Chapter 24

29 July 2003

After Hermione's revelation the previous day, she'd been jumpy and anxious. She had thought about Flooing Padma numerous times to check if there had been any progress, even though she knew that Padma would contact her as soon as she found anything. It didn't make her feel any better.

There was a part of Hermione that was worried that even if they could figure out a way to get her home, it wouldn't work. She'd been willfully ignoring the fact that her body had disappeared somewhere between the second and third universe. Now, though, it was all she could think about. What would happen to her if her consciousness or essence or soul or whatever she was now made it back to her own world? Was her body there waiting for her? Would it miraculously rematerialize?

She had to trust in the magic of the Universe Hopper. It must be possible to get back to her body or else the device wouldn't have let her jump into her other self in the first place. She couldn't imagine that the person that had invented it wouldn't have had some kind of safeguard on it to prevent that very thing if that were the case. If Rookwood were planning to use it himself, he would have wanted a way to return to his own world. Probably.

Unless that was the whole point. If things went badly in his own world, if Voldemort had been defeated, then perhaps his intent was to take over one of his other selves and try to bring Voldemort's plans for their society to fruition. He could have had no intention of returning to his own world, instead making the one that he wanted for himself. It sounded exactly like what he would do.

She wondered if he had been able to test it. If he had, surely he would have wanted to go back to his own world just to be sure that it worked. He must have wanted to have an escape if things didn't go the way he wanted in whatever other universe he jumped into. But there was no way to know if he had tested it or not as he hadn't been questioned before Hermione had disappeared from her world.

She sighed. She could go round and round with this forever. There was no way to know what would happen when she went home until she tried it. She just had to believe that everything would work out. She'd go mad otherwise.

She jumped as arms came around her waist and Sirius hummed against the back of her neck. "Sorry. You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep."

He kissed the back of her head and turned her around to face him. She wrapped her arms around his neck without conscious thought.

"Just because you couldn't sleep didn't mean you had to get out of bed," he said.

"I didn't want to wake you."

He glanced around the room. "I'm a bit surprised to find you in here. You usually avoid this room."

Hermione was in one of the extra bedrooms. She had no idea why she'd wandered in here, actually. Normally she would have gone to the library or the kitchen, or even the drawing room. But something had drawn her here and she'd stood at the window looking out into the back garden as her thoughts had raced.

She couldn't ask why she usually avoided this room, although she had a fairly good idea. And the more that she thought about it, she hadn't felt anything from her other self since she'd come in here. It must have been Harry's room.

"Did we do the right thing?" Sirius asked, resting his chin on top of her head.

"What do you mean?"

"When we just packed everything up in here after the funeral and stowed it away without even looking at it. It's like we erased him."

"We didn't erase him. It was just too hard to look at all of his things right away."

"We could have just sealed the room. Left it as it was until we were ready."

"Would it have helped to walk past his closed door every day?"

"No," Sirius said with a sigh.

"And do you think that we could have come in here and gone through everything all at the same time? We had to stop after two boxes yesterday."

"I guess not."

"We did the best we could at the time, Sirius. This way, we can go through his things a little at a time, whenever we feel up to it. Since we've started, we could even put some things back in here if we want."

Sirius smiled down at her. "I think that's a wonderful idea."

Hermione smiled back and he leaned down and kissed her. She melted into the kiss, needing a distraction from Harry and all of her thoughts about the Universe Hopper. She felt her other self prodding forward, but Hermione shoved her back. This time, she wanted this for herself. It was selfish, she knew that, but she didn't much care at the moment. She also wanted to make sure that she ultimately still had control of things. She shuddered to think what might happen if the other Hermione could take over fully.

Without breaking their kiss, Sirius walked backward, taking Hermione with him until they were in the corridor. Then he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She wondered if he was going to carry her up two flights of stairs, but that question was quickly answered when he shoved her up against the wall of the bedroom next to Harry's.

He ground himself into her and she gasped, head falling back against the wall. Sirius moved to her neck, nipping where it met her shoulder and Hermione whined in response. He laved the spot with his tongue, as Hermione buried her hands in his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers.

Sirius pressed her harder against the wall, one hand moving from her thigh up under her shirt. She was still in the shirt she'd worn to bed and hadn't put on a bra. He wasted no time finding her breasts and she moaned into his mouth.

After several minutes of snogging, Sirius pulled away and whispered an incantation. They were both bare seconds later. Lining himself up, he thrust up into her and her head fell back against the wall again with a moan.

"Fuck, Hermione," Sirius panted. "Always so good."

She hummed in agreement, kissing him again. One of his hands continued gripping her thigh, the other roaming over her body as she tightened her legs around him, heels digging into his arse.

"Please, Sirius," she managed between kisses, and he moved his hand between them. And then she was crying out as she fell over the edge. She opened her eyes to see him watching her. He thrust into her faster and harder until her back was scraping against the wall. Not that she cared.

She squeezed him tighter, and he shouted out her name, reaching his own release. He slumped against her, breathing hard into her neck as they both tried to recover. They slid slowly to the floor, still joined, Hermione on his lap.

"I love you," he said, kissing her languidly.

"I love you too," she replied, resting her head against his shoulder as he finally slipped from her. Sirius waved a hand, casting the cleansing charm, then gathered her into his arms and maneuvered so he leaned back against the wall, with her in his lap. It couldn't have been all that comfortable, but he didn't seem to mind.

She could tell that he wanted to say something, and she suspected he was going to ask her to move into his room again. But he stayed silent. Hermione really hoped that her other self would finally agree when Hermione left. Sirius deserved someone to love him fully and completely.

30 July 2003

The next two days passed similarly. They went through more boxes in the attic and even moved a few things back to Harry's old room. Hermione suggested framing the photograph of Harry's first birthday and Sirius agreed. It now held pride of place on the mantel in the library, along with a photograph of Harry and Sirius from Harry's eighteenth birthday and another of the three of them from Christmas just after Harry returned from his travels.

They took another ride on Sirius' motorbike, although they had no destination in mind. Hermione found that she actually enjoyed herself, although she still refused to allow Sirius to fly the thing with her on it. They cooked together at night. Hermione was surprised to find that he was a rather good cook. And there was quite a lot of sex. She wasn't sure if Sirius was always this insatiable or it was just a way to help himself feel something other than grief. In any case, her other self never complained and surged forward more often than not. Hermione never tried to stop her after that one time, even though it still worried her.

Tomorrow was Harry's birthday and the anniversary of his death. She knew she and Sirius were going to the cemetery in Godric's Hollow in the afternoon to spend a bit of time there. Apparently, Kingsley was able to close it off to the press for the afternoon so that Hermione and Sirius weren't interrupted. They would Apparate there, to a small stand of trees that was warded to hide it from Muggles.

Hermione's stomach churned every time she thought about it. While she knew that the Harry of her world was still alive and well, she couldn't help imagining what her life would be like if he wasn't. The emotions and raw grief from her other self didn't help matters any.

She had hoped to be gone before she had to deal with this but that obviously wasn't going to happen. Hermione hadn't heard from Padma yet, something that was starting to concern her. If Padma couldn't find anything new, Hermione wasn't sure what she was going to do. Not to mention the fact that even if Padma did find a solution, Hermione didn't know how she was going to be able to meet with her to discuss it. Sirius wouldn't understand why she would need to see Padma this week, given how adamant they both seemed to be about spending it alone. From what she could tell, no one even came to the cemetery with them. She wondered when the Weasleys and Harry's other friends visited. Maybe that was something that needed to change. If there were enough people there, Hermione could at least talk to Padma tomorrow without Sirius thinking it was strange.

"Sirius?"

He was sitting in one of the armchairs in the drawing room, staring into the empty fireplace. He looked up at her and Hermione could see the brightness in his eyes. "Yes?"

"I've been thinking about tomorrow." She bit her lip, unsure how he was going to take her suggestion.

"What about it?"

"Do you think that, maybe, maybe we should let other people be there?"

His brow furrowed and she continued quickly. "Not the entire time. You and I should go alone at first but maybe the rest of them could come later?"

"What brought this on?" he asked. "You've always been insistent it should just be the two of us."

"I know but," she paused. Her other self was hovering, but didn't seem overly distressed or upset about what Hermione was saying. She took that as a good sign that maybe it was time for things to change. "A lot of people loved Harry. And maybe we should be together this time. To help each other."

Sirius sat in silence for a few moments, then sighed. "Andromeda suggested the same thing when I was there the other day."

"So did Padma," Hermione said. It wasn't exactly what the other woman had said but Hermione knew she'd be on board.

Sirius rose from his chair and joined Hermione on the couch. He took his hands in hers. "Are you sure about this? I don't want you doing it just because you think that it's what we should do."

"I think…I think it would be good for us. For everyone."

He smiled at her and pulled her into his arms, kissing her temple. "I think so too."

Hermione wrapped her arms around him and realized that Sirius had probably wanted to do things this way for some time now. But he hadn't suggested it because he didn't think it was what her other self wanted. Gods, if the other Hermione didn't pull her head out of her arse and move in with this man she wasn't as smart she thought she was. Hermione felt a wave of annoyance from her other self, but it was for the thought, not the plan to have others at the cemetery.

"What if we had a little gathering afterward?" Sirius said. "To toast Harry, I mean."

"Here?"

"It doesn't have to be here. We could go to a restaurant or a pub in Diagon, they all have private rooms you can rent. We could even go somewhere in Muggle London."

Hermione chewed her lip in thought. If it were here, that might make it easier for her to talk to Padma somewhere privately without everyone wondering why she was putting up a privacy ward. In Muggle London she wouldn't be able to use magic, even if they went to the loo or something. And she didn't want to deal with the Wizarding press if they went somewhere in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade, private room or not.

"No, let's do it here," Hermione said.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "That way we don't have to worry about the press or anyone accidentally using magic. Besides, this was Harry's house too."

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. He smiled when he pulled back. "We've got work to do then." Rising from the couch, he went to the fireplace and cast an 'Incendio'. He grabbed the pot of Floo powder and threw some in, calling for Andromeda's.

Hermione and Sirius spent the rest of the afternoon Floo-calling those they were inviting. In the end, they'd decided on Andromeda and Teddy, Padma, Luna, Neville, Minerva, Hagrid, Kingsley, and the Weasleys. Sirius made sure that Molly and Arthur understood that Ron was only invited if he behaved himself. Neither he nor Hermione wanted to deal with Ron's barbed comments or blatant disapproval of their relationship. Molly promised to keep her son in check.

Hermione and Sirius had gone shopping for food and more alcohol, although Hermione thought they had plenty at Grimmauld already. She didn't comment, however. There was a low level of anxiety coming from her other self the entire day that sometimes bled over and made it hard for Hermione to make a decision about one thing or another. Sirius seemed to take it in stride, however, and planned out the hors d'oeuvres and snacks they'd have for their guests. Molly had insisted on bringing food, as had Andromeda, so there wasn't much that they had to prepare.

Sirius seemed to be in his element and Hermione wondered how long it had been since he had entertained. She'd gathered from Padma that the other Hermione and Sirius didn't shut themselves away from everyone all the time, just around the anniversary of Harry's death. But that didn't mean they frequently had company either.

When they had finally finished organizing the food and getting things ready in the rest of the house, they retired to the drawing room and stretched out on the couch together. Sirius had poured himself a glass of Firewhiskey, as per usual, and Hermione had agreed to a glass of wine now that she knew it wasn't alcohol that gave her other self more control. Hermione still had no intention of drinking to excess, however.

Hermione was on her side, cheek resting on Sirius' chest, arm across his stomach. He lay on his back, head propped up on the arm of the couch, one arm around her shoulders, glass of Firewhiskey in his free hand. Every so often, his lips would ghost over her forehead. There was soft music playing on the wireless in the background, but Hermione wasn't paying much attention to it.

"Can't believe it's been three years," Sirius said softly.

Hermione's hand fisted in his shirt, eyes closing as if that could keep the pain away. She swallowed thickly. She'd been on the verge of tears all day but had been successful in holding them off. Sirius set his glass on the table and wrapped his other arm around her too.

"I know he wouldn't want this," Sirius said. "Wouldn't want us to keep mourning him like this but I can't help it." His voice cracked and Hermione felt him take a shuddering breath. She pulled herself closer to him unable to hold her tears back any longer in the wake of his pain.

It wasn't fair. Harry had had such a hard childhood and adolescence. Once Voldemort was gone, he should have been able to enjoy the rest of what should have been a very long life. There were so many horrible people in the world, why hadn't it been one of them? Harry was good and kind and loving. He shouldn't have died.

She felt Sirius succumb to his grief and Hermione hugged him as tightly as she could. She cried too, how could she not? But this time, she tried to send him as much strength and love as she could. It was obvious to her that Sirius carried most of the burden when it came to his and the other Hermione's shared grief, always making sure she was all right first. But this time, she wasn't going to let him. He needed to fall apart sometimes too.

She felt a wave of gratitude from her other self plus something that felt like determination. Hermione wondered if the other her just hadn't realized this before or had finally gotten to a place where she was ready to be stronger, especially for Sirius. Hermione was glad. She hoped the two of them would make it. She had a feeling that they would.

When Sirius had finally calmed somewhat, he tried to pull away from her, but Hermione held fast.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I just, sometimes it just hits me like that." He didn't meet her eyes.

"There's still nothing to apologize for."

"Yes, but-"

She finally pulled back from him, shaking her head. She moved a strand of hair off his forehead. "No. It's okay to fall apart. Merlin knows I do it enough. Let me take care of you sometimes."

He smiled at her and then kissed her softly. Hermione snuggled back into his side, his hand idly running up and down her arm. They laid there for quite some time, both lost in their thoughts, until they both drifted off to sleep.

31 July 2003

Hermione stood staring at her reflection in the mirror. Today was the day. The day that she would come face to face with Harry's grave. Her stomach rolled and her heart clenched. This wasn't something she had ever thought she'd have to face, at least not for an extremely long time. Yes, Harry was an Auror and was in dangerous situations from time to time, but she still couldn't picture him gone. Maybe it was the fact that he'd survived Voldemort so many times or the fact that they'd made it through the war at all. But Harry had always seemed a bit invincible to her.

She wasn't sure she could do this. She was both glad she had left the Universe Hopper with Padma and annoyed with herself that she had cut off her only means of escape. Intellectually, she knew that she couldn't just keep jumping indiscriminately but emotionally, she just wanted to leave this place and never look back. She really hoped that Padma would have some news for her today.

Sirius appeared behind her in the mirror. He wrapped his arms around her, giving her a wan smile. "Are you ready, love?"

"Not really," Hermione said.

Sirius squeezed her tighter. "I know."

They stood in silence for a few moments, Hermione leaning back into him as they looked at one another in the mirror. They had spent the morning lying in bed, just holding one another and occasionally shedding a few tears. Sirius had gotten up at one point and made them breakfast that they ate in bed like they had a few days before. Hermione hadn't felt like eating at all, but Sirius convinced her to at least have some toast and fruit.

"You're sure it's all right if I wear this?" she asked. That morning when she had gone to the other Hermione's room to get dressed, she'd found Harry's old Gryffindor Quidditch jersey in the back of her other self's wardrobe. Hermione had put it on, along with a pair of denims. But she had no idea how she should dress for this event, especially since they were having people over after.

"It's perfect," Sirius said, kissing her cheek and giving her another squeeze.

She turned in his arms and pressed her cheek against his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and wrapped her tighter in his embrace. "It's time."

She nodded and he released her, taking her hand and leading her to the front door. He pulled her to him once again and Disapparated.

Hermione held Sirius' hand tightly as they made their way through the cemetery. It was quiet, the silence only broken by the occasional call from a bird or rustle of the trees in the soft breeze.

The closer they got to where Hermione knew the headstone of James and Lily Potter, and now Harry's, sat, the harder her heart pounded. She took a few deep breaths to try and calm her racing heart. She could not have a panic attack now.

She could feel her other self close to the surface and Hermione contemplated letting her take over for a bit. It would mean Hermione could detach herself from what was going on; be aware of it but not actively participating. She could avoid the worst of the anguish.

Except, Hermione wasn't sure if she should do that. In the last couple of days, her other self had asserted herself more and more often. Hermione could always take back over as the other her would eventually recede again. But what if this were the time that Hermione couldn't get back? What if this time the other Hermione decided she wanted to stay for good? Hermione couldn't chance it, not until she'd talked to Padma and gotten the Universe Hopper back.

So, she took one more deep breath, squeezed Sirius' hand and reminded herself yet again that the Harry of her world was alive and well. She would get back to him.

When they reached the two headstones, Hermione first looked at James and Lily's. It looked the same as it did in her world, with the same sentiment. She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked at Harry's headstone.

Harry James Potter

31 July 1980 – 31 July 2000

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves

Hermione immediately began to cry, silent tears running down her cheeks. The summer after the war in her world, she and Harry had gone into Muggle London one afternoon. They hadn't done much, had lunch and browsed through some shops, walked around and spent time in a park people-watching. In one of the shops, Harry had found a small wooden plaque with that saying on it. He'd bought it, telling Hermione that it was what he'd done. Chosen his own family. She wondered if the other Hermione and Harry had done the same thing here.

She leaned against Sirius, and he wrapped an arm around her, his tears joining hers. She knew that he was crying for James and Lily as well as Harry. Three precious people taken from them far too soon. And for what? The idea that one person was better than another because of their blood? Fuck everyone who thought that way. Fuck everyone that had taken children from their parents, parents from their children, friends from one another because they were trying to defend everyone's right to exist, regardless of their blood or their last name.

Sirius conjured a blanket and the two of them sat down. Sirius began telling James and Lily and Harry about everything that had happened in the last year. When he finished, he looked at Hermione, but she just shook her head. She was a bit worried he would think that was strange; maybe the other Hermione usually spoke to them too. But he just pulled her closer to his side and kissed her temple and they lapsed into silence once more.

They heard a distant pop sometime later and Hermione knew that the others were beginning to arrive. Not everyone was coming to the cemetery. Some of them were just going to meet them at Grimmauld Place later. Sirius took her hand and helped her to her feet. He vanished the blanket while Hermione conjured wreaths of flowers, one for each headstone.

"I miss you," Hermione whispered as she placed the wreath on Harry's grave. And she did, terribly.

"We should talk," Padma said.

They had all come back to Grimmauld, those that hadn't been at the cemetery joining them as well. Everyone had drinks and food and were talking in various groups around the room.

Hermione nodded. "Meet me in my room. I'll be there in a minute." She made her way over to where Sirius was talking with Bill and Arthur. He smiled and put an arm around her when she appeared at his side.

"I need to go and talk to Padma for a bit. Something about work that couldn't wait," she said.

Sirius' brow furrowed and Hermione gave him an apologetic look. "I won't be long."

He nodded, then smiled as she thanked Arthur and Bill for coming, then left the room. She began to climb the stairs to the other Hermione's bedroom when a voice called out behind her.

"Hermione? Can you wait a second?"

Hermione bit back a sigh. She didn't want to deal with Ron right now. "What is it, Ron?"

"I just wanted to, erm," he rubbed the back of his neck. "I just wanted to say thanks for letting me come."

"Sure," she said. "If you'll excuse me."

"No, wait."

This time she did sigh but turned back to face him once again.

"Look, I know that we don't really talk much, and I know that's mostly my fault."

Hermione snorted. From what she'd heard, it was all his fault.

"Okay," he said sheepishly. "All my fault. But…I really miss you."

She felt the other Hermione scoff and truth be told, Hermione agreed with her. Ron had no one to blame for missing her but himself.

"And I just want to say that I'm sorry. And I hope that maybe we could get back to being friends again."

Hermione studied him for a few moments. Obviously, this wasn't up to her and if the feelings she was getting from her other self right now were any indication, it would be a long road if it even happened at all. Still, she could count on one hand the number of times her Ron had apologized to her and actually meant it. This Ron seemed to be sincere.

"You've said a lot of horrible things, Ron. I can't just forget that."

"I know," he said, looking remorseful.

"And I really can't deal with this today."

Ron nodded. "I understand."

"Just, owl me next week and we'll see."

He smiled. "I will. Thanks, Hermione."

She nodded and turned to continue up the stairs. Her other self sent out a wave of annoyance. "Sorry," Hermione whispered under her breath. "But I'm not making those kinds of decisions for you."

She finally made it to the other Hermione's bedroom. Padma was sitting in the chair at the desk waiting for her. Hermione closed the door and then warded the room with every privacy charm she knew.

"First," Padma said. "Let me give you this back." She reached into the small handbag she had with her and pulled out the box with the Universe Hopper. Hermione felt herself relax just seeing it again. She didn't realize how on edge she had been without it.

"Have you found something?" she asked.

"Yes," Padma said. Hermione's heart immediately leapt into her throat. Padma put up a hand. "I can't guarantee that it will get you home though."

"Anything is better than nothing at this point," Hermione said.

"I've translated all the symbols on the device, and I didn't find any errors. Since then, I've been studying the symbol that wraps around the edge from each of your jumps. I was able to draw them after viewing the memories enough times and I found something interesting."

Padma reached back into her handbag and pulled out a stack of parchment. She spread the drawings out on top of the desk, in what Hermione assumed were the order of her jumps. Some of the drawings were only half the symbol, taken from the first jumps before she started checking that particular symbol.

"You had speculated that this symbol was actually a combination of more than one symbol, since it changed every time and you never recognized it."

"Right," Hermione said.

"I think you're right about that," Padma said. "And I had no idea what symbols or how many until I drew everything out and started lining them up."

Padma took all of the drawings and lined up the first half of the symbol, the one that they had from the memories of each jump. "Notice anything?"

Hermione stared hard at the parchment, eyes darting from one drawing to the next. "Some of them look a little similar, I guess? But different too. I'm not sure."

Padma nodded, then began to fold the pieces of parchment so that only part of front half of the symbol showed. Except, Hermione noticed, she wasn't folding them equally in half. The one from Hermione's most recent jump showed very little of the first half of the symbol, while the one from Hermione's first jump showed almost the entire thing. Then Padma lined them up again.

"How about now?"

As Hermione's eyes moved from symbol to symbol, she realized that they were the same symbol. Or part of it anyway. Moving from her first jump to her most recent, less and less of the symbol showed, but the parts that did, were identical.

"It's the same," she breathed.

"Yes," Padma replied with a smile. She picked up the pieces of parchment that only had the entire symbol on it. There were fewer of course, but she refolded them so the other part of the symbol showed. And then she lined them up again. Unlike the first, this time, more of the second symbol showed as the jumps went on, the most on her last jump to this universe.

"What does this mean?" Hermione asked.

"To figure that out, we first have to decide what the two parts mean. Individually."

Hermione looked at the first part of the symbol, the one they had from every jump. Her brow furrowed. Even though they didn't have the entirety of it, it still looked familiar. She grabbed the box that held the Universe Hopper and opened it, casting a magnification charm to enlarge the runes and symbols. She searched until she found what she was looking for.

"This one." She pointed the symbol out to Padma.

"That's what I thought too," Padma agreed with a smile. There was excitement shining in her eyes.

"This one meant…movement?"

"Yes," Padma said.

"And if it's getting smaller then," Hermione trailed off, not sure what that meant.

"Look at the other part."

Hermione looked back at the parchment and the other part of the hybrid symbol. She stared at it for a few minutes, unsure what it was. Again, she looked at the Universe Hopper, searching for a similar symbol. And then she saw it. "Destiny," she whispered.

Padma nodded, smile widening. "If you had looked at both sides of the device from the start, I'm positive that after your first jump the symbol for movement would have taken up most of it, while the destiny symbol would have been a small bit, opposite of what it looks like now, tiny bit of movement and most of it destiny."

"And we could never figure out what it was because we were trying to divide it exactly in half. What was on the front of the device was half of a symbol and what was on the back was another half. But it was never that at all," Hermione said.

"Exactly."

"So, all this time, with every jump, I've been moving closer to my destiny?"

"That's my guess," Padma said.

Hermione took the last drawing Padma had made. The one of the symbol after her jump into this world. While it was mostly destiny, there was still a small bit of movement in it. "Do you think that once I reach where I'm supposed to be the symbol will change to be entirely destiny?"

"I do, yes," Padma said.

"But would that be home then or somewhere else?"

"That, I don't know."

Hermione stared down at the piece of parchment in her hand. "Padma, what if," she paused, swallowing thickly, "what if my destiny isn't to go home?"

"What do you mean?" Padma asked.

"What if I'm meant to be in some other universe? What if I'm supposed to displace the Hermione of that universe? What if I never get back?" Hermione could never see herself permanently taking another Hermione's place. It would be like killing herself. Not to mention that she had no idea how she would even do it. She had been able to force her other self back in this world but to destroy her completely? She couldn't do that. She wouldn't do that.

"I don't think that's what's supposed to happen," Padma said, trying to soothe her. "Remember what Luna told you in the universe with Neville."

"She said once I found what I was looking for, I'd get home."

"Right, so what if it's that you need to get to a universe that shows you what you really want and then you'll be able to go home?"

"But how?"

"I don't know," Padma admitted. "But maybe you need to meet the Padma of that universe and maybe she'll be able to figure it out."

All of the previous Padmas had been able to help Hermione figure something out or try something different to get her somewhere else. So maybe this Padma was right. Maybe once Hermione got to the universe that showed her what she was looking for, that Padma would be able to get her home. It kind of made sense, really. The only thing was, how many more universes was she going to have to go through until she found what she wanted?

There was a knock on the bedroom door and Hermione and Padma looked at one another. The wards Hermione had cast would have kept any sound from leaving the room but they could still hear what was going on outside. Padma quickly gathered up the pieces of parchment, shoving them back into her bag and Hermione stowed the Universe Hopper in the top drawer of the desk. She then crossed the room, glancing back at Padma once more before she dropped the wards and opened the door. "Luna?" she said in surprise.

"Hello, Hermione. I'm sorry to interrupt but I had a feeling you needed to speak to me."

Hermione glanced at Padma, whose eyes widened. "Oh, erm, what about?"

Luna walked into the room, closing the door behind her. She waved her wand and put up a few privacy charms of her own. One of which Hermione had no idea that Luna knew. Hermione glanced at Padma who looked equally gobsmacked.

Luna studied Hermione for a few moments and then nodded. "Only once more, I think."

"Once more what?" Hermione asked.

"Until you find what you've been seeking." She looked at Hermione serenely. "Although, I'm fairly sure you already know. You're just not ready to admit it yet."

Hermione could do nothing but stare. It was one thing to have one Luna tell her that but to have two? In two different universes?

"It's going to be all right, Hermione. You've been very brave," Luna said. She moved back to the door but turned back before she took down the wards once again. "You should go tonight. After Sirius is asleep." And then she left.

Hermione stared at the closed door for a few seconds before she sunk down onto the bed. She looked at Padma. "What just happened?"

Padma shook her head in disbelief. "Luna," was all she said.

Hermione had been distracted for the rest of the gathering. She couldn't call it a party given why everyone was there. Luna hadn't said anything else to her, just hugged her and thanked her for the invitation before she left. Ron hadn't tried to speak to her again either, which Hermione was grateful for. She wouldn't have been able to deal with that on top of everything else.

Sirius had drunk too much and when everyone had finally left, Hermione helped him up to their bedroom. He fell into bed, fully clothed, slurring suggestive comments to her, then passed out a few minutes later. Hermione had looked at him fondly, stripped him to his boxers with magic, and set a glass of water and a hangover potion on his bedside table before covering him with the blankets.

Then she made her way back to the other Hermione's bedroom and sat down at the desk. She stared at the Universe Hopper for a while. She knew she had to jump again and, if she believed what Luna said, it might be for the last time. She was relieved but wary as well. Luna had told her that she thought Hermione already knew what she was looking for but hadn't admitted it.

She realized that she'd learned something in every universe, about the kind of partner that she wanted, the kind of relationship that she wanted. She wanted someone who thought her interests and ambitions were just as important as theirs, who made her laugh, who didn't mind carrying the load when she needed them to, but also allowed her to do the same for them, who valued her opinions, who wanted to romance her, at least some of the time, someone who was willing to take a chance to be with her even if others didn't think they should be.

Someone that was also her best friend. Someone that felt like home. Someone like Harry. Hermione stilled at that thought. No, she didn't want someone like Harry. She wanted Harry. Harry already did all of the things that she wanted, except the romance part. But she knew he was capable of it. She'd seen it with Ginny. And Hermione knew that if Harry felt the same way about her that she did about him, he wouldn't care what everyone else thought.

But did he feel that way about her? She wasn't sure. Sometimes, she thought he might, but she'd always brushed those thoughts aside because he was married and she was with Ron.

Hermione's thoughts drifted back to that night in the tent a few days after Ron had left them. They had been comforting one another and it had turned into something else. Hermione hadn't regretted it, not at all. In fact, as she lay next to Harry after he'd fallen asleep, she had wondered if maybe this was the way it was supposed to be all along.

But the next morning, Harry had seemed uncomfortable, as if he didn't think they should have done what they had. So, Hermione had assured him that it was all right and she knew it was just a reaction to their grief that had gone too far. That it wouldn't happen again and they never needed to tell anyone about it. She'd thought Harry was relieved, but she wondered now if he'd been self-conscious because he was afraid she would regret it, or that he was simply feeling as if they'd cheated on Ron and Ginny. Not that they had, they hadn't been dating either of them at the time.

They hadn't spoken about it again and they'd kept more of a distance between them than they had before. And when Ron came back, Harry had pulled even further from her. And honestly, the Horcrux hunt wasn't the time to explore their feelings, whatever they might or might not have been.

Padma had said that she thought the Harry of this universe was a little bit in love with this Hermione and that Hermione had likely felt the same. But they'd never admitted it. And Harry had died before they got the chance. The wave of melancholy Hermione felt told her Padma was probably right. Maybe that was another reason her other self had a hard time committing to Sirius.

"It's time to make a decision," Hermione said to her other self. "Either commit to Sirius fully or leave him alone. It's not fair to him. And Harry isn't coming back." She felt something like acquiescence.

Hermione wasn't sure if she needed to write a letter to her other self this time. It seemed like the other Hermione knew everything that was going on. Hermione was communicating with her for Merlin's sake. Still, it was habit now and Hermione felt like it was something she needed to do as much for herself as the other her. So, she took a piece of parchment from the desk along with a quill and wrote out her letter.

When she had finished, Hermione folded the parchment and sealed it in an envelope. She propped it up on the other Hermione's desk and then looked around the room. While she wasn't looking forward to jumping again, she was definitely ready to leave this place.

She rose from the chair and walked back to the bedroom where Sirius was asleep. She stood in the doorway watching him for a bit as he snored softly. Hermione wished with everything in her being that she could take the good parts of all of these universes and wrap them all up and take them back to her own. Sighing, she made her way to the bed, leaned down and kissed Sirius' cheek.

"Good-bye, Sirius."

Then she quickly ran from the room before her tears could overtake her. She went back to the other Hermione's bedroom, put the Universe Hopper around her neck, lined up the runes and symbols, then turned the center disc. A second later, she disappeared from the room.