A/N: I'm a bit sleep deprived...so...this chapter is pretty quirky. Sorry not sorry?

And thus end our mihawk chapters, and begin our Amazon Lily chapters.

Ch. 19 – Sunburns and Send-Offs

"Bahahaha! The Marimo's been replaced by a Love Monkey!" Sanji crowed.

"The only Love Monkey here is YOU, Curly-Brows!" Zoro shot back with a glare while the crew laughed.

Helena hid a giggle behind a hand as Zoro shook a fist at them. She'd had a feeling they'd get a good chuckle out of the Zoro-mandrill's antics. It helped that she'd left out some of the more personal or painful details of course, like what the monkey was comforting her for. –Zoro really didn't need to hear about Athena or Hera, or what Athena had said about the Lotus. She didn't want him to feel guilty. And the things Mihawk had said regarding her and Zoro seemed like something better shared with him in private.

She placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry, dear. I let him know I am a happily married woman," she reassured him, "Poor guy was besotted and wouldn't stop bringing me gifts, so I had to be firm with him. A Helena-mandrill soon made an appearance, so he didn't have to mourn me long."

"A humandrill started imitating you too?" Zoro asked, clearly impressed.

"Why is that such a big deal?" Usopp asked, "I thought you said all the humandrills imitate humans."

"Yes, but they take on a bunch of traits from all the people they've seen," Zoro explained. "There were lots of humandrills who copied my sword-style, but only one who decided he wanted to be me. Same with Mihawk. That Helena had a humandrill doppelganger means that it respected her enough to take on her traits almost exclusively, and to completely master her sword style."

"So the Zoro-mandrill fell hard for the Helena-mandrill?" Sanji asked, throwing a wink at Helena. "Let me guess. They started out rivals but were madly in love within a few days."

Helena flushed and grinned sheepishly. "They got married before I left."

This brought on more shouts of laughter.

"Yeah, it was pretty strange. They asked Mihawk to officiate. I was my doppleganger's matron of honor, Gentry was best man…and caterer." She looked pointedly at Sanji at this, and the cook cackled even harder. "And the Mihawk-mandrill gave her away."

"Mihawk officiated a monkey wedding?" Zoro guffawed. "Wish I could have seen that!"

"Yes, and he did a good job keeping it a solemn occasion, given it was attended by a crowd of monkeys," Helena said, stifling a chuckle so she could talk. "He seemed pretty honored, if bewildered about it all. Now he's going to be forever plagued by our monkey progeny – a fact he lamented to me after the ceremony."

Zoro grinned. "You know, I don't think he minds as much as he lets on."

"So I guess this all goes to show it was fate, eh?" Usopp put in with a shrug. "You guys were bound to end up together."

Helena flushed a little at this. It reminded her of what Mihawk had said; that Zoro had but to meet her to fall in love with her. She knew how the gods toyed with fate, so she didn't want to attribute anything to that exactly, but maybe some things were just meant to be.

"Don't be ridiculous," Zoro interjected. "Our relationship has been an uphill battle. We ended up together because we wanted to; nothing to do with fate."

Helena grinned. She liked thinking of it that way better too. Still, she couldn't help but tease him a bit:

"Don't believe in destiny, my love? I thought you were destined to be the World's Greatest Swordsman."

"Only because I decided I am," Zoro said stoutly, a confident grin settling on his face.

Helena smiled at him fondly and took his arm. "And I wouldn't have you any other way," she declared, planting a kiss on his cheek.

Luffy groaned. "Enough with the mushy stuff! Get on with the story!"

Helena was seriously tempted to kiss Zoro again, just to annoy him, but felt she hadn't been aboard his ship long enough to have earned that right. She had warned him, once upon a time, that it could be awkward having a married couple on his ship.

"How are you even still awake?" Nami demanded, glaring at the captain.

"I spiked his cider with coffee," Sanji whispered loudly to her.

"What, do you have a death wish?" Nami cried, "Luffy hopped up on caffeine would be worse than Helena drunk!"

"It was only a little, Nami-san!" Sanji defended. "He always falls asleep when people are explaining things. I wanted him to show respect to Helena-chan!"

Helena laughed. "Thank you, Sanji-san," she said. "That was quite the daring risk."

"Anything for you, Helena-chan!" he noodled. Zoro swiped at the hearts radiating off of the cook while Helena went on:

"So, it was actually the day after the mandrill wedding that Mihawk noticed something alarming in the news…"

Mihawk had to admit serious frustration with his pupil now. Oh, she trained harder than ever. She rose early, hardly stopped to eat, went to bed late, was so worn out she could hardly keep a bite of food down. And yet, more than two weeks after the wine incident, she hadn't managed to access the power he'd seen in her!

Perhaps she never would without the help of liquor. The thought infuriated him. He'd made sure to give her non-fermented wine from that point forward. Unfortunately, the humandrills had brought their own wine to the wedding last night – horrible stuff. The humans they imitated had clearly not shown them to make it properly. Helena had tried some before he could stop her.

She'd spent the rest of the evening alternatively dancing wild mazurkas with the monkeys and getting into fights with them. Fortunately, the bride and groomandrill had already left by then, so she didn't ruin their honeymoon, but she'd nearly gotten herself killed challenging the Mihawk-mandrill to a dance off.

Helena was usually an early riser, but after her drunk rampage she slept in the following morning. Mihawk let her. She needed it. Anyway, it was nice to have a moment to leisurely peruse the latest newspaper over breakfast.

His keen gaze soon narrowed on a small, apparently innocuous column. No picture. Not breaking news, and yet in moments he found himself knocking on Helena's bedroom door.

"Helena, I believe there's a problem," he said through the door.

"Whuzzat?" she grumbled as she answered it, groggy and disheveled.

She blinked at him sleepily, her fine hair sticking up on one side of her head. He stared at her in surprise, realizing that he'd never seen her dressed down before. She had apparently found some old, worn out shirts that Zoro had left behind and put them to use as sleepwear.

Zoro wasn't that much taller than she was, which meant his shirts didn't fall as long on her as her makeshift chitons did.

Mihawk narrowed his eyes at her, unamused. "Get dressed," he commanded flatly.

She looked down at her exposed legs, then up at him, suddenly wide-awake. She let out a little squeak and slammed the door.

"Did I oversleep?" she asked through the door, clearly aware that it must be serious for Mihawk to actually wake her up like this. "What's going on?"

"Your daughter's been compromised," Mihawk told her through the door, turning his back to lean on the wall next to it. "A column has just been published stating that Hancock has a new, adopted daughter and possible heir to the Kuja throne. The article calls her, 'Princess Kina.' I can only presume Cipher Pol will see right through the pseudonym."

"It's not a pseudonym," Helena informed him, "She just can't pronounce her own name properly. It doesn't sound to me like Hancock was smart enough to rename her to protect her identity."

"It is more likely that Hancock figured she could use her usual methods to keep the World Government from taking what she's claimed," Mihawk pointed out. "She is a selfish, petty woman, and quite used to having her way. She is usually more private than this, though. I wonder why she allowed such news to be published."

"She does work for the World Government. It is possible she was trying to lure me to her to capture me for them."

"Like me, Hancock rarely does her duty as a Warlord unless obligated," Mihawk informed her. "Perhaps it is a personal challenge."

Helena opened the door, now dressed in her chiton with her swords strapped to her. She ran a wet comb through her short, messy hair as she walked out into the hallway to face him, "Whatever the reason, I need to get to Kuina before Cipher Pol does. How quickly can you get me to Amazon Lily?"

"As it turns out, Amazon Lily is a hard place to get to," Helena informed her rapt audience. "I won't bore you with all the details, but I did learn a few interesting things about Mihawk on the way. First of all, he built that weird coffin boat he travels in himself."

"He must have made a new one," Zoro observed. "Perona and I crash landed the one he lent us on Ilium last time I was there."

"You know, when I asked him why he travels in a coffin, he told me he and Andromache were undertakers before they were pirates, so it's the shape he knows how to build best," Helena expounded. "I think he might have been yanking my chain, though. He started doing that after the chess match any time I asked him more questions he didn't want to answer. It's hard to tell when he's making stuff up. He says it all with such a straight face."

"I always figured it was because he's so bored with life, he's hoping that boat will be his grave one day," Zoro put in with a shrug.

"That's morbid," Robin said.

Everyone stared at her a moment, but made no comment.

"I always figured it had to do with his brand," Usopp continued. "Every pirate has a certain aesthetic to think about, right? He's got a kind of deathless swordsman theme going on."

Helena laughed. "He is more concerned with his image than you'd think. Before we left, I went searching through the castle for a decent hat to protect me from the sun at sea. I figured, given the outmoded clothes he wears, that he likely found some of it there in the castle. But when I told him I was looking for a hat like his, do you know what he said?"

Helena molded her face into a deadpan expression, eyes hard and staring, just like Mihawk. "You can't," she said, not a smile quirking her lips. She paused for an awkwardly long time, waiting for the others to lean in with curiosity. Finally she finished: "That's my signature look."

Her impression was good enough to draw applause from Luffy and Usopp, and laughter from the others.

"Fun fact, did you know Mihawk also wears that hat in part because he sunburns easily?" Helena added. "Probably why he likes Gloom Island so much. – another fun fact. Mihawk gets cranky when he's sunburned, so…don't steal his hat."

"You didn't," Nami chuckled.

"I may have," Helena said, tapping her pointers together as though she were ashamed, though she was smiling. "The wind stole the bonnet I found, so I convinced him to be a gentleman and give me his for the rest of the trip."

"You made Mihawk give you his hat?" Zoro laughed.

"You think my father is the only one good at arguing circles around people?" Helena asked, grinning.

"I dunno, from what I've seen, your style of diplomacy is generally more straightforward," Zoro pointed out. "And he's not one to be taken in by rhetoric."

"You forget that with Mihawk, I also have the advantage of being my mother's daughter," Helena said with a wink. "So anyway, like I was saying, getting to Amazon Lily was a bit of a challenge. We had to pass through the calm belt, which meant rowing. And while Mihawk's conqueror's haki was enough to keep most of the sea kings back, particularly with how irritated he was over the sunburn, we did run into a few. Mihawk decided to use them as a continuation of my training."

"Makes sense," Zoro said with a nod. "So did you figure out how to blacken your blades again before you reached Amazon Lily?"

Helena shook her head, and her expression fell. "No, and actually," her downtrodden look turned to one of annoyance, "It caused me a bit of trouble. Were you aware that the World Government has a treaty with the Kuja that they won't go within three kilometers of Amazon Lily? Apparently that contract includes other warlords. Mihawk made an interesting proposition to get me to shore…"

Helena stared at her cranky, sun-crisped teacher as though he had just sprouted a second head. "…come again?" she spluttered.

"It's the only way to get you ashore without getting me into trouble with the Kuja," Mihawk grumped. "I've had enough drama in the past month to last me a lifetime, thank you."

"You're sure you're not just doing this because you're mad at me over the hat?" Helena demanded, "I think it would be safer for me to swim to shore."

She gazed out across the calm water, tempted by its eerie stillness. It looked almost inviting under the midday sun.

"If you attempt to swim, you will almost surely be eaten by a sea king," he reminded her. "Do you want to rescue your daughter or not?"

"But I can't blacken my blades! I might be able to fight my way through the sea kings, but your way will almost certainly kill me!"

"I will use the flat side of my sword," he insisted irritably, as though this should have been obvious. "You'll survive. Now draw."

"Fine, fine," Helena said, but before she drew a rapier, she planted a quick peck on his sun-reddened cheek, then swept the hat off of her head and placed it smartly on his. "Thanks for everything, Uncle Mick."

To her surprise, he didn't chide her or make her feel awkward for the personal gesture. His hitherto furrowed brow softened as he settled the hat more firmly onto his head. "I almost forgot," he said, turning to retrieve something from a sea chest he kept under his chair. "Here."

He tossed her an ordinary silver flask full of something. Knowing him, it had to be more good wine.

"If you get into trouble, drink a toast to your mother," he said. "I am certain her spirit will come to your aid."

Helena chuckled while she looped the strap connected to the flask over her shoulders. "I never took you for the superstitious sort."

"Yes, yes, just draw already."

Helena pulled out one of her rapier and stood at the ready.

"Do at least try to darken your blade," he requested. "I'd rather not break anything."

Helena widened her stance and tried to focus her spirit into her sword. She tried not to think of all the times she had failed to do so, and instead thought of Kuina. Her daughter needed her in one piece right now.

Her blade flickered black, but she knew it wouldn't hold. Mihawk knew it too.

"Farewell, Helena du Helena," he said, drawing his sword. "I wish you well."

She couldn't say anything, couldn't spare him another thought, or the meager haki coating she'd created would vanish. He drew back his sword and swung, striking her blade with a force strong enough to launch her toward the shore.

The water parted a little ways beneath her as she flew, sending up a duel wall of waves in her wake. Halfway there and her haki coating failed. A few seconds after that and her rapier shattered, making her straining arms fly forward. Now practically folded in half around the invisible slash, she felt all the air squeeze out of her lungs. Stars popped in front of her eyes, and her vision threatened to go black as she crashed into a small dune on the beach a moment later.

Exhausted after a day of rowing and fighting sea kings in the hot sun, Helena decided she would take a nap there in the soft sand. But first she raised a shaking thumbs up into the air to let Mihawk and his hawk-eyes know she was ok.

"Thanks for everything, Uncle Mick," she muttered again, letting her arm flop to her side. "You're a real peach."

Mihawk's irritable mood didn't improve much after dumping his charge at long last. For one thing, no amount of training, rowing, haki, or meditation could make a sunburn less annoying. For another, he'd thought he'd feel lighter after ridding himself of the burden that was Cygnus and Leda's daughter. Instead he had already started to miss her company.

He exited the Calm Belt before sundown and felt the change immediately, like stepping outside on a blustery day. The wind stole his hat right from his head, in fact, just as it had done with Helena's bonnet. Cursing fate, he attempted to catch it with his sword. His irritability made him just a little too eager, and to his supreme annoyance, he struck it completely through, cutting it practically in half.

He retrieved the pieces and eyed them woefully. Perhaps it could be repaired? That did him no good now, though. The already lobster red skin on his face itched in anticipation of the harsher burns to come.

Just as he'd started to contemplate hiking his jacket over his head and sacrificing his pasty torso to the sun, the wind blew something into him; some pastel fabric that clung to his face like a deranged jellyfish. He tore it free and stared at it in disbelief.

It was Helena's lacy, floral bonnet.

After he got over his shock of seeing it again – just how long had it been blowing around out here without hitting the water? – he lowered it and gazed around him surreptitiously. Certain he was alone…out here…in the middle of the ocean…he yanked it onto his head, tying it firmly beneath his chin.

"It seems I am not to be free of you yet, Helena du Helena," he muttered to himself. "Who ever heard of such a troublesome niece?"