Elida stood stoically on the raised platform of the Vee Tower meeting room, her face blank and unreadable. She was incredibly nervous. She knew what she needed to do, but it wouldn't be pleasant. Alastor, bless his smiling heart, was pretending not to be just as apprehensive as she was. He stood beside her, put on his usual deceptive grin, and waited for their guests to arrive. She took passive notice of how often he sent odd glances toward her father, who for his own part, was being super weird and jittery.
Her dad sat with the Coven, who seemed to have adopted him as a pet. He listened patiently while one of the witches went on and on about a new spell she was writing. Meanwhile, he kept glancing nervously up at Elida and giving Alastor the side-eye. Still, if he had something to say, he'd have to tell her himself, because she didn't have time for riddle games.
"How's my hair?" She asked Alastor while she adjusted her glittering shawl.
"It goes without saying, dearest," he told her with a confident grin, "but you are now and always the most ravishing creature I have ever had the honor of seeing. You don't have a single hair out of place, but if somehow one were to stray, it would only add texture to the masterful painting that is your silhouette."
Despite her somber mood, his flowery words broke her blank face into a deep, grinning blush. She smiled at the floor. If she survived this, she was going to miss him more than anything. At least she would always have his letter. She had already cast a spell of protection over it so that it would never be lost or damaged. It sat in her jacket pocket, right next to her heart where it belonged.
"What does a girl even say to that?" she asked, trying not to melt into the floor while the war council trickled in.
"Silence or poetry, it's all the same to me," he said. "So long as I can see that radiant smile of yours."
She barely managed to regain her composure as the cannibals arrived. Rosie nodded to them while she took her seat. Poor Shakespie looked hungover. He sipped at a thermos and struggled to keep from slouching. Elida noticed his shirt buttons were askew, so she subtly cast a spell to put them right. She was amazed he managed to show up at all, considering the state she'd found him in the night prior.
One by one, guests filed in. The overlords and Hazbins all expected each other, but when Lucifer and his Seven Sins showed up, the place broke out into a fit of whispers. Lucifer ignored the impressed and fangirling demons, instead walking up to the stage and shaking Elida's hand. She fought the urge to give the sweet man a big squeez-y hug. Today was all about business.
Shockingly, Lucifer shook Alastor's hand as well. They may have glared a little harder at each other than strictly necessary, but they still pretended to get along for a moment or two before the King of Hell moved to sit down beside his daughter.
If the King and his Sins caused a stir, it did nothing compared to the gasps and shock of seeing a long parade of angels flood the room. Not only had Marcel and the original Hazbins shown up, but they brought the entirety of Redemption City, the soulmates, and several angels who had been writing back and forth with their demonic friends and family. Angel after angel flooded the room, mixing in with the rest of the crowd. Cruci brought up the rear, having successfully smuggled them in through the Grey Area portal.
The demons who knew them rushed forward, embracing their loved ones in a reunion that was both eclectic and heartwarming. The noise in the room rose to an excited din of greetings and cheers. Meanwhile, the demons who didn't know them were more than a little apprehensive having so many divine human souls in the room with them.
Aerwyna spotted Shakespie almost immediately, her face lighting up in delight at seeing him still alive. Well… as alive as any dead, badly hungover gentleman could be. He was too busy staring aimlessly into the void to see her walk in, so when she swam up and wrapped him in a big, enthusiastic hug, he yelped in surprise.
"Ah! What is-" He suddenly realized who she was, "Oh! Angelfish!" He set his thermos down and hugged her back, feeling far lighter than he had a moment ago. "I don't mean to sound rude, but what in the seven Hells are you doing down here outside the Grey Area?"
"Cruci escorted us here so that we could join the meeting," Aerwyna explained. "You won't believe what I found out!"
"Have you b-"
She interrupted the poor sharp-toothed man with a passionate kiss, yanking on his jacket and holding him helplessly in place. He didn't resist. When she pulled away, he was grinning like an idiot again, just like he did whenever she tricked him into forgetting he was supposed to be all clean and proper.
Once she was sure everyone had arrived, Elida's sweet, melodic voice cut cleanly through the crowd as she spoke into her little blue wand, "Attention everyone, please find your seats. We will begin in precisely three minutes."
Alastor didn't let it show on his face, but he found the thick crowd incredibly concerning. He leaned in to whisper in his lover's ear, "Why are they all here? The Seraphim will notice this many people suddenly disappearing, especially from Redemption City. And what of the exorcists? They're sure to be watching."
Keeping her own face just as controlled as his, she whispered back, "There's one angel missing. Can you guess who it is?"
Alastor scanned the crowd but couldn't pinpoint anyone that could possibly be involved who wasn't already there. "Who is it?"
"Your mother," Elida said quietly. "You aren't the only powerful voodoo practitioner around. I figured you wouldn't want her to come down here. But she would be pissed if we didn't let her help, so I asked if she would be able to hide the fact that everyone is gone for a day, and she said she'd handle it. She'll keep the Seraphim off our trail while we get everyone briefed."
"How, pray tell, do you expect her to do that?"
"That's a question for Mama," Elida said unhelpfully.
Alastor didn't like his mother being involved at all, but Elida was right; Mama would be livid if she was left out of something this important. He considered what she could possibly do to hide this many missing angels. Redemption City had grown tenfold over time. The room was packed with them. His mom was powerful, but still only one person. However, if she said she could handle it, she could handle it. Alastor's intellect had to come from somewhere, and Heaven knew it wasn't his pathetic father.
"Missster Alastor, sir?" Pentious said, slithering up to the Radio Demon with something in his hand. "Before we begin, I have ssomething for you."
Alastor looked at him with his signature grin, not bothering to respond. Sir Pentious pulled a shining object from his pocket, holding it out.
"It iss not much, but before things get too hectic, I wanted to thank you. I know we may not be incredibly closse, but you have protected and cared for mysself and our friendss for a long time now. I am sure thingss will get worse before they are over, so in casse we do not have the pleasure of meeting again in the coming days, I have made thiss for you."
He handed Alastor a beautiful pocket watch, finely crafted from angelic steel and polished to a shine. The face was circled with a crown of rubies, and the back was engraved with an image of one of Alastor's radios. Etched along the edge in a fine red calligraphy were the words, 'For the Father of The Redeemed: Time will not diminish the gratitude we feel for what you have done for us. Without you, we would not have survived to see paradise. Our souls are in your debt.'
It was nothing less than a masterful work of art.
"My, what lovely craftsmanship," Alastor complimented politely. He wasn't sure what else to say about it, so he clipped the chain to his vest button and placed the watch in his pocket. It added an elegant touch to his ensemble that suited him well. "You've come far from that clumsy war machine."
"It'ss amazing what how much one can improve on their work when they are not consstantly going from battle to battle," Pentious agreed.
"Pen, sweetheart," Elida softly interrupted, "it's time to begin. Why don't you go sit with Cherri? She's saving you a spot."
"Yess, of course," he nodded, waving awkwardly before flying over the crowd to get to his seat.
Alastor tapped on his staff, cleared his throat to get everyone's attention, and said, "Quiet down, please." When the chatter died down and everyone's eyes were facing forward, he began.
"You all know Ambassador McCarthy, assistant to the Princess of Hell, overlord of this corner of the pentagram, owner of Positivity Potions and Voxtek, and respected member of the witches' Coven. There is also not a soul in this room who is unacquainted with me, so I will spare you the bore of my own titles."
He reached a hand upward, sending magic spreading through the room. A thick black mist spread out, sparkled with tiny green symbols. The symbols floated through the air, attaching to the lips of everyone in attendance. They changed and warped to appear as stitches, only to fade into everyone's skin and disappear.
"As I'm sure you're already aware, the subject of today's meeting is highly classified, despite the large crowd. This spell will ensure that no one can spread information to the enemy, whether by intention or accident. Should any of you attempt to speak about anything we discuss today in the presence of someone who was not here, your lips will be bound shut. This extends to listening devices, regardless of if you know they are there or not."
"I would recommend," he added, "that if you find your words unexpectedly silenced, you either change subjects, or intentionally spread misinformation regarding our plans here today. Particularly those who will be returning to Heaven's gates after this. The fate of countless souls will rest on the plans discussed today. If you do not wish to be burdened with this knowledge, now is your chance to leave."
Alastor stood there for a moment, but no one moved to leave. When it was clear everyone consented to stay, Alastor finished with, "Very well. I will turn the time over to Miss McCarthy." He stepped aside and winked, "Give 'em Hell, doll-face."
Elida allowed herself a minor breech of etiquette by kissing his cheek. She stifled a smug smirk at the way his face went just a little bit red, even if his smile remained stable for the crowd. Gathering her nerves, she spoke clearly into her wand, "Good afternoon esteemed guests. You all know why we're here, so I won't mince my words."
She took a deep breath, heart pounding with anxiety. "The war we've been trying to avoid is here. The exorcists have drawn a line in the sand, and for reasons I won't get into, we're unable to appease their demands. When we don't, they intend to come down here and perform a massacre the likes of which none of us have ever seen. Whether the Seraphim have sanctioned this or not is unknown."
Apprehensive whispers rose through the crowd, and Elida gave them all a moment to process. This wasn't news to everyone, but it was still hard to hear.
After a moment, she kept going. "I know those of you who live here are afraid for yourselves, and those of you who care about Hell's residents are afraid for the people you love. But it's not all doom and gloom." Elida cast a spell, creating vibrant and glittering holographic illusions, illustrating key moments in her time with the demons. The visuals weren't strictly speaking needed, but the beauty of them created a sense of control and awe among her audience that helped focus her words.
"From the moment I learned of the exterminations, a term I personally find abhorrent and dehumanizing, I've been working on a backup plan. I had hoped Princess Charlie's hotel would be the proof Heaven needed to stop the genocides, but despite its clear success, some peoples' minds simply cannot be changed."
She turned to Alastor with naked adoration in her eyes. "The Radio Demon has known about this plan for a while already. Despite his ruthless reputation, he's proven to be a stalwart and trustworthy partner. He's done more for all of you than anyone here knows. I would go so far as to say the number of people he's helped has risen above the number of people he ever hurt." Turning back to the crowd she continued, "Now that this plan has grown from an idea to a strategy, I'm ready to share some of the details."
Alastor spoke up, "Snyder, would you join us, please?"
It wasn't technically a command. Snyder could have stayed put. But he broke into a swarm of paper planes and fluttered up to the stage anyway, reassembling himself into his ink-covered human shape.
While he did so, Elida said, "Vees, you too." That was less optional, so even if they'd wanted to protest, they couldn't have.
Snyder took a puff of his signature money-cigar. "Whaddya got planned now and why am I part of it?"
To answer, Elida addressed the entire room. "As I'm sure most of you have already noticed, those of us on the stage represent all of the major media giants in Hell. We have radio, television, social media, film, and the newspapers. Immediately after this meeting, we'll begin preparations for phase one of my failsafe plan. Alastor, would you like to explain?"
"As you wish," he agreed with a wide grin. He stepped forward. "Having been a radio host for nearly a century now, I think it is fair to say I know what I am doing. I know the ins and outs of my domain better than most souls. My colleagues here are also at the top of their respective fields. What they lack in mental acuity-"
Valentino interrupted, "Why you furry little-"
Val was cut off by Elida revealing his soul's chain and holding him back from punching the Radio Demon. "Apologize," she demanded calmly.
His face flushed with anger and embarrassment. His next words were quiet and subdued, "Sorry, Mistress…" His wings fluttered ever so slightly at his frustration, but he made no further displays of defiance.
Callum frowned deeply at this interaction, but Alastor continued like nothing happened. "What they lack in mental acuity, they make up for in expertise for their craft. That's why we'll be the ones handling step one; Because the first thing we'll be doing is letting the cat out of the bag."
"The fuck d'ya mean?" Snyder asked.
"Well old pal, I'm so glad you asked!" Alastor said cheerfully. "What many demons aren't aware of, is that the majority of Heaven's angels don't know a thing about the exorcists, or their annual excursions of violence. So, we're going to tell them!"
"Just what is that supposed to accomplish?" Velvette questioned, typing something on her phone. She took a selfie of herself in front of the crowd.
"The idea is to soften the enemy up from the inside," Elida explained. "Demons are used to only seeing the most ruthless and violent people that Heaven has to offer, but not everyone up there is cruel and sadistic. Otherwise, there would be no point in separating Heaven and Hell."
"By letting the secret out to every citizen in Heaven, it'll set in motion a level of civil unrest that will significantly disrupt the exorcists' plans. If we're lucky, it could stop them altogether. Every human rights activist, moral idealist, and empathetic heart will protest against the exterminations. It will add a level of accountability that the exorcists have never seen before, and they'll be forced to either stop or fight the protestors."
Alastor added, "It will also force the Seraphim to acknowledge that they allowed this to happen, and the citizens' trust in their caretakers will be all but lost."
A certain mermaid floated high enough to be seen above the crowd, waving her hand in the air. She glowed excitedly.
"Yes, honey?" Elida gestured for Aerwyna to come onstage with them. She handed her the wand.
"Speaking of the separation between our realms," she began, "I think I might be able to help find some clarification on that." She turned to look at Shakespie, who smiled affectionately at her. "I'm not sure how best to lead up to this, so I'll just say it; I figured out who's in charge of divine judgement."
That got a reaction. Once again, the crowd whispered to each other, muttering in surprise and disbelief. Elida couldn't help but notice Lucifer shrinking a bit in his chair, as if he were trying to hide from Aerwyna's next words.
"Go on," Alastor encouraged.
Pulling a folded-up paper from a small pouch that had been hidden among her many beads and shells, Aerwyna opened it up and showed Alastor. He adjusted his monocle and stared at the ancient writing.
She described it to the room, "I found this excerpt in an old book about the Earth's creation. It was in a journal written by one of the Seraphim way back when Lucifer gave Eve the apple. It's in Latin, but being a scientist, I've studied Latin for decades. I had no trouble reading it. It talks about an argument between two brothers."
Elida lifted a few feet into the air and peeked at the paper over Alastor's shoulder. "What kind of argument?"
"The first brother was angry because the second did something that saddled him with a job he didn't want. He'll be stuck with it until the apocalypse, which means he's still doing it right now."
"The divine judge," Elida said, understanding. Lucifer was pulling the sides of his hat down, trying to cover his face. All it did was make him look conspicuous.
"Exactly," Aerwyna nodded. "Other than angels that were kicked out of Heaven for whatever purpose or another, he's the reason we all ended up where we did. And he's the one who allowed all the Redeemed to ascend."
"Well, my dear, don't hold us in suspense," Alastor urged her onward. "Who is it?"
"Lucifer's twin brother," Aerwyna answered, "Michael."