March 23rd - April 27th, 2006

Dean grinned as he collected the cash, ignoring the disgruntled look from his opponent and the guy's buddies as he did. Sometimes, it was just too easy.

"Been a pleasure, gentleman," Dean tossed over his shoulder as he turned and began to head towards the door. He heard them grumbling behind him and didn't bother to try and hide his own glee.

For once, it had been a good night. Ankeny was a few states in the rearview mirror, him and Sam having made it to somewhere in Oklahoma. Sam still wasn't what Dean would call good, but after five months he was faring somewhat better – they both were. The nightmares were still a regular occurrence, but Sam was at least sleeping now. Neither of them were happy that, despite turning over every stone they could think of, they hadn't seen hide nor hair of their dad, but they'd recently seemed to settle into some sort of unspoken truce that had stopped Sam from sniping at him about it at least.

St. Louis had left Dean shaken for a bit, the shifter's words rattling around, unwelcome, in his brain, but even that and the memories it had drudged up had begun to fade back into the background once more.

The night out – some drinks and some bar food, maybe a little shore leave if he were lucky – had been like sun breaking through the clouds after a long storm. Exciting enough that he hadn't even minded when Sam opted to go hang out by the car and scrounge through the paper instead of play his wingman. Running into the wannabe bikers had just been the cherry on top of it all.

Outside, the cool night air broke against his skin, refreshing after the heat of the bar. The faint smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke lingered, but was largely masked by the earthy aroma of the many trees surrounding The Loading Dock, their stomping grounds for the evening. His brother was still camped out on the hood of the Impala, nose buried in the newspaper. Dean managed to catch his eye, grin widening as he waved the wad of cash in the air.

"You know, we could get day jobs once in a while," Sam pointed out, his tone a mix of irritation and disapproval – a tone that Dean found he couldn't have cared less about.

"Hunting's our day job," Dean quipped, starting to count out bills. He had really cleaned up. "And the pay is crap."

"Yeah, but hustling pool? Credit card scams? It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean."

Even Sam nagging wasn't dampening his mood tonight.

"Well, let's see. Honest?... Fun and easy?" he retorted, bringing up each of his hands to mime a scale, tilting his head as if to consider his options for dramatic effect before dropping the second. The laugh he got out of Sam told him his brother wasn't really upset – the good mood seemed to be contagious. "It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it. It's what we were raised to do."

"Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked."

"Yeah, says you," Dean dismissed lightly, going back to counting the bills. There was no need to rehash that conversation. "We got a new gig or what?"

As Sam launched into an explanation about their next potential case, something about mad cow disease and Oasis Plains, Oklahoma, Dean found his attention wavering. A strange sensation prickled at the back of his neck, almost as if someone was watching him. He turned his head slightly and glanced around surreptitiously, scanning the darkened parking lot and the treeline beyond it, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.

A moment later he could have sworn he heard something… a faint rustle, maybe, but his eyes still couldn't find anything. Then he could have sworn he heard a faint pop, like the sound of a champagne cork. But as quickly as it came, the feeling vanished, leaving Dean to wonder if he imagined it.

He tried to force himself back to focus on what Sam was saying, but his mind, traitor that it was, continued to drift, conjuring an image of dark blue eyes and a mischievous smile.

Lorelai

It had been months, but he found her still infiltrating his thoughts without warning, sneaking up when he least expected. He'd had a hard time not thinking about her, maintaining the walls he'd carefully built, after St. Louis, but a few nights out at the bar and a pretty blonde somewhere between St. Louis and Ankeny had helped dull that. For him to be thinking of her again now was ridiculous.

There was no reason for it, and he couldn't afford to get distracted, especially not by memories of someone who was probably halfway across the country by now, living her own life without a second thought for him. Someone he'd only thought he'd known anyway.

"Dean? You listening?" Sam's voice cut through his reverie.

"Yeah, yeah. Mad cow. Wasn't that on Oprah?" Dean replied distractedly, and immediately earning himself a look from his brother.

"You watch Oprah?"

Dean cursed silently, feeling a flash of irritation. Damn witch. He had to stop letting himself get distracted, thinking about her wasn't going to bring or do him any good.

"So this guy eats a bad burger. Why is it our kind of thing?" he asked, instead of answering the question. Sam still seemed amused but launched into the details and this time Dean listened.

As they climbed into the Impala a minute later, Dean did his best to completely shake off the odd feeling and his memories of the past. Wherever Lorelai Baudelaire was these days, he was sure she wasn't thinking of him, and he needed to stop thinking of her. Whatever they'd had, or hadn't had, was over. Maybe in some other universe, it could have worked out, but they were from two different worlds, and Dean had his own shit to worry about. He couldn't spend his time drowning in maybes and what ifs. This was his life, and he wasn't doing anyone any favors wishing otherwise.

It was dark by the time Lorelai appeared on the side of the road in Oklahoma a few miles outside of Oasis Plains, trees to one side, gravel road on her other, and the local dive, The Loading Dock, visible just a bit ahead. She shivered against the cool night air but shoved her hands into the pockets of her red leather jacket and began to walk, thoughts already drifting to what she'd order from the bar.

She'd just come off an undercover gig, posing as a Pure Blood supremacist in Santa Barbara, and she was beyond relieved to feel like she was in her own skin again. Most of the time she didn't mind the undercover work, but this time it had been rough, and she was very happy it had ended in as many arrests as it had. It was the kind of case that made it hard for her to feel anything but pessimistic, that left her feeling like it didn't matter what they did – no matter how many big bads got taken out, there'd always be hate in the world, and there'd always be some asshole trying to be the next bug that needed squashing. She still remembered Hermione telling them how Viktor Krum had told her his classmates still worshipped Grindelwald, aspired to be the next him, and that had been nearly fifty years after the wizard had been defeated and incarcerated.

An easy case, checking out some possible freak medical thing and helping out some Muggles was exactly what she needed, and she was happy to have an excuse not to be buzzing around MACUSA headquarters.

Approaching the edge of the parking lot, the neon sign for The Loading Dock casting a faint glow over the cars, Lorelai found her eyes sweeping the area out of habit, surveying the scene. There were a few patrons milling about, their laughter carrying across the night air, a few motorcycles mixed amongst the cars, a couple of smokers off to the side… and then she saw it.

There, gleaming under the neon light, was a familiar black Impala.

Lorelai blinked, freezing in her tracks, certain she must be seeing things. But no, there it was, unmistakable with its Kansas plates – Dean Winchester's beloved car, looking just as she remembered it. Her breath caught in her throat, and she noticed a tall figure sat on its hood, legs bent at an angle in front of him and what looked like a newspaper in hand. He was too much in the shadows for Lorelai to discern much of his face, but Lorelai could tell even from that distance it wasn't Dean, though she wasn't sure what to make of that.

For half a beat she considered turning back. This was supposed to be a simple night of recon, an opportunity to see if she picked up on any local chatter, before she dove into things tomorrow, not… whatever this was about to become. Before she could do anything, however, the bar's door swung open with a creak.

And there he was.

Dean Winchester stepped out into the night, a triumphant grin spread across his face. He looked good – better than good, if Lorelai was being honest with herself. He was dressed in his typical attire plus a leather coat she knew she'd seen in the trunk of his car, hair spiked up a bit in the front, and there was an easy confidence in his stride that made her heart ache.

Without thinking, Lorelai darted behind the nearest tree, her wand already in hand. She tapped it to her head, silently casting a quick Disillusionment charm, feeling the familiar sensation of an egg being cracked over her head as the spell took effect. And once she was camouflaged against her surroundings, she peered carefully around the tree trunk, eyes zeroing in on Dean.

He was waving a wad of cash in the air, clearly having had a successful night hustling pool, or possibly darts, she'd seen him do both. The sight was so achingly familiar that Lorelai felt her chest constrict. How many times had she watched him celebrate a win just like this? How many times had she been right there beside him, matching him shot for shot and basking in the afterglow of a job well done?

She knew she should go… or say something… or do anything besides hide in the trees. It was juvenile and beneath her. But as Dean approached the Impala, Lorelai's curiosity got the better of her and she crept closer, careful to stay hidden behind the treeline. She could hear their voices now, Dean's deep timbre a balm to her frayed nerves even as it reopened old wounds.

"You know, we could get day jobs once in a while," the man on the hood was saying, his tone disapproving. Lorelai frowned, the voice sounding almost familiar but still not one she could recognize. It definitely wasn't John, and she wondered who Dean was traveling with these days.

"Hunting's our day job," Dean retorted, and Lorelai could practically hear the eye roll in his voice. "And the pay is crap."

"Yeah, but hustling pool? Credit card scams? It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean."

Lorelai held back a snort. Whoever this guy was, he clearly didn't know Dean very well if he thought that argument would get him anywhere. Sure enough, Dean's response was playful and dismissive.

"Well, let's see. Honest?... Fun and easy? It's no contest. Besides, we're good at it. It's what we were raised to do."

"Yeah, well, how we were raised was jacked."

There was a beat of silence, and Lorelai found herself holding her breath. She knew how touchy Dean could be about his upbringing, how fiercely protective he was of his father despite... well, everything. But Dean's voice remained light when he spoke again, even as he counted out the bills in his hands.

"Yeah, says you. We got a new gig or what?"

As the conversation turned to their next case, Lorelai felt a wave of emotions crash over her. Anger, hurt, longing - they all swirled together in a potent cocktail that left her dizzy. She should leave. She knew she should leave. But her feet remained rooted to the spot, her eyes fixed on Dean's profile.

He looked... happy. Relaxed in a way she'd rarely seen him. And it hurt, realizing that he seemed to be doing just fine without her. Better than fine, even. Meanwhile, she'd spent the last six months throwing herself into work, trying desperately to outrun the ache in her chest that never seemed to fade.

A small, petty part of her wanted to reveal herself. To storm over there and demand answers. Why hadn't he called? Why hadn't he fought for her? But she knew those questions were unfair, especially when she already knew the answers. She'd been the one to conceal who she was, and she'd been the one that had decided to lie to him about it for months. And besides all that, Dean had made his feelings perfectly clear in the aftermath. She was something he was supposed to hunt, not someone he could share his life with. There wasn't really anything more she needed to know.

And yet... watching him now, seeing the easy camaraderie he shared with his new partner, Lorelai couldn't help but long for what they'd had, and couldn't help but wonder if there was a way she could have handled it all that wouldn't have been a complete shit show. If maybe, just maybe, they could have found a way to make it work.

The thought was like a bucket of ice water, shocking her back to reality. It was ridiculous. She was Lorelai Baudelaire, for fuck's sake. She'd fought in a war, faced down dark wizards, and survived losing her soulmate once already. She didn't need Dean Winchester or his stupidly handsome face or his infuriatingly charming grin. Screw him. If he didn't want her, she wasn't going to waste her time or her breath. She was better on her own anyway.

Lorelai was so lost in her own thoughts that she almost missed the moment Dean's posture changed, his head turning slightly as if sensing something amiss. Her heart leapt into her throat. There was no way he could see her, but she'd stayed too long.

Without another thought, Lorelai closed her eyes and turned on the spot, Disapparating with a soft pop.

The familiar lobby of her apartment building materialized around her, the sudden shift in surroundings leaving her momentarily disoriented. Lorelai stumbled slightly, catching herself on the nearby wall as she tried to steady her racing heart.

What the hell had she been thinking? Six months of carefully constructed walls, of throwing herself into work and meaningless hookups, all threatening to crumble because of one chance encounter. She pressed her forehead against the cool plaster, taking deep, steadying breaths.

No. She refused to let this derail her, she was better than this. Dean was fine - more than fine, if his easy laughter was any indication. And she... well, she would be fine too. Eventually.

With a determined set to her jaw, Lorelai pushed herself off the wall and made her way to the elevator. As she rode up to her floor, she mentally recalibrated her plans. The case in Oklahoma was out - she couldn't risk running into Dean again, and she was sure he'd handle whatever was going on in Oasis Plains. It was fine, there were plenty of other cases she could jump on.

She'd swing by the office tomorrow, catch up on some paperwork. Ezra had wanted her eyes on some remains anyway. And tonight... well, tonight she needed a distraction.

As soon as she was through her apartment door, Lorelai pulled out her phone and fired off a quick text to Olivia.

Hey, you free tonight? Could use a night out.

The response came almost immediately.

Yes! Work was a bitch – that place on 27th and 5th in an hour?

Lorelai smiled, already feeling some of the tension ease from her shoulders. This was exactly what she needed - a night of drinks and dancing with her best friend, no thoughts of green eyes or freckles allowed.

Perfect. See you then.

As she headed to her bedroom to change, Lorelai made a silent vow to herself. No more pining, no more what ifs. She was just fine, and she'd been content with fine for years. Fine was safe, after all. Looking for happiness had only ever brought her heartbreak, and she'd had enough of that to last a lifetime. The last thing she needed was to keep torturing herself over something that was never going to happen.

The next few weeks passed in a blur of cases and paperwork, Lorelai throwing herself into work with renewed vigor. She took on extra assignments, volunteered for the toughest cases, anything to keep her mind occupied and her body exhausted enough that she didn't have time to dwell on a certain hunter or the general sad state of affairs her life was in.

The anniversary ball was drawing nearer, and while this year she at least wasn't having her name splashed around the papers for some imagined scandal, she was still very much dreading the event. This year she'd be staying with Harry and Ginny and had taken the following Monday and Tuesday off to stay through the actual anniversary and hopefully help them out with James while she was there. Ginny was six months pregnant with their second, and Harry had mentioned she was rather exhausted these days.

Seeing her family and friends, Lorelai knew, would be nice. The whole thing was always so bittersweet though… she didn't like it about herself, but it was hard to see them all so settled and happy in the lives they'd fought for while she was fighting to be content with fine, knowing her hopes of the same thing had been dashed eight years before.

Katie's return date, at least, was drawing nearer, and Lorelai found she was starting to count down the days. She was wary of what it would be like, staying put again, but her excitement to have her little sister back far outweighed her reservations.

It was late the Thursday before she was due back in England when her phone buzzed with an incoming text. Lorelai glanced at it, expecting some sort of nagging reminder from Nick about Julia's birthday or possibly a check-in from Katie. Instead, she found herself staring at an SOS message from Olivia.

911. Need you home ASAP. It's an emergency, meet me at Nick's.

Lorelai felt her heart fly into her throat. Olivia might have been dramatic about frivolous things – in her complaints about Lorelai's interest in things like spa days or taste in music – but she didn't mess around when it came to things like this. Lorelai could count on one hand the number of times she's received a message like that from her friend and she knew that if Olivia said it was an emergency, it was serious.

Without hesitation, Lorelai fired off a message to both Margo and Brixton, telling them what they needed to take over the stakeout she was on, and grabbed her bag. Within moments, she had Apparated back to her apartment building and was heading towards the elevators. Her mind was already racing wondering what had happened – was it Julia, Nick? Damien or Nat? Why Nick's apartment? She supposed that was better than St. Fern's, but that wasn't saying much.

When she finally reached Nick's door she knocked urgently. It swung open almost immediately, revealing Nick's irritated face. Lorelai found her brow furrowing in confusion before he even spoke.

"Oh thank Merlin," he exhaled, ushering her inside. "Liv and Ian are in the living room, and they're refusing to tell me anything until we were both here."

That Nick seemed annoyed rather than worried or upset gave her some peace of mind, but Lorelai found herself following him in still preparing for the worst. Of course, what she found only created more confusion, as Olivia and Ian were both there, beaming and practically vibrating with excitement. There were no signs of distress, no evidence of any sort of emergency. If anything they looked a bit… anxious.

"What's going on?" Lorelai asked, her eyes darting between her friends before narrowing in Olivia's direction. "Liv, your message… I thought something was wrong."

Olivia had the grace to look sheepish at least, and Lorelai caught the disapproving yet affectionate look Ian shot her.

"The hell did you say, Liv?" he asked, and Olivia shifted on her feet.

"I'm sorry, Lorelai! It's just… I needed you to come home. I didn't mean to worry you, honest! It's just, we have news, and it couldn't wait!"

Before Lorelai could demand further explanation, Ian cleared his throat. "We're getting married," he announced, his arm wrapped tightly around Olivia's waist.

For a moment, Lorelai just stared at them, her brain struggling to catch up. Then, all at once, the reality of their words hit her.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed, a genuine smile breaking across her face for the first time in weeks. She rushed forward, pulling both Olivia and Ian into a tight hug. "That's incredible! Congratulations!"

Nick was right behind her, clapping Ian on the back with a grin.

"About damn time, man. I was staring to think you'd never work up the nerve to ask her."

Ian laughed, his eyes never leaving Olivia.

"Trust me, I've been wanting to. Needed to have my ducks in a row first. Why do you think I went in on the recording studio?"

The next hour was a whirlwind of celebration. Nick produced a bottle of champagne from somewhere, and soon they were all sprawled across his living room, glasses in hand as Olivia and Ian recounted the proposal story.

"I had it all planned out," Ian was saying, his eyes bright with joy. "Romantic dinner, walk through Central Park... but then this one," he nudged Olivia affectionately, "goes and finds the ring while she's doing laundry."

Olivia laughed, the sound light and carefree. "What can I say? I have a nose for treasure."

As they continued to chat and plan, Lorelai felt a warmth spread through her chest. This was her family, the people who had been by her side through thick and thin. And now, two of them were taking this huge step together. It was beautiful, and a little bittersweet.

"Nick, I was uh, hoping you might be my best man?" Ian asked, but Nick was nodding before he could even finish the question.

"'Course, man. And I assume this one will be my co-conspirator through all the wedding madness?" he asked, nodding towards Lorelai.

"Obviously," Olivia scoffed. "As if I'd trust anyone else to be my maid of honor." A lump formed in Lorelai's throat, unexpected emotion welling up.

"I'd be honored," she said softly, reaching out to squeeze Olivia's hand.

Their moment was interrupted by the pitter-patter of small feet. Julia appeared in the doorway, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"What's all the noise about?" she asked, her voice still thick with sleep.

"Sorry, Jules, did we wake you up?" Nick asked, standing to go to his daughter. At that moment, however, Julia's eyes landed on Lorelai and her eyes lit up.

"Lai! What are you doing home?" Julia ducked Nick's attempt to scoop her up and darted into Lorelai's arms.

"Hey Bug," Lorelai laughed, wrapping the nearly-nine-year-old in her arms. "What do you think I'm doing home?"

Julia thought hard, her eyes scanning the room, noticing Ian and Olivia were there too.

"Is it a party?"

"Sort of," Ian said, grinning at the little girl. "Your Aunt Liv and I have some exciting news."

Julia perked up even further at that, curiosity and excitement at having so many people around overcoming any lingering drowsiness.

"What is it?"

Olivia smiled, holding up her left hand to show off the ring.

"We're getting married."

Julia's eyes widened, a grin spreading across her face. "Really? That's so cool! Can I be in the wedding? Can I wear a pretty dress? Will there be cake?"

"The biggest cake you've ever seen," Ian promised solemnly.

Julia let out a squeal of delight, wiggling out of Lorelai's arms to throw herself at Olivia and Ian. "This is the best news ever!"

They let Julia stay up for a little while longer, indulging her questions about the wedding and basking in her excitement. But as the night wore on and her yawns became more frequent, Nick gently ushered her back to bed.

"Congratulations," Julia mumbled sleepily as Nick carried her down the hall. "I'm really happy for you guys."

While Nick tucked her in, Olivia and Ian took their leave, citing an early meeting the next day.

"We'll do a proper celebration soon," Olivia promised as she hugged Lorelai goodbye. "I know you're going away, and Ian has some gigs coming up but maybe in June?"

"Name the date and I'll be there. Wouldn't miss it for the world, you know that," Lorelai told her seriously.

As the door closed behind them, a hush fell over the apartment. Lorelai found herself at loose ends, the adrenaline from her rushed return home finally wearing off.

"Nightcap?" Nick offered, gesturing towards the balcony. Lorelai nodded gratefully, following him out into the cool night air.

They settled into the familiar patio chairs, a bottle of rum between them. For a while, they sat in companionable silence, sipping their drinks and staring out at the twinkling city lights.

"Hell of a night," Nick finally said, his voice quiet. Lorelai hummed in agreement, swirling the amber liquid in her glass.

"Yeah. I'm happy for them."

Nick glanced at her, a knowing look in his eye. "But?"

Lorelai sighed, slumping further into her chair. "No but. I am happy for them. It's just..."

"A reminder of what we don't have?" Nick finished for her. She nodded, grateful as always for his ability to read her so well.

"Yeah. Something like that," she conceded. Nick was quiet for a moment, contemplating his own glass. When he spoke again, his voice was heavy with an emotion Lorelai couldn't quite place.

"You know, sometimes I look at Julia and I think... this is it. This is my whole world. And most of the time, that's enough. More than enough. But then I see Liv and Ian, or any of our other friends pairing off, and I just..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"You wonder if you're missing out," Lorelai finished softly. Nick nodded, a rueful smile tugging at his lips.

"Is that selfish of me? To want more when I already have so much?"

"No. It's human," Lorelai assured him, reaching out to briefly squeeze his hand. "You ever think about finding someone?" she added after a beat, and Nick let out a humorless chuckle.

"Sure, all the time. But then I remember I'm a single dad with a demanding job and a complicated relationship with my ex, and suddenly it doesn't seem so feasible."

Lorelai winced slightly at the complicated relationship comment, but she couldn't deny its truth. Their history was messy, to say the least. It hadn't been an issue for her the last few years given her nearly nonexistent interest in dating, but it wasn't hard to imagine the problems it caused Nick. It wasn't like she'd never had someone decide dating her wasn't something they could handle if Nick were in the picture; she was sure it had happened in the other direction.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I know I haven't made things easy for you."

Nick shook his head, turning to face her. "Don't be. That's not what I meant. You're Julia's godmother, and my best friend. I wouldn't change that for anything."

Lorelai managed a small smile, grateful for Nick's understanding, that they were on the same page.

"Still, I know it can't be easy. Trying to date with all... this." She gestured vaguely between them. Nick shrugged.

"It is what it is. Besides, Julia comes first. Always has, always will, and you're the closest thing to a mother she's ever had… ever will have, probably. If someone can't understand that, then they're not worth my time anyway."

They lapsed into silence again, each lost in their own thoughts. Lorelai found herself reflecting on the twists and turns that had led them to this moment – their ill-fated attempt at a relationship, the mess that followed, and the friendship they'd managed to salvage from the wreckage. To Fred, and the life together they'd dreamed of. To Dean, and what might have been if things had been different.

"Do you ever wonder," Nick began, pulling her from her reverie, "if we made a mistake? You and me, I mean."

Lorelai blinked, surprised by the question. "Nick..."

He held up a hand, forestalling her response. "I'm not... I'm not saying we should try again or anything. I know we're better as friends. I just... sometimes I think about how simple it could have been. If we'd made it work."

Lorelai sighed, letting her head lull against his shoulder. She was guilty of feeling the same way at times, especially when things were falling apart around her. But then she would have memories of their tumultuous year together flashing through her mind. The good moments - lazy Sunday mornings with Julia and Katie, stolen kisses while they worked around the little house they'd rented. And the bad - screaming matches that left them both raw, the growing realization that they wanted fundamentally different things out of life.

"It wouldn't have been simple," she said finally. "You and me... we're oil and water, Nick. We work great as friends. But romantically? Fuck, we were such a disaster. We were young, and hurting, and we both wanted something we thought the other could give us."

From the corner of her eye she saw Nick nodding, a rueful smile on his face even as his arm came up around her shoulder, pulling her close despite the armrests between them.

"Yeah. I wanted the fantasy – perfect family, white picket fence, the happily ever after. And you…"

"I wanted to forget," Lorelai finished for him. "To bury my grief deep down and find a way to feel normal."

"We really were a disaster, weren't we?" Nick mused, that humorless chuckle slipping out again. Lorelai let out a soft snort, nodding. "At least we figured it out before we did any permanent damage."

Lorelai nodded again, thinking of Julia asleep in her room.

"Thank Merlin. Can you imagine if we'd actually tried to stick it out and gotten married?" she asked, and the laugh that Nick gave in response was a little lighter, holding some real mirth even if it was laced with bitterness.

"We'd have killed each other in a year," he said, shaking his head. "Maybe there's times I wish it weren't so, but you were definitely right. We're better off as is."

"I am sorry, you know," she found herself saying after a moment, voice softer than before. "For everything. For not being what you needed. For hurting you."

Nick was quiet for a long moment, his gaze fixed on the horizon, though he didn't let her go. When he finally spoke, his voice was gentle, matching hers.

"I'm sorry too. For trying to make you into something you're not. For not being strong enough to walk away when I should have."

Lorelai felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. It wasn't often they talked about their relationship like this – usually, they both preferred to pretend it had never happened. But tonight, with the joy of Olivia and Ian's engagement still hanging in the air, it felt important to acknowledge the past. His words stung, but Lorelai couldn't deny their truth. She'd never been cut out for the life Nick wanted – the stability, the routine. And Nick had never truly understood her need for constant motion, for the thrill of the chase.

"For what it's worth," she said after a while, "I think you're an amazing father. And someday, you'll find someone who sees that, and that loves you and Julia the way you both deserve."

Nick's smile was small but genuine. "Thanks, Lorelai. And you... you know you deserve to be happy too, right? To find someone who accepts all of you, magic and baggage included."

Lorelai felt her throat tighten, unbidden images of Dean flashing through her mind. "Yeah, well. Easier said than done in my line of work."

"Maybe," Nick conceded. "But not impossible."

"Do you think it's worth it?" she asked suddenly, her voice barely above a whisper. "Putting yourself out there, risking your heart like that?" Nick was quiet for a long moment, considering her question.

"I think," he said slowly, "that the alternative is a pretty lonely existence. But you know, if nothing else, we've always got each other, right? You, me, and Jules against the world. Even if we didn't make the perfect couple. What we managed to save is more than some people have."

Lorelai managed a small smile at that. "Yeah. I guess we do."

As the night wore on, their conversation drifted to lighter topics - funny stories from work, updates on mutual friends. But underneath it all, Lorelai could feel something shift. A quiet acknowledgment of the paths not taken, of the dreams still unfulfilled.

And as she finally bid Nick goodnight and made her way back to her own apartment, Lorelai found herself mulling over their conversation, thoughts of the promise she'd made to herself weeks before dancing in her head. Maybe Nick was right and the alternative to finding that happiness with someone wasn't ideal, but he was right too about the fact that even if they hadn't found love they did have more than some people got. Pining and wishing wasn't going to get her anywhere, and the best thing she could do was find a way to be content.

The thought followed her into sleep, where green eyes and a crooked smile continued to haunt her dreams, regardless of whatever she tried to tell herself when she was conscious. Some things she just couldn't control.

Hello all! Super late, but I managed to still make my weekly update 😊

Hope you all enjoyed! Thank you as always for reading and your feedback, it means so much and never fails to bring a smile to my face

Next chapter is a monster... I'm still trying to figure out if I should split it into two parts or if works okay as one. if I'm able to post sooner I will, but likely it will go up on 10/22. I've got another trip this week and I'm doubtful I'll have any real downtime until I'm back.