Chapter 35:

"Shadow."

My remaining few days at home were spent with my family and in planned and unplanned meetings with people I knew. I found I was much more composed after having the time to process and get the shock of what I'd been told by Luca out of my system. It still crept up on me, especially at night. I swear I hadn't slept at all ever since I got here, but somehow, I was still powering through.

Being back in my hometown put me through a weird realization. While I was away, life went on. Everyone was going on with their everyday routines, and I wasn't there to see it all. Katie was growing, so fast it was alarming to me. My mother was changing too; the deep-set sadness that had taken over her features after my dad's untimely death was fading ever so gradually.

Even Mr. Domoto, my trusty next-door neighbor was on his way to becoming a father. I felt strangely emotional as I sat over at his place, seeing him there all lovey-dovey with his beautiful pregnant wife. I couldn't think of someone who deserved this more.

The discussion had been very standard and on the surface until Asami went to check on something in the kitchen.

"So, how's that boyfriend of yours?" Mr. Domoto asked in a painfully bad attempt at being nonchalant.

I sighed, taking a sip from the soda in my hand. "I swear all you guys want to know about is Killua. It's like he was some mythical creature and asking me about him will serve as confirmation that he was real at some point in time."

This was, in fact, a true story. Not just my mother and grandmother, but timid old Mrs. Henderson from across the street had also stopped me the other day to ask about him. I swear he had one micro-interaction with her where he helped her get her groceries out of her car. Listen, I understood that the guy left an impression, but this was ridiculous.

"Well, I have to ask, I need to know if he's treating you right," Mr. Domoto offered, again failing to put across the tone he was going for.

"That's not why you're asking you old gossip queen," I pushed in a deadpan voice and a matching expression.

"Okay, I need to know how he's doing the impossible of keeping both you and his will to live."

"I hope your kid doesn't inherit that sad sense of humor, he's going to get beat up in school so bad," I countered with an eye roll.

He laughed at that, the twinkle of excitement in his eyes was contagious. "He's going to be alright, as long as he inherits his mom's good looks."

I raised my soda in a toast. "Let's hope that's the case, that might be his only saving grace."

But I was only kidding really, that kid had some pretty good parents. This also got me thinking about what a special time this was for him and his wife, and how my parents only ever got a small window of that time with each other. Now all my mother had was memories, I wondered how she braved through all that.

It was these thoughts and more that prompted me to ask her that day at lunch, "Do you ever think you'll date again?"

My mom was in the middle of sipping her drink; my unexpected question had a spray of water coming out of her. That reaction pleased Katie, who was sitting in her high chair right next to her. "W-what?"

"I mean it's been over a year since dad," I mentioned, trying to sound mature about it. I won't lie, it was hard.

"Well…" she began tentatively, "I've thought… maybe sometimes… maybe a little."

I focused on swallowing for a minute, not sure what I could say to that without sounding like a brat. "Well, if you ever think about it a little more, just know that I'm more than okay with it."

My mom looked both surprised and touched. "That's so sweet, Claire," she appreciated, looking like she was fighting back a wave of emotion, "I don't know where I am with that just yet."

That answer was more than okay with me. I was aware I was taking credit for an idea that Killua had put in front of me in the first place. But I thought I deserved some appreciation for how big I was being on all this, even if some plagiarism was at the back of it.

After helping my mom clear the dishes, I sat with Katie trying to pinpoint all the ways she looked different since the last time I saw her. I was in the middle of this inspection when my phone started going off with a FaceTime from Killua.

I had Katie on my lap and angled the phone camera to her when I swiped right on the video chat.

"Well, hello there," Killua mused, looking at the tiny unexpected subject before him.

She babbled an incoherent response to his greeting, reaching out to try to grab him from across the screen. I snuck closer to her to get into the frame.

"Ah, my two favorite ladies," he announced, following it up by saying, "…and Claire."

I rolled my eyes, realizing my mom was momentarily in the shot from where she was in the background. "Are you done?"

"Just getting started actually." His teasing smirk sent a pang of feeling through me. "Hey, Hana," he called fondly, but I was the one his gaze was taking in.

"Hi, honey." Came my mom's response as she walked over to the laundry room. "Having a good trip?" She asked loudly from a distance.

"Yeah, everything's great," he reciprocated quickly, while his astute eyes turned to me for examination. "Why do you look tired?" My guess was correct, sometimes I debated whether his eyes had actual scanners fitted in them. With his creepy assassin past, I couldn't rule that out completely either.

"Uh… I'm not used to my old bed anymore, the sleep's been uncomfortable," I covered lamely, but he looked like he bought it.

"Well, you'll be in your bed tomorrow. I actually wanted to check if you're all sorted out for your flight?"

"Yes, Killua. It's a local flight, I'm not going to end up on the other side of the world."

"It's you, let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet."

"Your trust in my ability to survive is refreshing," I congratulated him, but in the meanwhile Katie had felt personally offended by the lack of attention. She unleashed a very loud wail, her hands flying all over the place.

That's when Gon pushed his way into the frame, squishing Killua's face to a side. "Is that Katie?"

Katie responded with an incoherent sound that probably conveyed her joy. The one thing that really surprised me was how she was so little and could detect things moving on a screen like she did.

Gon and Killua kept pushing each other in and out of view until they resembled a pretzel of some sort. "I hope you're getting on his nerves right," I said to Gon, who grinned in the affirmative.

"Oh, this asshole's been eating from the minifridge ever since we got here," Killua informed, side-eyeing the subject of his conversation, "I don't even want to look at the bill when it comes."

I bit back a smile. "He's probably just doing that to keep you in the room and away from that slot machine addiction you have."

"I don't have a slot machine addiction," Killua denied, looking very much like he was about to unleash one of his unsolicited lectures on luck and estimations.

"Shut up, Killua," Gon and I said in unison before that could happen.

Once Gon had his fill of the tiny human in my lap, he took his face out of the equation.

But Katie was still quite happy seeing just Killua on the screen, the gaga eyes she was making at him were more than proof of that. "Safe to say she's still obsessed with you," I reported, raising the phone a little above her reach before it had her spit all over it.

"Oh, I never questioned that for a moment, that's a smart baby," he declared smugly.

"In related news, everyone in town is also apparently obsessed with you," I recalled slightly annoyed, "I'd come home loaded if I was given Jenny for every time someone asked about you."

"That's not news to me Claire," he brushed off with an exaggerated wave. "Although, in their defense, I am pretty easy to obsess over."

"Hm, that seems to be the general consensus around here. Everything okay with your trip?" I asked, making implied air quotations around the last word.

"Yes." He looked pleased, but I guessed whatever the progress was he intended to tell me face to face. "I'll tell you the details later, but there is one thing I can share."

I looked around to see my mom darting in and out of the room with the laundry hamper. "What?"

"My training is officially over," he announced, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive way.

I didn't need to look at my face in the video chat to be able to tell that a violent blush had crept up. "That's good," I mumbled, feeling self-conscious for no reason at all. "See you tomorrow?" I said before I melted into a puddle right before him.

"You bet," he agreed with a giant grin. "Bye, Hana!" He called, now that my mom was in the background again.

"Bye, honey! Love you!" My mom proclaimed, probably loud enough for a couple of houses over to hear.

But that wasn't the matter of note here. At her declaration, Killua had reflexively said the words "Me too." It was a second later that his eyes widened at the realization of what had just happened.

I clamped a hand to my mouth to keep myself from bursting into hysterical laughter. He was quick to end the call after that. Killua Zoldyck had just become the guy who said I love you back to his girlfriend's mother before he could say it to her. This was pure gold.

I made an impromptu trip to the mall that evening. I wanted to get my hands on a pair of boots I'd been eyeing for a while. Unfortunately, the price tag was a bit too steep for me then and I realized had to wait for a sale before I could get my hands on them. I decided to head to the food court to cheer myself up after my unfruitful attempt.

I was about to bite into a glorious Italian sub, when the sound of my name in a painful high-pitched rendition startled me. "Claire!"

Naomi, my former high-school nemesis turned frenemy, stood right next to me with an abundance of shopping bags in her hand. She dropped those at her feet as she jumped me in an unprompted hug.

"I thought you were off to college!" She shrieked like this was the most unexplainable and exciting sighting since the Mothman.

"I was just here for the weekend," I explained, trying to look comfortable with the awkward embrace, "I'm actually leaving tomorrow."

"Oh, well then it's so great I caught you just now! We have to catch up." She sat herself down, uninvited, at the seat to my left and launched into unnecessary details about her own life and a series of semi and fully invasive questions about mine.

I really only started paying attention when, soon enough, Killua had become a topic of conversation. I realized that maybe I should make a drinking game out of that.

"Uh… yes, still together," I confirmed, though her question didn't sound malicious at all. This was something, considering that she'd slept with him. I was glad I could say with honesty that I was over that.

"As I predicted," she announced smugly, "imagine getting rid of that guy."

I considered that; she had a point. "Well, he could get rid of me," I said intending for it to sound like a joke, but let's face it, this was a fear I had.

"Are you kidding me?" She countered immediately, her hands in passionate movements. "That guy was pining for you ever since he got here."

Her words had me thinking, maybe there was something I could get out of this interaction. Naomi had always been exceptionally beautiful, but I always suspected it was her unabashed confidence that had her get her way with every guy.

I remember it was just the other day that I was sulking about how I had never made the right kind of effort in creating or maintaining any female friendships. Here was a good opportunity and I wasn't really contributing. "Naomi, can I ask you something?" I experimented, trying not to sound too lame.

"Sure!" She was passing a hand through her glorious auburn hair; it looked like she had been called in for a shoot. This was the kind of stuff I wanted to know about, where did one get that kind of tact?

"Have you ever made the first move with a guy?" I interrogated, holding back the compulsion to cringe from embarrassment.

She looked surprised. "Of course, Claire. With some guys, that's what turns them on," she revealed, sounding all business, "in fact, I think every guy wants that from time to time."

My line of thought had gone here because I was a bit frustrated about how Killua always had the keys to determining the boundaries and the if's and when's of our physical relationship. I never got a say or maybe I was just so shy about it, he never factored in my opinion on the matter.

"Claire, listen. You're easy on the eyes and you've got a smoking hot body," she declared, gesturing at the entirety of my physique. "Use it." Her strange piece of advice told me she had caught on quite well considering the extremely limited nature of what I'd given her.

"Show some skin," she continued and my boring jeans and t-shirt suddenly looked like absolute rags to my eyes. "Say what you want and need." And then she went on to tell me some things I should do that were not suitable at all for delicate ears. I was sure I was tomato red by the time she was done.

"It always works, on any guy, I swear," she confirmed like it was some ancient recipe passed on from her grandma.

Regardless of the very crude turn our conversation had taken, I more than enjoyed it. Which was why I really meant it when I said, "Let's keep in touch."

She gave me a glowing smile at that and we parted ways with a promise to meet up whenever I was in town again.

My trip back home had been almost soulful. Having the chance to take it all in from a newer angle, had given me an appreciation for everything that I had left behind. Which was why I decided to recreate my dated ritual of walking through the town park in the first few weeks of fall, the morning I was due to leave.

I realized that nothing could have helped me get through Luca's confession quite like being back where things had gotten better for me. Seated on that damp bench, I could almost imagine that nothing was amiss. Nothing had ever gone wrong, not before, not now. I could almost even feel like my dad was sitting there right next to me.

These were the peaceful thoughts I was marinating in at the moment; which is why you can imagine why I had the living daylights startled out of me on registering the figure on the bench next to mine.

"Mr. Isawa!" I almost screamed, my hand flying over my heart.

The bulky bearded man just turned to me like this was the most natural sequence of events. "Miss Ajibana!" He greeted, looking pleased.

"Are you stalking me?" I asked, finding it impossible to assume that this was a coincidence.

He raised his eyebrows. "The town has a total of one park, let's not be paranoid here."

I huffed, trying to calm my body down.

"How's the young master Zoldyck?" he probed straight on. I noticed everyone else at least had the decency to make small talk before they got to this part. The Killua scoreboard in my mind added another point to itself.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," I responded, my teeth gritting at Killua's limitless fame.

"I live just around the corner as you know, if you're up for a cup of tea," he offered, looking so very ordinary in that moment.

"I don't think I'm allowed to be in any enclosed space with you," I declined, with no subtlety whatsoever.

"By who?"

"My sanity."

He burst out laughing at that. "How do you come up with these?" He wondered, dabbing at the tears that had materialized at the corner of his eyes.

I just stared back with a deadpan look. This wasn't even some of my best work.

"Well, if there's anything I could do for you, I'd be glad," he continued the offer in good humor.

I decided to challenge him on that. "Like what could you possibly do for me?"

He contemplated on that. "Hm, I don't know. I could keep your mother company, assistance. I could even end up as your stepfather."

I shuddered at his disgusting attempt at jesting. "Wow, I can't tell you how violently ill that makes me."

He laughed again, not even trying to hide his glee at the exchange. "Well, the universe does seem to have put us together, so there might be some point to this meeting."

Despite how unappealing his description sounded, it did have me thinking. "Okay, Mr. Isawa. Tell me this, how has hiding things from everyone around you turned out for you?" I was still struggling with the idea of coming clean to Killua. I needed to know what was on the other side.

My question was unexpected, he took a little time to really get me an answer. "Hm, do you want the long version or the short one?"

"Whichever." I shrugged.

"Okay. Well, if you must know, hiding things and living the kind of life I've lived… it makes one almost paranoid. You don't know who to trust or how to open up. I'm ashamed to admit this but, I've gotten so used to staying in my shell that I've lost all contact with my children."

That was news to me, I did not have any idea he had kids. "Do you regret it?"

"This probably sounds awful, but no." His hands were gripping the end of the bench tightly. "It's just not possible for me to be any other way. But here's what I can say; this life isn't for everyone. I'm not sure what context you're asking me this is, but if you're hiding something, trust me, it's lonely."

I liked to imagine the lump in my throat was unrelated to his revelation. "Well, good thing I don't trust you," I deflected, which got another chuckle out of him.

We split ways cordially, I told him I had to be at the airport in less than an hour. When I had said my goodbyes outside my flight gate, I received a text from Killua informing me that their flight had been canceled because of the weather. He had timed the whole thing so he would be getting there before me to greet me. This sucked.

I FaceTimed him since I had a little time before I had to board. "Do you have any idea how delayed you'll be?" I asked as soon as he was on the screen.

"Unfortunately, no. There's a storm expected, so they're saying it could be anywhere between ten to twenty-four hours until the next flight out." He looked like a sulking kid. I knew he hated the idea of me being alone in the city.

"Well, what're you gonna do," I reasoned with a shrug. "But uh, I have an important question, can you get Gon in the frame?"

"Yeah?" He asked concerned, as Gon stuck his face next to Killua's.

I began with the most serious tone I could manage. "I wanted to know, Killua, if I put a picture of my mom over my face, will you say you love me back?"

Gon howled with laughter at my excellent comedic delivery. I had him all caught up on Killua's little moment with my mom last night and we had plotted this for hours.

Killua looked mortified, he pushed Gon out of sight, not being able to do anything about me. "Hey, Killua," Gon called, pushing back in front of the camera, "genuine question, when you like a girl…. Is the correct sequence to say I love you to her first or her mom? I always get those two mixed up!"

I don't remember the last time I laughed so loud in my life. People around the gate were giving me dirty looks.

"You two are assholes," Killua seethed in the middle of Gon and his power struggle for the frame, only pausing to instruct me, "Text me when you land."

My flight back was just as uneventful as its predecessor. Although I have to admit, landing in the city without having Killua there felt weird.

Just as I got out of the cab with my luggage right in front of our apartment, I started getting this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't really tell what was prompting me to feel this way, but it was like I was being watched.

I stood there examining that feeling for a minute, before reasoning that the lack of sleep was getting to me. I had pinched my nose and downed two cups of coffee this morning just so I could make it back. I had a deep-seated fear of falling asleep on public transport and ending up in unplanned destinations.

I towed my bag to the elevator and up, stopping to unlock the door and then get in. The place felt off without the boys and I realized that this was maybe the very first time I had been here without either of them. It wouldn't be too far off to assume that Killua had planned it that way.

I cleaned myself off in detail and let the hot water from the shower in Killua's room address the knots in my back. I then snuck into Killua's wardrobe and pulled on the comfiest pair of sweats he had and a cozy shirt to go with it. The attire was loose on me but smelled of him so it worked for me.

Left to fend for myself, all I could do was fix a bowl of cereal. As I ate, I was hit again with that peculiar feeling of being watched. I stared out of the window to my right. The city stretched on with an unending assortment of godly buildings.

I went to the door just in case and double-checked the locks; it was getting dark now and I was feeling uneasy. A text from Killua telling me that their flight was still nowhere near being rescheduled did further damage to my resolve.

I filled the place with noise, turning on the TV and putting on one of my comfort cheesy movies that I had memorized by this point. I also grabbed my laptop and decided to check in for any schoolwork I had missed or any assignment that might have been due. Unfortunately, I was caught up on everything.

I called my mom and droned on about nothing in particular until she told me she had to go to bed. It was late now, almost one in the morning. So, I shut everything off and went to my room. I took half an hour more to unnecessarily blow dry my hair and then, when I felt some sleep overtake me, I snuck in my sheets.

There were three texts from Killua with further instructions. "Don't leave the house", followed by "Double-check the locks", and the last one, "Eat." Deciding I had done a decent job at all three, I put my phone down and shut my eyes. I didn't even realize how quickly I drifted off.

The dream was dark, a shadow tailing me when I stood in the middle of nowhere. I couldn't understand how that shadow was even visible in the dark. When I stopped moving, I would just feel it watch me. When I felt it advance on me, my eyelids parted open in shock, realizing it was just a making of my mind.

I was calming myself with that very thought when I noticed the dark silhouette standing in the corner of my room. I was frozen and absolutely terrified, which is why I have no idea how I was able to notice so many details to it— the long hair, the strange stance, contours of the body so feminine and masculine at the same time. Whoever this was, whatever this was, it was bad.

I screamed, jumping back to put as much distance as I could between me and it. I had no idea what or how I was going to get out of this, and was so paralyzed by fear, I was sure I wouldn't be able to move. When I looked back to the spot where I had first seen the shadow, it was gone. This didn't calm me down one bit, I suspected it had moved to some other part of the room or the apartment.

I was beside myself with fear, but even in that state, I knew that calling Killua wouldn't do anyone any good. There was no way he would be able to get here anytime soon. I was trembling with the realization that I was all alone here in this city, when the one person that could be here immediately popped into my mind.

I grabbed my phone from the table next to me and dialed my brother's number, knowing that my life depended on it. About three minutes later, a trapdoor materialized in my room, and he was walking out of it.

"Luca!" I wailed in relief as I threw myself in his arms.

"Claire, what's going on?" he asked looking extremely alarmed, embracing me protectively. Incoherent pleas were all I was able to manage on the phone call. "Are you okay?"

"Luca, I know this sounds crazy, I know this sounds insane, but I swear I just saw someone here in my room," I sputtered, trying to catch my breath, "it was, maybe it was a woman, I'm not sure— maybe she, it's still here, I have no idea where it went."

He was silent as he looked around and then gradually detached me from him to check the rest of the apartment. "Stay here."

I had my head in my hands when he came back, reporting that it was all clear. "Do you think I'm crazy?" I asked him right out. I needed to know. I was the most self-doubting person ever, but I knew what I saw wasn't made up. I knew because I felt it.

"No," he assured, sounding honest, "I've actually been suspecting something like this for a little bit."

My eyes popped open. "What do you mean?" I was whispering like we were in danger of being heard.

"There's a lot you need to know. Give me until tomorrow, I'll tell you everything," he promised, looking determined.

The timeline frustrated me, but I was more scared than anything else. "You're not leaving," I told him flat out. "There's no way I'm staying here alone. You'll stay on the couch," I decided with no input from him.

On his part, he was understanding about it. We were both still cautious, not mentioning the last conversation that had transpired between us.

"I have to tell Killua," I said, more to myself than anything, when his questioning eyes were on me, I explained, "my boyfriend."

"Could I—" he began, looking hesitant. "I'm sure it's not my place, but can I ask that you keep this to yourself for now?"

There it was, another secret nominating itself for my pile. "Luca, he lives here, it's not like I can hide something like this from him."

"I understand," he conceded, sitting there pensively on my couch, "but, all I ask is that you wait until tomorrow. Hear everything out and then decide. I'm sure it's no good worrying him with something like this when he's not here anyway."

That sounded reasonable enough so I agreed. "Thanks for showing up so quickly."

"Thanks for calling me," he responded, sounding both grateful and careful in his interaction with me.

The next morning, I was still running on no sleep. I wasn't sure what the limitations of human functioning without adequate or any sleep were. But I was sure I was beyond them, and it didn't help that I had forced another cup of very strong coffee down my throat.

Killua and Gon's arrival was now scheduled for tomorrow morning. I was unsettled, scared, and now dreading the new shocks of new information that my brother had for me. We were quick to be out of my apartment and on our way to his as soon as morning came.

I had no idea why we had to relocate in the first place just so he could tell me what the fuck was going on. But I was too tired and rattled to ask, I just wanted some answers at this point. The fact that I was being followed and my apartment had been broken into did an awful number on me.

I was also perplexed about how I would come clean about any of this to Killua. I had gotten myself into a mess. I was at a point where the web of lies that I had created had now trapped me. The thoughts of impending and unexplained dangers and Killua's reaction had me with a knot in my stomach.

"Claire, there's someone you need to meet," Luca said, standing outside the door of this apartment.

"Who?" I asked, feeling a hollow in my chest.

"I'll tell you in just a moment. The thing is Claire, I want you to know everything from the start, that's the only way you can understand why all of this is happening."

I was still stuck on the meeting someone statement. When he unlocked the door and walked in, I realized it took work to will my feet to follow him. There was so much going through my head, my brain practically on overload as I registered the disheveled man sitting casually on Luca's couch.

I had at least a hundred guesses as to who it was behind the door. I swear at one point, I was certain it would be my father— the mysterious and unknown figure that had loomed over our childhoods, always just out of reach.

Turns out I was only partially right. Because, yes, this was someone's father, I realized when the man looked up at me. The uncanny, undeniable, and staggering resemblance hit me so suddenly that I felt numb. This was someone's father alright— it was Gon's.

Author's note:

I don't think I've ever written any chapter this fast. But it was like this part of the plot was begging to get out of my brain. I really want to keep this streak going, so I'll try to keep updating as quickly as I can. But guys, this is where the plot gets fun and messy, I promise.