"Is there anything else you can remember, Dick?" Bruce asked again. "I know your head is bothering you but any details, big or small, will help grow our file on them"
Dick nodded, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. After his cry woke everyone in Wayne Manor, Dick had no choice but to admit his Court related nightmare to Bruce. He hated every word that left his lips. Bruce's face never permitted a single twitch but Dick could feel his disappointment over Dick's weakness and vulnerability permeate the air; just as thick as Gotham's morning fog.
Damian had claimed that he would watch over Dick to ensure he had a plentiful rest but it had only taken about 10 minutes before Dick was able to coax his youngest brother into bed with him. They watched video game reviews and meme videos until they fell asleep shoulder to shoulder.
"I can't really confirm it with any dates but I'm super certain that I wasn't with them the entire 5 years" Dick replied with downcast eyes.
Bruce nodded, "That does help but I'll note that it's just a hunch for now. I'm still curious as to your escape as well. If they let you out for some reason or if you escaped through a systematic weakness of theirs"
It went unsaid that Deathstroke was the most likely cause for Dick's split captivity with the mercenary and the Court.
Dick nodded but didn't reply. He shifted on his feet, "Oh, and their base in underground but not in the sewers. I don't remember any rotting smells but it was underground for sure. Like repurposed subways systems and caverns"
Bruce grunted as he rubbed his chin, "We already knew that" he said to himself.
Dick scowled before crossing his arms and looking to his left; at the now empty containment cells, "You asked for any details" he muttered lowly.
Bruce stopped as the corners of his eyes widened slightly before he dipped his head apologetically, "You're right Dick, thank you"
Dick didn't reply. Their relationship had been tense since that last therapy session. Dick had politely but firmly refused Canary and Dr. Leslie's insistence that they re-start informal therapy sessions.
Dick had begun to gravitate towards Tim and Damian's presence, excluding Jason and Bruce from much of his daily routine and training. Bruce could understand Dick's tantrum against him and his decisions but it was rare for Dick to hold a grudge against his brother for this long. Bruce knew it was significantly connected to Jason not only thinking that Dick's interactions with Deathstroke were reckless but that he had sided with Bruce against Dick. It didn't matter if Jason was trying to be logical and that accidentally pitted them both against Dick's recent choices; it still hurt Dick's pride and affronted his brotherly loyalty immensely.
No one would describe Dick as having no sense of pride or ego but when it came to family, any semblance of those constituents fell away rather quickly and readily bent the knee if it meant someone else was appeased or saved. Not this time, apparently.
Trying to gravitate Dick back towards positive productive work Bruce asked, "Do you remember if this was before or after that tattoo Cobb gave you?"
Dick's shoulders and back stiffened every so slightly, "I'm not sure. I was healing really fast which could mean after that tattoo and that fancy serum he was obsessed about. But when Ta-Lincoln er grabbed my hair I don't think half my head was shaved"
Bruce nodded, "That's fine. I'll let you know if I have any other questions"
Dick didn't reply, turning on his heel and walking back upstairs rather quickly.
Dick frowned as he made his way upstairs to his room. Everything had gone crashing down around him recently. Slade hadn't reached out in a while, he was still going over repetitive crude memory recountments with Bruce for additional details, and Jason had the nerve to be upset with him after he had sided with Bruce that night.
The fact that Slade hadn't reached out after Dick failed to show for 2 weeks in a row bothered Dick. He tried to convince himself it wasn't hurt that he was feeling. If the older mercenary decided he wasn't worth the effort to follow up on then it was only good news for Dick. It meant that he would hear less crap from Bruce on his poor decision-making skills. Still, Dick couldn't help but obsess slightly over the strange radio silence, Slade hadn't left a burner phone or number for him anywhere. Dick had wondered if Slade had come across something crucial relating to the Court and needed help, but he quickly dismissed the notion. He felt like a pathetic love-sick puppy by entertaining the notion of the mercenary being in trouble and needing Dick to save him when the obvious reality was that Slade was too busy or not concerned enough with Dick to come to find him.
A small dark part of Dick ground his teeth over how that made Bruce even more right in his assumption that Slde was after something by meeting up with Dick. He either got what he wanted or decided Dick wasn't worth the trouble anymore and had probably left Gotham.
Dick truly believed that his 6th sense was never triggered when he was with Slade. He enjoyed those late-night escapades. Much of his fondness surrounding those handful of nights was quickly being soured by his conflicting emotions surrounding Jason. His little bro and best friend. The first kid to see and feel what Dick lived through as Robin beside Batman. Not only that, he had turned out to be one of the roughest and most rugged Robins; often breaking Bruce's rules over lethal injuries and killing.
It lit a fire inside Dick over the unfairness and hypocrisy of it all. Dick spent more than half his childhood defending Jason and his brash actions, even when Dick genuinely agreed with Bruce. Jason also regularly interacted with criminals of all kinds for his old drug and gang monitoring business. He even killed and crippled many criminals his gang fought turf wars over. Bruce was always mad with Jason and admonishing him over his decisions and choices, but it was so frequent that many of the Batfamily believed it to be a pattern at this point instead of genuine.
Even though Jason killed 'deserving criminals' Bruce would never decide that Jason had crossed the line and throw him in Arkham or jail. He had threatened it once but dropped it after Dick had threatened to reveal Batman's secret to GPD.
"Don't you dare throw Jay in that hellhole, Bruce"
Bruce sighed, "Dick, what am I supposed to do? Let a murderer walk around Gotham doing whatever he wants on his own warped moral compass?"
"He's not a murderer, he's your son! He needs attention, and help, and love and your first reaction to pass judgment on him is worse than unforgivable"
Bruce glared at Dick, crossing his arms, "Our code is the only thing keeping us from turning into them"
Dick mirrored Brucve, "Not. It's Not" he hissed back scornfully.
They stared each other down for a few minutes. Bruce broke first, turning away with a sigh when Dick interrupted, "If you throw him in jail without even trying to bring him home and help him first, I'll reveal the Bat"
Bruce froze before turning back to Dick fully, his eyes wide and frozen in surprise.
"I'm not fucking bluffing Bruce, "I know it'll put us in danger and lead to so much more shit but if you lock up my brother I'll reveal everything to the GPD. Everything"
Since then, Jason had never really faced any consequences from Bruce. A small part of Dick liked to believe that Bruce would have never gone through with it, but he needed an external excuse to withhold himself and Dick readily accepted that obligation.
At night, when Dick was sleeping alone and watching the moon from outside his 2nd-floor balcony window, he could solemnly admit to himself that Jason's behavior hurt him on pretty much every level he could've. Dick used to jump through hoops to keep Jason out of trouble and side with him against Bruce but Jason had squandered his one opportunity to return to the favor. It wasn't completely fair of Dick to think this way because Jay hadn't had a ton of opportunities to support Dick, especially against Bruce; but it still cut him to the core. Despite Jay being the tallest and strongest out of their entire rag-tag family, it was hard to imagine his little Jay as someone who would fight him on anything. They'd always been close, or at least closer than Jason was with other people. Dick sighed, maybe he was forcing the big brother approach too harshly and this was just Jason's individuality breaking through.
To think that Jason would grow into adulthood to be more like Bruce rubbed Dick the wrong way. He loved Bruce dearly and owed him pretty much everything for taking him out of the adoption system and Juvie only a month after his parent's murder, but there always seemed to be a loyalty between the brothers in how they dealt with Bruce's habitual ways.
To think that Jason would be growing out and away from that hurt Dick's mature and immature senses. It made 22-year-old him saddened at the aspect of emotional distance between them. It made 17-year-old him burn with embarrassment and betrayal. Dick knew he was being unfair but he couldn't deny what he was feeling; he hated being so conflicted about his little brother. Growing up had been easy and clear. They were always a team and if Bruce was mean or dense or trying to limit their Robin night-time activity, then they were almost obligated to unite together and against him.
"Dick!" Tim called from below in the foyer.
Dick pulled on a hoodie, huffing when it caught on his head and he had to pull on the drawstrings to loosen it.
"Cming!" Dick's muffled yell came through his Flash sweater. He made his way downstairs but stopped when he saw Damian and Tim sitting together with an iPad.
"What did you do?" Dick asked with a knowing smile. There were very few reasons for these two brothers to ever be alone of their own violation.
Damian glared and crossed his arms. "Nothing!" Tim insisted as he waved Dick over.
"We were trying to set this up for a little while but communication is spotty, we had to make sure it was under 10 minutes and any 5G offline connection trail is encrypted.
Dick stared at Tim with a quirked eyebrow, "Uhhhh, okay?"
Dick approached the two, peering down to iPad with amused hesitation. Dick froze when he saw a familiar redhead on the screen; except now this redhead had a patchy beard.
Dick froze, his eyes wide, "Roy…"
"Hey" Roy cleared his throat, "Hey Dickie" Roy said. He was forcing a casual smile but Dick could see how the edges of his lips trembled slightly as he tried to reign in his emotions.
"Oh my god, it's good to see you Roy," Dick said with a grin so wide his cheeks ached.
Roy grinned back. He had a simple domino mask on and an all-black combat suit with a tactile vest. The suit had no sleeves and he had his red bow strapped to his back.
"I, I thought you were too busy with your mission," Dick said as he blinked away the increasing wetness.
"You came back from the dead, Dick. I think I can make one international call to you for a few minutes"
Dick smiled and laughed slightly as he started to lose the fight to hold in his tears. He was suddenly aware of Tim and Damian watching him as Jason and Bruce entered behind him. Dick knew he had to thank Tim and Damian for arranging this but also know they'd understand if he waited until after his 10 minutes.
For a few seconds neither one of them said anything, just taking the other in. Roy realized that they were wasting time, "God, Rob…..You're okay, right? Settling in nicely? I heard there have been some changes recently but you're going to catch me up when I get back from this fucking jungle okay?"
Dick grinned and nodded readily, "Definitely. It's uh-it's been weird for sure but it's all good. I'm good. I'm having some memory issues but my homework assignment is just to remember everything haha"
Roy grinned at Dick's attempt to express how hard his task was in a humorous way, "You never could forget, even when we wanted you to Rob. It'll come together. When I get back, I want you to meet someone too"
Dick's breath caught and he grinned wildly, Lian. Roy felt it wasn't safe for him to mention his daughter by name but Dick understood.
"I can't wait," he said happily.
"So, how is it going over there? Everything alright?" Dick asked.
Roy rubbed the back of his neck and Dick noted all the numerous cuts over his knuckles. "Sorry Rob, can't be too direct in what I say over the lines, even if this is supposed to be encrypted and off general access lines"
Dick nodded before falling silent, not sure what to say in such a short amount of time.
"You look good, man," Roy said with a smile. "You growing your hair out more?"
Dick flushed with embarrassment, "Oh this? I uh.."
Roy whistled when Dick lifted his arm above his head to run his fingers through his shaggy dark locks, "Daaaaamn Dickie, you're really a gym rat now aren't ya? Look at those triceps haha"
Dick dropped his arm like it was made of lead, "yea, haha"
Someone said something behind the screen and Roy shook his head at someone that Dick couldn't see. Dick gnawed his lip, "I'll let you go. I don't wanna cause any problems for your mission. We can catch up when you get home safely"
"See you soon, R"
Roy nodded and Dick noted that he saw a maskless Chesire walking in the background with supplies loaded into her arms.
"Is that Roy?" Jason asked behind them. Jason moved to come up beside the brothers and peer over Dick's shoulder to say hi but Dick frowned before giving the iPad back to Tim, "Thanks so much you guys". He walked off quickly, avoiding Jason and Bruce entirely.
Jason sighed as Tim handed him the iPad for the last few seconds they had with the archer. Roy's eyebrows were almost into his hairline. "What crawled up Rob's ass?"
"Me" jason grumbled.
Roy whistled, "Woooooooow. You got Wing that pissy at you?" His expression fell flat when he realized how bothered Jason truly was by Dick's continued grudge.
"It'll be fine, man. This is Dick. He'd never not forgive you. Even that old man of yours"
Tim cringed, feeling Bruce glower in the background. Jason sighed, "Yeah, whatever man. Just get back safe, yeah?"
Roy grinned, "Deffi-" The screen cut off and Jason was left staring at the encryption video software Tim preferred to use.
Jason sighed before throwing the iPad down onto the couch cushions and walking into the kitchen without a word.
Later that day, most of the brothers separated for school and school work while Dick and Damian met up with the YJ team at the cave.
They had started with light sparring and fun challenges like blindfold sparring with bamboo swords or how long could opponents hop on one foot while attacking each other. Within 2 hours, their structure had broken down until they were spread out across the cave floor closest to the grandfather clock entrance with games, cards, and phones.
Dick was spread out on his stomach beside Damian in a circle with Kaldur, Arty, and Wally.
Some of the others like Zantana, Blue Beetle, Megan, and Kal were close by playing poker with batarangs as prize money. Tim and Jason were off running errands or going to class.
Dick and his mashed circle were playing Catan but it had broken down quickly after Wally and Dick had teamed up and vowed to hinder everyone else's resources. Damian had demanded to join their alliance and Artemis threatened to flip the board game. Dick felt good, he felt in the moment and full of laughter.
A surreal moment overcame his senses where he realized that this joyous light feeling was something that he should always feel. This natural wholesomeness and lightness that was so rare nowadays. Thoughts like those were usually darker as he realized that he didn't feel this easy as much as he thought he deserved to.
"I swear to god you little shit, if you don't trade me that wood, you'll regret it" Artemis hissed at Damian.
Damian turned up his nose, "Why should I?" he asked
She threw up his hands, "80% of your cards are wood! Other resources would literally help you more than just all wood"
Damian examined his cards, "I don't know, I have a pretty strong alliance to back me and my crops, peasant"
Artemis seethed as Damian turned her down.
"Don't get ahead of yourself there my man. I dunno if we ever signed a treaty with you" Wally teased.
"As a relative of Richard's, I am automatically within your covenant" Damian informed Wally as pompous as he could.
"This is Catan, not crazy Bat world, you don't get an in, just like that" Wally snapped his fingers.
They both turned to Dick, demanding back up against the other but Dick merely smiled indulgently, "If you can't figure this out, how can we ever be a team and take down Arty"
Kaldur chuckled across the way, "I like your leadership skills, Wing"
Dick let a superficial mocked expression marr his features, "I am leading! I'm leading by example"
Kaldur gave Dick a stern look and Dick shrugged, "Fine, silent example?"
Kaldur and Dick began to laugh while Artmeis delighted in Damian and Wally's argument.
The cave's garage began to rumble slightly as it was opened electronically from outside. Dick and a few others peered over to see Jason ride in on his street-legal bike. His bright red and matte black bike gleamed as he slowed down dramatically before turning off to the side and parking inside the cave.
A few people waved to Jason and said hi as he dismounted and tucked his helmet under his arm. Jason refused to make eye contact with anyone and made his way upstairs.
Dick watched him go and felt his chest jerk and throb at seeing his brother so sad and forlorn. No one would ever describe Jason using those simpering terms but Dick could see how Jason's shoulders were dropped instead of hunched, showing sadness instead of tense anger. His eyes were cloudy and downcast instead of clear and bright green with rage. Jason was trying to hide behind a scowl but Dick knew his technicalities better than most.
Jason was sad and lost in his own head and it was all Dick's fault. How could he force his brother into a corner and exclude him to the point where he was sad and had no one to talk to. Dick was an awful brother and an even worse older brother. Dick can feel whatever he wants but at the end of the day, everything was about family; his family.
He had an obligation to make sure that Tim felt like he belonged, that Bruce knew he was salvageable, that Damian lived his life free of obligations, and that Jason felt loved. Dick had all of these things, it didn't matter if it was all torn from his 9-year-old hands, he'd still had all of this at some point and now it was his job to make sure his family had these things.
Dick should have never excluded Jason just for expressing his opinion that Dick's actions were unsafe. He never tried to lock Dick up like Bruce threatened. Dick knew Jason would never apologize either, a byproduct of living on the streets of Gotham and then being picked up by the most emotionally incompetent playboy in Gotham. Jason had no chance of performing above average on an emotionally intuitive scale. The fact that Dick could see and understand this made it all the more apparent that he had to the be the one to make the first move as well.
He would never admit that a small dark, smothered portion of his soul wanted to hold out until Jason felt as cold and shriveled as he had under Bruce's and Jason's gazes back in that forest.
"Jay!" Dick called. Jason had a hand extended for the railing of the first step when he froze and turned slightly to Dick. DIck could tell he was trying to keep his face calm and flaccid.
"Are you busy? You wanna join Catan? Wally and Damian just teamed up together" Wally and Damian spluttered in protest beside Dick.
Surprise flitted over Jason's eyes, brightening his cloudy veridian eyes. He glanced up the stairs before shrugging and turning back to Dick and the YJ team, "Sure" he replied nonchalantly as he avoided Dick's gaze.
Jason gently put his helmet down behind him as he took a seat beside Dick and crossed his legs.
"We aren't even ready for a new playe-" Damian was interrupted as Artemis swiped her hand over the board, purposefully knocking all of Damian's resources aside.
"Yes we are' She replied snuggly. Damian seethed and Kaldur laughed heartily.
Dick was in the middle of re-setting the board with Wally and Artemis when Bruce stepped down the stairs. He stopped at seeing the whole team spread out over the main center of the cave and frowned.
"Jason" he called, "Let's go over those case notes, I have some time between meetings right now"
"He's busy, Bruce" Dick replied immediately without looking up. Bruce looked to Dick and then back to Jason as if realizing they were together for the first time in a while.
Bruce didn't reply but when he didn't leave, Dick looked up, "We'll be done later," he told Bruce monotonously.
Bruce nodded after a minute, "Okay, Jason, come find me when you boys are done"
Dick looked surprised at how amicably Bruce responded before nodding for Jason, "Thanks, B". Dick quickly refocused on the game and avoided Bruce's staring presence. Bruce stayed for a few more minutes but not to watch the group and make sure the teens stayed off his monitor.
He just liked watching his boys together.
Bruce turned to go, trudging back upstairs to re-examine some Wayne Ent. paperwork while the boys were busy. Bruce had never gone out of his way to ask for Dick's help in analyzing and reviewing their growing files on the Court; he'd mainly be their most prominent source of information. He wanted to maintain this and keep Dick away from the Court as much as possible.
"Bruce!"
Bruce turned around on the last step before the manor's transition way when he saw Dick jogging after him. Bruce turned fully to face his oldest as he stopped the step below Bruce.
Dick opened his mouth before snapping it shut and clearing his throat, "Umm, thanks. I guess, B"
Bruce opened his mouth to ask Dick what he was referring to when Dick blurted out, "Sorry about recently and all. I-I know you were only being realistic and all. I'm not trying to be resistant to us finding the Court and haven't had any other contact with,...you know. Anyway, sorry about recently"
Dick turned to go when Bruce snapped his arm out and grabbed Dick's shoulder tugging him back towards him. Dick stumbled as the front of his ankles hit the step Bruce was on, forcing him to crowd onto it. Bruce tugged Dick into his chest, making sure to keep his hug light.
"It's okay, Chum. You shouldn't be apologizing anyway. I know I sound like a broken record after saying this so much but it's hard for me when you boys are in jeopardy. Everything that the Court did to you is still mostly unknown and it's caused you so much trauma, Dick. I know you were the one to experience this, but I am struggling to deal with the fact that my failure as your parent instigated this. I'm glad you're humoring me and aren't seeing Deathstroke anymore too"
Halfway through Bruce's dialogue, Dick returned the hug tenfold and gripped Bruce's sides and back in an iron hold.
Bruce gripped the back of Dick's head and patted his back before pulling away, "I love you, Dick. I just can't see you hurt again"
Dick smiled back, "Love you too Bruce"
The corner of Bruce's lip ticked up, "Tell Jason to come find me when you are all done. And don't let Blue Beetle near the Batcomputer again"
Dick nodded, watching as Bruce left. He was horrible at holding grudges. It hurt him to be a source of pain to his family in any way, even when his position was justified. It was almost too easy to let Jason back in but seeing Bruce's reaction and accommodating behavior for Jason and Dick, he knew he couldn't hold out much longer. Once he realized that most of his logic surrounding how unfair he'd been to Jason could also apply to Bruce as well, Dick knew he didn't have a good excuse not to make the first move as well. He was still incredibly irritated with Bruce, there wasn't any doubt about that, but the inside of his chest contorted and thumped at seeing Bruce turn away so dejected. He was glad he had made the effort, granted it was a tad annoying that he had to make the first move; but that was Bruce Wayne for you.
Heaven knows how Selina ever got over his emotional infantility.
Dick watched the space where Bruce stood a second ago, glad that he felt so much lighter after clearing the air a little with Bruce. It was moments like these that reminded Dick that no matter how different their opinions and stances were on most things, Bruce loved DIck and his brothers, and would always make the effort at the end of the day.
Dick's love language was pretty much everything but Bruce was obviously an actions kind of guy. Actions spoke and communicated much more than words ever did for Bruce, and hiding Dick away to preserve his safety was Bruce's attempt to convey his need to care for and love Dick. When Dick fought against Bruce's decisions, Bruce felt that his message of compassion and care were being rejected and turned down, which in turn caused him to be more crass than usual. Dick felt his bright mood deflate slightly at this reflection, it wasn't fair that Dick had to be the one to put things in perspective and way his emotional maturity over his personal gratification. It made him feel obligated to work around an obvious emotional barricade or incapability.
Sometimes Dick wished he was just as dense or as young as his brothers, that way he could respond however he wanted and blame it on his hormonal development in the world of vigilantes.
Dick sighed, life was never fair, that was the only given in life. Slade once told him that his stepdad was an abusive low life and once told 10-year-old Slade Wilson that, 'Life only guarantees 2 things: death and taxes'. Slade told Dick that he hated his old man so much, he made that statement false.
If he were brutally honest in a therapy session with Leslie right now, he would admit how he was slightly bitter that Bruce couldn't be a normal receptive parent and apologize to Dick first, but he hadn't been dealt those cards in life and he wasn't about to sit back and let his family suffer because he didn't want to sacrifice first.
Overall, he was just glad to start things down a better path with Bruce again. They never lasted but it was important to keep them generally in a good atmosphere. It helped steer Bruce away from the obsessive mentality of the Bat and it helped encourage his brothers to stick around the manor more; as a nuclear family should.