Final Project
XXXIII.
"Welcome home, my little gofers!" Sikowitz greeted his class as he came in through the door by the stage, "I'm as excited to hear about your trips as you are to tell them. Who wants to go first?!" He jumped up on the stage just to sit down on the side and place his chin in his hands.
The class just stared at him. It didn't surprise anyone that he didn't notice the odd seating arrangement. Andre was in the far back by the window, Jade was also in the back, but in the seat farthest away from Andre, Cat and Robbie sat randomly in the middle of the room, and Beck and Tori were seated next to each other in the front row.
When a minute passed and still no one answered, Sikowitz looked deeply concerned, "Oh no…we're missing someone, aren't we? Was someone mistaken as a dog and eaten in some foreign country?!"
Finally, Cat piped up, "No, but I ate bull's balls as an appetizer!"
No one cared who was mad at whom for a moment; they all turned to stare awkwardly at Cat.
"Ew…" Tori whispered harshly, her lips turned down in disgust.
Seeing Tori's face, Jade spoke loudly, "Bet you'll never guess what Tori did with balls."
And just like that, all eyes were on Tori. Her face instantly turned a deep red as she sunk low in her seat and covered her eyes with her hand.
"Jade, nobody wants to hear your nauseating comments," Andre said with detest, crossing his arms and staring out the window.
"Oh, it's not a comment…it's the truth. Tell us, Tori. Tell us all about what you did with—."
"Shut up, Jade!" Beck yelled from his seat without even turning around.
"I dare you to come back here and make me!"
Cat gasped and covered her ears and closed her eyes, "No fighting!"
Robbie, worried about Cat more than anything, glanced around at all his friends, "Can't we all just get along?"
Beck piped up again: "There would be no fighting if people could just keep their mouths shut."
Jade, getting angrier by the second, leaned forward in her seat, "There would be no fighting if people could keep their legs shut!"
Suddenly, Andre shot up from his seat so fast that the chair fell backwards. Everyone (save Tori) looked at him expectantly for his retaliation, and he truly looked like her wanted to give it, but no words were forming. Eventually, he just waved his arms at everyone as if trying to wish them all away, before turned and exiting the classroom.
His departure left everyone speechless again. Sikowitz was left to speculate in his crazy head what had happened to his brightest students in the past three weeks, "I'm so glad I'm not a teenager anymore…not that I can remember my teen years…"
Beck shook his head at his teacher before looking over at Tori who was still hiding her flushed face. He hated not being able to do anything, because he knew if he put an arm around her that Jade would just continue with her harsh words. Sitting next to her was probably making it pretty hard for her to relax, so he tried whispering to her without being obvious; "You can leave if you want to."
Tori sighed lowly. She wanted to, but she would have to walk past Jade in order to exit the room and she didn't want Jade to see her glassy eyes.
It's not even ten minutes into first period and already Jade's made my life a living hell…
"What's the matter, Vega?" Jade's voice dripped with bitterness, "Don't know what to say now if you're not screaming my boyfriend's name?"
"Jade…!" Beck started, but stopped when Tori stood up.
Tori couldn't take it anymore…this humiliation that Jade was putting her through in front of her friends, her nameless classmates, and her teacher was getting to be too much. She turned and walked straight toward Jade. Jade stood up when Tori reached her, ready to throw back whatever punch came her way.
But Tori didn't swing her fists. Nor did she try to kick. She just stared into Jade's eyes with pity and sorrow.
"Jade, I'm sorry for the way things turned out…I…I…" But she started stumbling on her words. Seeing the hatred staring back at her was leaving her at a loss for words…and at the worst possible time. But really, what words could she say that would change any given circumstance? She couldn't even imagine being on Jade's side of the fence. How would she feel if she found out Jade and Andre were the ones having an affair? Would she be so forgiving to either one of them?
Tori turned around to see Beck standing up in case he had to break up a fight. His eyes widened when he saw the emptiness in her tearful orbs.
"I'm sorry," Tori said again, looking right into his eyes, before turning and leaving the classroom.
"Tori!" Beck tried to call after her but she was already halfway down the hall. He walked to the door, also, but Jade stepped in front of him.
"Guess whose arms she's going to run back to?"
"Jade? Get over it!" Beck yelled, finally snapping. He left the room just in time to see the front doors of the school close shut. He ran to the doors, hoping that Tori wasn't thinking about ending things between them just because of what Jade said.
He knew he should have predicted it, but he just didn't think Jade would be as cruel as she was being. He supposed it was just hopeful wishing…hoping that Jade would ignore them at best, but leaving them alone seemed to be the last thing on her list.
Beck pushed on the doors to open them to the bright morning sunshine. He saw Tori standing in the middle of the road, looking down the road. Her chestnut hair sparkled in the sun as it fell in waves over her shoulders. In her tight jeans and purple jacket, she looked like she belonged anywhere but California.
"Tori…"
She turned her head towards him, determination in her sunburned eyes, "Drive me to Andre's."
Beck nodded once, digging out his keys as they started walking to his car, "Let's go."
Half the drive was in silence. They both had a rough morning and just needed some time to think. But eventually, when Beck couldn't read the look in Tori's eyes, he had to ask, "What are you thinking about?"
Tori sighed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, "I'm thinking about how stupidly we did things. How we should have known better…how we did know better and yet that still didn't stop us…"
Beck didn't answer…he wondered if she was lecturing him.
She continued: "But I'm also thinking about how I wouldn't trade what we did for the world. I don't want to feel ashamed about what we did. Which is why I have to talk to Andre…I need to ask him a few things—like what Jade told him before he caught us. And I need to tell him my side of the story. I know he won't forgive me, but I just…" she stopped and looked out the window. Beck thought that was the end of it, but then he heard her say: "I need to tell him that I love you."
Beck swallowed hard, thanking God that she wasn't planning on ending things, but wondering if she was approaching Andre the right way by telling him this.
Tori seemed to read his mind, "I need him to know that this is more than a fling with a guy I had a crush on two years ago."
Gripping the steering wheel, he looked out his driver's side window briefly, "What made you so brave all of a sudden?" He looked over at her to see her giving him a surprised-like-glare. This made him chuckle shortly, "Sorry, Tor, you know I didn't mean it like that."
She gave a small smile, "I know. I guess…I guess it's because I'm leaving for New York in a few months. I don't want to take any unfinished things with me."
Beck got quiet again. They had yet to talk about that part of their future. Beck got offered a scholarship to The New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts, so he could move to New York with her, but is that what she wanted?
He knew that was definitely a discussion for later, because he was pulling up next to Andre's house now and this was not the place to bring it up. They both noticed his black car parked in front of them.
"Did you need me to go with you?" Beck asked, even though he already knew the answer.
Tori shook her head, "Nah…getting him to talk to one of us is going to be challenging enough."
Beck tried to laugh but his body only shook slightly and his lips pulled up a bit, "Well…good luck."
She only smiled, then leaned over to give him a chaste yet lingering kiss, "I'll see you back at your place a little later?"
He nodded and watched her get out of his car. As soon as she started walking toward the porch, Beck slowly drove away. He didn't want Tori to think he doubted her…and he knew that she meant well when she talked about the things she wanted to tell Andre, but he couldn't help but think that maybe there was a different way for her to tell him. Or maybe not. He couldn't say for sure. That's basically what he told Jade on video chat less than a week ago.
But that relationship was completely unfixable.
Tori heavily went up the four steps that led to the porch, wondering if Andre heard her get out of the car and already peered out the window to see that it was her. But when she got up close to the door, what she heard made her change her wonderings. Andre was playing on his guitar. It wasn't super loud, but she knew how focused he could get when he's trying to write a new lyric or tune.
Breathing in deeply, Tori raised her fist to the door, paused briefly, but then knocked loudly three times before she had time to run away. She instantly heard the music stop.
"Who is it?" she heard him call out from inside.
She didn't say anything…she thought if she gave herself away, that he wouldn't even both answering the door.
Her plan failed anyway. After Andre waited a few seconds with no response, he said, "Go away, Tori, I don't want to talk."
Tori was at first shocked, but then realized that there was no one else that would knock on his door and then not answer who it was. Or at least respond in some way.
"Please, Andre? I really want to explain myself…"
She heard no movement from inside.
She sighed, "I just…I just really need to apologize to you. You have to understand that it's not like I don't feel complete regret for hurting you the way that I did, but…I can't regret doing what I did with Beck. I've waited so long for him that—."
Tori jumped when the door suddenly swung open. Andre was standing there with fury in his eyes, "'You waited for him for so long?' What the hell is that supposed to mean? That—."
"What did Jade tell you?" Tori interrupted, glad that she could talk to Andre face to face now.
But that didn't last long. He stared, shocked, at her, not sure if he should feel even more infuriated at her for changing the subject. He went to slam the door shut.
"No, wait…!" Tori yelled when she saw what he was doing. She stepped forward to try to stop the door, but her hand wasn't quick enough and her face was the thing that took the bullet. She screamed and gasped loudly, reaching her hands up to cover her throbbing nose, "Oh God, not again…" She thought back to when Cat punched her in the nose for kissing Danny. She really had to stop with that…her nose couldn't take anymore.
Andre swung the door open again, his eyes wide at what he just did, "Aw man, are you okay? Let me see." Tori reluctantly took her hands away from her face, but as soon as she saw Andre scrunch his face up and hiss through his teeth, she quickly covered it again.
Sighing, Andre walked further into the house, which was his kitchen, to get a rag. Taking this as an opportunity, Tori stepped inside and closed the door behind her. She watched as Andre dropped five ice cubes onto the rag and then rolled it up tight. When he walked over to her to hand the homemade icepack to her, she took it slowly while asking, "What did Jade say to you?"
Andre held up his hands and backed away from her, "Look, it was your own fault for stepping into the door like that. I don't owe you anything."
"I know, but I'm here, so can't you at least talk to me?" She asked, and she realized she sounded a bit whiny.
"I didn't ask you to follow me."
"Well, I did. Now can you please just tell me what Jade—."
"Hey! I don't really appreciate you coming in here and demanding I tell you about something!" He yelled, obviously still really pissed at her despite showing his nice guy side and giving her something to take down the swelling. When Tori didn't move or say anything, he continued in a much lower voice, "Besides, it doesn't matter anyway. It was obviously a lie."
"Well…yeah, but it was also something that got you really upset…"
Andre shook his head and chuckled ironically, "Me being upset had nothing to do what she told me…it's all about what you did."
Tori sighed and took a step forward, but stopped when she saw Andre take a step back, "Just go, Tori. I have nothing to say to you."
"But I have a lot to say to you…" Tori began, hearing her voice get more nasal-like as her nose went from a throbbing pain to an uncomfortable numbness.
"I can't imagine…" Andre said dryly. When Tori didn't say anything after that, it seemed to fuel his fire again, "I guess you have two years of words to take back, huh? Well? Go on, start taking everything back. Tell me about how you never got over Beck. How you never loved me. Tell me about how you never intended on keeping that promise that nothing would happen in Japan. Tell me how—."
"None of that's true, Andre. I did get over—."
Andre waved her off, "I don't wanna hear it. You can try to explain all you want, but I'm not buying anything you say. You want closure? You got it with my door."
Trying to ignore his last statement, she tried to change the subject again, "So who's your new girl?"
"Why's it any of your business?"
"You don't have one."
"If that's what you believe."
They stared at each other for a long time. Tori was surprised at how hard Andre kept his eyes, "What did Jade tell you?"
Andre rolled his eyes and turned to the fridge to grab a soda, "It doesn't even matter, Baby Girl, it's over and done with."
Tori stood there in shock as she watched him take out a soda, open it, and sip from it. About a minute passed with him trying to look everywhere but at her, but when she continued to stare, he couldn't take it anymore, "What? Did you want one? 'Cause this was my last one."
"N-no…didn't you just realize what you called me?"
Andre looked a little confused, but then turned away.
"You called me 'Baby Girl.'"
"It's just a two-year habit, Tori. It happens," he said a little too quickly.
Whether it was subconscious or not, she wondered if it somehow meant that he truly wanted to forgive her. She dared to step closer to him and couldn't tell if she was being brave or foolish. When she got close enough to him, she reached out a hand and gently laid it on his shoulder.
Either he was taken by surprise or he just didn't want her anywhere near him, but he turned around quickly and swatted her hand away. Tori jumped back and it made her lose her grip on the rag. The five ice cubes clattered to the kitchen floor; five heavy, solid tears.
Tori and Andre stared at the cubes for a few seconds as if they were grenades ready to explode. The silence between them was louder than the clatters, so finally, without looking up, Andre answered her original question: "Jade had made up some story about how Beck proposed to her. She showed me a ring and everything…I gotta give it to the girl, she's definitely a good actress, because she appeared to be the happiest chick on the planet. Ya know…that glow girls get on occasions like that. Anyway, she went on to tell me how jealous you were that Beck proposed to her but I didn't propose to you. It sounds stupid now…but she really planned this out well and she was pulling it all off.
"Long story short, she convinced me to buy an engagement ring in Agentina. 'How special would that be?' she asked. I agreed. That's why you couldn't get ahold of me for so long before…" Andre paused here as he thought back to that very moment when he answered Tori's call to see her and Beck kissing.
Tori finally started to raise her eyes from the floor, shock clearly written in the brightness of her orbs, "You were out looking for a ring…"
Andre didn't respond. He turned away from her and grabbed his soda, tilting it to his lips every few seconds. It was like he was trying to have his mouth do something besides talk…he didn't want to talk anymore. Tori was a smart girl, she could put the rest together. The day he caught her cheating…
Was going to be the day he proposed.
And Jade set the whole thing up. She wanted everyone to feel the level of pain she was dealing with, and to make sure of that, she heightened the extremity of the situation by allowing Andre to believe in something so great…just to get faced with the worst possible scenario ever.
And Jade knew—she had to know—that when Andre finally told Tori about this…that Tori would suffer a compunction so deep that it would never leave her memories.
Her best friend of four years was going to propose to her…but then couldn't.
"I'm sorry, Andre…" she whispered, the throbbing in her heart overtaking the pain in her nose. She took a few steps closer to him, but then stopped. There was nothing she could do or say that was going to make the situation any better for him.
She couldn't accept his proposal. She couldn't say yes. And she knew Andre enough to know that that was one of the main reasons he actually told her what Jade said to him. He was hoping against hope to get the answer he desperately wanted from her. But she couldn't.
Jade had definitely won this round.
"Just go, Tori…" Andre said, the steadiness in his voice sounding very forced.
Tori's hands came together and fidgeted nervously, "I'd still really like to talk to you about…us…"
He sighed and looked up, and Tori could see his back tense, "There's no such thing anymore."
In anguish, she reached for his shoulder again, "Andre, don't say—."
"GO!" He spun around and slammed his fist on the countertop. She saw the anger blistering his eyes despite the tears threatening to put out the fire. He held his mouth solid, but his whole body looked like it wanted to strike at anything.
Tori tried to stand her ground, "But we still—."
Andre took a hard step toward her which made her involuntarily take a step back, "No, there's nothing! No feelings…" He took another step forward and she took one back, "No friendship…" Step forward. Step back. "No music…" This time, when he stepped forward, Tori stayed still, "No life." He took another step, but again, she remained in place, so they ended up face to face.
She stared up into his dark eyes as she looked for even a hint of truth to support his words, "Andre, just because it didn't work out between us, doesn't mean—."
He chuckled softly, ironically, "You make it seem like our break up was mutual and uncomplicated. It was far from that. You may be ready to get passed all this, but I'm not. And I never will be. I don't want to forgive you."
Stinging. These words slapped the bravado out of her as her mind formed a sort of panic song. The biggest thing she was afraid of the whole time in Japan was losing Andre for good. Something kept telling her that somehow…someway…it would all still work out. She had such a hard time picturing her life without Andre in it that she actually made herself believe (at least to a certain extent) that it would never happen.
Tears slid down her face effortlessly, "Andre, please let me explain…"
Andre looked shocked for a moment, but then hardened his expression again, "No! You don't get that option to c—." He cut himself short when his voice cracked. He had to shut himself up before he made a complete blubbering fool of himself.
Tori placed her hands on either side of his head and pressed their foreheads together, her tears still coming down like rain while she noticed a few of his own finally escaping. His hands overlapped hers, and he squeezed so hard that she was sure he was getting ready to pick her up and throw her.
"I never wanted to hurt you…" she said clearly despite her closed throat.
Andre closed his eyes because he couldn't stand being this close to her and looking into the eyes he'd grown to love so much. He wanted to make a joke and tell her how cliché that line was. He wanted to tell her that she was full of shit. But more than anything—and he hated himself for it—he wanted to kiss her.
He could hear her voice, but he couldn't understand her words. His mind began thinking the same thing he thought on his whole plane ride home: would he be able to win her back? His brain tried to tell him he was stupid…why would he try to do something so dumb? But his heart was aching for his best friend that he loved more than anything, and whom he never got a chance to say goodbye to.
He wanted to hate her…and he supposed his love for her manifested itself into a form of abhorrence when he was at his angriest. His mind finally focused on her words again as soon as she said:
"…but I still love you…"
Their foreheads were still touching, and now their lips were, too, but it was only savored for a very quick second before Tori was pulling away, whispering, "I can't…"
And then the moment was gone. Andre threw her hands off of him and backed away from her, "So good to know you're not a cheater."
The sarcasm dripped heavily from his voice. Before Tori could respond, he pointed toward the door and shouted, "Get out! I don't ever want to see you again!"
"But everything I just told you—."
"I didn't hear shit," he answered as he spun her around and began pushing her toward the door with his hands on her shoulders. Before she could even register what was happening, he had the door open and was shoving her outside and slamming the door shut again.
Tori's chest rose and fell as she stared blankly at the street. She was trying to wrap her thoughts around what just happened…she truly thought she was finally getting to him, but then…
There was no use in trying to talk to him some more today. He was too upset to listen any longer. Without even wiping her face, she went down the steps, her shoes pounding brutally on the stairs to inform Andre that she was leaving like he wanted her to.
Inside, Andre leaned against his front door, sliding all the way down to his butt once he heard her leave. His face was strangely vacant as he looked around his house and wondered what to do with his life now that Tori wasn't in it.
Beck jumped up quickly from his bed when he heard a soft knocking on his door. As soon as he pulled the door open, his face went from happy to shocked.
"Oh my God, Tori, what happened to your nose?!"
"Oh…" Tori reached up and covered her nose with her hand. Her face had gone numb, so she had forgotten about it and didn't consider coming up with a better excuse to tell Beck before she arrived at his RV.
"What do you mean, 'oh'?" Beck asked, stepping aside as Tori made her way inside, "Did…did An—."
"No," Tori answered quickly before he could continue, "It has nothing to do with him…I just ran into a door."
Beck stared hard at her as she lay down on his bed, "Are you—."
She closed her eyes and groaned, "Beck, please just believe me on this, okay?" When she didn't hear him respond, she opened her eyes to see that he was just staring at her. She sighed, "I'm not lying, all right?"
"Um…okay, yeah," Beck consented, truly hoping she wasn't trying to cover up anything. He sat down on his bed with his back against the wall as he rose her legs up to rest over his, "So…I take it that it didn't go as well as you hoped…?"
Tori watched as his hand absently roamed up and down her legs, "Not at all…"
Beck wanted to say he was sorry, but she probably already knew that. They sat in comfortable silence together, both of them focused on the soft swish sound his hands made over her jeans.
Then suddenly, she said: "I can't wait to go to college. Everything about L.A. just makes me feel so guilty now."
Beck kept silent. He wondered if she literally meant everything (which would include him).
"A completely fresh start in New York is just what I need."
Beck tapped his head back against the wall, his eyes roaming everywhere as he asked his question, "So should I accept that scholarship to NYCDA then?" His eyes lowered to look at her.
But she kept her eyes on the ceiling, "If that's what you want."
He reached his hand up to twirl his finger around the ends of her hair that stopped at her breast, "I want to be where you are."
She still didn't look at him, "You really mean that…?"
"Hey…" he tugged gently on her strands which finally made her eyes meet his, "You know I do."
Tori smiled softly at him but then looked back to the ceiling. Beck's eyes roamed back to his hands gliding over her legs. There was nothing much else to say as they mourned in the loss of their previously thought-to-be lifelong friendships.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Wow...wow? Hello, everyone! How have you all been? I'm sooooo sorry for such a super long delay! Classes were really kicking my butt since April. But I've been thinking about this story constantly, and am so happy that I was able to find the time and inspiration to finally continue it. I really hope my faithful readers are still hanging around! I miss you guys! And I know a lot of you have been asking how many chapters I plan on making this story. I'm just gonna say something like 40-ish.
So I totally miss Victorious. I tried watching Sam and Cat and I just...no. I can't get into it. I don't know if it's because I still want more Victorious, or if I'm too old for the humor in Sam and Cat, or if it's just a plain our terrible show. I guess I could give it a try a little bit longer...I remember that I didn't exactly love Victorious right away either (though I at least could stand watching it).
Anyway, so how did you guys like how I handled the Tandre situation? Again, I tried to make Andre's reactions as believable as possible. Believe me, I've been in past relationships where I hate the person for doing something and yet there's a part of me that still doesn't want to let go. And that is definitely the huge dilemma Andre is facing.
I have a few things planned out for the rest of the story...such as their actual final project presentations, graduation, and of course, the whole college thing. So something to look forward to!
THANK YOU to everyone who has read and reviewed even during the stories hiatus! LOVE YOU!
~Enula