The Healing Power of Water

There was a bounce in Severus's step as he made his way towards the dungeons. The dark cloud that had lingered over his head had turned to drizzle. Even though there were still many words left unspoken, something in the balance of him and Lily had tilted. But still, there was danger in that, too. Even if by some miracle they would become friends again, they could never show it for the world to see.

He could never abandon the path that he had chosen for himself. He was in too deep. It had been Lucius Malfoy who had offered him a place to stay at his manor after graduation. It had been him who had recommended Severus's talents to the Dark Lord; with an emphasis on his talents, because he certainly wouldn't have chosen him for his Half-blood status. Severus had accepted the offer, as it meant food and shelter, a guaranteed job and most importantly, a chance to leave Cokeworth behind forever. There were too many painful memories tied to that industrious town. He needed to sever the ties. All of its ties – except Lily. She had tied his hands on his back with a knot he couldn't solve.

Mulciber and Rosier were following him at the heels as he entered Professor Slughorn's classroom. The Gryffindor's were already seated, and he searched around the room for Lily, thinking swiftly on how he could join her without it drawing too much attention to the two shadows behind him.

'Please – join miss Evans here, mister Snape,' said Slughorn as he pointed at a table in the middle. 'I need to see the two of you working together again.'

And the problem solved itself. Making it appear as though he was reluctant, he slumped down in the seat beside her. 'You wrote to Slughorn about this, haven't you?' he mumbled under his breath.

Lily nodded in confirmation. 'I asked him if he could make you sit with me again. He agreed.'

'You should've been in Slytherin,' said Severus. 'You are far too cunning for your own good.'

'A second compliment from you,' said Lily, bobbing her head in approval. 'I'm honoured. Any idea what we're going to cover this year for our N.E. – never mind that, of course you do.'

'Alchemy,' said Severus, unable to hide his own excitement. 'We're going to cover the hermetic principles of the four basic elements over the next couple of weeks. Hopefully we'll go more in depth after –'

'Nerd,' Lily coughed under her breath.

'I know you well enough to know that you like this as much as I do.'

'Still a nerd.'

'We'll be covering the hermetic principles of the four basic elements over the next few weeks.' A piece of chalk was writing along with Professor Slughorn's words on the blackboard. 'Can anyone tell me what the four basic elements are?'

Lily shot her hand up in the air. 'Earth, air, fire and water, sir.'

'Well said, miss Evans,' said Slughorn. 'Next time, please wait your turn before you speak.'

'Who's the nerd now?'

'Oh hush, Severus.'

'The symbols for the four elements – copy this down please, for the elements are as followed.' The piece of chalk drew four triangles on the blackboard. 'The downward-pointing triangle symbolised water. The other downward-pointing triangle with a line through the middle is earth. The upward-pointing triangle is fire, and the upward-pointing triangle with a line through the middle is air. Remember this because you'll find these symbols in your N.E.W.T.s written exam. We're going to start our lecture today on the first one; water. The element connected to Slytherin's house. Now, can anyone tell me some facts about water – you, miss Macdonald.'

'It's the base for most of the potions we brew,' Mary answered.

'Excellent. You, mister Lupin?'

Remus Lupin hesitated to answer. 'Low and high tide are caused by the gravitational pull of the moon.'

'And without the ocean's currents, life on earth may not be possible,' Slughorn added. 'Well said, mister Lupin. Mister Rosier?'

'A cure for hangovers.' Several snickers echoed through the classroom. 'Unless there's a potion for it that I'm unaware of.'

'If there was, water would definitely its base ingredient,' said Slughorn, laughing along. 'Anyone else? Mister Snape?'

'Water is symbolically persistent,' he answered. 'Rivers take years upon years to form, and yet it carves its way through rock, destroying everything that came before in its path.'

Slughorn looked pleased. 'Wonderfully said, mister Snape. And a very applicable philosophy to the members of Slytherin's House as well.'

'You're right,' Lily whispered as Slughorn continued to ask questions. 'You are a bit like a river.'

Severus raised an eyebrow. 'How am I like a river?'

'Because you're persistent.'

Not nearly enough, Severus thought to himself.

'And you slowly carve your way into things,' Lily continued. 'Into Hogwarts. Into Slytherin. Into my family. Into your own place in this world.' Into my soul as well.

'Your family?'

They miss you – especially dad. He likes having you around.'

'I'm not going back to Cokeworth for Christmas, if that's what you're asking.'

'You never have, nor do I expect you will.'

'Lily, what is it you're asking of –'

'—as a surprise for all of you,' Slughorn interrupted, 'we're going on a little fieldtrip next week. We won't go far. We'll make our way over to the Great Lake and then we're going to go in it. In it, yes. To fully understand water, we are going to immerse ourselves in it. From the Lake we are going to collect water plants that can be used as potion ingredients, and we'll be putting them to use over the next few weeks.'

'How exactly are we going to go into the Lake, Professor?' asked Mary.

'With the use of Gillyweed,' said Slughorn. 'Professor Sprout has kindly provided us with a rare supply of it.'

Lily nudged Severus in the ribs. 'What's Gillyweed?'

'I read about it in Sapworthy's book,' said Severus. 'It's a slimy plant found in the Mediterranean Sea. If you eat it, you'll grow gills for a limited amount of time.'

'So it's like Muggle diving,' said Lily while bobbing her head in approval, 'only a lot better. This is going to be fun.'

'It will be. Especially if I can harvest some ingredients for my own potion supplies.'

A twinkle formed in Lily's eyes. 'There's the Severus I know. What else do you think – hey, where are you going?'

'Look on the board,' he said while waving in the general direction of Professor Slughorn. 'I'll get the ingredients for the assignment, and since you like stoking fires so much, you can light the fire underneath the cauldron.'

…o0o…

Running. Many years ago, even before his first encounter with Lily, Severus had been watching people. People had often crinkled their nose at his presence, so he resorted to hide behind bushes, trees, fences and walls…and watched.

He had seen people walking their dogs. People fighting. Comforting each other. The young ones in a hurry. The elderly taking their time. Couples making love to each other in the park once the sun had gone down. But nothing had fascinated him more than those who were running. Sometimes in groups, sometimes alone, people would run from point A to point B, only to return to point A again. Desperate to understand the meaning of it, he had once gathered all his courage together, and walked up to a lady who had been running around the park. To clear my head little duck, she had told him with a smile, and disappeared around the corner. He had been running after since. It made him feel like he was flying.

After today's lesson with Lily, he needed to clear his head. Dressed in the most loose-fitting Muggle clothes he owned, he made his way out to the Grounds and sprinted his way towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The pleasant scent of dry soil lingered in the air, and it pulled the negative spirals in his mind down into the ground as he ran.

Running did more than clear his head. It had become a way to push his boundaries. To ignore and overcome the sharp stinging in his ribs after running a mile longer than the previous day. For now, he ran his way around the Great Lake, feeling the natural high coursing through his veins. He circled the Lake again and again and again, until dinner in the Great Hall had been served, the students had gone up to their dormitories, and the sun had gone to rest behind the Scottish mountains.

Sweat was dripping down to the tips of his hair when he returned to the Slytherin dormitory. Most of his housemates had already gone off to sleep. He tip-toed his way down to the showers, tossed off the clothes that clung to his skin and twisted the cold tap. Steam rose from his body as he stepped underneath the icy-cold water. He rested his head against the dark-green tiles, welcoming the cooling sensation.

Pyromaniac. Images of Lily were seeping through the cracks of his mind. Swaying as the wind. Self-centered. Proud. He banged his head against the tiles. 'Get out,' he gritted through his teeth. 'Get out. Get out. Get out!' The fire ignited underneath my heart.

Tears were rolling down his cheeks. He wanted to be near her, down to his very core, he wanted to be near her. And her wanted to be far from her, as far away as possible. Impossible woman. The salty taste of his tears touched his lips, and quickly he rinsed them off, cleansing himself from the feelings she instilled in him. The mention of her family had been the hardest blow. Down to the red hair and the green eyes, her father looked just like her. Had welcomed him with open arms since the first time he set foot over the threshold of her family's home. Had allowed him to spent nights sleeping on their couch. Fed him. Ran with him. Helped him – and never took pity on him. Her father had taught him that not all men were evil. Some were capable of healing, too.

By the time he was certain he had no more tears left to cry, he dried himself off, put on his ragged pyjamas and crawled into his four-poster bed. With a rough pull on the curtains, he shrouded himself in darkness. 'Lumos.' With the tip of his wand he conjured a tiny ball of light above his head. He never liked being surrounded by complete darkness. There were no distractions in the dark that could take his mind away from her. He looked up at the light, radiating like a tiny little star. Spirited. Intoxicating. Self-sacrificing. Inevitable.

With the light shimmering in his eyes, he drifted away under the surface of slumber, not knowing that high above him at the very top of the Gryffindor tower, Lily was lying in bed, staring at the exact same light.