"Dick" Dick whirled around to find Bruce standing in the hallway.
He grinned and rubbed the back of his nape, "Hey Bruce"
Bruce's lip ticked up slightly, "What are you doing? You look like you're looking for something"
Dick hesitated and looked back to his room from where he stood in the doorway, "Yea…" he trailed off, "I think I was looking for one of my textbooks, but I honestly lost my train of thought" he admitted sheepishly.
Bruce nodded, "I think Alfred was looking for you. He might've sent you up to change your shirt if you're helping him bake" Dick's eyes lit up slightly, "Yea, that's probably it. Damn, I feel like the poster kid for ADHD this week-keep forgetting stuff" he chuckled slightly. He turned and made his way downstairs to the kitchen. Bruce didn't miss the fact that Dick still forgot to change his T-shirt. He'd found Dick listlessly standing in the hallway about 20 minutes ago and finally called to him. He'd been watching his open bedroom with a look that crossed between hyperfocus and disconnectedness.
Dick had been doing much better for the last few months. There had been a few close calls and accidental episodes that triggered strange or violent behavior in Dick, but it was lessening more and more. Leslie said it was a sign of productive progress and a mental stalemate at once. She said that Dick was acting more like himself, which was a good sign, but he wasn't remembering anything about the Court or his trauma. She said that if this didn't change by next month she would unfortunately have to initiate a more formal therapy session where Bruce would be present in case DIck had to be retrained. Bruce had agreed, eager to encourage something that would produce more concrete results. Dick was allowed mostly free reign of the house at this point. It'd be hard to keep him in the dark and contained in the cave this long if they didn't permit him certain things or into certain places. He seemed more agreeable than usual as well, accepting suggestions and explanations for mishaps far too quickly.
Damian had confided in him that he suspected Dick was aware something was amiss with himself but was hiding it until he could confront Bruce and his brothers with his theory. Bruce agreed to an extent; his oldest son wasn't a mental athlete like Tim, but his critical thinking skills and observational habits were far above the average 1% of society. Bruce suspected that Dick was accepting explanations and excuses from everyone around him to help him determine what was wrong and to cover his confusion. He knew Dick didn't have a large ego and unfailing pride but he was well aware of how severely Dick appreciated his independence and self-reliance. To feel so lost and not even be able to acknowledge it or talk about it to others must be a source of concern for Dick. His violent outbursts were fewer and fewer luckily though. There had been a few mornings where they'd been greeted by the talon behavior or 'Talon' as Jason was calling it. A few times he had been sedated while most times the boys had sat around a restrained or confined Dick and talked to him until he was more amicable and subdued. There had only been one more incident where Damian had ordered Jason to stop using his favorite chocolate milk mug and Jason had taken the opportunity to taunt and encourage the youngest Bat.
"Which one?" Jason asked while waving around Damian's mug.
"The blue one you dolt" Damian sneered.
Dick and Tim sat behind them, playing a speed typing test on his laptop. Leslie was always saying how Tim was a godsend. She was in love with the second youngest after learning that he was playing skill and brain acuity tests with Dick for fun.
"I duuunno" Jason drawled, looking around with false effort, "I think you're colorblind"
"The blue one!" Damian snapped, losing his patience.
Jason and Damian heard an abrasive screech and whirled around to find Dick standing at attention, his chair on its back against the floor. His shoulders were straight and his hands were lax at his sides, but his neck and jaw were tense with preparation and his eyes were focused on the far wall. Something in Damian's tone must have triggered Dick because Bruce hated to think that Cobb had turned Dick's color into some sort of trigger phrase for his warped weapon.
Bruce had gone through all of the Court evidence at least 20 times at this rate. The paperwork that Clark had managed to find was all on Dick, a young adult named Clara V, an older lady named Sawyer, 2 men titled patient AV and AB, and the girl who had brought them food while in captivity-Ella, Tim had called her.
Some of the terminology was difficult to discern because the Court's doctors and medical staff most likely had their own private way of referring to people and procedures. Bruce was disgusted to find photos of Dick ranging from 3 years old to the present; he'd even found an ultrasound photograph and could only assume it belonged to Mary Grayson's previous medical file. Bruce had scanned both the sonogram and the toddler photo once before placing them in the Wayne family album. There was an entire library dedicated to the boys and Bruce at this rate; Alfred had insisted on it once he realized that Bruce would have more than 2 boys under the same roof. He tried not to make a big deal out of finding a photo of Dick as a baby but more than once he'd found Alfred gazing at the 3-4 year old in the study. It was a simple picture of a small, slightly chubby boy with raven dark hair and luminescent blue eyes. It was the age where most children started to drop off their baby fat and Dick, living as he did, most likely shed it like a viper skin. Bruce could hardly fault Alfred for spending more and more time looking at the picture. A consequence of adoption, much less adopting his boys was that they didn't have any pictures of the boys before Bruce met them. Even Tim's family photos were burned down in the fire that killed his parents so Bruce had never been able to track down anything older than some family photos of the Drake family at events. Bruce hated to acknowledge this as he found that his chest squeezed a little more often and his fingers prickled with unease as he remembered that there was a time in his boys' lives that he wasn't there for wasn't aware of.
In the picture of Dick, he was holding onto a pole beside him and standing on one leg. His other hand gripped a small toy elephant in a death grip that only children seemed to manage, and he beamed up at the person behind the camera; most likely showing off his new skill. The other notes and reports were taken into account and filed away under the new persons and crime reports that Bruce and Tim had opened in the Batcomputer. He's seen how much time Tim spent reviewing Ella's file. There was so much information and so little to be learned. She was about his age or younger, maybe 15 or 16, and had undergone the electrum procedure as a child at 12. There were no reports of where she came from, ethnicity, or last name but Bruce had seen Tim trying to run her scanned image through the different missing persons record and GCPD's database in his free time.
The paperwork they'd taken from Ryland's office was proving to be a pipeline of new information as well. Just this year alone, she'd profited $11.5 million dollars from internal ventures, business partnerships, and affiliations. None of them were her direct businesses, just others that she had a stake in. There were some that were based out of the UK or Africa, China even. She had contracts with Lex Luthor dating back at least 20 years and was from Gotham originally. Bruce knew her family. His father had regular luncheons with the Rylands every other month; they were old money and Lydia seemed to be the last of the lineage. There was repeated mention of biochemical engineering labs and focused studies that were, mentioned in grants and sponsorships, passed between Lydia and Lex. Among most of the complicated legal terms and nonsense, there would be superficial examples given as to what the contract or document actually meant. Usually, it would refer to a new building as being suitable for cancer treatment and similar testing, but Bruce knew that it was just superficial legality talking. It was an example for the lawyers to give the ok, but in the end, it was only making the legal jurisdiction broader and giving Ryland and Luthor the okay to conduct more out-of-the-box experiments and projects with legal government-funded grant funds. He knew right away when he saw an an excerpt saying 'being suitable for cancer treatment and similar testing' that it was every other radioactive experiment they could think of; except cancer treatment. It would be the safe and acceptable answer given if ever taken to public court. Bruce had been through the legal fight and use of taxpayer dollars over and over again; all because someone was smart enough to use a synonym too broad for persecution.
Bruce huffed annoyingly, there was probably one room dedicated to cancer research or treatments that saw 1 patient every month. Just enough to be able to provide suitable formal documents should any feds or investigators get close enough to the followed Dick down into the kitchen, glowering when he saw it packed full of young adults and teens. Alfred was beaming, maneuvering between the many teammates overflowing the kitchen table and counters. There were trays of pancakes and fruit, fresh baked bread and crepes, and every kind of juice that their closest store was greeted promptly by a cup of coffee in his usual mug, "Thank you" Bruce murmured to Alfred as he took his first sip of the day. Bruce watched as Dick made his way over to the island kitchen counter, not asking Alfred about any of the baking topics Bruce had mentioned. He squeezed in between Artemis and Wally with an exaggerated huff and leaned over Damian's back, bracketing the smaller boy against his chest.
Damian didn't even pretend to complain, soaking in every aspect of his older brother's presence. Wally grinned and said something to Artemis over Dick's shoulder, earning him a glare. Across from them were Kaldur, Megan, and Connor. At the table to their left sat Tim, Jason, and Roy. They all looked content, being spoken at but only partially engaging. Their eyes were all on their own electronics. Bruce could understand that as he often felt socially fulfilled just by attending events and gatherings. Unfortunately, the Wayne Board and half his boys were extreme extroverts and required more attention than he naturally preferred to exert. Dick plucked a dry waffle out of a plate and dipped it in a small side bowl of syrup, "Do you want some waffle with that syrup?" Kaldur asked.
Dick turned up his nose and even reached across the table to grab the small bowl of syrup. He took a slow languid sip of the syrup before smacking his lips, "Ahhhh"
Megan cringed, "Diabetes is the leading cause of death in males, Nightwing"
"Only in the U.S.," Tim said, his eyes never leaving his laptop screen. Dick grinned at Tim and dunked his waffle all the way to his fingertips, "Timmy's always right" Dick declared.
Tim frowned as he backspaced aggressively, "Don't call me that"
"So, what are we doing for Arty's birthday?" Dick asked the room. Bruce watched from the doorway as everyone seemed to stiffen slightly. Artemis recovered first, "What do you mean?" She asked lightly.
Dick rolled his eyes, "Suuuuure. You totally didn't super heavily hint that you wanted something cute but fun…What'll it be? Tiger petting zoo? I can wave Bruce's name around and get after hour passes?" he looked around at all the faces to get a vibe check of the idea.
He shoved Wally on his left, "Come on Mr. Boyfriend, why am I making the plans?" he murmured.
Wally jerked and coughed once to hide his surprise. Bruce watched realizing that everyone must have caught on to some that he hadn't. It must have been about Artemis's birthday, or rather a specific one. Bruce wondered if it was just the month that Dick was wrong about or more.
"Sorry, we uh forgot to tell you that we uhhh-" his glazed flicked all over the table hoping for someone else to jump in with an excuse or response. Artemis looked frazzled and the table beside them looked dumbfounded.
"We're going to spend all day at the movies" Artemis rushed quickly. Dick looked at her in surprise.
"All day?" he asked, "Half of our team has severe ADHD and the other half just hasn't been diagnosed yet" he quipped, "Are you sure we can even sit still for that long?"
Artemis scowled, "We aren't 10 anymore, but yeah, I thought it sounded fun. We can get junk food and snacks between movies and just theater hop all day"
"Are you s-"
"Is it my birthday or not?" she glared.
Dick held up his hands in surrender, "Okay okay, you got me there"
"Uhhh actually there aren't a ton of movies out this weekend maybe we should wait another week or two so we can see some new ones and not just re-runs" Tim suggested.
"Good idea," Artemis and Roy said quickly.
"What?" Dick scrunched his brow, "But there are like 3 new movies out. There's that one about the assassin and the fast and furious, and one other"
"Nope," Tim said casually, popping the 'p'.
"Let me see" Dick went to pull away from Damian to peer at Tim's computer but Damian sniffed and gripped Dick's arms, which had been wrapped snuggly around him, more tightly, "I told you Richard doesn't always take your word, Drake"
Dick squeezed Damian's hand lightly, "It's not that I didn't believe him, Damy, don't be mean. I just wanted to double-check"
"No uh, those other ones are coming out next month," Jason said as he scrolled through his phone.
Dick looked bewildered, "What? Damn, I could've sworn…"
"Dick's losing it" Roy teased. Dick glared back playfully, "Alright, we'll plan for the next 2 weeks or so"
As the topic moved on to lighter stuff; TV shows and teasing, Bruce took his opportunity to corner Jason when he made his way to the fridge. Jason opened the fridge to pull out more butter when Bruce moved beside him and pretended to pour more coffee, "What is the matter with Crock's birthday?" Bruce asked lowly.
Jason must have been prepared for the subtle interrogation, "Well for starters it's in December" It was currently April, "And also, do you remember that time we had a party at Wally's and Sportsmaster crashed and tried kidnapping Connor for something about Lex. It was some vendetta against him or some shit Cadmus miss-"
"I remember" Bruce prompted Jason to continue, although he was already connecting the dots, "That was the birthday Dick is talking about. We just had a party and got a little shit-faced while Barry and Iris were away"
"You were 14"
Jason nodded, "Almost 15, but yeah"
"Dick's perception of reality is warped if he doesn't look at everyone and see the fault with his internal assumptions of age" Bruce mused aloud. Jason nodded.
Bruce narrowed his eyes, "You were barely 15" he repeated. Jason nodded, "Keep up, old man"
"You just said you got 'shit faced"
Jason froze from where he was fiddling with the butter on the counter, "Coming!" he called back to no one and quickly legged it back to Roy and Tim.
Damian was looking at Richard when he realized how severely his oldest brother had kept them all in the dark. He'd left to take a nap a few hours ago but Damian was never not antsy anymore and eventually sought him out. He knew he might disrupt Richard's sleep if he was still resting but knew that he would most likely be forced to cuddle if that was the case. If so, Damian was willing to take the risk.
Most of Richard's teammates had gone home with the exception of Harper and West. They were downstairs with Todd while Drake was most likely knee-deep in research and evidence backlogging with Father. He made his way up the stairs, taking them 2 at a time, and found Richard's bedroom door wide open. For a moment, he couldn't help hesitating just outside of the doorframe. He remembered the wildness and frantic energy when they'd discovered Richard had been sneaking out to see Deathstroke. It must have been through his bedroom window because Richard had taken him aside one night, many years ago, and showed him an efficient escape route through that very window.
He'd crouched in front of Damian and gripped him firmly, "I'm putting my trust in you, Damian. This path will get you out of the Manor and off the grounds without detection but this is only for emergencies. I'm serious"
Damian rolled his eyes, "Why would I ever need to escape my own home?"
Richard smiled grimly, "I like the optimism Little D, but it's our job to stay prepared for anything and everything. Alright?"
Damian heard a slight rustle from inside the room and it dispelled his lingering stupor and rising feelings. He shook himself out of it further, 'Richard is here and not running away. He wasn't then either-he was just confused' he reminded himself firmly.
Damian took a step forward and stopped when he spotted Richard. The oldest Robin was hunched over the edge of his bed with Drake's laptop in his lap. His fingers were flying across the small keyboard at a rate that would have Gordon proud. For a moment Damian stood still and watched his brother when suddenly dread crept in like a lioness over a meerkat and his skin prickled with sudden awareness. Richard was on the laptop…on the internet. He knew what day it was. He had access to information. He didn't believe what they'd been telling him.
Was his confusion this morning an attempt to blindside everyone or was he only aware of the correct date now?
Damian froze and did his best to take small quiet steps back, the carpet and socks aiding his retreat. For a few minutes, he hid just outside of Richard's periphery, hoping he could think of the next smartest action. Should he get Father? Should he confront his brother? Tell Drake to lock all the electronics? That wouldn't work. Their oldest brother wasn't a tech wiz like Drake but he could figure most anything out with enough time.
Damian peaked around the corner at Richard's back and squinted at the screen. He could only see a quarter of it but it was covered in words with a picture every now and then-an article maybe? He leaned too far and the doorway creaked under his weight. Damian caught himself from cursing out loud and stood straight as Richard peered around his shoulder and spotted Damian. His bright blue eyes lit up and Damian felt warmth curl in his gut. He might never get over how frustrated he was that he craved attention from Richard Grayson like Egypt craved Ireland's rain.
"Hey Dami" he greeted warmly.
Damian shuffled in, hoping he wasn't looking as uncertain as he felt, "I thought you were napping?"
Richard shrugged, "I was but it's hard to during the day you know?"
Damian nodded and didn't call out the lie. All vigilantes were perpetually sleep-deprived, napping was a learned skill. Some could even grab a few minutes of shut-eye standing up or leaning against a wall. Without meaning to, his eyes flashed to the laptop. Richard smiled and closed it, tossing it casually further up on the bed. He repositioned himself to face Damian fully, "Is something wrong?"
Damian shook his head but he knew what he'd seen.
'Star Labs and med. Clinic site robbed in Gotham'
"Are you alright?" Damian blurted out. He didn't feel confident confronting the older boy about the elephant in the room but he was desperate to close any distance between them. He didn't want secrets and resentment, he wanted trust and love. Richard's expression softened and his gaze jumped to the closed laptop, "I-You're observant, huh Dami?" he joked.
Damian crossed his arms and tried to soften the glare that came too naturally. Richard sighed and ran a hand over his hair to rest on his neck. He squeezed his nape tightly before letting go and Damian couldn't help but track the strange action, "I'm sorry Damian. I'll be alright. It means a lot to me that you care enough to ask"
"Everyone cares" Damian responded.
Richard nodded, "I know, but I also know it takes a lot for you to be blunt and transparent about something emotionally driven. It makes me feel good that I was able to spur that"
Something about Richard made Damian feel out of place, like Richard was feeling and finally accepting that he was in his early twenties but Damian was now the one in denial. Richard reached out and dragged Damian closer. He engulfed him in a large hug, ignoring Damian's crossed arms. He started to sway them and Damian had to clench his jaw and blink furiously to fight the hot wet sensation building behind his eyes. It felt so much like nothing had ever happened, like Todd was the only tragedy in their family, but even that had been resolved. He felt 11 and not 16 and he hated how much he wished that Richard had never been harmed-never been tainted by anguish. He wished that they were in the past again and that Damian had more time to enjoy more peaceful moments with his family. He knew it was a severe way of putting it but looking back at all his fighting and struggling and attempts to hurt others made him feel like he squandered his time with his family; especially his oldest brother.
It was so cliche to admit, but if Damian knew that he'd lose 5 years with his brother, he would have put much more effort into being present and responsive. He knew it was pointless to voice it because his mother never humored emotions beyond rage and his father and Richard would remind him that he was a child and anything he needed to feel was a while, Damian let Richard rock them, shifting from foot to foot. Eventually, the balls of his feet started to ache but he never spoke up, too desperate for more good memories to drown out the sorrow.
"We're not going to the movies in 2 weeks are we?" Richard asked eventually. Damian shook his head but he knew Richard understood him. He said nothing but gripped Daian tighter and rested his chin on top of his dark locks.
Later that day found everyone and Dr. Leslie in the foyer and living room. Canary had stopped by but after a private conversation with Bruce, had left claiming an emergency had come up.
"How have you been Dick?" Leslie asked. Her attention was on her cup of tea as she asked. Dick pulled his attention away from his brothers. He shifted to face the family doctor, trying not to be rude, and turned away from her. He wasn't in the mood for conversation, he wanted to sit and relax and watch everyone else.
"Good," he said simply.
She looked at him and grinned, "Good, I'm glad to hear it. Your brothers aren't running you ragged?"
Dick chuckled, "Naw, they're fine"
She leaned back, "I know I've rarely acted as a certified therapist, more of an on-call doctor, but the number of times you've forced Bruce to call me because one of them" she gestured casually to Tim, Jason, and Damian, "Were hurt is pretty comical"
Dick grinned sheepishly, "Yeaaaa, Jay used to call me a mother hen"
"You were" Jason snapped from where he was hearing snippets, "The lamest teenager ever"
"Be real" Tim said, "Dick was flipping off everything at parties, people loved him" Jason grumbled in response.
"Dr. Leslie" Dick hesitated, "This might be a weird question, but you never had a partner, right?"
She blinked, startled, "I was married, but we're estranged now"
Dick shook his head, "No, I mean kind of like for a work"
"I've worked with many other doctors before on cases for GCPD, and the hospital, but never here. I've been the solitary family doctor for the Waynes"
Dick nodded and his gaze become a little distant as if he was lost in thought.
"What sparked this?" Leslie inquired.
Dick shrugged, "Nothing really"
She looked at him knowingly, "Really? Nothing?"
Dick nodded before shrugging again, "I must have met or heard something somewhere but I was so sure I knew a Dr. Amanik. I thought it must've been through you" he explained, "It's probably just something from all those CPS cases Bruce had to deal with when I was 8 and 9"
He leaned back against the couch, trying not to let it show how deeply he was thinking about this. Leslie let it go and leaned back. She almost opened her mouth to respond when Alfred stepped in, "Dinner is ready" he announced. At once, all the boys sprung to their feet and made their way into the kitchen. Leslie stood and looked apologetically to Alfred, "I'm sorry Alfred, I have a massive load of paperwork I have to get a handle on before the weekend, I'd love to stay next time though"
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Doctor, I'll walk you out"
As she turned, she shot Bruce the sharpest look she could manage and he stiffened instantly, "No need Alfred, I'll walk Leslie out"
Leslie grabbed her coat and pulled her arms through while Bruce grabbed some shoes. She spied the boys sitting down at the table, talking and teasing each other. Damian sat across from Dick and Dick sat beside Jason. Jason was leaning away from Dick's side and Dick had a mischievous grin on his face. He said something back and reached for a cup of juice. Despite the fact that Alfred rarely ate with the family, and the boys were already served a full placate each, she couldn't help but notice how Dick didn't reach for any food without Alfred and Bruce present; the other boys followed his lead, talking and drinking while they waited. Bruce opened the front door, startling Leslie. She made her way out and down to the roundabout driveway. She was so sick of having to be driven to the main parking way closer to the front gates that Bruce had given in and installed a roundabout driveway for her to pull up to. Silently they made their way to her car and stopped. She knew Bruce had felt the urgency and severity in her look. She wasn't sure if he was giving her time to gather her thoughts or was just as hesitant to find out what may have bothered her.
She forced it out, "I think I know the doctor Dick was talking about"
Bruce's figure stiffened but he tried to hide it, "What?"
"Dick asked me if I knew a Dr. Amanik. He tried to act as if he heard the name somewhere else-and that might be true-the part about him being uncertain, but he wasn't giving me the full story either"
"Just now?" Bruce confirmed, his expression darkening by the second. She could practically feel the storm clouds gathering above them. She nodded.
"Amanik's name shows up on almost every official medical document in Dick's folder from the Court of Owls; others too but he seemed to hold a primary position where Dick was concerned….You know him?"
"Knew him" she corrected, "And I might be wrong but I did work with a Rashul Amanik while I was employed by LexCorp"
Bruce shot her an aggravated expression, "Don't look at me like that, you know I'm a contracted medical professional. I did a few years for LexCorp's largest city clinic and headed a few diabetes and young developmental programs with Dr. Amanik" She looked out past the driveway, "Eventually my contract was up and I was so busy with you and the boys at night and on the weekends that I chose not to renew. After that, I never heard about him ever again"
"He never reached out? Did you end on bad terms?"
"No Bruce, listen to my words" she stressed.
His frown deepened, "No one ever heard from him again? Is there a missing persons report? He can't be missing without even a cover-up"
She shrugged, "I don't know much else besides that but I do know that I didn't vouch for him when other organizations or boards asked for him" She waved her hand, "Medical references and stuff you know?"
Bruce took the bait, "Why?"
Her expression matched his, "I never confirmed it but he had a long severe history of being reported to the agencies and heads of boards of health centers or hospitals he worked at. Most FQHCs wouldn't even interview him despite his skills. I just never wanted any part of that, rumor or not"
Bruce sighed and placed his hands in his pockets, "You think this might be the same doctor and that Lex hired him and hid him away so he could exploit the methods that kept getting him in trouble"
Leslie felt uncertain agreeing with such a blatant statement but nodded, "I don't know much and this might lead you nowhere but I find it hard to believe that he disappeared the same name shows up-"
"No, no you're right. Probably right" Bruce sighed heavily, "We've already found traces linking William Cobb, Lydia Rylander, and Luthor"
Leslie blinked in surprise, "Damn" she breathed. Bruce agreed.
"You don't think-"
"That he was part of the reason why Dick was subjected to experimentation and is now something we can't classify?"
His eyes held a darkness that only seemed to intensify, "He'd better hope I'm wrong"
"It could be a coincidence, I don't want to send you down a rabbit hole Bruce"
He gave her an unreadable look, "Nothing is a coincidence" he stated.
She pulled her keys from her purse, "I'll send you everything I have on him-which isn't much but that might be because I can't read documents like you and Tim can" Bruce nodded appreciatively.
"Dick does seem to be doing better" she added, "It was smart not to rush him. Eventually, things will compound like last time and you'll have a mess on your hands but until his other memories start to surface, let him re-familiarize himself in his own way"
Bruce nodded, but she could see his mind was elsewhere. Most likely running miles around the new connection she'd brought to light. After Bruce made his way back inside, he was surprised to find the kitchen empty. Alfred was wrapping plates of food when he noticed, "I was about to send out an amber alert, Master Bruce" Alfrred said dryly.
"I wasn't gone that long, Leslie had some new information"
Alfred nodded as he moved on to the next plate. Bruce scowled, "Amber alerts are for children"
Alfred gave him a flat look. Bruce sighed, "Where are the boys?"
Alfre crossed the kitchen, "They've made their way downstairs, I believe Master Damian successfully instigated an old argument with Master Jason, who was all too pleased to accept a challenge". Alfred made his way over to Bruce and handed him a plastic bowl filled with crackers slamis strips, and green grapes. The boys had all decided green was the best grape long ago. Bruce smiled tiredly getting the message, "We'll be back up to finish dinner soon. I'm assuming they have some energy they want to burn off"
Alfred's gaze softened, "We all do. No matter how great it might feel to have all members of this family back under one roof; no one has been able to decompress and relax well enough, not since Master Dick was 17 at least"
Bruce agreed. He lived in a perpetual state of tense readiness but his boys had started to grow into that lifestyle more and more. There was forever an underlying tension and passiveness that made communicating and recuperation very difficult at times. He accepted the bowl and made his way downstairs to the cave. Instantly he heard the clothing and the sounds of soft smacking against the matts. He expected to find Damian trying to pin Jason to the sparring mats for the 3rd time this week but was surprised when he spotted Dick and Jason. Bruce felt an icy wave wash over his shoulder and back as he watched his boys wrestle. They were playing but using legitimate grappling moves to combat the other. Bruce realized he was having an out-of-body experience as he watched his 2 oldest sons roll around and try to force the other's submission, but he couldn't find it in himself to stop staring. Jason was always more muscularly built, even when all he had were prepubescent kids running around with stick arms and metabolisms faster than the flash. Around 15, Jason started to sprout incredibly fast and eat just as much. That coupled with his nighttime activities led to easy rumors in the Gotham Gazette that Bruce was feeding his street orphaned son steroids to get him into the Olympics. Jason did have some troubling times in middle school where the combination of his strength, fighting skills, and anger led to too many suspensions, but overall Jason grew into his physique well.
Jason smirked as he used his weight to pin Dick to the floor. His gasp was cut off as Dick spread his legs into a split and pinned Jason's left arm between his thigh and captured his right leg between his calf and thigh, forcing Jason to bend at an odd angle with his back bent. Dick cackled an exaggerated villainous laugh watching Jason curse and struggle. Damian rooted for Dick not to release him.
"Don't give in Richard" Damian coached, "Avenge me"
Dick tilted his head backward, to Damian and beamed but his movement caused a distraction and let Jason wiggle his arm free. He stabbed his fingers straight into Dick's bared neck forcing him to choke and let go in surprise. Dick fought for breath while summer-salting away in a panic. Jason couldn't seem to get a firm grip on any body parts so he launched himself onto Dick, squashing him and reigniting their wrestle. Bruce couldn't contain the amusement that flitted through him. It was hard not to imagine 2 young boys in Robin uniforms, wrestling and complaining about school. Seeing Dick so close to Jason made Bruce feel like he was watching someone new masquerading as Dick and pretending to fight. He was much larger than anyone would have anticipated him growing to be. When Bruce first saw the Flying Graysons he wasn't shocked to see how tall they were. The tallest, John Grayson towered over Mary and his son at just 5 foot 8. It was understandable as tall gymnasts didn't live long. They needed to be lithe and limber to enact the maneuvers they wanted to. Dick used to tell Tim that he didn't care about being tall he just wanted to be short enough for the wind to carry him.
Grown Richard Grayson was heads above his parents and Bruce wasn't sure if he could blame that on a superb upbringing and diet or his own failings for letting criminals experiment with his son's genetics. Dick was well over 6 feet and held far more muscle than appropriate for someone whose past time was bending into odd angles; still, he managed it quite was confident that amongst the compounding drug profiles he'd pulled from Dick's bloodstream were blackmarket or lesser-known steroids for muscle retention. Even stranger diets of all red meat couldn't bulk up his son as quickly as the C\ourt's chemicals could. Dick's shoulders and lower body had always been exceedingly strong and sculpted but his waist was no longer as tapered and his neck and forearms looked ready for a fight all the time.
Bruce knew it was superficial to base a preference on hair but he severely missed longer hair on Dick. It was growing out but the short-cropped, shaven look suited someone like Jason or Damian much more in his mind. Tim and Dick were always soft souls; the first ones to offer to help before really knowing the situation. The shaven, close-cut look seemed to sharpen Dick's jawline and add an edge to his eyes and lips that he always seemed to leave on the field. Bruce watched his boys wrestle some more as he thought over how to proceed. If he didn't force another option they would continue to skirt around most subjects and people until Dick came to his sense, hopefully not as discombobulated as last time. He saw Dick wrap his entire body around Jason as he stood and tried to throw Dick off with momentum alone. Dick wrapped his legs around Jason's underarm and neck before letting his torso hang free. Let his arms go and threw them around in a circle until Jason was stumbling; led by Dick's torso and trapped by his thighs. No matter how much he wanted to ignore it or fall blind to the changes, he couldn't help but notice how Dick's gaze never gave 100% of his attention to Jason. His eyes flicked about the room constantly. With every turn, he glanced at Tim, then Damian. With every roll or flip he scanned the far weapons rack and indoor garage. His son was scanning for threats, even in the midst of a playfight with his brothers. His attacks were being pulled too. Bruce saw how every punch and grab was overly flexed as if Dick was putting more effort into restraining himself than he was actually winning against Jason. His forearms bulged and he continuously clenched his hands to keep from forcing a clawed movement with his fingers. Bruce saw the internal struggle Dickw was waging with his learned behavior, he wondered if Dick felt it as well.
At last, Jason gave up, slumping down suddenly and pulling Dick down from the awkward hold his left calf had around Jason's right thigh. As soon as it was apparent that Jason was done, Dick let himself slump as well. Never one to gloat or flaunt his winning position for long. For a few minutes, no one said anything and Bruce realized his boys didn't know he was watching from the top of the stairwell. Tim and Damian were quiet and content, watching their older brothers pant and temper themselves. Dick shifted slightly, catching his breath although there wasn't a sheen of sweat across his brow like there was on Jason, "You almost got me there Lincoln"
Despite the calmness and quiet of the cave, the silence seemed to grow louder and much more obvious. Bruce saw the way Dick tensed violently. He stared up at the ceiling firmly as if praying he hadn't actually just said that. Bruce wondered if Dick knew the mistake he'd made or just that he'd caused some sort of disruption again.
"Dick-"
Dick scrambled to his feet, ignoring Jason's hyper-fixated look, "I'll see you guys later, ok?"
"It's basically midnight," Tim said. He and Damian were also watching Dick like hawks. Bruce could feel the bats watching them as well.
"Oh uh, yeah then tomorrow. I'll see you guys tomorrow" he wasn't even done speaking before he was making a quick escape. His head was down and his cheeks were inflamed and red. The moment he got to the first step he froze and jerked up to see Bruce there. His eyes burned a murky color and Bruce suspected that an orange, gold hue was moments away from being the primary color of his irises. His lips thinned and Bruce wasn't sure if his presence had embarrassed his son or angered him. He sped up the stairs, his footsteps light and nonexistent, and around Bruce before making his way upstairs through the grandfather clock. Bruce turned back to the mats to see his sons watching him as well.
"I'll go," Damian said firmly as he got to his feet.
Bruce put a hand up, "No Damian, I will. Thank you though"
Damon opened his mouth but Jason shot him a look, "Let him do some work around here for once" he murmured.
Bruce didn't want his sons to think that parenting each other was a brotherly duty. He was still their parent and would offer comfort and support however he could. He also wanted to prevent another Dick-related emotional syndrome from forming in Damian as the younger boy often took to checking on Dick first and most frequently. An ironic mirroring of how Dick treated an unwelcoming Damian in the very beginning.
"Dick?" Bruce knocked softly on the bedroom door.
No response.
"Dick?"
He raised his voice in case his oldest was on the roof again.
"Dick!" he called as politely and loud as he could.
"I'm here!" Dick snapped back, "Now leave me alone"
Bruce opened the door slowly, letting Dick know he was coming in. His oldest was against the far wall with his knees pulled up to his chest. He sat directly below the open window, letting the moonlight touch everything but him. Dick's eyes were red-rimmed and watery but he hadn't cried yet. Bruce felt his chest pinch at the fact that Dick was trying to be strong in his own home, in his own room. Dick sent him a scathing look as Bruce slowly forced his way in. Bruce smiled slightly and made his way over to Dick's side. He made to sit on the bed right beside him but chose to make do on the floor at the last minute. He eased down beside Dick, letting their shoulders touch briefly, and splayed his legs out. For a while, no one spoke until Dick took a shuddering breath, "I'm not alright, am I?"
Bruce tried not to look at Dick lest he break his own composure, "Of course you are-"
"Don't lie Bruce" Dick snapped venomously. Bruce resisted the urge to wince at the tone Dick only ever used with criminals, "I'm not" Bruce amended. You are healing, adjusting" he placated, "But you're alright" he reached out for his oldest's hand and ran a soothing thumb over the pulse on the underside of his wrist, "And you're going to be alright too"
Dick thumped his head backward against the wall, "My dreams and these snippets-these flashes of people and things I keep having", He took another calming breath, "I can't seem to get away from it and everyone is so ready to act like nothing's wrong" his voice seemed to chip at the end.
"We aren't trying to keep you in the dark, Dick'
"Bullshit. I know I'm missing time, missing a lot more than that but no one is telling me what's wrong, no one is actually trying to help me"
"You know what's wrong?"
Dick didn't answer for a while, "I don't know what's wrong but I know something is. Leslie and Dinah are over for lunch like every other day and I say something at least once a day that makes everyone freak, and try to act cool and-" he slumped back, pulling his hand away from Bruce's grasp, "My body doesn't feel like my own and I can't tell if I'm remembering something that's not true or if my mind is fucked and making stuff up"
"I was in an accident wasn't I? Was it that bad that you guys are walking on eggshells around me?"
Bruce didn't reply. Choosing to watch Dick fiddle with his cuticles in his periphery. Dick scoffed, "Of course" he muttered, "No one would ever keep something from you or Jason and your guys' tempers. No one can hide anything for long from Tim but let's just keep Dick in the dark about something that affects him more directly than anybody else!"
"Dick, it's not like that"
"It's exactly like that" Dick growled, "I don't know if it's respect or base value or what, but you don't care enough to tell me the truth" he folded his arms, "No wonder half the Justice League hates you"
Bruce was having trouble not imagining a 17-year-old Dick with the way he was communicating. Bringing up valid points in such an immature and tempermental way. Even though Jason was the most volatile out of all his children, Dick was the sharpest knife in the drawer because he had the greatest capability to hurt those around him if he chose to; but rarely did.
"Dick, you need to trust me when I say that this is all to help you heal. We are taking this slow and steady so that you heal at your own pace"
Dicks scoffed again, "At my own pace" he mocked, "I choose what my own pace is Bruce, but I can't do that when you're controlling all the information I receive"
For a long time, they sat in tense silence, listening to the wind outside, sometimes it blew fast and cold-emitting a whistle while other times it calmed and tickled the pine trees out back, "Can you tell me anything? Please"
Bruce felt his heart crack at Dick's pleading tone. His son was lost and distressed and obviously felt abandoned by Bruce. He should've kept a better handle on phones and news so that Dick didn't clue into anything before he was ready. "I know I died," Dick said quietly.
Brue jolted and looked at Dick but he was watching the floor, "I found a ton of articles about my funeral. Was it a mission gone wrong? Was I undercover too long?"
Towards the end, Dick's tone fell into a pleading timber again and Bruce almost gave in, almost took him by the hand, and brought him to the cave to see all the evidence and atrocities committed against him and other children from Haley's Circus.
"Bruce" Dick implored, "Those articles are almost 6 years old. I…What's wrong with me?" His hands came up to tug at his hair, "Did I do something? Did I-"
"No Dick, no none of this is your fault"
"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong with me? I feel like I'm going crazy! Everyone looks older and apparently, there are new Young Justice members I don't know about and Leslie watches everything I do and Damian is worrying about me and it's getting to the point where I'm actually scared Bruce. I have no idea what's going on and everyone else seems to"
"Dick, you need to trust me when I sa-"
"Oh fuck you Bruce" Dick shoved himself to his feet and clambered out the window sill behind them.
"Dick? Dick!" Brue barked as Dick left the window. He pushed to his feet just as Dick slammed the window down in his face, his own face marred with resentment. Bruce watched as Dick gave him the bird before crouching and walking to the end of the rooftop. Bruce was seconds away from opening the window and following Dick when he saw him stop at the edge and sit down. Bruce watched his son's straight stiff back slowly start to decompress until he was slumped forward, kicking his legs forlonely. Bruce felt an invisible string tug at his fingers, urging him to go to his son and tell him everything and anything. Even if it was a lie, his heart was desperate for Dick to stop looking at Bruce with resentment and anguish in his eyes. He was desperate for smile lines, not furious tears. He forced a deep breath instead, knowing that he'd promised Leslie to let things manage themselves in their own times-he'd promised her he wouldn't push Dick, wouldn't present all the horrible facts in an effort to draw out the hidden truth about Dick's captivity.
Bruce knew the conversation was over for now and backed away. He'd have to ask Damian or Tim to open their bedroom windows, or make sure Dick's was open before bed. Half the time, Damian spent the night with Dick in his bedroom so Damian would most likely be in soon anyway.