Emma walked in to see Lex with a dark grin on her face.
"Hey Lex, you want to annoy the hell out of Batman?"
Lex developed a large and wicked grin, as he still snickered over the kryptonite-laced itch powder Emma had put into Superman's clothes from last time. Honestly, she only had to mention it was for a prank on the guy and he had handed it to her without a second thought. Having actual proof she did it made his year!
"What's going on?"
"I'm being bribed, by multiple people no less, to act in Batman's stead so he and his little groupies can go on an actual vacation far, far away from Gotham. I was wondering if you had any ideas to help me annoy not only him, but the other capes," said Emma cackling. "Even his butler is in on it!"
Lex snorted at that. He knew Emma wouldn't do anything that would get her into trouble, and she outright refused to be a villain.
Seeing some cops come into his building, an idea occurred to him.
"What about being properly deputized and actually reading the Rogue's gallery their rights when arresting them? Imagine the cops reaction to a cape who bothers to follow proper procedure when it comes to evidence," he suggested.
"Oh god that's hilarious!" said Emma laughing. "I can only imagine how irritated the local prosecutors and cops are about capes constantly dumping villains on them and ruining the evidence during a fight!"
"Plus it would confuse everyone having someone actually following protocol."
"It probably doesn't hurt that I only plan to get involved if there's a rogue causing trouble. Let the cops deal with the petty stuff like bank robberies and the like," said Emma grinning.
"Just avoid the Joker, he's a bit much even for me," said Lex.
Emma gave him a thumbs up.
"Do you have any body cams I can borrow? That way the rogues in Gotham will have a harder time," she asked.
Lex snorted.
"I'll let R and D know you're stopping by to borrow a few of our smaller cameras. Feel free to keep them," said Lex.
"Thanks Lex, you're the best."
"Just remember to rub it in Superman's face that I'm your favorite," said Lex with a grin. Emma gave him a thumb's up.
A few days later...
Commissioner Gordon looked at the obvious Green Lantern with no small amount of confusion. To be fair, she had walked in and politely asked to see him, and since it was a hero, the cops had obliged.
"What do you need?" asked Gordon, expecting some new rogue or villain to be causing trouble.
"I'm here to get deputized so that when I read the Rogues their rights later, it'll actually stick in court," she explained.
Dead silence, as every cop stopped what they were doing to stare at her.
"You what?" said Gordon.
"I came here to be officially deputized so that when I read the Rogues their Miranda rights later for causing trouble, it will actually stick up in court and give the prosecutors an actual chance to make the charges stick," she repeated.
Gordon's brain looked like it was experiencing the blue screen of doom, and he wasn't the only one.
"Hold up...are you telling me one of you freaks is actually willing to follow police procedure while you're here?" said Bullock, his voice incredulous and loud.
Everyone waited with baited breath to hear what she said next, and her grin was absolutely wicked.
"It's to annoy that overdramatic furry because I'm actually bothering to follow the letter of the law and not trying to do your job. So long as a Rogue or other super powered nut isn't involved, I'm not going to bother. Having a cape just confuses the crime scene and makes it harder for you all to do your jobs," she explained.
It started slowly, but several of the older, more world-worn detectives began to laugh. Very few people had the balls to openly call Batman of all people an "overdramatic furry".
Gordon seemed to reboot when he realized what she was offering.
"Could you wait a few moments for me to get things ready? I have the feeling you're going to have one massive audience for this," he said finally.
"No problem. I'll be here for at least a week or two covering for Batman, since he'll be on vacation. You have no idea the number of people who bribed me to give him one...including his overworked butler."
That got a snort out of Gordon and a few others.
In less than thirty minutes, the new Green Lantern was being formally sworn in as a member of the Gotham Police Department, to the amusement and incredulity of a rather large number of cops. Some were openly streaming the entire thing because the other precincts didn't believe them when they sent out the message.
The looks on people's faces when Emma showed up and arrested people in an energy based hamster ball and proceeded to actually read them their rights was pretty damn hilarious.
Batman was not amused when Gordon looked somewhat disappointed after he returned from his forced vacation.
Some time later, in Metropolis...
Lex was downright howling with the sheer number of articles coming from Gotham.
"Come on Lex, it's not that funny," said Clark.
"Are you kidding? Forget the civilians and the cops, do you have any idea how many of the Gotham Rogues have been bitching about a hero openly reading them their rights?" said Lex cracking up.
Clark's mouth tilted upwards slightly.
"Okay, it's a little funny."
"Oh it gets better...Emma openly had a girl's night out with Harley and Ivy, and they were singing her praises for hours on our private servers," said Lex with glee. "Most of the female rogues learned quick where they stood with her, and were pleased to learn I had her number and that she would be open for regular meetings."
A true neutral in their circles was exceptionally hard to find, so having Lex endorse her was a major sign of trust.
Clark wouldn't be surprised to see Diana having a nice luncheon with Harley, Ivy and Emma later without weapons being drawn. Emma had that sort of charisma about her.
"So how are the news outlets taking things?" asked Lex.
"Lois about busted a rib when she realized what Emma had done, and you wouldn't believe some of the wild things the Gotham tabloids were coming up with."
"Personally I would have paid cash money to see Batman's reaction to the entire thing."
Clark snickered, as he had been present to the bitchfest Batman gave Emma after he returned and found out what she had done.
They had to take a few people to the infirmary from laughing too hard at the body cam video of Joker in a modified hamster ball that had a spike leading to his balls. Every time he tried to walk, the thing grew closer to them until he was at risk of being castrated by the thing.
The cops were rather gleeful/leery of the entire thing, because it meant Joker had to choose between his manhood or his freedom.
When asked later by a reporter why she had created that ball instead of shackles, Emma had given a rather sensible reply that had surprised everyone.
"This nutjob has been handcuffed time and again and can likely find a way to get out of them faster than I can blink...and who knows what sort of nonsense he has on him. I'd rather keep him contained in a way that implies he has a choice in the matter that won't give the cops any issue in transporting him!"
"So where is Emma now?" asked Lex.
"She's temping for Flash, last I heard. He about jumped at the chance to have an actual vacation," said Clark.
~*~*~*~
Emma was subbing for Batman when it happened.
She took one look at Harley and knew, instinctively, why the woman was acting off. It was likely Harley had only just found out, or suspected something.
Which was why she "slipped up" and let Harley escape after capturing Joker. Less than a few hours later Emma showed up at her doorstep with fried foods.
"How far along are you?" asked Emma.
Harley blinked, despite being midway to accepting the bribe. She had let Emma in once she recognized her and saw the treats.
"What?"
"Your pregnancy. How far along?" asked Emma.
Harley stared at her.
"How the fuck did you know I was pregnant? I only found out this morning!"
"Trust me, I recognized the signs. So?" asked Emma.
Harley winced.
"About a month along," she admitted. "Mista J doesn't know yet."
"I'm going to be blunt. Do you want him to know about the child?" asked Emma.
Harley shook her head, vehemently.
"I can handle Mista J, because I'm used to it. But a kid don't deserve to live like that. Much as I'd love to raise a family with him, Mista J would be a horrible father," she admitted.
"Do you want to keep it?" asked Emma.
"With my track record?" laughed Harley bitterly.
"My point stands, do you want to keep it?" asked Emma.
Harley was quiet.
"I would love to keep them, but I'm terrified Mista J would find out and use them in his dumb games with Batsy," said Harley. She looked so defeated. "It's not like I have many options."
Emma pulled Harley into a hug, which the crazed girl accepted. Tears flowed down Harley's face, as the full situation sank in. It wasn't like she had many people to trust with this sort of thing, and there was no way she could raise a kid with how often she was in and out of prison.
"Here's what we're going to do," said Emma. "You're going to lay low until Batman comes back and I'll take you with me once I leave Gotham. Then you're going to stay with me until we figure out a plan for the kid."
Harley stared at her.
"Why are you helping me?"
"Because no one helped me during my pregnancy, and I still haven't found where my son went after that bitch of a nurse filed false paperwork for a closed adoption," said Emma bitterly.
Seeing the look Harley was giving her, Emma sighed.
"I'll give you the case file to look up from the lawsuit I had Lex file on my behalf, but let's say I empathize with what you're going through."
Harley used her computer to look up the case Emma told her about, and after some hard thinking came to a decision to trust her. Emma was nothing like the other capes, and openly empathized with the Rogues whenever she visited. The only one she didn't really get along with to some extent was the Joker.
Ivy, after being told what was going on, urged Harley to take this chance. Being away from the Joker during such a sensitive time would only be good for her friend, and Emma was far more trustworthy compared to some of the other heroes.
She wasn't some goody-two-shoes and she wasn't some grizzled hero who had a grudge. She was a sassy, intelligent woman who wanted to do something good with her new powers, but also took the time and effort to try and understand why the rogues caused so much trouble in the first place.
It was hard to hate the Green Lantern when she temped for the other heroes to give them a break when she had you laughing at her sarcastic comments.
Most of the Gotham rogues respected Emma because she treated them like people, not monsters. Especially during her first stint, when instead of beating up Riddler she had him openly laughing at her answers to his harder riddles. Some of which were openly ridiculous, but made a weird sort of sense if you thought about them from another perspective.
Or when she gained Penguin's respect by politely asking what sort of treats his pet birds were allowed to have and what breed they were because she wanted to address them correctly.
Batman certainly never took the time to get to know them like that.
Ivy felt only relief when Harley took Emma up on her offer to hide for a while until her kid came out.
Knowing her relationship with Lex, Ivy sent out a message on the private server Named Villains.
Any idea what sort of plant I should give Emma for helping out Harley? -Ivy
Please don't. The last time Emma tried to grow a house plant, it died within a week. There's a reason she mostly stuck to helping with the animals -Lex
Animals? -Penguin
Emma was literally raised on a farm. -Lex
What sort of pets did she have growing up? -Catwoman
None really. They had a few barn cats, but those were working mousers and not pets. She did express an interest, but her father would never allow anything short of a working breed. -Lex
You two sound close -Harley
I was close to her brother originally. Then she did something that cemented her as my favorite person and we stayed in contact -Lex
Now I have to hear this...what did she do to cement herself as your favorite person? -Ivy
She once said, and I'm quoting her directly about this when asked why I had brought a barely minted fourteen-year-old girl to a fancy party "Well of course Lex is evil! His father is literally Satan, which makes him the anti-Christ! The poor guy never stood a chance in that regard!" -Lex
There was several moments of silence on the chat board.
That cemented her as your favorite person? -Harley
This was after someone commented on how all Luthors were evil, and she was looking directly at Lionel when she said that in full view of several reporters. I nearly choked on my food from laughing so hard. -Lex
You were laughing at the fact she called you the anti-Christ at fourteen? -Catwoman
If you had ever met Lionel Luthor in person, you would have agreed with her. -Lex