A/N: Trying to decide if I hate the bee accent. It seems very One Piece, but it's also driving me nuts to write.

Time for some fluffy fun adventures with the Straw Hats. Seems Helena's earned it, yes?

Apologies for the late update, as always.

ETA - I have changed he name of the character Tug in this chapter to Sphinkz.

CH. 36 - High Tea

Helena leaned bodily over the railing of the Thousand Sunny gazing at the still horizon with her hands dangling over the side, body limp and defeated. She had just thrown up for the tenth time that morning, but who was counting?

Usopp sauntered up beside her. "Sea sick, eh?" he asked. "I noticed you've been having a rough time. It can be hard when you're new to sea life."

"Oh…uh…yeah," she replied, barely mustering the will to glance back at him. Nevermind that she had been at sea for a lot longer than the week she'd been aboard the Sunny. Nevermind that the water still stretched around them with a surface so flat and still that it couldn't even rock the ship, much less pitch it. She wasn't about to let Usopp in on the pregnancy. She hadn't even told Zoro yet.

Not for lack of trying. It seemed like every time she tried to tell him, something came up. Either Luffy would come flying through the conversation…literally, or Franky would have blown something up, or Brook started an improvised concert, or Kuina wandered into some trouble or another.

Anyway, at the moment she really just wanted to deal with the aftermath of emptying her stomach in peace, but she was far too polite to say so.

"Listen – it may come as a shock, but I wasn't always the brave warrior of the sea, Captain Usopp," he put in with a macho tone. "Why, back when I first set out, I threw up so much my stomach turned inside out, and I had to hiccup it back into place."

Was that even possible? It sounded so ridiculous it actually made the ghost of a smile slip across Helena's currently green face.

"I invented an amazing remedy," Usopp went on. "I present to you…the one, the only, patented Seasickness Star!"

He placed a pouch of what looked like some of his slingshot ammo next to her on the railing of the ship.

"I'm seasoned now, so clearly I don't need it anymore, but you're welcome to it," he went on with bravado in his voice. "Maybe I should have set out to be a chemist instead of a Pirate Captain, oh ho ho ho!"

Helena had gained a bit of her strength back and pushed herself clumsily upright. "Thank you, Usopp. That is very kind."

He grinned and tweaked his nose with his thumb, before striding away, thoroughly pleased with himself.

She pocketed the gift, which had a distinctly gingery odor. Ginger was supposed to be good for morning sickness, right? The smell had a sharp potency to it, and definitely had other spices mixed with it. Peppermint maybe? A hint of lemongrass? Helena resolved to ask Chopper about it before trying anything, and set off for the galley to get a glass of water to rinse the bile from her mouth.

The heat of the day made the trek to the upper deck more difficult. With no breeze, and the still water around them reflecting the noontime sun like a high quality mirror, it was a wonder the crew hadn't gone mad with cabin fever yet. It had been a solid week of this. Thankfully they weren't running low on any supplies, except perhaps cola. Franky had enough to power himself, but they didn't have any barrels large enough to launch with.

Just as Helena reached the galley, one curly-browed cook nearly pegged her with the door as he threw it open wide, a cheesy grin on his face and an enormous tray in his hand.

"Oh, Helena-Chan! I would never forgive myself if I had injured you!" he cried, the smile faltering.

"No, I'm fine," Helena insisted, then suddenly took in his outfit and froze, her mouth half open in shock.

A frilly, floofy, lacey pink apron shaped like a dress covered Sanji's usual suit. His grin returned at hearing she was alright, and he noodled past her, not acknowledging her shocked stare. "If you'll excuse me, I'm running a bit late with these petit fours!"

"Wha…?" Helena started. Perhaps cabin fever had started to set in after all. Was it her imagination or had she seen a big fuschia bow in his hair?

Still reeling with the shock, she took a step into the shade of the galley only to see Robin busily putting finishing touches on a bouquet made of painted newspaper clippings. She wore the girliest, frilliest, laciest, poofiest tea dress Helena had ever seen. Lavender, like some of the flowers she'd just put together. She looked…cute. Unnaturally cute. Un-Robinly cute.

"Robin-San, what is…?"

"Oh, have they already started?" Robin asked, "I only just finished the decorations. I'd better hurry…"

Helena watched Robin flounce out of the room with makeshift flowers in tow, but not before the tall, usually reserved assassin donned an enormous hat: white straw brim flouncing in the briskness of her walk.

For some reason, Helena hadn't wondered that Sanji would own a pink frilly apron, but where on earth had Robin gotten a tea dress with enough layers to put Helena's own coronation gown to shame?

Brook bustled into the room just as Helena had managed to pour herself a drink. She'd wanted to ask Sanji how they were doing on fresh water before filling her glass completely, but clearly she hadn't been able to with his busy exit.

Brook didn't seem to have the same reservation she had as he hastily filled a metal teapot full, and set it on the stove to boil.

"Dear me, we've already run out of tea," he observed. "Though tea tends to run right through me, yo ho ho ho!"

Helena just stared. The skeleton wore a white pancake tutu.

A TUTU!

By the time Franky poked his head in with his hair in a wild bouffant covered in bows, Helena couldn't take it anymore.

"What on Poseidon's Wide Ocean is happening here?!" Helena exclaimed as he bustled past her to the fridge to refill a tea cup with cola.

Franky and Brook exchanged glances.

A few moments later, Helena found herself escorted down the stairs to a shady corner of the front lawn, which had previously been out of her line of vision from both the kitchen and her prior queasiness spot.

There she found the entire Straw Hat crew, all decked out in various flouncy female attire, kneeling upon a gingham picnic blanket spread with everything one would need for high tea. Biscuits, scones, Sanji's offering of petit fours, cucumber sandwiches. They even had fine china! That ANY china could survive around Luffy was anyone's guess, but he unapologetically sipped a cuppa with his pinky in the air and a wreath of paper flowers about his famed hat.

Kuina sat in the midst of them all, her pinky held to attention like Luffy's as she sipped her tea. She wore what may have been a green lace shirt belonging to Nami or Robin, but had been cinched with a bow and made to look like a proper dress. A large pink ribbon graced her curls. She knelt with her back straight and prim, facing none other than her grizzled, battle-scarred, devil-may-care father, whom she appeared to be coaching about how to take his tea.

Yes, even Roronoa Zoro, shirtless without his long coat, had donned a knee length, sparkly, pastel rainbow tutu for the occasion, and a paper crown, and fairy wings. He knelt before his daughter, not a trace of ire on his serious face.

"Zoro, what on earth are you…?" Helena started, though she trailed off. It was obvious what he was doing, but why…?

Zoro simply turned his stoic gaze to her, and replied without ire: "Helena, when a two-year-old invites you to a tea party, you go."

The men in the crew all nodded solemnly at this, while Robin and Nami giggled.

Well, she couldn't argue with that.

Zoro couldn't help a smirk at Helena's dumbfounded expression. Naturally, one would think he had qualms about putting on a tutu, but somehow he didn't really mind it all that much. None of the guys complained or made fun either. This was Kuina's party, and they were all determined to be perfect guests.

"You're pinky could not possibly be higher," Helena commented, seating herself beside him on the ground. "Well done, uh, Mr. Fairy, sir."

"Excuse me, I am the Fairy Queen," Zoro informed her, flexing the pinky in question around the tea cup. He stopped it near his lips and looked sidelong at her. "And I flew a long way to get to this party so I could bestow a royal gift." He went back to drinking his tea.

"Yup, he's the Fairy Queen, and I am Ms. Flower," Luffy added. "Sanji's a Dolly, Brook's Ballerina Bones, and Franky's Duchess Gigglyfit."

"Nice to meet you…ladies," Helena choked out as Franky giggled in a high pitched voice behind a lace fan. The Cyborg chugged his cola-filled tea cup without much decorum, and Kuina quickly reprimanded him.

"Duchess Giggyfit," her pronunciation was impressive, "You a yady! A yady sips her tea."

"Ow! I am super sorry, Miss!" Franky replied in a high pitched voice. "Is this better?"

He took a light sip loudly from his cup. Kuina sighed and shook her head. "Too youd!"

Franky sipped more softly and threw a wink in Helena's direction.

"Good job! Yay!" Kuina applauded him, then rounded on Chopper, who wore a dress that had been fashioned out of one of the women's lacy shirts like Kuina's had been. Pearls adorned his neck, and a pair of matching earrings hung from his antlers. Nami and Robin had had way too much fun playing dress up with him, but he'd taken their treatment like a man, without any fuss. Zoro was proud of him.

"Dr. Cutiebell," Kuina cried, wagging a finger at him, "A yady no gobble sweets. Ony one."

Chopper barely hid his disappointment. He put down his small armful of petit fours and took one instead.

"Yiddle bites," Kuina reminded him, and he nibbled it with delicacy.

"My my, Ms. Pru would be proud," Helena said. Zoro vaguely remembered this to be one of Kuina's nursemaids. The one in charge of manners. "What would she say if she could see you now, Kuina-bee?"

"I not Kina-bee! I Miss Captain Kina," she said.

"Oh, my apologies, Miss Captain Kina…BEE!"

"Mama!" Kuina exclaimed, "No Bee."

"BEE!" Helena exclaimed again, and Zoro stared at her. A look of abject horror had just passed over Helena's face, which had drained of color. She lifted a finger to point into the air. Then Zoro heard it, a loud humming sound.

How could there be bees this far out at sea? There hadn't been any seagulls or anything to indicate an island nearby. But sure enough, when Zoro followed her pointed finger, he saw a fat bee buzzing high above the ship.

"I keep forgetting you're afraid of bugs," he muttered.

"I'm…I'm n-not, they're just…" she stuttered, fooling no one.

"Gross. Right," Zoro finished for her.

"No! Bugs are n-not gross, right Kuina-Bee?"

"Bugs are bootiful, yunique cweatures," Kuina replied, and Zoro smirked a little. He remembered how Helena had once mentioned not wanting to pass her fears on to her daughter. She'd clearly worked hard to try to teach Kuina not to think of bugs as icky, but had failed to overcome her distaste for them herself.

"It's…it's huge!" Sanji added, face contorted a little like Helena's.

The bee circled closer, and Zoro suddenly realized what the idiot cook meant. For them to even see a bee that high up near the mast, it had to be big. Enormous even. It looped directly over the tea party and came to a stop in clear view. It was as big as a horse, covered in blue and black fuzz, and shaped like a fat bullet.

"Pull yourself together, Helena," Zoro snickered. "It's not like we haven't faced giant bugs before.

"Yeah, but that time I had my swords!" Helena scowled. "Where's its stinger?"

"Looks like a carpenter bee," Usopp observed, pulling out his slingshot and standing. He loaded it and took aim. "Never seen a blue one before. Or a giant one I guess. They don't have stingers and are pretty docile, but if they bite it can be nasty. I'll see if I can scare it off."

"Wait, Usopp's not scared of it, but YOU are?" Zoro pointed out, looking at Helena, whose face had gone so pale it was viridescent. "You're not going to puke again are you?"

"I refuse to be reprimanded by a man in a tutu," Helena snapped, elbowing him in the side while he chuckled.

Usopp fired at the thing, but it lazily dodged to the side, then spoke. "Bzzz, hey! Whatz the big idea, bzzz bzzz?"

Helena apparently went wobbly all over. "A talking bee…" she barely breathed out, leaning against Zoro for support as she bowed her head and rubbed tension from her temples. "Tell me I'm having a bad dream."

"I'm not a bee, bzzz bzzz!" the humming voice retorted.

At that moment, Zoro recognized that the sound wasn't coming from the bee itself, but from a man astride it. Zoro nudged Helena, who looked up in time to notice him too.

"If you're not a bee, why do you buzz?" Robin inquired. She had to shout to be heard over the man's enormous mount, whose wings hummed like a helicopter, sending gusts of wind down on the tea party and blowing her paper flowers free of their stems.

"Everyone on my island doez, bzzz," the man shouted down. "I'm Ramzeez, and thiz iz Sphinkz. Are you in need of azziztanze?"

"What kind of assistance are you talking?" Nami called, a skeptical look creasing her brow. She clearly didn't like the look of the giant bee either, but she hid her disgust a little better than Helena did.

"We can dizcuzz it, provided I have permizzion to land? Sphinkz here'z been airborne a while and could uze a rezt."

Luffy gave his enthusiastic permission. Sphinkz, who by now hovered only around six feet above the deck, suddenly stopped pumping his wings and plopped down to the deck. Its fuzzy, fat legs did hardly anything to buffer its fall. Thankfully the adam wood ship could handle the weight, though it did cause the Sunny to pitch ever so slightly, sending a ripple across the still ocean and launching all of the crew a few feet in the air before they landed back where they'd been sitting, now with less poise.

Ramzeez threw back the gold and black striped hood that had been framing his face like a pharaoh's headdress, revealing a fade of short, dark hair. A diamond stud graced his left ear, winking in the hot sunlight against his dark lobe. The man was armed – not surprising for someone who would confidently land on a pirate ship mid ocean. He kept the gold and black sickled blade, an Alabastan khopesh, diagonally strapped across the back of his hoodie. Curiously, he wore a pair of solid black goggles, too dark for anyone to see through. He didn't behave as though he couldn't see them, however. He dismounted Sphinkz with grace, medium build coming to just high enough he could keep one arm slung over the bee's back, giving him a quick scritch behind the wings.

"I come from the Isle of the Shipyard Queen, bzzz, bzzz," he started, only to stop short as Luffy launched himself at the fuzzy blue bumble.

"IT'S SO FLUFFY!" he cried.

"SO FWUFFY!" Kuina agreed, for she had followed her captain toward the giant bug for a giant hug.

Sphinkz didn't seem to mind at all. He made a contented buzzing sound and allowed himself to be embraced.

"Kuina," Helena attempted weakly, "Give the poor thing some space."

"It's a bee for Kina Bee!" her daughter retorted, pushing her face into the soft fuzz of Sphinkz's side.

"Oh, so NOW you're Kuina-Bee," Helena grumbled.

"He's quite tame," Robin observed, approaching the mount and holding out her hand for the bug to nuzzle affectionately like a horse might.

"Raized him from a larvae myself!" Ramzeez boasted. He blushed a little as he watched Robin, even further when she looked up at him. She did cut a pretty picture in her tea party dress and floppy brimmed hat. Even Zoro was man enough to admit that, though he'd die before telling her as much. "Any rider half hiz zalt knowz how to pick a good bee. But Sphinkz'z the zweetezt to ever to buzz, in my humble opinion."

"You said something about a Shipyard Island?" Zoro interjected. He could feel Helena edging more and more away from the buzzing beast. Much as it amused him, he also didn't want to torture her for much longer. "Is it close?"

"Cloze enough, buzz buzz!" Ramzeez said with a nod. "Sphinkz and I can get in touch with zome more bee riderz and tow you back to our Island to fill up your zupplies."

"Really?" Luffy cried happily, "That would be…!"

"What's the catch?" Nami cut him off. She glared at the bee man with enough venom to put any wasp to shame. Sphinkz and Ramzeez unconsciously stepped away, the latter lifting up his hands and waving them dismissively.

"No catch!" he blurted quickly. "We live in Ztormwyrm territory, buzz buzz. It'z horrible having shipz wash in after a long Calm…" His expression said he meant it. The man had seen things. "We like to canvaz the area if a calm goez more than a few dayz. Zee if anyone needz help. I apologize it took uz zo long to find you. It'z been a while zinze we've had one with zuch a wide radiuz. I zee the cabin fever iz ztarting to zet in, buzz buzz."

"Cabin fever?" Franky asked, his bouffant sagging over one eye. It had started losing some of its shape after being blown about by Sphinkz's entrance and landing.

"Whatever do you mean, yo ho?" Brook chimed in, twirling once in his pancake tutu.

"I feel pretty sane, how about the rest of you?" Sanji asked, fluffing his pink frilly apron.

"Yeah, I don't see anything weird here," Zoro added, adjusting the straps of his fairy wings against his broad shoulders.

"No cabin fever here," Helena finished for them wryly, "Haven't you heard? If a two-year-old invites you to a tea party…"

"You go!" The crew finished for her.

Ramzeez bobbed his head in the affirmative, only to find little Kuina pressing a tea cup and a paper flower into his hands.

"Yez indeed, buzz buzz," the bee man agreed, tucking the flower behind his ear. "You go."