale brows furrowed and her dark eyes searching for something I do not understand. "How could you risk such a thing?"

It was against our laws to give mortals our blood- I knew that. I knew that as I knew all the laws written on the wall that my mother made me learn in my adolescence. But in the grips of Chaos- Lord Hades and I shared our blood and nothing happened then. He said that the Titans used to drink their blood for power and youth… but the law never explained why we couldn't give it to the clayborn.

The blood can heal many things, Great Cronus had whispered in a pool of red. It is the greatest of gifts.

"He was going to die," I explain, suddenly feeling unsure of myself.

"Why did you think your blood would help?" She asks, handing the suckling infant off to her sister so she can approach me more intimately. "Did Hades tell you such a thing?"

"No," I whisper as she stands before me, her face troubled and her eyes narrowed.

How beautiful she is.

Do I tell her that it was her father? The host who tortured and consumed her? Do I tell her he whispered his secrets to me in the deep dark depths as he buried me in the sand and mutilated my body. The blood is strong, he had told me. The blood could make paradise on earth for the ones we love who's time above is so limited and who's time below is so strange as they are never truly themselves ever again.

"He was going to die,"I repeat instead.

"What do you care about that?" My mother asks suspiciously. I look over at Mother Hestia as she walks away from the tree, placing the baby on the ground and touching her pale hands to the earth. "You know more than most that death is not a true end. One soul is not worth risking what you have risked."

I am not sure what I have risked. I need only think of sorrowful Prometheus who betrayed Father Zeus…everyday in agony… but this was different. This was a law written by primordial deities when the first man was formed and walked forth into Helios' light. I am not sure why it was forbidden or what happens when one breaks such a law… but I do know the host that taught me and practiced it himself is a prisoner in the deep dark bowels of the universe.

I nervously pick at my fingers and my mother notices it, placing her hands on top of mine.

"This child will not be immortal," she whispers, watching my face carefully. "But he will have an unnaturally long life. He will never grow past a god's age and he will never know disease or illness. But one day he will die… by age or by hand… He will die and not be judged in the Kingdom of Hades because- like the chosen people of my father- he is now granted to spend his everlasting life in the Isle of the Blessed. A place we can never go. A place only the red eyed children of Gaia are allowed to walk. But not us. We are barred from this paradise and so are our descendants. In saving this life for him- you have given him a wonderful gift. A gift only the most righteous and good of the clayborn receive. Rare, even for them. Even better than golden Elysian. But when his mortal body dies- even you will never see him again."

Her words hang between us as I try to process how I feel about them. A gift.. she said. A gift.

"Mother Gaia is silent," Mother Hestia says after a time, swaddling the infant up tight and walking back to us. "I believe she slumbers."

"Good," my mother says with a head nod. "There is no telling now what will happen but I feel no rumbles in the heavens…"

"No one will know," I say and they both look at me. I go over to mother Hestia and take the baby from her arms, walking back over to weeping Myrrha so she may feel him near.

"You sound sure of that." My mother says. "This kind of… " She trails off for a second. "It is not the rage of Zeus with thunderbolts and earthquakes that will follow you. The punishment for these kinds of laws are subtle, discret. You will not know until after it is done and it will change you."

"Your father told me no one would notice. That no one would care… as long as it was a secret… as long as it wasn't too much to too many. The Fates will not trouble themselves with it as long as it is not prevalent."

Both of them stop to stare at me. Mother Hestia tilts her head and she exchanges a strange look with my mother.

"Our father lies," Mother Hestia whispers. She is so much taller than my mother, so much larger, but her features are so delicate. "You can not trust anything he says."

"He did not lie about the blood," I say, looking down at the child as he sweetly sleeps in my arms. A strange feeling overtakes me and I bend down to smell the top of his head just as my mother had. I like the way he smells. It brings me warmth and comfort. "It healed this clayborn child and promised him salvation. We could do it to all our beloved mortals to entice them to live the way we want them to live. Lord Hades' judgements are so… they are fair… but not much room in the middle and living is so very hard. Why can we not free them of the disease and hunger we put upon them?"

I turn to look at my mother and her sister.

"What is the purpose of these laws when we ourselves are eternal?"

"It is a punishment," My mother says carefully, quietly so as not to alert others. "For the ruin they caused and will cause Mother Gaia as they grow strong and we grow weaker. They ruined her sacred garden forever after and my father was forbidden to give them the sacred covenant. Now they toil and labor in the fields and in themselves… Now Great Cronus is buried deep in his infernal prison as he never listened, not even to those older and wiser than he….and Zeus killed his favored children with a great flood to start over fresh to appease the ones who gave us their life as we give our life to the clayborn. It is forbidden, Persephone, and you shall never do it again."

"So we can change them, torture them, deny them everylasting peace… but we can not offer them youth, and health, and paradise? If they are part of us with bits of our light and we have made this world for them, why do we not show them this love? "

"It is not love," Mother Hestia says gently. "It goes against nature and weakens our gifts. If you give too much you kill their bodies… if you give to too many- you lose your light and become mortal yourself… then you die- but your light is gone so there is nothing there for death to release… so you are nothing and no one ever again. A fate worse than death."

I stare at her and say nothing.

"She will heal eventually," Mother Hestia says, motioning to the tree and trying to change the subject when Myrrha cries out. "But my light can not reach to help and her roots run deep. She will never be free of this transformation." I look away at that and close my eyes because of the pitiful way Myrrha cries at the news. "The only hope now is that she forgets and she will forget eventually. They all do. You did well, Persephone," she says, looking at me with her hands folded into her white sleeves. "You did minimal damage bringing the boy forth. Most would have cut her open."

The baby starts whimpering again so I place his tiny hand on her bark and he calms down enough to fall into a deep and untroubled sleep once more.

"We will find a family in want of a child," My mother says as I look up at Myrrha's quivering branches. "Kind hearted mortals to raise him properly."

"Why can we not take care of him?" I ask sharply, annoyed suddenly at the thought of leaving him with other people so far away from his mother…. So far away from me.

"Persephone," my mother says my name with a sigh. "You can not really mean to raise this child yourself. That is not something we do. It is not something that is done."

"Why?" I ask sharply, frustrated and annoyed. "Why must we adhere to all these rules? Why must things be so unchanging?"

My mother says nothing to that and Mother Hestia stays silent, staring at me from behind her pale moon veil that she has let fall over her face.

No one speaks for a while. The silence hangs between us as the distant noises of night rumble in the darkness.

"We must burn him," Mother Hestia says after a time as she picks up her lantern and pulls out the ball of burning purple flames. It lights the pleasing contours of her face, giving her a haunted sheen as she cradles it in her hands. I give her an incredulous look, knowing how fragile clayborns can be.

"No," I shake my head, taking a step back. "You can not kill him."

Mother Hestia gives me a funny kind of look.

"It will not hurt him," she explains slowly, seemingly confused that I would not understand her meaning. "We must burn the scent of you off him."

"So no one will know what you have done," My mother says, but she is not looking at me, her divine eyes track something far off on the horizon. "It must be done quickly."

I step back again and hold the child to my breasts protectively, standing slightly behind the tree as I could ever hope to hide from such powerful hosts… but judgments in the dead earth have shown me what fire can do to mortals. It is an unpleasant death that leaves souls disfigured. Divine fire burns even hotter.

"Persephone," my mother says gently, like I was an idiot. "You must trust us. No one else can know what happened and someone approaches. Can you not hear?"

No, I can not. My hearing is not as sharp as hers… my eyes are not as powerful.

I look around the tree to see my mother standing there in the moonlight. My mother…. Overprotective and sometimes overbearing… but loving and kind when it mattered most. Suddenly I see myself as a child, walking alongside her in the woods, her hand open in an invitation that I would always take. A perfect day in the haze of youth before self doubt came to strip me of that innocent wonder.

A time when she was my world and I was hers.

I nod my hand.

I have been a terrible daughter. Reaching for a life I knew nothing about and so ready to discard the one she built for me. The least I could do is trust her. Mother Hestia takes the baby from my arms and places him on the dry ground- away from the pool of blood and from the tree who wails in desperation.

I stand by my mother. She puts her arm around me as Mother Hestia places the purple flame on his chest.

It engulfs him quickly- a truly wicked sight… and the flame burns away my father's red cloak until it is nothing but ash. The boy begins squirming around, his face pinched in discomfort and his little hands balled into fists. Myrrha begins to scream into the night time air and I move forward, but my mother stops me.

"He is not in pain," she explains when he begins to cry. I look at her, trying to have faith. His body remains unblemished… It does not darken or crack like so many I have seen perish by flame…. "He is fine..."

All is well.

The three of us stand around him, engulfed by the purple flames and the strange smell of his mother's sap. After some time, Mother Hestia bends down to retrieve her fire and the child falls asleep once more.

"I am sorry about the cape," she says as she puts the fire back in her lantern.

She reaches down and picks up the thunderbolt pin that survived the flames and she hands it to me. I clean it against my dress, watching it shine anew against Mother Hestia's purple flame, aware of the eyes on me.

My mother removes her veil and helps me swaddle the infant up. I bring him back to his mother and sit beside her on the blood soaked ground. I check his hands, his face, his stomach… He seems perfectly fine and I start humming a song to him, pressing my nose to his hair once more because I like the way he smells even if he no longer smells of me.

I glance up once to find my mother staring at me again.

You can not keep him, her look seems to say. He is not yours.

I turn away from her.

A silence falls around us as the baby sleeps peacefully- even his mother has stopped weeping so loudly due to his closeness… but then there is a rustling in the darkness and Mother Hestia looks up as Ascalaphus begins circling overhead in warning, finally returned from his hiding place. My mother, being much older and wiser than I, can spot the approaching danger and she stands in front of me as if to shield me from it.

The baby begins to shift against me so I hold him tighter when Aphrodite appears. Windswept and lovely in a golden dress made of metal coins and chains, her form had changed to reflect the beauty of where she was last. Her hair is dark and tightly curled, her skin brown and unblemished.

"What an odd scene the three of you make," she says, her golden girdle cinched tightly at her waist.

The anger I feel towards her returns anew and I feel the rage bubble in my throat, so I stand up.

"How wonderful." She opens her arms to me and smiles. "Give the child to me."

No! Myrrha screams into my light. Please! No!

I wince and turn my back on her to face the tree. There is a moment of silence at the disrespectful act, but if they found it rude, no one said so.

"What will you do with a clay born child?" Mother Hestia asks curiously to break the tension.

"Well," she starts and when I glance over my shoulder, she smiles- her lips as pink as the wild orchid. "Perhaps I'll eat him." She laughs when no one else does. It was a wicked thing to say in present company and she seems to realize that a little too late. "What does it matter to you what I do with it? It is mine as penance for the mother's trespasses against me."

Help! Myrrha whispers in my ear. No.

"Sweetest Persephone," she says, all honey and sunshine to get my attention. "I will take what is owed to me now."

She comes close- so close I can smell her lovely perfume so I turn to face her and I step forward so that my mother does not need to shield me. I am not a child. I am not afraid. I am too great for that now.

"Thank you," she says, staring deeply into my eyes. Hestia's purple lantern flame flickers and her hair turns from curly brown to midnight black. "For helping to bring the child forth." She steps even closer and her face seems to change, morphing from a womanly softness to a man's firm sharpness. Her skin changes to the pale skin of the underworld and she grows tall, towering over me like Lord Hades in all his divinity. "The mortal girl would not pray to me for the help she clearly needed," she places her hand on my arm, gently gripping and I look down at it- seemingly lost and for a moment unsure of myself. "But it was a mercy- you see. After she laid with her father- the shame was too great and her afterlife cursed."

I know I should respond- perhaps disagree- but something strange is happening to me. Something that starts in my chest and dips between my legs. Her light shines on me and she kisses me inside of it with a pink sparkling glow all around us. I kiss back, filled with a burning hunger until my mother pulls her back.

"Just give the child to her," My mother says, taking the baby from my arms and handing him to Aphrodite. My arms are suddenly so empty and I keep them in position for a moment before blinking out of it and letting them fall limply at my sides. One of Aphrodite's lovely attendants comes from the shadows and she passes him off without care. "We mustn't fight among ourselves. Sweet Aphrodite is our dearest friend, of course."

"Of course," Aphrodite says with a smirk as she shakes her head and her features return to what they once were… her hair honey blonde… her eyes a poison emerald green..

No! Myrrha screams and it makes me wince again. Not her. I cover my ears, but it is of no use. She is inside my mind already. Please! No! No! You can not! You must not! Not her!

Aphrodite looks at me and smiles. I feel it again… the rage in my chest boiling and bursting like the river of fire.

"How kind you are. Yet… I feel anger radiating from you," she says sweetly. Myrrha begins crying again and she looks at the tree with a curious tilt of her head. "Perhaps I will chop her down and make a cradle from her body." She smirks. "Is that a kindness, Queen Persephone? That way you can not hear her cry."

"You can feed him from her fruit," Mother Hestia interjects as she plucks a few from Myrrha's thorny branches. "She will make many to last his first few years."

"Oh, I am sure I can find a more suitable arrangement," she says, smiling and not taking the offering. "In any case, I must be leaving. How nice it was to see you all again. So lovely and wise are the Great Mother's and how sweet and kind the daughter of All Powerful Zeus."

She leaves us with a cloud of perfume lingering behind her. I stare into the dark horizon, my bloody hands curled into fists and my eyes narrowed.

"Why would you bend to her will?" I ask, looking at my mother and dark eyed Mother Hestia. "She is nothing to you."

"The gifts Aphrodite wields are dangerous ," Mother Hestia answers, her voice is old and gentle. "Her artificial love is madness when placed inside a strengthened host. It is best to avoid that."

"You fear she will do that to us?" I ask, looking at her and then to my mother. "To me?"

"Lust in us is manipulation and desperation. It can be poisonous, but it can also be sad. Your mother rightly fears she will place it in one of the Great Fathers…. Perhaps Lord Hades… Perhaps Father Zeus…Even Poseidon, who has enough rageful lust of his own." She gives my mother a thoughtful look. "Their lust is powerful and violent. A great war to be won. Unfortunately- our strengths lie elsewhere but with Zeus already having his eyes on you… If you were to deny him when he was in the grips of Aphrodite's suggestion- I do not think he could resist it… and you would never be the same again… No woman is ever the same… after that….."

"So even the great mothers must do what she wants? Her threat is that great?"

"Perhaps it is," my mother whispers. "Or perhaps she will shine her light on you and have you lust after your own father like she did to this poor girl."

She motions to the tree… to the once beautiful Myrrha.

"Her gifts do not last that long in us- fleeting moments… but enough to cause trouble. And what would your father do if you approached him in such a way?" She asks. "Do you think he would see it for what it was and be kind?"

I know the answer, of course. Nothing good would come of it but I do not like giving Aphrodite that power over me. Mother Hestia announces that she must go… that she must return her everlasting flame to the hearth of Olympus and she tells my mother she will watch for signs of my forbidden actions being known. They kiss each other and embrace goodbye…. While I am given only a sad hand squeeze and an understanding nod of the head.

"We should return home too," My mother says, her voice gentle.

With a whispered word to the transformed woman- I follow in my mother's footsteps, trying to hide my deep displeasure. At some point Arion returns to us, but he says nothing and still seems strange so neither of us speak to him.

My mother retires to her chambers back in our hidden home and calls for her attendants to help bathe me of the sap and blood, but I dismiss them instead. I leave my mother's home and I find myself wandering through the trees of my mother's sacred forest where I find a large misshapen rock to sit on. I stare out in the distance, picking at my lower lip with a bloodied hand. Days pass… my mother comes… my sisters… but I do not hear or see them as I stare into the empty void beyond.

I can hear the transformed woman gently crying as I clutch the thunderbolt pendent in my hand. Her wooden heart is broken- calling out for the child she calls Adonis and longing for her human form. I can feel the infant's hunger and confusion. His pain also pains me. He cares not for divinity… only for comfort that a host like Aphrodite can not give… and why is it that Aphrodite gets to have the things she wants? Why can I not have what I desire? Why further the punishment of the boy's mother?

I do not think it is kindness that motivates her. The concept is foreign to her…. Because her love was selfish… a wicked, burning flame that crumbled kingdoms and broke hearts in the name of desire. The pointed tip of the lightning cuts my palm and I look down at the golden blood on my skin before I let it fall to the ground.

Ascalaphus flies overhead and I look up at the darkness. There are no stars visible…It is too cloudy for that, but a sweeping wind pushes them out of the way to show a full moon. My owl companion lands near me and tilts his head, his orange eyes gleaming as if to tell me you promised. Remember? You promised our King. I do not want to move and I will not move until I turn into a tree. Like Myrrha and like the thousands of mortals we have damned to punishment.

The moon slowly lurches across the sky. The world around me hums but I remain still like the stone I sit upon. Perhaps one day nature will claim me as it claims so many things. I will fall to the earth and be embraced by Mother Gaia as the plants of the forest climb and twist around me until I am nothing but a memory. A story to be told full of roots and bugs and sadness.

I move only when I hear crying.

A familiar sound from a familiar voice.

I stand as Ascalaphus takes off into the night and I follow him to the edge of the woods, curious to find the infant settled on the other side in a cradle made of earth and twigs. I watch him cry for a moment and then send a furtive look around before walking through the stream. The dried blood leaves a rusty trail in the water behind me and my feet become muddy with wet earth- but I pause before crossing my mother's barrier, smelling the danger in the air.

Aphrodite appears beside the makeshift cradle and she stares at me with glittering green eyes.

I glance at Adonis. He is well fed and clean, but his heart is unhappy. Swaddled in silk with a woolen hat, I hardly recognize him from the sap covered babe I had delivered into this world.

"Sweetest Persephone," I hear Aphrodite's seductive voice carry on the western wind and I back up, nearly tripping in the water to get away from it. Her hair is down… unadorned and her face is clean of cosmetics. She is at her loveliest when she is not hiding behind her womanly armor. "How wonderful it is to see you again."

"What is this?" I ask suspiciously. "Why have you come here?"

She places a delicate foot against the twigs and dirt Adonis rests in. She keeps eye contact with me as she gently pushes it forward. It glides along the water, and I go forth to catch it before the dirt holding it all together turns to mud and falls apart within the stream. I pick up Adonis and hold him to me, adjusting his silks and running my fingers down his soft cheek, my legs now deep in the cold water that rushes by much faster than before.

"Softer than a lamb's ear," she says thoughtfully, watching me with calculating eyes. "New skin. It's quite intoxicating, isn't it?"

He smells of her sweet perfume, but that newborn scent that I find so pleasing is still there under his cap.

"What do you want?" I ask after a moment, looking up from the sleeping babe to find Aphrodite now knee deep in the water before me.

She says nothing for a few moments. She just looks at me and then her green eyes slide down to Adonis.

"Your Lord Husband came to me," she says flatly, not letting the emotions under her skin rise to the surface. Though I sense them there. The tempest of her rage and indignity that awaits me should I push her. "With him he brought Death and Sleep. Into my hall… into my court… Reaching darkly painted hands into the people that I love."

I furrow my brows, trying to read the situation as she starts fiddling with the golden rope at her waist.

"I know nothing of it," I tell her seriously. "I didn't ask him–"

"I know," she says quickly, cutting me off. "I know. He made sure that I understood all about your gentle heart. Something he doesn't possess, I am afraid."

I resist asking her what happened… What Lord Hades had done that brought her to my mother's sacred wood with this child- but I do not. There is a pride within me that stops me from asking.

"So, I am here to deliver this child unto you," she says, her eyes never once leaving mine. I want to look away. Having her continuously stare me down is starting to unnerve me, but I will not give her the pleasure. "Raise him well in the dead earth and make a man of him. He will return to me once he is of age and better to my liking."

She finally breaks eye contact to look down at the boy.

"And I shall forgive you—"

"Forgive me?" I say, nearly laughing. "What have I done that needs to be forgiven?"

She looks at me again. Her face is lovely and so well formed.

"Do you not know?" she blinks at me. When I don't answer- she steps closer and my mother's barrier shimmers in warning. "Involving a Great Father in the matters of women," she shakes her head. "That is a grave betrayal, indeed."

"But I didn't-

"I know," she smiles. "You are but a helpless host. A delicate little flower needing protection and a strong hand to guide your fate… but I will forgive the weakness," She says. "Just as you will forgive me my strength. How at odds we have been when we could be friends instead."

I step back to put more space between us.

"I ask for only one thing in return," she says, giving me a tight smile. "I hear you received many fine gifts on your wedding night. I may have use for one of them soon enough."

I say nothing, waiting for her to explain.

"There is only one beautiful death known to still be in existence," she says and I think of Hypnos and his gift given on my wedding night. A death like sleep to any clayborn who looked upon its glowing sphere. "I may send a mortal to your shores." Her face crinkles in disgust like the thought repelled her. "She may ask for your beauty… And you will give her your beautiful death in return."

The night time air is thick… menacing as it brews with Chaos. Hers and mine calling to one another to ruin the world as we know it.

"Why would I ever do that for you?" I whisper, thinking of all the mortals Aphrodite has tortured…. Poor girls like Adonis' mother who now weeps golden sap in the shape of a tree.

"Because…"

She steps through the barrier. I should not be surprised as all women were welcome in my mother's woods… but I thought a host such as Aphrodite would be an exception to that particular rule.

"I may not be able to trifle with Lord Hades," she says, her voice a deep, dark whisper. She is taller than I am so I must tilt my chin up to see her. She looks at me as a lover would- her eyes dark with promise and lust. "Perhaps I can not trifle with you either as you are now revered by Death, and Sleep, and all those things that rip away the joys of living- but you do not want to make an enemy of me. I will follow you like a shadow and every soul you look fondly on will know the burning pain of my gifts. You of all people must know how false love can twist the light of mortals and hosts alike until you are a burned up husk of nothing- giving into each pleasure I plant in your head in spite of the pain and suffering of others."

I say nothing to the threat. There was an ugliness to lust and twisted love. I know that. I've seen it in our halls below. Coveting youth too young to know better…. Hurting innocents for your own pleasure... Pain and power on young bodies and simple minds….degrading ends and broken bodies…. Pure malice disguised as devotion.

A part of me wants to rage back at her…. Show her I am not to be treated in such a way. That I am every bit the queen I was made to be…. but then I remember how my mother- and even Mother Hestia- stressed caution when dealing with the host Aphrodite. I choose to be careful instead of rash. The babe in my arms seems to ground me and I swallow my own pride, letting her have her anger alone.

"So. You shall have the child you want," she smiles down at him as he moves in my arms. "The only child you will perhaps ever have," she adds, her emerald eyes glancing at mine and smirking. "And in return you will deliver the beautiful death to the girl I will send to your shadowed gates."

"If I do that for you," I start, trying not to show my displeasure. "What then?"

"Then we will be closer than sisters," she says, leaning down and kissing my cheek. Her lips burn my skin and her scent fills my mind with blossoms. "All is forgiven and you will find I am a good ally to have in the matters of desire."

I pull back and she gives me a knowing smile like she could read the worry on my brow.

"And here I leave you," she says. "Hoping one day we shall be the best of friends and in me you will have another protector, if you allow yourself the pleasure."

She is gone then with the wind… and I stare out into the twinkling darkness trying to understand what she had told me and what that could mean. Adonis shifts within my arms again and I smile down at his perfect little face. The moonlight shines upon us like the dead lights below and all I can think of is getting him to the safety of the dead earth where nothing can hurt us or take him away again.

I walk to my mother's wood and find our hidden home among the trees and overgrowth. Ascalaphus flies overhead and I glance up at him for a moment before finding my mother by her sacred hearth in the round room etched with the ancient symbols of old. The fire burns green and blue as she throws grain and seeds into the flames, making our home smell of fresh bread and summer sun.

"I must return to the dead earth," I say to her profile, trying to keep my voice strong and steady as I hold the sleeping child against my breast. "I will take this child there and raise him myself."

She says nothing at first, she just stares into the fire, her face tired and set in concentration.

"I will return when I can," I tell her, walking around the fire to face her.

"If that is what you wish," she says, not looking away from the flames. "To raise a living child in the dead earth away from me."

"It is safer there," I say so she will understand. "Safer for him and for me. It is not forever, mother," I reassure her. "I will return often to visit."

"Visit?" she sneers at the word. "So the kingdom below is now your true home, after all."

"I must belong somewhere," I whisper as the child begins to stir.

"You don't think you belong here?"

"Not anymore," I whisper, thinking of Mother Gaia's ancient hands sprouting from the ground. "I belong now in the dead earth."

With my Lord Husband.

She closes her eyes for a moment, seemingly pained by my admission. The fire cracks and flares, growing and changing colors until settling into a bright, shimmering red. A sealed scroll presents itself in the middle and she looks to me for a moment before plucking it from the flames.

"What is that?" I ask as she reads the seal.

"A summons," she says, her voice worried. She rolls it in her fingers and reads the burning ink glowing like embers on the outside. "From Zeus."

She furrows her bows and then slowly looks at me.

"What's wrong?" I whisper, not liking the way she is looking at me. "Will you not open it?"

She says nothing in reply.

She is suddenly hurried as she runs to her desk and picks up a pile of strange dirt and oddly shaped seeds. She throws it into the flame and then stares into the fire, her eyes narrowed and concentrated on something I know not. The flames seem to answer her and she turns to me, grabbing my arm to pull me from the round room and into the night time air.

"What is happening?" I ask, not understanding. "Tell me what is going on."

"You want to return to the dead earth," she says. "You shall now go to the dead earth."

"Mother," I snap before she can grab my arm again. "What is this? What was that scroll? You didn't even open it."

"It was from Zeus," she repeats what I already know, taking off her own cloak to put around my shoulders. She clips it at my throat and then stuffs my hair inside the hood. "It was a summons for you. I do not have to read it to know what he wants. He rarely makes personal summons within the god's flame. The last one I remember was for Prometheus."

Prometheus.

The name alone is a serious warning to not go against Zeus. I can imagine him now on the hillside, the red eyes of his kind closed in never ending agony all because he dared to help the very beings that Father Zeus claims to love above all others. He too broke a sacred law written by Father Zeus who wanted to keep the clayborn simple and childlike….never to grow or flourish as a civilization because he knew that- as he had overthrown his father… and as his father had overthrown his father before him- one day the clayborn men and women of the living earth would topple him on his mighty throne.

"He must know then," I say, trying to not let my voice tremble as I look down at Adonis. "This means he must know what I–"

"Hades has a whole kingdom at his command… A whole army, if he wished it." She interrupts me. "Full of ancient hosts that are not so easily swayed." I can not find the words to say, so I just stare at her. "Your brother rests at the southern crossing. He has been there for a fortnight. He will take you to Hades' gate if you ask it of him."

She takes the baby from my arms.

"I will give the child to Hecate to bring below in due time," she says when I give her a troubled look at the loss. "He will be safe with her hounds and lighted torch- but it will be best not to travel together. Now go, sweet girl." She kisses my cheek. "Be steadfast and swift…. And don't let Hades get the best of you."

"But–"

She pushes me. Her voice is now urgent and frightening. "Go now."

Her tone makes me listen. Her tone frightens me. I spare Adonis one last look before I run through the trees to the southern crossing, where my mother's sacred wood splits into two hillsides with a deep valley between them. Arion waits for me there, beautiful in the moonlight with his diamond eyes sparkling.

Sister.

He greets me quickly before letting me climb on his back after I tell him of what has transpired. Ascalaphus flies near, his glowing orange eyes watching us carefully before he takes off ahead. Arion waits just a moment before he begins his run into the valley. With our descent- I see lightning strike out of the corner of my eye. With it descends Father Zeus. I see him glowing golden in the torchlight outside of my mother's sacred wood and something upsetting settles in my stomach.

"We should go back," I say to Arion as his swiftness takes us from the valley and into another neighboring village.

I think of fragile Adonis and my mother's warm smile. How strong Father Zeus is and how wicked his wrath. I try to turn us around, but Arion will not heed my demand and he asks me what I believe I could accomplish if I returned.

"I can help," I answer, though not as convincingly as I would have liked.

Mother will be fine, he says. Mother is strong.

Then why did she send me away? She did not think herself strong enough to protect me from my father. What hope did she have against him if I was not there to help?

When we reach the ice capped mountains- it starts raining. A vicious thunderstorm rolls in from the North… all lightning and thunder and violence. Arion is frightened but continues to run. We come upon a bare meadow and then to the mouth of the hidden cave where the darkness descends to the Godly Gates of Hades. Thinking of my Lord Husband brings me comfort. Where my mother was unsure of her strength against my father, Lord Hades had the entire darkened realm at his back and I trusted him to shield me from this storm.

Lightning strikes the ground in front of us, causing Arion to rear up on his back legs and kick at the air in fear.

The movement makes me fall from his back and onto the muddy ground. A hurricane west wind sweeps through the meadow, pushing me over again when I try to sit up and it sends Arion running for the trees. I stand, hunched against the vicious weather and blinking furiously when the rain gets in my eyes and clouds my vision. My cloak rises up and becomes tangled around my legs. I try to step forward but I stumble again, my hands slipping awkwardly in the mud making me fall on my face before I can catch myself. The rain turns into a punishing hale coming down from a clouded night time sky and I flinch with each painful hit of ice.

"Let me help."

Father Zeus appears before me in a shock of white and violet lightening and he helps me to my feet.

The rain does not affect him. He is dry and untouched by the storm. The mud slips down the left side of my face- some of it getting in my eyes and making them burn all over again like when they were healing from my mutilation.

"I have been looking for you," he says, his voice jovial and hiding a deeper darkness as I try to rub the mud from my vision. "Are you returning to your husband? To his depressing kingdom below?" He smiles and it's radiant. "Do you mean to hide from me?"

I can see the glint in his eyes… the anticipation of the chase. I feel sick to my stomach. The bile of disgust burns my throat while the ancient winds move around us like a coiling snake, ready to do his bidding.

"Nothing to say?" he tilts his head, his auburn hair loose and without his crown. "No even a greeting for your father?"

I say nothing. My body is warning me of the danger and begging me to run. But I do not. I can not run. I will not. Because I am a queen…. and because I think he would like it too much.

"I have something I'd like to talk to you about," he says, moving closer to me with a divine intent. "You will come with me now."

It was not a question, but a command dressed in a pretty voice.

He offers me his hand and I stare at it. The rain and hail stops for a moment…. A reprieve from the messy song of Chaos. The western wind whips itself around us, making a room of violent howls and whistling whispers before falling dead silent. Suddenly it was as if my father and I were the only two beings in the whole universe. Nothing but him and me and the pain that lies ahead.

"We have much to discuss."

I have the strange urge to cry… as a child cries when they are unsure and scared. I hold my ground the best I can, staring at his hand and then at his purple eyes that sparkle against his handsome face. His expression speaks of darkness and forbidden desires... Of violations and an imbalance of power too great for me to overcome.

I can not take his hand when everything inside of me is warning me not to.

"Come." He says, his voice sounding more annoyed and commanding.

He even snaps his fingers when I do not obey.

I go to say something, anything, really… but I see a hand slip over Father Zeus' eyes and Hypnos whispers glittering red words into his ear until he falls dead asleep on the ground with a thump that shakes the earth.

"Quick," Hypnos says as Megaera and her sisters come crawling from the cave. They look like spiders- creepy crawling things with glowing eyes. "Take him to Olympus," he commands as they lift up Father Zeus on their broad shoulders, wicked faces looking so beautiful and angry. "And lay him in the gardens of forever night."

They ascend at the edge of the clearing and the rain storm goes with them. Shivering and cold, I stare at Hypnos and his boylike face.

"Please," he offers me his arm. "Let me escort you below, My Queen."

I allow him to lead us to the cave and I glance over my shoulder… looking for danger and for my poor horse brother who has abandoned me once again.

"Will Father Zeus not seek retribution for you using your gifts against him?" I ask worriedly, finding myself relieved when we pass through the cave entrance.

Hypnos drops my arm once inside as we must crawl through a narrow passage and down into a small hole that opens up into a large, glittering cavern. It's lit by pale moon torches that show the earth made pillars of slick limestone that have grown and multiplied over the ages. They reach down and reach up towards each other in a damp, impossible dance.

A narrow staircase spirals down into the depths of our kingdom and I start biting my nails nervously to stop my hands from shaking.

"He may," he answers after a tense moment as he pulls one of the torches from the wall to light our way. "But I suspect he will be preoccupied with other things."

My feet slip on the wet stone stairs as we make our way down and Hypnos catches me every time, his ancient strength showing itself with the firm grip of his hand. Even though his voice is nonchalant, his movements are quick and almost panicked.

"He is now at the mercy of Hera."

"Mother Hera?" I ask in surprise, stopping for a moment and grabbing a jagged rock that jets out from the wall for balance.

"Yes," is all he says, his winter storm eyes twirling and spinning like a blizzard as he turns on the stairs to look up at me. "A bastard of Zeus has ignited her Chaos. She seeks retribution."

Retribution? I furrow my brows but do not get to ask more as he takes my hand and leads me deeper into the darkness. The cave smells of damp earth and winter winds. The closer we get to the gates, the more familiar the scent of our kingdom becomes.

"This bastard is known to us," he whispers beside me as we walk deeper into the depths of the underworld, the pale moonlight of his torch shines on his golden head of hair and winged crown. "Hera had cursed him with a cruel madness that caused him to murder his wife and children. He is strong," he says. "Lord Hades was displeased with the brutality of it."

The sick feeling is back in my stomach and I make a face at it. In the darkness, his nocturnal eyes shine, reflecting back at me. He must read the unease on my face because he gives me a sad half smile but says nothing else to comfort me.

"We are almost there," he whispers, stepping aside to let me pass him.

The stairs come to an abrupt end and around the bulk of a rather large rock formation rests the Godly Gates of Hades. They sit wide and impossibly tall, made of sparkling crystals and heavy, shining metals painted white that twist and turn to form a menacingly beautiful design. They open with my approach as if enchanted to welcome me home. When they close behind us, Hypnos releases the tension that had built up in his body. He relaxes his shoulders a bit and lets out a breath as he looks up at the cavern ceiling.

"Do you not fear Father Zeus?" I ask curiously, as I study his profile, myself feeling more at ease now we are officially within the dead earth.

Now that we are officially home.

"Perhaps Zeus should fear me," he whispers and I blink in surprise as I have always viewed Hypnos as a gentle host. Younger looking than his ancient years, but still sweet in his disposition.

He glances at me and then the hardiness in his face seems to change to something softer, more vulnerable.

"I must beg your forgiveness, My Queen" he says, his brow furrowed with sudden worry. He takes my hand in his and looks into my eyes as he falls to one knee. The movement surprises me and I raise my eyebrows. "I failed to protect you in the pit. It is something I must now live with… but I promise I will never fail you again." He places his forehead against my fingers. "I swear on all the things I hold dear in this world- I will be a steadfast and reliable host unto you."

I do not know what to say. Should I tell him there is nothing to forgive as I never once blamed him for any of it? Should I apologize as well for letting myself be tempted to the darkness and bringing him with me? Should I tell him I am sorry for leaving him there stuck in time on the glass black sand?

"I trusted you then and I trust you now," I decided, pulling my hand back and helping him to his feet. His bronze tunic shines in the pale light and his face is made beautiful by its grace. "There is nothing to forgive… and you have my thanks," I say gently. "For whispering your gift into the ear of my Father. I fear…" I place my hand on my throat… not willing to say more as the thought is too disturbing. "Anyways," I shake my head to rid it of the thought. "Thank you."

He smiles.

"Lord Hades waits for us," he says, nodding to the path ahead and taking off in that direction like he realized waiting any longer would not be wise. The cavern gives way to the misty land of the underworld- with its rolling hills and shadowed halls. "He has closed the arches in precaution. We must travel by foot."

"Hypnos," I say as I put heavy, wet hair over my shoulder. He stops and turns to me again, a curious tilt of his fine head. "What is the name of this son of Zeus that Hera is so vexed about?"

There were so many of them now it was hard to keep track. My half brothers and sisters roamed the living earth with varying degrees of power and renown- all of them an insult to the Great Mother.

"Is it Perseus?" I ask, remembering what Mother Hera had requested of me in my mother's sacred wood.

He shakes his head.

"Heracles." Hypnos answers with a strange kind of smile. "You can imagine how pleased she is about that."

Heracles.

That poor halfling never stood a chance.

I feel a presence and look to find Lord Hades approaching on his golden chariot. His horses of night shake the earth and the smoke rolls from their nostrils as they run along the path. Hypnos bows his head respectfully when Lord Hades draws near.

"Zeus slumbers," Hypnos says, lifting his head to look upon his king when he brings his chariot to a stop. "The furies have delivered him to Hera."

Lord Hades steps off of the chariot and walks forward to place his hand on the neck of one of his horses. Alastor, the great black stallion, stands proud and accepts the affection.

"He will not remember," Hypnos adds, clearing his throat after a moment of awkwardness. "He will not remember he came to the living earth at all."

"Let us hope that Hera's rage will keep him occupied this time," my Lord Husband says.

I go towards him and he glances at me. I can tell he is angry… I can feel it radiating off him and I touch his chest to cool his temper. His Chaos sings, but it is restrained behind his careful control. Mine is but a whimper as fear has made me weak.

"You were right," I whisper as he looks down at me, his hair windswept as his eyes dance over my face. "Zeus is no true father of mine."

"My King," Hypnos gets our attention with a polite bow of his head. "Shall I leave you now?"

Lord Hades nods his head, dismissing him with a wave of his leather gloved hand. When he is gone, Lord Hades turns back to me and he looks as though he wants to say something- but he thinks better of it and turns away.

"We shall venture deeper," he says, looking at the sparkling gates with distrust. He places his hand on the small of my back to lead me to his chariot made of lacquered wood and beaten gold.

"Hold on," he commands.

He takes the reins and I grip the sidewall as he urges the horses to turn and retreat back into our kingdom.

It is not a smooth ride. I find myself moving around a lot to the point where Lord Hades grabs me from falling and pulls me in front of him. Between his strong arms he directs his horses and I watch their backs as they run through the blue grassed meadows and in between the midnight mountains. The shining palace waits for us in the distance. It is a twisted looking thing, pulled from the ground and sculpted from black granite and colorful crystals that glitter like living things under the pale dead lights above. It has no windows and no discernible doors- just crooked towers encased in gold and imposing battlements that are all a glamor to hide the immense caverns within.

I have never seen it so clearly before and I find myself in awe of its beauty. The arches that allow us to travel from one place to the next have always kept its wonder hidden from me and I find myself wanting to stop to admire it properly.

"We must go under," he whispers into my ear. "It is the only way now."

I don't know what he means- but I like the way his muscles flex as he controls the reins, how his body tenses as he tugs from the left and to the right. I like the feeling of his power, and his strength, and how very big he is… It used to scare me- his size and his intensity … but now it brought me comfort. I know he is all that stands between me and the dangers on the living earth- and I couldn't have chosen a better champion to go against the affections of Father Zeus.

I look up at him as the dead air whips through my hair.

He glances at me before looking back at the path ahead.

How different things are now.

When I traveled the underworld I was left mostly to myself, but traveling the winding roads with Lord Hades was a different matter altogether. Creatures, and shades, and infernal hosts come forth from their hiding places to show reverence. They fall to their knees and bow their heads as we pass and some reach out as if to touch the hem of his fine robes.

"My King," they say. "My Glorious King."

I look up at him once more when we stop just outside the walls of our sacred home. Where the halls of judgment and jubilee run alongside each other just like the worlds of torment and pleasure dance together. A crack appears on the dead earth and widens just enough for his horses to run inside. We ride into the narrow, airless tunnel and the ground seals shut behind us as we go deeper into the inky black darkness.

I turn my face more against him, finding the tunnel unpleasant.

When we finally break through the ground, I open my eyes to find we are just outside the Gates of Hades… the large arched doors that lead into our sacred chambers. The mud on my hair and face has started to dry into a hard mask and I pick at it as the gates open to reveal the green marbled Hall of Three Kings with its riches and spinning pillars.

Lord Hades steps off of the chariot and removes his leather gloves. He hands them off to a waiting attendant and then he comes back to me. I'm reminded of the day he first took me. I will make a queen out of you, he had said. He was so cold then… dismissive and mean….

"You're dirty," he points out and I can't help but smile at him

He puts his hands on my waist and I put mine on his shoulders so he can lift me, but before he can- I kiss him. I care not for his attendants or anyone else who might see the affection. It is a very rare thing for me to tower over him- so I take advantage of the height difference and run my fingers through his hair, gripping gently at the back of his head to deepen the kiss with my tongue against his.

"You will not return to the living earth," he says when he pulls back, his hair now messy and his eyes quite serious. "I forbid it."

There are four attendants behind him. Ashy faced and looking uncomfortable, they keep their heads bowed. The three once living kings sit on their thrones, but I don't even have to glance their way to know they are watching.

"Yes, husband," I whisper to please him.

That was a fight for another time. Not when so many others were watching. If his presence and strength could give me comfort, perhaps my words of obedience could do the same for him.

"My place is here."

He wants to smile. I can tell, but he decides against it and uses his strength to lift me and place me on the ground beside him.

He starts talking to his attendants- about security and something else important but I'm not really listening. I go over to the arches of the afterlife and I look into shining Elysium with her healthy green grass and flowing river that glitters under the false golden sun. I glance at Lord Hades. He has his hands on his hips and his authoritative voice booms and echos off the walls. I pick more mud from my hair before walking under the archway and into the fake sun of paradise.

This world smells of flowers… but not the ones that grow above.

They smell of the darkened earth. A deeper, sensual smell that I have come to enjoy.

A woman lounges by the river, her nakedness protected by the shade of a poplar tree that has white bark and dark patches along the trunk. Elysium was made mostly an illusion for the dead- its land and trees as false as the sun above… but the poplar tree was a real thing… a living thing… a shiny golden thing…. And it confused me.

After a few moments, she stands up, her face buried in a dream as she walks off with no care for me at all. She disappears in the distance, leaving me alone to stare at the gleaming river.

How refreshing it seemed… how cleansing.

I can not remember the last time I bathed. Still caked in the thick sap like blood of Myrrha and covered in mud, the water seems to call to me in the ancient song of renewal. I know I am filthy and unkempt… so unlike my Lord Husband who is always clean and tidy. I do not like the feel of it. I start undoing the clasps at my shoulders as I walk towards the water, stopping under the shade of the poplar tree with its dual colored leaves of green and white.

I let my dress fall to the ground and I turn slightly when I hear a faint whispering melody.

The poplar is singing such a sweet and lovely song. It was not of the dead earth… but it was not of the living world either. I make a face and walk closer to the tree, placing my hand on the bark and wondering of its origin… but the water pulls me back. The current moving south and reflecting the light of the false sun in pleasing little ripples.

I step into the water.

It is cool on my skin and I dip all the way under to get my body used to the feel of it. The bank of the river falls off abruptly to where I can not touch, so I swim back to the shallow end and run the water over my arms and face to get rid of the grime that covered me.

"That is the sacred river of Mnemosyne."

I turn around to find Lord Hades watching me from beside the strange tree. I wring water out of my hair and stare at the bark of the poplar, perplexed once more by its song.

"Its power is very potent here," he warns. "You mustn't drink it."

I look down at the water- trying to remember my lessons and what this river was. What did Lord Hades call it? Mnemosyne. The host of memories… mother to the divine muses. This is her river and it runs a twisted path through Elysium. Why? As a kindness, I suppose… to allow the dead to drink and live in a dream-like state of peace.

"It must be nice to live in a memory," I whisper as I dip down, the water grazing my chin as I move my arms along the current. "To relive only the good things…" I trail off, thoughtful for a moment. "What do you suppose they think of most?" I ask curiously.

"Most choose to live in the beginning of their story," he answers. "Childhoods… First loves… New adventures and the raising of small children." I think of Adonis and wonder if he is safe. "They are not fond of the end of things or the trudging middle that gets them to where they are going." He is thoughtful, his brows knitted together. "When things are fresh and full of possibilities- that is when they are at their happiest."

"What of you?" I ask. "What memory brings you the most peace?"

"I have not many," he admits.

I look away, uncomfortable with his trauma.

"I envy your childhood," he says after a few moments pause, looking so intently at me that I feel compelled to look right back. "I am grateful my sister was such a good mother to you as she had no model to be so. I wonder what the world would look like- if all of us were so loved by our mothers."

"Do you think Mother Rhea did not love you?"

My mother held a deep warmth for her mother and also a great deal of pity. You see, she would explain, Mother Rhea is a broken host. A veiled beauty of shaking white hands who never left Mount Olympus, the abuse she suffered had made her meek and weak willed. I saw her only once and I remember how she trembled. It is the guilt, my mother had said. It consumes her. The guilt and regret that ate away at her was punishment enough despite what her brothers had thought.

Father Zeus revered her as he was the child who broke her cycle of abuse but he was the only one who seemed to give her that grace. She had spent time after the Great War trying to make amends that fell mostly on deaf ears…. But She had no choice, you understand, my mother once told me as she combed my hair. Something her own mother had never done for her as she grew and screamed inside her father's stomach. Mother Rhea had lived her life under the fist of an ancient host who dominated, and subjugated, and brought fear into her heart. That was what I was told… but only a woman could understand another woman, my mother had taught me. Only a mother could understand another mother.

Lord Hades was neither of those things and he would never see the bravery of finally standing up to an abusive husband.

"She had no choice," I find myself saying my mother's words out loud and he nearly sneers at me for it.

"There is always a choice," he says and perhaps I agree with him too.

I think of my mother. The beautiful, giving Mother Demeter. Her auburn hair and sunshine smiles. The choices she had made to make sure I was always safe, and loved, and warm… and the hell she brought when I was taken from her. She would never have handed me off to be eaten and live a life or torture. No. Her love was too great… but perhaps Mother Rhea had great love as well… but her fear eclipsed it. I then think of my father. His flattering smiles and lingering touches… Uncomfortable bumps appear on my skin that I try to rid myself of by swimming deeper into the river.

"Come out of the water," he says, removing his fine cloak as if to wrap me in it. "You have been in there too long."

"Does the water memory only work if you drink it?" I ask, watching it slip off my fingertips.

The water drips on the surface of the river but when I look up- it is not Lord Hades that stands by the tree. It's Great Cronus. His red eyes blazing and his silver hair fine and straight. He was no longer naked. He was cloaked in the golden red hues of the sunrise and he wore a dazzling metal crown of daggers that was dipped in golden blood.

"You are a gift," he says, a shadow of a memory. "A gift to my son… a gift to the earth. The blood–" His voice is now behind me and I turn to see him standing close to me in the water. "Is full of so many mysteries."

He grabs my shoulders and pushes me under the water. I fight against it and the violence makes me inhale a sharp breath that allows the water to enter my lungs. I break free and pull myself up for air, coughing and sputtering as I move to the shallows to find my footing. When I look back to the coursing river- it is no longer Great Cronus who stands in my way- but Lord Hades. He is fully clothed and soaked, his hair wet and clinging to his face.

"What did you see?" He asks, his voice sounding breathless.

"Nothing."

Why did I lie? It came so easily to me just now that I find myself frowning because of it. He can tell, of course, and he makes a face as I cough into my arm.

"You were screaming," he says seriously, annoyed.

I resist the urge to lie again. But I want to. I want to tell him that I was not screaming no matter what he heard. That I was perfectly fine. That I was not afraid. That I was not uncomfortable, or cold, or disgusted with my father and with myself for no reason other than the unwanted attention I keep getting from those around me. That I have done nothing to anyone my entire life and I suddenly felt so pulled apart. Like a piece of meat getting diced up and thrown into a pot to be passed around to anyone wanting a bite.

I pulled myself from the river and took his dry cloak that was hanging on a tree branch. I wrap the thick material tightly around me and resist the chattering chill that wants to escape. The poplar still sings that strange song and I turn my head to look at it once more. I know not what it is- what language it speaks…but it feels wet and drenched in salty tears.

I glance at Lord Hades as he walks from the river, flicking hair out his eyes and making it flop over his right ear. He wrings water from the bottom of his embroidered tunic and doesn't even bother to look at me.

"What is this tree?" I ask. "It sounds strange."

"A memory," he answers flatly, in that cold way that he has.

"A memory of what?"

"Nothing," he says.

I narrow my eyes at the lie.

The muscles of his forearm clench and unclench as he tries to dry himself. Water drips from his hair and down the fine line of his nose as if it too wanted to touch as much of him as possible. He shakes the hair out of his face like an animal would and I wet my lips- feeling the desire build inside of me. I suddenly care not of his lies or of the tree…. Because he looks so very fine.

"Stop glaring at me," he says, feeling my eyes upon him.

He comes near to pick up his dry himation that sits in a pile by my feet but then decides to remove his wet tunic instead. He pulls it over his head and throws it to the side like he knew someone else would clean it up for him.

"I'm not glaring," I whisper, admiring his form.

He looks at me as he bends down to retrieve the pile of emerald green wool, but he stops when he senses my arousal. He tries to read my expression in the shrewd and calculating way that he has and then he stands straight when he realizes my desire. The false sun breaks through the twisted tree branches and falls across his face in just the right way that catches the beautiful intricacies of his eyes.

They weren't just purple… They were darker than my mother's and looked nearly black in the dead lights below- but they were a pale color of lavender around the center that burst forth like a distant star into a darkened purple haze. There was one black fleck in his right eye that was barely noticeable- but it was there. Like a small freckle on an otherwise unblemished surface. I wonder what I look like to him at this moment. Does he find me as beautiful and ethereal as I find him?

"I want to never be at the mercy of my father's affections," I say, looking at his lips. "I wish to be with no one else but you."

It takes him only a moment to pull me against him. His body is cold and wet, but I will warm him up well enough. I kiss his mouth, his neck, his chest. I lay him back on a bed of soft green grass and straddle his waist. His body is ready for mine- it has been since the moment he looked up and realized what I wanted from him.

"My King," I say with a smile. I unclasp his cloak so he may see all of me as I settle onto his firmness. "My Glorious King."

I steady myself with my hands on his chest and he reaches up to touch my breasts.

I move slowly at first before I find the right angle and then I start moving with more passion, the pleasure building within as I look down at his handsome face. The poplar tree starts singing again, so I look at it only for a moment to find a fair faced woman standing in its place- cloaked in snow white feathers with a head of dark hair. She doesn't seem real…. She doesn't seem solid…. so I close my eyes to get rid of her. Lord Hades feels the change in my movements and turns us so he is on top. I glance once at the tree to find it back as it was and I have to question whether she was really there at all. A memory, Lord Hades had said… but not one of mine.

He is steady in his lovemaking. He brings my leg up to rest in the crook of his elbow and kisses me deeply.

And then suddenly I am with Lord Hades at the mouth of the mountain cave of the Fates. He stumbles out… he struggles…glowing golden thread holding him together as he tries to find his footing against the rocks. His hair is freshly shorn and his face had been shaved by a sharpened shell that left a small cut on the tender flesh of his neck. Mother Rhea is there, veiled in green as she tries to throw a woolen cloak over Lord Hades' shoulders to cover his nakedness. He throws it off and presses his head against the stone wall. His wounds are fresh and angry- crying out in pain that he tries to control by slamming his fist into the mountainside until stones become loose and start falling around them.

"My son…" Mother Rhea whispers cautiously. He looks at her, his eyes bloodshot and blinking against the pain. "Your sisters wait for you—"

She is cut off by screams coming from the cave. The distinctive voice of Lord Poseidon echoes through the chasm as he is put back together with a burning needle.

"My son…" Mother Rhea grabs his hand. She had a strong jaw, but no resolve to go with it. "Your younger brother waits for you as well."

Lord Hades looks at the cave.

"No," Mother Rhea corrects. "Another. Stronger. Untouched by violence. It is he who will overthrow the tyrant king. You must fight with him. You must help him win this Great War to come."

Lord Poseidon yells out again and Lord Hades clears his throat a few times, coughing up golden blood before glaring at his mother and yanking his hand away.

"Untouched by violence?" he says, his voice is very new to the world and uneasy in speech. "Was it not you who gave us up to the pain so freely?"

"My son, I—"

He starts coughing again and the pain makes him fall to his knees. She tries to comfort him, but he throws her off and she stumbles back. Nearly falling, she catches herself on a large stone and looks surprised by his anger.

"My son…"

He storms past her tear streaked face and into the waiting sun of new beginnings…. And suddenly we are in my mother's sacred wood on a misty summer morning where one of my mother's nymph attendants plays the double pipes. Another accompanies her on the three stringed instrument of the muses and the music they play is light and pleasing. A perfect enough melody for such a celebration.

It was the first morning of my majority. I was now a woman who had reached her god's age.

The future was bright and with it brought a promise of something not yet known to me. The world smelled fresh and the dew lingered on the leaves of the plants and trees that were honored enough to grow within my mother's forest. It felt like this morning would last forever, stuck always in its possibility.

I wore the saffron dress my mother had made for me, fashioned in the style of the mighty purple eyed goddesses of Olympus. It flowed about me like a river and I liked the way the sleeves billowed as I spun around. It was silly…. I was silly… a silly woman not yet ready to let go of my girlhood but eager to start my version of forever after. I dreamed of using my gifts for the betterment of mankind. I wanted to bring beauty and purpose to the clayborn world and in return I wanted only love.

I realize now what a big thing that was to expect. How love was not so easily given- but it was a thing so quick to be taken away. I cared not for all that then as I didn't understand much of anything. I was now ready to live my life with the golden diadem of the maiden upon my head and the whimsical dreams of youth within my heart.

Artemis was there, for once indulging me by wearing the white gown of fortitude to usher me into my womanhood as my most trusted friend. She stood to dance with me around the crystal fire and sang the song of sisterhood in her not altogether unpleasant voice. I was loved and I was simple… and a hopeless dreamer.

Lord Hades doesn't dream at all.

My body was building in its pleasure… steadily climbing that hill as I turn us so I can ride him once more. I look down at his handsome face flushed in desire and feel a strange pull within my heart. I used to dream of having a husband. Of being kissed, and loved, and wanted. At the time, I cared not who it would be as long as they loved me and I loved them.

How strange life seemed to work out… how funny fate could be. Out of all the men in our world - it is the unseen one… the morning star… who was now between my legs. The King of the Dead Things and keeper of light claimed ownership of my mind and body… and perhaps my heart as well…. If I allowed it.

The woman is back...

She stands stoic where the poplar once stood. A golden halo around her chestnut hair and an odd look on her fair face as Lord Hades grabs my hair.

Then we are standing with his brothers at dusk on mount Olympus before it was built into the acropolis it is now. With crude buildings cut into the mountain side by primordial deities, it was one with nature as opposed to being built on top of it. The three of them looked tired, bloodied and suited in armor. Lord Poseidon had a long beard and braided hair. At the time his breast plate held the insignia of his divine trident given to him by the cyclops'. It rested in his right hand, bloodied and well used after a hard fought war.

Lord Hades had his helm under his right arm. He looked at the setting sun, serious and full of melancholy. Three deep scratches trailed down the right side of his face looking painful and infected.

"Should we not summon our sisters?" He asks as Mother Rhea worries herself by the god's' flame that sits unprotected and unhoused.

Father Zeus smiled. He was younger then, even more handsome, and his armor held the signs of his thunderbolt and swirly clouds to show even then he had a gift of controlling the weather.

"They prepare for the wedding," he replies. "Hera says she will not see me until then."

"You should not have forced her," Lord Hades says, giving his brother an awful little look. He wore red, a color I have never seen on him before but it brought out the flush in his cheeks and complimented his pale skin.

"She should not have said no," Father Zeus shrugged as the god's flame cracked and exploded behind him. "She said yes eventually. They all do."

He laughed at that, sharing a knowing smile with Lord Poseidon who sat on a rock and twirled the pointed end of the trident on the ground.

"Besides, their powers have already manifested. Demeter has chosen her earthbound home and Hestia her mountain. Hera will reside wherever I will it."

"We already know where our powers lie," Lord Poseidon says. His nose starts to bleed golden blood but he doesn't seem to mind. "You have the sky. I have the sea. And Hades the Dead Earth. Remember how he summoned the ones you killed that were beloved of Cronus? It was the only reason we won that final battle. It shocked our father so."

"Yes, but now we must find who shall rule over us all."

"A King of Kings?" Lord Poseidon questions, a golden brow raised. "What is the point of that?"

"It is an ordered thing to do," Father Zeus smiles again. "It is the way of things."

Mother Rhea pulls strange glowing stones from the fire and places them inside a lamb skinned sack.

"We must have a supreme ruler," he says as their great mother walks around- still veiled and dressed in green. "And we shall let the cosmos decide who has the heart for it."

"Our sisters should be here," Lord Hades says, though he and Lord Poseidon share a look like they knew this was all a farce. "They fought just as we did."

"Yes, but now we will be at peace," Father Zeus says, annoyed. "And they must focus on bearing children. They will have no time to rule when the all consuming state of motherhood chains them."

Lord Poseidon snorts in a laugh. "Can you imagine laying with Hestia? She is larger than I am."

"More vicious too," Lord Hades adds, his tone quite serious. "Hestia wishes not for a husband."

"She doesn't need a husband," Father Zeus answers sharply. "But she must do her duty and bear our children. It is, of course, what they are made for. Our Great Merciful Mother has given us each a woman we could claim as our own." She walks around them, her eyes downcast as Father Zeus watches her. "It is why I have placed aside Metis and Themis to wed our sister. We must fill our new world with gifts and wonder—"

"I shall have Demeter then," Lord Poseidon says, decided. "She is most to my liking."

"She is to everyone's liking," Father Zeus rolls his eyes. "But her temperament does not match her face."

"I can woo her. She already favors me," he says, though it is clear neither brother agrees with that. "And you shall have Hestia, dear brother. She will fit in well with your kingdom below as it is full of odd looking pale things. "

Lord Hades glances at him for a few moments before looking away and rubbing his forehead like he was trying to rid his mind of the spoken words.

"We shall draw lots," his mother whispers, standing by Lord Hades and offering him her lambskin bag. "I asked the ancient ones to mark a stone with the crown of my father- his heavenly holiness of the sky, for the host they want to give dominion."

Lord Hades looks at his mother and reaches into the bag. Underneath her veil her red eyes glow as he pulls the onyx stone of the underworld. She gives him a small smile before moving to Lord Poseidon. He pulls a green sea glass stone with jagged edges. Next is Father Zeus who smiles handsomely at his mother before pulling out a clear crystal with the golden crown of Father Ouranos encircling it.

No one is surprised and no one congratulates him, but his mother does clap a few times and says it is his birthright as the host who threw his father into the darkened pit. She brings out the crown of Cronus. A sharp and wicked looking thing that she places on his divine head.

"To the Almighty Zeus, King of all," their mother says.

He offers his hand and she kisses his ring.

"Will my brothers not kneel?" He asks, a brow raised as the other two look upon him with stoic, straight faces that give away nothing. "After all, was it not me who saved you from our father's torment?"

Neither answer. They walk together through the aether to the waiting crowd at the bottom of the mountain. The nymphs, and titans, and great beasts of the earth that fought with Father Zeus all fall to one knee to take in his majesty. My mother and her sisters are noticeably absent from this betrayal as he anoints himself savior and king of all the hosts who came from Chaos.

Lord Hades does not stay for his celebration. He leaves Olympus and the King of Kings to retreat into his underworld kingdom. He stands at the banks of the river Styx and stares into the gloomy waters, pensive for a moment as the wounds on his face begin to mend. There is no boat. Charon has not been given his task and there are no gates on the other side, just a wide open mouth to a dark cavern.

He removes his armor and puts down his helm against the rocks to step into the river. He swims through the poisoned water until he reaches the other side to find the dead earth a giant maze of wide caverns and tight passages that eventually lead into the many worlds of his kingdom. Paradise… Red sunned torment…the gray fields of indifference… they were not yet charged with their purpose or burdened by reputation. Untouched by the hands of men and without the everlasting light of the clayborn not yet made, it was all empty… but still full of glittering wonder. A virgin land of promise that now rested on his shoulders.

Lord Hades eventually finds himself in the blue grassed meadows, looking up at a pale moon sun with his red tunic wet and dripping. Black skinned horses with glowing eyes run past him, wild and untamed like the rest of his kingdom.

It was nothing like I knew it to be and I watched Lord Hades shake his hands a few times before using his light to pull stone, and marble, and gems from the bowels of Erebus to build the halls and rooms that I have grown to know so well. The green marble hall of three kings is built around the great chained chasm that I know to be Tartarus. All the gold and sapphires, emeralds and diamonds, rubies and other precious metals are embedded into the walls and pillars to show the wealth of his new home. He cuts black glass enchanted with ancient curses for the floor and it swirls and moves all on its own underneath his fine feet.

Eventually his gifts exert him. He sweats and shakes as his power pulls and shapes and builds the kingdom as he sees fit. He sits to rest for a moment and then a whispering wind comes creeping up from the blackened pit. Curling in the air in the guise of white smoke that smells of sulfur.

My son… Great Cronus whispers. He sounded weak. Newly defeated and hoarse. You did not deserve this fate…. Lord Hades rubs his face and shakes his head to be rid of it. Zeus does not deserve the crown….. Not when it was you…. Lord Hades looks over his shoulder at the darkness. Who threw me into the pit.

He hits his thigh with his fist.

His eyes swirl with nightmares and darkness that he tries to restrain with a clenched jaw and cracked knuckles. Angry and renewed with purpose, he rises from his resting place and builds the brilliantly carved Gates of Judgment. Doors as tall as the cavern allows and wide enough for all the beasts of the old world to fit through, he stares at his creation for a moment before pushing the gates open.

The room beyond it is a crude outline of what I recognize as the Judgment Hall. The white pillar with the glowing sphere is already there… waiting as if it knew what was to come. He steps into the dark room and walks to where the dais will one day be, already halfway formed from crude stone. It seems like the weight of his responsibility weighs on him as he looks into the light of the sphere that flickers in red, blue, and green flames.

He sees something in it I can not.

His resolve makes him stiffen his back. He steps onto the lifted stone of the soon to be dais and inhales a very deep and shaking breath.

There are noises behind him and he carefully turns.

The court of the dead earth have filled the room and stare at him with their nocturnal eyes gleaming in the darkness. I see Thanatos and Hypnos, Megaera and her sisters. The nymphs, and creatures, and river hosts that call this darkened place home. Hecate stands near, the only torch-bearing deity in the dark. Cerberus with his three heads is at her heels much smaller than he is now. Even the two white clay caked beings stand towards the front, imposingly tall with their fire flame eyes open, and staring, and judging.

Most were neutral during the war for the dawn, but some helped Lord Hades and his siblings defeat the army of Great Cronus. They knew of his strength and his principles and his moral fiber. They knew why he had come to their land.

"Soon these halls will be filled with the dead that my siblings and I will fashion in our image," he says, his voice kingly and strong despite his unease. "To keep order amongst Chaos. To give purpose to our tasks as the prophecy of our world demands." He looks at Thanatos with his darkly painted hands. "It has been prophesied that these beings shall inherit the earth long after we return to the darkness. Our everlasting light will live on through them and here, in this place, we are tasked with being the keepers of that light."

No one says anything. No one moves.

"They will be born with the gifts and passions of the hosts they are made after. But they will also have our follies and weaknesses. Our cruelties and injustices that will cause Chaos to reign once more… but they will have what we do not. They will have hope. Hope that their forevers will not be met with never ending darkness. They must be better than us. They will be better than us to be worthy of such a gift. We will correct them here with rewards, and punishments, and promises of rebirth. We will bear witness until it is our turn to be nothing and perhaps then, one day, they will find a way to save us as we have saved them."

No one says anything and he swallows hard.

"I was born on Mother Gaia- under the great and life-giving sun," he says, looking at each creature and host. "But I grew steadily in the darkness. This land calls to me as it did then. It always has. We shall live a world apart from the dramas of Olympus and build this kingdom into the greatest ever known. Will you build it with me?"

No one says anything. No one moves until a blackened cloud overtakes the room and blocks out the infernal court. Lord Hades tenses his body and turns to find Great Mother Nyx behind him. Her great wings spread and her black eyes glistening. Beside her is a host I have never seen before. One who rarely takes form- but I know him instantly as Erebus. A great, imposing male deity with gray skin and black robes of darkness, his eyes shone like the distant stars and his face held the wisdom of the ages. In his slick, wet hands he held a silver crown.

They said nothing… If they did, it was to Lord Hades alone. After a few moments he sank to his knees in reverence and bowed his head to the old gods who were part of the foundations of everything that was or would be.

Great Erebus, with his uncomfortably long fingers, placed the crown on top of Lord Hades' head.

He rose and turned to the court. The black cloud lifted. Mother Nyx and Father Erebus were gone, and the crowd stared at their crowned king for a moment before erupting into cheers. It wasn't the solemn bows of the King of Kings above…. But the great relief of burden rippling through the underworld as if to say at last. At last they had a king to rule. At last Lord Hades had come to the dead earth and taken up the mantle that was always meant to be his.

It was a joyous day in the darkness.

My pleasure explodes. It starts in my center and bursts through my body to the point where it's almost painful to move. There was nothing in the world besides me… in this one moment…with this one feeling ...So close to Lord Hades as one could ever wish to be to another. I lay against him and try to catch my breath once the tide subsides, but he is not yet finished. He turns us again to move on top of me, but I do not have the energy to even open my eyes to look upon him. He kisses me one last time before planting his seed deep inside of my body with a shaking sigh against my lips.

He tries to roll off, but I hold him there for a moment with my legs locked tightly around his waist, liking his closeness. He rests on his forearms and pushes wet hair away from my face to look upon me better. His eyes look into mine for a moment before he glances up at the sky.

"What is it?" I ask, but he need not answer because as soon as the question leaves my lips a blistering gale breaks through the clouds. It carries on the breast of a winter wind from beyond Elysium.

He lifts himself and offers me his hand. The wind continues, making me shiver as he pulls me to my feet and it's so violent that even the souls of paradise have woken from their memories to feel it.

"Hecate has entered the dead earth," he says flatly as he picks up his cloak and puts it around my shoulders. "Erebus calls out a warning." He's thoughtful for a moment and pauses with his head tilted towards the west. "I do not think he has ever encountered a living child."

"Adonis," I whisper as he clasps his cloak at my neck.

I think of the baby with a strange warmness in my heart despite the bitter cold.

"Yes," he says, looking at my profile as I listen to the wind, trying to hear it as Lord Hades does…. But I can not and my thoughts return to the babe that I had helped birth from a tree. The sap like blood from his delivery still stains the wool dress by my feet. "I care not for mortal children," he says and I glance at him, confused by the way he is looking at me. "But I care for you."

I care for you.

"I permit the child in my realm as I know it will please you," He picks up his himation. The great draping cloth that he wraps around himself to cover his nakedness. "But he can not stay indefinitely. The dead earth will reject him eventually and you mustn't be upset when it does."

I nod my head as I do not know what to say to that. All I know is I wish to hold the child in my arms once more. I find myself remembering the purple flames of Hestia that engulfed his tiny body and the way his mother wailed into the night….

"Persephone," he takes my hand to get my attention and I look at him again. "He is here only because of the laws you have broken." I hope he can not tell, but my heart drops at his admission. Of course, Thanatos or Ascalaphus would have told him what I did… or maybe he saw it in the god's window. The thought of that makes my stomach ache. Who else could have witnessed it? "It goes against the very nature of our world and the old ones do not take kindly to that kind of disrespect."

I say nothing. I can not find the words so I stare at his throat instead.

"Nothing will befall him here, but I can not say the same for the living earth. He is an abomination to the order of things and heartbreak will seek him out."

"How is what I did different from your blood fruit?" I ask, trying not to sound so defensive. "You use your blood to fertilize the trees that grow in the midnight grove and I know they are used for more things than to trap unsuspecting females."

Perhaps I have gone too far, but he does not match my fire. Instead he turns more towards me and takes my other hand in his so I have no choice but to face him.

"When our blood is cultivated through such means- it does not promise the salvation of the Blessed Isles or the unnaturally long life not granted to clayborns," he explains."I give it only to the noble dead so that they may remember themselves and serve our land as a penance before being reborn into a world where they will revere our ways even when others forget. When they die, my blood fruit will call them home whether they are buried, or burned, or thrown in the sea and their judgments will be forgiving as they are my chosen people."

I look at his eyes, trying to understand his meaning.

"It is a kindness I give them," he says. "It is not Ichor straight from my veins to a living soul. It is not as potent and it is not a betrayal of the ancient. Do you understand?"

I nod even though I am not completely sure I do.

"Then it is settled." He kisses my forehead. "I will shield you from this error in judgment and I will protect the boy while he is in our kingdom. Zeus can not walk in these halls as he does on the living earth so you need never fear him when you are with me."

"Thank you, Lord Hades," I say because it was the only thing left to say. It was by his authority that Aphrodite returned the boy to me… It was by his grace that he protects us now. "You have been very generous."

"I am generous only because I love you," he says and my eyes flick to his in surprise.

He says nothing else.

I am generous only because I love you.

Love.

So easily the word rolled off his tongue, almost as if it was an annoyance to him. Like he had no choice in the matter because the feeling had gripped him against his better judgment. He was a stern host. Serious, unyielding… and love was such a whimsical thing that I hardly believed he had the capacity for it…. But now his heart seemed bigger than mine. As his grew to accommodate me- I had turned into the unyielding one- withholding my affection and closing off my heart because of pride and loyalty to my mother who instilled in me a great distrust of all men.

He did not seem to care if I said it back and did not wait for a reply.

He kept his hand in mine as he walked us from Elysium and into the Hall of Three Kings. I tightened his cloak and held it together with my left hand as I tried to keep up with his brisk pace. After a few moments, he senses my struggle and he slows down. I give him a grateful smile as he walks beside me, a gentle hand on my back to direct me as he did his horses of night. Ashy-faced attendants and creatures of the underworld all gather before the Gates of Judgment, their heads tilted and curious as they talk amongst themselves. There were so many of them…but they fall silent and move once Lord Hades draws near, parting down the middle as the great doors behind them open to reveal the Judgement Hall.

Hecate stands before the dais.

She turns with our approach and Lord Hades pauses at the gates, urging me forward with a slight push to my back. She is draped with a golden cape and wears a crown of flames that casts her face in wicked shadows. The clay caked beings behind her sing a strange song, but it is so faint that I can not make out the words they are whispering. There are noises from above and I glance up to see the gallery full of hosts and dark eyed nymphs all watching and waiting to see what I will do.

I tighten the cloak again, aware of my nakedness under it.

"My Queen," Hecate says and I give her my attention. "As your mother requested, I am to deliver this child unto you."

Lord Hades' cloak is large and it trails behind me, brushing against the ground as I move forward. She bows her head and offers up the bundle in her arms with her shadowed dogs nipping at her heels.

The baby is restless… unhappy…. He is making strange little noises that I don't like.

I take him in my arms and look over his face, his fine features and small, perfect hands. I lean down to smell him as I walk up the dais and sit upon my throne to properly view him. He is content for a moment and I look up to find Lord Hades watching me from across the great hall. His arms are crossed and he's leaning against one of the large pillars that holds up the gallery above.

I am generous because I love you, he had said.

Perhaps I loved him too…and perhaps that wasn't such a terrible thing. One thing I did know for sure was that I would love Adonis. I would make him a living prince in our kingdom and teach him the wonders of our realm. He will grow up loved and well cared for in the dead earth and hopefully, one day, he will become a man worth remembering… worth knowing… one that even my mother would come to adore and respect.

He starts making those little noises again. Those uncomfortable, painful noises…and then he cries. It is the loud pitched wail of hunger and discomfort that echoes off the ceiling and curls around the hosts in the gallery above. After a few moments, a winter wind comes crashing into the room. It blows open the great doors and extinguishes the torches, sending the judgment hall into a pitch black night with only the sphere of memories glowing an odd pale blue and Hecate's crown of flames left for light.

Adonis cares not for such warnings and continues to cry into the darkness. His voice amplified along the gale of Erebus as it coils around the room, shaking the pillars and stones as if the presence of a living child pained him in some way.

I look up at the gallery again, nocturnal eyes shining back at me as the cry of a living child falls over the kingdom of Hades for the very first time. My Lord Husband walks towards me in the dark and I see him pass Hecate's crown of flames and the pale blue sphere to take his place by my side. He says nothing… he doesn't even acknowledge the living child in my arms as he takes my hand and places it against his lips in thoughtful reflection.

The wicked winds of Erebus calm and his presence leaves the judgment hall. I look into the darkness and in my mind's eye I see the tan skinned woman standing by the river wearing a crown of poplar leaves upon her head. When she sings she sings the song of a deep swirling river on the outskirts of creation and I find myself smiling into the void as Adonis' cries ring over my kingdom.

---

Clayborn infants are such strange things.

They were so very fragile and trusting of all those around them. Completely dependent on others to survive, their helplessness seemed like a flaw in design… but perhaps they were made that way so that the ones who raised them would develop a deeper love and sense of responsibility. After all, it was love- true love- that kept Chaos at bay. With the creation of Eros came the dawn of reason and there was no truer love than the one between a child and its caregiver.

The nymphs weave clothes for Adonis made of comfortable cotton and silk that they hand dye green, purple, and black. They take turns holding him and bicker over who will feed him with the milk filled fruit that Hypnos brings down from above. Cissa, gifted with a needle, embroiders his blankets with my yellow springtime flowers and pomegranate seeds. Even Megaera brings him a tinkling bell to shake while he lays in his cradle made of black sable wood.

"Children like the noise," she tells me, her voice never once softening despite her actions. "He shall like it."

The nymphs help to tend to his needs and they comment on his beauty.

"What a rare thing," one of the lighter haired ones says. She is Orphne, the mother of Ascalaphus and loved by the river Acheron. She is the only one of us who has given birth and I envy her for it. "For a mortal to be so pretty."

Lord Hades does not bother with him. He will give him little glances and tight smiles when he is around, but there is no paternal pull within him to be affectionate. He looks upon the clayborn child as one would look upon a dog… or a household pet. Something there to be petted and taken care of- but nothing more than that. He takes it upon himself to constantly remind me that one day Erebus will reject him and dispel him from our kingdom as living souls had no business being in the realm of the shades.

"The dead earth already shifts uncomfortably," he warns. "His youth protects him for now but that will not always be the case. The living earth is for the living."

I let him caution me and try not to be troubled. I have fallen in love with Adonis… the deep love of motherhood that makes me understand my own mother more. I wanted to wrap Adonis up in satin and protect him from all the pain and malice in the world. I wanted him to always be with me so I could shield him from the dangers that await. I wished to wake everyday to his smile and pleasing giggle.

I wanted to never let him go.

I am not naive… I know one day he will grow and move on to be his own person, but a part of me wanted time to stop and for him to always be small and full of wonder. It was hard for me to imagine a future where I could not hold him… where I could not press a kiss to his cheek and rub my lips over the softness of his skin.

I did not want to worry about things not yet passed and I tried to live in the moment of his magical youth the best I could.

I spent hours with him on a blanket staring up at the pale moonlight in the blue grass meadows. I walked him through Lord Hades' sacred grove and visited Ascalaphus who takes his human shape in the shadows of our realm. He is brown skinned like his feathers and his eyes still glow orange against the gloomy darkness. He has a beautiful smile just like his mother and makes me toys to give to Adonis made out of the wood of the pomegranate trees he protects.

Time passes slowly but then all at once, it seems. A wrinkled newborn grew into a healthy, chubby baby with sparkling eyes and a dimpled smile. Who then grew into a toddling boy not yet a child but no longer a baby. With a head of dark hair and amber eyes like the hoarded gold of a dragon, he was destined to rival the beauty of Apollo himself.

When Adonis reaches his second year, Lord Hades gives me a land of my own. Located on the other side of the gloomy black sea on the outskirts of Hypnos' realm of poppy laced dreams, he built for me a lush green valley with living flowers and warm, golden sunshine. A cool stream runs through it and at its center is a brilliant structure made of white birch trees and domed with sparkling cut glass of different colors.

"It is made up of Mother Gaia and Father Erebus," he explained. There were bugs- I could hear them crawling along the ground and buzzing along the flowers. "So you can use your gifts and create the things you wish to create. It is the closest to the living earth that you could ever hope for here."

I don't know how he managed it. I knew him to be powerful and he built most of the underworld with his gifts alone- but my valley smelled of Helios and of the earth above. There were butterflies, and bees, and burrowing worms in the soil. It had similar properties of Mother Gaia and the rules of her land— but it was mixed with Great Erebus and the flowers that I grew in my garden were dark and sang the sighing song of night. The butterflies were purple winged creatures of shadow and the ants sang the song of the dead.

Red winged Morpheus, with his army of dreamers, flew overhead when they went to their tasks and I watched them leave each night as they cast a shadow over my valley. Morpheus was a soldier of my favored Hypnos. A creature of the misty plains of slumber who took a different shape everytime he left the dead earth to bring messages to the mortals above. Nightmares and black dreams followed him in contrast to Hypnos peaceful sleep.

The nymphs preferred the valley to their underwater caverns- so I had my husband build for them a home in a hillside to call their own and a small house by the water for me to raise Adonis in the sun.

He grows strong and healthy in the valley.

I loved him with all my whole being… and yet I worried for his future. When the dead earth would reject him and he would be forced to the world above where misery awaited him. My only hope was that Aphrodite would keep her word. No doubt she would seek him out when he came of age, but if she grew to love him too, then perhaps she could protect him from whatever misfortune lay ahead.

I often visit the poplar tree in Elysium and listen to her song of deep and flowing rivers. I see the tanned skinned woman often in my dreams and resolve to hang a swing for Adonis on her branches.

"Do you think that wise?" Thanatos appeared behind me, making me jump. "Trees such as these are known to be brittle and break easily. Just like the boy you intend to make use of it," he said, motioning to Adonis who played at the water's edge with Cissa. "It would be quite a thing to die in the dead earth."

"Who is this tree?" I asked, ignoring his morbid words and refusing to think about it. I climbed up the branches in a way I hadn't done in such a long time, aware of him starting up at me. "I can not recognize what it is."

It didn't feel like a transformation…. It didn't feel unhappy or trapped…. It felt content… It felt… happy?

"Lord Hades had said it was a memory," I added, tying one end of a thick rope to a lower hanging branch and scooting back to do another… "But he was lying."

Thanatos looked up at me, a curious tilt to his head.

"The nymphs do not remember," I said, nodding to Cissa. "They say it has always been here."

"Do you know about the wood nymphs of Oceanus?" he asked, stepping aside when I threw down the wooden seat. "The ones who were connected to the great woods that grew on the banks of the very first river?"

I looked down at him then, but did not answer. My bare feet were dangling down and my dress was hitched up around my thighs.

"Do you remember what happened when that forest was felled by the first men?"

I frowned then… Of course I do remember that story. Nymphs, Naides, Lampades… all names for the same class of nature host who held a dim golden light within them. Connected to the land from which they were born, they were spirits made flesh of earth, air, water, and the gloomy darkness. Oceanus had a handful of daughters who were made from his swirling currents and a deep rooted daughter of Mother Gaia. Like my Adonis they were born from trees that ran along the banks of their father's magical waters.

After the defeat of Great Cronus- those of his chosen people were kicked out of the garden and left to wander the world. They came upon the trees and the nourishing life giving river… and decided that that is where they would build their new paradise. They cut down every tree… and every nymph that was born from the bark died instantly.

It was a great shock… the first time Death had come to those of the golden glow… but they had nowhere to go as their souls were not separate from their bodies as the clayborn's were… and with their death came their forever end. Never to be seen, or made, or loved again. And with this tragedy- Father Zeus flooded the world.

"Lord Hades has lived a thousand lifetimes before you were born," Thanatos admitted. "He has loved and lost."

I climbed down and stood before Thanatos.

"Who is she?" I asked, feeling something tighten in my chest.

"Her name was Leuce," he said, looking at the poplar tree. "She was in this realm when she died and Lord Hades buried her here as it was her favorite spot."

"Her favorite spot," I whispered back, looking at the tree.

"Her body decayed in the dead earth and here grew a tree similar to the one felled on Mother Gaia. The river remembers her- so she is not completely gone. A memory, as Lord Hades had said. Not a lie at all."

"He never told me about her."

"Why would he?" he asked, raising a dark eyebrow. "He was a different person then."

I did not understand my feelings. It wasn't that Lord Hades had loved another before me… It wasn't even that he kept the memory of her by this river… Perhaps it was that her essence called to me like a sister and the fact that she had been happy.

"Why are you here?" I had asked, finally realizing how strange it was for Thanatos to seek me out.

"The Fates pull their strings," he whispered, looking over his shoulder at Adonis who was playing with the small pebbles that rest in the shallows. "They run their shears along a string they thought was already cut. I am pulled here."

I looked at Adonis as well, the first time feeling panicked as he held a rock up to the sun to look at it more closely.

"You will not," I said, looking back at Death with his darkly painted hands. "You will not."

"No," he replied, smiling. "But I thought you would appreciate the warning. The free will of the clayborn do seem to muddle their vision and things can change without igniting their fury. It is a fine line, though. One must be careful."

"You can change your fate?" I asked then, unsure.

"You can change your path," he answered and that was all.

I was not watching Adonis when the curious nature of his age compelled him to put the rock in his mouth. I was looking at Thanatos when he tripped on a slick stone in the water and the rock got lodged deep in his throat.

Cissa screamed.

I pushed past Thanatos and ran to Adonis who was turning red and then blue when the life giving air could not pass. He could not even cry or cough so thoroughly the rock blocked his throat. I patted his back but nothing happened and I had the awful thought that I was going to be forced to watch him die in pain… but Thanatos came near and took him from my arms. He turned him facing up and reached one of his damning painted fingers inside of the child's mouth. Moments later the stone popped out and landed on the ground.

I looked at Thanatos as Adonis cried and ran to me. I hugged him close, stroking his fine hair, and looked upon Death who had saved the life of one so precious to me. His stormy eyes flashed and he smirked at me before taking flight.

That was the first- but not the last time The Fates had tried to claim him for their own.

He was an impossibly beautiful boy but he was fragile and there was a mark upon his light. He was affectionate and loving- full of empathy and kindness… but he was also daring and rash- loving adventure and the thrill of the unknown. It made loving him easy- but protecting him hard.

He fell once into the gloomy black sea and nearly drowned- but it was a creature within the depths that brought him back to me. When Lord Hades finally opened the arches of travel again, he ventured into the red sunned realm where he was nearly decapitated by a shade mad with torture. He burned his hand in the god's flame and almost broke his neck falling from his bed.

So many almost deaths had left me overprotective and riddled with anxiety just as my own mother had been.

It was in that haze of not yet a child but no longer an infant that Aphrodite called in her favor. There had been whispers of the girl Eros took to wife whom Aphrodite had trapped. The host of true love was nowhere to be found as clayborn Psyche was abused and sent on impossible tasks as a punishment for being born and loved by no fault of her own.

My mother walked in the mortal realm to give her comfort and I watched from my god's window as she tried to complete her first trial under a burning summer sun. Her skin baked red and blistered- her lips cracked and split. It was clear to me that she would fail.

I thought of Eros. His gift being the bright shining beacon that first repelled Chaos and I wondered of his absence. Something was off and did not feel right. I worried for all those who lived upon Mother Gaia should he return and see what had been done to his wife and child. Real love was not so shallow. It hurt. It burned… but it did not abandon. Not completely and I knew one day he would come back. If things continued as they had been- Chaos truly would reign.

I dug through the grass of my green valley and found the infernal ants brought to the darkness from the womb of Mother Gaia. I had planted Minthe by the stream and she multiplied and invaded an entire hillside with her nice smelling, invasive weed. Though I couldn't fault her, as what I had done to her was unforgivable, I took to tearing her out by the roots to stop her from taking over my entire garden.

The bugs did not like her smell, the ants were especially repelled by it so they burrowed deep in the outermost section of the sunshine kissed hillside. I called The Furies to me and it was Megaera who knew at once what I intended. I seemed to be one of the only hosts following the story of the girl loved by Love. My mother… and the other purple eyed goddess' from above… also kept their attention on her while others had their eyes on the mighty sons of Father Zeus who had been making their names on the living earth as the heroes of men- causing Mother Hera to fall into a never ending state of chaotic rage.

Psyche was no hero to them despite her trials, just because of the sex between her legs. Though, I knew better. She was just as strong as they were… stronger even… more determined in her hopelessness. Seeing her made me think of Adonis' mother and the awful fate she had been given by the host Aphrodite. So I resolved to help her. Trying to stay in the graces of the host of beauty and love- I needed to help in a sly way… in a hidden way… in the unseen way like my Lord Husband.

Megaera put the ants into a clay jar of ashes and took them to the living earth. Under my command, the ants entreated their kind from the surrounding woods to come forth to help. Millions of them answered the call and together they sorted the tall pile of seeds with the working determination only ants can have. What was once impossible- became possible and they finished right before the sun was due to set in the sky.

To keep my secret, Megaera gathered up the ants of the dead earth and placed them back in the jar. I watched from the god's window as she walked amongst the shadows to return to me- but she was stopped by three gray skinned monsters with leather wings and beady black eyes that had served Aphrodite in her rage.

"Hello sister," they said before blending together and forming one beautiful faced creature more bird than woman. "What brings you to the living earth?"

"Eris," Megaera greeted but did not answer her question. "You are missed below."

The creature smiled.

"I am not," she said, almost laughing. "Lord Hades does not appreciate my task."

"Lord Hades does not appreciate the company you keep," Megaera corrected.

"I do as I am told," she said, bowing her head. She looked down at Megaera's hands, at the clay jar with the dead creatures inside. "Don't we all have a greater cause to answer to?"

They stared at one another for a long while. Two wicked looking women, unforgiving and hard.

"You will regret helping this mortal, sister," Eris said, her knowing eyes gleaming. "Beauty does not like infernal hosts medaling in her affairs and blood soaked War has tasked me with helping her with this retribution."

"Then you should not tell her," she said simply. Her skin was so blue in the orange glow dusk and the dark freckles on her nose were more pronounced "My Queen takes a keen interest in this case. Remember to what land you are loyal."

Eris said nothing. She watched Megaera go with a set and furious frown… but she never did tell Aphrodite what was done… what I had allowed for them to do in my name. I watched the clayborn girl's torture at the hand of lust and love and beauty…. I watched her child grow and her health fade with each trial and abuse. Mother Hera took pity on her as well, waking from her blackened rage to give advice to one we all felt pity for...One we all saw ourselves reflected back in.

When Aphrodite sent the clayborn girl to my kingdom, I called upon Hypnos and questioned him about his gift given to me on my wedding night. I asked him to meet me under the colored dome in my green valley as Lord Hades would not permit someone like him into my private chambers. A part of me did not want to give it to her…. If I was to honor Adonis' mother then I knew I shouldn't…It felt wrong... And cruel and everything I never wished to be…but if I was to protect Adonis when he grows older… then I knew that I should keep my word. But the choice was hers. She need not succumb to its curse if only she kept the lid closed.

"Is there any cure?" I had asked about his beautiful death, the blinding light that brought on a death like sleep to mortals.

He seemed confused and slowly shook his head.

"Not anymore, my Queen," he answered.

"But there was once?"

"Once," he agreed as a purple winged butterfly landed on his shoulder, his youthful face so lovely in the sunshine. "The well of power. In Tartarus. But as I have said before, it has been empty for a millennia."

I thought then, of a memory not my own. A hand scraping the wells with a jagged rock to release the droplets out of the porous stone basin that had been covered with ancient symbols of the old world.

"Does it glow red?" I asked.

I showed him the bag someone who was me but not me exactly had hidden inside a crevice of an old tree that grew strong and ugly in the swamps of sorrow. One vial was missing, given to a shade on the banks of the river Styx. Another was for divinity…. But one vial held two droplets of glowing red liquid that Hypnos held up to the sun.

"How did you…" he started but did not finish as he knew the trauma of our descent into the darkness. He quickly put them back in the bag. "It is forbidden to have these things," he whispered. "If a mortal found either-"

"But it would work? This amount?"

He nodded again.

"Only one drop would be needed… but it would make the mortal who drinks it more powerful than what is allowed by law. Even more powerful than the children made of the golden glow who are always stronger and more clever than others."

"What happens if a host drinks it?" I asked, wondering why the basin was empty.

"Well," he seemed uncomfortable. "It would give a host unparalleled power… and that power would drive them mad."

"How so?" I whispered, glancing at the bag and hearing its strange call.

"It would make a once just king powerful enough to break through the universe to form the most blessed Isle ever known for the ones he loved best… and then compel him to eat his own children."

He let that warning linger between us.

"Only a handful of the Titans drank from its poison. The rest was used by the Cyclops' when they toiled in Tartarus. They made the mighty weapons for the three sons of Cronus. The material they used was better suited to hold such power."

"We must find Eros," I whispered.

"Eros?" he had said. When I looked at him, I realized he knew something I knew not." "Eros slumbers."

I looked at him then. I did not understand his power or how his gifts worked.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Yes," he said, so simply. "I know where all those who slumber lay their heads."

Something then ignited in me and I stood to my feet. "Can you wake him?"

"Perhaps not," he admitted. "I do not know what caused his sleep as it was not by my hand… but I can send him a dream." The look on my face must have confirmed what I wanted him to do. "I will send Morpheus. He can be and say anything you want."

"Convince him to ask for divinity," I said, having thought it over. "Have Morpheus take the skin of someone or something Eros respects most. Tell him where the vial of power is if he needs to wake his wife. Tell him to ask Father Zeus to make Psyche immortal to hide what we have done. I will make sure Lord Hades approves of her ascension."

"Are you sure?" he asked, taking the vial out and looking at its glowing liquid once more. "She is not of divine blood. It will be hard for the Great Father's to agree."

"She has suffered enough," I replied. "And they will want to please Eros as his is the only gift worth having."

Hypnos left with the vial of power to hide on the living earth and I watched the fake sky as red winged Morpheus flew overhead to the world of men to bring a dream to the missing host of love. He took the skin of an old woman with long braided hair and simple white clothes. It was a face I knew not and it confused me why that skin would impress upon the mighty Eros.

When the emaciated girl came into my hall, I felt my heart break for her. For what crime did she commit but be a young woman pulled in different directions just as I was? My rage for Aphrodite had to be tamed before I let Chaos take me and I had to swallow my anger that slipped down my throat like cut glass.

"Do not open this box," I had said. "Whatever you do."

She did anyway. As is the way of mortals.

Eros was grateful enough and her divinity was granted not long afterwards- but I couldn't shake off the melancholy that seemed to hang over me.

Though I loved him- I was very aware I was not Adonis' mother. His real mother was on the living earth in torment as a transformed tree because of the host I helped further punish a girl who was just as helpless as I used to be. I can imagine that Myrrha cries her sap like tears even now but I do not have the heart to listen. So I take care of her son the best I can and ignore the rest of the world- living and dead- until a loud horn sounds through the kingdom and I look to Cissa.

She sits cross legged on one of the beaded pillows, sewing another outfit for the clayborn child who seems to grow so incredibly fast.

"What is that?" I ask, sitting up and calling Adonis back from the water.

"A rare thing, indeed." Cissa smiles her gap toothed smile at the other two nymphs who are approaching from the meadow, baskets full of my yellow flowers they will use to decorate their rooms. "We must go to the judgment hall, my Queen," she says as she takes the hand of Adonis when he comes close and passes him off to the nymph with impossibly straight hair. "Our great king will want you there."

"Why?" I ask. Lord Hades does not bother me and accepts my presence only when I now want to give it. "I have never heard such a noise," I say, looking up at the swirling clouds as the trumpet sounds louder than before. It seems to be coming from inside and all around. Not one place- but all places all at once.

It seemed celestial- almost other worldly. A noise my heart knew though my mind did not.

The straight haired nymph takes Adonis to play in the fields while I follow Cissa to the Hall of Judgement. I look up at the carved stone gate and think of Lord Hades. How powerful his gifts and how beautiful his artistry. When the gate opens, I am surprised to find him not yet on the dais. The gallery above is full of every creature that rests below. Nymphs, hosts, creatures, and wicked shadows… They are packed alongside each other- shoulder to shoulder with no space left between.

I go to ask more of Cissa, but she is already gone.

I walk towards the dais. The clay caked beings twitch when I pass, but their eyes remain closed and their heads facing steadily forward. I sit down, unsure on what to do next as the horn sounds again- louder this time. So loud it makes me wince. I look up, making eye contact with fearsome Megaera. She is perched on the railing like a bird and she hops down, her wings spread to catch the air until she stands before me.

"A mortal has gained everlasting paradise," she explains, seeing the confusion on my face. "A very rare thing," she says, her voice a deep hiss. "We all come to see them pass into the true golden light. A peace we shall never know."

"Where is Lord Hades?" I ask but she does not know and can't answer.

She returns to the gallery and I grip the arm rests when the horn sounds again. So loud now that it shakes the walls and makes the shining glass floor spin and twirl. The clay caked beings start singing an odd song…. A familiar melody… an ancient tune that stirs something inside my chest. They spread their great wings and tilt their faces up to the ceiling as their voices grow louder and louder still. The sphere that hovers above the podium below seems to flicker to life as the room becomes dark. The torches extinguish and the lights above dim as the orb rises and grows in the air. I stand up and approach it with cautious trepidation, my head tilted in curiosity because I can see images in the flames. Outlines of things that seem like people made of shadows and smoke.

Someone grabs the light and I blink a few times to find Lord Hades holding the large sphere like a ball. He walks to the podium carved with ancient words of the old gods and he uses his strength to crack it like an egg over the pointed tip. The light inside of it escapes and dances over the hall, settling in large patches against the darkened walls and illuminating them with images of the life of a pale haired girl.

Lord Hades steps towards me and takes my hand. He says nothing as we sit on our thrones, but I can sense an unease in him. He sits back with the fingers of his right hand pressed to his temple, seemingly annoyed as he waves his hand so an image from the walls grows and wraps around the room until we are transported to a rocky shoreline on a barren beach.

A woman cloaked in gray staggers among the rocks, holding to her a crying infant wrapped in rags. The sky is overcast and the wind is violent as she makes her way to the opening of a cave. The misty spray of the sea flies through the air with each violent thrashing of the tide and it dampens her clothes, making her shiver and shake.

Inside the cave is an altar. A crude thing. An ancient thing that still held the crumbing statue of a faceless woman with large breasts and wide hips. Where the first people of Cronus came to honor Great Gaia in her first form as mother to all.

"Mother," the woman whispers. She has a quiet voice. A small voice... and there is violence upon her body. Healed scars and fresh wounds that tell a story of abuse. "She is not a boy."

She kneels at the altar and throws back her hood.

She is missing an eye. It has been covered by a piece of stained cloth that tells of a recent beating. Her lip is split and swollen which causes pain when she speaks. Between her legs is blood and large clots fall to the ground behind her. This is the broken body of a woman that recently gave birth but was given no time to rest or heal.

"Not a boy," she repeats as she sets the newborn on the ground in front of the altar. The baby is still covered in the blood and fluids of birth. She has not been washed or cared for either. "He can not suffer another girl."

The infant is crying. A cry I recognize as hunger and cold…. confusion and fear. She takes out a small clay jar from her sack and opens the lid. Inside is freshly pulled soil from the living earth, still moist and full of life. She sprinkles it over the baby, and rubs it in with a shaking hand before using the rest to make a circle of dirt around her child.

"Take her before he does," she cries as she places her forehead on the cave floor in reverence. "Great Mother. Mother to all. Have mercy on my girl. Fold her into your bosom and make her safe. Make her safe."

She takes a talisman from inside her dress and places it on the baby. It is a stone carved with an ancient symbol that I know not. The woman kisses her child one last time before walking from the cave and over the rocks to the water's edge. She doesn't even look back before walking into the sea, deeper and farther until the current takes her and she is no more.

I glance at Lord Hades, but he does not look at me.

In the cave, the baby cries for her mother. It screams for comfort and warmth. The altar of Mother Gaia is unmoved, but there is a stirring in the deep darkness of the cave and after a few moments of silence, Sister Athena appears. She walks towards the baby in her full glittering armor and looks down at that infant with her fine head tilted.

I sit a bit straighter, surprised to see her and even more surprised when she lifts the child up.

She takes the talisman from the girl's chest and her wise eyes can read it when I could not.

"A guardian spell," she says, her voice as strong as ever. "It is a shame this old world magic no longer works on our living earth." She says to the babe who has stopped crying at the warmth of my sister's breastplate. "It seems your mother could have used the protection…. But at least she has given you a name."

She looks down at the child. Her hair is pulled away from her face, combed up in a metal ring and she looks lovely against the frosty seaside gloom. Always so perfect, my sister.

"You shall be called Medusa."

I inhale sharply for I know that name and I feel Lord Hades' eyes upon me.

The memory fades and I look at my Lord Husband again.

"We will witness this life," he explains, turning away like he knew I would ask. "As is the way with all those who are granted passage to the Blessed Isle."

Athena brings the baby to her sacred temple and leaves her to be found by the white dressed priestesses that live there. They take her in and see her as a gift from their patron host and raise her as a maiden dedicated to the flame and honor of Athena.

A childhood full of games and friendships gives way to a beautiful woman with white gold hair and icy blue eyes. Now considered a unique beauty among the priestesses- she is made to cover herself with a veil when amongst the public as not to tempt the men of Athens with her charms.

An unfair assessment, but she does not seem to mind.

She flourishes in the pursuits of her religious life. She is a talented weaver with a lovely voice who sings the hymns to Athena with each sunrise. She loves her adopted family and wonders not of men or the love they could bring. She cares only for Athena and is a devoted follower to her light.

My sister returned when the girl was in her twentieth year and seemed surprised by the passage of time and the beauty in which Medusa grew. She veils herself as a white dressed maiden and enters her temple to approach the one she had saved so many years ago… and I see… I see the look change in her eyes… and suddenly I understood why Athena had been so upset when I once brought it up to her.

I turn to Lord Hades.

"We should not watch it," I say, putting my hand on his.

"We must bear witness," he says, irritated, taking his hand back.

"Husband," I say to get his attention and his purple eyes finally look into mine. "We should not." I glance up at the gallery and all the creatures watching. "I fear what will happen next will shame my sister."

"Perhaps she should be ashamed," he says flatly. "We care not for the hosts above. We honor the dead," he tells me, his eyes slightly narrowed. "We do not honor Olympus."

I exhale a long breath and turn back to the memory. Athena in her mortal skin comes and goes as she pleases and her priestesses are none the wiser. With each visit on the living earth- she falls more and more in love with the mortal Medusa. She lets her hands run through the maiden's waist length hair that is as smooth as silk and she dances her fingers along the features of her beautiful face. The clayborn girl is charming, and kind, and sweet in a way Athena never could be.

Their first kiss is under an orange harvest moon, the girl's white gold hair shining and reflecting the colors around her.

They share laughter and delicate touches but before they share each other completely- I stand up and command the gallery to disperse. Lord Hades says nothing as they leave with disappointed whispers and hisses.

"Athena is not the first host to lay with a mortal," he says when I sit back down and look at the hem of my dress so I do not see what is happening in front of me. "It is hardly something our court hasn't seen before."

"We should not watch this."

"I can not undo a seal once broken," he says. "It will play until the end."

"Do you not know what this is?" I ask, turning to him.

He says nothing.

"This clayborn girl lived a fairly normal life," I say. "There is nothing in her history to show how she would come to be given paradise. I did not know that Athena loved her before…."

"Before what?" He asks.

I do not answer as the memory is now one of sadness. Medusa has fallen ill with a disease that marked her skin with festering sores. Her once beautiful face now looked like rotted meat and she was in pain. She screamed out day and night for the host she did not know was her lover. Half of the maidens in Athena's temple fell ill and died within a week from the same sickness- but Medusa lingered in her pain as Athena breathed her golden light into her lungs to prolong her life.

But it would not last. Wise Athena knew that most of all and in an herb filled room to cover the stench of decay, Athena used a divine blade to open her skin. She put her Ichor in a horned cup and pressed it to the pale haired mortal's lips. Medusa swallowed painfully at first before sitting up and greedily taking in the rest. Suddenly all was right within and without her body. Her sores disappeared and the light reached her ice blue eyes once more.

She was reborn, in a sense, and my sister, knowing she broke our sacred laws, held her secret close. She stayed in her mortal form longer than ever before and tried to hide the scent of her divine blood with spices and plants thrown into the hearth of her temple. Their love was deep and now dangerous as Athena knew she had to keep her close to avoid the punishment of the ancient.

It was the worst and most wonderful thing for my sister. I could see it so plainly on her beautiful face. Her mind, body, and heart were once in agreement and Medusa reciprocated the feeling… though she was sure to say that she loved no other greater than her Mighty Athena… which made my sister laugh, even more pleased.

With her newly healed body, Medusa could hear the song of Mother Gaia. The power of Athena's blood was great and it seemed to transform the simple clayborn girl into an intuitive woman not half as silly as she used to be. She listened to the call of the wilderness and the land around and ended up leaving the temple when Mother Gaia's song brought her to the same beach and the same cave where her mother had left her to die amongst the waves.

She sat in front of the crude altar and, for the first time in her life, she prayed to a host different from the one she had revered her entire life. But Mother Gaia does not answer prayers anymore… assuming she ever did at all. Instead, another host heard the silent thoughts of a divinely blessed girl.

Lord Poseidon rose from his ocean palace and watched her leave the cave to walk barefoot along the sandy shoreline, collecting small shells in a makeshift basket she fashioned from her veil. He coveted her beauty and set about making her his own as he walked onto the living earth and followed her back to the temple of Athena.

It seemed funny to him at the time, that she would live in the city he fought for and lost against my sister. He laughed when he realized she was a maiden at the temple of Athena and his eyes darkened with lust as he watched her undress in her rooms underground.

He disguised himself as a shipwrecked sailor wanting the comfort of the goddess and he flooded the outer chambers, making the other priestesses evacuate the temple. Leaving only Medusa.

"What do you want?" She asks as Lord Poseidon approaches her in a darkened hall.

She could feel the danger even though he smiled to put her at ease. His clayborn mask was pleasing enough- but all women knew the dread that rested heavy in the heart when a man desires you without gentleness or warmth. Without the blanket of love to keep you safe, the passion of others was a call to arms.

"I wish to pray for my brothers to the great goddess," he lies. "Will you pray with me?"

She is unsure. Scared. She knows she is in no position to say no, so she feigns a smile and walks briskly to the main hall, where a fire burns in front of a great statue of Athena made of marble and gold.

I put my hand on top of Lord Hades' and I squeeze. I do not wish to watch further, but I can not look away.

On his knees, the mortal skinned Lord Poseidon pretends to pray.

"O, wise goddess," he says, smirking to himself. "Mighty one. Gray eyed thing…"

He reaches his hand out and starts moving his rough fingers along her desirable hair like she was a pet to be stroked.

Medusa watches him from the corner of her bright eyes and then something in the air changes. The tension seems to snap and she gets up and runs. He chases after her and, being much stronger and much faster, he catches her before she can reach the temple doors. He grabs her and throws her back into the hall as the room begins to flood with frosty ocean water.

"You have a strange smell," he says as she gets up and runs to the altar to put something between her and him. "Why do you smell that way?"

He comes to the altar as well. It's a large thing, waist height, and covered in offerings to be burned. Animal fat, grain, pressed olives, and plants are sorted and ready for the flames. He makes a move to go around the right side so she moves to avoid him, but he changes course and moves to the other side as well, making her slip in the ankle high water.

He laughs.

She catches herself and tries to run around the other side again but he grabs her by the waist and throws her down on top of the offerings. She yells out at the pain and then tries to sit up as Lord Poseidon climbs onto the altar, sending the offerings unceremoniously to the ground in an act of disrespect.

"This was once my temple," he whispers, grabbing her ankle and pulling her to him. "It was taken from me."

He spreads her legs and inhales another deep breath.

"That smell," he says and then he looks at her seriously for a moment before shedding his mortal skin and filling the dark temple with his golden glow.

She inhales a deep, shocking breath that fills her lungs as he rests on top of her with his arms on either side of her head.

"Funny," he says, his voice now his own as his handsome, hooded eyes look over her face. She has not perished by his true form… he now knows something is different within her. "You smell like Athena."

She screams only once before being silenced with fear. I can not watch and I stand up and walk around the throne, covering my ears so I can't hear the violence. Lord Hades comes to me a moment later and uncovers my ears.

"It is done now."

I peek around the throne and see Lord Poseidon lift himself from Medusa. She has gone silent. She is shocked and she does not move as he kisses her on the lips and rights his clothes. Then he leaves, taking the salty sea water with him, humming to himself as if nothing had ever happened at all.

"I don't want to watch this," I whisper, turning away again.

I am angry. Angry for all the women who have ever been forced and held down. Angry for all the men who used their gift of strength to destroy the sacred femininity they coveted so much. Angry at the entire world for allowing it.

Lord Hades spares me a glance.

Athena returns to the temple but I don't look. I can only hear her. At first she is confused by the scene. She questions Medusa who is still too shocked to speak and then anger comes in the form of jealousy and betrayal.

"You smell of man," she says, her voice still cloaked in mortal skin. When she speaks again- her true form is revealed as her voice is the one I know well. "Why do you smell of man?"

Still Medusa did not answer. Had Athena possessed an understanding nature, she would have seen what this was. She would have been gentle and patient. But she was a warrior at heart. Logical and calculated, she could not see the nuances before her. She could not see the trauma or pain beyond her own boiling Chaos.

"Is this why you left?" She asks- she accuses. "Were you going to meet someone?"

Still clutched in Medusa's hand was her veil of sea shells. No doubt Athena could smell the salted water in her temple and she grabs the veil, looking at the ocean treasures as she makes assumptions about things she does not understand. Chaos blinded her. She could not see the damage that has been done as her divine blood made her as temperamental as nature itself.

"Why don't you speak?" She yells. I look towards the memory, surprised by the emotion of my level headed sister. Could she not see the fear? In her true form, did she not understand that Medusa is afraid? "Did you lay with a man in my absence?"

Medusa, who knew nothing of men but what the priestesses would tell her, did not know exactly how to answer. She was made to cover her beauty as not to tempt the men around her and only learned of love making through her times with Athena. What did this teach her? She was taught that it was her job to control the wants of men by hiding herself. That her beauty made men violent, not that men were inherently violent towards women all on their own whether they covered up or not.

She never knew how wrong it was or how it was never her fault. She had walked unveiled among the shoreline and in turn invited the attention of Lord Poseidon. She had not prayed or fought against his mighty light so what else was there but to assume it was consensual?

So, when Athena asks again- she says yes. She did not know to say that she was forced because she did not fight. How could she when presented with Lord Poseidon in all his glory? She did not scream or pray as her body shut down to protect herself against the unwanted advances of the ocean king. She did not know to say that she tried to run away or that she was now bleeding between her legs from the pain.

Athena did not bother to ask those questions either. Her jealous rage burned her belly and crept up her throat as her eyes went dark.

It was a wicked betrayal.

One could argue that Athena didn't truly love Medusa at all- because how could you ever do what she did to someone you loved? The long pale hair that attracted so many was transformed into snakes that bit and hissed around Medusa's beautiful face. The skin of her body turned black with scales and a serpent's tale formed in the place of legs.

She was made a monster by the one who loved her most and thrown into a gorgon's pit with the thoughtless creatures she was molded after. There she would suffer in the darkness, turning those who came into stone so she was left horribly alone with the beasts who bit and screamed and hurt her over and over again.

How long it took for Athena to realize what she had done- I think I will never know.

These memories of life belong only to Medusa.

In the pit, Medusa does what she was taught to do her whole life. She prays to and loves Athena. Her voice is still beautiful when she sings her hymns of devotion every morning. I wonder if Athena heard them… if her voice rang through to my sister's ordered mind and made her weep with regret.

Medusa was in pain… the pale snakes in her hair bit the tender flesh of her face. Her new scaly skin burned and itched. Her monster sisters nip at her and fight over the food who wanders into their dwelling. Any clayborn who comes, Medusa seeks them out for help, but they turn to stone whenever they view her which is another punishment added by Athena in her chaotic rage. She is hopeless… and eventually, instead of asking for help, she begs for release.

I look to Lord Hades and wonder if he ever heard her. But I know he doesn't listen to prayers anymore than Mother Gaia does. I sit back on my throne when Lord Hades urges me to and I start biting my fingernails anxiously.

Medusa spirals into despair until a man carrying the aegis- the mirrored shield of Athena- enters the pit with a curved blade that shines with divine light.

It was the cursed harpe of Cronus made of adamantine. The same blade that mutilated Great Father Ouranos and won the first war that ever was. The sparkling, unbreakable diamond blade known only to Mother Gaia that was kept in a vault on Olympus.

I look again at Lord Hades because the man also carries the helm of darkness.

"He carries so many gifts," I whisper after noticing he wears the winged sandals of Hermes.

Perseus puts on my husband's helm and disappears.

"This is a favored bastard of Zeus," Lord Hades says. "He asked to borrow many divine instruments at the urging of his daughter Athena."

I look back at Perseus when the helm gets knocked from his head. Handsome as he was, he was built strong like our father but he had warm brown eyes that looked nearly black in the darkened pit. He fought the gorgons easily enough. They were wild beasts like the bear or the alligator with bulging yellow eyes and fangs meant to tear flesh spurred on by hunger. It was Medusa he was after, the one who could turn a man to stone with just a glance. She waited for him in the inner chamber and pretended to sleep. She laid herself down on a smooth stone and kept her eyes shut as Perseus walked backwards, using the shining shield to avoid her cursed gaze.

When he saw that she was sleeping, he was suspicious, but ended up turning around to view her better with the shining harpe sword gripped tightly in his right hand.

The pale snakes did not rest. They moved around each other and hissed, but Medusa kept her eyes shut. I could tell Perseus was confused, even enchanted by her face. The other gorgons had been ugly things made of features designed to repel, while Medusa still held the beauty of her human form. He brought the harpe up but hesitated. Why? Perhaps it wasn't the heroic battle he had imagined when he was first given this task. Perhaps it was because Medusa had such a lovely face.

Suddenly, Athena came into the pit and stood behind Perseus. She was veiled from his view but I could see through her enchantment as she put her hand over his to guide him with divine intervention.

"But…" I whisper as she brings his arm down, cutting the sharp blade through Medusa's slender neck. The snakes start hissing and making awful noises as the head thumps to the floor with a sickening finality. "A mortal can not be freed from a transformation."

Perseus is careful with the head and holds it turned away from him to place in his enchanted sack. He leaves then, as quickly as he came as he gatherers up his divine gifts and climbs from the pit. Athena unveils herself and stares down at the headless body of the woman she once loved as the ticking noises of the shadowlands start echoing off the walls. The serpentine tail fades back into a pair of fair legs and between them is a blood covered foal with wings. Athena picks up the creature born of transformation as Medusa's scaly skin morphs back into the tender flesh of a woman.

Athena removes her cape and covers Medusa's nakedness before Thanatos flies into the pit. A light starts glowing from inside Medusa's headless corpse as a shadow appears from a crevice in the wall. It waits beside the body and Thanatos seems to be waiting for something as well as he stares Athena down. The young horse with wings starts to move within her arms and she shushes him back to sleep with her gift of reason. He reminds me of my brother Arion. A mighty horse born of the rape of my mother by Lord Poseidon. Something beautiful begotten by a betrayal of strength.

"I will not pull her out until the wing footed wonder comes," he says to her. "If you would like to explain to him what you have done."

"I don't need to explain myself to anyone," she says, a moment she is her usual proud self in the face of Death.

"Perhaps not," Thanatos smiles.

She stands her ground for a moment before deciding to leave anyway. With one final look to Medusa's everlasting light that burns brightly in her chest, she leaves with the gift of a winged horse bloodied against her breastplate. Brother Hermes comes into the pit with a lighted torch having just missed Athena.

"It has been a good while since there has been a blessed soul," he says to Thanatos, seemingly hurried and slightly out of breath like he ran a great distance. "What a strange place for it to be," he says, looking around the pit. He studies the people made of stone and the dead bodies of the other gorgons. "It appears you have been here before. Did she give birth?" he asks, looking under the golden cape at her bloodied thighs. "I smell new life."

"Are you ready?" Thanatos asks flatly instead of engaging in conversation as Hermes sniffs the cape like he knew it was not made by clayborn hands.

Hermes nods his head. Thanatos reaches his darkly painted hands into Medusa's chest and pulls out her everlasting light. It is blindingly bright and bathes the entire pit in a soft, white glow. The light takes form… but she is not ashen faced and gray like I know the dead to be. She is full of living color and almost glittering.

I look to Lord Hades again. Medusa was given this gift when Athena shared her blood. The forbidden thing…The broken law…. I know this is the fate that awaits Adonis and I wonder out loud if that is why she was able to be released from the curse of Chaos.

"I think not," Lord Hades answers. "I believe it was my father's harpe that broke it. It has properties we know not. Ancient magic forged in the belly of the Great Mother. That is why we had promised not to use it lest one of us tried it against the other. It is a wonder why Zeus gave it so freely to his mortal bastard."

I think of Athena. As smart as she was, I am sure she had figured out it was the only way to save Medusa from the awful fate she had given her. My mind turns to Adonis' mother with her weeping sap. Forever rooted to one place as a tree.

An arch appears before them and Hermes offers Medusa his arm as he ushers her through the archway and into the gates of Hades. The memory fades with the sounding of another horn and I stand again as another archway forms, bathing the hall in a blinding gold light.

"You can not look into it," Lord Hades takes my hand like he knew I wanted to see for myself. "The Blessed Isle is forbidden to us."

Hermes steps into the hall and removes his helmet. He looks up at the gallery, seemingly confused for a moment before bowing towards the dais and walking Medusa inside.

"What is the Isle of the Blessed like?" I ask, thinking of Adonis with their approach.

Lord Hades stands as well. "We do not know," he says as the clay covered beings start singing again… a beautiful hymn in the old tongue that does something strange to my heart. "We will never know. My father once said it was fashioned to be the most perfect place in all the universe… but I can't even comprehend what that could mean. Can you?" he asks curiously, a brow raised.

I can not and I tell him so.

"I can not fathom a world being perfect without you in it," he says, taking me by surprise.

Before I can reply another horn blares and Medusa approaches the archway, looking into its glory and seeing something we can not. It must be magnificent because the look on her face is one of pure joy and happiness. She has tears in her eyes and she even laughs a little before covering her mouth. I find myself slightly jealous and I try to bite the feeling back because the Blessed Isle is a place I can never even dream of knowing.

I look at Hermes and he gives me a sad smile before going to usher the girl inside.

"Wait," I say, moving forward to stop her. Hermes seems to get my meaning and gently touches Medusa's arm who's bright eyes see only paradise. "Will you allow Athena an audience?" I turn to my husband. "Let her say goodbye?"

"Athena is not welcome in the dead earth," Lord Hades says flatly.

"But she could come for a little while. Even a moment or two?"

"No," Lord Hades replies dryly, apparently not as moved as I was by the display.

"Husband," I whisper, looking sweetly at him and stepping near so brother Hermes does not hear. "Please."

Lord Hades hesitates a second before looking at Hermes and nodding his head. Hermes, with his swift feet, is gone all but a moment before returning with Athena. At first she looks unsure, almost angry, before she sees Medusa waiting in front of the archway of her ever after. Her brilliant gray eyes look into mine and she understands what I have done for her all at once.

She nods her head before she walks towards Medusa.

Lord Hades has the sense enough to ask Hermes to wait outside of the gates and I turn to him as Athena whispers words of love and regret into the light of the shade she had once loved.

The air becomes thick… the ground begins moving and spinning faster. I look to Lord Hades for an explanation. He has a scowl on his face as he turns his back on their affection.

"The dead earth rejects her," he says and I wonder if it ever tried to reject me.

The walls start humming… There is a shift within the caverns that tell of a disturbance.

Athena notices this too and gives Medusa one final kiss before she disappears into the arch. It fades away behind her. Never to be seen again, Medusa was off to paradise and Athena looked up at me and then to Lord Hades, with a grateful bow of her head.

"Will you tell Father Zeus?" she asks. She had no need to explain. Medusa earned paradise because Athena had given her the golden Ichor from her veins just as I had done to the baby Adonis.

"We tell no secrets to Zeus," Lord Hades says.

She takes that as an answer enough and then she looks at me, lowering her eyes. "Thank you, sister."

"I am sorry for your loss, Athena," I say seriously, hoping she can hear the sincerity in my voice.

Her eyes become wet with tears- but she does not shed them. Instead she blinks them back and then bows her head once more to take her leave.

"Sister," I say quickly before she turns away. She looks at me, her brow raised in question. "Bring me the harpe of Cronus before you return it to Father Zeus."

Lord Hades looks at me, his eyes narrowed, but he doesn't question it.

"Why?" she asks, her eyes sliding to Lord Hades.

"Because she wants it," Lord Hades answers for me, his voice deep and booming along the hall. "That is reason enough."

"I am to retrieve it from the mortal Perseus by the next full moon…."

"You will retrieve it now," Lord Hades commands. "The mortal bastard has completed his task and no longer needs it."

"I am to return it to Father Zeus," she says, her voice just as strong. She does not fear Lord Hades. "And Father Zeus only. You can not expect me to break that trust."

"It does not belong to him," Lord Hades says, walking down the dais to confront my contrary sister at full height. "You will retrieve it now and give it to Hermes to deliver it unto my wife, as you are not welcome in my kingdom. It is only by her grace that you stand here now as I never would have allowed it otherwise."

"Lord Hades—"

"You will leave now. I expect Hermes to arrive with it shortly thereafter and tell him to return my helm."

"And if I do not?" she asks, her jaw set and her eyes narrowed. She was ready to fight. Her sword hand twitched and her gray eyes flashed in anticipation.

"Then I will take your crime to the ancient tribunal myself," Lord Hades warns as the walls shake. She gulps, not half as brave anymore. "If that is what you wish."

She says nothing and he lets his threat linger before raising his brow. Even the mighty ones of Olympus feared the ancient hosts who slumbered in the cosmos.

"Do we understand one another?"

She nods and then bows at the waist. When she is gone, Lord Hades turns to me.

"You can not release Minthe," he says, his voice low. "She was not mortal. Her light will have nowhere to go and she will cease to be."

There is a noticeable shift in the air when Athena leaves our kingdom and I exhale slowly, suprised to find myself relieved.

"I want it for another."

We did not have to wait long before Hermes was announced and with him he carries the shining blade of Cronus wrapped in a rough sack. The helm of darkness he holds steady in his left hand.

He approaches the dais and offers the blade to me with his head bowed after setting down Lord Hades' mighty helm on the stairs.

"What will you do with it?" my brother questions as I grip the golden hilt in my hand and pull it from the sack. "Athena would like me to tell you that Great Zeus will soon know that it is missing."

"Thank you brother," I tell him, marveling at the diamond blade and liking how light it feels in my hand. "You may leave now."

He hesitates a second before turning to Lord Hades like he was waiting to be dismissed.

"Tell no one," Lord Hades says. "Lest Zeus think I mean to declare war."

"Do you?" Young Hermes asks and I look away from the blade, surprised by the seriousness in his voice.

"Not today," Lord Hades says with the slightest of smiles that does not put Hermes at ease in the least. "For the love you have for your sister and the task you have in my kingdom- tell no one of this."

He looks to Lord Hades like he understood what that meant.

"I only need it for a little bit," I whisper, watching my reflection in the unyielding blade… the material made of old curses and magic no longer known to the world.

I start walking from the dais.

"Where are you going?" Lord Hades' voice causes me to pause.

"I must put it to use," I explain as Hermes steps aside to let me through.

Lord Hades manages a short laugh.

"I told you that you can not return to the living earth," he says.

He left out the part that he did not think it was safe due to my father. Instead he let himself sound like a controlling husband in the face of my brother's empathy.

"If I may," Brother Hermes holds his helmet to his chest again. "If it is a task on the living earth you need to fulfill, allow me. Father Zeus has given me the blade in the past and will be more forgiving if he found me in possession of it."

I glance at my handsome brother and then to my husband. He looks over my face, for a moment trying to read my expression, before he turns away with a sigh.

"I will do it," he says, taking the hilt from my hand.

"No, I didn't mean–"

"It is the only solution," he says as he bends down to grab his helm. "I do not fear the wrath of Zeus and I will not sacrifice others to it."

"If he finds you with it- what will you do?" I ask and he gives me a little smile.

"I might castrate him with it," he says and Hermes sucks in a breath at such blatant disrespect. "The world of women could use the break." He laughs at the look on my face. "I worry not of Zeus…and what of you, young Hermes?" he asks, looking at my brother with a tilt of his fine head. "What do you worry about?"

"Nothing, My Lord King."

"Then we shall walk together into the dawn," he says, turning to me and kissing my cheek. "I will return shortly."

"Do you know what I meant to do with it?" I ask when he starts walking away, having realized I have not said so.

"Of course I do," he says and that is all before he leaves.

Once they are gone, I sit on the dais stairs unsure of what to do with myself. Then I remember the gift given to me by Lord Hades on our wedding night. I race to my rooms where, in the white sitting area, is the intricately carved mirror that shows the world of men. I touch it with the palm of my hand and think of the tree of Adonis' birth. It takes a few presses of my fingers before it focuses on Myrrha standing alone in the wasteland of red earth, quivering in the cold morning air. She stills when darkness circles around her and a second later she is felled with the swipe of an invisible sword.

The top half of the tree falls to the ground and shifts back into the upper torso of a woman, with the gray white skin of the dead and eyes open in shocked dismay. Thanatos swoops in very quickly and uses his darkly painted hands to free the light from her chest with a labored yank. Death stays no longer than needed and leaves with the shade of Myrrha through the cracks in the earth. Brother Hermes appears and digs a hole with his helmet at frightening speed. He places the top half of the poor clayborn girl into the earth and hesitates a second before twisting a ring from his finger to place inside her hands. He buries her for our shores and then leaves with a deep and respectful bow to the morning sun.

Lord Hades removes his helm, holding it under his arm as he walks to the tree trunk that is leaking blood red sap. He looks up at the sky, his brow furrowed before stabbing the blade into what is left over of Myrrha's transformation– roots still stuck deep into the ground.

Lightning strikes nearby and Father Zeus appears as if called.

I gasp despite myself.

"I don't remember leaving this with you," he says, pulling the harpe from the tree. He raises his auburn brows as he cleans the sap like blood from the weapon with the hem of his white tunic. "You seem serious about something, brother," he says, not looking up from his task. "What has you so troubled?"

"I warned you." Lord Hades says, his voice a frightening chill.

"Warned?" Father Zeus laughs at the word and then sets his brother with a firm glare. "What a funny thing for you to say."

"I told you that you will not want a wife of mine."

"Have I done something that displeased you so, Great Brother?" Father asks, his head tilted, gripping the harpe tightly in his right hand as if he meant to use it. "I can't even begin to know what that could be." Lord Hades says nothing to that. "Come now," Father Zeus relents. "Am I not allowed to want the company of my own daughter?"

"Why would you?"

My father shrugs. "Just to see how she is doing, I suppose. After you failed to protect her from our father."

Lord Hades swallows hard, almost flinching like he had been struck.

"All your greatness and noble pride could not save her from that, I see."

"You shall not call upon her again," Lord Hades ignores what he said. "No more summons or surprise visits, yes? She can walk freely on the living earth without fear of you."

Father Zeus stares at his brother.

"I will do as I please," he smirks. "But…" he eyes the blade once more and then looks at Lord Hades with thoughtful eyes. "Out of respect for you, dear brother, I suppose I can grant you this request. That is… if she hasn't done anything that would require my judgment."

Again, Lord Hades said nothing.

"Like, for instance…" Father Zeus took a few steps closer until he was standing right in front of my husband. "If she were to open her veins and give her Ichor to some undeserving mortal. That is a very serious thing, indeed. It is written, you know. I would have no choice…"

"Yes," Lord Hades agrees, cutting him off, and I feel my stomach ache at the thought. "It is a shame you must bring such a storm to your favorite daughter."

Father Zeus tilts his head. I have never been his favorite anything and he studies Lord Hades to discern his meaning. He is thoughtful for a moment before looking at his reflection in the blade.

"But, of course, one can never be too careful with such accusations," Father says as he accepts Lord Hades' play and he swings the harpe in a circle before placing it safely in his belt. "These young hosts know nothing of true punishment. Did we not fight to make life easier for us all?"

He smiles again. Lord Hades does not.

"I do have a grievance to bring to you," Father Zeus says standing taller. "It seems I fell into a very troubling sleep recently. As you know- I do not enjoy the pastime. While I was in this strange slumber- my darling wife was able to bring mighty winds down upon a favored son of my blood. It nearly wrecked his ship."

"So many of those running around these days," Lord Hades replies. "Your bastards."

"Yes," Father Zeus smiles. "If you do not wish for me to add anymore, perhaps you should give Hypnos up to my punishment."

"And what do you wish to do with the blood of Nyx?"

"Perhaps I will cut off his hand with this," he says, nodding at the dazzling diamond blade. "The Fates can not fix wounds from this cursed weapon."

"I am surprised you would try Mother Darkness in such a way. As you know Hypnos is her most beloved child…. But if you wish to mutilate him for a slight done unto your person by a wayward wife… I shall call him up now."

He goes to turn as if to call to the dead earth, but Father Zeus stops him

"Perhaps not," he says with a sigh. "I can not fault him for doing the work of Hera. She can be quite persuasive when given the chance." Lord Hades does not reply and Father Zeus exhales slowly. "I wish to offer this one the golden glow," he says. "He is special."

"Are they not all special to you?"

"Not like this," Father Zeus says seriously. "It is why Hera hates him so and keeps bringing madness upon him. Even she knows he is different from the others. He is the son she should have given me instead of the two I have been left with. After all this time, she still has not learned that my will is infallible and my blood line pure. I am allowing her the rage, as the boy can handle it–"

"The boy slaughtered his entire family,'" my husband says. "He handles it not well."

"His suffering has made him a living legend among men. He shows his strength and determination now with his penance to an earthly king. He will be rewarded and not cast into oblivion like so many others."

"And what of the other one? Did you not want him in your hall as well? There is only so much sacred water left now that Eros has called in his favor."

"Well," he smirks. "I told Hera I would not pursue it. It has tempered her for the time being."

They say nothing for a few moments and then Father Zeus narrows his eyes thoughtfully at Lord Hades.

"I have sent him to free our cousin from his torment. I thought you would appreciate that as you have always been fond of Prometheus."

"At the cost of Chiron," Lord Hades says, always knowing more than others. "You drained him to nothing and now he is nothing. Never to be again."

Father Zeus gives no explanation or defense. He just shrugs.

"His final wish was to release our cousin from his mountainside prison," he says instead. "I saw no reason to not grant it and now his memory rests within the stars."

"You no longer fear Prometheus' strength?"

"I never feared his strength." Father Zeus says, offended. "Not at all. His mind, perhaps, but I doubt he will be a bother anymore. He has learned his lesson."

"Perhaps," Lord Hades replied, his voice very low and thoughtful. "This son of yours can break divine Chaos? Even we could not destroy those chains when your mind cleared."

"He can," Father Zeus smiles like he knew something others did not. "It is a gift he was born with and made stronger by Hera's milk. He had relieved Great Atlas of his burden as well… but he was not ready then and Atlas must suffer his punishment longer. Do you see why we need him on Mount Olympus? He can help us right the wrongs we made in our infancy and he will be a strong ally if given the chance. Side with me when I call for his anointment and I will forgive Hypnos. I will forgive this," he says, motioning to the harpe at his side. "And I will leave Persephone alone when she walks on the living earth. You need not fear me or my intentions, my most beloved brother. I think only of our future now."

Lord Hades stares at his brother- his expression gives away nothing. He is always so good at keeping his thoughts hidden away.

"Will you send this bastard to my kingdom?" He finally says, surprising me. "I have a task for him to complete."

My mind races for what he could mean and then I remember the two mortal kings who scream in the darkened depths of our kingdom. One a son of Poseidon and one a son of Zeus. Two clayborn men with whom no one has even tried to save.

"If he can do as you say he can- you will have my support. Such power should not be snuffed out with death."

Father Zeus smiles, and then they embrace each other in understanding. Lord Hades then backs away and disappears when he puts on his helm. Father Zeus stares up at the sky for a few heavy moments before leaving and I turn when Lord Hades walks into the sitting room only moments later. The pale light of the underworld seemed to shine brighter and I looked at him in this new light with fonder eyes.

He was not Father Zeus. Full of power and pride. He was not Lord Poseidon. Full of rage and lust. He was as he has always been… set and serious… but fair and almost kind in his own way. Chaos lurked inside of him like it did us all… but he was never cruel… he was never selfish. Not like the others who stayed on Olympus troubled only with themselves. He was different from them. His time below had tempered his ego and given him a different perspective. He was still a king who commanded respect- but he never had to demand it.

He was all these things and he was mine.

Mine.

Just as I was his.

If he is surprised by my affection, he does not show it as I pull him to me to initiate a deep and intimate kiss. He tastes of longing and the never ending night that will come for us all, but it no longer frightens me. How could it? I had Lord Hades and his entire realm of darkness by my side and together we would walk into the forever night hand in hand.

He lays me down on one of the white couches, the beaded pillows pressed against my naked back as his fingers dance along my skin. I can't help but smile at him.

Things seem different now.

I feel as though I am standing at the edge of something immense. Something great, terrible, and bitter sweet. My feet rest against the precipice of a thrilling danger not yet known to me and I find myself excited for what it could bring. Lord Hades. My Hades. My King and my husband whispered his love for me against the shell of my ear and I felt something inside of me shift. Something had officially changed in my heart and mind and I knew there was no going back.

It had mattered not that he had loved before or that I had hated him once. He had waited thousands of years for me… for my love…. For my flowered feet to walk in the dead earth and wear his crown… and maybe I waited for him too. Not nearly as long, of course. I was still new to the world compared to him… but my light recognized his own and for the first time I heard his song.

It was a sweet melody that spoke of darkness and promise, and never ending nights with the hope of tomorrow.

Perhaps I have always heard it… perhaps it always called to me and that is why the dead earth accepts me so…because Dread Lord Hades had a song that so perfectly matched my own. His song was mine as my song was his and they fit together like the pieces of shattered glass mended with the golden blood of our kind. Something broken put together to make a new, beautiful thing.

"I love you," I tell him for the very first time and he stops his movements to look down at me.

Like always, he guards his emotions… keeps his expression hard to read as a defense to protect himself while he tries to figure out if I am telling the truth. It is only when I say it again that he smiles… A real smile. A rare smile. A face changing smile that speaks of happiness and relief. He kisses me, not a kiss of passion, but one of comfort and understanding as I run my fingers through his fine hair.

As we move together, our song carries through the darkness of our realm. It sails along the dead air and carries up into the world of men through crevices and cracks and caves. Soon the whole of creation will be singing our song. Soon everyone that ever was or will be will sing in time with the melody of death, decay, and a perfect Spring that follows the night.

---

"You mustn't eat it. Anything you eat from this dead earth will keep you chained to its soil."

"Is this not home, Mother?"

I smile at Adonis. He holds the pomegranate sacred to Lord Hades to his nose as he climbs further up the branches. It is not a good tree for climbing. He knows that. The trees in this grove are more bush-like and thin, not good for gripping and pulling. I fear he may fall, though I try to hide my worry so I do not become overbearing.

"Hypnos can bring you any food you like from above. But you can not eat the fruit of the dead no matter how it calls to you."

He furrows his brows. He is young enough to still have the roundness of youth on his cheeks but his body has shed the babiness to give way to an energetic child's thinness. Only his beautiful face hinted towards the man he would one day be.

"When shall I see this living earth?" he asks, climbing further still and causing a few of the pomegranates to fall to the ground. He has always been a daring boy, unafraid of most things and brave. A childhood of joy sowed in a sunless realm has made him confident and trusting in a way I now envy. "You always speak of it."

"When you are older," I say, fully aware I sound just like my mother. I pick up a pomegranate and press it to my nose. It smells of the dead earth and Lord Hades. I am tempted to eat it too.

"When will that be?" he asks with boyhood charm- his smile already missing two milk teeth that we had buried in the ground. "You get to see your mother whenever you like."

"And your mother is here," I say, walking close and grabbing his ankle to keep him from getting more entangled in the tree. "She rests now in Elysium if you want to see her."

He pouts at that and turns away. Like all the dead in this land, Myrrha is but a dream of her former self and the longer she spends here, the more of herself she seems to forget. She loves her child, her Adonis…. But most days are spent in a haze of the past. Her shade remembers the better times of her life and none of them involved her living son.

Lord Hades says that if she were to eat his blood fruit- then she would remember herself. She would be aware of her life and the fact that she's dead. It's how he made his ashy-faced attendants. A penance, he had called it… for those doomed to the gray fields of nothing before he allowed them to be reborn to try again, fully conscious of their life before. As a reward… a kindness… Not one for the living- he warned so I would know Adonis couldn't eat the seeds as it would bring him nothing but pain and tether him to this realm he would one day have to leave.

It seemed cruel, somehow… to make her remember when she seemed so very happy and I could not bring myself to take that away from her.

"No," he says finally, bracing himself on the branches and jumping to the ground. "I will not see her."

I try to hide my displeased face as he lands on the ground but I do not get to say anything else on the matter as Lord Hades appears behind him. Adonis stands very straight and bows his head respectfully in a way that he was taught by the nymphs who have helped raise him. My husband still takes no great interest in him and gives him only a tight smile before approaching me.

"The clayborn bastard approaches," he says and I give him a look as I do not like that word. I am also a bastard of Zeus, if one was to be truthful. "Cerebus is ready for him. He longs to see great Helios."

"Will you direct him to my valley first?" I ask, smoothing down a wrinkle on his clothes. They are blue… a dark, deep color that looks so fine on him. "Without you." I say gently so as to not upset him with a misunderstanding. "You are an imposing host. I wish to see if he can help me as you say he can."

"He is like his father," Hades says, glancing at the boy who is now rolling in the grass like a puppy. "Full of lustful urges and not much sense."

"I will be fine," I say to reassure him. "I will call for you if there is trouble."

He hesitates a second before nodding his head, willing to trust me.

He goes to leave me then, sparing Adonis one final glance before walking away. It bothers me that he does not try to love the boy and that he takes no interest in the child with whom I love so deeply. I am annoyed that he will not play father to my mother, but I suppose I can not have all that I want. Lord Hades was a host all unto himself. It was not my place to ask that of him.

The nymphs take Adonis to my room and then I wait under the birch tree dome at the heart of my valley. The false sun shines through the glass above and colors my body in reds, and blues, and yellows. I sit upon one of the comfortable benches and stare out into the valley where the grass meets the stream to live together in a perfect harmony. So beautiful was my valley and so grateful was my heart. I try to imagine what clayborn Heracles looks like… I have seen him, of course, in my god's window- but it was another thing to see him up close.

I know he is here when there is the slightest change in the air and a warning in the ground from Erebus. I stand and walk past the lush cushions to see the hill Minthe has claimed in the distance. Her thin body reaching towards a fake sun with purple fuzzy flowers at the top. I put my hand up against one of the carved trees and lean against it, my eyes slightly narrowed as I listen to the song of the flowers, plants, and small creatures that call this place home.

"My Queen."

I look over my shoulder and see an ashy faced attendant bending at the waist. Behind him stands the mortal image of my father. A tall, broad shouldered man with auburn hair burning red fire under a false sun, the mortal halfling was pleasing to look at. His eyes were a bright blue like my own and he wore a fine beard that covered the scars on his face. He stares at me for a few tense moments before falling to one knee and bowing his head. He was built strong and large, his hair thick and curled.

I dismiss the attendant, but he is hesitant to leave. I give him a look to make him go, but he says that Lord Hades had told him to stay. I clench my teeth together. My anger makes me want to command him again and to remind him of my station- but the word of his king will always be greater than my own. I accept him, but make him go far to the outer trees by the hillside. He stands in the shade and waves from the distance like I would want to wave back.

I make a face at that, but try to ignore him as I walk towards the clayborn man who still kneels in the grass.

"Heracles," I say gently as to not scare him… but how could I scare a mortal of such strength? I wonder if I am stronger than he is. I wonder if I could break his bones and snap his neck.

He glances up. His face is handsome- but it had the blemishes of the clayborn life. Ruddy complexion from hard living under the sun and a nose that has been broken one too many times. He was perfect in his imperfections…. Lovely in his non symmetrical features. I preferred him to my father.

"You have traveled a long way," I say, smiling. "And this is the last of your trials, is it not?"

He nods. His bright eyes dance over my face and I wonder if he sees any of himself in me.

"You look like our Father," I admit, not liking it and frowning at the thought. "You have his coloring and disposition, I'm afraid."

"I have never seen him," He admits before looking down. "My Queen."

"I suspect you will one day," I tell him and then I tilt my head. "You have come to bring Cerberus to the living earth?" I say, tapping my fingers against my stomach. "That is quite a challenge as he is a grand host."

"My life has been full of monsters," he whispers and then he looks at me again. Heracles had a brokenness in him… a tiredness and a deep seeded guilt that made his eyes sad. "Nothing about them bothers me anymore."

A cloud covers the false sun and I look up, my brows furrowed as the sky becomes dark with the smell of rain.

"Cerberus is no monster," I tell him, stepping down into the grass and ignoring the troubling sign in the fake sky. "He is my friend."

"I am sorry," he says, unsure of himself now. He looked the part of the reluctant hero. A man burdened his whole life with being both favored and despised by the mighty gods of Olympus. "I know nothing of this land. Only what I am told. I wish for my burdens to be done," he says seriously, his eyes thoughtful and far away with a lion's pelt on his shoulders. "I wish only now to rest. I chose a hero's life not knowing the cost and now I believe it is a debt paid in full."

I felt sorry for him. He did not ask to see the family that he murdered- perhaps out of shame- but that would be another disappointment as his children were already washed and sent back and his wife…. She toiled in the gray world of nothing at all and would no longer remember who he was. I wanted to embrace him and tell him things would be alright. But I do not. Instead I have him follow me through the fields of flowers and to the hill taken over by Minthe to find her at the very top, the tallest stalk. She sings, but I doubt Heracles can hear it. He just has his brows furrowed and he looks up at the rain that falls.

I do too.

It has never rained here. My light was enough to feed and replenish the plants that grew… but this rain was strange. An oil-like blackness that stained my pale dress and the clayborn's tan tunic.

I did not know if it was a warning because he did not belong— or something else entirely.

"Can you pull her from the ground?" I ask, ignoring it. "Can you change her back to what she once was?"

He looks at me.

"I don't understand." He says, looking back at Minthe. "These are but plants."

"The large one was a nymph," I say my shame out-loud and try not to let my voice waver. "A woman- once. Can you bring her back as you broke the chains of rich haired Prometheus?"

He looks out at the green covered hill, his eyes narrowed.

"I don't know how. I am strong," he says. "So strong I do not trust myself sometimes… I can break chains, and bones, and the people I love… but I can not break this," he says, motioning to Minthe. "I know not how."

I hesitate a second, unsure of myself before I urge him to try. Of course, he has no other choice but to agree to my command. He walks to her, the green plants brushing his knees and singing their song against his skin. He checks with me once to see if he had the correct plant before he reaches down and tears her from the ground. She screams and I cover my ears. The oil slick rain comes down heavier and thunder sounds in the distance. He looks to me, unsure of what to do as he holds her shrieking form. She quivers and shakes. She does not change back… she does not calm down. I run to them and shine my lights on her root. I place her back in the ground and cover her with the dead earth until she is well again.

I am angry now. Angry and disappointed with myself. Minthe seems to laugh at me for even trying… for even hoping to help her. Her mocking enrages me and I start to tear out the other plants that surround her. The same plants she uses to invade my tranquility and over take my flowers. Using my god's speed, I pull them root and stem from the dirt and throw them haphazardly into the air. The dirt and plants go flying behind me in my madness as the rain comes down hard from an unforgiving sky of gray.

I don't even know when the rain stopped, but it was gone by the time Hades places his hand on my shoulder to still my rage.

"Some things can never be made right again, can they?" I whisper, glancing up at him, my hands stained with dead earth and my dress black with oil.

"Not everything is supposed to be," he says, glancing at the clayborn man who stands awkwardly in his spot before dropping to his knees in reverence to my Lord husband. Husband helps me to my feet and I turn away from them to right myself and to get control of my emotions. "You trespass on my land, son of Zeus."

Heracles is covered in the black poisoned rain, but his eyes are as blue as ever.

"You must know, Dread Lord Hades, why I have come. You know all in the hearts of man and beast."

Lord Hades tilts his head and eyes the mortal son of Father Zeus.

"You may take Cerberus with you," he says and Heracles very nearly smiles at the simplicity of it. "He wishes to see the living earth and run in the fields of men. He is of three minds and one of them will fight you as his purpose is here and his task is never ending. Be gentle with him," he says seriously. "His chaotic nature will take over and he will know not what he does until he is in the land of Helios with the sun on his back."

Heracles nods in understanding.

"And I ask one more task of you, son of Zeus." Hades steps forward. My Lord Husband was taller, but Heracles was so solidly built… I wonder who would win if they were to fight. Of course, Heracles would be no match for Hades… but it would be close, I think. "In a deep crevice on the outer circle of my kingdom are two men made half host like yourself. They sit upon thrones of retribution and there they shall stay for eternity, unless you can free them of their punishment. I hear you are quite good at that."

Heracles looks at me and I lower my eyes. Not out of weakness, but out of shame when he asks what the men were being punished for.

"It matters not to you," Lord Hades says flatly. "It only matters if you can free them."

Lord Hades decides to take the clayborn hero himself. Away from my prized garden and the pale lights above. He does not ask me to stay, so I follow. Away from the beauty and wonder and past the swamps of sorrow and the fields of pain. Where in the crevice of a deep dark cave, two mortal men scream in eternal torment. Hades glances at me, his features strong and well defined under the red sun glow.

"Who are they?" Heracles asks, standing tall and unafraid against the fear inside. "How did they come to–"

He glances at me. Something in my face must tell him we will not answer and he inhales deeply, his chest rising full of dead air. He walks into the cave, his back straight and firm. As he disappears into the darkness, I feel a hand on my back and I turn to find Hades looking down at me again.

"I am sorry about Minthe," he says. "I know your guilt is heavy and she is not making it easy on you. Perhaps…" he furrows his brows and runs his hand up my spine. "Perhaps you should bring her above. Plant her on the living earth so her song can not trouble you while you are here. She will soon forget under the bright lights of Helios."

There are yells and shouts inside the cave. A man comes stumbling out and falls in front of us, his back completely flayed, showing withering muscle and bone. He is emaciated… closer to a skeleton than a man… cheeks hollow… eyes sunken…. ribs protruding. I look down in shock and move slightly behind Lord Hades, placing my hand on his arm because I do not like the sight or the smell that follows. In my heart I am still the sheltered girl in my mother's wood, not ready for the brutality of life. I use Lord Hades and his strength to shield myself from it, knowing full well that this pitiful being before me was of my own making.

The man reaches out his hands… his crooked, bloodied hands…. and he grabs the bottom of Lord Hades' himation.

"Forgive…" is all he is able to say.

"Theseus," Lord Hades says to the tortured man who has no strength to look up. He does not pull away, he lets the tortured man paw at his clothes. "Son of Poseidon. Killer of the Minotaur and hero of men. You have served your penance and are released."

The ground shakes. It shivers and calls out. Lord Hades raises his hand as if to command it to be quiet before turning back to the shriveled man on the ground.

"Return to your land, your kingdom, and your family. You will see me again soon enough, but on better terms- I should hope. If your life granted back to you is well lived."

He snaps for his attendants. They come from the darkness and help the tortured clayborn man to his feet. They carry him away, careful to not touch his wounds as he screams out. I turn and press my forehead to Lord Hades' back, thinking of Minthe. I can hear her cries in my heart and remember the smell of her green leaves as they creep along the ground, sucking out all the nutrients from the dead soil she's planted in. I can imagine how she would look if Heracles was to release her. Pale faced and thin as a blade of grass, her eyes would be haunted and her body bent from her ordeal… and she would hate me… hate me with the fire of one thousand suns that would glow like embers in her dark eyes. As if she could see right through me and into my light to reveal nothing but that weak willed girl I have always been.

I clench my eyes shut against the thought. What do I care about the hatred of a nymph? Or the flayed back of a hubris man? Perhaps I am too gentle… too young to handle such things. I rest not easy knowing I have caused pain… knowing someone doesn't like me and that I am the reason for such heartbreak. Why is that? What is it about me that makes me so soft hearted and easy to guilt? Lord Hades and my mother care not of the opinion of others. Even when Chaos boils their blood and causes destruction- they shed no tears for the pain that follows.

Lord Hades lets me stand at his back just as he had let the mortal grab at his hem. This whole realm leaned on Lord Hades and he carried the weight in silence. Why could I not be strong like him? Why could my thoughts and feelings not be more ordered and sensible? I am too easy to tears and quick to anger without the strength to know how to fix it.

I take Lord Hades' hand and say nothing of my thoughts or feelings.

We wait at the entrance of the cave but only Heracles returns, sweat dripping from his brow and his hands shaking.

"I can not help the other one," he says, nearly falling and catching himself. "The stone will not release him. The earth cries and screams at me."

"It is fine," Lord Hades says flatly, and I glance at him because he speaks as if he knew that would happen all along. "You may leave now with Cerberus." He snaps and more attendants come forth. "Bring this clayborn son of Zeus to the Deadly Gates."

They take Heracles with them, who spares me one final blue eyed look before he is gone. Piritheus screams from inside the darkened cave and I look to my husband once more as I step towards the darkness.

"Why could he not release him?" I ask carefully because something was off about Lord Hades… something had shifted within him and he seemed uncomfortable.

"The dead earth did not want it," he answers, not looking at me. "I did not want it."

"But, I thought–"

"I have not forgiven him for thinking he could have you… just as Heracles could not save Minthe… because you have not forgiven her either."

I stop myself from replying. Was that true? Was it my fault Minthe continued in torment because I would not… could not… forgive her? I don't like thinking about it. There were places inside of me not even known to myself and that troubled me greatly. Perhaps I wasn't as sweet and gentle hearted as I thought. Perhaps there was a coldness in me… a meanness that needed to be sated.

Forgiveness was hard. Forgiveness took courage and it was something even my mighty Lord Husband has not mastered. What hope did I have? What hope did any of us have?

"Can we send him a dream?" I ask. "Will you permit Hypnos to let him slumber? And Minthe," I whisper. "Can he give her a dream as well?"

Lord Hades watches me for a moment, his eyes flicking across my face before he nods his head.

We leave then and watch as Heracles wrestles the reluctant head of Cerberus into submission. His other two minds long for the sun and they put up a pitiful fight, but his right head is vicious and moves angrily in resistance. It takes a while- but eventually the hero subdues the mighty Hound of Hades and carries him from our realm with frightening strength.

Our kingdom seems to exhale in relief when he is gone. He did not belong here. Just as Adonis did not belong here. The living earth was for the living but I was not ready to let go of my child just yet. I take the pause in action to go to my chambers and clean myself of the black rain that stained my skin and dress. Lord Hades stays near, watching me like the process of me getting dressed was fascinating to him.

"What was that rain?" I ask him as a couple pretty nymphs come near to help me step into the new dress I picked out. "I have never seen such a thing."

"The dead earth is strange when things aren't as they should be," he answers, sitting back in the chair by the hearth as they tie the sides closed. "And there are many things that are not as they should be," he says, giving me a look.

I frown at him, not wanting to hear another lecture about Adonis. The nymphs braid and pin my hair, sending side eyed looks to Lord Hades who bobs his foot against the floor impatiently. I pick up a pointed pin to clean my nails and then I look at his profile.

"Did anything strange happen when I first came here?" I ask after dismissing the nymphs. He says nothing so I repeat the question. "I am not of the dead earth," I add. "Were there unhappy rumbles in the darkness with my arrival?"

"No," he says simply, standing in all his majesty to take my arm.

That is all he says. Sometimes I don't know why I bother even talking to him.

In the Great Hall, Lord Hades orders his attendants to gather all the god's windows from the realm. They remove the great tapestries and roll them up to put away and then hang the mirrors in their place. I ask how many god's windows there are in the world- worried once more for how many eyes have watched me on the living earth.

"There are twelve all together," My Lord Husband answers as he pulls me to his lap. "Two each given to my brothers to see the happenings of their realms and the living earth. Then the other eight are here," he says motioning to the six mirrors stretched on the walls. "These show the world of men. They were made using the glass black sand of Tartarus but the magic is lost to us now." I place my arm around his shoulders as he rubs my thigh, thoughtful as he watches his attendants work. "We have one that shows Olympus and one that shows the dead earth in my chambers but those are only for us to use."

I stay on his lap, fingering the embroidered pattern at the collar of his black tunic, wondering who makes his clothes. When I ask him, he shrugs like he did not know or care.

"Who makes my clothes?" I wonder out loud as there are always new and fanciful dresses hanging in my closet. I look down at the gown I wear… It's a mix of lilac dyed cotton and silk with a beaded bodice. "Someone made this for me."

I think about that for a moment. The nymphs make the clothes Adonis wears but I have never seen them working on clothing for adults…On the living earth my mother and I made our own dresses- or the attendants made them when we didn't have the time. I have never seen Cissa's talented needle embroider a cloak or Orphne's love of color put a pattern together.

"Is that not strange that we do not know where our clothes come from?"

"A lot of things are strange," he says. "Clothing is not one of them."

That is all he says. He falls into his peaceful reflection so I keep my thoughts to myself. Perhaps I could make clothes for Lord Hades. I look at him fondly and run my fingers through his hair, resting my hand on the back of his neck. That is something women do for their husbands, is it not? I don't think queens do that, though. I doubt Mother Hera sews anything for Father Zeus. I make a face at the thought and decide not to pursue it.

Eventually the infernal court comes to watch our Cerberus step into the sun and I stand as they all file into the room. Nectar flows and ambrosia is brought out for such a special occasion as hosts and godlings huddle in front of the god's windows to see Heracles and Cerberus walk side by side into the dawn.

I sit on my throne by Lord Hades. He accepts an offered cup of nectar and takes a drink before handing it to me. I take a sip out of the horned cup and then slowly lower it when a strange ticking noise fills the air. Lord Hades sits straight and all heads turn to the great doors as they open to reveal a figure cloaked in darkness.

Charon glides into the room, his black robes billowing around him as he approaches the dais.

"What is he doing here?" I whisper. "I have never seen him leave his task."

Lord Hades does not answer. Instead he takes the cup from my hands and downs it quickly before handing it off to an attendant. Charon glides to the dais, his black starlit eyes look at Lord Hades and he bows his head. My husband stands to welcome him and we all watch as Charon moves like a boat gliding on water to a window at the farthest corner of the hall. He settles in front of the mirror, his hood up and his body closed off from company. I make eye contact with Thanatos as he stands nearby and he smirks at me like it was funny.

"Cerberus has been his only companion for a very long time," Lord Hades explains as he settles back on his throne. Charon looks into the god's window while everyone keeps a safe distance. "Even Charon is not without feeling."

I suppose that is true and I sit on my throne beside Lord Hades as he continues to drink the nectar from his horned cup until his cheeks are red with overabundance. I place my hand on his to watch as Great Cerberus strikes fear and awe into the hearts of the clayborn's above. He is a legend to them- unlike anything they have ever seen before and that fear turns into distrust and anger. Only Heracles treats him with kindness while the rest of the world views him with contempt. He is presented to the wicked king who has held Heracles prisoner with his tasks and that king hid himself within a giant wine jar, unable to face the greatness of the Hound of Hades.

Laughter rippled through the court. It was a silly scene… such a proud and awful man shrinking away from Cerberus, who we all knew to be kind.

With Heracles' labors finally finished, he rests upon a feather bed with silk sheets and falls into a deep and peaceful slumber. Cerberus takes the opportunity to run away. We watch him escape the weak willed men and run into the forests and glens. His happiness is palpable… the snakes in his fur rest for the time being and grant him release from his constant pain under a moonlit sky. But he does not return when he is called and I look to my Lord Husband.

"He is near my mother's woods," I say as the court whispers to each other at what it could mean.

Suddenly Charon is before us- his ancient head tilted up to Lord Hades. His human skin looks like a melted candle and under the torchlight his black bones seem more sinister.

Hunger. He says without moving his lips. He will not return with it.

"He seems so happy," I whisper, watching him frolic on the land. "Perhaps he just needs more time."

Lord Hades looks at me, thoughtful.

"We will let him have this night," Lord Hades says loudly for everyone to hear as he accepts another cup of drink. "I will retrieve him when the new day dawns."

"Let me retrieve him," I whisper. "It has been a long time since I've been above and would like to see my mother."

He does not reply but makes a motion as if to say he will think on it. Annoyed, I step from the dais and pass frightening Charon to approach a god's window to get a closer look.

Cerberus runs along a hillside. He jumps and he barks…

"He is content."

I turn and see Ascalaphus beside me. He is dressed in his human form- his orange eyes shining in the torch light and his skin marked in varying shades of brown like his wings.

"But he is dangerous," he continues. Ascalaphus is a small, slight host- not much taller than me and the clothes that he wears are tight- form fitting to show how skinny he is. "He will soon start seeking out everlasting light to consume."

Never were. Never will be.

"Do you like flying?" I ask, changing the subject as I do not like it. "I have always wondered what it would feel like to fly,"

"I suppose it is an easier way to travel," he answers. His voice is calming- steady and without much inflection. "But there is something wonderful in feeling the earth against your feet."

Ascalaphus was the only host below who had a similar gift as my own. Though he could not create new life- he tended to the gardens and groves that grew Lord Hades' blood fruit. He used his gifts to nourish the plants that flourished in the gloomy darkness and I liked him. He was kind to me… and kind to Adonis for which I will be forever grateful.

Someone gasps and I look back at the mirror to find Cerberus entering a clayborn village and eating the light of the first man he sees. The two children that were with the man completely disappear as if they were never there at all.

Never were. Never will be.

I look to Lord Hades but he is already standing and speaking hurriedly to Thanatos and Hypnos. The brothers leave the underworld and Lord Hades follows behind- throwing a cloak around his shoulders as his gray skinned attendants bustle about him.

I run after him.

"Stay," he commands, not even looking at me as he puts on his gloves.

I do not listen and follow him to his waiting chariot in the Hall of Three Kings where the attendants ready his horses.

"Did I not tell you to stay?" He gives me a withering look as he steps into his chariot and takes the reins

"I can help," I say, stepping beside him. "You drank too much already."

He grabs my face in one hand, gripping my jaw. The glow of the nectar has already left him and he is so very serious.

"Do you not understand what has happened?" He asks. "I do not have time for this."

"Let me help," I say, moving my head away. "He is my friend."

"He is no friend of yours," he says, trying to get me to understand. "He is older than my father."

"I know that but–"

"He has allowed the darkness to take hold and the living earth is not safe for anyone. Even you. Even me. He is old. He is strong. He is hungry. So you will do what I say and you will stay."

The tone of his voice was so firm, I see no other choice but to do as he says. I step down and cross my arms, wanting to help but knowing Lord Hades was better equipped than I to handle such matters.

"If I do not return…" he looks down at me, a serious tilt to his head. "Take care of this land and be fair in your judgments."

"Hades," I say, surprised by his words but he doesn't let me finish.

"Let me kiss you," he says and I grab the side of the chariot to tilt up on my toes. He bends down to place a sweet kiss on my lips. "Farewell," he says as he looks over my face like it might be the last time.

He steers his horses of night up and out of the cavern.

I watch the crack in the ceiling close up after him.

"Mother!" I turn and see Adonis running towards me. The light haired nymph, Orphne, runs behind him.

"Sorry, My Queen," she says, breathless as Adonis hugs me around the middle. "He is just so fast."

"I missed you," he says, holding me tightly.

"You mustn't run away from your minders," I tell him, rubbing his arm and trying not to let on my worry. "It is not safe."

If I do not return. Hades' words trouble me… scare me…

"I know," he whispers against my stomach. "I just wanted to see you."

I look to Orphne. "Please take him back to my room and make sure he stays there until I come to get him."

She bows her head and takes Adonis' hand to walk him away. He pouts and nearly cries but goes with the lovely nymph after I tell him I will come for him shortly.

When they are gone, I go back to the Great Hall. The court is still watching the god's window as it follows Cerberus through the town of man, consuming light and ruining lives.

Thanatos swoops in and tries to save the wounded clayborn that the hound has attacked- pulling their light out to send below before Cerberus can consume it while Hypnos puts the village to sleep. The soldiers that came to fight the mighty hound are marched in slumber back into the buildings to rest. Under his gifts they are protected in their homes so prying eyes can not see or wonder or put themselves in the line of danger.

The city sleeps while the Hound of Hades howls at the moon.

When Lord Hades appears through a chasm in the earth- Cerberus charges him. There are a few shocked gasps from the crowd and I look over to find Cissa and her nymph companions all watching with hands covering their mouths. I look back to see Cerberus knock my husband to the ground and his ferocious right head bites down on his shoulder.

The court gasps again and someone yells out in shocked dismay. My heart drops when I see the golden blood leak from his wound and the light within his chest glows as if answering the infernal hound's call to rise to the surface. Lord Hades manages to free himself and tries to wrestle the hound to the ground just as Heracles had done… but this time Cerberus was fighting with all his might and the chaotic rage of all three heads.

He ends up pinning My Lord Husband to the ground, crushed under his strong front paw.

I bring my hand up to grip my hair anxiously. Thanatos and Hypnos do not notice- they are busy with their tasks and the people of the court began shouting at the god's window like they could make the brothers hear what was happening with their king. I look around the hall for the Furies- but I do not see them. Perhaps they are on the living earth completing their tasks… Perhaps they will hear what is happening and intervene.

Lord Hades manages to push him off enough to stand up, but Cerberus will not relent and he bites him again, this time on his left leg. He does not yell out, though I can tell he wants to. He stifles back his pain between clenched teeth and tries to jerk away but the head does not let go. He tugs as if he meant to rip the entire thing off and Lord Hades falls back to the ground again. The middle head rears back as if he meant to attack his chest where his light was waiting…. but there is a disturbance in the courtyard and a moment later my mother appears.

"Great Mother Demeter," someone says to my right and I look to find Styx standing by my side- staring right at me. Her skin is pale and covered in algae and her hair hangs wet and limp.

I turn away from the towering river host to watch my mother grab Cerberus by the back of his neck with both hands and throw him off.

He whimpers and turns around as my mother glares at Lord Hades.

"Why is he out of your realm?" she asks, angry and sneering. "Get your house in order, Hades."

My husband says nothing and gets to his feet, his wounds healing slowly as Thanatos moves in to try to subdue Cerberus but even he gets knocked aside, crashing into a clayborn building and making it topple. The sleeping people inside are killed from the action and Cerberus senses the light breaking free and runs like he meant to eat every single one. Lord Hades yells at Death to complete his task quickly to save the souls from being nothing and Thanatos disappears into the rubble of the building as the ticks from the other place surround the village in an army of shadows.

Hypnos attempts to whisper his glittering red words into the hound's ear- but he is thrown out of the courtyard by the angry right head.

Leaving only my mother and Lord Husband, they stand against Cerberus as they once stood together against the mighty Titans. They were well matched. They tried to fight back… They tried to subdue the Chaos inside of my friend without causing too much damage but it wasn't working. My mother broke Cerberus' back leg and when he hesitated attacking again from the pain- Lord Hades tried to pin him to the ground.

"Get him out of here," My mother called, her mouth bleeding and her face flushed. "Crack the earth and take him below."

"He will rampage there," Lord Hades replies through gritted teeth as he tries to keep Cerberus in place. "The loss would be devastating."

Never were. Never will be.

How many family lines could Cerberus destroy by eating the light of an old shade? The thought was frightening and I can no longer stand here and just watch.

My friend needed to come back from Chaos. It was the only way and I knew I could help. I leave the Great Hall, slipping out the door quietly to not alert the others and I use the arches to go before the Godly Gates. They do not open for me so I go to the Deadly Gates but even those are barred.

"Lord Hades has put us on lockdown," Ascalaphus appears, orange eyes glowing in the cavern hall of Cerberus. "There is no leaving until his return."

"Then I will find another way," I say in resolve.

I was not Lord Hades. I did not have mighty horses who could crack open the earth and fly through the air at will. I did not possess the strength to break the chains that kept us in- but I do remember something said to me when I was still new to the Dead Earth. When Sleep brought in a gathering of living red flowers.

There was an opening that had no gate or lock. It was through Hypnos' cave in his land of poppy laced dreams.

Past my green valley was the land of sleep and dreaming. I walk through its arches and am met with a thick fog that whispers of thoughts and feelings disjointed and pushed together in an awkward pattern of nonsense. Fantastic images dance around me. Dreams waiting to be had float along the wind in swirls of color, and shapes, and loud voices. Creatures made of clouds and shadow people not yet formed skip about me- waiting to be realized in the minds of men and hosts alike.

Easy to get lost. Ascalaphus whispers as he flies near in his owl form. Look at nothing but the path in front of you.

I walk into a sea of red… The flowers tickle my knees as they sing their song of slumber. I ignore them and run until I reach the edge of the clearing and see the great cave waiting for me. It has a door. A circular green door made of a material I have never encountered before… some light green shining thing that is not metal or stone… but something else… something made of nothing and everything all at once. I look up at Ascalaphus because I see no handle or way to open it.

"You must tell it what you dream of," says a voice I have never heard before.

I look behind me and find Morpheus standing near a dream of a horse made of wind and sand.

I am not sure if this is his real form- but the skin he wears for me is impossibly pale. The hair on his head is bone white like his eyebrows and eyelashes making him look frosted all over. His eyes are light- somewhere between gray and blue… and his wings are like a violent splash of red against snow.

I have seen that type of coloring before. It was rare but not completely unheard of on the living earth to have a pure white squirrel or deer in a family of brown and tan. such things were special… coveted. Beautiful in design- as was Morpheus.

"Whisper a dream and it will open," he says.

There was no time to hesitate. No time to overthink or feel silly, so I go near the circular door and whisper to it a dream that has lingered in the depths of my mended heart. I dream of love, and family, and a new life formed. I dream of blood and sacrifice and the forever night. I dream of spring and I dream of winter.

The door creaks open and I look inside to find only darkness.

"Queen of Dead Things," Morpheus' queer voice pulls me from the black night within. "You must dream of being swift," he says, offering the horse of sand and cloud to me attached to a chariot made of air and dust. "Dream of our King and our beloved hound."

I step into the chariot and grab the reins. Something brushes my skirts as I guide the horse forward- into the dark cave. It is pitch black nothing, hard to see and smells of strange spices. Ascalaphus flies near me, but I can't see him. I hear the swooshing of his wings and the echoes in the cavern that tell of running water. The horse is fast and gallops through the rugged terrain and sometimes I feel like he nearly takes flight.

Then there is light ahead and I urge him to go faster until we find ourselves in the world of men. Surrounded by the poppies of the living earth singing the song of Mother Gaia and drugged filled delusions, I compel the horse to move forward. Red flowers get trampled under hooves as I dream of my mother. I dream of my Lord Husband and my friend's unforgiving Chaos. I dream of Death and Sleep and everlasting light.

I find them outside the village gates. They had managed to get him out somehow but he was still raging, biting, and snarling and all four hosts had evidence of his violence upon their perfect bodies as the sun began to rise in the distance.

How odd it was to see my mother and husband standing so near each other, working together against a common enemy like they did so long ago. But Cerberus wasn't an enemy. He was my friend. I hop from the chariot and it disappears behind me as I approach the snarling three heads and say his name.

"Persephone, no," I hear my mother call but I ignore her.

I walk forward and hold out my hand like I always have. The light within my chest glows and Cerburus growls at it.

"It's alright," I whisper. I hesitate a second before reaching out and touching his middle head by the ear. The snakes in his fur slither around frantically, but his eyes start to clear as he leans into my affection. I take a step closer and bring my other hand up to run down his nose, his features are wicked in the cool morning light. "All is well now."

I hear a strange noise behind me and turn to find Adonis on the ground. He had tripped over a rather large rock and was holding his ankle. Lord Hades' mighty helm clinks and clanks on the ground in front of him, finally coming to rest by my feet. He must have followed me. How did I not notice?

"Mother," he says pathetically- his amber eyes on mine and brimmed in tears.

Cerberus shakes out of his daze and jumps back, growling and snarling once more before he charges at the child who's light inside shines brighter than mine. I move to shield him, my god's speed beating Cerberus before he can attack and placing myself between them. I hold up my arm as a defense and Cerberus bits right through it. I feel the muscles tear and the bone crack as he bites down with his sharp teeth, nearly severing it from my shoulder.

Adonis screams behind me and I nearly pass out from the pain as Lord Hades pulls the tightened jaws off of my arm. He lifts the hound and throws him into the woods. A handful of trees fall from the violence. I hear a whimpering from a distance and then Cerberus takes off into the night.

I look down at my arm… The skin around the wound is turning gray and decaying. Seeing it baffles me. I look up once at Lord Hades, wondering why his wounds do not fester like mine, but something inside of me tugs away from him.

I take Adonis' hand and pass him off to my mother. She says something to me… her long hair knotted around her face as the golden blood glistens at her busted lip…. But I can not hear it. It is like all sound has been sucked from the earth and I am left deaf to its noise.

"Bring him to your woods," I hear myself whisper and then with my god's speed I run into the forest to follow Cerberus.

I know I can bring him back from this darkness. I know I can stop him from doing any more damage. I know I can make him listen.

With the sun rise comes the heat of a summer morning but it is nothing to Tartarus… to the heat that's so thick you almost choke on it. The air smells of rain that will soon turn into an awful storm. It promises to be violent- uprooting trees and destroying villages with swirling, impossible wind.

The living earth is angry, I realize. She doesn't like that we are all here… She doesn't like what Cerberus has done.

I found him by a large lake. He runs along the shore, the water splashing around him as he barks and howls at the morning sun. How terrible he looks in the daytime. His black hair was matted in places and his faces… they were meant to be viewed in shadow under pale moon lights… not so naked in the sun as he truly did look like the monster people thought him to be.

"Cerberus," I call, my left arm limp by my side. It is not healing… It is a useless thing now.

All three heads look at me, black eyes glistening with Chaos as I approach.

"It is time to come home," I say, getting closer as he growls and puts his ears back in warning. "You can come back from this."

My Queen… his middle voice is breathless…His chins are dripping wet from drinking the water of the lake and the snakes in his fur are dormant for the time being.

"Did you enjoy your time on the living earth?" I ask, walking near cautiously, cradling my wounded arm to my chest.

Yesss… one voice answers, but there is something wrong. The right mind of his begins snarling at me again... His glittering eyes full of chaotic rage that is not yet ready to give up the sun.

"It is time to come home," I repeat and that only enrages his right mind more. The primal version of himself lunges at me, but I do not move. I shine my light. The light that makes the flowers grow and the trees sing…and it seems to stun him for a moment.

He blinks against it, confused. I feel the darkness leaving him… I hear the song of Chaos become fainter… and I take another step forward and then another… I go to embrace him, but his right head knocks the other two out of the way and he bares his teeth at me… like a thousand sharpened swords covered in golden blood.

Run… His middle mind whispers but then his right mind takes over. Angry and wicked… Your light will taste delicious…

His breath is hot and smells of death… He lunges forward and I close my eyes.

In a second, Lord Hades is before me and he pushes me back. I fall on the sand as he speaks to Cerberus in the old tongue of the ancient shadowlands beyond. I do not know what he is saying but Cerberus' right mind is still clouded with darkness. Lord Hades puts his hand up as Cerberus barks and snarls. My left arm feels like dead weight, full with venom that stings with each movement. I go to stand- but my vision is now blurry and I fall back down.

I lay on my back and look up at the sky… The clouds get darker with the coming storm and I struggle to keep my eyes open.

There is a commotion in the water but I don't have the energy to look to see what it could be. With a splash, a host is suddenly hovering above me. I suck in a breath in shock and try to back up, but I can not move far as the venom in my arm has spread and made me weak. The host above is pale and glistening with water. Her hair is red gold fire and it hangs down in wet curls past her shoulders, covering her naked breasts. She has a strangely angular face but there is something in her mouth- the bow of her lips maybe…. that looks like my mother. She leans forward, her nose nearly pressed against mine. Her eyes are a strange silver color and hooded like Lord Poseidon's… a dominant trait that most of his children inherit from him upon birth.

I realize all at once who she is and I struggle to say it out loud.

"Despoina," she says when I try to speak and her voice…. Her voice is odd. Deeper than Megaera's and scratchy like it is muffled through cloth. She puts her hand on my chest. "Kore."

"Kore," I repeat with a whisper as sweat gathers on my upper lip. That is a title given to the maidens of the flame. Eternal virgins who will never know the touch of man.

That was not me anymore.

She looks at my arm and tilts her head for a moment before bending down and biting my wound.

"Ow!" I try to pull away but her teeth bite down harder, her jaw iron clamped and her teeth as sharp as daggers. "You are hurting me."

She holds me firm and then pulls back only to spit black venom into the lake. I look down at my arm. It is now healed and that odd feeling that was making me weak is all but gone.

"Kore," she repeated in that voice that was so scary sounding. Far more frightening than any host who rested below. "Despoina."

"Despoina," I repeat back as she crawls backwards to the water. Slithering along the sand like some kind of strange snake. "Sister."

She stops when I say that word and she stares at me. She looked almost angry for a moment and she tightened her jaw in a way that confuses me. She charges me with her wicked crawl and I scream as she pushes me back and hovers above me. Suddenly, her long fingers are on my stomach and she makes a hissing noise.

"Womb," she says, her teeth are not straight. They overlap one another and are slightly translucent around the edges. "Sister."

"That is enough," my mother's authoritative voice makes my sister slink off of me. "That is enough," she repeats, pulling me to my feet.

My sister retreats back into the water and I glance at Cerberus. Hypnos has put him to sleep and my Lord Hades was deep in discussion with Thanatos.

"Why did she do that?" I ask, looking at my mother, still cradling my healed arm. "Why did she say womb?"

"I don't know," she says, though she looked troubled. "The boy is in my wood. Come with me and let Hades deal with the hound."

The boy. My Adonis.

I leave her embrace and walk over to Lord Hades. I touch his arm to get his attention.

"Are you alright?" I ask, looking down at his arm and leg where Cerberus had savaged him.

"I am fine," he says, taking my arm and running his fingers over my healed skin. "I did not think he had the venom left in him."

"Will he be okay now?" I ask, looking at Cerberus as he slumbers in the grass.

He does not answer, instead he turns to Hypnos and commands him to summon the Furies to help carry the hound below.

"I have to get Adonis," I say and he glances at me. I'm sure the thought of the boy never even crossed his mind. "I will return to my mother's wood and then I will come back home."

He licks his lower lip and then looks over my shoulder where my mother waits. I know better than to invite him to come with me and he knows better than to ask.

"Thanatos," he calls for Death and Death comes quickly. "Go with her," he motions to me. "Wait outside Demeter's woods and escort them back when they are finished. There are things I must attend to."

He looks down at me again. His hair is messy and there is golden blood dried by his ear where a wound has already healed.

He leans down and kisses me. He lingers there for a moment before he pulls back and then he looks over my shoulder again where I know my mother is glaring at him.

"I will see you soon," he says, backing up so he can step onto his chariot.

I turn to my mother.

I have never seen her look so angry. She offers me her hand and I take it, welcoming her comfort and she tells Thanatos to keep his distance to which he rolls his eyes but agrees anyways.

"He could walk with us," I whisper as we walk ahead.

"I think not," she says. "I have had enough of Hades' subjects to last me a lifetime, thank you."

"It was kind of you to help," I say honestly glancing over my shoulder to see Thanatos looking annoyed as he walks slowly behind us with long, exaggerated steps.

"He allowed his hound on the living earth to eat souls," she says angrily, her fists clenched as if she wanted to hit him with it. "Do you know the devastation that causes? The lives that are taken and the lives that will never be?" She looks at me. "Every life matters," she says seriously. "Every soul in turn creates another and another and the pieces of our world fall more into place. When one is gone… the pieces will never fit quite as they should ever again. Hades has grown so careless. There is a reason the hound is below. He should be with his parents in the pit. His gift is too dangerous and he is too wicked."

"Cerberus isn't wicked," I say, feeling the need to defend my friend as I know him to be. "I do not know what triggered him to do such things, but I know he is kind in his heart."

She doesn't answer and when we make it to her home, she has Thanatos wait just beyond the stream. She asks me questions she has never dared to ask before as she puts her arm in mine. Like what my tasks were down below. What flowers bloomed in the pale dead lights. How I liked the hosts who dwelled there… if I had any friends or people I could confide in….If Lord Hades respected me… if he was kind… Questions so simple that felt forbidden but questions I longed to be asked by the ones who loved me best.

There is a strange scent in the air and I look at my mother only once before we run towards it.

Glittering Aphrodite sits in a clearing among the wild flowers and ivy. On her lap sits my Adonis who looks at her with boy love eyes. The sun shines on them from overhead and it makes her glitter like a divine thing… like a wonderful thing… a shiny golden thing….

She glances up, having heard our approach and she smiles.

"Mother!" Adonis sees me as well and he runs to me. When he gets close enough I hug him and place him behind my back.

"How beautiful he is," she says as she stands, dressed in crimson. "You have done a good job with him."

"Why are you here?" I ask as she looks at my Mother.

"I came only to see the boy," she explains with a slight smile. "There has been much commotion on the living earth… I thought I should come see what all the fuss was about and look at who I found waiting." She motions to Adonis. "What a pleasure."

She walks to me and then bends down to look at Adonis as he hides behind my arm.

"It was nice seeing you again," she says with a sweet smile. "You are a strong boy, aren't you?"

He smiles and nods, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"I can already tell. I can not wait to watch you grow into a man."

She reaches out as if to touch him again, but I move quickly in front of him so she can not.

"Goodbye, Aphrodite," I say flatly to show she is not welcome.

She stands straight, towering over me.

"Goodbye. Persephone," she mocks me and then she laughs. "Until we meet again.

She walks past, her perfume rising into the air and wafting all around us. We say nothing and once she is gone Adonis tugs on my dress.

"Was she not pretty?" He asks, clearly in awe as all mortals are of her untouchable beauty.

"Yes," I answer, my voice short as I do not have the temperament to explain her charms to him just yet. "Where is Leada and the rest of your attendants?" I ask my mother, but before she can answer we see them coming into the clearing, their cheeks red and their eyes glassy with lust. All half dressed and smelling of sex. They look embarrassed and I know Aphrodite had used her powers against them. "We will leave," I say, putting my hand on the boy's shoulder and turning to my mother. "The living earth is not safe for us."

"It appears nowhere is safe for you," she says.

"I thank you again," I add awkwardly. "For helping…"

"Yes," she nods but says nothing else.

She walks us to the stream and then she kisses my cheek, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. She bends down and gives Adonis a sweet little hug that warms me to see. To see someone so powerful be so kind to the clayborn boy that I loved pleased me in a way I didn't realize I wanted.

"Mother," I say, remembering the host with red gold hair slinking into the lake. "My sister…"

"She is not used to being around others," she explains quickly. "I am afraid she has no manners."

I nod, remembering the way she placed her hand upon my stomach. I want to ask about her words again, but decided now is not the time. I leave my mother with Husband's stolen helm under my arm to walk across the water. Thanatos waits impatiently on the other side. He is annoyed, but says nothing as we walk away from my mother's wood with my hand holding onto Adonis'.

"That was the wrong thing to do," I tell the boy. "You should not have stolen Lord Hades' helm and you should not have followed me. It was not safe for you and you could have gotten hurt."

He nods his head, looking down as he kicks rocks with his sandaled feet.

"Were you not also told to stay?" Thanatos says and I glare at him. His great wings look so odd in the sunshine and he seems so irritated to be walking along with us. "I am just pointing out the obvious, My Queen."

Adonis is fearful of Death's painted hands and he stays quiet, speaking only once to ask me to carry him when he starts feeling tired. I pick him up, holding him against my hip like he was small again. I am pleased to find he still fits against me so well and I lean into his affection. The sun hurts his eyes and he keeps squinting against it until he eventually falls asleep with his face pressed against the crook of my neck.

"He is an idiot, you know." Thanatos says, giving me a look as the boy's legs dangle around me. "He is constantly putting himself in danger."

"He's just a boy," I say, offended, handing him Hades' helm so he has something to do besides criticize a child. I thunk it against his chest and he snorts at the violence of it. "Don't call him names."

"As you wish," he says, his eyes swirling. It's clear he wants to say more but does not.

"What will happen to Cerberus?" I ask curiously as he walks slightly in front of me, his legs annoyingly long, making it hard for me to keep up. "Now that he is below once more."

"Nothing, I suspect," he answers. "If we punished the call of Chaos all of us would be in Tartarus," he gives me a look. "Even you, My Queen."

I blush and look away from him.

"They light that he ate," Thanatos looks at me again. "Is it truly gone forever?"

"Never were," Thanatos answers with a nod of his head. "Never will be."

Never will be.

I feel a great sense of loss at the fact. It made me sad… for the light that was gone and Cerberus for letting Chaos reign. I wonder how he will feel when he wakes… I wonder how he will handle the guilt.

The journey to the underworld is long and arduous with the added weight of a clayborn child against me, but I do not complain. I enjoy his closeness as he is almost too old for it now. In the Great Hall Lord Hades waits, standing in front of the god's windows with his hands behind his back.

The room is empty now and Thanatos takes his leave with a bow of his head.

I walk up to Hades and touch his arm, Adonis still sleeping heavy in my arms.

"I keep making mistakes in my judgment," he says in a low voice, not looking at me. "Sentimentality has clouded my vision in a way it never has before," he adds, looking at me. His face is still covered in golden blood along the right side from a wound long healed, making him look war worn and hard. "And you keep getting hurt because of it."

"I'm fine," I reassure him. "You could not have known that Cerberus would let Chaos in."

"I should have known," he says darkly, turning back to the god's window that shows the village that Cerberus savaged. They still sleep and it is only a matter of time before they witness the horror leftover. "I should have seen it, but I can not when you are around. I find myself trying to be more like you… trying to please you with the openness you have but that is not me. That is not who I am and look at what has been happening." He motions before him. "I should never have taken you below," he says sharply, sparing me a hurtful look. "Perhaps then things would be different. You'd be married to a host more suited to your taste and I wouldn't be so foolish."

"You don't mean that," I say as Adonis shifts against me. "Don't say that."

"How bold you are to tell me what to do," he says coldly. "And now you hold a living child in my kingdom who you choose over me time and time again while I play the fool to make you happy."

"You are upset," I say. "I understand—"

"You understand nothing!" He shouts, scaring me and waking the boy.

He starts to cry so I call for an attendant to take him to the nymphs in my valley.

"You don't have to yell," I say once he is gone. "I know you are frustrated."

"Of course, you know everything."

He's being mean.

"I don't even know what I'm doing anymore," he says to himself, turning away. "And now I am told that a shade has been given the First Form without my knowledge and runs rampant on the living earth- mocking Death and offending Zeus who is already looking for reasons to defy me." He places his fingers to his temple like was trying to relieve a headache. "This business with the Hound is another mark against me. Suddenly my all seeing wisdom sees nothing at all."

Sisyphus. The name of the mortal shade who someone who was me but not me had given the gift of the first form.

"That was my fault," I whisper and he looks at me angrily. "I encountered him when I was helping shades that were stuck on the banks cross into our kingdom."

He keeps staring at me, saying nothing.

"He wanted to return to the living earth to help his children. His wife and brother had murdered him and refused to give him funeral rites–"

"That is a lie," he says, like I was stupid for even believing it. "He was a tyrant king who slaughtered his own kin and disrespected the guest rites honored by Zeus. He is known to be a trickster and he has been back on the living earth for years without me knowing- how could you not see the damage in that? Why do you do things without thinking and without asking me first?"

"It wasn't completely me," I admit. "It was the Cronus double but it read my thoughts and feelings on the matter—"

"You are not rising to meet me as a partner. I am lowering myself to please you instead. I embarrass myself in front of my siblings- in front of my court. I knew what Cerberus was and I allowed him to play on the living earth because he was your friend. I knew my father was not to be trusted even in the deepest pit but I thought I would show you that I trusted you as Queen. Chaos has not boiled my blood for a century but it did for you because you make me weak. my kingdom is in disarray. The living come and go as they please and I am tired because you say you love me but all you do is mess with that boy."

"I do love you." I say, trying not to match his anger. "And Adonis is just a child and needs more attention. If you bothered at all with him-"

"Who is he to me?" He asks sharply. "He is a clayborn nothing that you broke an ancient law for."

"He is loved by me, Hades," I say, trying to stay level headed. I can understand why he is upset… why he is frustrated. I just have to help him understand. "You should try to love him too."

"Of course," he sneers but says nothing else.

"You're angry–"

"Of course I'm angry," he cuts me off again. "You distract me, Persephone. I am constantly worried about whether you are happy. If you are comfortable. If you are safe because you don't know how to protect yourself. When you go to the living earth- will you come back? And if you do- what will your feelings towards me be? What problems will you have that I will have to fix? Who will take advantage of you because you are too silly to know better."

"That's not fair," I say, trying to not yell back. "You're blaming me for things not my fault–"

"Nothing is your fault, Persephone," he says snidely, repeating my name in his anger. "Because you are a child. I should have known better." He gives me an awful look. "You should have taken the vow of chastity that night on Olympus. It would have saved everyone a lot of grief."

I glare at him. A part of me wanted to rage back at him and a part of me wanted to cry. I won't just stand there and let him talk down to me so I leave instead.

I walk our haunted halls until I find myself in Elysium, going towards the memory of the nymph beloved once by Hades. I sit down on the swing I had put up for Adonis and I clench and unclench my fist in anger as I try to order my thoughts. I want to go back and yell at him. I want to say a million mean things and break things precious to him… but before I get up to do something so rash a leaf falls from above and lands on my lap.

It's golden yellow- not the dual green and white like I'm used to and I look up, gasping when I see the poplar tree has completely changed color. All the leaves were now yellow. I stand up and watch them fall to the ground one by one ... .Troubled when I realized that the between season of autumn had come to the underworld.

Troubled again when I realize that winter will soon follow…. and with winter comes the cold.

---

For the first time the changing of seasons had come to the dead earth.

No one was more angry about it than Lord Hades who said that Adonis was the cause of such a disruption. He doesn't belong here, he had said again-and maybe you don't either. I ignored it as I ignored him until he apologized.

Which he did not do for three years.

Time was different for him- being as old as he was. It went fast and he used that time to bring order to his house as my mother had demanded. He became strict in his judgments and strict with me. I was no longer permitted to roam the land as I wished and all things had to go through him first. I no longer sat in judgment as he never listened to me anymore and I wished not to waste my time just sitting there as an accessory to his glory. He was far sterner in manner and his decisions leaned to darker paths, which I did not like or think fair. But he was King, as he liked to remind me, and I had no say in his verdicts.

Lord Hades still took his rights as my husband and I still took my rights as his wife. Neither of us ever said no to the other when it came to love making- but there was a simmering resentment underneath coming from the both of us. Something broken that could be fixed if we weren't both so stubborn.

It was maddening but I had my Adonis and he filled my life with all the love I needed. I buried myself in raising him. I taught him to read and write in the different languages of the earth. I read him stories of the old gods to ignite his imagination and taught him how to listen to the plants and trees that sang such beautiful songs.

I was not alone in raising him. Many below took up the task as well.

Ascalaphus taught him how to sow the land and the difference in the edible plants above. Hecate came with her shadow dogs to teach him about the spiritual aspect of humanity- how to revere the gods on the living earth and how to soothe the soul when in despair. Cissa taught him songs and the other nymphs taught him how to sing and dance … We taught him what it was to feel loved. A true love. A real love. A shiny golden love.

Adonis would soon be a man and I could feel the change creeping upon him as his features started to change and mature. I knew I had to prepare him for a life above ground in an unforgiving world. I wanted him to always stay a child, but as he grew tall- I knew the time for his majority was coming and I could not give him up to the living world without any skill for survival as The Fates still tried to cut his string with every opportunity presented.

He needed to learn how to protect himself.

Hypnos taught him to hunt, fish, and ride using the horses of night that roamed the blue grass meadows. He preferred Alastor as the large stallion was Lord Hades' favorite horse and Adonis wanted nothing more than to please the great King of the Dead who would spare him no mind. Megaera taught him mathematics as her ruby eyes could see how the numbers united our world in ways I could not. I asked Thanatos to teach him about war and how to fight- for what better teacher was Death in the art of killing and defense? I would watch them spar with wooden swords in Elysium, worried again for what the future would hold.

It was winter in my valley when Lord Hades finally came.

It was snowing and the white blanket had settled over the vale, shimmering under the fake sun. Adonis took to using his wooden shield to slide down the hillside, his laughs carrying on the dead wind. I wondered, sometimes, if I was doing him a disservice raising him in the dead earth. He had no friends as there were no children in the land of Hades… but he didn't seem to mind for he knew nothing else, but sometimes… sometimes I had to wonder how that loneliness would manifest when he was older. Even with as sheltered as I was- I was permitted to have relationships with my peers.

There was a warning rumble as an arch appeared and Lord Hades stepped through as I watched Adonis from under the colored dome.

I did not look at him, instead I kept my eyes on the hillside as Adonis ran up with the sparring shield under his arm.

"Persephone," he said to get my attention. I glanced at him. He was dressed in a winter cloak with black boots.

At first, I had assumed he wanted to take me to bed as he usually did when he was done with his judgments, but the look on his face said otherwise.

"I am summoned to Olympus," He said. "It seems our realm isn't the only one that has been changed." He looked at the falling snow. "Great volcanoes have been erupting on the ocean floor forming destructive waves not caused by Poseidon's wrath and the living earth has been drowned in heavy storms."

"Are these anomalies not of Father Zeus?" I asked, arching a brow as I thought of my father and his power over weather patterns.

He shook his head.

"There is to be a council meeting of the six," he said, referring to himself and his siblings. "I must leave shortly."

I did not press him on how he had blamed Adonis for all the changes within the dead earth, but I'm sure he could read my expression.

"Would you like to come with me?" he asked. "Your mother will be there."

It had been so long since I last saw her as my place was now in the underworld and I did not want to risk Adonis again.

"Will you not just tell me what you want me to do," I said as Adonis yelled out behind us. I looked over my shoulder to see him going down the hill on the shield once more. "Is that not how this works anymore, My King."

He was annoyed with me. I could feel it but he did not say so. Instead he took a step closer to me. "I would like for you to go with me."

"I must always do what you say," I said snidely.

He narrowed his eyes.

"Are we finished with this now?"

"Finished with what?" I had asked.

"This anger," he said but when I didn't answer he inhaled a deep breath. "Do you want to hear that I was wrong?"

"You are never wrong," I said, not willing to give in. "How perfect your life is now. You have a compliant wife. An obedient queen who you may have anytime you like and here I stay. A slave to your every whim."

"You speak of me as if I was a tyrant," he said. "As if you don't benefit from my protection and the station I have given you. As if I haven't given you absolutely everything you have ever wanted."

I rolled my eyes.

"How dismissive you are," he said, angry again. "As if you don't hold my very heart within your slender fingers."

"Don't be dramatic," I said just to make him mad because one thing Hades never wanted to be was overly emotional.

He glared at me and clenched his jaw. "Do you want an apology?"

"I don't want anything you are not willing to give."

He sighed and then ran a hand through his hair. He was so handsome in the snow that a part of me wanted to forgive him anything if only he would smile at me.

"My anger was misplaced," he admitted. "You are not without fault," he added- which he did not need to and the face I made told him so. "But I was wrong. You do belong here and I have been an idiot all on my own to blame you for my shortcomings."

I wanted to press him more. I wanted to prolong his suffering as my annoyance with him was that great… but I could not- not when he was looking at me as if he thought I would not forgive him.

Before I could answer- the ticking noise of the shadowlands came and Thanatos circled overhead, his great wings blocking the sun.

"Adonis," I whispered, turning and running to where I last saw him.

I followed the line the shield made in the snow all the way down to the steam that was frozen over. There was a break in the ice and I called out to him frantically, at first not believing that he had actually gone under. I tried to look for him, walking on the ice and getting down on my knees to brush off the snow.

Thanatos landed down stream and I looked up at him. His swirling eyes were looking seriously into mine like he knew something that I did not.

Lord Hades appeared beside Thanatos and pounded the ice with his fist until it broke. I stayed on my knees, helpless, as he reached into the water and lifted a limp and blue Adonis from the cold. He cradled him in his arms and then looked to Death who shook his head and turned away. Lord Hades looked at me before bending down and blowing his light into Adonis' mouth. He was shocked into breathing again as Lord Hades' light pushed out the ice cold water from his lungs. After a heavy moment- he started sobbing, calling for me.

I ran to them and took Adonis from the arms of my husband. I cradled him to me even though he was much too big for it as I sank to my knees on the ice. He was coughing and crying but he was alive and I didn't sense any lasting damage. I put my hand on his soft cheek and smiled when his amber eyes looked into mine.

"You are safe now," I whispered to him, placing a kiss on his brow. "All is well."

I was gently rocking him like he was a baby again, pushing the curls from his face.

I glanced up at Lord Hades as the winter wind threw the cloak over his shoulders.

"Why will the Fates not leave him alone?" I asked in frustration. Thanatos flew away, sensing I wanted nothing to do with him. "You said no harm will befall him here but things like this keep happening."

"He was not supposed to be," Lord Hades answered. "You know that. The universe keeps trying to correct itself."

I could not accept that answer- so I said nothing in reply and Lord Hades did something he had never done before. He took off his cloak to wrap around Adonis and then he bent down to take the boy from my arms. Adonis was surprised too but welcomed the affection from a host he had admired and been ignored by his entire life.

I followed while he brought the child to my rooms in the cavern palace and he laid him down on my bed. Adonis was soaked and chilled as Lord Hades sat down beside him.

"Can you say my name?" he asked with his deep voice sounding so gentle and unlike himself.

"King Hades," Adonis whispered, his teeth chattering with the blanket pulled up to his chin.

"Yes, now say it here." He pressed his fingers to Adonis' forehead. "On the inside." He must have done it because Lord Hades nodded his head. "If you are in trouble, you can say my name just like that on the inside of your mind. Mean it like a prayer as you think of me and I will hear your voice no matter where you are or what is happening to you. Even if you can not speak. Even if you can not cry. I will hear you."

I felt my heart soften towards him as he looked at me over his shoulder.

"Persephone is too young to be able to sift through the voices," he admitted, looking back at Adonis. "But I am old," he smiled, that rare one that I loved so much. "I will be able to hear it."

Adonis nodded and then dared a smile.

The nymphs were called in to care for him while I took my Lord Husband to his bed and forgave him everything.

Things changed after that. My husband and I were no longer cold towards one another and Lord Hades took to training Adonis himself in the matters of war and peace. It warmed me to watch them together and it changed the love I had for Lord Hades. It was a deeper love... Not just the passionate love of youth- but the admiring love of respect and gratefulness. Adonis never quite lost his fearful need for approval by him- but Lord Hades did seem to soften towards the clayborn boy and I believe he very nearly loved him sometimes.

They both enjoyed riding and Lord Hades taught him how to control his golden chariot. The correct way to pull the reins and how to command the horses of night. Adonis grew fond of the animals of our realm and spent his time studying the creatures that called our shadowed caverns home. He liked to walk with the sable black cattle that roamed the countryside, eating the tall blue grass and he kept a journal with drawings detailing the life cycle of the purple butterflies in my valley.

Things in our world were still strange and not put together right. Above Mother Gaia sang a haunting song that spoke of coming heartbreak. There was a warning in the air… that was clear… something was coming but no one knew what or when. Father Zeus had fallen deeper into paranoia about what that could mean for him as he sat upon a throne that once belonged to Cronus that once belonged to Ouranos…. He became more temperamental and not nearly as cheerful.

When Adonis reached his majority at eight and ten, he ventured to the sun-kissed realm above as I always knew he would. Erebus started to shake and crack. The dead earth screamed and sighed. The living boy was no longer welcome in our shadowed halls once he was a man. I knew the day would come, but it didn't make me feel any more prepared for it.

He falls in love with its lushness and light and all the wonderful animals… and soon falls prey to the Lovely Aphrodite and all her unavoidable charms.

He returns only once to tell me goodbye and to seek my blessing. I give it because how could I not? I know what it is like to have a parent not approve of the one you love and I know the heartbreak it causes. At first I wanted to fight it and have him remain with me always but he was a man now and a mother's love can not satisfy a man's needs.

Just as I had hoped, Aphrodite's love protected Adonis from the violence that followed him and I was grateful to her for giving him the safety in which to explore the living world.

The rumbles of war rippled through the dead earth like raindrops dripping into a muddy puddle. Prepare, Erebus seems to warn, many will come. The mortal children of Father Zeus dwindle on the earth. Heracles is killed by a woman who was tricked into it by the insecurity of love. He was made divine due to the promise of my husband and walked into the golden halls of our Father with laurel leaves and doves at his shoulders. He is given a wife and a purpose and never ending life. Perseus dies of disease as a mortal king and his memory is painted in the stars as a testament to his greatness. Helen, an incomparable beauty reaching her middle adulthood- is once again taken from her home by a man who thought he was entitled to her love, and body, and birthright.

Another trick of Aphrodite's…. Thinking love was containable and people were chattel to be sold.

Perhaps it was Ares who sent the apple with Eris. They say she did it on her own as a disagreeable host angered by all and everything, wanting only to sow discourse and trouble. But I think it was the host of bloodshed who sent his companion into the wedding party and rolled the apple along the heavenly floor to ignite the Chaos and pride of the hosts who attended. It was such a foolish thing… so childish and beneath them… but Chaos was present and it flowed around them like a river, causing bitter hearts to beat in time and whisper I am the fairest. I am the fairest. I am the fairest of them all….

I do not know why they chose the young prince of Troy. Why this clayborn man of nothing and no one was sent to judge such hosts knowing it would cause strife and never ending unhappiness. What did Prince Paris know of beauty when presented with the veiled faces of hosts he could not completely see? Not truly. He was of the earth… his blood ran red and his soul would soon be in our halls… but it was fated. It was to always be that one golden apple started a war that would pit host against host until a great city fell and a million hearts were broken.

When Chaos sings and pride bleeds, it takes only three divine hosts to tear the world apart.

Troy had been sacked once by Heracles, but in his absence its walls grew stronger and its army more fierce. Most of the great heroes of the godly blood were gone- leaving Achilles and a few others who had no love for war. Ajax, a great towering man of black hair held within him the light of Father Zeus and the strength of the earth. Wise Odysseus had the blood of Hermes and a crafty mind to go with it. Aeneas was the beautiful son of Aphrodite and fought for the Trojans.

While all divine eyes watched Troy develop into the makings of a Great War…. My sister Artemis had eyes only for Adonis.

Hippolytus- the son of Theseus- had joined Artemis' maidens after his father returned from the dead earth to reclaim his throne. Theseus married a woman named Phaedra when it became clear that his son had no desire for marriage and would not continue the bloodline. By declaring it so, Hippolytus had offended sweet-faced Aphrodite with his arrogant words in her temple. He would not take a wife or a lover as the mere thought disgusted him. The host who brought such love into creation made him feel sick to his stomach.

As retribution- Aphrodite willed his newly wedded stepmother to lust after him with a maddening fury.

It was a cruel fate. She couldn't help her desire anymore than she could help the hunger pains in her belly. She was rejected, of course, time and time again until a maid pleaded with Hippolytus to put her mistress out of her misery and lay with her all but once. The man who longed for nothing of the flesh reacted with great disdain and sent the maid away. Upon hearing of his refusal one last time, young Pheadra, the Queen married to tortured Theseus- took her own life by hanging herself from the palace walls. As one last act of cruelty- Aphrodite moved the hand of the pained woman and had her write down that she must kill herself out of the shame for Hippolytus had raped her with violence against her body.

It was a wicked lie.

King Theseus- having never quite recovered from his time in our darkened pit- believed every word and prayed to his father- the sea dwelling Lord Poseidon. Give him death, he had prayed. Kill my son.

The words of madness- to kill your flesh and blood.

Hippolytus fled and ran with my sister for years as a platonic mate…well loved by all the chaste maidens of the wood and beloved of my dark eyed sister. Until one day a great wave came to land… horses made of seawater trampled and drowned him with divine revenge. The apology of Lord Poseidon for allowing Theseus to suffer in the dark.

Artemis was heartbroken, but it did not last long as her sadness turned to anger turned to rage. All of her attention turned to Aphrodite as it was her original curse that set his death into motion. She could never go against Lord Poseidon… but she could take away the breakable things that Aphrodite favored and her most favorite one of all was my Adonis.

A part of me could see where my sister was coming from. She thought if she killed Adonis then she could break the heart of Aphrodite… and send his soul back into my embrace. She didn't know what I had done. How could she? I wasn't even watching… I didn't even know when she sent the wild boar to maim my love while he hunted in the deep dark jungle.

But I did hear Aphrodite scream.

It sparked through the god's flames all over the world.

Curious enough, I ignored it until Lord Hades came to my valley. The look on his face told of something serious and when I questioned him about what it could mean, he was hesitant to say.

When the first horn blared, he gently kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him as the sound vibrated and shook the foundation under our feet. He was sad. I could tell… and I felt it deep within my heart that my Adonis was no longer living… no longer breathing…. And soon he would be gone from our world forever.

"No," I whispered, pushing his hand off and running to the Judgment Hall.

"Calm, my love," he said, catching up to me. I would not be calm. How could I? I pushed past him and sped to the dais, waiting for the hall to fill with godlings and hosts above. The trumpets blared as the flame of memories hovered in the air. "Persephone."

"Can you fix it?" I had hissed, not feeling like myself. I was afraid and not ready. "Can you go up and fix this?"

"It's too late," he answered. "The Fates have cut his string. There is nothing to be done- not even my Ichor could save him now."

"Can we not just give him the First Form?" I asked, trying to find a way to mend this. "He doesn't need to go under the arch. We can give it to him and he can be renewed."

Lord Hades said nothing- he just shook his head.

I began pacing the dais, back and forth and back and forth with my green shawl worried between my fingers. Perhaps, I thought, I was wrong. Perhaps another clayborn would walk through the doors and all would be well once more… but I felt sick. Sick in my stomach and in my heart because I knew the bitter truth even if my mind would not accept it.

Lord Hades took the glowing sphere within his strong hands and broke it over the podium. Then my greatest fear was realized. The life of Adonis played for us before the dark court, glowing along the walls to show his birth by tree… the forbidden thing I did to save him… His time neglected in the care of Aphrodite before he was returned to me…. Then his time in the underworld.

His relationships with the nymphs and godlings who now watched from above showed the affectionate way in which he lived his life. His adventurous nature and the mischief his boy heart got him into was illuminated against the cold stone walls. The time he spent with me and Lord Hades was revealed in glowing colors and I found myself sitting down on the dais stairs, my hands clasped in front of my knees as the bright light of his life washed over me.

It played in perfect silence…. No one spoke or moved. Even the clay caked creatures ceased their song. A strange feeling overtook the hall before his death was revealed. Nothing seemed real anymore, but there was no denying what was to happen next.

Adonis, the living son of the dead earth who learned to talk and walk amongst the shadows was finally coming home.

I glanced up.

Cissa and a few others were crying, balling up the sleeves of their dresses to wipe away tears. Hypnos looked sad as well and Ascalaphus put his hand over his heart in reverence when I made eye contact. I paid no attention to his time with Aphrodite… their love making and adventures were nothing to me… but his death… his death from the tusk of a wild boar divinely charged made me feel sick again and that sickness turned to anger… turned back again to sadness when I saw his death was painful and ugly. Not at all dignified or peaceful like one who was loved by me deserved.

"Did he call out to you?" I whispered to Lord Hades, shocked and dismayed by the violence of it.

Lord Hades sat down heavily beside me. I knew he was fond of Adonis, but he shed no tears.

"He said my name only once at the end when it was already too late," he admitted. "But then he thought of you."

I wanted to fall into despair. To fall to the ground and beat my chest for the pain I felt… but I did not. I stayed stoic as I stared into the light and let only a few tears slip. When the memories wilted, the great gates began to open, but I stood up and turned away. It was only then that Lord Hades touched me. He put his strong hands on my arms as the hosts above tossed down petals of flowers that grew in the dead earth.

I felt nervous… I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

"You must," he said gently. Sometimes he could be so thoughtful… so kind. I looked into his purple eyes and saw nothing but empathy.

I nodded and turned around, attempting to be brave as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. Adonis the young man waited for me before the arch of the Blessed Isles… looking handsome and glowing beside brother Hermes. I thought we had more time. He was just now an adult. My blood would have prolonged his life and made him young indefinitely…. but now he was gone before he even got to live. Before I even got to know the kind of person he would become.

I go forward to hug him and kiss his fine head. I tell him I love him and he tells me that we might see each other again one day but I do not have the heart to tell him otherwise. His mother is brought in to say her farewells but she is mercifully lost in a dream. She will bathe in Lethe. She will be reborn to live another life- hopefully one full of happiness.

The arch to the Blessed Isles is blindingly bright and it hurts my eyes to look upon it.

He kisses my cheek one last time and waves to the gallery above as they throw down more moon flower petals with cries and lemants at the loss of the clayborn light they had been so fond of. He disappears and the arch disappears with him. Then it felt like a true absence- a gaping hole left open in my heart.

My melancholy does not last long, as I hear a prayer cut through my mess of a mind that turns into a gentle whisper in my ear.

A strange thing, of course… an odd feeling… to be prayed unto my light by another host.

Queen Persephone, Aphrodite whispered. Return him to me. To us….

She was crying. Distraught. I walked to the white washed walls and cushioned pillows of my sitting room so I could look into my god's window. First I saw only my reflection and noted how the grief had aged my face already. I was more my mother than ever before. No longer wide eyed and rosy cheeked, there was a steeliness in my gaze and a sadness in the turn of my mouth. My gown was black and my hair was braided and pinned like a maiden no more. I placed my green shaw over my head as a veil and wrapped it around me to save me from the bitter chill of loss.

On the living earth, Aphrodite wept over his maimed corpse. She held him while his body decayed and the bugs started to swirl around him.

Please… Her voice was but a shadow in my mind. Queen of Dead Things. Return him to his first life so he may live again.

It was spring on the living earth and his body was starting to smell of death. Soon he would bloat and start to leak the fluid he no longer needed. I could not allow that to happen, so I left the underworld to bury my son in a fitting end to the body I had loved so much. With reverence, care, and love.

I found her under a canopy of flowering almond trees, cradling his body as foamy blood leaked from his nose and mouth.

"We must bury him," I said and she looked up at me as if she didn't hear my approach. Her eyes were red and tear filled, her cheeks flushed from an emotion one could never fake.

"He is dead," she said and I nodded my head. "And he can not be returned."

I said nothing to that, but she must have known when Hermes came to retrieve him… and when I came here instead of him.

I had no energy left in me to think of the consequences of that.

"He is in the Blessed Isles?" she asked, her voice breaking. "A fitting place," she whispered hoarsely once she understood. "He deserved nothing less."

"He deserved to be here," I said, placing my anger on her for the moment as Megaera waited behind me in the shadows.

I did not like the host Aphrodite. She was conning, and cutting, and dangerous. I thought her shallow and vain and unfair in her dealings with mortals… but it was clear she loved Adonis. A true, clear love that causes such a deep, darkened sorrow.

"Here," I whispered, placing my hand on the ground and asking Mother Gaia to shift and move her earth. For once she listened. Perhaps it was the despair in the air…or perhaps it was the firmness in my voice…but the ground shifted and moved until it formed a deep enough hole to bury his corpse.

I walked over to Aphrodite as she clutched him to her like an animal protecting her young.

"This was just his body," I said, bending down and putting a hand over hers. "Nothing more. He must return to where his ancestors came to feed the earth that once fed him. Do not let the ugliness of decay tarnish the memory of him."

She loosened her grip and I used my god's strength to lift him. I felt like he was an infant again and I was returning him to his cradle as I gently lowered him into the waiting earth. I had flashes of his life with me…How small he once was and how the top of his head smelled like perfect paradise… his first words… the way he smiled and giggled… How he used to look at me like he loved me most of all and the hand he would place on my cheek when he slept.

His face didn't look the same without his light to animate it so I covered it with my veil and ran my fingers through his dark hair, smoothing it back one last time. I gave his body the bracelet I wore and Aprhodite gave him her diadem before Mother Gaia covered his body with earth and grass. Aphrodite stood and crossed her arms uncomfortably. I watched her for a moment, the sun shining against her just right and making her eyes look so beautifully green like the forest behind her. I felt a pang of pity for her. I got on my knees and shined my light on the ground, pulling out parts of his body and the tears shed to make a bed of flowers on top of his grave. Red and pink- the colors of love, and lust, and Aphrodite.

She looked at me, her green eyes glistening with sadness and something in her changes… The way she looked upon me was different.

"I did love him," she said.

"I know," I replied, perhaps grateful for the first time that he got to experience that kind of love before he died.

"This was no accident," she straightened her dress and stood taller. "This was divine intervention."

"Against you?" I asked and she narrowed her eyes.

"Or perhaps against you," she said. "Only one host uses animals in such a way."

She let that sink in and I thought only of Artemis, the maiden of the forest and the animals that dwell there. It seemed so wrong, of course. Artemis knew of my love for Adonis. She had met him and introduced him to the beasts of the wood. I had even asked her to look over him while he rested on the living earth knowing that death waited for him around each corner…. But it was made true when I left Aphrodite and found my sister relaxing with her maidens in her tall redwood forest.

"Oh happiness," she said as she embraced me, but she pulled back when she realized I was not returning her affection. "I have sent the clayborn man to you," she said, turning to her women and shooing them away. "He can live with you always now… or he could be reborn… or you could even ask Lord Hades for the water of the First Form… as I am sure he would grant that to you…"

"Why did you do it?" I asked, a brow raised. She seemed confused by my seriousness and stepped back with an odd hmf noise caught in her throat. "Did I do something to anger you so?"

"You? Oh, no, no. Dear sister," she took my hand. "It was a punishment for Aphrodite. It was through her dealings that my Hippolytus was murdered by Lord Poseidon. I thought this would solve both our issues. She would lose her love and he would be back in your kingdom…" She trailed off when she noticed the look on my face. "Yes, the boar did not finish him as quickly as I would have liked–"

"It was a painful death," I said flatly, remembering the open wounds and broken bones.. "It was torture."

She swallowed hard. "I am sorry for that… but all is well. He is in your kingdom now."

She read the unhappiness on my face and tilted her head.

"Is that not so?"

I did not have the patience to explain to her anything of what had happened or what I had done. Hades rarely left his realm and now I knew why… the dramas of the living earth and the hosts above were exhausting in their pettiness. The pain we caused over and over again to others and to each other… When did it end? When were all these fights finally settled and no more innocent creatures had to pay the price of our pride?

The will to do much of anything had left me by that point and instead of the comfort of rage… I felt a strange numbness overtake me. I left Artemis staring after me in her woods. I found myself back at my mother's home, back on the mossy rock where I had sat when Aphrodite first took Adonis from me. Staring and seeing nothing like a stone lost in the memories of forlorn love and soft new skin against my lips. I ignored my mother and her attendants and I ignored the infernal hosts permitted to approach me on Lord Hades behalf.

I only came out of my daze with the full moon rising.

I look up at the pale light, suddenly thinking of my Lord Husband and wondering if he is on the other side of the stream. I would welcome his affection… his lovemaking… to forget. To sink myself into something else where thought and pain no longer mattered. To feel loved and close to another again.

I stand and walk towards the edge of my mother's sacred wood, but he is not there waiting for me. I am disappointed and I turn away- only to hear something say my name.

Perssssephone…..

I turn quickly but I see only a black snake in the distance.

It rears its head up to look at me with intelligent red eyes and flicks its forked tongue into the cool night air. It was something touched by the divine, I could tell… but he wasn't a host or a godling… he was something else… A suggestion… A dream….. I take a cautious step forward and ask him what he wants but he does not answer. I'm not even sure if he can. Instead, he turns and slides into the tall grass, disappearing into the dark. I bite the inside of my cheek… a moment indecisive before following after him. His song calls to me in the language of the earth and wind. Follow. It whispers. Come and see.

He slithers along the ground like a small black river and I hike up my dress to catch up to him, my feet moving quickly along the dry grass. Suddenly he stops and coils around to look at me once more. I ask him again what he wants but, instead of answering, he turns sharply to the right and disappears into a tall hedge.

I look at the wall of greenery, having never noticed it before. As tall as the tallest tree and wider than the land in which I stand… the hedge was an impossible thing that had no business being where it was. The area outside of my mother's wood was well known to me and I would have remembered something like this. As I stare and wonder of its purpose, the hedge shifts and changes, opening up a pathway for me to walk inside.

I hesitate a second.

I could feel the ancient magic in the air as the snake appeared down the path with the tall bushes on each side forming impossible walls to trap him in. It looks at me as if it was daring me to follow and I narrow my eyes at the creature.

The curiosity and the distraction from the pain I felt was too enticing so I stepped under the arch. The pathway was made up of white pebbles that hurt the soles of my bare feet- but what was pain to the great loss I had suffered? The hedge closes behind me and I turn to look at the solid wall of green, troubled but not afraid. Loss has hardened my heart… Sadness had dulled my fear. Adonis would have accepted this as another adventure in his young heart and with that in mind, I walked towards the snake. Unafraid and with my head held high, I followed it into the labyrinth made of hedges.

It was a swirling maze, full of false exits and twisting curves. The way behind me was lost and the way forward was a mystery with each turn of my flowered feet. Time creeped slowly but the snake kept its fast pace, staying far enough ahead of me that I could not properly catch it but never going so far that it was ever out of sight.

The hedge of thick green bushes started to give way to enormous, oddly shaped flowers with thick stems and glossy leaves. I did not recognize the song they sang or the colors they wore. It was something my eyes and ears had never beheld before and I found myself stopping to touch them. They felt waxy under my fingertips and I did not understand them.

The snake no longer mattered to me… the labyrinth in which I now found myself was what held my attention. The sky overhead shimmered oddly and the strange flowers soon gave way to a small grove of pomegranate trees. They were placed in strange positions. Not the perfect rows like down below… but staggered… like it was random and not cultivated...A naturally occurring thing. No longer the walls of a spirling labyrinth, the trees were almost forestlike and I could smell a burning fire in the distance that confused me. The ground underneath was now white. Not like the snow covered grounds of winter… but something else… something soft and warm to the touch that seemed like the virgin fleece of a lamb.

I wait just outside the grove, looking at the trees before bending down to touch the white earth. Mother Gaia does not sing. Her voice is nowhere near this place. The trees themselves sing a strange song and the fruit that hangs from them are made of red, shining glass.

The snake hisses to get my attention and I look to my left. It is farther away now than it had ever been before and it flicks its serpent tongue at me before disappearing into the trees.

I go to follow it once more, but Lord Hades steps out from behind one of the trees and blocks my path.

"Hades?" I say in surprise, jumping back. He is so close to me now.

He says nothing. He just looks at me for a few heavy moments before smiling.

"My Queen," he greets, slightly bowing his head.

My heart is beating fast as his appearance did shock me and I place a hand on my chest to calm it.

"I did not know you were here," I say, almost relieved to see him.

"Do you often follow strange creatures into places unknown?" he asks, his deep voice sounding playful as a smirk dances at the corner of his mouth. I do not answer. I realize it was a foolish thing to do but I don't need a lecture from him right now. "Do you like this garden I have brought to you?" He asks, looking around at the trees and the flowers behind us. "I knew no other way to get you to leave the prison of Demeter's wood."

I look down for a moment. My grief had made me selfish. I had let myself become consumed by it when I knew he must have felt the pain of loss as well. Perhaps I should have clung to him instead of letting my anger and sadness at the injustice of Adonis' death numb me to the world. I should have been a better wife to him.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, not liking to admit when I have been wrong. "I should not have stayed so long."

I take a step closer and give him an apologetic kiss. I put my hands on his chest as leverage so I can reach up, feeling the softness of his purple tunic under my fingers. It was made of a thick, heavy fabric and it had animals embroidered all over it with shiny gold thread. The cape he wore over one shoulder was of the same color and was secured in place with a golden broach. The clothes he wore were more regal and fanciful than I had ever seen him wear before and I mused on that as I fingered the silk that lined his cape.

He stares down at me. His expression was hard to read and his emotions were guarded. I didn't want him thinking I was purposely staying away from him, so I placed my hand on his cheek and gave him a fond smile.

"I am glad you are here," I say, my fingers slipping into his hair because I like the feel of it between my fingers.

I try not to think of Adonis. Of the state of his body and how his corpse looked when I placed him in the ground. I must remind myself that he is in a better place… the best place one could possibly be… but I can't help feeling this overwhelming sadness at his loss.

"What a funny thing," he says, his eyes dancing over my face as he reaches up and grabs my wrist. He places a kiss to the back of my hand and then looks at me with his lips still pressed to my skin. "How well you look this night."

I knew not what to say. I still wore the black dress I had worn when we sent Adonis to the Blessed Isles… I had not bathed or changed since then, but he smelled clean… like he had recently bathed in a hot spring with the cleansing oils that smell so sweet. I looked up at the shimmery sky and knitted my brows together because it was a smell I did not associate with him but I could not place where I had smelled it before.

"What is this place?" I ask. "It does not make sense."

"Is it not a special thing?" he says after a moment's pause. He steps back and drops my hand. I watch as he plucks a red glass pomegranate from one of the trees. It doesn't even look real… like a piece of art one would have just for beauty. "A symbol of our eternal life." He crushes it within his hands and the pieces shatter to reveal tiny red seeds that glisten within a thick red juice. "A symbol of abundance and power…."

He is thoughtful for a moment before letting the fruit slip to the white ground between us. The glass pieces shatter into even smaller pieces and the seeds stain the white wool floor before sinking into it and disappearing. He looks at me with his chin tilted down. The way he was looking at me… It was intense… It was heavy… It promised sex. His hand is covered now in the thick red juice of the strange pomegranate and he brings his middle two fingers to his mouth and wets them on his tongue. The way he is looking at me and the actions of his mouth stir the desire inside me. Those are the two fingers he often uses on me and to see his tongue on them…

"Come with me," he says, looking into my eyes as the pale moonlight casts strange shadows on his face. He smiles again like he knew what I was thinking as he takes his juice stained hand to grab my own. "I have something to show you."

He walks us into the trees and I look down at my feet as the strange white wool turns into the softest of green grasses. Suddenly the night turns to day and I stop, not willing to move because of the impossible thing. There was no explanation for the day that I now see. A strange sun rests on the horizon… Not yet setting but casting that perfect glow in the golden hour before night. It shines a pleasing light to reveal the most beautiful place I have ever seen.

It looked like the living earth… only better. More perfect. More pleasing and harmonious. The land was filled with an abundance of beauty. Like Elysium, it was pleasing to the eye but this was no illusion. I could smell the dirt, the plants, and the trees… I could hear their song better than I could hear anything ever before. There were rolling hills and great waterfalls that were stacked on top of each other and they emptied into a dazzling river that smelled like the nectar from Olympus. Plants and animals I have never seen before dot the land and colors I have never known paint the flowers. The trees sing a strange song and each is full of ambrosia… the flowering fruits of the gods.

I have never seen such things before.

"What is this place?" I repeat, uneasy as I turn more towards Lord Hades and press against him.

It was so perfect it scared me.

At the center of this paradise was a white god's flame that burned around a large and twisted tree. It bears a strange black fruit and its leaves are a deep and damning red. Its call pulls me in and I step more into the gleaming paradise as Lord Hades places his hand upon my back to guide me.

"My gift to you," he says sweetly once we stand in front of the tree that looks so out of place and dark in this land of eternal sun. "The very first place there ever was," he adds and when I turn to him, he gives me a charming smile. "The sacred garden of old."

Do I know this place? His words seem familiar. The sacred garden of old… it could not mean the first garden. The garden that was made before even Mother Gaia was formed… Where the old gods lived and called it home until they turned into their gifts upon the living earth. The paradise given to the first men until they were cast out. The garden my mother says was lost to oblivion.

"I wish to taste you here upon this green grass."

I look up at him, surprised by his suggestive words. His eyes are dark with lust and he makes quick work of removing my dress. I stop him at first, asking if it's wise to be so exposed.

"What if someone comes?" I ask, looking around at the strange beauty that surrounds us. "What if Father Zeus sees this within his God's window?"

He smiles at me, like the thought was funny to him.

"Look up," he nods above us- to the sun that shouldn't be and the shimmering atmosphere. "No one can see us here. No one will come. This is a place apart from the living earth." Still I do not let my dress go and he tilts his head. "Do you not love me?" he questions. "Will you not love me now?"

Perhaps this was how his grief manifested. Perhaps he needed this closeness and I felt like I could not deny him in this true eternal paradise where all things were right and good. I nodded and he pushed the dress off my shoulders. It fell to my feet in a pool of black silk. Perhaps I needed his comfort too… I needed to feel close to him. I needed to feel loved and not alone in my sadness.

He looks me over and then reaches out to remove the pins that held my hair up. The curls and braided pieces tumble down my back and he smiles again, his eyes shining.

"What a beautiful girl you are."

He lays me down upon the ground and spreads my legs, my body shaded from the golden sun by the leaves of the burning tree. The weather was perfect- not too warm or too cold but so comfortable that I thought I could lay here forever and be content.

He looked at me like he had never seen me before… his hungry eyes taking in my naked form and resting on my sex with lust glazed eyes. I close my legs, not liking how loud the ground beneath me has become. It was a voice I didn't recognize and it was warning me of something I could not understand. My mind was racing with jumbled thoughts and I was feeling things… so many feelings all at once. I was sad and I was happy and I wanted him to understand. The words could not come out because I didn't understand them either. I was grieving a loss but now I was almost jubilant that life had ever happened at all.

I found myself smiling. Not at him, but he didn't seem to mind because he smiled right back.

This land was doing something strange to me. It made me feel things I was not ready to feel and do things I was not ready to do. I wipe away a tear that leaks from the corner of my eye, unsure of why the emotion came.

"None of that," he says as he gets to his knees. He opens my legs and tells me not to close them again.

This land was making Lord Hades strange as well. The way he was speaking to me and the way that he smiled was different. I wonder if he cried over the clayborn boy while I was away. I wonder if he sat stoic and missed him as I will miss him for the rest of my eternal life. I have never seen him shed a tear over anything or anyone… but I know he was fond of Adonis. I know he loved him even just a little.

I laugh. I know not why.

He takes that as my happiness towards him and pulls the tunic over his head. I look down at his firm body, impressed again by his beauty. I run my finger over one of the angry red scars on his chest and lean up to kiss the corner of his mouth.

"This is how you were meant to be viewed," he whispers, staring at my breasts as I lay back down. He smirks before putting the two seed stained fingers inside of me. I arch my back. They slide in easily enough and I bite my lower lip. "Under this dazzling sun of never ending warmth. It is a shame to have your beauty buried so deep in the earth where it is only seen under the pale dead lights."

Before I can reply, he dips his head between my legs.

I gasp.

He consumes me with his lips and tongue, keeping my legs pried open with his strong hands. My body responds to the touch of his fingers and the warmth of his hungry mouth. The wetness spurs him on. I grip his hair and I stare at the burning tree as it sings to me. It sings of the first and last of everything that was or would be. It sings of forbidden things and the shame of sin. It sings of knowledge not yet known and secrets not yet shared. It is such a heartbreakingly beautiful song but I am pulled away from the melody when Lord Hades looks at me, using his fingers in place of his tongue as he watches my reaction from between my thighs.

"Does that please you?" he asks, confident enough to not wait for an answer before he places his mouth back upon me.

I arch my back again when the wave of pleasure comes and he pulls away to smile proudly, his lips glistening with my arousal.

How handsome he is with his messy hair and flushed cheeks. He bends down to kiss me and I can taste myself on his tongue. His lips move to my neck, my shoulder, then to my breasts. I push him back so I can climb on top of him and he rests against the ground, so close to the fire that it nearly touches his arm. I don't even think to ask if it hurts him or if that fire is too hot as I lower myself onto his sex. He watches me with lust lidded eyes and places his hands on my hips.

"Yes," he says. "Show me that you love me."

He is smiling up at me, so pleased with himself as I move on top of him, leaning back with my hands steady on his legs. He says other things… commenting on my beauty and the way the god's flame highlights the lovely parts of my body as my hair falls over my breasts. I never knew him to talk so much during love making and I don't necessarily like it but my mind is going in too many different directions to say otherwise..

I have to stop when the pleasure takes me again. It is almost too intense so I bite my lower lip to stifle a moan and I lean forward and grip his shoulders. He moves his hips up to push inside me a few more times before using his strength to lift me up and flip me to my stomach. The grass is soft underneath me and I run my fingers through it.

I try to catch my breath as I look at the fire. The strange voice sings underneath me again… in panic and in fear…I know not what she says.

Husband grabs my hips and pulls me up to my hands and knees.

He comments on the wetness of my desire before he slips inside of me. His strong hand wraps in my hair and he pulls my head back to place a kiss on the side of my face.

"The world keeps spinning," he whispers as I look at the twisted tree, moving forward and back with each of his hard thrusts.. "Time keeps moving. Even here."

His love making feels different… The rhythm of his movements is strange from what I knew them to be and he smelled different...The sweat of his body smelled not of the dead earth but of the swirling air and morning dew. That smell of humid grass with lightning brewing in the atmosphere. I let him have me this way for a few more moments before I turned over again, not wanting to look at the tree anymore because I could feel it looking back. He lays on top of me as I watch his face, trying to read the change in him and to understand why things feel so different.

I put my hand on his cheek and gently curl the hair around his ear with affection.

"You love me," he says and I am not sure if it is a question as his voice remains unchanged with no inquiring inflection.

"Of course," I whisper, kissing his mouth as I wrap my legs tightly around him. "I love you so very much."

He smiles at that, again pleased and lighthearted as he continues on with long, deep thrusts interrupted only by lingering kisses and love bites on flesh.

The lovemaking lasts for hours. His stamina is surprising as he has never lasted this long and he leaves marks upon my body from the harshness of his kisses. It continues on so long that my mind begins to wonder and I think of my valley below as my body moves with each hard thrust of his hips. The white fire that engulfs the burning tree dances before my eyes and I start to see images in the flames. Shadow people and events that are unfamiliar to me.

Lord Hades grabs my wrist and slams it down beside my head as his movements become more hurried.

Black fruit dangles from the branches above. I look at them sparkling in the golden sunshine, wondering what they taste like and wondering with whose blood they were sowed. I could smell it. It was special like Lord Hades' trees down below. He had said that his blood fruit could bring clarity to the dead… make them remember who they were and offer them another path at an ever after…but what of that strange black fruit? What kind of tree thrives in fire and grows fruit from the flames and what clarity would it bring?

"The feel of you," he says, finishing inside of me as he kisses away the tears on my cheeks.

He rests against me for a moment, his body shaking from pleasure before he sighs and rolls off. He lays beside me on the grass, staring up at the shimmering sky with a hand behind his head. I look at the tree, furrowing my brows when I see the black snake coil around the trunk- impervious to the flames.

"This place is familiar to me," I whisper as I sit up to properly see. "It is very similar to your grove below, is it not?" I ask, looking into the flames as if they could speak to me. "But I feel a great otherness too," I admit. "Something I have never sensed before." I look at him to find him watching me closely. "What is this place?" I repeat.

"It is the first place as I already said." He sits up and places my hair over my shoulder. "It was once a great, beautiful garden. Walls as high as the sky and full of neverending pleasures. The first garden. Full of everything one could ever need or desire…"

"And the tree?" I whisper, staring at the snake who is staring back at me. "What of that?"

I swallow hard- not liking the look of it and I feel so suddenly exposed. I stand to put on my dress.

"The heart of it all," he says, not bothering to cover himself as he lounges on the grass. "Sowed with the blood of our ancestors and endowed with knowledge of the unforeseen future. The forbidden fruit of time and space and the great beyond."

"Forbidden," I whisper, worried at the word. I turn away from the burning tree as I tie the laces of my bodice. "I have never heard of such a thing."

"It predates even Mother Gaia," He says. I can hear him moving behind me and suddenly he is at my back, pulling me close to his chest with his arm around my middle. He is still naked. "It is a moving thing… a hidden thing….A shiny golden thing never wanting to be found," he whispers against the shell of my ear. I shiver. "Some thought it was lost to the ages— but it is always here if one wants to find it."

"Why is it forbidden?" I ask, turning in his arms to look upon his handsome face. "You called it the forbidden fruit."

He shrugs. "It is a law written before known things," he explains. "I do not know exactly what knowledge the fruit bears… but I do know that banishment and hardship follows. Anyone who eats from this tree will one day die. Host and man alike." I watch the black snake curl around the branches, seeming to grow larger and longer within the fire. "That is why the clayborns are doomed to death and their everlasting light is sent to the shadow realms to wait for the end of all things."

I stare into the flames again. They now dance in a million colors and sing unto my light of mysteries, death, and the promise of salvation.

It will have three heads, I hear it whisper.

"When the first of the earth made children took from this tree- their punishment was the death of their body and the wasting of their minds in the ever after. My father had no choice but to banish them from this paradise made possible by the burning roots that nourished the earth and body in ways lost to us now. So a law was written that all clayborns would one day die and be sent to the hallowed halls of the underworld. The great caverns of darkness where shadow creatures dwell. My Father's Chaos sang that day and the world heard the punishment of strife and pain for the very first time."

"Cronus made the Isles of the Blessed for them," I say, thinking again of my Adonis. "He forgave them their curiosity," I add. "He managed paradise all the same even if it is not on the living earth."

"Yes," he says thoughtfully, his eyes watching me in that strange way again as he pulls the tunic over his head. "I suppose we will never truly know what lies beyond his golden arches."

"I should return to my mother," I say, trying to brush out my hair with my fingers as he puts on his belt. "I owe her a goodbye before I return below."

"Yes," he says, smiling again as he looks upon me. His eyes seem so much lighter now… Maybe the golden hour sun makes them seem so different. Maybe everything was just different in this strange place. "Mustn't disappoint your mother. We all know what grievous harm she can cause." He steps near me once more and brings his fingers up to my chin to tilt my face towards his. "I must leave you and return to my task as well. Too long I have lingered." He smirks and steps back- tightening his belt as he looks at the horizon. "Is the sun not brilliant?" he smirks at me. The sun catches his eyes… his pale purple eyes looked so different in color under this new sun. "Were we not brilliant?"

With another kiss he is gone and I am left with the god's flame and the burning tree it nourishes. It whispers to me… It asks me questions… It plants ideas… but I can not understand them so I turn away, staring at green grass ahead and wondering why I feel so ill at ease. I cross my arms, my body now feeling sore and used. I walk into the grove of pomegranate trees where the green grass turns into soft white wool and then to light stones in a pebbled path through a maze of flowers and tall bushes. Day turns to night in an instant and I look up at the moon.

I walk alone, lost in my thoughts.

When I make it out of the labyrinth, the garden disappears behind me and I stare at the place it once stood wondering if it had all been a dream after all.

My Queen. Ascalaphus flies overhead. Where were you?

I do not answer. I start my way home, my lips burning from kisses and my body aching from love making with bites of passion on my body that now feel shameful. I look once more over my shoulder… at the empty meadow with the night time sky overhead twinkling with distant stars. A moving thing… he had said. A hidden thing….not wanting to be found.

A shiny golden thing.

I find my mother waiting when I return. She asks me not where I was because we are past that stage in our relationship, but she does pull me to her in a mother's embrace.

"Grief changes us," she tells me as she puts her arm around me to walk us away from the stream. "It never quite goes away but manifests itself in different ways throughout our never ending life. Make it good," she says with wisdom. "As grief can also act as a poison to a trusting heart, it can also be a balm upon the soul that leads you to a better understanding of the living and why things are so important to us."

I look into her eyes. Ancient purple eyes that loved me so much…. but all I see is the burning tree and its dark fruit.

"Our light outshines the darkness. Love and kindness brings order to the Chaos that calls. We can not lose it inside of our sadness and despair."

I let her words sink in and I stop just outside of her hidden home. I turn to her as she runs her hand through my wild hair and she sniffs it. The look she gives me is troubling, but I ignore it. It is not her place to be upset with me for laying with my own husband.

"I think I know a way to help the mortals we love so much," I say, surprising myself when the idea boils to the surface. It had been planted somewhere deep in my young heart by the twisted tree of paradise. "You have tried to help with your plants and your grains… but mortal life hungers for a deeper meaning."

How terrible, to have paradise and lose it so callously. How deeply this thought has weaved into my brain like the roots of an ancient tree.

"Lord Hades judges the souls of the dead by the battles they win throughout life. Ignoring the small farmer and the girl who had no other choice. But I am now Queen in the dead earth and I know we can reward them… not with the Blessed Isles where we can not walk… but a valley of my own where they can live in peace and tranquility. Not once losing who they were, but retaining their essence to be with the ones they loved once more. True reunions.. Not just memories. I can give them a real paradise as your father tried to do before his madness gripped him."

I think of the secrets Great Cronus had whispered into my wounded heart. The mysteries of the blood and the promises we've made…and the knowledge of the burning tree which sings its song into my light even now.

She blinks at me, unsure of what I mean or why I say what I say.

"I need your help as you are much more talented with the flowering fruits than I am," I tell her, passion in my voice. "Like Lord Hades' blood fruit in his darkened grove, we can make a tree of knowledge sewed with our own Ichor that we can offer as a secret sacrament to those we deem worthy of it. Like your mysteries of the harvest that you granted to the clayborns so long ago, we can offer them an alternate path in the underworld and a healing weight in their bodies. One that bypasses the gates and the judgments and the need for gold. Even the poor and unloved can find happiness in their lives if they live how we wish them to live."

"It is a forbidden thing," she says, stepping back. "We can not keep pushing against these ancient laws…I know you are upset about the boy but–""

"We need not break this so-called law," I tell her. "We will not give our blood freely from our bodies. It will be sewed in the dead earth mixed with the living like Lord Hades' blood fruit but it will be ours. Yours and mine. We will take back this world from the men who claimed it while we were too busy looking the other way."

She says nothing, but stares at me unblinkingly.

"This must happen," I say, so sure. "This is what is supposed to be. Will you help me?"

"Yes," she says, deciding after reading the seriousness in my face. "This I will do for you."

I smile a little. I ask Ascalaphus to tell Lord Hades that I will return to our kingdom soon bearing with me gifts of the living earth. Lord Hades does not answer back- though I did not expect him to. My mother delves into the task I have given her and I help the best I can. To grow a tree that can thrive the dead earth takes time… takes patience to work out the intricacies of such a thing when most true plants need the sun to survive. I often think of the garden with the burning tree as my mother feeds our golden blood into seeds that grow into roots placed in a damp soil.

It will have three heads.

I think of the black snake coiling around the branches… and then I think of my sister. Her wicked voice and her strange face that was very nearly beautiful.

Despoina.

The third head.

She was the missing piece that we needed. She slunk onto the living earth, hunched over and awkward but willing to do anything my mother asked of her. I felt pity for her… seeing as she wanted the love and approval of my mother who had so freely given it to me all of my life. She took to staring at me with her silver eyes intense and almost angry. She barely spoke but when she did she said weird things that didn't make any sense. I didn't like it and I didn't particularly like her either… but her blood was the final ingredient needed to make the perfect seedling.

It only took a couple months to make peace everlasting for the ones we loved best. Together we thrived. Together we spoke of the rituals we would command and the gifts we would give to bypass the ancient laws that I found so rigid and unfair. It was during this intense and wonderful time that I woke one chilly night to my mother watching me from a darkened corner of my childhood bedroom.

"Mother?" I whispered, rubbing my eyes of sleep.

She was just staring at me in the darkness and she was crying. Not a desperate, attention seeking cry… but one that spoke of a deep sadness and silent suffering.

"What is wrong?" I whispered as I sat up, but she did not answer.

Instead, she came to my bed and slipped in beside me. She tucked the covers around us and wrapped her arms around me like she used to do when I was a girl. She hummed into my ear until I went to sleep, but she was gone when I woke in the morning.

Something troubled her, but she never said what it was and I never asked.

Despoina, on the other hand, constantly pressed up against me and hissed into my ear to tell me of her displeasure.

Even though she was a fearsome, awkward host who slinked around like a spider, hissing and making strange comments- my mother seemed pleased that my sister was around. Happy, even, that she was involved… but my sister wasn't pleasant and she was very rough. She broke things and flooded our mother's home with water when she got frustrated. She glared and clenched her fists at nothing at all. I couldn't tell what her gifts were either. She was the daughter of Great Demeter and Mighty Poseidon, but I had no idea what she did with her light… if she even had it at all.

"Hades hears," she hissed at me once when we were elbow deep in the earth, trying to figure out how to get the seed to sprout without the help of Helios. Her face was in mine again, in that awful way that she had and I tried to move away because I didn't like the way she smelled. "Hades knows."

"Right," I answered just to get her to stop talking to me.

I delved into my task to ignore the pain of losing Adonis and I dared not speak his name for fear of crying. My mother was gentle and spoke not of it, but Despoina kept saying boy with the boar…boy with the boar… over and over and over again until my mother snapped at her to stop… and then she shifted to the snake in the garden…. Snake in the garden…. Until my mother had enough and demanded that she go to Eleusis and whisper into the ears of the mortals there to build for us a great and mighty temple.

"She doesn't know how to act around others," she explained again and then I realized why my mother sympathized with Mother Rhea. It was the guilt, she had said… and my mother carried it herself having abandoned Despoina and Arion in their infancy because her trauma would not allow her to love them.

I understood my mother more than I once did. Adonis had made a mother of me and his loss left a piece of me in the ground with his decaying body. I was to grieve for him for the rest of my eternal life just as my mother had to grieve for the hosts that my siblings could have been had she been better equipped to handle the horror of their conception. She must now live with the fact that she turned her back on a son and daughter who still longed for her love and I must now live with the fact that I will never set my eyes upon Adonis ever again.

I do not tell her about the impossible garden or Lord Hades. It didn't seem real anymore and I knew in my heart that it would upset her somehow… so I kept that secret to myself.

When I am ready, I return to the dead earth holding a jar of seedlings that sing such a beautiful song. It was the song of my mother… and of myself…and of my strange sister who glared at me through narrowed eyes intense with misplaced rage….. And of all those people who would come to share our ideals.

In my valley, I sink to my knees to plant the first of many trees as my nymph companions gather around and ask of my time above. I dig my hands deep into the clay like earth to make room and I rub the body of Erebus and Mother Gaia down my neck and along my lips, getting lost for a moment in the simplicity of it all. I stand when I hear a noise at my back and turn around to see Lord Hades standing in the distance.

"Husband," I smile but do not approach because the way he is looking at me… he seems… upset? "I have much to tell you."

"You may leave," he says to the nymphs who have all caught on to his tone.

They can not leave fast enough and are gone within seconds. I watch them run off and then turn back to Lord Hades who is standing tall and damning under a false sun. I can not discern the look on his face. He is always so stoic, but I could feel the anger between us. It was a thick, hot tension that vibrated the bitter air.

"Is something wrong?" I ask, keeping my distance.

Still he says nothing. He looks me over once before focusing his rage back on my face. I try to understand his anger… trying to remember something that could have changed from the time I last saw him- but I come up with nothing to justify this feeling he is omitting and I take a careful step forward.

"What has happened?" I whisper gently but again he does not answer.

Instead he comes near and drops to his knees in front of me. He presses his ear to my stomach and puts his hands around me to keep me from moving, his hold crushing and unforgiving. When he finally looks up at me- his eyes have gone dark. A swirling midnight of a distant universe that sings the song of Chaos.

He stands then, towering over me in all his strength and I back up- tripping on the tree seedlings jar and falling on my back. I want to ask him more… I want to plead for him to return from his darkness- but I can not… not when he is looking at me like that… not when his Chaos sings so loudly and causes his handsome face to fall into a stone like mask of rage and resentment. I crawl back on the lush, green grass as Minthe's hillside screams a warning into my ear.

Run, she calls, Run!

I get to my feet and turn to flee. He follows, but when I look over my shoulder- he is not running at all. He is walking calmly and blue flames follow his footsteps, burning my valley and the trees I brought to the dead earth. The bugs and plants wail when the fire reaches them and Minthe screams into my ear as they eat up her hillside. By the stream and near the colored dome held up by white birch trees- I trip again. I fall partially into the water, but move quickly away when it starts boiling and turning red.

"Lord Hades," I plead, coming to my feet and looking towards him with my hands up. "If there is any of you left inside- please stop this. I know not what angers you- but please call in the darkness. There is nothing we can not face together."

He stops at that. There is not much distance between us anymore as his blue flames eat up my paradise and cause my world to boil.

"Whose child is that?" His Chaos whispers darkly.

I know not what he means so I do not answer.

Something happens then. The dead earth begins to move and quake. Parts of the forever blue sky begin falling in the distance as the false sun shoots flames into the ground around me. Lord Hades stares at me with black eyes so deep and damning and then he moves at his god's speed as if to attack me. I scream. With a flash of blue Megaera is suddenly between us, her wings spread as a shield. It makes me fall back and I land on the rocks by the boiling stream.

"My King," she says with her deep, chilling voice. She says nothing else for a moment… no plea or command… just his title as if to wake him from this nightmare. "You know not what you do."

"I know far more than you," his Chaos sings.

He looks at me. His face was full of such rage as he turned back to Megaera who protected me from his strength.

"It was not her fault," she whispers after a moment.

Not her fault?

Now is not the time to be interrupting, so I do not ask what she means as Lord Hades stands there like a statue. He says nothing. He does nothing. His Chaos swirls and anger simmers, but he does not let it destroy. Instead, he gives me one last blackened look before he disappears.

The destruction of my valley ceases with his departure and Megaera turns to me. Her ruby eyes glisten and behind her stand her fearsome sisters.

"What happened while I was above?" I ask in shock as she helps me to my feet. "Was it the grief of losing Adonis?" He seemed so light in the garden where we made love. What has changed? "What made him like that?"

"Nothing," Alecto says, her voice chilling and her chiton dripping red blood all over the ground. "He did not succumb to the darkness until you stepped inside the dead earth."

I look to Megaera as if she could explain it to me, but it is Tisiphone who answers- her horns curled and the charred parts of her moonlight skin glowing with orange embers.

"It will be a blood soaked day on Mother Gaia," she says, her voice like a death rattle inside a blackened nightmare. "Proud Olympus will come to heel."

"Why?" I whisper, my voice full of emotion. A brewing storm of fear and sadness seizes my heart.

"You brought with you a new light into our realm," Alecto answers- her voice not as frightening as her sister's but her eyes still flamed with fury. "The faintest of heartbeats of a newly formed soul."

It takes me a moment to understand her meaning…to understand the question Lord Hades had asked of me. I find myself looking down at my stomach. Placing a gentle hand upon my middle and willing myself to hear what he had heard. Just as I had with Adonis in the tree- if I concentrated enough- I could hear the softest thump, thump, thump, of a newly formed gift.

"Why would that make him so upset?" I ask, my eyes closed as a magnitude of emotions fall over me.

She does not answer right away, but she shares a red eyed look with her sisters and then the three of them step forward as if to protect me from the coming storm. It is Tisiphone who puts her sharpened fingers on my shoulder, gently squeezing and cutting into my skin.

"You smell of lightning," She whispers in my ear.

"You smell of thunder," Alecto adds so I will understand.

"You smell of Great Father Zeus," Megaera finishes as all three look up to the torn blue sky.

Betrayal… Chaos sneers and I look over my shoulder to see her fully formed behind me. Red like the dawn and clothed in the smoke of beginnings and of ends- she stood on top of the boiling stream in all her ancient beauty and offered her hand to me. Join me, she sings. Let us reign together.

I need only think of my father. The shapeshifting host who ruined lives. His smiling purple eyes are so much lighter and brighter than Lord Hades'. They stare at me through my husband's face and I feel a sickness in my stomach. It climbs up my throat like a black scaled snake and burns my tongue just like the white flames that nourished the forbidden tree in the moving garden of possibility. Where things felt different, and twisted, and wrong as my grief blinded me to danger. Yet I still allowed it to happen… I did not listen to the warnings or the voice deep within myself that told me that something was not quite right. Because I am stupid, and naive, and far too kind.

Kindness is always a weakness.

I reach for her, ignoring the Erinyes and their calls to resist as I walk along the water to get nearer. Chaos pulls me into her embrace and places a poison kiss to my lips as she envelopes me in her robes of smoke and ash and ugly endings. It is within this comfort of darkness that I find myself at rest- to wait out the storm and rise with the dawn of a new bloody age.

The age of Chaos.