Chapter Six: Just Pretend

"We'll try again
When we're not so different
We will make amends
'Til then I'll just pretend"

The Yule Ball.

It was all I heard about since Dumbledore informed the staff, and we as the professors had to give the news to the student body. Hogwarts was to host the infamous dance that the Triwizard Tournament traditionally held in its honor. I couldn't go anywhere without the chatter of every student buzzing about dresses, dress robes, and dates. Girls who were hoping for their crushes to ask them out, boys who were either excited at the prospect of asking the girls they fancied, and other boys who dreaded the idea altogether.

Most of the staff seemed excited about something as grand as the ball to happen since nothing like this normally happened at Hogwarts. The closest event to compare to was when Horace Slughorn used to teach and host extravagant parties. I concurred that everyone needed a break from the fierce tasks that awaited the four champions, and what better way than to host a dance with lavish dresses, delectable food, and pleasant music? At least they were more preoccupied with that instead of the gossip surrounding me and Severus, even Harry and Hermione; we were all officially old news by the grace of the Gods.

It was rather mirthful at times to watch how the student body had turned their full attention to this spectacular dance and had a harder time concentrating on their studies. Other times I found it to be a problem when it came to my classroom and the importance of focusing on the tasks at hand.

I could see this issue more present in my class as the days drew closer to the event. My students had moved on from displaying their abilities to working on using certain charms. We had separated the classes not by grade after they progressed, but by what their energy would be able to produce, magic-wise. In one class, the lowest tier, simple summoning charms, creating illusions of smaller things like flowers, or animals, and the use of small, small shields. The next class would include all of that, but greater distance with summoning charms, and stronger shields while adding the principles of using other spells for their grade to produce.

The next and hardest class involved those who had no problem producing those results and could handle much more complicated spell work, and that could be tricky to teach to a class with students from different years. Thankfully between Aurora and I, we were able to handle working more personally from those in different years, though that didn't come without its challenges. Usually, this part of the lessons was always somewhat of a balancing act. Those who seemed to have an aptitude for their energy were able to catch on, while others did need a bit more extra practice and coaching. Yet, for some, when learning about certain charms like the Shielding charm, Accio Charm, or Bombarda spell I had more issues getting others to pay a decent amount of attention, and at least two of these charms were very important to not handle so lightly.

Due to their negligence, they ended up with homework to produce these charms by the next week for me. Granted, Bombarda was something I would refrain from using outside of the classroom and continue to practice within the class, but otherwise, the least they should be able to do is shield themselves.

I had to admit that the idea of an embellished, formal dance sounded fun. We never had anything like that when I attended school, and so the chance to dress up and enjoy the festivities had its appeal. Aurora was the most excited about it, considering she had already asked if Professor Sinistra would accompany her to the ball and the Astronomy teacher gave an enthused yes, but just as friendly colleagues. This didn't seem to bother Aurora at all and instead took this as an opportunity to try her best and make her move on Sinistra.

I leaned back in my chair, putting my feet on the desk while crossing them, stretching a bit. "Maybe you two will end up alone, secluded from the rest, and find some mistletoe hanging about." I winked at her as she giggled, waving me off with a blushing hue flowing to her cheeks while she scrunched her face.

"We're supposed to present ourselves a little bit more restrained, Maeve!" She looked at me with her not-so-convincing stern face, pointing at me and raising her brows. "Besides… We can sneak off to a deserted classroom, and I might just bring some mistletoe with me." She and I laughed at her playful words.

"At least it should be a marvelous event," I commented while grabbing a grape off the silver plate full of assorted fruits. "It seems like everyone is in a rush to find someone to go to the dance with, too," I added absent-mindedly.

"Have you spoken to Elowyn?" She asked while munching on her sliced apple pieces, avoiding eye contact with me as she did so.

I looked at her crestfallen, hoping the look on my face would've answered the question, so I didn't have to directly, but since she didn't look up, I responded. "No," I sighed while throwing down a grape with defeat. "She still thinks I'm hiding something from her."

Elowyn became distant from me after the whole article situation came about. She was completely convinced that I was keeping something from her involving me and Severus. While she wasn't entirely off base; there was plenty I hadn't explained to her, nor did I feel like I had to. I believed that it would only encourage her ideals about the two of us. She didn't outright ignore me, especially during class, and kept a very professional attitude about herself whenever she spoke to me, but the extra visits or cold shoulder presented in the hallways had become the norm for the moment.

Her distance created this guilt that I wasn't sure how to handle. Telling her anything seemed like it would make matters worse, and not doing anything at all to see when or if she'd simmer down also aggravated me. I hated the idea of being at a standstill that I wasn't sure how to approach or mend.

"Just give her time, Maeve," Aurora reassured with a sympathetic look. "I'm sure she'll come around. She'll have to learn that sometimes prying into your life will not allow you to open up, anyway."

"Yes," I nodded my head while chuckling. "Perhaps in time, I'll be able to explain that to her. Gods know she won't give up on anything even if it means saving her life." I flicked my eyes to the ceiling in exasperation at the thought of how deeply begrudging Elowyn could be.

"Anything new with her though?" I questioned. Normally I would take this free time to try to catch up on assignments, or even make my way to Severus' classroom to spend some time chatting with him. Usually, I did most of the talking, and he did most of his replying with sarcasm or sass. It was quite entertaining and an enjoyable way of filling up the time. However, this free period was a well-needed time between me and my assistant. Girl time was a priority and shouldn't be forgotten.

"Well," Aurora sat forward after finishing chewing her apple slice, "She is focusing more of her radical ideas on a project with Granger, but she's being secretive about it, surprise, surprise." She gave me an ironic look to me. "She thinks Professor Snape is catching on to me helping her with a few assignments, so she's pridefully chosen to go at it alone."

"Ahh, Severus did interrogate me with that. Said something about how the last two assignments were 'far too complicated for a mere fourth year to achieve by herself' or whatever." I laughed at the memory of the suspicious potions master eyeing my rather entertained expression, which otherwise led him to be unconvinced by my protests. "I didn't say anything but assured him she knew what she was doing and just… said she was as gifted as he was when at that age." I shrugged while Aurora snorted.

"C'mon, now, Maeve! Don't play with him like that; Elowyn shouldn't be doing that at all… Granted it didn't help when I was eager to assist. It's just like how it was when she was younger, and I'm sucker for her big, brown eyes!" Aurora groaned while pouting.

"I know, I know, and if she's being adamant about doing so by herself, then maybe that'll help Severus ease his suspicions if she happens to mess something up… Well, hopefully does. Otherwise, he might say something." I grimaced at the thought of Severus catching Elowyn's sneaky behavior and assigning her detentions that would span over the rest of her school year, while also confronting me about playing off his correct intuitive feeling. The latter of the conclusions made me more nervous than I cared to admit.

Aurora chuckled at the end, taking another bite and munching before speaking again, this time with more enthusiasm. "She did tell me that she and Hermione had found dates for the ball!"

I leaned forward lightly at the excitingly shocking news. "Already? That's fantastic news!" I put a hand over my chest, taking in the idea that the once little girl was slowly becoming more and more grown up. It wasn't long ago when the thought of involving herself with anyone disgusted her with the social aspect, yet now she had come out of her shell so much that not only did she have a stable friendship, but a date to attend a formal gathering with. "Who're they going with?"

"Well, Hermione Granger is going with none other than Victor Krum, but it's a secret!" She said, her eyes wide with a glimmer of fascination. I nodded, impressed at how Hermione had managed to swing that one. "Hold on," I started while giving my friend an inquisitive look. "I thought at least Hermione and Ronald Weasley would go, or have I misread those signs?"

"Well," Aurora repositioned herself and readied for her explanation. "I thought so too, and so did Elowyn, but it seems he never asked her. Elowyn said that he tried asking her during class one day, but it was like he was doing it as a last resort which I thought was…" Aurora made a face of disapproval. "Then he made some comment to Granger which didn't sit right with her, told him she's got a date and stormed off. That was after George Weasley asked Elowyn, mind you."

My jaw dropped slightly, looking at Aurora who shared the same surprised look on her face. "I guess those two have gotten closer and closer by the week, haven't they…" I pondered out loud while looking away, a sudden protective urge swooped over me. I didn't have anything against the twins, other than that could be a major distraction to the classroom, but they were fairly decent despite that. That didn't ease my mind in the least, however. "... Better have a word with Mr. Weasley to make sure he treats her accordingly."

"Now, Maeve," Aurora's tone seemed like she was pleading with me, tittering while shaking her head. "Elowyn's a smart girl, and they seem to enjoy being around each other. I'm all for setting that boundary, and expectation, but don't go overboard. Elowyn's already put you in the doghouse."

I knew she was right about that. I didn't want to take the chance of putting the wedge further between us, but I also didn't want one of the most mischievous Gryffindors to pull a fast one over her. I thought it would best to at least remind him that Elowyn had those around her to protect her, maybe even bring up the fact that she could handle herself should the time ever come.

"I suppose we should be looking into getting her a dress then," I commented while wondering if maybe that would butter her up from her distancing attitude. "No doubt a purple color, then?"

Aurora nodded excitedly. "She's already picked out her specific shades, and I've started on the dress itself. Oh! It's going to be so fun dressing up, and dressing her up, and seeing her out there dancing!" Aurora was giddy at the prospect of this. I couldn't help but feel the same excitement.

"Now, if only Harry could pluck up the courage and find himself a date, maybe Ron would be able to do the same," I added.

"Harry hasn't found a date, either? These boys…" Aurora shook her head, a sympathetic look on her face.

"I gave him advice on how to do it, and he said he'd try it here soon, but until then I guess he's just… building up his courage." I shrugged a shoulder.

"Aren't they supposed to be in the house that's all about bravery?" Aurora questioned. "Guess in the face of asking a girl to a dance, no amount of bravery can still those nerves."

I laughed at her words, grabbing my goblet and taking a swig of pumpkin juice. "No matter, I'm sure it'll work out for him."

Aurora was silent for a moment before perking up, exclaiming as with some brilliant idea, and looked back to me. "I think the Patil sisters haven't found a date yet! They're lovely girls, maybe I could set those four up!" She proclaimed giving a satisfying nod.

"That… actually, that might be a great idea." I agreed after a moment. "Perhaps you could push those two boys into being gentlemen and ask them. Gods know they need any help now." I scoffed.

"I'll have to find them as soon as possible, probably best to speak to them at dinner." She mused with a thoughtful expression before it melted into an impish delight in her and smiled. "Speaking of asking people," Aurora looked at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Has anyone from our illustrious staff asked you to the dance?" She held her gaze with me while taking a small bit into her last apple slice. I knew where this was headed.

"Gods, things have just calmed down, Aurora. No, Severus has not asked me to this dance, and in fact, no one else has… I'm guessing they're afraid that if that rumor is true then they'd have to deal with him personally." I scuffed and rolled my eyes at the amusing scene. "Besides… it's not like there's anyone on our staff I'd even consider going with."

"Well, he may be from another school, but Igor Karkaroff tends to eye you a lot, you know." Aurora's light tone told me she was teasing me. I was well aware of the Durmstrang Headmaster's lingering eyes and was just as disgusted by them as I was by his appearance. I narrowed my eyes at her as she burst out laughing, seeming delighted in my annoyance.

"I'll burn my hair off before being associated with him," I grumbled.

"Well, maybe… maybe you could ask Severus to go with you. He's supposed to be there anyway, so just ask him to go as friends since that's all you are. To Hell with traditional customs!" Aurora's playful demeanor didn't cease at this, but even with how she acted it didn't seem like she was kidding.

Regardless of how adamant I was explaining that Severus and I had no underlying feelings with each other, or that we weren't having some sort of secret love affair, Aurora seemed to like the idea of pestering me with my relationship with him. Aurora being the notorious matchmaker that she loved to proclaim herself as concluded that we were coming back together as star-crossed lovers. At times this was annoying, others I didn't let it stick to me because if I entertained it anymore, she wouldn't let up. Yet I would be lying if I didn't say I hadn't recognized the nostalgic feelings that resurfaced, the rapid speed of my heart in my chest that would race at the thought of that one kiss from long about, and that my body responded more daringly at anything more blossoming between me and my old friend.

When any of that occurred, I had to remind myself that things were far different than what they used to be and that anything like that would probably leave me more damaged if I took the chance with him. Pessimism was the only thing I felt about the subject if I lingered on it.

I bit my lip before removing my feet from my desk and sitting up. "What makes you think he'd agree to anything like that? I genuinely doubt he'd want to be there if it wasn't mandatory for staff."

Aurora blew a short raspberry at my question before responding. "Oh, come on, Maeve. If there's anyone who has a better shot at convincing him then they must be hidden away in far-off land." She folded her arms and gave me an exact look.

I pondered her words for a moment, blinking and shaking my head. It was a risky move to even consider asking him about this at all. Things could switch up in that moment and ruin all of the progress and bonding we'd accomplished. Even when Severus was in his usual surly moods, we still had moments where I could get him to smirk, and chuckle. Nothing like getting him to smile like I used to, but that was enough for me to cherish the time we were able to spend together. Could our new bond be strong enough to ask this question? Could we have fun together in such a public setting?

"Whatever… I'll think about it." I finally answered.

"You're thinking of how to bring it up, I know that look." She countered while getting up to her feet. "We've got our last class of the day, and it's intermediates." Her words brought me out of my heavy thoughts, realizing I needed to get back into my professor persona. Nodding and with a small sigh I got to my feet.

"Good, I'll be able to talk to George Weasley and get that over with."

)))(((

My chat with George Weasley went well enough, although I was worried, I may have made my point a little too clearly. The usually laid-back twin had stammered out an understanding, and fully understood how it was unnecessary to tell Elowyn about this little chat that I had with him. I couldn't help but smirk at the memory as I headed into the Great Hall for dinner.

Aurora had planned to arrive a little late after agreeing to help a couple of students get a better handle on a few charms we had been practicing. It seemed that the extra homework I assigned had stressed out Lavander Brown and Parvati Patil to the point of tears, and she really was a sucker for the pleading eyes and words of the students who looked up to her.

I was starving more than normal which only quickened my steps toward the staff table. I passed Elowyn sitting at the Gryffindor table, turned toward Hermione, and chatted away happily. Her eyes flicked to my direction and her expression faltered before giving me a lazy attempt at a wave. I paused in front of the two, giving a small grin to them as I spoke. "Good evening, ladies. How was our day today?" I had turned to face more toward Elowyn when I asked this question, but it was meant to remain open to Hermione in order to maybe coax out some words from Elowyn. Granted, it may have been a sneaky tactic, but I missed speaking to her to not at least try something.

"It went fairly well, Professor," Hermione replied while beaming genuinely before looking back to Elowyn who kept looking at her food and remained silent. Suddenly the Slytherin girl jolted forward a bit, giving an accusatory look to Hermione who motioned with her head toward me. I wasn't the only one who thought it was about time to let this whole ordeal go. Sighing Elowyn looked up at me and composed herself to give a lighter attitude in expression, but traces of annoyance were still present in how tight her small smile was. "Swimmingly, as per usual."

I tried to swallow the hurt I felt and force the present smile to stay as much as possible. "I heard you two have found dates for the ball, that should be exciting! Aurora told me she's preparing your dress; purple will always look stunning on you, my Star." I could see the moment when her eyes softened a bit, nodding while looking down for a moment then back up at me. "Hermione is going with periwinkle, so we kind of planned our color schemes to complement each other."

My smile widened at her words from both how close their friendship was becoming and how Elowyn was finally opening up to me, finally. It may have been a small gesture but coming from Elowyn it was a bigger step to mending our relationship.

Elowyn perked up a bit as if she remembered something. "Did Aurora tell you who we were going with?"

I nodded once with my smile intact. "Yes, she did… I believe Mr. Weasley asked you, didn't he? Well, George Weasley, that is." I corrected myself. Considering several Weasley siblings were running about, it almost felt necessary to be specific.

Elowyn nodded bashfully as her pale cheeks started to blotch from the blood rushing to her face. Hermione giggled a bit before speaking. "It's been quite a stirring incident between the houses, namely Slytherin, of course."

"And how have they all reacted to your date, Miss Granger?" I prompted and watched as Hermione pulled back a bit, shrugging while looking down a bit with a bit of bashfulness herself.

"Well, it's more of a surprise. I don't want all the attention on me from his ghastly fan club..." She admitted and looked back up to me. I nodded in understanding. I remembered what it was like to have Sirius' fan club having a lot to say when we ended up together; I'm sure it wasn't easy for the fourth year when it came to an international star like Victor Krum.

"Oh! There they are!" Elowyn stretched and leaned to wave behind us. Looking behind me I caught sight of the two Weasley twins making their way over to the part of the table we were at. I was able to tell which one was George by the flash of wide eyes he gave me before doing his best to conceal his sudden flair of apprehension. I gave a subtly sly smile to them before looking back at the girls.

"Enjoy the rest of your dinner, girls. Don't forget about Friday's exam, either." I reminded them as they nodded and wished me off as I turned away from them. A few seats down Ron Weasley and Harry Potter sat looking utterly miserable, and while it was normal for me to speak to Elowyn openly, I had to be careful not to do so with Harry. Regretfully I nodded to them with a sympathetic look and was met with a half-hearted wave and nod and defeated looks.

I made my way up the two levels of steps for the staffing table, greeted the rest of my colleagues while walking down the row, and took my usual seat next to the brooding Potions Master and spoke.

"Good evening, Severus! Did you have an exciting day of potion-making, as always?" I teased while hungrily eyeing the food that materialized in front of me. I thanked the Gods that it was pot roast since it was my favorite meal to have, especially on a rather cold night. The savory smell of the tender roast, and the seasoned rosemary potatoes with soft carrots and chopped onions made my mouth water.

"As exciting as watching a Hippogriff clean its feathers." His usual sardonic intonation told me that this was just a normal day for him. "In other news, I was informed that the Head of Houses are to teach the students the Yule Ball waltz." He added in a grumbled voice.

The thought of Severus having to teach his students how to waltz was quite comical. Imagining him with a very infuriated expression, death stares at the other students as a clumsy Slytherin tries to figure out the moves caused me to chuckle after swallowing, taking my napkin to wipe my mouth before responding. "And you agreed without a fight? No, you must have a plan to get out of that." I inquired while glancing at him before taking another wonderful bite.

"I've instructed the Prefects that it'll be their duty to teach the students," He clarified as his voice rose in irritation, clearly not caring for my reaction. "Rather than having to make a fool of myself in front of my entire house."

"I doubt you'd make a fool of yourself, and besides you'll have plenty of time to practice for the ball." I offered while taking another bite, and missing the scrutinizing look on his face as he proceeded to eat his food. The atmosphere in the hall was livelier than normal with the excitement of the Yule Ball approaching. It would probably continue like this until the actual dance happened, allowing all the energy the students had to die out. It was interesting to see who paired up, though normally I wouldn't take such an interest in the student's lives, but it was just surprising to see who fancied who. I spotted Elowyn sitting in between Hermione and George laughing and talking with one another amongst the other Gryffindors.

I noticed that Aurora had been hunkered down next to Harry and Ron speaking rather quickly between them, the two looked at each other and nodded before looking back to Aurora who smiled and did the same.

'Aurora truly does like to play matchmaker… maybe her plan will work.' I thought to myself only to realize that Severus's voice was speaking toward me. I blinked and quickly looked at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

His shoulders slacked with exasperation accompanied by a scowl on his face showed his annoyance. "How dare I steal you away from your idle thinking. I was merely inquiring if Karkaroff had finally asked you to that dreaded ball everyone is so excited about." He begrudgingly repeated himself.

I couldn't contain the humorless laughter at such a surprising question. My eyebrows furrowed, and my mouth slightly opened showing my incredulous feeling. "Why are you the second person to associate the idea of me going with that dreaded man to the ball? Is he telling everyone he's going with me, or something?"

He snapped his vision to me, his stare catching my gaze and holding it there. "Second… person?"

"Well, yes," Puzzled by the reaction Severus gave me I continued. "Aurora said something about how he must've taken an interest in me and joked about him asking me to the dance. I'd only agree if I were losing my head." I scoffed while taking a drink from my goblet, looking down at the long table to catch a glimpse of the bizarre Russian man eyeing me before quickly turning back to his food.

I hoped he didn't fancy me on the mere fact of my Russian heritage, which would be strange in itself and frighteningly reminiscent of the ideals of pureblood supremacy that ran rampant within the magical communities nowadays. The thought of being stalked by that man made me scrunch my face in disgust before looking back at Severus who still held his gaze at me, his eyes seemed to be scanning my face for something that I couldn't understand.

"Gods be with him if he's following me; hate to have Durmstrang hire a new Headmaster in the middle of their school year." I looked back for a moment to Karkaroff and noticed him look again at me, surprise flashed across his eyes before giving an awkward sort of smile and turning away. The look of his rotten teeth caused me to shiver with repulsion and returned to staring at Severus.

"Yes…" Severus agreed while staring heatedly at Karkaroff's head, squinting his eyes while the ghost of a smile crept on his lips. "If he becomes a problem for you tell me; perhaps it would be better for their students, otherwise." I laughed at his words while raising an eyebrow to him, putting my elbow on the table, and resting my cheek on my fist. The protective side of Severus had made his entrance into our friendship in that moment, and while I believed I had the full ability to handle myself and anyone who challenged me it still felt pleasant to know that he cared enough to grant me his watchful eye. There was a warm feeling within my chest as I gazed at him and took in his appearance once more.

I found myself doing this in moments where there was peaceful silence, and when I could sneak-a-peak at him. I could still see the remanence of his youth even when he was concentrating on grading potions and papers, the strong jawline of his that would tighten when he was disappointed at wrong answers on papers or brewed and passed on for his final judgment. The way his inky colored hair would curl to frame his face, a random curl or two around the end of his hair that added a touch of gentleness that was unlike him. To others at least, but to me it was like a small inclination to the softness I remembered in our youth that must still be present somewhere.

His pale skin always made him look ill, but to me, I was always reminded of snow when we were younger. There was much more color in his skin nowadays which told me he was getting the proper nutrition he needed. He still had dark circles under his eyes but were nothing like they used to be. His lips were a soft pink that stood out against the otherwise light skin. I always thought his nose complemented his face; it was almost aquiline in its features. When I could get a chance to stare at his coal-black eyes I was reminded of the way they glittered in the moonlight that night. Obsidian jewels that flickered with happiness that I had yet to see again.

Right now, he had looked back to his food with a look of hesitation creeping out before concealing his appearance once more before he spoke. "Then… you haven't been asked?"

I gave him a jesting expression while my lips curled into a kittenish grin. I wasn't positive but it almost seemed like there was a hint of eagerness in his interesting question. Why on Earth would he care so much about who I'd end up going to the Yule Ball with? Perhaps he was curious to know who I picked, or at least allowed to be seen with me, and on the other hand I couldn't stop myself from wondering if he was snooping around to see if I was going with anyone at all. I couldn't decide which was the more intriguing aspect of this question, so I tilted my head to the side and decided to carefully watch how he reacted to pinpoint what just went on in that mind of his.

"Curious, are we?" I teased and watched him avoid my calculating stare while he concentrated on his food, his hair hiding his facial expression making it nearly undetectable. "No, I haven't been asked or asked anyone. I wasn't really sure what to do about that part, and just assumed I'd head there by myself." I shrugged lightly and threw up my hand. "I suppose either that or be kidnapped by Karkaroff." I added while lightly laughing.

Severus breathed heavily through his nose in response reminiscent of a chuckle, shaking his head slightly the hair around his face waved. It was a rather odd question coming from him nonetheless, but perhaps it was only curiosity seeing as there weren't many people here, I'd considered going with. The only one that I considered to go with, Aurora had brought up, and his disapproval of it seemed apparent from the way he spoke about it. Yet, I couldn't help but keep the conversation going

"What about you? Any fair maidens being whisked away to the ball?" A small sly smile played on my lips as I looked down at my plate. I started mentally ticking off any potential staff members Severus would be seen with at the dance. Hardly any of them seemed like they'd be the type that he would show up with, but his showing up at all was surprising at it was. Even if it was mandatory I figured he would try his best to find a way out of the event, stating he had far too many assignments to grade or faking some sort of illness.

"My priority is to chaperone and make sure none of the students end up having too good of a time," He stated as if it were the most commonsensical reasoning. "So… I haven't pursued anyone. None worth pursuing." He muttered the last part of his sentence

A vexing type of feeling stirred within my chest at the last part, causing me to pause at his words which created a frown on my face. Maybe I overestimated his unusual curiosity and misread it as a mere interest in my personal life, but was it really so out of the realm to at least ponder his intentions? I figured if he was going to ask me then the reason would be to make the night less miserable for him, maybe in a selfish manner. His words registered a bit harsher than I cared for, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. I needed to at least bring it up directly to him instead of assuming, and if it went badly then I'd play it off, but if it didn't…

"Well, would it be worth pursuing me?" I asked after a moment of silence. The words just came out with no preparation, a slight thrill of catching him off guard made my head fuzzy. I lifted my gaze to him to speak to him directly. I didn't realize that it would be such a shock that he would choke into his goblet, coughing a bit while grabbing his napkin and doing his best to muffle the rest of his coughing. Professor Sinistra, who sat on the other side of Severus, had snapped her gaze over at him in his coughing fit that he waved her off impatiently. I put a hand over my mouth to subdue the grin that uncontrollably appeared on my face at such a disturbance in his reaction. After he regained his composure, he looked at me with fire in his eyes.

"Are you trying to be funny!?" He hissed in a low tone, turning his body away from Sinistra's potentially prying ears. I realized my mistake in the way his eyes seared into my own, the dark color reminding me of coals that were ready to ignite at a moment's notice, and quickly dropped my amused expression, shaking my head at him while sitting up a bit more, turning my body more in my seat.

"No, no, of course not!" I held up a hand in a way to reassure him this wasn't some prank. "I'm being serious. Would I, someone worthy of your friendship, be worthy to be seen with you out at the grand Yule Ball?" My tone was light and had an air of innocence to it as I shrugged, looking down when I spoke, I looked up when I was done. "I figured since we were friends… why not go… together?" I suggested, looking up at him and biting my cheek as a flare of nerves hit me at once. The last thing I needed was for him to get upset and think this was some way I was mercilessly pranking him. I didn't need that misunderstood between us at all; surely he knew that I wasn't cruel like that.

He looked at me stunned at what I just said, mouth parted in awe and eyes flickering over my face, searching rapidly to see if there were any traces of insincerity. I tilted my head to the side a bit while remaining quiet as he processed my appearance. He turned to look back down to his food for a moment before looking back at me, the look in his eyes went from suspicious to softening after finding no condemning evidence. He opened his mouth for a moment before closing, I caught sight of his fist squeezing in his lap before he once again prepared to speak.

"Maeve, Severus!" Aurora exclaimed while rushing up to the two of us. She seemed a little out of breath and her hair was lightly roughed presumably from her quick advances to get to her seat. "Let's see what we have for dinner tonight, oh! One of the best meals to have during this frigid weather!"

I doubted Severus considered Aurora to be a close acquaintance, let alone a friend, but that didn't stop her from being friendly to him in her attempt to get him to warm up to her. Since I had explained everything to her, she considered his lore and decided to try a friendlier approach to get him to let her into the Slytherin common room. So far, it wasn't working, but Aurora wasn't going to let up until she got the chance to try and see those merepeople up close and personal. Unfortunately, in this instance, her endeavors had interrupted a very important part of my and Severus's conversation.

As she spoke, she came to sit on the other side of me, plopping down and scooting forward. "So, what are you two talking about?" She pulled her hair over her shoulder while propping up her elbow to rest her chin on her hand, a small and harmless smile on her lips as she looked between us.

She couldn't have come at a worse time as Severus completely ignored her and me and went back to concentrating on staring at his food, grumbling something under his breath even I couldn't catch before continuing to eat. I sighed while realizing the moment was gone for us, and I was left probably just looking like an idiot to him and decided to speak with Aurora.

"Just catching up through the day is all," I told her while also going back to my food.

The rest of the evening carried on like it normally did listening to Aurora ramble about anything she could think of. Severus didn't once speak up during that time and instead focused his whole attention on his food before departing rather early. It only made me believe that I must've misspoke to him.

)))(((

I re-read the newest letter from Sirius. Apparently, he had a lot to say about what he read in the Daily Prophet but didn't explain what he meant or go into any detail about what exactly he was talking about. I could only guess that he was referring to the old article Rita Skeeter wrote, but since our replies were rather slow it didn't surprise me that would still be fresh on his mind. I just didn't have the patience to explain, for the millionth time, that Rita's article was flobberworm shit and didn't deserve another thought. Before throwing the letter down I decided to write to him in the morning and debated if I could find some way to send him something to show my vexed feelings about the situation. An enchanted middle finger appearing through the paper had its appeal.

I couldn't deny that the same feelings I had for Severus were rising the more we spent time with each other, but I didn't want to say what they were or delve too deeply into it. My sixteen-year-old self would've simply tried to hide that away, denying anything that came up that didn't sound like just platonic affection or couldn't be justified in a way that made it sound platonic. I was thirty-four now, and couldn't lie to myself anymore, but the problem now was the issue of wondering if that was reciprocated. I sighed while adjusting the sides of my robe tighter around my body before adjusting the string to secure it in place, grabbing the hairbrush to start detangling my fairly damp hair.

After that night with Severus, I knew something had been there, but that didn't mean that it would've lingered the same way mine did. I slowly ran the brush through the ends of my hair as I remembered the broken boy who stood before me after I hurt him. He could try to hide it in his face afterward, turning away, but there was no denying the way his voice broke when he walked away. How his face looked like he just committed the worst of sins when I pulled away from him, or how he acted like he was begging me to choose him at that moment. I didn't realize I had stopped brushing, being completely lost in the details of what I recalled. I blinked away the self-reproach and indignity that coursed its way through my chest and shoulders down to my stomach and knees. I bit my lower lip to stop the sudden self-pity tears that prickled their way into my eyes. I did my best to shake off this feeling and just concentrate on brushing the long dark strands.

'I wouldn't blame him if he couldn't feel anything more for me after that.' I thought with my shoulders slacking, putting the hairbrush down, and turning around to face the pair of pajamas I laid out for myself.

I needed time to unwind from the embarrassing event at dinner and decided that a hot bath, and even a hot shower, was exactly what I needed. The more time I spent distracting myself on something like self-care the less time I'd end up dwelling on the matter involving Severus.

Too bad I couldn't take endless scalding showers or baths to keep my mind quiet.

The fireplace raged on allowing for a delightful heat to envelope the entire room, making it not so unbearable to be standing with just my bathrobe. I lit a few more candles to provide a bit more warmth in the lighting. I started to grab the pair of loose-fitting, black pajama pants before a knock came at my door. I snapped my sights to the bedroom door wondering who could possibly be at my personal chambers at this time of night.

I'd assume if it were an emergency then Aurora or Elowyn would've knocked in a much more boisterous fashion to catch my attention rather than the simple, calm knocking I just heard. Maybe Aurora wanted her silver hooped earrings back though I don't know why at this hour it was important, or perhaps realized she made a fumbling mistake in her grading scale. Regardless, I blinked before using my covers to hide my outfit, since my underwear was present, I didn't like the idea of someone knowing a very personal item of clothing I'd be wearing.

Advancing toward the door, I walked out into the living space and went to face the entrance. Making sure that the robe was properly covering me, I gathered all of my freshly brushed, damp hair to rest over my shoulder and unlocked the door, then opened it. It wasn't Aurora, but it definitely wasn't who I assumed would make a trip to my room at this hour. Severus Snape stood there with his hands behind his back, looking down at me from his nose with great composure. His eyes looked hauntingly void with how dark they were, it seemed like they were unfocused at that moment. If it wasn't for the small flash of his eyes after I opened the door, I would've missed the edgy look in his eyes that was there before.

"Severus," I stated with no attempt to hide my surprise while staring at him, the abrupt cold from the hall caused me to pull the collar of my robe up slightly. "Is everything alright?" I asked with a peculiar expression.

"I don't mean to disturb you at this hour, but I was hoping to have a word with you." His tone was permissive, but he did speak a little quicker than normal. Maybe he didn't want to linger on whatever it was since it was so important it couldn't wait till the morning. The tense air around him couldn't hide behind the composed demeanor he fronted. I watched as his eyes flicked just under my face and then back to my eyes. The only thing he could've possibly seen was the vibrant red collar of my robe I was clinging to for warmth.

I blinked at him a couple of times while looking behind to see it was just him outside, then looking back to him I nodded softly, still eyeing him with curiosity. "Of course, come in. I can make us some tea if you'd like." I stepped aside to open my door wider for him to come in. As he entered through the threshold with graceful, fluid movement and kept his hands tightly behind himself he took a moment to look about the room, trailing on the portraits of prominent women in history, both muggle and magical. I closed the door behind me lightly and watched with wariness and anticipation.

"Very hospitable for you, but otherwise unnecessary." He spoke with a polished turn back to me. I watched as his throat moved with a swallow, staring straight at me with unbreakable concentration. It was a bit unnerving to have him look at me as if he could peer right through me, or perhaps he wasn't looking completely through me, but through what I wore. I couldn't help but feel as if my robe wasn't covering me at all at that moment, and his eyes were able to slide the robe off of me with the way his eyes traveled down and up my figure.

The perverse thought caused a shiver to run from the nape of my neck down to the small of my back I had to stifle, a growing desire in my stomach caused me to hold my breath before I mentally scolded myself.

'That was completely unnecessary! For Merlin's sake, woman don't overthink it; you're standing in a robe so of course it'll warrant a strange look.' The harsh reasoning had echoed in my mind but did little to ease the stiffened posture I had developed while looking at him. I did my best to relax and allowed the breath caught in my throat to exhale as calmly as possible, but it brought only mild relief. The clearing of his throat had pulled me out of my lingering thoughts as the call to attention caused me to go into hyper-focus on his eyes. "I was hoping… to continue our discussion from dinner, actually." He drew out the words as he spoke.

Focusing solely on his appearance and found myself interested in the shifty behavior he was trying to conceal. His eyes flickered from side to side to try and look anywhere other than me while his jaw blenched a couple of times. If I didn't know any better, I would've guessed there was some further irritation regarding our little talk at dinner, but to me, this was a clear sign of him steeling his nerves. Whatever was ruminating in that mind of his was untelling at the moment. As curious as I was, I couldn't deny that I was also now nervous to hear about it.

I looked at him for a moment, blinking once again while nodding, instinctively going to play with a strand of hair for comfort. "Oh, erm, sure… what about that?" That was all I could think of to say.

His eyes completely averted my gaze by looking at the floor, pausing for a beat before he spoke to me yet still avoiding my eyes. "I've… given some thought about what you've suggested, and…" Another pause, his lips pulled tightly in a thin line for a moment before clearing his throat. "I'd have to decline your invitation to go."

I raised an eyebrow at such an answer. A flare of irritation lifted slowly in my chest where the disappointment and hurtful hues of emotions had already bloomed. Of all the things to have bothered me at such a late hour, it was just for him to reject me. Did he want to see the look on my face when he did so, is that why he came all this way? I narrowed my eyes at the thought of him enjoying my embarrassment, a sneer twitching to break through.

"You came all this way just to tell me 'no'?" I could hear the sharper Russian pronunciation in my voice, the once curious and even soft tone erasing into a vice-like bite.

'He should've just left it alone if that were the case.' I thought with some bitterness as I tried to push away the embarrassment that I felt. Standing in front of him in a much too casual attire with this answer was much too vulnerable of a position I found myself in.

"No!" He quickly caught on to my sour mood, holding up a hand as his eyes quirked up with alertness. "Well, yes, but if you let me finish then I can explain." His sharp tone seemed to fade as his demeanor shifted once more, this time relaxing before taking a few steps forward to close the distance between us. My mood hadn't subsided, but I allowed a suspicious gaze to hold his. He straightened himself up as his eyes averted my own again, placing his hands in front of him to hold them, regaining his composure and looking at me directly once more. His eyes were unwavering in their demand for attention, they were softer than I was accustomed to. For a moment I saw the younger Severus that I had known in those onyx eyes that glittered in the candlelight. My once antagonized mood shifted when I noticed this change.

"It's more traditional if I were to ask you, and so…" He spoke softer this time, not relaxed but otherwise as compressed as he could be with slight nervousness that crept back into his expression but didn't once cause him to break our connection.

It all made sense straight away; Severus wanted to uphold the idea of tradition rather than let me take the lead. Granted I didn't see the big issue with me asking him, yet since he wanted to do this in a way that not only was acceptable to him but perhaps upheld the type of chivalry that I had seen in him, made the irksome feelings I once held dissolve. It was rather flattering for him to choose this route, and I had to admit I liked it better than just putting him on the spot.

I would've bet that in doing so only permitted him to ask me. I could feel the fluttering in my stomach waving once again that I tried to ease. I turned my head to the side allowing a smirk to form across my lips and focused on his face. I could read it in his eyes that held suspense for me to say something, to act. I could see the hopefulness in them, and those eyes flicked between my own. I took a step closer to take up more space between us as I studied his face for all the underlying emotions.

"So…?" I pushed, speaking softly, while folding my arms and waiting with bated breath to hear his words.

"...Will you accompany me to the Yule Ball, Selini Thorne?" The silky words that were drawn out, the low tone that was just clear enough for me to hear reaching my ears had painted a rather special and intimate inquiry. His brow quirked before opening his mouth once more to speak "As friends, like you said." He clarified, though his tone hadn't changed. It didn't have to, nor did I mind since I could read between the lines in studying his face, his voice, his posture. We would be there just as friends, but we would be there together. No attachments to others around us, the understanding of others making whatever assumptions they wanted, but at least we had each other to encircle our attention toward.

I wouldn't have ever guessed he'd been so determined by the traditional route that Severus had plucked up the courage to ask me. I had to admit I was impressed that he took the time to do something like that considering I thought he wouldn't be the type to ask at all, let alone do it in the "proper" way as he saw it.

"I will," I answered softly, my smile widening as the words slipped. I could feel the tension ease from him, muscles relaxing in his broad shoulders and his breath deflating his chest releasing the tension. His brows relaxed at my words and his eyes lit up with a small smile. He looked as if he succeeded in something worth being proud of. He still held this composed air about him that refused to show more of a reaction than what the micro-movements of his face and eyes did. He was still so secretive, and mysterious, no matter the circumstances.

He tilted his chin up, looking down at me from his nose suggesting a more serious tone. "You're well aware this could only contribute to those rumors about us, aren't you?" He the slow draw of his words and the velvety tone of his words convinced me he was amused, nonetheless.

I shook my head lightly "I don't care," I flicked my eyes upward before looking back to him, my smile softening in contentment. "When have I ever cared, Severus?"

What little bit of a smile that was once on his lips dulled at my words. I saw something devoid flash within his eyes, but I couldn't pinpoint what for other than my words. I could even see the relaxed nature of his posture fade back to a stiffened posture. He nodded once before looking to the door and then back to me. "Then… I leave you to your duties now." He replied.

"One more thing before you go," I said just as he took a step to leave, standing now at my shoulder and looking down at me fully. "You better let me have at least one dance; after all, I've never been to an actual ball before. I'd hate to miss the opportunity." I put my hands on my hips to stand firm on my request. If he wanted a traditional approach, then I wanted a traditional dance.

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly that I could see him trying to control the eye roll. Sighing and nodding he complied. "Just one dance… I do have other duties to attend to, you know."

"Yes, making sure no one has too much of a good time." I teased while stepping aside. He lingered for a moment, a quirk in the corner of his mouth to flash a small smile that wanted to show before walking toward the door and grabbing the handle to quickly leave the room. He left without saying another word, and while others may have found this to be abrupt, I knew better. It clearly took a lot for him to say anything at all, let alone take the initiative to bring up what could've been an awkward conversation. Yet he went for it, and of course, under the promise of nothing more than friendship, he still battled himself to at least go out of his comfort zone.

Aurora's words rang through my head, remembering her little quip about how if anyone could ask Severus it would've been me. The feeling of satisfaction washed over me, causing a little giggle to echo out into the room. This should've proved I was worth pursuing.

I smiled to myself once again as I ventured back into my bedroom, and while sitting down on my bed.

'I think I'm getting my old friend back…' I thought to myself putting a hand over my chest, replaying the scene within my mind once again. The way he was nervous and tried so hard to hide it, how he immediately spotted my offended mood and rushed to correct it, and of course the way his eyes had lingered on my figure. All of it caused me to lie down on my bed, completely disregarding the cover and clothing that were laid out. I put a hand over my stomach as the fluttering of excitement returned at the thought of his prying, undressing eyes exposing me. It was something I should've stopped myself from playing with in my mind, but the desire to replay the way his eyes scanned me and felt exposed in the safety of my mind was uncontrollable.

'But… will we run into that same problem we had before?' The little ugly voice that resembled my own popped up. It was able to silence my thoughts instantly while the feeling in my stomach turned from satiating my silly little desires to waves of worry causing me to feel ill. I contemplated the thought repeatedly in my mind and sat up slowly, the feeling of my leg peeking between the folds of the robe and the words I thought sent unpleasant chills through my body.

Our lives were so different now, and I had to admit that this new side of Severus was something that I didn't know could exist. I didn't have the high and mighty attitude I once lived by, and nothing (or no one) was holding me back from letting something unfold. The way I let my leg remain exposed to the cooler temperature of the room was the way I'd let this come to a head. Whatever happened between us could come naturally, and maybe allow me to see if those feelings from long ago lingered the way they did for me. I let the thought of this new chapter live through my mind with ideas and scenarios that I would've normally pushed away. They were welcomed without me holding them back.

A/N: After The Great FFN Crash of 2024 I was worried that I wouldn't be able to post the rest of this story. Thankfully, it seems like we're back on track. Thank you to everyone who has stuff with this story so far, and normally I wouldn't ask this, but if you could leave a review to boost this story and get it circulating, I would greatly appreciate it. Hearing from you all let's me know how I'm doing as a write, inspires me and just let's me know there's people still interested in the plot.

The next chapter should feature the actual Yule Ball; I think in the last chapter I may have said it would be this one so I apologize if I did. I'm still working on editing the chapters I've posted just to paint a more clear picture. :)

Much thanks and love,

TJ