authorsnote: this chapter turned out differently than I expected but I'm happy with it; I hope you are too!
and happy new year! I'm aiming for monthly updates in 2024, we shall see!
songrecs: love the hell out of you - lewis capaldi
Commiserating with the Marauders wasn't something Harry had looked forward to, but he did leave it with a smile.
Lots of 'Cheer up its just detention', 'We actually have a running bet of who will have the most by the end of the year, looks like you're on the board 'Honestly, we were starting to think you were stiff's'
It didn't stop Hermione fretting and grumbling about being known as troublemakers, but it did make him smile and hers followed in kind, especially so when Remus outlined, he'd had three detentions last year, and he was a Prefect now, Hermione was mollified.
They were like that, when one was happy, so was the other, like sunshine spreading, Harry could rarely be unhappy if Hermione was smiling, and vice versa.
"You know I don't think they can retroactively make you a Prefect" Harry mulled and narrowly dodged a punch to the arm from Hermione as she sniffed there was a precedent thank you very much, he grinned as she told him how she'd looked it up (because of course she had), and he decided for the sake of his left shoulder he wouldn't argue.
And so, even laden down with detention, and Hermione double checking Hogwarts a History, they managed a smile as they curled up in bed, still next to one another, unable to sleep alone (they'd tried one night and barely gotten a wink, both waking up constantly, too nervous alone, worried more for each other even than themselves), with smiles on their faces.
But come Monday they were a little more grumpy, after a day of Double Potions, Double Charms (and a very tricky lesson on air charming), they had detention, together at least, but detention all the same, and that even for Harry was a cause to be grumpy.
Harry was fairly used to it, he'd done his fair share of scrubbing cauldrons and writing lines (once in his own blood, so how bad could it get really?), but as they entered the trophy room and were tasked with scrubbing all of the silver until it gleamed without magic (under the watchful eye of … Filch? Really?! And Miss Norris trailing behind, did anything change?), Hermione looked worried, no she looked horrified.
"Its fine" He said, Filch left them to it with threats of flogging if they slacked off, but he had no magic to hear them chatting at least, "One detention"
"One detention to begin with" She grumbled, and Harry tried not to grin, he'd forgotten how much she liked to abide by the rules, forgotten how out of the three of them she'd somehow managed to avoid detention almost all together.
"How many school rules have we broken before?" He asked cheekily, and Hermione shot him a glare to which he laughed. Some things, regardless of time travel, never changed, and for that he was thankful.
He and Hermione didn't change.
"Most we weren't caught breaking" Hermione said grumpily as she picked up the cloth and began to shine one of the trophies, Harry followed her lead and began to buff out: Grace Grunderwands Award for Herbology Excellence in "Taming" Venomous Tentaculars (As Much as Anyone Can), before he responded.
"Well, we'll have to get sneakier again" He said, they had, had a year out from Hogwarts after all, they clearly needed to relearn how to avoid not only Prefects but Peeves too, the Ghosts as well as they weren't all friendly. It was strange, but he liked to think of it as thought they'd come back for their 8th year, though they had another two after this.
"We were plenty sneaky on the road" Hermione said, and Harry nodded as they both shined hard, Harry the 'Hogwarts Quidditch Cup 1974: Slytherin' and scowled, he'd have a say in changing that this year if he could, whilst Hermione buffed out fingerprints on John Kunningtons Award for the Top Result in Arithmancy in over a century and vowed to have her name on that trophy at the end of the school year.
"And we need to be that sneaky again" Harry said, "Unless you want more detentions"
At that Hermione blanched, Harry laughed, and Filch came hurrying back, the two trying to muffle their laughter as the old Caretaker promised a flogging, and it truly felt like old times.
Another week passed, and then another, and before they knew it October was due to end, and Halloween had rolled around, the sky darkening, the air chilling.
It was truly like no time at all had passed. The decorations, the students running through the halls, the pranks (the Marauders at the forefront), were all the so similar it was like being back in their own time. It was both nostalgic and bittersweet.
Still, she couldn't help but get a little festive. After detention and her vow to once again be teacher's pet she'd been avoiding some of the more elaborate pranks the Marauders had concocted but had been smiling from ear to ear at Harry happily throwing himself into them (and teased him when he, plus the Marauders had found themselves in joint detention twice), he looked like he really belonged, and she was glad for him.
Glad for herself too, her time travel jet-lag had gone, and she was back to her old self with vigour, and very appreciated by the Gryffindors for all the points she was getting them, almost offsetting the Marauders (almost).
Today though Harry was a touch more melancholy and she knew why … Halloween however many years from now, 6? 7? Had seen his parents die and his life become cursed by the shadow of Voldemort, it would always have a curse over it for him, and her by extension.
Neither could truly be happy whilst the other was sad, they were linked like that, and she was sure always would be.
"It won't happen again" She said it like a promise as they walked into Transfiguration, the last lesson before the feast that evening, she squeezed his hand, "Not this time"
He managed a smile at that and squeezed her hand back which Hermione considered a win.
Anything to take that awful look off his face, terrified history would repeat itself, anything she needed to do she would. She knew it would be hard, knew it was more than masquerading in this time, more than becoming friends with Marauders, more than working hard in lessons.
For the last war they had hidden for most of it, so desperately searching for horcruxes that before the final battle they'd never been on war footing technically (barring the Malfoys, but she tried not to remember that experience too keenly). This time she wondered if it would be different; would it? Harry would want to defend his family, but there were still horcruxes to find and destroy, still a madman to stop, if a little less mad and thus scarier by default of being coherent and more deadly this time.
She frowned as she followed Harry into the Great Hall for lunch, decorations floated but it wasn't in the splendour it would be for the evening, though she couldn't enjoy it, Harry was frowning too, but for a different reason.
He was frowning due to his usual mourning on this day, she was frowning because she was realising, they might have to hunt a bunch of horcruxes all over again, this time whilst trying to stop Harry's family from dying all over again, otherwise what would have been the point in coming back?
Coming back to a time, despite their admirable ability to adapt, they had come unprepared to, as she, just now realising the task before them, had been made clear.
Still, she didn't say a word as she sat down next to Harry who picked at his lunch. She did shove some treacle tart his way that he happily took a slice of, whilst she ate her sandwich and contemplated the tasks that lay ahead of them, this time alone.
She'd talk to Harry, about their future plans, things they'd had no time to think on due to the way they'd travelled back in time, but not today, not right now when he had such a heavy look on his face.
For now, she just offered him a smile, reached for an apple and teased him about having one of his own (which he did with a small grin and a roll of his eyes, but she considered it a win), before they made their way to the afternoons lessons.
Yes, later they could talk about the massive tasks that lay ahead, for now, on this day, she would just offer him her hand, and when she did, he took it.
He'd always felt a sense of dread at the Halloween feast.
For years he'd just figured he was reminded of the troll, but he knew really deep down he hated the holiday because of what was associated with it. Whilst other students thought of dressing up and pranking, Harry only thought of his parents.
He'd tried to distract himself. Pranking, studying, reading Rune translated books back to back with ease (which both impressed and annoyed Hermione which he couldn't help but find amusing), and yet there was no real distraction for the pain of knowing what had come, and what this time he had to prevent.
It was strange as well, mourning them, when he made his way into the feast, Hermione at his side, and sat down opposite his Father, his Mother further down the table, giving him that look before turning away. Here he mourned them, remembered the sacrifice they'd made for him, and yet they were here, they just didn't know him.
And that had started to sting.
Of course, he'd rather know and have them than not, but the fact they didn't know him was difficult, he was their son, and they had no idea, his Mother maybe felt something towards him, and he'd become fast friends with his Father, but it wasn't the same.
It never would be.
He'd never have them raise him, not this version of him (though trying to get his head around that paradox hurt), they'd never really be his parents, not in this life. He could hardly tell them could he? No. He would keep them alive, he'd be their friend, but that was all he could do, keep them safe, keep them alive and be happy enough with that.
It was worth it of course, coming back, he still felt that, but he also felt an ache in his chest, keeping them alive wouldn't undo what had happened in his time, and that he could never change.
"It's okay" Hermione said gently squeezing his hand and he smiled, he had Hermione, she was the only true family, who knew him inside and out that he had left.
He wondered what they'd do, if they won the war this time around, saw dust to Voldemort for good, where would they go? Could they stay here? Watch his parents raise a different version of him? Or would they leave? Go abroad, slip into hiding so not to create any paradoxes? So not to be in the way? They'd have each other, that was the most important thing, but how he didn't know.
The future remained murky, but he was still determined, keep everyone safe and alive, he could figure out the rest later, he would figure out the rest later.
"You know Blishwick, you might have a shot at Head Girl" Sirius said with a grin, wearing an old fashion witches hat for the festivities, he pulled it off though, and knew it, "Though careful, Ariana Shafiq might have your head if you try" He pointed with his fork to the Ravenclaw table at a surly but pretty dark haired girl who glared as she caught Hermione's eye, "See?"
"What's her best subject?" Hermione asked quickly, shooting a glare back before turning away, Harry managed a grin, good luck to Ariana was all he thought, he knew who his money was on, regardless of the situation, whether it be a duel or the race for Head Girl.
"Transfiguration" Lupin said as he cut up some potatoes, "But she's a top student, the top in Ravenclaw, and the top girl in school" He paused then, contemplating, "Was at least"
Hermione sniffed, "Well, I like healthy competition"
"She won't" Harry murmured and grinned again as Hermione glared at him to the Marauders laughter, that warmed him inside, and he felt compelled then, to say something, something he'd been thinking for a while.
"Thanks for coming with me" He said, - to anyone else it didn't mean anything, especially as the Marauders had become preoccupied by one of the 3rd year Gryffindor boys suggesting they set off fireworks, but to Hermione it did as she smiled, she knew what he meant, and her smile was dazzling, replacing her glare for Ariana Shafiq and lighting her up, inside out.
"Always" And it was true, without question, she'd have never let Harry do this alone, she belonged next to him as he belonged here trying to save his parents lives, whatever that may look like, they both knew that.
He thought then, as Hermione reached for a toffee apple; a rare sugary indulgence for her as he reached for more treacle tart, if it came down to Hermione or his parents? As so often sacrifices, choices needed to be made in wartime, who would he choose? It was a silly hypothetical that had popped into his head, but one his mind answered for him immediately.
He didn't even have to think about it.
Not for a second.
And then, on that normal Halloween night, no trolls, no basilisks, no danger at all, the Marauders suggesting setting off the fireworks now whilst Hermione hissed they couldn't do that, Harry realised something so equally earth shattering and like he should have realised it a while ago, perhaps back to that moment in their dingy little tent, spinning and laughing to the radio the weight off of their shoulders for a small amount of time, that it near shook him to his core, as he turned to his best friend, scraping some of the excess toffee off her fruit with a grimace and seemingly readying herself to lecture a grinning Sirius, he realised …
He didn't have to think about it, who he'd save, above everyone else, anyone else, who he cared for above everyone and everything, and had for a while.
Who he… who he lov…
The whizz of a firework and what sounded like a squark from Hermione told him who had won the argument, and as a catherine wheel went spinning past and the collective school ducked under the feast ables, Harry was having his own fireworks, in his head, splitting off into a million thoughts about Hermione, about his best friend, about who he …
Loved.
Who he loved.
"What?" Hermione asked, clutching the book she'd bought down to the feast with her over her head, huddled next to him, as he realised he'd been staring at her, "What is it?"
"Nothing" He said hurriedly, and he was thankful as a rocket boomed past distracting Hermione (especially as James roared with laughter, and Hermione braved jumping up to scream at him) for usually she'd know he was lying, for it wasn't nothing, how he felt, how he realised what he felt.
It wasn't nothing, at all.
me: oh this will be a cute quick fluffy chapter!
me: oh this is the perfect place for an earth shattering revelation on harrys part!
yup
so harry knows, what about hermione? we shall see, though first ... lets just say somethings coming up next chapter that might take precedence
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