Author's note:
To Foolishly Reading: Past you really was a genius. Hopefully this didn't take too long.
To Guesthouse: It might take some work, but I see a happy ending in the cards for her.
To Bloodhunter101: I am glad you enjoyed the balance between story and comedy I was going for. I like to think I am trying to capture as unique a perspective of the hunt as possible. It might just be arrogance on my part, but not many stories really address the actual consequences of their eternal vows.
Additional thanks to thelordoptimus, Randomaccountnamethingey, Bulletmonk, and Guest for the positive reviews. Not going to lie, hearing so much feedback definitely pushed this ahead of the update schedule.
Also, apologies for choosing to use my character's last name for this arc in the story. I promise that he will go back to being Nick sooner than later. It is just a matter of time.
--
Chapter 4: If You're Not Cheating, You Aren't Trying Hard Enough
"Okay, so I am still a little confused by the plan," Percy says. "How is this supposed to work again?"
I nod in understanding. "It is confusing at first, but I can run through it again," I say. "First off, the hunters view all males as idiots."
"I am following so far," Percy confirms.
"Second, there is nothing on this earth that they enjoy seeing more than men making a fool of themselves," I continue. "Still with me?"
"Yes, but the next part is what was confusing me," he says. "I can understand up to that point, but it is still kind of tricky for me."
"The idea is that there is nothing more captivating to a hunter than men looking stupid," I explain. "It is even more effective if the men are supposed to be focused on something important. It makes them look even dumber and therefore more distracting. By using the male campers, we will form a massive distraction to draw the attention of the majority of the hunter forces. The other portion will be held off by traps and the unified female campers protecting the flag itself."
"I get all of that, but why is it a musical number?" Percy asks.
"My natural powers make plans involving musical numbers more likely to succeed," I admit. "Also, more importantly, I enjoy adding musical numbers to a plan for shits and giggles."
"Of course you do," Percy sighs. "Okay, so it is game time."
"Let's show those ladies what a bunch of dumbasses can do," I say as I give the younger guy a fist bump which he returns. With that, the two of us are going off to war.
--
(Hunter POV)
As they were racing through the forest, they see a clearing filled with men on two sides. She signals the others to surround them for a surprise attack, but wait until her command to strike. She didn't want to rush in and put themselves at a disadvantage.
Out of nowhere, one of the men, his white hair standing out from the rest, began to sing.
"Doesn't seem to matter what I do.
I'm always number two.
No one knows how hard I tried, oh oh, I
I have feelings that I can't explain,
Drivin' me insane.
All my life been so polite,
But I'll sleep alone tonight.
'Cause I'm just Ken.
Anywhere else I'd be a ten
Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blond fragility?
I'm just Ken.
Where I see love, she sees a friend.
What will it take for her to see the man behind the tan and fight for me?"
This seems to send both sides into a frenzy as they immediately begin to fight each other. A thrill finds its way through her body. The only thing better than beating up disgusting males is watching as they do it themselves. It just helps to further display their stupidity.
Somehow, the singing just made it more amusing. Hearing a song about male inadequacy was hilarious to her and her sisters. They all seemed to make the choice to watch the self administered humiliation instead of actively contribute. They could always defeat whoever won.
"I wanna know what it's like to love,
To be the real thing.
Is it a crime, am I not hot when I'm in my feelings?
Is my moment finally here or am I dreaming?
I'm no dreamer."
It was at this point that the whole farce of a fight finally revealed itself to be a coordinated prelude to dancing. She should have known it was too good to be true when they had stumbled across it. Her first clue was the lack of blood, but she had allowed herself to hope nonetheless.
As it stood, she was on guard but still maintained her position. She didn't know what the point of it all was, but she didn't want to accidentally fall into their trap by acting rashly.
"(Can you feel the Ken-ergy?)
(Feel so real, my Ken-ergy.)
(Can you feel the Ken-ergy?)
(Feel so real, my Ken-ergy.)
I'm just Ken.
Anywhere else I'd be a ten.
Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blond fragility?
I'm just Ken.
Where I see love, she sees a friend.
What will it take for her to see the man behind the tan and fight for me?
Whatever was going to happen would happen soon. They were clearly wrapping up the final stages of their nonsensical song. If this was the beggining of something else, it would be revealed at any moment.
I'm just Ken (And I'm enough)
And I'm great at doing stuff.
So hey, check me out, yeah, I'm just Ken.
My name's Ken (and so am I).
Put that manly hand in mine.
So hey, world, check me out, yeah, I'm just Ken.
Baby, I'm just Ken!
After they finally finished their disgusting message of maculine positivity, explosions rang out through the other side of the forest. The hunters all tensed and prepared for a surprise attack, but it never came. The men in the clearing just started cheering like they won.
It was at that moment that she realizes her folly. Their idiotic music wasn't some scheme. It was a distraction to hold their attention. She was completely fooled by their stupidity and fell for the simpleminded trick. The campers didn't need to fight them if they could just hold their attention for long enough.
This was proven when she heard the horn blow to signal the end of the game. In her heart of hearts, she knew what it meant. They had failed.
--
(At the same time)
(Kringle POV)
This was going to be easy as hell. One of me was currently leading the group doing a distraction muscial number. It would definitely work as planned. There was few things as annoying to radical feminists as an ode to male self confidence like 'I'm just Ken.' I couldn't help the impulse in singing a song about being Ken while also being a Ken. I mean, come on! It's right there!
While most people would find it hard to multitask, it is easy when you can divide yourself into multiple bodies. How else do you think Santa gets to every house in a night? He makes a single trip to every house at once by splitting himself. There is probably some way to explain it like he is actualizing every quantum possibility at the same time and allowing himself to follow any possible path. I don't really give a shit about that and neither does he so we all think about it like splitting yourself.
Right now, one of me is preparing for the musical number with Percy and the other guys. Several more of me are getting another little distraction together while an extra is helping to coordinate the traps and defenses with the girls. The main me, however, is busy with a personal project.
It is finally time to say goodbye.
--
(Zoe Nightshade POV)
After giving the hunters their orders, she decided to go off on her own to track down the son of Santa. She needed to finish her fight which Chiron had interrupted before. He won't have the centaur protecting him this time.
While he could be in a group with the other campers from Camp Halfblood, she could feel in her gut that he wasn't. Something told her that he wanted to settle this just as much as she did.
Her eyes caught a flash of movement from between the trees and she aimed her notched arrow in preparation for an attack. When the figure peaked out from behind a tree, she couldn't help but lower her bow.
"Zoe, come on!" Nick called out. "I wanted to show you something cool! It is hilarious how you are so fast in boots but put you in heels and you can barely move."
"Twas not my idea!" another figure calls out as it passed beneath her position. It was her. Or at least, it was her as she used to be. "Blame thy sister for this insufferable dress! My garments were sufficient, but she would not accept my decline."
"You can't blame Noel," Nick says with a smile. "I mean you physically can't. One look at her earns instant forgiveness from the sheer unstoppable power of her adorable innocence."
"Watch thyself," younger Zoe says. "Thou sound like a degenerate siscon."
"Oh please!" Nick snorts. "You can't tell me with a straight face that you don't want to run up and cuddle her the moment she enters a room. She might be my older half-sister, but goddamn is she lovable. It was so worth teaching you modern slang. There is nothing better than hearing someone say siscon like they are at a renaissance fair."
"Whatever entertains thyself," younger Zoe sighs as she follows her friend. "What is thy plan? Thou keeps avoiding my inquiries."
"It is almost here," Nick promises. "It is worth the wait, I promise."
She drops from the tree and walks after them. Each step seemed to take her away from the forests of Camp Halfblood and back to the wilderness around the Workshop in the North Pole. Soon, she steps out into a clearing filled with lights hanging from the trees in an incandescent web above her head. The endless lights cast a warm illumination down across the snowy floor which made it seem nothing short of magical.
"What do you think?" Nick asks. "Worth it?"
"Thou are lucky I tolerate thine antics," younger Zoe says in exasperation, but with a faint smile teasing her lips. "Is this it?"
"Of course not," he replies before snapping his fingers and a song starts up. "I never did get that dance I promised you at the party. Everything was so crazy during the celebration and Pops pulled me away to talk. Before I knew it, everyone was packing up. It felt wrong to break a promise like that. So, my lady, will you do me the honor of this dance?"
He had leaned forward in an over-exaggerated version of a bow which made her younger self crack up before returning it with a more elegant curtsey. "I would be delighted," younger Zoe says.
Nick held one of her hands in his before resting his other hand on her waist. Her younger self set her free hand on his shoulder before they began to sway.
"We get it almost every night.
When that ol' moon gets a big and bright.
It's a supernatural delight.
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight.
Everybody here is out of sight.
They don't bark and they don't bite.
They keep things loose, they keep things light.
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight."
As she watched the two move to the music, she felt a tug at her heart. She could remember his warmth as they danced. The feel of his arms around her. The hum of his voice as he sang along to the music.
One thing she never realized is how much she was smiling during the dance. However, part of her knew it was accurate.
"Dancin' in the moonlight.
Everybody's feelin' warm and right.
It's such a fine and natural sight.
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight.
We like our fun and we never fight.
You can't dance and stay uptight.
It's a supernatural delight.
Everybody was dancin' in the moonlight.
Everybody's feelin' warm and right.
It's such a fine and natural sight.
Everybody's dancin' in the moonlight."
The song continues but she hears the crunch of footsteps behind her. She turns to see a reindeer step out of the treeline before it transforms into the person she was looking for. He doesn't say anything at first. He just slows to a stop next to her and watched the memory for a moment.
"This is your work, is it not?" she asks, her words a clear accusation.
"Yes," he admits.
"Why?"
"Because I was curious," he replies. "I wanted to understand you a little bit. It just never made the most sense to me how everything ended. I saw you two when you came back from your hunt. You were, in my opinion, happy together. What changed?"
"Some paths are not fated in the stars," she says. "What is it of thy concern? Of thine own words, thou despised him."
"Not really despise," he says. "I said that more to get under your skin. For me and my siblings, we hated what he was, not who he was. To us, he would always be a symbol of Dad straying from his wife. It wasn't even like an actual affair. He was just so softhearted at times that he would magic a baby into a woman when she was wishing for it hard enough at Christmas. Nick was still a child with another woman, even if Dad didn't do the dirty. So, why did you hate him? Falling out because he tried to put the moves on you?"
"Twas not his folly," she mutters. "Oftentimes, there are duties one cannot stray from."
"Yeah, we were all surprised when Nick decided to leave the Workshop and the North Pole for good," he chuckles. "After all, he was the favorite."
"Favorite?" she asks before he elaborates.
"Dad is going to retire sooner or later," he says. "One day, he will hang up the red suit and one of his kids will take over. Nick was the front runner by a mile. Even if we knew he should get it, there was still a hint of resentment since he would be winning the legacy. We all had our roles to fill. Kristopher was born to maintain the sleigh and take care of the reindeer. Klaus is perfect for correlating data and compiling the lists. Noel is gifted with crafting toys and leading the elves. I deal with some of the naughtier folks during the yuletide season. Last but not least, Nick was supposed to take up the title. He loved the idea of giving gifts to those who deserved them. Dad saw the way his eyes would light up when a little girl saw her new doll or a boy unwrapped his favorite action figure. At the end of the day, there was no one better to ride the sleigh when the time came."
"Twould have been the highest honor for one of thy bloodline," she says. "What force could have led him to turn his back on such a gift?"
"He found something greater," he replies as he nods to the dancing pair. "He found you. What is so great about the hunt? That is something I could never wrap my head around. It sounds like hell to me."
"A man could never comprehend," she scoffs. "Tis is a home for the abandoned, betrayed, and broken. Lady Artemis guides lost souls and grants them higher purpose. Through her blessing, my sisters ascend beyond their former shackles."
"She is a leech," he says. He holds up a hand to halt her angry retort until he finishes. "She surrounds herself with broken dolls with missing pieces and children who have seen so little of the world. Then, she tells them that they can only trust her and the hunt. She shapes their world around this sisterhood and makes it the cornerstone of their existence. She turns you against all men, no matter how pure hearted they might be. She casts out any hunter that is led astray. It doesn't matter if it was their fault. I remember a story where Zeus tricked a hunter into sleeping with him. At one point before he sealed the deal, he even revealed himself. It was at that point that he had the hunter make a choice. Either she could confess her failure to Artemis or she could sleep with him to hide the secret. Her fear of failing her goddess made her choose to cast aside the very beliefs that she was taught to live by. What happened when her pregnancy was discovered?"
"She was cast out from the hunt," she says.
"Don't forget the worst part," he says. "Artemis didn't even do her that dignity. In her eyes, the hunter had become little more than an animal. So, she turned the pregnant woman into a bear. The thing no one understands about the twin gods is that their symbols say a lot about them. Apollo is like the sun. He is bright, consistent, and impossible to ignore. He warms you and pushes back the dark but he can burn you if you are not careful. In comparison, his sister is a pale reflection of that light. Her light is cold and distant, illuminating but detached from the world."
"Thou act like she is inhuman," she retorts.
"She is," he replies. "All of the gods are, but they crave humanity nonetheless. They want to be powerful but human, mortal but immortal. They want the vibrant splendor of human life for eternity. Artemis only shows this through her hunt. She keeps you all around like dolls. She admires you on her shelf, dresses you in pretty outfits, plays with you and tells you little stories. Except, sometimes one of you breaks. Sure, it is a shame that she lost one of her dolls, but there is more where that one came from. Other times, she gets bored. One of her toys doesn't play along with the game and she trashes it before it taints the rest. That is all you are to her. You are not her daughters or her companions. You are toys she uses to act out her happy little story. Women are good and boys are bad. That is your grand purpose to your goddess. Fodder for her ego."
"Thou know not of which thy speak," she says. "We are akin to family."
"You have seen how she treats her family," he counters. "Do you think Apollo became the way he is by fate? Do you think that a god of the sun is supposed to be flighty and flaky, a man whore who can never commit? She made him that way. Over the centuries, that is the story she painted for him. After all, what better way to demonstrate the purity of a maiden than by her twin being a typical disgusting man? In the beginning, I bet he acted that way to get her to pay attention to him. He was playing the part so his sister would acknowledge him and give him the time of day. Yet, day after day, year after year, his legend slowly began to change with his actions and her lies until the playboy was all that was left. Gods are shaped by the minds of mortals. What else would happen if they all saw him that way? It was his destiny the moment he was born as her brother."
"But you, you are more like a pet," he continues. "Something to be cherished and pampered. Your lives are filled with loving words and kind comfort. However, one day, you will all die. Sure, she will be sad that you are gone for a time. No one is so cold hearted that they wouldn't care when their dog dies. However, she will get over it and fill the space in her hunt with another idealistic girl who believes in her poison that men are the enemy and women are the answer."
"Is that the source of thy distaste for the hunt?" she asks. "Because of Artemis?"
"No, I hate it because you are cowards running from life," he answers. "Life is pain. It hurts from the day you are born until the day you are dead and buried. It is a constant struggle to keep your head above water and keep moving forward. It is dirty and hard and it makes you want to give up every step of the way. Everyone in the hunt is living an eternal fairytale. They never change, they never grow, and they never live. It is like a little shell that you refuse to leave. Why get hurt when you can stay nice and safe?"
"What is the fault in that?" she questions.
"A life of safety isn't a life worth living," he says. "Every day we take one more step to our death. Do you know what that means? Every step that we take is one less that we have tomorrow. Every day matters because it could be the last one we ever live. Life is full of missed chances, but that makes the victories all the sweeter. We only learn through failure and heartache. It takes losing something to make us appreciate what we have. If you live forever in the trauma of your youth, you never have the chance to overcome it. You are all hiding from life. You never take a chance on it and decided that the world doesn't have anything for you. You never date, you never get married, or have kids. You never struggle to pay the bills, forget to pick your kid up from soccer practice, or change a tire on the side of the highway. You never write a book, never go backpacking across Europe, and never stay up late cooking the perfect dinner for Thanksgiving. You never get to grow old and look back on the beautiful mess of a life you lived with pride. What kind of life is an eternal one? Life only has meaning because it ends. A story needs an ending before you can truly appreciate the journey. I hope you can understand it before you find yourself empty and bitter like the gods."
She catches something as he tosses it to her. It was a snowglobe. Inside, there was a little wolf figure sitting on a grassy hill surrounded by the resting snow. She looks up at the man as the memory around them fades and the clearing is dark once more.
"Maybe you can figure it out with that," he comments. "Nick really did leave you one gift from beyond the grave."
His form fades into snowflakes which scatter through the wind. In a moment, she was alone in the forest once more.
The horn bellows through the air, but she doesn't pay it any notice. Instead, her eyes rest on the gift from a dead man. One she betrayed with her own hand. What could he have left for the one who broke his heart?
--
(Nico Di Angelo POV)
He didn't know why Kringle chose him for this role, but he didn't want to let the older boy down. In order for this plan to work, he had to make it all the way from the Hunters' flag site to the creek. Kringle said that it was the best shot they had since his absence would likely go unnoticed by the hunters and campers. That is why he had hidden underground where Kringle predicted the flag would be overnight. The boy had wrapped him in magically heated blankets, strapped a watch to his wrist, gave him a granola bar and a water bottle, and told him to hold it as long as he could. Apparently, if he relieved himself, it would interfere with the scent camouflage to hid him from the wolves.
God, he wished he could pee.
It was the mercy of God that the watch finally flashed with an alarm when he was considering if this was all worth it. He pushed up through the thin layer of dirt and snow above him until his head popped out of the forest floor. He looked around only to see the flagpole right next to him with the orange flag waving proudly with the insignia of Camp Halfblood. Apparently, the flag protected by the campers had the Hunters' symbol and colors. He was just happy that they didn't stab it into him when they were burying it. A foot to the side and he would have been a demigod shish-kebab.
He would have just taken the cloth flag itself, but Kringle had told him to take the flag, pole and all. He said there was something symbolically powerful about carrying an army's colors through battle proudly. Not one to argue with someone he respects, he did his best to pull the flag out of the ground before it finally came loose from the frozen soil.
It was kind of unwieldy to run through the forest carrying a long flagpole, but he couldn't say that something didn't feel right about it. The feeling was almost reminiscent of the World War II movies he had seen where the American soldiers are holding up a flag even in the heat of battle. So this is what that felt like, huh.
As he runs, he sees a hunter who noticed him. She was aiming her bow at him and releases the shot. He flinches in fear only to hear a metallic ring. Kringle was standing beside him with a silver shield blocking the arrow.
"Don't you have a flag to deliver and a game to win?" the white haired boy asks with a smile visible through his white facemask. "Better get a move on."
Kringle pulls out a green Christmas tree ornament which he shakes up. The ornament begins to swirl with red before the older boy throws it towards the hunter. The girl barely dives out of the way before it explodes in a blast of green and red sparks like a yuletide firework.
He immediately listens and starts running harder as Kringle goes to fight the hunter. Despite his faster pace, it isn't long before another hunter has him in her sights. Except this time, it was a reindeer that scoops the girl up with its antlers before tossing her to the side.
Not one to look a gift reindeer in the mouth, he just accepts his good luck and keeps on trucking.
It quickly becomes clear that these are not isolated events. Every time a hunter would get close to stopping him, Kringle would show up in some shape or form and delay the hunter so he could run unobstructed. It was particularly apparent when there were three separate Kringles all fighting hunters. The only difference was that one had a shield, one had two batons, and the last had a bow and arrows.
"Why are you helping me so much?" he asks the baton one as it holds back the knives of an aggressive hunter. "Why don't you just win yourself?"
"What's the point of winning if you could do it easy?" Kringle replies. "This is your moment, Nico. Let's see what you are made of. It is the time to nut up or shut up. Which one are you going to do?"
Kringle just laughs as he sprints with renewed fervor to the creek which divides the battlefield. The hunters had caught on soon enough that the game was almost lost and they swarmed to block him off. Without Kringle to protect him, he dodges and weaves through the trees as the hunters fire in the direction of the flag. His serpentine path helped him avoid the arrows, but many of them got too close for comfort.
When he broke through the treeline bordering the creek, his heart dropped when the entire area was filled with hunters. There was no chance of getting through, not when it was just him. Kringle might have had a chance, but what was a wimp like him going to do?
"If you are going to cheat, do it like a man!" Kringle shouts from above him. He looks up to see the three Kringles falling through the air and slam on the ground. A huge blast of ice shoots out around them as the ground is frozen in a massive wave. "Don't outnumber! You overpower!"
The ice rises in two massive walls that push the hunters aside and clear a path forward. It swells and forms a long ramp between the walls that leads up over the creek. The way forward was clear now.
He runs with everything he has over the ice. His shoes keep trying to slip, but he pushes through it as he begins to ascend the crystalline path. His feet pound on the ramp with the last dregs of his stamina as he puts his all into this one last test. It is time to nut up or shut up.
When he reaches the end of the ramp, he doesn't even think. He puts his foot against the edge and he leaps forward. The thought of a safe landing didn't even cross his mind. His only thought was to win this for the guy who believed in him.
His vision is suddenly clouded in a massive flurry of white as he slams down on the other side of the creek. He looks around to see that he had landed in a jumbo pile of snow which managed to soften his fall. In a rush of panic, he realizes he dropped the flag and tries to find it. That is when he sees that it had landed perfectly so that it was planted in the ground and the Camp Halfblood standard was waving high.
A horn blares across the forest as the hunters cry out in dismay and he could hear the far off cheers of the campers. He did it? He did it!
"Good job, kid," Kringle says as he pats him on the head. "Hell of a win. I knew it was a great idea to bet on you."
"I didn't even think I could do it," he mutters in amazement.
"That is why I am paid the big bucks," Kringle jokes. "Now, come on! We have a victory feast to enjoy! Let's see if we can find some cute girls your age to give you some celebration kisses. Girls love a hero!"
He could feel his face turn red with a blush. "We don't have to do that," he tries to say. "I think I want to take a nap instead."
"Too late!" the white haired boy says with a laugh. "By the way, we should probably stop by a bathroom first. You didn't have a chance to piss for a while, so you are probably ready to pop. Then again, from the yellow snow you just left behind, I think it is less of an issue now."
He whirls around to see perfectly white snow where he crashed. His face burns with even more embarrassment as Kringle cackles with laughter. He can't believe he fell for that.
--
Author's note:
Another chapter bites the dust! This was a fun one for me to write. Half of the reason I had Kringle's first name be Kenneth is because I wanted to somehow manage to slip in an 'I'm Just Ken' musical number. I doubt any of you are angry about that. I know I'm not.
Some more time was spent fleshing out the tattered bond between our boy and his old friend. I want to take the time to show that they genuinely had something special before it all went to shit.
Nico had his hero moment winning the game for Camp Halfblood. It was also a neat way to have so many Kringles running around at once.
Also, I would just like to say that I personally think of my character as Nick. This is his preferred name to go by in the story as well. However, all of his names are known in different parts of the world for different reasons, so Kringle is the only one left without connections.
Feel free to write me a review and let me know how I did. I am practically fueled by reviews, so don't be shy. I always make sure to take all reviews to heart and respond to any questions at the beginning of each chapter.
If you liked the story and want to keep up to date, favorite and follow to get notifications when new chapters are released.
If you are interested in my other work, you can find my stories through my profile.
A pleasure as always,
Titan900
Current Favorites: 40, Current Follows: 46, Current Reviews: 11