Estimated Reading Time: 24 Minute

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Boyz Chillin

The boys except Lucas looked at the phone in excitement. They were able to hear the girls loud and clear from the app.

[- Mikeboom

App

Samus: "Welcome in everyone~"

F. Robin: "Wow, Samus, your place is nice."

Bayonetta: "Yes, what a delight~"

Tina: "Ayye nice crib."

…

Ness: "Tina?!"

Toon Link gently slapped Ness's shoulder.

Toon: "Oi, shut up, Mate."

[- Mikeboom

App

Peach: "Lovely place, Samus."

Daisy: "Is there any food?"

Samus: "Yes, I ordered pizza. It's right over there."

Daisy: "WHOO!"

…

Sonic: "I want pizza…"

Popo: "I can order some."

Toon: "Shhh!"

Lucas: ["Please do. I'm hungry."]

Popo took out his phone and opened Smash Hut. He ordered pepperoni for everyone.

Ness: "Thanks, Popo."

Sonic: "Yeah! Thanks!"

Lucas: ["Thank you."]

Toon: "Thanks, Mate."

Popo: "No prob, Broskiis."

[- Mikeboom

App

Samus: "Wow, guys, thanks for coming over. I didn't think anybody would."

Peach: "I've been dealing with a lot of boy problems. I needed a girl's night."

Samus: "Oh my god! Me too."

F. Robin: "Omg we should all talk about boys."

Bayonetta: "I'm down to listen to some tea."

Tina: "Hell yeah!"

Samus: "Can I vent?"

Bayonetta: "Yes, dear."

Peach: "I would like to vent too."

R. Robin: "We should all take turns venting."

Tina: "Who wants to go first?"

Bayonetta: "Since it's Samus's party, I think she should have the honor."

Tina: "I agree."

Daisy: *Continues to monch on pizza*

Knock!

Knock!

Samus: "The door is open. Come in."

Leaf: "Hey am I late?"

…

Ness: "Leaf?!"

Toon: "Shhh!"

Sonic: "Uh, Ness, you good?"

Ness: "Y-yeah, yeah. I just… Didn't expect Leaf to be there is all."

Sonic: "Ok? Why do you care?"

Ness: "She's my co-worker."

Popo: "Oh shit! Do you like her?"

Ness: "No."

Sonic: "I dunno man you seem-

Toon: "Guys, they're about to get the juicy part. Shut up!"

[- Mikeboom

App

Samus: "Hi, Leaf. Glad you could make it."

Leaf: "Yeah, I uh, wanted to make new friends."

Bayonetta: "This is the perfect place, darling."

Leaf: "D-darling?"

Daisy: "We were just about to talk about boyyys."

Leaf: "Boys?"

Tina: "Ya dude."

Leaf: "Oh hi, Tina."

Tina: "Sup, girlie~"

Samus: "Yep, if it's ok with you Leaf, I wanted to vent out my frustrations."

Leaf: "I don't mind at all."

Samus: "So Sonic talked to me today."

F. Robin: "Whaaaat."

Bayonetta: "Is this the first time since the calamity?"

Samus: "Yeah…"

Peach: "That's horrible."

F. Robin: "What a piece of shit!"

Tina: "Wait, Sonic? Like the hedgehog Sonic?"

Samus: "Yes, him."

Tina: "Oh…"

Samus: "We chatted and I asked him about us."

Peach: "What did he say?"

Samus: "I asked if we were still a thing since technically I never broke up with him. I broke up with his clone. He said yeah."

Bayonetta: "Just 'yeah'?"

Samus: "Mhm."

Tina: "Yikes…"

Peach: "It doesn't sound like he was passionate."

Samus: "I don't think so either. He kept looking around my room which was odd."

Daisy: "Weirdo."

Samus: "I'm so confused. Does he still have feelings for me? He was getting better at one point, but he seems to be acting like how he used to."

Bayonetta: "Elaborate."

Samus: "He's aloof."

Leaf: "He could still have feelings for you, but he was in a cave for a long time. He's probably traumatized."

Samus: "You think?"

Tina: "Leaf does make a good point."

Peach: "I know I would be."

Samus: *Sighs* "You're probably right. I might be overthinking it."

Leaf: "Give it time."

F. Robin: "Well I don't trust him. He always seemed like a fuckboy, but honestly that kinda makes him hot."

Tina: "Facts."

Leaf: "What?"

Samus: "I… I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I really like him even though we've been dating for a few months. He and I click ya know."

Peach: "How so?"

Samus: "We both love adventure, running, fighting, and we have the same sense of justice."

Bayonetta: "I'm curious about something."

Samus: "What's that?"

Bayonetta: "How was the sex?"

Tina: "Damn, Bayo, startin' off strong."

Samus: "It was amazing. He's the only guy to ever get me to fold."

F. Robin: "Was he better than Little Mac?"

Samus: "Absolutely. Without a doubt."

Tina: "Damn."

Daisy: "I mean Little Mac looks like he doesn't know how to use it."

Samus: "He's… Alright."

Tina: "Did he have a big cock?"

Samus: "Who?"

Tina: "Little Mac."

Samus: "Yeah, honestly. The biggest I've ever seen, but like Daisy said earlier, he didn't know how to use it. Also, he's not that attractive so… The sex was meh."

Tina: "Oof."

Peach: "Are you feeling a little better?"

Samus: "Honestly yeah. I liked Leaf's answer. Sonic has definitely dealt with a lot and I didn't take that into account."

Leaf: "Glad I could help."

…

Sonic felt bad. Leaf was dead wrong. He's not traumatized from being in the cave. He's Sonic! He's too cool to be traumatized over a silly little thing like that. He's been through worse shit and is perfectly fine.

Sonic also didn't care much for Samus anymore, but a part of him felt guilty when she started listing off their synergy. They both did like to do those stuff together. She's a cool girl and all, and the sex was awesome, but what the girls don't know is that Samus is a bit of a control freak and he's all about freedom and exploring.

Popo: "Damn, Sonic, you're still datin' her?"

Sonic: "Hell no!"

Lucas: "It kinda sounds like she thinks you two are."

Sonic: "I just kinda agreed to whatever she was talkin' about. I was half paying attention."

Ness: "Sonic, you're an asshole."

Sonic: "You are what you eat."

Popo: "Daaaaamn! Nice one man!"

Ness: "Eww."

Sonic: "It's something you wouldn't know, Ness."

Ness: "What're you talking about?"

Toon: "He's sayin' you're a virgin."

Sonic: "Thank you."

Ness: "Whatever."

Sonic: "Ya can't get some even if you tried."

Ness: "That's not true."

Sonic: "I would bet money that you can't get laid by the end of this year."

Ness: "Shut up!"

Sonic: "Make me, Cheddar Biscuit~" *Sticks tongue out*

Lucas: *Snickers*

Ness: "Why you-

Toon: "Shhh! I wanna hear the girls."

Ness: ["This isn't over."]

Sonic: "Ha ha."

[- Mikeboom

App

Samus: "Well did anyone else wanna vent?"

Peach: "I did a little."

Bayonetta: "The floor is yours, cutiepie."

Peach: "As you guys know, Mario and I split up. He's been confused and heartbroken and it hurts me."

F. Robin: "Fuck that guy! He literally tried to take over the world."

Samus: "Robin!"

F. Robin: "What. It's true."

Samus: "You're right, but that's insensitive."

Peach: "It's ok. I understand."

Bayonetta: "Please, dear, continue."

Peach: "The problem is I'm still in love with him."

F. Robin: "Eww, why?"

Samus: "Robin!"

F. Robin: "Sorry, sorry. I don't know how to keep my mouth shut."

Samus: "Clearly."

Peach: "He's just so charming. He's so manly and always risks his life to save me. It's nice to know I'm cared for."

Bayonetta: "I'd say you gotta be more independent, girl. You're strong. You can save yourself."

Peach: "I know, but it's the thought that counts. He'll do anything to protect his princess."

Leaf: "Aww, that's sweet."

Tina: "I don't get it, but to each their own."

Peach: "I know. I'm traditional."

Leaf: "There's nothing wrong with that. I'm also traditional. I would want to be cared for too."

Daisy: "Me too! I wish Luigi was man enough to do the same for me."

Tina: "He's not?"

Daisy: "No! He's a coward. I'm so glad I dumped his ass."

F. Robin: "Good for you, girl."

Leaf: "Wait, what!"

Daisy: "Yeah, I dumped him."

Tina: "What happened?"

Daisy: "He's a pussy! No need for explanation."

Tina: "Damn."

Peach: "I'm so sorry, Daisy."

Daisy: "It's fine. I don't give a fuck about him."

Peach: "Are you sure? You used to tell me how much you loved him. Weren't you planning on marriage?"

Daisy: "Nope. I'm over it."

Bayonetta: "Babe, it sounds like you're not over it."

Daisy: "I am! Can we stop talking about this? I wanna rate men."

F. Robin: "Omg so do I."

Samus: "That does sound like fun, but I wanted Peach to vent first."

Peach: "I just… I don't know what to do. I wanna get back with him, but I know it's not a good idea."

Bayonetta: "Explore yourself."

Peach: "Like get with another guy?"

Bayonetta: "Yes, experiment."

Peach: "I dunno. It doesn't sound like me."

F. Robin: "Don't knock it til you try it."

Peach: "Maybe you girls are right."

Tina: "If you were to go after another guy, who?"

Peach: "Hmm, I want someone who's heroic and manly."

Leaf: "Like Ryu?"

Peach: "Yeah! Someone like Ryu."

F. Robin: "You got weird taste."

Peach: "What do you mean?"

F. Robin: "Ryu's ugly."

Peach: "I don't think so. He's quite the man."

Leaf: "He is a little rough looking."

Daisy: "Wait, are we rating guys now?"

Samus: "Peach, did you want to add anything before we move on?"

Peach: "No, I think Bayo might be onto something. I'm still a little iffy about it, but I'll give it some thought."

Bayonetta: "Glad I could help, dear."

Daisy: "WHOO! LET'S RATE BOYS!"

…

Knock!

Knock!

The boys got surprised and looked over at the door.

Popo: "Oh shit! That must be the pizza."

Sonic: "Hurry up! They're about to rate the guys."

Popo opened the door.

?: "I just need you to sign here."

Popo: "MEGS!"

Megaman: "Oh god, it's you."

Popo gave Megaman a squeeze.

Megaman: "Get off of me."

Popo: "Wanna hang out with us? We're listening to the girl's conversation."

Megaman: "What?"

Popo: "Yeah duuude. Come in!"

Megaman: "I'm working, so no thanks."

Popo: "Ditch work! You don't need a job. We don't pay rent. Haaahaaa."

Megaman: "I like my job."

Popo: "Why?"

Megaman: "It gives me a purpose."

Popo: "Bro, just being here in the mansion is purpose enough."

Megaman: "It's a no."

With that Megaman placed the pizza on the floor and left. Popo picked it up and smiled as he smelled it.

Popo: "Pizzzaa."

He placed the boxes on his coffee table and the boys dug in.

Lucas: "Mmm~"

Sonic: "Not as good as a chili dog, but still fire."

Toon: "I'm in heaven."

Ness: "It's quite delectable."

Popo: "Wha?"

Ness: "It's delicious."

Popo: "I know right! Anyway, did I miss anything?"

Toon: "Nope. They've only mentioned men who aren't us."

Popo: "Damn."

[- Mikeboom

App

Samus: "He is pretty cute."

F. Robin: "Riiiight!"

Samus: "Ok, hold on. I wanna know your guys's top three."

Tina: "Top three hottest guys?"

Samus: "Yes number one would be your absolute fav."

Leaf: "Are we just talking about looks or personality too?"

Samus: "Looks."

Tina: "Oooh~ Spicy."

Leaf: "I dunno. I don't really judge people by their looks."

Bayonetta: "Allow yourself to be shallow, girl. Trust me, it's fun."

F. Robin: "Yeah, it's not like anyone else is listening to this conversation. It's a safe space."

Daisy: "We're all girls here."

Leaf: "I dunno…"

Tina: "We won't judge."

Peach: "The boys do it to us all the time."

Leaf: "True…"

Samus: "It'll be fuuun!"

Leaf: "Ok, ok! Fine." *Giggles*

Samus: "Who wants to start?"

Bayonetta: "Let's go clockwise."

Tina: "Damn, I'm last haha!"

…

The boys went completely silent. They were all curious (except Lucas) as to who the girls were going to pick as their top three.

[- Mikeboom

App

Samus: "I guess this means I go first."

F. Robin: "Lemme guess, Sonic is number one ain't he?"

Samus: "Y-yeah."

F. Robin: "Knew it."

Peach: "Who's two and three?"

Samus: "Don't judge me ok."

F. Robin: "No promises~"

Tina: "Bruh."

F. Robin: "Kidding!"

Samus: "The second hottest is guy Captain Falcon."

Tina: "He is pretty hot."

Leaf: "Really?"

Tina: "Ya dude."

Leaf: "He's not my type."

F. Robin: "Saaame girl."

Bayonetta: "Not mine either."

Peach: "That surprises me, Bayo."

Bayonetta: "You'll find out what my type is pretty soon."

Daisy: "I think he's hot."

Peach: "Same."

Samus: "The third hottest is Fox."

Daisy: "Eww."

Samus: "What?"

Bayonetta: "Into furries, huh? I like it."

Samus: *Blushes*

Tina: "Ain't nothin' wrong with that."

Samus: *Nervously chuckles*

Daisy: "It's my turn!"

Leaf: "Go for it, Daisy!"

Daisy: "My number one was Luigi, but obviously not anymore. So now it's Snake, then Cloud, and last but not least Terry."

F. Robin: "I agree with Cloud, but the rest is a no for me."

Daisy: "I like em manly."

F. Robin: "But their muscles are like gross."

Leaf: "Yeaaah kinda."

Tina: "Don't worry, Daise, I think they're cool."

Daisy: "They're not just cool. They're hot!"

Peach: "Guess, I'm next."

F. Robin: "Lemme guess, Mario is your favorite."

Peach: "Yeaaah."

Samus: "I mean she's still in love. Of course Mario is number one. But besides Mario, who else would you pick?"

Peach: "If Mario isn't in the picture, hmm. I think my list is Link, Ryu, and Bowser."

F. Robin: "BOWSER?!"

Bayonetta: "That doesn't surprise me actually."

Tina: "Yeah, I can see it."

Leaf: "Whoa, I thought Link would be too twinky for you."

Peach: "He's pretty buff. He's not a total twink and he has a cute face. I like buff and cute."

F. Robin: "Mario isn't buff."

Peach: "Well I also like a bit of pudge."

Tina: "Wait, Ike or Radiant Ike?"

Peach: "Hmm, I think Radiant Ike if we're going by looks and body."

Bayonetta: "He is a little buffer."

Leaf: "Who's next?"

F. Robin: "My turn~!"

Daisy: "Finally it's you. You've been talking trash about our taste. But now I get to talk trash about yours."

F. Robin: "I have the best taste thank you very much."

Peach: "I'm so curious~"

F. Robin: "First one is who I think is hottest right? Nothing to do with personality?"

Samus: "Correct."

F. Robin: "It's Ness."

…

Ness: "W-what!" *Blushes*

Popo: "Daaaamn."

Toon: "Holy shit, Mate!"

Sonic: "Wow, a girl actually mentioned you. She must have brain damage."

Ness: "Fuck off."

Sonic: "Hahaha!"

[- Mikeboom

App

Leaf: "What!"

Tina: "Ayyye."

Daisy: "The fucking twink?"

Peach: "He's pretty charming, but not my type."

Bayonetta: *Chuckles*

F. Robin: "He's hot."

Daisy: "You like men who aren't real men."

F. Robin: "He's a pretty boy. What can I say, I'm into that. Oh I should keep going. So my second favorite is Link and then Sonic."

Tina: "Nice."

Daisy: "Eww, all girly boys."

Bayonetta: "Don't worry girl. I'm on your side."

F. Robin: "Back me up, Bayo. You're next."

Bayonetta: "Hmm, I think my favorite has got to be that cute adorable angel boy."

Leaf: "Pit or Dark Pit?"

Bayonetta: "The pathetic one."

Everyone: "Pit."

Peach: "Why?"

Bayonetta: "I like the ones that have a cute feminine face that folds easily."

F. Robin: "See! I ain't the only one."

Tina: "I mean most girls nowadays are into that."

Leaf: "New beauty standard. Buff rough men aren't hot anymore."

Peach: "I beg to differ."

Samus: "Yeah same!"

Leaf: "I dunno Sonic gives me pretty boy vibes."

Samus: "Sonic is different."

F. Robin: "Face it. He's a pretty boy."

Leaf: "Speaking of pretty boys, Bayo, please continue."

Bayonetta: "My second favorite is that cute shy blonde, Lucas."

Samus: "Seriously?!"

Bayonetta: "He's so adorable. I just wanna dom him in bed and force him to call me mommy."

…

Lucas: "W-what!"

Ness: "What the fuck!"

Popo: "Damn, Bayo."

Toon: "I wish she would step on me."

Sonic: "So Bayo's into twinks."

Lucas: "I'm not a twink."

Sonic: "Yes you are, Lucas."

Lucas: "What! I-

Toon: "Shhh!"

[- Mikeboom

App

Leaf: "I think he has mommy issues."

Bayonetta: "I know. That makes me want him more~"

Leaf: "Holy… Shit."

Tina: "A fellow dom. I respect that."

Daisy: "Bayo, you're crazy."

Bayonetta: "Oh I'm all sorts of messed up, honey."

Samus: "I'm afraid to know who's going to be your third."

Bayonetta: "My third, huh? I want you girls to guess."

Leaf: "Well you're into twinks, so is it Marth?"

Bayonetta: "Nope."

Samus: "Male Robin?"

Bayonetta: "No."

Tina: "Shulk?"

Bayonetta: "Negative."

F. Robin: "Giiirl you're like me. It's gotta be Ness."

Bayonetta: "Bingo."

…

Ness: "S-seriously!"

Popo: "Holy shit!"

Toon: "Damn, Mate, you're pretty up there."

Sonic: "Haha! Twink."

Ness: "No I'm not!"

Popo: "You kinda are." *Takes a hit*

Ness: "I'm built. I just wear a lot of layers, so you guys can't tell."

Sonic: "Oh yeah? Then let us see it."

All the boys gave Sonic a look.

Sonic: "No homo of course."

Ness: "And you call me the gay one."

Sonic: "You are."

Ness: "No I'm-

[- Mikeboom

App

Leaf: "N-Ness?!"

F. Robin: "Yeah dude, he's hot."

Leaf: ["I guess…"]

Bayonetta: "You got a crush on him, sweetheart?"

Leaf: "N-no! It's not like that."

Tina: "You're totally blushing."

Peach: "Aww, how cute."

Leaf: "It's not what you guys think!"

…

Popo: "Oooh~ Looks like a girl has a crush on ya."

Ness: "..."

Ness looked down on the floor and blushed.

Toon: "Damn, you're blushin' too."

Ness: "No, I'm not! I'm just… Ya know, shocked that I was mentioned at all."

Sonic: "I dunno why anyone would go after Cheddar Biscuit over here. He's a mess, but to each their own."

Ness: "Thanks, Sonic. You make me feel so loved."

Sonic: "That's what I'm here for~" *Winks*

Toon: "So wait, you and Leaf have been hangin' out together, yeah?"

Ness: "I mean a little."

Everyone except Lucas and Ness: "OOOOOH~"

Ness: "S-shut up! We're just friends."

Popo: "That's what they all say."

Ness: "We don't like each other like that!"

Popo: "Why so defensive?"

Ness: "I'm not being defensive."

Sonic: "Guys, Ness is right. They're just friends."

Ness: "Wow, gee Sonic, I didn't expect you to-

Sonic: "Because he's totally dating Lucas."

Lucas: "W-what!" *Blushes*

Ness: "NO!"

Sonic: "Hahaha!"

Popo: "They did get on top of each other earlier."

Sonic: "And stared at each other's eyes."

Ness: "You caused me to fucking fall!"

Toon: "Wait, guys, shhh, the girls are moving onto Leaf now."

Sonic: "I'm sure Ness can't wait to hear her answer."

Ness: "Shut up."

Sonic stuck his tongue out and winked.

Ness: "I-

Toon: "Shhh!"

Ness: "But-

Toon: "SHHH!"

Ness glared at Sonic who smirked right back.

[- Mikeboom

App

Samus: "Looks like the only girls left are Leaf and Tina."

Daisy: "Leaf it's your turn next!"

Peach: "I can't wait to hear your answer."

F. Robin: "I bet she also has a thing for Ness."

Leaf: "Uh…"

Bayonetta: "Don't mind them, cutie. They're just teasing."

Tina: "Say what's in your heart."

Leaf: "M-my number one…"

Samus: "No judgement here, right Robin?"

F. Robin: "Why are you pointing me out in particular?"

Samus: "You're the one that's been judgin'."

F. Robin: "I won't judge. I promise."

Daisy: "I might."

Samus: "Daisy!"

Daisy: "I'm kidding! [mostly."]

Leaf: "Um, ok, well if I have to choose then my number one is probably Robin."

F. Robin: "I'm flattered~"

Daisy: "Obviously it's the male Robin."

F. Robin: "I know, dumbass! I was just messing around."

Daisy: *Scoffs*

Peach: "She didn't mean it, Daisy. Robin likes to tease."

Bayonetta: "I cannot deny, Robin is a cutie."

Leaf: "Y-yeah."

Tina: "Who's number two?"

Leaf: "Uh… Pit."

Bayonetta: "A woman with culture I see."

Daisy: "What's up with you girls and loving on the twinks?"

Samus: "Hey! No judging!"

Leaf: "Then my third is Corrin."

Tina: "Nice!"

F. Robin: "You're really into them fire emblem boys aren't ya?"

Leaf: "S-something like that."

…

Popo: "Damn, I really thought she was gonna mention you, Ness."

Ness: "I told you. We only like each other as friends."

Toon: "So you're not into her?"

Ness: "No."

Sonic: "Are you into any girl?"

Ness: "Right now?"

Sonic: "At all."

Ness: "Yes, I'm into girls!"

Sonic: "Mhm suuure."

Ness: "I feel like you want me to be gay."

Sonic: "No, I just know when someone's in the closet."

Ness: "I'm not gay!"

Sonic: "Tell that to your por-

Ness: "Shut up! Shut. Up."

Popo: "To his what?"

Ness: "It's nothing!"

Lucas: "Wait, what?"

Sonic: "His-

Ness: "Shut up. Let's listen in on the girls ok!"

Sonic: "Eager aren't we?"

Ness: "I-I… *Sighs* Sure."

Sonic: "Hahaha! Perv."

Ness: *Growls*

[- Mikeboom

App

Leaf: "Yep those are my top three."

F. Robin: "Don't know why, but I was expecting Ness."

Leaf: "Why?"

F. Robin: "He looks like a Pokemon Trainer plus he's objectively hot."

Bayonetta: "I can agree to that."

Peach: "He's cute, but too girly."

Daisy: "I don't think he's all that at all."

Samus: "He's not ugly, but not my type."

Leaf: "Yeah, he's ok."

Tina: "Damn."

Samus: "Oh! Tina it's your turn. You're the last girl. I'm excited to hear your list."

F. Robin: "Tina seems like a wild card."

Bayonetta: "I'm eager to hear your response."

Tina: "Oh shit, yeah it's my turn."

Samus: "Who's your number one?"

Tina: "The hottest guy in my opinion is-