On the second of the three days, Brock woke with a mess of feelings lingering in his mind. Brian's arms were wrapped tightly around him, squeezing him almost while he lay still asleep in the big bed. But his head was in chaos, and the dream that he had that night hadn't done anything to help either. Long distance with Brian was not something that he welcomed with open arms, and now that he had slept on it, on those thoughts and emotions, he knew for sure that this was something that he honestly did not want to go through with. He didn't want to leave Brian... He didn't want to risk his ex girlfriend returning, and he didn't want to risk their relationship that was going so well already. Everything was spiraling out of control, and it all led back to the fact that Brian had lied, and Brock clearly still had some trust issues with his boyfriend, even though he didn't want to admit it. It was always hard to move on, to not dwell on the past, and he didn't know what he was going to do.
So, he felt distant from Terroriser as the younger man finally stirred from slumber. He woke with a loud yawn, ruffling the blankets as he turned over to face Moo, "Morning." He greeted, sleepy smile never leaving his face. Waking up next to the man he loved would be something he would never grow tired of. Brock kissed him, but he could still feel the uneasiness churning around in his gut. What did this all mean? Would these sudden feelings ever go away? But he already knew the answer to that; not until he learned he could trust Brian again, and he didn't know when that would be. It was hard telling, because as the second day went on, those feelings only seemed to get worse, and Brock was drawing inward on himself once again. Brian would have been a fool not to notice. But, he didn't bring it up, because he thought maybe it was just the sadness of them separating that was bringing the older man down.
Things had been going so well, but Moo's thoughts were definitely getting the best of him. Brian had been nothing but caring, loving and truthful since the whole ordeal of drama happened between them... So he wondered why he couldn't just trust the Irishman, trust him and know that they were going to be okay and that their growing relationship would suffice. Brock knew he never wanted to feel that type of hurt again, so maybe his brain was only trying to prepare him for the worst case scenario. His heart was more guarded than ever and he hated it.
Today, the couple spent the day together as well. There was still so much more that they could do in LA, and as long as they were together, Brian didn't care. However, they spent most of the time just hanging around each other, being lazy. After breakfast, they played a few games together for some videos. They'd been doing that a lot lately, uploading with just each other, and after they got done playing video games, they headed out and about into the streets of the city. It was a nice day, so instead of Terroriser driving, the two walked to a nearby park to bask in the sunshine. Conversation was light, and Brian was just trying to figure out what was going on inside Brock's head.
"What do you want to do for lunch?" Moo inquired, breaking the silence. It was as if they were dancing around the elephant in the room, pretending things were normal.
Brian shrugged, startled slightly from the older man's sudden question when he was deep in thought. "Do you want to go out for lunch?" He asked.
"Yeah," Brock nodded. "That sounds nice." He said, and there was a nearby fast food place so they didn't have to walk very far. Lunch was quiet as well, only small talk being made, and Brian so desperately wanted to ask Brock what was wrong, but he knew that this was not the time and place for it. He made a mental note of it to ask him later, and he hoped that his boyfriend would just be honest with him. Once they were done with lunch, the walk home was slow as they let their food settle. Hand in hand, they strolled the sidewalk, until a few drops of rain had managed to fall from the sky.
"Aw fuck," The Irishman got out as they walked; he blinked the drops away as they landed on his face. Of course, the day they chose to walk it would rain. He then felt Brock squeeze his hand tightly, and they picked up the pace, until suddenly, it began pouring! It was cold on their skin as thunder cracked in the dark sky. The two laughed as they became drenched running down the sidewalk. It rarely rained in LA, and it had yet to do so since Brian had moved into his new apartment. But as of now, it was raining cats and dogs. After struggling to make it, both men finally arrived to Brian's apartment, and the younger man struggled to get the door open as he fumbled with the key in his slippery hands, wet from the rain. He and Brock were drenched by the time he pushed the door open and got inside. Immediately, his blue eyes went to Brock, "You're soaked." He laughed.
"So are you," The older man replied, a shiver going through his body from the rain. There was something about the moment with them standing there in their wet clothes that made things intimate. Brock knew that his boyfriend was wearing him down. He always did and he always would.
Brian grabbed his hands, bringing them close to his mouth, and exhaled; his warm breath spreading over Brock's skin. They made eye contact again, but he could still tell something was wrong with the man he loved so dearly. "I'll get some towels." He managed, lips still against Brock's fingers, before pulling away and heading upstairs to the bathroom. The carpet was wet, their clothes dripping with the water. If they didn't get out of the wet garments soon, they'd get sick and there'd be a mess in the house. As soon as Brian disappeared upstairs, Brock let his wall down. Should he say something? Should he let Terroriser know what was on his mind? He stood there weighing the pros and cons before Brian's loud footsteps brought him back to reality.
"Brian..." He almost said it. He almost let it out right then and there. There was a weight on his chest, on his heart and it was too much to bear.
"Yeah?" He answered as he gave Brock a towel, and began drying himself off. He was hesitant. He didn't want to admit to it. He didn't want Brian to know that he didn't trust him. So, without thinking, he wracked his brain for some bullshit excuse, even though it was killing him inside. They spent the rest of the second day, on the couch, in each other's arms watching movies. The inner turmoil haunted Brock, and Brian was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. But by the time the third day came around, things were ready to break and come apart at the seams. "Are you alright?" Brian questioned finally. It was mid morning when he asked, and Brock waived it off.
"I'm fine." He replied. It was the last day for them to spend together, Brock's flight departing in the morning, and nothing had been said about the issue at hand. He was cooking at the time, and when he felt Brian approach him and grab him by the arm, he could feel a lump rising in his throat. Quickly, he swallowed it down; he did not want this to happen right now. It couldn't happen, not with him about to leave the very next day. What would become of them if his doubts were expressed and known? What would Brian think? Why couldn't they just have a successful relationship? He turned to face Brian, "Can we just... Forget about it? Today's our last day together and I just..." He trailed off, not knowing what else to say. But he knew that the Irishman knew something was wrong.
His voice was soft, "Brocky," He spoke, the affectionate nickname only making things worse. "Talk to me... I know something's been bothering you, I'm not stupid." Brock didn't say anything, but he put down his cooking utensils, and tried to think of how he wanted to say this as best as he could. There was no easy way, and before he knew it, he was a mess, breaking apart, coming undone, oversized tears threatening to fall. Brian's eyebrows rose on his forehead, shocked at his boyfriend to say the least. His arms found him, and he enveloped him, caringly. "Brock," His voice broke at seeing the older man like this. "Please."
He couldn't even look Brian in the eye, "She's coming back after I leave, isn't she?" That was what had been bothering him this whole time. This was the question that made him feel like dirt, made him feel like Brian didn't love him, made him feel like this wasn't worth it. Everything he and Brian had worked for was a sham, and now it was all done and over with. He couldn't do it, couldn't deal with it. And his heart hammered away in his chest as he waited for the younger man to answer. He was afraid of what he was going to hear. "Don't lie to me either," He continued, voice wavering with hurt, with fear... Hell, he could barely stand here right now, so he sunk to the kitchen floor, Brian still desperately holding onto him, clinging to him for dear life.
"Are you fucking crazy?" Terroriser couldn't help but to say. "No she's not coming back!" He wasn't mad, he was only shocked. And his face fell at the realization of just how much he had hurt Brock since all of this had began. He had damaged his heart, and only time would heal the wounds. "Don't you trust me?" Brian inquired, cupping the older man's face, leaning over him as they were a messy heap on the tiled floor.
Brock shook his head, "How can I?" He looked up at Brian through dark, teary eyes.
"So what now?" She questioned as she eyed Brian, trying not to cry. At some point she had realized that he didn't love her, that his feelings were elsewhere. It took time but she eventually accepted it.
Brian shrugged, feeling bad for leading her on but deep down he knew it wasn't his fault. This conversation was long overdue. "I don't know but it's probably best if we don't talk anymore."
She nodded. "I get it. I hope you can finally be happy."The break up hadn't been messy. It was just something that needed to be done and she needed closure from the Irishman. Now she could move on.
Brian sighed as he remembered the conversation. "I'm so sorry." He got out. "This is all my fault... Brock, I promise you, I don't want anybody else but you. I love you, I love you so much." His words were whispers as his mouth neared Brock's. He used his thumbs to wipe away the fat tears that wetted his boyfriend's face before pressing their lips together in what was the most intense kiss he had ever felt from the older man. He could feel Moo succumbing, melting as their lips danced together, creating perfect harmony. Brian knew he could never take back anything he ever did, but he knew he could fix it, and he'd try everything in his power to do so. "Can I show you?" He murmured against his lips. "Can I show you how much I love you?"
And Brock didn't have words, he only nodded as he kissed Brian again.