Author's Note: *pokes head out from the rabbit hole known as Xenoblade 3* oh hey it's been a while
So, between playing Xenoblade 3 (110+ hours and I'm still only in chapter 6), and moving (which involves selling my old home and buying the new one simultaneously), my update speed on "September the 4th, 2015" has slowed to a crawl.
So I'm going to mitigate that wait for the readers on FFNet and AO3 at least, by cross-posting some of the omakes which have been posted on the forums over time.
Note that the following snippets are NOT CANONICAL TO THE STORY (unless stated otherwise).
With that in mind: Have fun!
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Tropes are Serious Business
CONTEXT: Shortly after Toji got yeeted into the Metaverse by Mister P on July the 5th, some readers commented as follows:
"It is kinda crazy the extremes at which people are going to in order to help Shinji realize his potential and avert the coming crisis. Giving that this is a crossover between persona and evangelion, it is definitely a situation where the end may very well justify the means, but intentionally throwing people into the metaverse to face their shadows in the hope that they gain personas instead of dying is pretty extreme."
"Sounds like Saiyajin parenting, where what doesn't kill your child literally makes them stronger."
To which I replied:
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Alternative explanation-
Mister P: There are tropes we have to follow for a JRPG!
Teddie: But why can't we do it naturally, let Toji stumble into the Metaverse through some other means?
Mister P: If Shinji had started the school year in March or April like every other protagonist, maybe! But no, he had to transfer in at JUNE!
Teddie: ...so basically-
Mister P: If we have to force things along to catch up with the plot, then so be it!
Toji: *hands and feet bound, mouth closed shut with tape* MMMMMPH!
Mister P: Oh, you'll thank me later, my boy! Now quick Teddie, summon a TV so I can throw him in.
Teddie: Wasn't that for Sensei's game-?
Mister P: Even OMAKES have their own tropes, you fool! Do you want to defy the Gods of the TV Tropes?!
Teddie: *sighs* I'll go get the CRT.
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Kaworu Compares Coupons
CONTEXT: During July the 13th, on the way to school, Shinji was a bit down in the dumps due to fatigue, Kensuke had remarked about the special coffee he bought for him. After Shinji thanked him, the following exchange occurred:
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Kensuke sniffed, visibly shrugging off the praise. "You can repay me by kicking the ass of the next Ghost or Acolyte you come across."
"...but he would be doing that anyway as part of his job, wouldn't he?" innocently asked Kaworu.
"That ain't the point," grumbled Toji, rolling his eyes at the red-eyed boy's comment. "It's about the manly sentiment behind it!"
"But Toji-kun, would it not be more meaningful if Kensuke-kun had asked Shinji-kun to do something he was unlikely to do normally? Would that not make it unique? Special?"
"Now you're just overcomplicating it..."
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Some readers harped on Kaworu's verbiage, thinking of it in more-than-friendly terms. Since Kaworu is normally a fountain of innuendo, one reader remarked "I want to experiment with that and have him read a shopping list out loud at school."
Thus we have the following:
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/At some point early on during the 2014-2015 Academic Year/
/Class 1-C, Junior High Branch, Hakone Academy/
/Before Classes/
"Hmm...they do seem bigger and longer..." murmured Kaworu Nagisa, unaware of the stares coming in his direction. "...but is it size that really counts?"
"NAGISA-SAN!" snapped Haruka Kiryu, the Class Representative for that year. "You will cease your lewd talk this instant!"
Kaworu blinked owlishly. "What do you mean? I'm comparing noodles," he said, holding up a few coupons for various noodle packets. "It's my turn to shop this week for my dorm room, and I'm trying to budget responsibly."
Kiryu blinked. Kenji Tomochika, sitting a few rows behind, was sniggering into his hands.
"Tell me Haruka-chan, what do you think? The ramen noodles would be slick and easy to swallow, but the udon are so thick and girthy that it wouldn't take much to completely fill your mouth...and that would be more efficient. Which do you prefer?" he asked honestly. "Easy to swallow or mouth-filling?"
Kiryu's face burned red as their other classmates murmured at his vulgar audacity.
Tomochika had hidden his face in his arms to hide how hard he was laughing.
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I consider this Kaworu omake to be canonical. Because of reasons.
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The Academic Year Cannot be Denied!
CONTEXT: It should go without saying that the circumstances in which protagonists in either Evangelion or Persona keep going to school are somewhat silly. A couple of readers remarked on this:
"It can get a little ridiculous. It's like "Hey Shinji, angels have just killed millions of people and have delivered an ultimatum to hand you over and maybe the angels won't murder everyone, but you need to spend the next couple of weeks studying and taking your exams as education is very important you know.""
""Don't forget to keep up with your side-miss... - I mean Task Force quota!" :P "
That spawned this:
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Shinji: So...is this normal?
Ren: What is?
Shinji: Going to school while...you know, everything is happening?
Yu: Well, my town's scale was considerably smaller, but it was unnerving to keep going to school while a supernatural fog was encroaching and threatening to devour everything.
Ren: You should have seen the third semester at my school. Guy was literally trying to rewrite the cognition of the entire world to eliminate suffering, yet he apparently felt it fine to keep school going.
Yu: First of all, shouldn't it be third 'trimester'?
Ren: Technically, but you know how some high school minds would be with regards to jokes...myself included.
Yu: And secondly, if this guy was focused on eliminating suffering, wouldn't the continued academic year imply that more people found school enjoyable than not?
Ren: ...fair point.
Shinji: ...what about you, Arisato-san?
Minato: Same.
Shinji: ...what was your-?
Minato: The world was going to come to an end thanks to a proverbial, metaphorical, and literal god of Death. Still went to school.
Shinji: ...why?
Minato: Because apparently even world-ending threats respect the demands of the Secondary Education Bureau.
Yu: Maybe the Minister of Education would be willing to offer tips on tactics...
Ren: Yeah, I don't think that'll fly.
Shinji: (Why are my senpai so weird...and what does that say about me...?)
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Ren should not give political advice.
CONTEXT: After the brief conversation between Mayumi Yamagishi and Hikari Horaki prior to the Summer Road Trip arc, one reader commented as follows:
"School politics, I think his Hikari would do well in real politics as well. Maybe Ren can tutor her?"
This was a bad idea:
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/An Indeterminate Amount of Time Later/
(The four Wild Cards look upon Hikari Horaki's Palace)
Shinji: Sempai.
Ren: Look, I can explain-
Shinji: Sempai, why.
Ren: I just gave her a few pointers! I didn't think she'd pull a Shido and try taking over Japan!
Minato: At least she's doing it through sheer force of will and intimidation instead of criminal activity...
Yu: ...if she's not technically doing anything wrong, should we even intervene?
Shinji: She's taken to wearing full-blown dictator regalia. And laughing maniacally.
Yu: ...still not seeing a problem-
Shinji: She even scares Ayanami.
Yu: ...honestly, Ayanami always seemed a bit too distant-
Shinji: Okay fine, here's the real reason. I was hanging out with Sokila-chan when Horaki got onto her for running too fast on the sidewalk.
Minato: Seriously?
Shinji: She made Sokila-chan cry.
Yu: *SISTER COMPLEX MODE ACTIVATE* That...heinous villain. You have my support!
Minato: ...fine, whatever. *glances over at Ren* This is all your fault, Amamiya.
Ren: Oh sure, like I was supposed to know. I'd never even met her before in a past life, so I didn't even have that excuse!
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The Most Terrifying Ship
CONTEXT: After Armisael's harrowing interactions with Mayumi's subconscious on August the 2nd, one reader remarked: "Also, I must ask: Is it possible for an angel's sorrow to be eased without taking it out on the world?"
To wit:
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/Many Many Timelines Ago/
Zeruel: THIS LILIM CONCEPT KNOWN AS 'THERAPY' IS OFFENSIVE TO ME. I DON'T LIKE IT.
Tabris: *sighs*
Armisael: Therapists-sound-lonely-too. Maybe-they-could-become-one-with-us?
Zeruel: THAT WILL KILL THEM FASTER. I APPROVE.
Tabris: *headdesk*
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To which someone else replied:
"this pretty much confirms that the Angels do need Therapy, badly. Tabris also could use a vacation, some down time with no stress and many options to have fun. but who could help an Angel? maybe Elizabeth? I feel she would make a fine match with Zeruel, they turn blowing up s**t into an art-form."
They had no idea what they had unleashed:
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/One Very Wacky and Non-Canonical Timeline that Occurred Long, Long Ago/
Igor stared with his usual enigmatic smile at Elizabeth and her...not-quite-a-guest.
Theodore simply looked befuddled.
"I was informed of this delightful ritual called 'Bring Your Significant Other to Work' Day!" exclaimed Elizabeth, hands raised into the air as though she were praising the sun. "Since my Guest technically does that every single time he brings his robotic companion to Tartarus, it felt only natural for me to participate!" To punctuate this statement, she gripped the not-quite-a-hand of her compatriot. "Isn't that right?"
Zeruel — manifest as a horrifically distorted skull amidst a mass of shadow and paper-thin tentacles — gazed imperiously at them. "THIS ELEVATOR HAS BEEN ASCENDING ENDLESSLY, YET ITS RELATIVE POSITION HAS BEEN STAGNANT. YOUR REALM'S INHERENT TOPOLOGY IS CONFUSING."
"Silly dear, spacetime is not a thing here, as you very well know~"
"POINT CONCEDED." Zeruel then narrowed his eyes upon Igor. "SHE REQUESTED THAT I SEEK YOUR BLESSING FOR OUR UNION." The blazing fire in his eyes narrowed even further, becoming as stars. "LET IT BE KNOWN THAT YOUR COMPLIANCE IS NOT A FACTOR."
"...this development is interesting enough that I will allow it. Just so long as she does not forget her duties, you may proceed as you will," acknowledged Igor.
Elizabeth clapped her hands together. "Splendid! Come, my dear Avatar of Might: let us retire to my room!"
"I DOUBT THE GEOMETRICAL MANIFOLDS OF YOUR DWELLING WILL WITHSTAND THE FORCE OF OUR CONSUMMATION."
Elizabeth snapped her fingers. "Ah, of course! How silly of me; we'll use my brother's room instead. Come along now!"
Theo stared, slack-jawed as Elizabeth dragged her Angelic abomination (or perhaps abominable Angel) to a distant corner of the Velvet Room. "B-b-but sister...my room is where I keep all my things...!"
Igor simply smiled, as usual. "What an unusual turn of events..."
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In that non-canonical timeline, Zeruel would be available to try his hand at Persona Fusions. Naturally, due to brute forcing it all the time, he always gives a Fusion Accident without fail.
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Yu educates Akechi on Wacky Timeline Shenanigans
CONTEXT: Given recent drama involving Shido's attempt at using Shinji as a means to contact Goro Akechi, one reader commented "Judging from Shido's behavior, he is still a bit of a scumbag, but I do wonder if it is possible that he is genuinely trying to reconcile with his son and doesn't know how so he unfortunately relying on his political skills to do so which is only making things worse." Mostly because of how visceral Akechi is with regards to anything related to Shido, regardless of the timeline.
To which I remarked:
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You can tell how new Akechi (and Ren by proxy) are to the whole 'different timeline' game based on how visceral their reactions are by comparison to Minato and Yu.
/A Very Hypothetical Conversation, Somewhere, Somewhen/
Yu: You really need to get over this hate fetish you've got going with your old man. It's kind of creepy.
Akechi: First of all, why are you talking to me? Secondly, I don't do fetishes.
Ren: Debatable.
Akechi: Who invited you?
Yu: Anyway, you really shouldn't view old opponents as being intrinsically antagonistic. You'd be surprised at how things may turn out.
Akechi: Oh, is that so? Then enlighten me as to your most bizarre occurrence.
Yu: The serial murderer that my team was trying to investigate? There was one timeline where he ended up getting married to my little cousin Nanako.
Ren: *shudders in the manner of someone who feels like the natural order's been violated*
Minato: *slowly blinks* Wait, didn't you once say she was only six-?
Yu: Timeline Shenanigans. The age difference between Adachi and Nanako that time around was only about five years. It was still weird though. I was actually Tohru's best man, believe it or not.
Akechi: I fail to see the equivalence.
Ren: ...I think I see it. Imagine if Shido instead got hitched with...oh, I don't know, Sae Niijima. And they were somehow disgustingly happy with each other.
Akechi: *shudders in the manner of someone who feels like the natural order's been violated*
Yu: Point being that even if your father's still a dick, that doesn't mean he's completely and utterly irredeemable.
Akechi: And I. Don't. CARE.
Minato: I'd say that's my line...but I don't care.
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Naturally, this joke about Nanako and Adachi getting married in one timeline (with Yu being the best man) actually ended up becoming canonical, as seen in Yu's Sidestory.
And that's all for now!
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Author's Note: Gotta keep some omakes in reserve in case of future delays. Hope you enjoyed!
Normal updates will resume soon, hopefully.
/now
/back to Xenoblade 3
/why does this game have so much content