Emma took one look at the pained expression on Superman's face, and the slightly uncomfortable one on "Connor Kent". Familiar features began to show, and a wicked, mischievous grin came across her own.
"Oh god, he didn't."
"He did," said Superman, sighing the sigh of the damned.
Emma was cackling, already pulling out her phone.
"Um...who is she calling?"
"The Anti-Christ," said Superman deadpan. Emma cheerfully showed Connor the name on her screen and it really did say "Anti-Christ" with a Metropolis area code.
"What do you need Emma?" came the oddly cheerful voice of Lex Luthor, which made Connor choke, just a bit.
He looked to Superman for explanation.
"I now have undisputed proof of your unresolved sexual tension with Superman," she cackled.
Dead silence, before Lex gave an equal sigh of the damned that Superman had.
"You met Connor."
"He's right in front of me Lex!" laughed Emma. "You're never living this down you know."
"I know, I know," said Lex. "Same time next week?"
"Yup, and be prepared for a heckling," said Emma, before she hung up.
Connor was utterly confused.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Emma and I were close to Lex when we were younger. Due to circumstances, I was forced to end the friendship but Emma stayed close with Lex," said Superman. "Emma is one of the few members of the League who can talk Lex down when he snaps, and has made it clear that she refuses to talk work with him."
"I'm also one of the few people he can call to act as his partner to some fancy shindig that won't bore him to tears and isn't trying to get anything from him," said Emma. "So don't be surprised if I keep him appraised on how you're doing."
"So basically you're a true neutral party in this mess," said Connor.
"Pretty much, and boy does Batman hate it," said Emma cheerfully.
"So what area do you patrol?" asked Connor. He did want to get close to his aunt.
"She doesn't. Emma doesn't have any particular city she protects. Instead she takes over for other heroes so they can get a much needed vacation and make sure their city is still defended," said Superman proudly. "She'd make a terrible cop."
"And yet oddly I'm one of the most well known lawyers on Earth, despite never stepping foot in an official court room," said Emma. "Though I'm pretty damn good at mock trial...Lex sometimes asks me to step in whenever his sharks are busy on a bigger case."
Usually bailing him out of prison.
"I still can't believe that law firm hires you on a contingency basis," said Superman with a laugh.
"Means less work for them, and this way I can borrow their bored baby sharks to do research work for me," snorted Emma.
Connor was sure of one thing...Emma was definitely the fun aunt.
That fact was cemented when he saw the video of a guest lecture at a law school where she had the students come up with a fun thought exercise to get the League committed or arrested. She wasn't the only one clutching her sides laughing her ass off when some brave soul chose Batman and she heard their reasoning.
Superman had to sign so many autographs, but it was absolutely worth it when Emma told him what the subject was.
~*~*~*~*
Emma was not having a fun birthday. Her son would have been ten by now, and they still had no idea where he was or even what name he had been given.
Everyone in the League knew not to talk about kids or even bother Emma whenever his birthday came up.
Emma had been feeling lonely, seeing her nephews stumble through being teenagers. So she had gotten a quick date off a website, and out of habit ran a background check on the guy. The site was running slow, so she was halfway through dinner before the results popped back up.
With the sigh of the damned, she plastered on her most polite smile for when she knew things were going to hell in short order.
It felt incredibly cathartic, alerting the cops to a bail-jumper and knowing this asshole's car was about to be booted.
"It must be nice, being out on a date when your wife and children are waiting at home after having to pay your bail," said Emma with a sickly sweet tone.
Paling, her so called date all but bolted. Emma didn't bother to rush, and calmly got up to follow. The cops were already waiting for him.
"This is why you're still single, bitch."
"Better to be a bad-ass bitch than a cheating bastard," she shot back. "Enjoy prison."
Emma could care less about the money she would get for catching him. All she wanted was a nice quiet date, and now her evening was absolutely shot.
She sent Lex and Clark a quick text, before heading home.
It said volumes that less than ten minutes after she got there, there was a pizza, soda and some flowers at her doorstep. Lex was always so considerate.
She went into her apartment, swapped out of her clothes into something more comfortable, and prepared to sit down and eat. Her appetite had been shot at that fancy restaurant after learning about her date's cheating.
The knock at the door was beyond irritating, but nothing prepared her for the shock she was about to get.
"Uh...are you lost kid?"
"My name isn't kid, it's Henry. I'm your son," he said bluntly. He wore well loved clothes and was carrying a ridiculously heavy book.
The next morning...
Emma had a headache, but one of the perks for being part of the League was that they were super fast at running a DNA test. Clark came by very fast upon hearing the circumstances, and took the soda Henry had drank straight to Bruce for analysis. They'd send her the results direct.
By the time Henry had woken up, the results were back...and the kid wasn't lying. He really was her missing son.
However he had come alone and he was way too young to travel solo.
Henry raised an eyebrow at the nice car Emma had, and for whatever reason didn't make a face when she firmly told him she was driving him back to his adopted mother. She was not going to deal with a damn kidnapping charge.
The second she passed town limits, Emma stiffened slightly. She knew a magical barrier when she felt one, and this one was pretty powerful.
No wonder she had such trouble finding him, if he had been living in this sort of thing.
The look of fury on his adopted mother's face told Emma everything she needed to know. This Regina was a strict, no-nonsense woman who was justifiably angry over her son vanishing like that. And whatever she thought of her, Emma could tell Regina genuinely cared about her son.
That alone put her in Emma's good books.
Emma decided to look around, mostly to see what sort of place Henry grew up in.
Besides, she had skipped breakfast and was starving, since the kid ate most of the leftover pizza.
By the end of the day Emma had nothing but sympathy for Henry. The poor kid was the son of the Mayor who ran a tight ship on the town. Everything he did was being reported right back to his mom, and everyone at the school knew that he was the Mayor's son.
It never made her sympathize with Lex more, as he likely had to go through the same nonsense growing up thanks to his asshole father Lionel.
Coincidentally she was keeping both her brothers appraised of what was going on.
Sitting down, she started to read the book Henry had given her. He claimed his mother wouldn't like it if she found it, something to do with a curse.
There was definitely magic coming off the thing, and she would have loved to have Zatanna look at it.
She got a few pages in before she stopped, and an incredulous look came across her face.
There was no damn way. And as much as she dearly wished for a coincidence, she knew her luck wasn't that good.
Still she'd hold on to her delusion that she wasn't about to call Clark and whine about him having said it was only a matter of time before this sort of nonsense happened to her. She was overdue after all.
~~*~*~*
Regina was not pleased, having Henry's birth mother show up like this. The woman had given her son up for a closed adoption, and she had no right to be in his life. She was the mother, not this Emma Kent.
So you could imagine her surprise when Emma made an appointment to have a proper talk with her.
She would have expected her to have no sense of decorum.
Before Regina could even say a word, Emma raised her hand.
"I know exactly what you're going to say, and I acknowledge that my sudden arrival is beyond awkward. I have no intention of trying to take Henry away from you at this stage. You've earned the title of his mother," she said bluntly.
Regina stared at her, mostly in shock.
"You...what?"
"I have spent the past ten years trying to find him, while you've been raising him. You've been there for every fever, special event and birthday," said Emma calmly.
Regina calmed down slightly. Emma was being far more rational about this than she anticipated.
"That being said I am not going away, at least not yet. I intend to at least get to know him better and to hopefully mend the bond that damn nurse broke when she forged those papers."
"What nurse?" said Regina confused.
Emma handed her a case file. She had one of the interns run it over to her before she came to Storybrook, so she would have it handy.
"There was a major lawsuit in the facility I was being held at. One of the nurses was hiding the fact her brother who worked as a guard was forcing some of the inmates to sleep with him," said Emma bluntly. "The second I got out I went to my brother for help finding Henry, since he was supposed to go to my parents and older brother until I was free. I was not happy finding out she forged my signature for a closed adoption."
Regina looked over the file, and her expression changed from combative to slight sympathy.
"So what now?" asked Regina.
"I plan to stick around and get to know Henry. Since you did raise him, you have primary say over his health and schooling," said Emma.
That seemed to ease Regina's mind a bit. Emma wasn't trying to forcefully butt into her relationship with Henry.
"Barely acceptable," said Regina.
"Let me put it this way, I've spent ten years trying to find him. I can wait eight more for when he's a legal adult and able to have his own say in matters," said Emma.
"I'm surprised you're being so rational about this," said Regina.
"When you have to put up with two brothers who have regular spats, you learn to compromise. Does not help I'm the only true neutral in that mess," sighed Emma.
Besides, she had earned a bit of downtime.