Chapter 75: I am me

The Bombardier that belonged to Kai was lying on the ground, wounded due to a rock striking it from behind. The Herba Mystica in its mouth had dropped beside it, and Annihilape approached the plant with silent curiosity.

As it reached for the plant, it sniffed it. Then, it opened its mouth, preparing to eat it.

But before the plant could even touch its tongue, the loud sound of a blade slashing in the air rang out, and the Annihilape widened its eyes in pain. It dropped the plant it was about to eat before falling to its knees, then on the ground.

Standing in front of the downed body of the Ghost/fighting type was none other than Geeta, wielding the weapon that her tera fusion with Kingabit had given her.

She turned her head to Bombirdier, who blinked before returning to consciousness.

"Are you alright?" Geeta asked Bombirdier.

Bombardier rose from the ground, squawked, picked up the Herba mystica and flew away. Geeta looked up at the flying type that flew away.

"Huh. Must not be the talkative type." Geeta said. She turned and marched on, trying to find Kai.

Kai, Nemona, Arven, Aeon and their Pokémon were all sitting together around a picnic basket that Arven himself prepared. Everyone was eating sandwiches. Grevard was taking a nap right on Kai's lap, and Kai, amazingly enough, didn't mind that the ghost type was so close to him.

It had been a few hours since Nemona and Kai had started training. Nemona and Arven were having a small conversation, talking with their respective Pokemon, including Kai's Charcadet, who was sipping on a baby bottle full of Pokémilk while sitting next to its trainer.

Aeon sat right next to Kai, who looked at his sleeping Grevard with a bit of sadness.

"Is there something wrong?" Aeon asked.

"...I'm thinking about what Nemona said." Kai said. "I'm thinking about…how my lack of confidence is affecting my team."

"I don't know about that. I think you're plenty confident," Aeon said.

Kai shook his head. "If that were true, my Pokémon would listen to me. I can't help thinking that it was my fault that Pawmo was hurt. If he had listened to me and had more respect for me…He wouldn't be in the hospital."

"That's not true," Aeon said, putting a hand on Kai's thigh with affectionate worry. "I think Pawmo did what he did because he respected you. He wanted all of us to be safe. Don't beat yourself up about this."

Kai frowned, and Aeon came close, hugging him from the side and kissing his cheek. "Look at me," Aeon said. Kai turned to him and looked him in the eye. "It's okay. You did your best. Forgive yourself." Aeon leaned his forehead against Kai's, and both boys closed their eyes as Aeon put his hands on his boyfriend's cheeks. Kai sighed and held one of his hands.

"Thank you so much," Kai said.

Aeon smiled and pulled away.

"Heh. You're usually the one ruminating, and I'm the one talking to you to calm down." Kai said. "Now it's reversed."

"Nothing wrong with that. I'm here to support you through life, and you're there for me. That's all we can do."

Both boys smiled at each other. Then, Kai went to look down at his Grevard again. The sensation of his fur was quite soft. He did think at first that when Greavard would attempt to touch him, the ghost dog Pokémon's body would go through him and then…try possessing his body… then…

Kai shuddered at the thought. It took him a while to realize that Greavard was just like any other dog Pokémon: A Pokémon that wanted love, and nothing else.

Kai sighed to himself as the thoughts of making his mistake came back to him with a vengeance, becoming much fiercer to him for daring to ignore it. All of those thoughts were like daggers, mercilessly aimed for his most vital body parts. All of which blamed him for the mistake that he made- the figurative daggers mercilessly dug into his body, threatening to etch itself into his very soul and scar him for the rest of his life.

He felt like he was going to relapse.

He thought he was going to turn back to the boy that he resented so much- the one that wasn't confident enough to make his own decisions.

Being confident- no. Being alive meant taking responsibility for one's actions and taking it in stride. If only it wasn't so exhausting. Being quiet to the point that he wouldn't take a single action out of fear was akin to not wanting to exist.

But it felt good.

it meant that he didn't have to do anything. If he didn't do anything, he had nothing to take responsibility for. He could drift through life without any pain, without any sadness.

But a life like that isn't one that can be lived with true happiness. And that made him angry. Why did it have to be like this? Why did he have to make a mistake? Why couldn't he just be perfect- just someone who is endlessly confident, someone who can just solve any problem that came his way without any difficulty? Why did life have to be so hard?

He was supposed to be a champion trainer one day, he was supposed to be someone that everyone could look at in awe. But in the end, he failed. Everything felt like it was for nothing.

Was he being overly dramatic? Maybe. But it felt real to him. His emotions felt real to him- his anguish and pain felt real.

As much as he hated it, Kai existed. And since he existed, he has wants, needs, and dreams.

The moment the word 'dream' came to Kai's mind, he lifted his hand from Greavard, and clenched it.

His dream.

Kai closed his eyes as he began to remember the day he started to get out of his own shell and truly stop suppressing himself.

The memory replayed in his mind like a flashback.

"Do you know what my Dream is?" His yellow-eyed self, his shadow, the representation of his thoughts spoke to him when he was lying in a hospital bed in recovery after earning his first gym badge."My dream... is for you to accept me. And when that happens, you'll stop seeing me as some... shadow, some...thing that you have to push away or block out of embarrassment. We'll truly be the same person- and be our own person. Not just some...shell. It's your dream, too. You know how I know? It's because I'm you. And you're me."

Kai opened his eyes, coming back to the present moment due to the pain he felt from clenching his empty fist for so long.

After the day he earned his first badge, Kai ignored the fact that he didn't have confidence in himself. He ignored the fact that he felt uncomfortable with himself to the point that he started pretending he was confident- all because he felt that there was something more important than how he felt about himself:

He had a dream. To be his own authentic self, and be truly, and completely confident.

Kai stood up. A shadow loomed over his eyes as he did so.

"Nemona?" Kai asked.

Nemona turned her head to Kai, and raised her eyebrows.

"Can we start fighting again?" Kai continued, "I want to see something."

"Uh, sure." Nemona said, standing up. She furrowed her brow as she saw Kai looking at her with intense determination. "What's going on? You okay?"

"I'm fine." Kai said. "Let's do this."

Kai stood face to face with Nemona- Nemona had her invoker armor on, and had already Tera fused with her Fuecoco, resulting in her having a flaming claymore in her hand.

Kai himself had Terafused with Quaxwell. He had a rapier in his hand.

"So, Kai…" Nemona asked, grinning widely with excitement. "Are you rea-"

"I want you to hit me as hard as you can." Kai said.

"Huh?" Nemona tilted her head.

"I. Want you. To hit me." Kai said. "As. Hard. As. You. Can."

"Uh…why? What's up? Something wrong?"

"Please."

"...Okay. Uh, Do you want me to switch Pokémon, then?"

Kai shook his head. "I want Quaxwell to be conscious so he can see what I'm about to do."

The afterimage of Quaxwell appeared beside Kai suddenly, looking up at his trainer with confusion in his eyes. Kai turned his head to his confused partner, gave a smile and a nod, and Quaxwell's afterimage disappeared.

"All right then," Nemona said. She pulled her claymore over her shoulder and turned away to take a few steps back. Once she was far enough away from Kai, she turned back to him, then stabbed her claymore into the ground.

Nemona took a deep breath. Blue electricity began to coarse around her entire body as she gritted her teeth and crossed her arms. Her eyes began to slowly turn red as her eyebrow color turned white.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…!" Nemona let out a furious roar as Shards of earth began to rise around the young girl as flames erupted around her weapon as it turned white. Nemona let out another sharp and furious roar as she uncrossed her arms- an eruption of flow energy rose to the air like a geyser mixed with flames.

Nemona's hair tie ripped apart as she yelled, and her hair became completely white. The bang she had continued to hang over her head. After that happened, the geyser and flames faded away.

Nemona exhaled to calm herself after she had finished transforming. She looked at the new 'weapon' in front of her, a red, flaming microphone stand that held a microphone that shone with yellow flames.

"I see…" Nemona said, grabbing onto the microphone stand. "This is Fuecoco's power…when he reacts to mine. This is incredible… I'm super excited…"

The calmness in Nemona's voice still brought shivers to Kai's body, but he remained calm as Nemona's eyes shifted over to him.

"You wanted us to hit you with everything we've got, huh? Then fine. Here we go…This is our…TORCH SOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!"

As Nemona cried out the name of the move she would use- an incredible blast of flame flew out of the microphone she shouted in- taking the shape of what looked like a Moltres. The size became insurmountably large, an all-encompassing flame that threatened not only burn him, but completely and utterly destroy him.

Kai looked on, thrust his Rapier, then shouted at the top of his lungs as a Hydro pump blasted from the tip of his blade- clashing with the flames and pushing them back. The struggle was like attempting to hold a charging Taruos by its horns- and Kai was feeling it. His feet dragged across the floor behind him as he gritted his teeth.

At that moment, Kai began to wonder to himself…what the heck had he just gotten himself into? What was he thinking, trying to take on Nemona's attack like this? Was he thoughtlessly trying to get Quaxwell to get hurt? How could he?

What would this prove? Why would he do this? How could he do this? He knew it- he was a bad trainer-

"Stop it."

Kai's eyes widened as he saw his other, yellow eyed self appear behind him once again. "You're overthinking things and ruminating."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to stop- everything I'm thinking is true-"

"Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't. You know what is true? You got your first gym badge. You beat two Team Star bosses. You dodged Nemona's attack even when she was at full power. You earned the respect of the people around you, and mine."

Kai's eyes widened.

"Go ahead and keep falling. Go ahead and keep thinking that you're this…or you're that. You have doubts, just like every human being in this world does. But don't doubt this: no matter what, I'm here with you."

As a tear flowed down Kai's face, his yellow-eyed self had a tear fall down his at the exact same time. After closing his eyes and nodding to himself, the yellow-eyed Kai disappeared, and Kai opened his eyes with fierce determination.

"I…!" Kai clenched his rapier as Nemona's attack came closer, threatening to consume him

For a split second, Kai's hair shone white.

"You-...May be stronger than me…!" Kai continued, "Faster than me...! And more experienced than me...! But no one…is better…at being me… THAN ME!"

Kai's entire body shone with incredible blue energy; he shone like a star.

"What's happening!?" Arven shouted, shielding himself with his arms as an intense wind blew from Kai's body.

Aeon grinned widely. "As cheesy as it sounds… I think he's beginning to believe."

The phoenix that attempted to attack Kai was extinguished in an instant as the glowing light emanating from Kai faded away.

Kai's hair was now glowing white, and his eyes were red. He still had a rapier in his hand, but he also had blue, water-type dancing shoes. Behind him were floating feathers- reminiscent of a Quaquaval's feathers.

."So cool..!" Nemona shouted. "You did it! You achieved the second form of Flow...!"

"There is no better version of me than the me that's here now..." Kai muttered to himself as went on his tip toes. He raised his arm and rapier as though he were a ballerina preparing to dance. "And the me that I'll become."

Kai raised one foot and lifted it behind him…Then darted toward Nemona.

Nemona's eyes widened as Kai came in, swinging his blade about like an expert dancer. Nemona used her weapon to defend against Kai as he twirled around, swinging his blade and legs like a top.

With every graceful movement he made, Kai's weapon grew more powerful, and Nemona could feel the heaviness of each swing increase with each oncoming attack.

After slashing hard enough to make Nemona stumble back, Kai lunged forward foot-first. Nemona used her microphone stand to block the attack, and Kai used her weapon as a platform to jump away with grace.

Kai made a pose as he aimed his rapier at Nemona- and the feathers that floated behind him aimed themselves at his enemy.

Hydro pumps flew out of each feather behind his back. Nemona flipped about, dodging each hyper beam that left behind an explosion in their wake. One hydro pump struck true, however, striking the young girl in the stomach and sending her onto the ground as smoke from an explosion lifted into the air.

After landing with a crouch, Kai let go of his rapier, and threw it into the air. It twirled as it began to shine- and reverted back into the Pokémon it once was-... or rather the Pokémon it had evolved into.

Quaquaval himself appeared in the place of the weapon it became and was twirling with elegance. Kai, who had lost his dancing shoes and the feathers that hung behind it, caught his Quaquaval by his hand, and twirled him like a dancer would with his partner.

"Wait- Did Kai just undo his Tera fusion..!?" Arven shouted.

As the both of them continued to do their dance, Nemona emerged from the crater that the hydro pump created. She planted microphone on the ground in front of her.

"Torch.. SOOOOOOONG!" Nemona shouted at the top of her lungs as the same, Moltres-shaped blast of flame flew toward Kai and Quaquaval.

As Kai finished twirling Quaquaval, he leapt along with him into the sky, striking a pose together in a sky as they held hands. Quaquaval's body shined white as he twirled and reverted back into his rapier state, and Kai regained his weapon and accessories. He caught his rapier that spun into the air and raised it as it charged with energy due to the movements that he and his Pokémon had made.

"Aqua STEP!" Kai roared.

Kai darted like an arrow, flying straight through the Torch song attack that Nemona had fired. A ray of blue light shone in the boy's wake as an incredible explosion rang where Nemona was standing. Soon, the smoke cleared, and revealed Nemona on the floor with her back raised, looking at Kai who aimed his rapier at her chest.

Kai's heavy breathing didn't stop him from holding his rapier steadily. Nemona looked up at her friend with incredible joy. Her hair and eyes slowly turned back to its original color.

"You… beat me..!" Nemona shouted. "You- you beat me! You actually beat me!"

"That's because you were using a fire type, and I was using a water type," Kai said, "I didn't beat you at your 100% best, just yet…but…I did do a good job."

Kai offered a hand to Nemona, and Nemona stood up with his help.

"So!" Nemona asked as she picked up the weapon Fuecoco had become, which lied on the ground. "How does it feel? You beat me when I genuinely tried to win!"

"I feel… like I expected more. Like, I expected to be..y'know, untouchable. But right now, I feel…slightly different than before, but no so much so that I'm not me." Kai said. "I thought when I started to become confident I'd just become a totally different person or something."

"Well…that's because the confidence you have has always been inside of you. You just had to notice it." Nemona said. "I think..what matters is that you're authentically you. You don't have to be some master who is untouchable. You don't have to be some legendary trainer that everyone even fears at the thought of. All you have to be is yourself. And like you said before… no one is better at doing that than yourself."

Kai smiled. "Yeah. You're right."

The sound of clapping caught the attention of both Nemona and Kai. They both turned their heads to see Geeta approaching them along side her signature Pokémon, Kingambit.

"Well done, Kai, Nemona. You both did well." Geeta said.

"What?!" Arven's voice made Kai and Nemona turn their heads to the other side to see Arven and Aeon approiaching.. "Is that Geeta!?" Arven continued.

"In the flesh," Geeta said with a smile. "I trust that you two have been training hard?"

"Of course!" Nemona shouted.

Kai smiled. "Yeah." He said.

"Perfect. What's most important is that you two enjoy yourselves. That being said, I want to say one thing. Kai, are you ready to fight your next Gym battle?"

Kai smiled. "Yeah," He said. "I wanna knock it out of the par-"

"Hey- hey- hold on!" Arven shouted. "Before anything- we agreed that we'd go for the Herba Mystica that my Mobasti-" Arven stopped himself short. "The herba mystica that I need. You weren't here, but-"

"There was a Herba mystica in the beak of a Bombirdier. I let it fly away, thinking it'd be fine, because just in case it did transform and cause trouble, I'd just cut it down."

"Seriously?" Arven asked.

"It might be my Bombirdier.." Kai said.

"It probaly is. There's not supposed to be any Bombirdier that live around here," Arven said.

"I could try calling for it," Kai said.

"Do it, please." Arven said.

Kai turned his head upwards. "HEYYYYY! BOMBIRDIER!"

No response.

"MY HEAD'S REAL COMFY, IT'D BE A REAAAL SHAME IF SOMETHING FELL ON MY HEAD RIGHT NOW!"

No response.

"Well, I tried." Kai said with a shrug.

"That's okay, if it's your Bombirdier, we can probably catch it without a fight." Arven said.

"Can we compromise? While Nemona, Kai and I go to the nearest Gym, you and Aeon can go together to find Kai's Bombirdier." Geeta said.

Arven sighed and crossed his arms. "Okay. That's a good idea. Aeon?"

Aeon bent his finger under his lip. He remembered the fear in Bombirdier's eyes when it saw him. But after remembering that Arven doesn't really train his Pokémon, he sighed, realizing that if anything went wrong, Aeon himself would be the one to fight.. "We'll go together." Aeon said, nodding.

"All right," Arven said.. "We'll split up for now.

Kai turned to Aeon. "I'm going to miss you," he said.

Aeon smiled and approached his boyfriend, pecking him on the cheek. "'ll miss you, too." He said.

They both hugged for a while, then pulled away, holding each other's hands as Aeon slowly pulled away, letting go of Kai's fingers as he brushed off.

"See you guys!" Nemona said, waiving her arms over her head.

Geeta smiled and waved.

"Just text us when you're ready to meet up!" Kai shouted, raising one hand over his head.

Arven and Aeon moved onwards out of sight.

Geeta turned to the two kids beside her. "Ready?" She said, looking directly at Kai.

"Ready." Kai said.

Penny looked at the golden necklace that had the insignia of an invoker laying on her desk in front of her.

The perfect Invoker was finally finished. Once tomorrow came around, the end of Team Star would finally begin.

"PEN-PEN!" The voice of Penny's father hammered her ears. "COME GET SOME DINNER!"

"AAUGH! Daaad! Don't CALL me that!" Penny shouted. "I told you for the millionth time already!"