Final Project
XVI.
"Everybody be trippin', tellin' me—things I don't wanna hear. But Baby, they're not gonna see me cry, no, not one single tear, 'cause I know, Baby, not a single word is true, true, true…"
Tori sat on her bed and listened as Andre sang her his newest song that he wrote not even forty-eight hours ago. She knew she should be trying harder to force a smile, but his trusting, loving words that usually made her heart feel warm was instead making her ice cold, because it was a lie.
The whole thing's a lie…
Tori had a hard time getting up the nerve to call Andre after she got out of the shower, and truthfully, she wasn't even sure what she was hoping for during the conversation. Did she want Andre to be so mad at her that he yelled, which would in turn make her blurt out that she thought they should break up? Did she want Andre to show his anger through silence, which would allow her to say they should break it off? Or did she want to see the same gentle, understanding Andre that she was used to that would make it all the more difficult for her to say anything?
Well, needless to say, she got the latter of those "wants." When she first called him, he went off about how Jade is as insecure as ever, told her that he was worried about her when she didn't call back in so long, and then proceeded to sing her his newest song. And none of that presented her with an opening to even begin explaining…anything.
"I wrote that in under forty minutes," Andre told her once the song ended. He put his guitar aside and, still smiling warmly at her, asked: "So tell me about what you've been up to."
"Umm…" Tori's hands started to get sweaty, "You mean these past couple days?"
Andre chuckled, "I don't know what else I would mean."
Tori tried to return the playful laugh, but it came out short and dry, "Well…I went to Club Dragon to see Shiori perform…and she was so great! You would have loved hearing her! And then I sang one song and—."
"Oh yeah?" Andre's eyes brightened, "How'd that go?"
Tori finally smiled for real as she relived that moment when she was on stage, "Oh man, it was so awesome! I sang the only English song in that place but everybody loved it anyway! It was even slightly more exciting than when I performed for the PMAs."
Andre raised an eyebrow, "Wow, really? But the PMAs were like…in front of a million people. And it was more exciting performing at a club?"
"Well…yeah," Tori twirled a piece of hair around her finger, knowing that what she was saying sounded very odd, "I dunno, there was just a certain…rush that came with performing at Club Dragon. I wasn't expecting to do it, and Shiori just called me up on stage…"
"Wish I coulda been there…" Andre said, sounding slightly defeated, but then he perked up again really quick, "Hey, maybe if I look up the club's site I'll find a video of you that someone recorded. You think?"
"Eh…heh…maybe," Tori said slowly, feeling nervous about what else Andre might see if someone did indeed post a video. She knew that she and Beck didn't kiss at all at the club, but their dirty dancing could be just as bad, if not worse…
"I'll look it up later. Tell me more."
"Um…okay, well yesterday we—," Tori got interrupted when someone knocked on her door. She tensed up, knowing that it had to be Beck. And it was a little after eight-thirty, so she was sure Andre was going to be wondering why Beck was coming over to her room so late at night.
"Is someone knocking at your door?" Andre asked, mostly because Tori just continued to sit there instead of answering the door.
"What? I didn't hear anyth—," but before she could finish her obvious lie, more knocking sounded throughout the room, this time pretty loud. Sighing inwardly, she stood up slowly, "Yeah, hold on a sec..."
Tori hurried over to the door, opening it just a pinch so Andre wouldn't be able to see who stood outside, "Hey Beck, now's not a—," But she was cut off again when the door suddenly flew open, but she was more than relieved when it was only Shiori.
"Tori-chan, where in the world have you been?" Shiori yelled, her hands up in the air, "I was so worried about you and Beck and you were never here every time I—."
"I tried calling you multiple times," Tori interjected while trying to get her to calm down, "You never answered any of my calls."
"I accidentally lost my phone at the club Saturday night," Shiori explained but held up another phone, "I just got a new one today, but I couldn't remember the numbers on yours or Beck's phones for the life of me." She stopped and unexpectedly threw her arms around Tori, bringing her into a tight hug, "But I was so scared that something happened to you guys. The last time I saw you guys you were dancing like—."
Knowing that Andre was listening right behind her, Tori didn't want her saying anything further on the subject, "Yeah, we just decided to go exploring yesterday and got a bit lost."
"Well, geez Tori-chan, that was kinda stupid," Shiori said bluntly then happened to spot the computer on the bed, "Oh. Hello there! I'm Shiori!"
Tori closed her eyes as Shiori walked around her to her computer to introduce herself to Andre. I swear, if she says anything…
Andre gave a brief wave, "Andre. Nice to finally meet who Tori's been talking about all this time."
"Oh...same…here," Shiori slowly said, making Tori squeeze her eyes shut tighter when she heard the obvious falsehood in her voice. Tori started to make her way over to the computer to change the subject when Shiori turned around quickly and grabbed Tori's forearms tightly, "Oh my God, Tori-chan, you'll never guess what happened Saturday night after you and Beck left!"
Though Tori still felt a bit awkward with Shiori saying Beck's name in front of Andre, she tried to show just as much excitement, "What happened?"
"A guy from Danger Crue Records was there…which is like…one of the top eight major record labels in Japan! He said he loved all my songs and wanted to cut a deal with me!"
This time, Tori truly did get excitement and grabbed onto Shiori in a similar fashion, "No way! That's so awesome, when are you gonna start recording?"
"Tomorrow!" Shiori squealed but killed it quickly, "Oh, but that's not even the best part!"
Andre suddenly piped up, "Tori's gonna get to sing a duet with you?"
Shiori turned to face Tori's boyfriend, staring at him in surprise. But then she put on a flirtatious smile and waved him off playfully, "Well don't we have a smart guy on our hands?"
Tori's mind was whirling, so she was at first confused about what was actually being said, "Wait…they want me to record a song with you?"
"Isn't that great?" Shiori yelled again.
Smiling from the computer, Andre leaned closer to the screen, "Hey Shiori, since I can't do it, can you spin Tori around in a congratulatory circle for me?"
And with greater ease than anyone was expecting, Shiori picked Tori up and spun her around a few times, causing all three of them to laugh.
"What's going on in here?" Beck asked from the doorway, smiling when he saw the two girls acting silly, "I can hear you guys screaming from three doors down."
Tori froze while Shiori rushed toward him, "I got a record deal and Tori's gonna record a song with me!" Shiori stared at him inquisitively for a moment, "You a good singer? 'Cause if you are, I might let you join in…just so…you know, you don't feel left out."
Beck pointed his finger at her like he was about to take her up on that, but then responded with: "You know, I think I'll pass. But…" He pulled out a notepad from his back pocket and handed it to her, "I would like to be the first to get your autograph before you have to sign millions."
Shiori blushed and cupped her face with her hands while bending a knee to raise a foot up, "Aww, how sweet! I'd love to!" Shiori snatched the notepad from him and began to scribble away.
"Hey Beck!" Andre called out, leaning to the one side of the screen to try to see Beck better, "How's it goin'?"
"Oh, hey…Andre," Beck called back, peering around Shiori at the computer than over at Tori. He saw how worried she looked and she gave a quick shake of the head, silently telling him to please not say anything, so Beck promptly kicked in his acting abilities, "It's goin' good. Enjoyin' Japan as much as I can."
"Man, Beck, you need to do something about your girlfriend," Andre started, looking half pissed and half exhausted, "Because you didn't talk to her in a few days she started going wacko…and I mean, a little more than usual. I'm surprised she didn't catch a plane to Japan yet."
"Umm…" Beck took back the notepad that Shiori handed to him, smacking it in his one hand to try to ease the atmosphere, "Yeah, I'll take care of her. Sorry if she bothered you."
Ander chuckled, "You make her sound like a dog."
"Wait, you have a girlfriend?" Shiori intervened, pointing at Beck with a weird expression, "So…you and Tori just—."
"Jade can definitely act like one at times," Beck interrupted, giving her a look that said to shut it. Shiori just raised her eyebrows in an "Okaaay then…." kind of look. "Anyway, now that I know no one is being beaten to death over here, I'm gonna head back to my room. Later guys," Beck saluted with one finger and promptly left the room.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Tori-chan!" Shiori said, waving behind her as she ran out the door after Beck, making sure to shut the door.
"What the heck is going on with you guys?" Shiori asked as soon as she was sure she wouldn't be heard from inside Tori's room.
Beck sighed as he pulled out his room key, "It's a bit complicated right now, but I really don't want to talk about it."
Shiori stopped, not looking to pressure him to talk, "Well okay, but I hope you get it uncomplicated soon. You could cut the tension in that room with a spoon…Ha! I just made a rhyme!"
Back in Tori's room, she sat down on the bed again, feeling drained from all the mental drama, "Sorry about all the interruptions."
Andre smiled, "It's cool. And Shiori seems really nice…like…Cat-nice."
Tori nodded and returned the smile, "Yeah, Beck and I thought the same thing."
"Yeah…" Andre trailed off for a minute, folding in his lips as he considered how to say his next thing, "Listen, about you and Beck…" Tori felt her heart drop into her stomach. "Maybe you guys should chill out on hanging out so much."
This is it…Tori thought, feeling her pulse and heart rate increase as she got ready for some unneeded fight that could possibly cause the end of their relationship. And as she started talking, she knew she sounded completely ridiculous, "Oh, what Andre! You think we're sneaking around too?"
Andre held up his hands in defense, looking pretty surprised that Tori snapped like that, "No…Tori, I didn't mean it like that!"
Tori crossed her arms and glared, "Then what did you mean? 'Cause it sounds to me like you're trying to keep me from hanging out with a friend."
"Damn, Tor…chill out," Andre said, "What's gotten into you? I'm just saying that maybe you and Beck shouldn't hang out late at night for awhile until Jade chills out with her suspicions."
"You think Beck and I are having late night meetings?" Tori yelled a bit more loudly than she first intended, and now she thought she sounded just like how a guilty person would sound.
"Well…I mean, you guys are hanging out late, that's why it's been hard for me and Jade to catch you guys on video chat. I'm not saying you guys should stop site-seeing during the day or anything. It's just…Jade's really concerned is all."
"Oh, so now the truth comes out!" Tori said sarcastically, "You're only worried about Jade, is that right? I guess after all this time you—."
"Tori! Stop!" Andre yelled, looking sincerely scared and confused now, "Why you flippin' out? Aren't you concerned about Beck and Jade's relationship at all?"
"No, but I see I should be concerned with ours!"
Andre was now speechless. How in the world did this conversation turn into…this? "What are you talking about, Baby Girl? You don't even sound like yourself…"
Tori glared at him a moment longer before averting her eyes away. And she felt herself losing it. He was right…she didn't sound like herself and it always killed her to try to be someone she's not. She uncrossed her arms and sighed in defeat, "I'm sorry, Andre…I don't know what got into me…"
Whereas Andre still looked perturbed by her outburst, he nodded slightly, "It's…fine. I can see how Jade continuously accusing you of cheating can be nerve-racking. Just…please don't do that again. You're scary when you do."
Though he said the last part to try to be funny, Tori felt completely awful in that she just totally acted like a gank to Andre and he forgave her in a second. Why did he have to be so nice?
"Maybe you need to get some rest," Andre offered, "You just got back to your hotel a little bit ago, so just try to get some sleep. Call me in the morning when you wake up, kay?"
Tori bit her bottom lip and nodded, "I'll do that."
"Great. Goodnight, Baby Girl and…oh, I love you." He smiled and winked at her.
Tori tried to smile, but it only became a small tug on her lips, "Love you, too, Andre. Goodnight."
Once she closed her laptop, she flopped back on her back and stared up at the ceiling. She felt like she accomplished nothing but digging herself into a deeper hole. She kind of wanted to go over and talk to Beck, but at the same time, she didn't. What if he was talking to Jade? Or anyone else? Would it look suspicious if she came over to his room so late at night for no particular reason?
Then she thought about texting him, but texting didn't seem appropriate for the moment. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, for her, Beck texted her first.
Beck: Hey, tell me when I can come back over.
Tori closed her eyes and tilted her head further back into her pillow. Tell me when I can come back over…Sneaking around was so dirty, they each had to literally always worry about who the other was talking to before they could make their next move. But since he sent that text, she was assuming that he wasn't talking to anyone, so got up and left her room to go to his.
"It's over," she told him as soon as he opened his door.
Beck looked concerned for her, "You ended it with Andre…?"
Tori shook her head, "No, I'm ending it with you. I know I said this a few nights ago, but I'm serious this time. We can't be—."
He cut her off when he grabbed her face and kissed her on the lips. He pressed their bodies together, the feel of Tori's lips and body against his becoming more familiar and addicting. And though she immediately responded by moving her lips with his, her arms remained limp at her sides.
Due to this, he broke the kiss, but instantly regretted it when her next words left her pretty mouth…: "Tomorrow, we'll act like none of this ever happened." And it wasn't a question, nor was it a proposal. It was a demand. So without waiting for a response, she turned away from him and went into her room without looking back at him. She hurried over to her bed, trying desperately not to spill any tears until the pillow could catch them.
Beck slumped against the wall, staring at her door like he was expecting her to come bursting back out at any second. But she never did. And he didn't even know what to think. Should he pound on her door until she answered so they could talk about this? Should he try to convince her to stay here with him like he first proposed? Or should he just let it go? If they did forget about it like she said, then they wouldn't have to worry about lying to anyone anymore…but did he want to choose that over being truly happy with Tori?
He pushed himself away from the wall and walked back into his room. Guess we're gonna remain star-crossed.
But something told him not to get all depressed about it yet. After all, they still had two weeks together…
The next day, Shiori came and got Tori when she was ready to head over to start recording for the record label. And of course, they brought Beck along, and they both made sure, Tori especially, to keep the conversation friendly and not awkward. But her and Shiori were so engrossed by getting a bilingual song down that figuring out how to act around Beck was not a huge worry. Though she could feel his eyes on her the whole damn time…
They ended up spending most of the day in the recording studio. They only stopped for food and drink breaks, but once the record guys played back their finished product, they had to admit, it was worth all the effort.
"And to think, I still have the rest of my album to make," Shiori giggled. "Oh, and by the way, my friend Kaori is throwing a party for me on Thursday night. And since it's meant to congratulate me on my record deal, I only think it's right if you come, too."
"Oh…Thursday?" Tori bit her lip, glancing over at Beck who was trying to talk to one of the record guys who spoke very little English, "That seems like an odd day to have a party."
"Well, I have to work at Shi-chan's on Friday night, and I'm performing at Club Dragon again on Saturday night, so Thursday's the best day to do it," Shiori explained but then looked at Tori oddly, "Why, do you guys have something else planned that night?"
"Um, no, I was just…" Tori looked down and pushed her hair behind her ear, "gonna talk to Andre that night."
Shiori rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, "Oh, come on!" She yelled so loud that Beck and a few of the record label guys looked over at them, "You'll get to talk to him all you want when you go back home. Besides…" Shiori grinned and knocked Tori's side with her elbow, "It'll give you some time with Beck again."
Tori glared, "And that's why I shouldn't go!" She was about to walk away but Shiori quickly grabbed her arm.
"Tori-chan! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!" She let go of her arm when she saw she wasn't going to go anywhere, "But I still would really like you to come. So you can meet some of my friends and just…you know, enjoy yourself. That's all."
Tori sighed and glanced over at Beck, finding that he was staring at her. But he didn't look away when their eyes met. It caused her heart to race and she looked back at Shiori, "Okay, I'll be there."
Later that night, when Tori and Beck got back to the hotel, Tori stopped at her room as Beck continued down to his without even stopping.
Needless to say, this broke her heart. Was he now just going to dismiss all goodnights and separate from her as if he didn't even know her? She said she wanted things to go back to normal, not become detached …
"You're coming to the party on Thursday, right?" she asked before he could enter his room.
Beck paused as he was about to stick his room key in the lock, slowly turning his head toward her, "I'm…not sure. I just might stay in that night and you can go have fun with Shiori."
Tori's heart was sinking lower and lower, growing smaller and smaller, "Well, I mean…just because it's for her record deal doesn't mean you aren't invited."
Beck smiled, "I know. Anyway, 'night, Tori." And with that, he unlocked his door and stepped inside his room. Once inside, he threw his room key with as much force and anger as he could muster, knowing that was one of the few things he could throw without causing serious damage to the items around him. But his mind was the thing that caused the damage within him. He knew Tori was just trying to be nice, but inviting him to a party was sending him mixed messages. And he wasn't sure if he should try to make a move on her again or wait until she came to him…
And Tori stood stunned at her door. Her body was like ice but her eyes brimmed with hot tears, and she hated herself for ever allowing the two of them to kiss in the first place. Whereas it first brought them together, it was now pulling them apart and the distance tugged at her heart like a sad song.
She slowly unlocked her door, wondering if things would ever mend between the two of them.