A/N: Thank you to everyone who sent messages to check up on me. I am so sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for an entire year. The short answer for why I was gone: 20-freakin'-20. I feel like my brain hasn't been able to process the state of the world on top of other personal troubles, and all my creative reserves were drained by being in survival mode. I really tried to write. I even started a writing bingo group when lockdown first hit almost a year ago. While the group has been wildly successful for others I invited to it, I wasn't able to make any real progress myself, on this story or any other.

Even now I feel like I've lost the thread of the story. Some things I knew I was building to I can't seem to piece together. My thought processes feel so disjointed right now, and I think it reflects in my writing.

This chapter is really long and probably should have been split into two, but I feel like since it all happens over the course of one day, with one overarching theme, it belongs together. Anyway, I figured with it being so long since I last updated, it couldn't hurt to give y'all an extra long bit of nonsense to read.

I hope my readers are all safe and well. Thank you for coming back to continue Helena's journey with me

Ch. 34 – Part of the Crew

Helena dreamt of Hell.

She dreamt of all the tortures that awaited her, that were her due the day she finally followed Hades to her destiny. In Tartarus she faced thousands of shades, all desperate for her blood and memories. The people Bags had failed to give proper rites as promised. They sucked her dry over and over and over again. She harvested golden apples in trees full of flames. The metal fruit seared her hands, pulling flesh from them as she filled a bottomless basket that would never appease Hera. She danced on the Saobody Opera House stage until her feet wore down to stubs, only to have them refreshed and forced to dance again. All the while her heart burst with grief as she looked in the wings for Kuina, knowing she was lost, knowing she was scarred and scared and her mother had done nothing.

When her soul couldn't handle any of the anguish any longer, her eyes flew open. Though the ceiling of the infirmary met her view, she couldn't tell if she were truly awake yet. She had a heavy weight on her chest, restricting her breathing.

Blinking through the sweat stinging her eyes, she shifted to see if she could sit up, only to hear a small grunt of protest. The weight on her chest snuggled into her and sighed with contentment.

Kuina?

Helena felt one corner of her mouth twitch.

More carefully now, she pushed herself upright, cradling her daughter to her, only to catch sight of her husband fast asleep on the infirmary floor. The sight twitched the other side of her mouth into a soft smile.

Zoro looked as comfortable lying there as he once did in Helena's big, four-poster bed. Sleeping wherever, whenever, was one of his many talents of course, and one that still amazed her. And yet, despite his apparent ease, his one good eye opened when he sensed her sit up.

"She wanted you," he informed her with a haggard grin.

"Me?" Helena murmured in genuine surprise, running her fingers through Kuina's soft curls, "But she never asks for me…"

"That's because you're the one who's always there," Zoro pointed out. "She doesn't know life without you."

Helena didn't know what to do with the warmth she felt pulse through her at this revelation. After everything she'd put her daughter through…

Helena's eyes snapped to Chopper's desk. Her suicide note was gone. Where was it? Zoro couldn't possibly have seen it, or he wouldn't be lying there, peacefully dozing on the floor, would he?

Dawn light filtered through the infirmary window, along with the sudden sound of Brook loudly belting out an obnoxious tune about a handkerchief. Zoro let out a groan.

"Brook and that stupid song," he grumbled, rolling onto his stomach and throwing his hands over his ears.

"Time to get up?" Helena chuckled.

"Not even close," Zoro mumbled into the floor.

"Oh, good. I could do with a few more winks," Helena chortled, lying back down.

Kuina somehow managed to sleep through the din, and Helena snuggled close to her, pulling the light blanket up around them both. Before Brook had even finished his obnoxious tune, the ex-queen somehow managed to doze, this time without vicious dreams to disturb her.

Helena awoke to find her family gone. Chopper sat shuffling papers at his desk.

"What did you end up doing with my note?" Helena asked, startling him.

"You're awake," he observed, glancing at her only briefly. Then, "I put it in your chart." Before she could say anything more about the matter, he went on, "Zoro and Kuina went to get some breakfast." He was clearly uncomfortable and avoiding eye-contact. The sensitive creature was probably still having a hard time processing what he'd stopped Helena from doing. He seemed angry, and trying valiantly, though without much skill, to hide it. "If you're hungry I can take you."

"Thank you," she replied, sitting up. "I think I…"

"Goooood morning, Helena-chwan!" Sanji sang out suddenly, bursting through the door with a tray in hand. "No need to come to breakfast when breakfast can come to you!"

Helena had to consciously stop herself from throwing her hands over her nose. The smell of fish, albeit lovingly and well prepared, permeated the room. Food aversion number one, she realized.

"It's sashimi this morning! Freshly caught, too!"

"NO!" Chopper cried. "She can't have raw fish!"

Sanji stopped to stare at him. "She…can't?"

"And while we're talking about things she can't have: no raw fish, deli meat, or soft cheeses. And this is already a given with Helena, but absolutely no…alcohol. Sanji, what's wrong with your face?"

With each item he'd listed off, Sanji's one visible eye had gone visibly wider and wider, shining with utter kawaii. His lips stretched higher and higher into an enormous grin. His feet had turned pigeon toed, his hips waggling from side to side in sudden joy.

"Helena-Chwan…you're PREGNANT?!" he squeaked.

"CHOPPER!" Helena barked at the doctor.

"Sorry…" Chopper grumbled, glancing askance.

Sanji turned on his heel in adulation. "Guys! Guys!" He shouted, kicking open the door that had fallen shut behind him. "Helena is…!"

Helena's bare heel suddenly made contact with his head. He collapsed, holding the tray out to keep it from spilling its contents all over the floor.

"…feeling better?" he amended into the floorboards.

The crew around the dining table let out a chorus of cheery hellos, to which Helena replied with equal good will, waving to them all as though she hadn't just drop kicked Sanji into the floor. From what she remembered of the crew, this kind of violence wasn't all that unusual anyway.

"HELENA! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE UP!" Chopper chided.

"Hmph!" Ignoring him, she leaned down to where she wouldn't be overheard by the loud conversation and clatter of the crew at breakfast. "I can't believe you!" she whispered fiercely at Sanji. "Don't you know better than to spoil a pregnant woman's surprise?"

"I'm sorry Helena-chwan…" Sanji muttered from beneath her foot, which she hadn't lifted from his head. "I just got excited."

"Excited?" Chopper asked miserably. Helena didn't let it worry her.

"Zoro," she called to her husband, who sat dutifully beside Kuina at the table. "I could really use a bath more than food right now. Do you think you could help me wash up?"

"Bath? Wash up?" Sanji spluttered, then a nosebleed sent him shooting across the galley. He left a streak of red across the floor before he smacked headfirst into the opposite wall, earning another bump on his head. Somehow he managed to keep the tray upright through all of it, but it was a near thing.

Satisfied with this punishment, she turned a grin at Zoro who chuckled then nodded. "Be good while I'm gone, Kuina," he told the little girl. "Don't get too carried away. These guys are pirates, not royalty."

"Well, if Yuffy gon be King of Piwates he need to yearn better manners," Kuina informed him. "Elbows off table, Cap'n or you get toe pinch."

"Pirates don't need to listen to rules!" Luffy informed her point blank.

"Kings do!" Kuina reminded him, wiggling her little toes threateningly at him.

Luffy's flexible forehead furrowed. "They…do?" Unsure how to argue with this logic, he slowly removed his elbows from the table.

The crew burst into laughter

Helena laughed heartily as well. "Oh, dear. I guess we taught her too well," she admitted, while the little Princess went off on Luffy for chewing with his mouth open.

Before she could walk out with her husband, Helena noticed a glorious smell. Savory. Tender. Mouthwatering. It was the only thing she wanted to eat at the moment. Closing her eyes, she sniffed the air to try to pinpoint its location. When she opened them, her gaze fixated on the large hunk of meat on Luffy's plate.

Now that she thought of it, one of the few things she'd managed to keep down during the past three months were the steaks Mihawk had made. Odd, as such fair wasn't exactly light on the stomach. Helena paused to sniff once more, following her nose to the tableside. Delicately lifting one of the meat slabs by the bone protruding from it, she took a bite and turned to walk away.

"HEY!" Luffy shouted.

"Whatever Helena wants to eat, she gets!" Chopper and Sanji screamed back at him.

"MUTINY!" Luffy cried. "First Little Zoro, then Sword Princess, now you guys?! Gimmie back my meat!"

"What are you doing?" Zoro asked Helena incredulously as she took another bite, ignoring Luffy's reaching hands. They couldn't get to her anyway, not with Sanji and Chopper beating Luffy back with a will.

"It just looked really good," Helena shrugged. With sudden voracity, she stuck the entire thing in her mouth. Pulling free the clean bone, she covered her mouth as a hiccup escaped her.

The room fell into a shocked silence. Everyone stared at the usually well-mannered queen, trying to figure out where the meat had disappeared to so quickly. Kuina lifted a scolding finger, and Helena knew that she was about to get told off by her daughter for not taking more dainty bites, but Luffy cut the little princess off:

"MY MEAT!" he shrieked, gnashing his teeth.

"Well, now you've done it," Zoro observed.

"Whose side are you on?" Helena laughed, jumping into his arms. "Hurry! You have to get me out of here before he decides to eat ME instead!"

Chopper quietly went about tidying his office, his brow furrowed as he changed the sheets and made up the infirmary bed. Something weighed heavily on his mind, and it wasn't just Helena's attempted suicide.

He hadn't been present for any of Helena's tale. For all he knew, the last Zoro and Helena had seen each other had been almost three years ago.

Chopper's understanding of marriage was that it meant committing to one another as lifelong mates. Promises like that were a big deal to Zoro, and to Helena too, right?

Maybe Chopper simply didn't understand human relationships as well as he thought. He was afraid to ask someone though, for fear of what the answer would be. – for fear that he was right, and that Helena had done something horrible in breaking her commitment to Zoro. Why else would she want to keep the pregnancy a secret?

And yet Sanji didn't seem bothered at all when he'd discovered Helena was pregnant. Sanji was intelligent enough to know that a human baby's gestation was nine months, right? But then, Chopper probably couldn't use Sanji's reaction as a guide. Sanji would pardon any woman of almost any fault, wouldn't he?

The door to the outside suddenly burst open, flooding the infirmary with sunlight. The deck, still slick from the night's storm, glistened cheerfully behind Helena. She stood excited and breathless in the doorway, a towel hastily wrapped around her, her hair still wet from the bath. Her husband called out after her:

"Helena, wait up! Put on some clothes!?"

From out on deck, Chopper could hear the cries of adulation from Brook and Sanji.

"Yo ho! No need for panties, I see!"

"Why? Why? Why is the stupid marimo so lucky?"

"Shut up, you two! Keep ogling and I'll cut you both!" Zoro shouted at them, his pounding feet on the deck outside a sign that he was still trying to catch up to Helena.

"Isn't he supposed to be carrying you?" Chopper reminded her shrilly.

"The bleeding's stopped," she told him in a low voice, a smile splitting her face. "The bleeding's stopped, that means the threat to miscarry has passed, right?"

"No, not completely, but that is a good sign," Chopper admitted. "We still need to get a hold of an ultrasound snail to be completely sure.

"But does this mean I can walk around on my own now?"

Zoro had caught up to her. Slipping on the wet deck, he caught hold of her shoulder and the doorframe to keep from going down. Chuckling, Helena reached out an arm to steady him further.

Not like you were listening to me at all this morning anyway, Chopper thought. He didn't look amused. "Ok," he said after a moment, "Fine. Yes. You're no longer on bed rest. But you still need to take it easy. NO working out or training. Your swords are getting locked in my office for now."

He grew into his heavy point size, snatching the swords from the desk where Helena had left them. Chopper stowed them in a compartment above the infirmary bed, locking it with a resounding click. Helena pouted her lips but said nothing. Zoro, however, tried to protest:

"Chopper, I promise, we can just do some light sparring…"

Chopper grabbed him by the ear, "NO!" he snapped. "Absolutely no training until I can have her looked at with better equipment."

"But why…?" he started, nonplussed.

"It's fine, Zoro. Let's go," Helena interrupted, taking his hand and pulling him around to follow her. "I need to get dressed so you can give me a tour!"

"One more thing!" Chopper said, grabbing Zoro by the ear again before he could disappear.

The swordsman lost his grip on Helena's hand, and floundered on the slippery deck as Chopper yanked him close. Frantically trying to gain a foothold, he grabbed for her shoulder again only to get a fistful of her towel by mistake.

Helena let out a screech as the towel came dangerously close to disappearing from around her completely. She had to turn quickly so that only her husband and chopper would see her back half, as she kept the front of the towel held up around her, hiding her from the crew on deck.

"Wow! THANK YOU, ZORO-SAN!" Brook shouted while Sanji let out an unintelligible, high-pitched howl.

Zoro, still slightly dazed, was spared having to retaliate as the shouts of joy below turned to shouts of pain. Nami had just laid into Sanji and Brook with a vengeance, slapping them both silly.

"Melorine, why?" Sanji squeaked.

"Because you looked!" she shrieked in return.

"But Zoro-san was the one to grab her towel, yo-ho…"

A few more smacks rang out across the deck. "That was only because Chopper made him lose his balance."

"Then shouldn't Chopper be the one to get slapped?" Sanji and Brook asked at once.

The flurry of slaps to follow left their receivers in a bruised daze, face down on the deck. "I'M NOT GOING TO SLAP CHOPPER!" Nami shrieked. A number of Robin's arms appeared on the deck around them, adding a few slaps of her own in rapid succession at the mere insinuation.

In the meantime, Helena had managed to cover herself more thoroughly, blushing like mad. Chopper could see the bead of blood starting in Zoro's nose, and pulled him close by the ear.

"Absolutely no hanky panky," the doctor snarled.

"What?" Zoro spluttered. The bead of blood seemed to magically disappear back into Zoro's nose. His brow furrowed. "But Chopper I haven't seen her in…"

"No. Hanky. Panky. Got it?" he said, loudly enough for Helena to hear this time. She turned even brighter red as Zoro pouted. Chopper gave him a shake. "GOT IT?"

"I got it," he grumbled.

"Helena seems kind of down," Nami observed. She lay sunbathing on the deck in her usual spot. The towel incident had since passed, and the now fully dressed Helena followed her husband about as he gave her a tour of the Thousand Sunny.

"Well, that's not surprising, given the circumstances," her usual sun-bathing buddy replied. Robin also watched the pair through her sunglasses, though she maintained her typical unruffled expression.

Nami sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right," she said. "With everything she's been through, it wouldn't be reasonable to expect her to bounce back right away."

"Well, there's that, and her husband is giving her the tour. He's circled the deck three times already," Robin chortled lightly.

Nami chuckled along with her, then decided to take action. "Hey Sis!" she called out to Helena, waiting for the ex-queen to turn toward her. "Come over here and sunbathe with us!"

Helena blinked at them. "Sunbathe?"

"Yeah, haven't you heard of it?"

"That would be ironic," Robin noted, "The Sun Queen not knowing how to sun bathe."

"I know what it is!" Helena defended. "I just don't have time for such frivolity!"

"You do now!" Nami pointed out. "Come on. It's a required rite of passage for any woman aboard this ship."

Zoro chuckled and gave his wife an encouraging nod. Helena approached the sun bathers with trepidation.

"I do not have a bathing costume," she said. "What's more, I'm already sunburned."

"That's a tan," Nami pointed out with a touch of jealousy. Helena's normally fair skin had darkened. Sure it had a bit of a blush on it, but the redhead could never hope to achieve such a nice, coppery color. "And it's ok; you can just wear your underwear." She winked. "You know, the stuff they gave you on Amazon Lily."

Zoro had been walking away, but he perked up and shot Helena a smirk at this. Of course, the look disappeared when Sanji leapt from the galley, steam pouring from his nostrils. Zoro quickly went to show Sanji just what he thought of the cook ogling his wife. They disappeared into their usually flurry of fists and feet, all while Sanji held a tray of goodies above his head.

"Anyway, it's not like we haven't seen most of you," Nami added with a wink. Of course, Helena had managed to cover herself pretty quickly during the towel incident. Nami and the others hadn't actually seen much if anything at all, but it still made Helena turn pink.

"No," the Ex-Queen replied flatly. "But I suppose it couldn't hurt to sit with the two of you for a while."

"That's the spirit," Robin said, smiling.

"Pull up a chair!" Nami indicated the nearby deck chairs. Soon Helena had situated herself beside them, gazing out at the eerie calm of the waveless sea around them.

Though the storm had subsided, the strange "Calm," as Nami had called it, continued. Still as a mirror, the water stretched around them for miles, reflecting the now blue, cloudless expanse above. It seemed as though they and their ship floated midair in an endless sky.

"Nami, aren't you a bit worried about how we're going to get out of this?" Helena asked her.

Nami had been a little worried. But she didn't budge from the comfortable position she'd situated herself in. "Not really. Not yet, anyway," she lied calmly. "Based on the research Robin and I have been doing, it's normal for something like this to happen several leagues around a major Stormwyrm attack. The weather should return to normal in a day or two."

"But won't the stillness attract sea kings?" Helena asked, thinking of the Calm Belt. "I mean, they like to nest in it, don't they?"

"You're as bad as Robin," Nami retorted. "Must you jump immediately to the worst-case scenario?"

"The Sun Queen is right, we could be chomped into tiny bits by sea kings at a moment's notice out here like this," Robin agreed.

"Ugh, see what I mean?" Nami groaned. "Look, I think the Calm would have to be like this for a lot longer for Sea Kings to start nesting here. We'll be fine. We're in no more danger from Sea Kings than we usually are. We may as well just enjoy the calm for a change."

"Enjoy the calm for a change…" Helena repeated to herself softly.

Nami looked to her sympathetically, but before she could speak, a jolly voice cut in.

"If a Sea King shows up, I'll be sure to turn it into a delicious dish for you three to sample," Sanji put in, standing beside them now with a tray. "Your morning snack, ladies!"

"Wow, five-star service!" Helena exclaimed as he opened the tray before her to reveal three decadent melon sorbets.

"Of course! Only the best for the loveliest ladies in the world," Sanji agreed.

He'd mixed them small martinis to go with the sorbet. Nami could tell he'd carefully marked each of their glasses with colorful umbrellas: orange for herself, purple for Robin, and green for Helena. An easy way to make sure Helena didn't get the alcoholic one. Smart. The last thing anyone wanted to deal with was a drunk Helena.

He watched Helena intently as she took and sampled the food. He seemed as concerned. When she smiled and thanked him politely, he went on his way with an overly exuberant, "You're welcome, ladies!"

"One of the perks to being here," Nami pointed out, settling back with her martini, "Sanji gives us the best service."

Helena chuckled, "Yes, I noticed. You're lucky to have him."

"We're," Nami corrected.

"Hmm?" Helena hummed through a mouthful of sorbet.

"We're lucky to have him. You're part of the crew now too, right?"

Helena failed to answer. In her defense, she'd just been hit with an obviously painful bout of brain freeze. While she winced and rubbed at the bridge of her nose, Robin and Nami exchanged glances.

At that precise moment, Luffy appeared on the scene. He carried his own lime sorbet high above his head, dancing about to avoid a certain tiny, green-haired menace. The toddler reached her arms out in a wild mazurka as he jumped from one leg to the other, sometimes leaping over her, sometimes twirling around her. Unamused, his dance partner let out a wail:

"Want geen ice keem!" she shouted angrily, her hands popping open and closed insistently. Of course she did. It was green.

"You already had yours, Little Zoro!" he shouted, "This one's mine!"

"Want more!"

"Kuina…" Helena intoned.

"Mama, want geen ice keem!"

Sanji kicked open the door from the kitchen, "What's this? Did you steal her ice cream, Luffy?"

"No!" Luffy defended. "She…"

"I can't believe you stole from one of the ladies!" Sanji snarled, "What's more, a kid!"

"Sanji, wait!" Helena attempted

Too late. He leveled a kick at Luffy's head, smashing him face down into the deck. Luffy's natural instinct to preserve his food left him holding it straight up above him in the air. Before he could recover, Sanji snatched the prize away from Luffy and, making an elegant leg, he presented the repeat treat to the ecstatic toddler.

"Here you are, Princess Mini Moss," he proclaimed.

"Yummy!" she cried, "Tank you, my pwince!"

She grabbed Sanji by the ears and planted a kiss on his lips with a loud, "MMUAH! Then she took the treat and gobbled it down before Luffy had a chance to do more than straighten up and glare.

"I bet he's second guessing inviting either of us onto the crew now," Helena observed. "At this rate he won't get to eat anything!"

Robin and Nami laughed while Helena smiled wryly at her joke. Then they noticed Zoro had also been watching the scene from further down the deck. He ran up to Kuina, shaking a fist at Sanji before turning his full attention to his daughter:

"Kid, you don't just dole out kisses like that! Especially not to creeps like him!"

"He no cweep. He my pwince!"

"What about him makes him your prince?" Zoro exasperated as Sanji hovered over the conversation wearing a smug grin.

"Because…" she muttered, trailing off.

"Because why?" Zoro insisted.

"It because he stinky!"

Sanji's grin faded as one spread across his rival's face instead.

"Mama said Pwinces are stinky and have cooties! He my pwince stinky!"

Sanji sniffed his suit coat. "What, I don't stink!" he cried, but then a cigarette fell out of his pocket and it dawned on him.

"Pwince Stinky! Pwince Stinky!" Kuina cajoled as Zoro burst into laughter. He caught her and tossed her into the air.

"That's my girl!"

It did Helena's heart good, seeing Kuina interact with her Papa. She still hadn't seen more than the deck of the ship; however. Soon she found a more apt tour guide in one of the crew members she'd been wanting to get to know better.

"Ow! And here's the ladies' quarters," the cyborg called. He'd politely knocked first, but Nami and Robin were still sunbathing on the deck. He held out the door and Helena stepped inside. "You and the kiddo can stay here until we figure out a better arrangement."

Helena looked around the room. Her meager possessions, swords aside, had been moved atop a chest at the foot of one of two Queen-sized beds. Kuina's fox sat wedged between the two pillows at the head of the bed. Presumably she and Kuina would share, which wouldn't really be a problem. Kuina was used to sleeping by her mother's side.

And apparently, she actually wanted to. Helena smiled as she remembered that morning and what Zoro had said. Of course, she'd rather that Zoro be with them too, but she understood that aboard a ship one must take the accommodations one was given.

"It's wonderful Franky, thank you," she said, her smile making the response more genuine.

"Wonderful? I think you mean…"

"Superrrrr!" she cried along with him, and they both laughed.

"You're all right, Sis," Franky informed her. "I think you'll fit in great!"

Helena avoided his gaze, the residual smile from earlier still plastered on her face. She felt guilty every time the crew members implied she was one of them, knowing how little time she had left.

Instead, she looked out at the room, hoping to find something to change the subject. Her smile disappeared when, among Helena and Kuina's things, the ex-queen spotted Kuina's tattered wedding dress. It had been placed on the edge of the bed, cleaned and folded (not that the fabric looked much better for the scrubbing. Such a fine silk shouldn't have been washed in regular soap and water).

Naturally the crew hadn't been sure of what to do with it. Kuina didn't exactly have a lot of things to wear right now. Chopper's clothes were a tad big on her around the middle. The shorts he'd lent her only stayed on because they had a drawstring. She couldn't keep raiding his wardrobe.

Franky followed her gaze. Frowning, he opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, a baritone cut him off.

"Here you guys are. Franky, you weren't supposed to give her a tour without me!"

Helena glanced around Franky's huge form to notice her husband standing behind him in the doorway.

"Hey, don't worry bro," Franky assured him, "I saved the most superrrrrr part for you to show her last!"

"The most super part?" Helena reiterated, intrigued.

"And the only part he can find nine times out of ten without getting lost," Franky put in in a none-too-surreptitious whisper.

Zoro heard him of course, but chose not to comment. His cheeks did look a little red though. "Come on," he said, excitedly taking her hand.

Before long, Helena found herself climbing all the way across the ship again. The trip left her winded, though she tried hard to hide it from Zoro. As they passed the lawn on the main deck, Helena caught sight of Kuina playing a game of tag with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper. Whenever she was "it" they always let her catch one of them. Between Usopp's histrionic disappointment whenever she was just "too fast for him," to Luffy's arms stretching across the deck to tap her on the shoulder wherever she was hiding, to getting to cuddle a fluffy reindeer whenever she caught him, the little princess was clearly having the time of her life.

"She fits in well," Helena pointed out with a chuckle.

"Probably helps that our captain is an over-grown toddler himself," Zoro put in, making her laugh.

Soon they had gone up a flight of steps and left the adorable sight of the pirates playing behind them. Zoro lead Helena through the infirmary into the kitchen, up into the aquarium bar, and then up a metal ladder attached to the mast where it ran through the middle of the rooms.

He moved much faster than Franky, who had taken his time showing the rest of the ship. Despite Helena's prayers to the universe (she had no inclination to pray to the gods ever again) that Zoro wouldn't notice her huffing and puffing, he stopped her at the top of one of the ladders.

"You ok?" Zoro grunted, staring at her.

Helena gulped, willing her heaving chest to still. It wouldn't obey her. Her lungs needed oxygen, not just for her, but for the tiny lifeforce building inside of her. Though normally a fit woman, even in pregnancy, she'd put herself through too much lately. Her body begged her to slow down.

They stood in what appeared to be some kind of small library. One of Nami's sea charts lay drying on a nearby desk. Paper weights kept it in place, not that there was much wind or wave to send anything on the desk rolling.

An enormous window surrounded the circular room, offering a 360-degree view of the eerily still ocean where it reflected the cloudless sky above with mirror-image perfection. Helena didn't have time to admire the surrealism of it all. Zoro's steel-sharp gaze bored into her as she finally caught her breath.

"What's wrong with you?" Zoro asked bluntly. "Chopper won't tell me anything."

Helena's mouth dropped open. But then, she shouldn't have been surprised. Zoro had always been straightforward with her. With everyone, really. He had a way of cutting straight through to the heart of things.

"There's nothing wrong with me," she answered truthfully, "I'm just…" the word stuck in her throat.

Pregnant.

Just tell him, she told herself. He'll be so excited. Just picture the look on his face. Say it, and he'll go nuts. Say it and then…

She tried to swallow, though her mouth had gone dry.

…and then tell him you're going to have to sacrifice yourself to the gods to restore honor to yourself and to the souls lost in your fight. You're going to tell him that too, right?

She had stalled too long. Zoro, usually so patient, back pedaled quietly, turning away from her. "I get it. You're injured and you don't want to talk about it."

He seemed hurt. She couldn't tell for sure. He made his way up another ladder, obviously meaning for her to follow.

"Wait, Zoro, it's not that," she started, grabbing hold of the ladder's bottom rungs. It was made of medal rungs nailed into what appeared to be the mast. The cold, smooth surface felt slick beneath her sweaty palms. She fumbled a bit as she followed him up, still trying to catch her breath from the trek through the ship. "Look…I'm just…trying to process it myself…."

She stopped short when she reached the top of the ladder, poking her head through an opening in the ceiling, or rather the floor of the next room. Helena stopped fumbling for words as a grin spread across her face. Enormous weights lined the sides of the circular space, a bamboo meditation mat lay across the floor to one side. And there was even a sturdy looking set of low and high bars pushed against the wall, clean and unused. They weren't for him, they had to be for…

Zoro turned to offer her his hand and saw what she was looking at. "Yeah, I asked Franky to make them for you. Dunno if there's enough ceiling space in here, but I figured we could give it a shot…"

She took his calloused hand and let him pull her through the hole in the ground and onto her feet. She gazed around the room, taking in everything from the dents on the wooden floor where Zoro's ridiculously heavy weights had made their mark, to the slightly stale man-smell that a recent scrubbing couldn't hide behind lemon zest. This was his space.

"I know, I know," he said, rubbing the back of his head, "It's nothing to your fancy gym back home. And there's not a lot of room. We'll have to take it in turns if you want to use the bars, since they take up most of the space. It's just easier to work out up here, away from all the noise, you know?"

Helena's entire body warmed at the thought Zoro had put into having her here with him. The gymnasium back home had always been a sort of sacred space for her; one that she'd allowed Zoro to enter. They had fallen in love there, sharing tips and ideas, inventing katas. They had mourned their stillborn son there, striving so hard to maintain the promises they'd made to one another by not looking each other in the face as they grieved.

The gym in Ilium's ancient palace had burned to the ground with everything else, but Zoro had brought it back with a simple gesture. How dare she think of keeping secrets from him here, in this of all sacred spaces?

She couldn't. Zoro needed to know. Everything.

"Zoro, there's something I need to tell you," Helena started, but he cut her off. Curling his large, strong hand about her head, he pulled her to him and kissed her. Slowly. Passionately. It didn't take much for her to lose herself in it. -To feel her body relax into his embrace. - To sense desire rise in her, and wish Chopper hadn't put down certain limits. But then, it was to protect the baby until they knew more.

Zoro had a lot of self-control. He always had. Pulling away just before his passion took him too far, he rested his forehead against hers.

"I can't tell you how often I've imagined you here with me," he informed her. "After we saw each other last in Ilium, I just…felt I had permission to think of you more."

He said it almost guiltily. Helena smiled, "I never said you weren't allowed to think of me," she told him. "Just not to let me distract you."

"How is thinking of you so far away not distracting?" he demanded, caressing her back. She flushed. "Look, Helena, I know the circumstances are garbage. But is it wrong that I'm happy you're here?"

"I…" her heart sank and she dropped his gaze. "No, I don't think it's wrong for you to be happy…"

Though I won't be here for long, she thought. Oh gods, how do I tell him?

"Zoro, I…" She started, looking up to meet his calm, expectant gaze. She took his calloused hands in hers. "Zoro, I just found out last night. We're…"

A loud screech cut her off. That sounded like…

"Kuina?!" both parents cried in unison, dashing to the window nearest the sound. Why did it sound like she was right outside the crow?

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Perhaps because she was?

Zoro and Helena barely pushed one of the large windows open in time for the little ball of energy to come barreling through it, plowing them both over. Saved by her parent's quick reflexes, Kuina grinned down at them, safe in their arms despite her haphazard landing. She jumped up and dashed to the window.

"Do again, Yuffy! Do again!" she shouted to the deck way, way, waaaaay too far below.

Luffy responded with a loud laugh, then shouted back to her. "Sure, Little Zoro! Jump on down, I'll catch you!"

"WHAT?" Helena and Zoro both cried, dashing to catch her just as she made to clamber out of the window.

"WHAT?!" Luffy echoed back in confusion.

Hyperventilating, Helena clutched her child to her in arms so vicelike she might smother her. Meanwhile, Zoro stuck his head out the window.

"LUFFY, YOU'RE DEAD!" he yelled down. "HOW ABOUT YOU TRY CATCHING ME INSTEAD?!"

He launched himself out of the window, all three swords drawn. Helena didn't dare bring Kuina close to the window again, but she could hear the ensuing mayhem on deck below.

"AAAAAH! ZORO, YOU'RE A PSYCHO!"

"OW! Zoro-bro! Don't throw slashes like that! You'll damage the Sunny!"

"Tell Luffy to hold still so I can cut him!"

Helena couldn't help a semi-hysterical chuckle. From the sounds of things, she'd just have to tell Zoro later.

Sunset in the midst of the Calm was the most beautiful thing Helena had ever seen. Everyone in the crew had to stop what they were doing to stand on deck and stare in breathless wonder. The ocean reflected a great, cloudless expanse of auriferous coral and heliotrope, while the sun sank lower and lower into its twin reflection. Soon the glowing, golden orbs collided, disappearing into one another at the edge of the mirror.

After that, oh the stars! Franky cut the power, so they could see, unimpeded, how the great firmament stretched endlessly, seamlessly around them. No one needed a light to find their way about the ship. The stars and the moon, twice as bright through reflection, enveloped the Thousand Sunny in a misty cloud of silver light.

Someone suggested a night like this was too gorgeous to waste. They had dinner out on the deck, eating, chatting, and laughing by the light of the moon. Kuina fell asleep in the midst of the mild revelry, and slept comfortably cuddled into her father, who held her in one arm and a tankard in the other.

Helena didn't want to leave the company. She was enjoying herself far too much. What was more, she hadn't found a decent moment to tell Zoro their news. She didn't feel like announcing everything to the Straw Hats together, but had yet to find another moment of privacy.

Still, she struggled to keep her eyes open. Stupid, exhausting pregnancy. Taking Kuina from Zoro, Helena volunteered to put the child, and herself, to bed.

She found her way to the women's quarters easily enough. Once inside, she found the light switch didn't work with the power cut. It didn't matter much, though. With the great glow of starlight enveloping the ship, she still had just enough light filtering through the windows to make her way through the tidy room and place Kuina under the covers.

She tucked Foxy in with her, then noticed something slide off the foot of the bed. For a moment, she gave a start at the sinister rustling as whatever it was went over the edge. She went for a sword that wasn't there, glancing over the bed to where the thing had landed.

It was Kuina's tattered wedding dress.

Sighing, Helena bent to retrieve it. The fine material, though stained and torn, didn't have the decency to feel dirty against her palm. It felt smooth, cool, indifferent.

She had to get rid of it.

Nothing she did would ever erase the memory, but there was no point in holding on to such a horrid memento.

Not much later she found herself standing by the side of the ship, the dress bundled in her arms. She stared out into the ephemeral expanse, still in complete awe of the stars. She could barely decern the horizon. Sky and sea met with such seamless ease it seemed as though the Thousand Sunny floated in space amongst those stars, sailing to planets and galaxies instead of islands.

Though not a ripple disturbed the glassy ocean, though Helena couldn't see the water, she knew it was there. She'd come to toss the dress overboard, but realized it might present a risk. The Straw Hats had told her about how they'd finally gotten the Stormwyrm's off their tail by getting Foxy back. What if they were still in Stormwyrm territory? If she tossed the dress, it might give the beasties something else to track them with.

If only she had her swords. She could chop it up into the tiniest of pieces and let it float away. Surely turning the dress to dust would nullify the problem.

Someone approached her in her reverie; a person whose presence she could hardly miss for his sheer size. Franky the cyborg.

"Ow! Hey sis! What're you doing out here? I thought you'd gone to bed," he said. "The girls were headed up to tell you. We've decided to all camp out on deck. It's too superrrrrrrrr out tonight to stay inside."

His gaze flickered to the bundle in her arms, and his chipper countenance darkened. "Oh." He said, apparently recognizing it for what it was.

"I don't want to make a fuss about this, but…I really need to…"

She trailed off when Franky held out one of his large hands, twitching his fingers to indicate she could give it to him. He took the dress and held it up by one sleeve, letting it unfold to reveal the whole disgusting creation.

"This is the type of thing a kid should play dress up in," he pointed out with an edge to his voice.

He regarded it a moment longer, then opened his mouth like he meant to say something more. Instead, a stream of flame shot from the cyborg's mouth. Any lace left on the dress shriveled up into instant embers; however, the majority of the dress had been made from the finest, purest silk. It refused to catch fire on its own, but the cyborg didn't let up until every last stitch had dissipated upon direct contact with the flame.

When his flame ceased, the rough sound of the blowtorch gave way to music nearby. A violin. Helena looked up to the middeck to see Brook looking down at them, sawing out an Iliad victory march. He winked an eye socket at her when she turned a smile up at him.

Franky burst into tears. "That's too perfect, Brook!" he wailed emphatically.

Helena patted him on his large shoulder, secretly glad someone was crying so she didn't have to. "What was it you were saying about camping out on the deck?"

The crew had decided to lay a tarp down on the grass, retrieve their mattresses and bedding, and lay out on the deck with the incredible sky on full display. Kuina hadn't awoken upon being relocated, and currently lay snuggly between her parents on one of the queen mattresses taken from the women's dormitory.

As if flattered by all the attention, the sky decided to put on a show. A meteor shower drew great streaks of light across the silvered canvas, some large enough to be classified as fireballs. Zoro and Helena, along with the rest of the crew, sat up to watch the rain of light reflected off of the unbroken ocean.

"Make a wish. Or twenty," Zoro's wife jested to him as the meteors grew more infrequent, and they could lay back into their bed.

"Don't need to," he replied. He had an arm around Kuina, a small smile tweaking his contented face as he ran a gentle, calloused hand through his daughter's curls.

When he glanced back up at his wife, she had dropped her gaze askance. His conscience tweaked within him.

"Listen, Helena," he said, correctly interpreting her reticence. "I told you, I know the situation is…awful. I can't help being happy you're here, but…"

Helena shook, and turned to hide her face in her pillow. A frown creased Zoro's face.

"Helena…" he started, wishing he hadn't said anything at all.

"Do you think it's wrong…" she rasped, and he could tell she was crying. When would she allow herself to cry openly in front of the crew? "Am I allowed…"

Zoro sat up on his elbow, reaching an arm over Kuina so he could place it on Helena's shoulder. "Hey," he started. "Allowed to what?" he demanded.

The other crewmembers had been having quiet conversations around them from various points of the deck. They fell silent. Zoro could feel their focus turn toward the soft square mattress his little family now occupied.

"Allowed to feel this content after all the suffering I've caused?" she asked. "Am I allowed some modicum of fleeting happiness, after everything I've done? Would it be right for me to join this crew?"

Zoro blinked at her. They all blinked at her. Then with a shout to put ripples in the still water around them, the crew of the Thousand Sunny replied with a resounding

"YES."