Chapter 13 – Confessions
Judy, her mind bursting to the brim, walked along the familiar lane leading back to Casterly. For a moment, a simple thought seemed to emerge as she turned along the road. "Has it been nearly two months since I've been away?" Unfazed by this thought, Judy quickly found herself along the gravel path leading to the grand house. Carrying her bags with her, dressed in travel attire, she made her way just short of the main house, where the drive curved for visiting vehicles to approach the front.
What was to happen next nobody would have thought possible. Though unseen by Judy as she walked by, Nick was found to be sitting on a patch of grass with his back pressed against one of two stone pillars that guarded each side of the drive. Waiting for his moment, he allowed Judy to walk unseen by her until she was a few paces away. "Well, if it's not the long-lost governess finally deciding to return home to us all," Nick spoke, remaining seated on the grass, not looking at her as he played with a few pieces of grass between his fingers.
Surprised by the sudden sound of his voice, Judy turned and froze at the sight of Nick seated on the ground. "Mr. Wilde, sir!" She spoke nervously, not expecting to run into him so soon upon returning. "I didn't see you there. I'm sorry."
Nick, raising a paw to stop her from speaking further, drew a deep breath before rising casually to his feet. As he did so, dressed in slacks and a shirt, he brushed himself off before picking up a light coat from the ground. "Obviously, by the look on your face." He shook the coat once before sliding an arm in and adjusting it on himself. He stood there momentarily, ensuring his coat sleeves were positioned correctly. "Now, may I ask, if you will, where have you been these last few weeks?" Nick stepped toward her, gazing at her as his paws moved behind his back.
"I'm sorry, sir, but there were a few unforeseen problems. I had to help my two cousins, Mr. Wilde, more than I had expected. With my aunt's funeral arrangement and with her estate." Judy set her bags on the ground, still nervous and unsure what may happen next.
Nick, hearing her explanation, remained quiet after thinking of the response she told him. Unclasping his paws behind his back, he took two steps closer to her and said, "Not one letter since you've been gone." He stopped speaking and adverted his eyes to the ground in shame before saying, "I'm sorry to hear about the news of your aunt, Ms. Hopps. Truly, I am."
"What?" Judy spoke, a look of confusion on her face as if not having heard him correctly. "What was that before?
"Not one letter." He repeated before turning away. "I know for certain Mrs. Otterton got a letter during your absence," He turned back and pointed back at her. "Sophie herself also got a letter from you. No doubt even Mrs. Malaya, from down the lane, received a letter." In frustration, Nick threw a paw into the air, walking in a circle around Judy. "Which I may add, called on the house two days ago, asking of you. She seemed a little worried, having not seen you walking to the village for some time." Nick stopped to face her and leaned in to get his point across. "But oh no, not me. That would be too much to ask for, is it? I, the master of the house, was to learn only by Mrs. Otterton the news of you returning home today."
Still frustrated, unsure what to do, he took a few steps away from her as he continued to ramble on. "Having asked for further information from her, she informed me you never gave an exact time of your return. No train number. I have been down twice to the village since this morning to see if you have arrived." Unable to control herself then, Judy smiled as she let out a few laughs, covering her face. Nick stopped speaking, noticing her from where he stood. "Well, I finally found something that seems to amuse you so much in my manner of distress. I'm glad this pleased you so much. May I ask what has earned this from you, Ms. Hopps?"
With her paws still covering her mouth, Judy simply looked into those green eyes she had missed so much during her time away. Still smiling at him, she lowered her paws, "It's not your distress that amuses me, sir. But instead, it's your thought of me writing to Mrs. Malaya." She slowly took a step toward him. "She is very kind to have called, worried about me, but I can assure you, Mr. Wilde, that no such letter was sent to her." Judy fidgeted a little with her paws before looking back at him. "I'm sorry for not writing to you personally, sir. My only reason is that I assumed you would be too preoccupied with your guests."
"Did you?" Nick asked.
"Well, yes, with Ms. Stevens and the others," Judy spoke before being interrupted by a young female voice behind her.
"Ms. Hopps!" Sophie spoke as she came flying out the front door toward her. Dressed in a simple, long dress, the young vixen's feet stopped inches from Judy as she nearly lifted the doe in her arms and turned in a circle. "It's been so boring here since you left."
"Sophie, please, gently!" Judy spoke, laughing as she did this, feeling her feet touch the ground again. How she had missed the vixen during her absence. "Here, let me look at you." Judy reached out and gripped Sophie's arms and held them away from her body. "You've grown these past weeks since I've been gone, haven't you?" She smiled up at her pupil. "You're blossoming so beautifully. What do you mean it's been boring? What about the party that was here when..."
Sophie hugged Judy again, saying, "They all left suddenly, the day after you had. There has been no one here to entertain or talk to since.
"Oh, my dear, welcome, welcome home." Mrs. Otterton, emerging from the house, walked over to where the two females stood. Giving Judy a slight hug, she approached where Nick was. Nick, remaining quiet, continued to watch the pair interact as the aged Otter joined them.
"You must be utterly exhausted from your journey." She walked over and grabbed Judy's bags from the ground. "Come on, let's get you inside so you can change and get something to eat. You look as if you haven't eaten all day." With Judy and Sophie locked arm in arm, Mrs. Otterton ushered them up and through the house's front door. "You must tell us all about your journey."
After a rather tiring day after arriving back, having bathed and changed into something less formal, Judy soon found herself downstairs, sitting in Mrs. Otterton's office over the next few hours, describing events from her trip in more detail. Having left Sophie that evening to her own pursuits, leaving her in the day room adjacent to her bedroom, both ladies listened to one another's current accounts. "I cannot believe it. I just cannot for my life, after everything, believe it." Mrs. Otterton spoke from her seat, a look of bewilderment on her face. "Of all things." Hearing an event with Judy in greater detail following her aunt's funeral astounded the aged Otter the most. "Well, that changes a lot for you, I dare say, Ms. Hopps, or should I say, Lady Hopps." Mrs. Otterton chuckled, hearing herself say these words out loud.
Seated beside Mrs. Otterton, Judy did not laugh but felt somewhat alarmed at hearing herself being called a Lady. "Please, Mrs. Otterton, I don't wish any of this information to go further than this office." With a look of foreboding, Judy continued to look at her. "My dear uncle has done a great service to me, but I would never have the right to be called a Lady of the Court." Taking a cup of tea beside her, she took a sip and rested the cup on her lap. "I'm not his biological child." She took a deep breath, remembering her discussion with her uncle. "My father, from what my uncle told me, gave up his title, property, everything to become a minister. After their death, my aunt thought of me only as a constant reminder of my mother's betrayal of her family. When my mother left to be with my father, you see, it reinforced my aunt's hatred for the Hopps side of the family. My mother chose to be with him, not caring about money or entitlement." Judy looked down at the cup in her lap, turning it slowly with a paw.
The two females silently sat there momentarily, Mrs. Otterton thinking over what Judy had said. "Well, if you are sure, Ms. Hopps, then you can rest assured I will not utter a word further. If you could return the favor you have asked of me and not mention something to the household." The aged Otter steadied herself in her chair as she took a slow sip of tea from her cup. "It seems you are not the only mammal in the house with juicy news." The aged Otter laughed as she reached over to refill her cup from a small tea kettle.
Unsure how to understand this meaning, Judy, a look of confusion on her face, simply looked back at Mrs. Otterton from her seat. "What do you mean by juicy news?"
Mrs. Otterton, jumping from her chair, rushed to her office door and peered along the hallway to the kitchen area before closing it. A smile formed at once on the Otter's face at this question. "Well, to start with, it has not been officially announced, mind you." She looked back at Judy. "But I have first-paw knowledge of a request Mr. Wilde sent off to the family's head bank in Zootopia." Mrs. Otterton felt her mind was on the verge of exploding with ideas and theories. "Mr. Wilde requested to have the Wilde Family jewels removed from the vault there and transported here." She clasped both paws to the sides of her face while Judy looked on in silence, unsure what to say. "Do you know what this could mean, Ms. Hopps?"
"No, I'm afraid I don't," Judy answered, setting her cup on the side table. She studied Mrs. Otterton more closely, trying to decipher her information.
Still taken aback by the lack of understanding, Mrs. Otterton continued. "We'll get back to that bit in a minute, dear. There is something else." She walked over to a small shelf, where a faded black and white photo of herself appeared next to a handsome-looking male Otter wearing glasses. She turned around and walked back to her seat next to Judy. "You see, Ms. Hopps, ever since his dear father died, I have prayed that Mr. Wilde would finally settle down and find someone to spend his life with. About a week after you left for your aunt, I overheard Mr. Wilde discussing, with his valet, travel arrangements to the Mufasa Islands if things go the way he hopes." The aged Otter reached for her cup once more. "So, with the sudden departure of Miss Stevens and recent developments, I think I'm confident enough to say an arrangement has been made by Mr. Wilde and Miss Stevens." She eyed Judy for a second, who only now seemed to understand what Mrs. Otterton had been discussing as she finished speaking. "He has been spending more time at the Stevens as of late, almost dining with them in the evenings every other day."
Judy, her paws fidgeting a little in her lap, lowered her head before saying, "So, what you're saying is, you think Mr. Wilde is planning on marrying Miss Stevens?" Hearing herself say these words forced her mind into a tailspin of emotions, looking back at the Otter.
"If my hunch is correct, and I hope it is." Shifting herself happily in her seat, Mrs. Otterton gave another chuckle as she drank more tea from her cup. "But, again, no announcement has been made, so we will just have to wait, will we not, Ms. Hopps?"
Judy felt the sudden sensation as if someone or something was reaching into her and squeezing her heart. She grasped a shaking paw to her chest as if she could not breathe correctly. With the sudden increase in her heart's rhythm, Judy was flooded with so many emotions that her mind felt as if on the verge of bursting. Not wishing to show any signs of concern or trouble to Mrs. Otterton, she rose suddenly from her seat, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Otterton, but I think I have troubled you too long this evening and the lateness of the hour.
"What?" Mrs. Otterton, taken back by Judy's actions, stared at her with concern. "But it is only..."
"Please excuse me," Judy interrupted as she walked to the office door. "I need to ensure Sophie has been settled adequately for the night. Goodnight, Mrs. Otterton." She spoke the last words as she walked along the staff hallways leading to the upper floors.
Passing the door that would have led her upstairs to the foyer area, Judy continued walking along the dimly lit staff hallways under the main house. In an instant, realizing what she had done, Judy reached for the nearest door and proceeded up the short stairwell to another door before emerging along a pitch-black hallway on the first floor. Walking a few steps, unsure of where she was due to not having good night vision, Judy felt a door handle along the hallway and pressed down on it, entering another room. Taking a moment to familiarize herself with where she was, Judy quickly discovered she had ventured into the grand ballroom. Her eyes swelled with tears as she felt her way through the dark room before grasping onto one of the armchairs she knew stood beside the fireplace. In a sign of defeat and anguish, Judy collapsed in the chair as she began to cry out in pain. As the minutes passed, her body curled up within the chair, the doe's deep cries softening to shallow whimpers within the dark room.
"Hello, is anyone there?" A familiar male voice called out as the sound of the door leading into the ballroom opened. Bathing the dark room with faint traces of light, Nick held out a small two-branched candelabra before him as he entered the room.
Unable to make out Nick as he appeared far from her, Judy called out in a fearful voice, "Who are you? What do you want?" Wiping her face with the back of her paw, she struggled to focus on him.
"Ms. Hopps, is that you?" Nick swung the light toward her voice as he spotted her hiding in the armchair in the darkness.
Realizing the figure to be Nick suddenly, Judy, without thinking, called back to him, "Mr. Wilde? What are you doing here?"
Nick seemed at a loss as to why Judy would be here alone at this hour, in the dark. "I'm sorry, Ms. Hopps." He smirked his familiar grin at her, knowing she would be unable to see clearly from her distance. "But as the master of this house, am I not allowed to wander through it as I please. Even during the lateness of the current hour? Should I seek your permission first, or maybe one of the other staff members?
"What?" Judy realized her question may have come off as improper as she grabbed her ears and covered her eyes before saying, "No, of course not. I'm sorry." She let go of her ears and watched as Nick approached her.
Nick was still dressed in his dinner attire; he studied Judy as she struggled to control herself by the growing light from the candles. "Are you alright, Ms. Hopps, or has your travel made you ill?"
Unwilling to look him in the face, fearing what may happen if she did, she lowered her head. "Yes, sir, I'm quite well."
Reaching the now nervous doe, Nick gazed around the dark room before looking back at Judy. "I'm sorry to have startled you. I had only arrived home from the Stevens vacation residence nearby a few minutes ago. It appears I may have overstayed after dinner and did not wish to be a burden on them, so..." His words trail off at that moment. He suddenly noticed Judy's tear-stained fur from the light and moved toward the small table beside the two armchairs. "I was about to head up when I thought I heard crying. It was then I noticed the door to the room was ajar.
"I'm sorry to have troubled you. Please excuse me." Judy started to lift herself up off the chair before being stopped by Nick.
"No, Ms. Hopps, stay. I'll leave. Nick replied in a pleading tone. "Please, here, I'll leave this with you." He set the candelabra on the small table next to her. "That way, you can safely go upstairs when ready." Giving her a slight bow, Nick turned around to walk away.
"I hope you and Ms. Stevens will be happy together," Judy said suddenly, not knowing why or what had driven her to say it aloud. Slapping a paw over her face, she struggled to think of something else to say, embarrassed by her words.
Nick stopped and spun suddenly around to face her again. "What?" In a casual tone, he spoke to her, unsure he had heard her correctly. "What did you say?"
Judy realized she had made a grave mistake, so she made no excuses for her actions by saying, "I have heard from somewhere that you intend to marry soon."
For a moment, Nick stood there, speechless, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Opening them, he rolled his shoulders a little before returning to the pair of armchairs. "Well, this somewhere," He moved along close to her. "No doubt likely came from Mrs. Otterton, I can surmise." A look of worry flashed over Judy's face as Nick adjusted his dinner coat before lowering himself into the vacant chair beside Judy. "I can see now that news from her travels much faster in her older age. Though I must say, she has been able to prevent certain information from reaching the staff in the past." Adjusting his shirt cuffs with a paw, he acted undisturbed. "But you are somewhat correct, Ms. Hopps. I do wish to marry in the coming time?
Judy opened her mouth slightly, looking at the fox with utter disbelief. Hearing proof of Mrs. Otterton's suspicions, Judy felt a pain rush through her chest, as if the mere words Nick used were a knife being plunged into her flesh. Unsure how to reply to such a statement, she struggled not to leap to her feet and yell; what a mistake this would be for him. Instead, lowering her head, she simply spoke calmly, "Then I will begin looking for a new position at the earliest opportunity."
His ears moving back, Nick was at a loss as to what Judy had just said. He simply stared back at her, eyeing her attentively. "Are you not happy here at Casterly?" Nick asked. "Or did something, or someone, cross your path while you were away from us all?" He pressed back into the chair, crossing a leg over the other. "I guess that's what happens with a doe such as yourself. No sooner does one settle down somewhere than they must find better fertile soil to tend."
"You are wrong, sir, Mr. Wilde." Judy raised her head and stared directly into his eyes. Her chin suddenly began to shiver as her emotions took over her. "I love Casterly so dearly. I would grieve to leave such a place, sir. But if you intend to marry soon, I will no longer be welcome to remain in my current position once such an event happens. She will not allow it."
Listening to Judy's words, a complete look of shock and frustration flooded Nick's face. "Whoa, wait a moment, Ms. Hopps," He waved his paws at her as he leaned forward. "What do you mean you would no longer be welcome to remain? Who is this she?"
"Your fiancée, Ms. Stevens." Judy looked down at her lap with disgust. "I overheard her discussion with her mother before I left for my aunts. She would see that Sophie is sent to live away from Casterly." Judy struggled to hold back a few tears as she continued. "If that is to come, then there would be no further need for my services here."
Realizing her meaning now, Nick breathed a slow sigh of relief. "I see." before settling back in his seat, shifting some as his tail flicked by his feet. "So I'm to lose someone I had found to be a faithful employee and an intellectual at that, in my employment, am I?"
"I feel it must be so, sir," Judy replied.
"But have we not become in a way," Nick paused to think carefully of the word he wished to use. "Friends, during your time here?"
"I would like to think so, yes." Judy stirred in her seat, hearing Nick think of her as such.
"Ms. Hopps, forgive me, but I need to speak freely and plainly to you if you allow me?" Nick, unable to control what he truly wished to speak, rubbed along his left arm before brushing the top of his head and ears. He seemed almost frustrated by his own words. Without waiting for a reply, he continued to ramble on.
"You see, when the two of us are together, I sometimes feel that this strange feeling seems to come over me. It manifests itself here..." Nick rose to his feet, touching his left side. "...just under my rib. It is like some force coiling itself tightly and waits." He moved a paw to the center of his stomach. In utter frustration, he threw his hands in the air and stepped away from Judy, turning his back on her. "What am I saying? It's ridiculous, of course, it is?" Raising his face to the sky, he covered his eyes with his paw. "How would you, above any creature I have known, even understand what I may be feeling? Of course not! And why should you, a bunny such as yourself? You would probably forget me entirely if you were to leave us here. As you move on to grander places or adventures, undoubtedly."
"You are mistaken, Mr. Wilde." Judy sprang from her seat as she let her mind break free and speak aloud what she wished to say. "I would never forget this place, for as long as the air continues to move through my body, I would never forget my time here at Casterly. Having felt only compassion and acceptance here, I think my heart would tear apart at being unable to remain a part of it." She covered her face with her paws, breathing deeply. "It has become the happiest part of my life since arriving here. With Sophie...and you, sir."
"Then why say you will leave us, Ms. Hopps?" Nick spoke calmly as he turned back and approached next to her.
Tears clearly visible along her face, Judy sniffed heavily as she said in a firmer tone, "Because your fiancée will not allow it." She pressed her head against Nick's chest at this, breathing heavily.
Nick, gently touching the sides of her shoulders, looked past her as his mind raced within him. "I have no fiancée, Ms. Hopps."
"No, but you will soon enough, once it's been made official." With her head pressed against his chest, she struggled with her breathing before looking up at him. "Then, I will be nothing more than a hindrance to her." Her chin trembling once again. She turned away from Nick as she continued to ramble on. "Do you think, Mr. Wilde, that just because I am a bunny, plain, without position or title, I do not have a heart that weeps for what it wants in life?" She whipped back and looked dead in his eyes. "You are gravely mistaken, sir." Taking a moment, she wiped her eyes clear of the tears she was shedding.
At that moment, she thought of Sophie, how much life would change for her, and the friendly staff she had grown fond of. She took a steadying breath. "Knowing only that I will have to say goodbye to this place, I feel it would honestly break my heart. I have cherished so much while working here, from lessons with Sophie, the excellent staff, and Mrs. Otterton." Judy fixed her lavender eyes once again on Nick's emerald. "And you, sir, Mr. Wilde, I will miss, even more, the conversations we've enjoyed and evenings together with Sophie." She clutched at her heart and shouted. "I'm a free creature with a free mind and a heart filled with the willpower to be greater!"
Nick, who had remained silent during Judy's rant, felt like he was melting from nerves before her. Reaching out, he grasped both her paws in his own as he knelt down so she would be at eye level with himself. He watched her raise her head, praying for strength, as she breathed deeply. "Then let your free will guide your heart toward greater happiness, Ms. Hopps, Judith." He spoke her name, which seemed to shiver along her spine at hearing it from him. "That is what I must ask of you now. I want to set a new course in my life. But what I must ask of you is something I have contemplated for the past few months. So please let me finish before you answer. He steadied himself before saying, "Judith, though you may not see me as a simple fox, I hope you might share as I do by what I'm about to say. As you are equal in my eyes, let me be yours in return. I pledge before you now, my heart, possessions, everything." He leaned in and gently placed his brow on hers as he softly spoke the next two words. "Marry me."
Almost at once, unsure she had heard him correctly, Judy jerked back, freeing her paws from Nick. "What?" Her ears now erect, she struggled to fully comprehend what he had just asked her. All she could do at that moment was stare back at him.
Unmoved by her reaction, Nick remained kneeling on the floor. "Do you doubt the honesty of my proposal?" He slowly rose to his feet.
The warm feeling Nick's paws had given her slowly began to turn cold as she fidgeted with them. "Very much, sir," Judy replied rapidly. "Your soon-to-be bride is Ms. Stevens, sir, not a plain creature like me."
Nick again closed the gap between the two of them. He raised a paw along her cheek, "No, the bride I chose is standing before me." With a loving smile, he looked into her eyes. "Will you have me as I am?"
"You are choosing a simple governess to be your wife?" Judy asked this question nervously, her emotions on the verge of exploding.
"No, I am choosing the cute intellectual bunny before me," Nick replied.
At that moment, flushed with unimaginable happiness and speed, Judy flung herself at Nick, wrapping her arms around his neck. Feeling himself being pulled down slightly, Nick adjusted as he helped support her weight by holding on to her midsection. With his right arm holding her firmly, he slid his other paw along the side of her cheek. Her face buried in the crock of his neck, she turned to the side and said, "You should never call a bunny cute, Mr. Wilde." She let out a soft chuckle. "It's rather unbecoming to anyone other than another bunny." She eyed him playfully, her arms still wrapped around his neck, "But I will allow it this time." She slowly pressed her trembling lips to Nick's as the two fully embraced each other. As the seconds passed, the passion between them only seemed to intensify.
As the two of them remained wrapped in each other's arms, a figure from within the shadows continued to watch over them. Unseen or noticed, from the open doorway leading from the ballroom, Mrs. Otterton, shock and disbelief etched on her face, slowly began to back away and into the darkness.