Barbara was on a mission. A very important mission. A mission that her entire stay in Metropolis depended on. A mission of such great importance that there was a high chance that she was going to fail and never recover from it. "In conclusion... I'm the best employee you'll ever have!" Her first ever job interview! At her favorite restaurant chain in the whole world, Burrito Bucket!
"So you have no prior experience." The manager, Mr. O'Shaughnessy, glared at her as he looked over her resume.
"Uh, I've memorized the menu top to bottom and have eaten every one of them at least three hundred times in the past year."
"So you have no prior experience." He repeated. "And also it says you have ADHD. Will that be an issue whatsoever?
"Not at all! I never got lower than a B- in school!" Still took a little rough guessing to work on spelling out BABS on her report card.
"That is sadly the highest grade anyone here has gotten." The man mumbled.
"Glad to meet your expectations!" She could tell that they were going to get along great!
"Final question." He said. "All Metropolis businesses have to ask this at least once. How likely are you to abandon work hours when a crime is reported on the news?"
"..." Oh this was going to be a tough one. On the one hand, lying was a part of being a superhero with a secret ID. Who knows how much Batman lied to whatever job he did. On the other hand... this was to the burrito bucket, one of the most magical places on the planet! Could she really betray them like that? No, you were a superhero first! And as a superhero... You would compromise! "I used to live in Gotham. Crime is like the wind to me, everywhere and not special." Technically true and technically false.
"Great. You're hired." YES! SUCCESS! "Iruma, come in and show the new girl the ropes!" Wait wha-?
"Coming Mr. O'Shaughnessy." The familiar voice called out as Iruma came in, dressed in that adorable Burrito Bucket uniform. "Oh hey Barbara-"
"IRUMA!" She rushed in to hug her best friend.
"Wait, wait, slippery floors, watch the floors!"
SMACK
"... How come every time you hug me, I get a possible concussion?" He asked as they slammed into the refrigerator. "And why do I never dodge it?"
"Because you only dodge danger and I'm too lovable to be dangerous to you." Barbara grinned.
"...Fair enough." Iruma chuckled as he got them up.
"...I'm going to regret hiring her, aren't I?" The manager muttered under his breath.
"Only if you regret impressive work ethic for unrestrained positivity." Iruma nodded.
"...I hate positivity." The man muttered as he began walking back into his office.
"Wow, someone clearly ate the wrong side of a burrito this morning, am I right?" Barbara snorted as she embraced her BFFEAEAEA once again. "I can't believe it, you're working here! And I'm working here! Guess the construction job didn't last."
"No, I still have that one."
"Oh... then I guess we cost you your job at the dump then.."
"Actually now... turns out the manager was looking to clear out and replace the equipment you broke, so that actually earned me a raise." He smiled.
"Wait, you work at the dump and the construction crew?" Barbara asked.
"Yes."
"AND you also work here?"
"Yes."
"While going to school?"
"It's the only way to pay for tuition." He shrugged. "I looked into the 'destroyed by supervillain' budget thing the city has... ironically, turns out that's why the jails suck."
"... Aren't you going to overwork yourself at that rate?" She asked.
"Nah, I've been under MUCH more stressful situations. Being trapped on an island and getting eaten by a hydra is pretty similar to costumer service." Iruma shrugged. "Also there was the time the three of us were caught in that trivia game show by Cluemaster, cause he wanted to one up the Riddler."
"Oh yeah, that's when we finally convinced you to watch more movies with us cause of all the pop cultural references." Barbara grinned. "We gotta do that again."
"The movies or getting kidnapped by Cluemaster?"
"Either or." She nodded. "So what do we do first? Breakfast burrito, mega munch burrito, extra crispy and cheesy queso burrtio supreme?!"
"Depends, did you get kitchen duty or lobby duty?"
"I got... toilet cleaning!?" Babara looked at her duty list.
"The less I hear you singing praises, the better!" The manager shouted from his office.
"Aww, but I love burritos!"
"You love eating burritos. I've never seen you make them." Iruma pointed out.
"I know what goes in them! Fixing the things should be easy!"
"Do you even know how to work a fire?" Iruma asked.
"Of course I do." Lots of the chemicals she worked on required heat. "We can just switch duties-"
"Can't, Mr. O'Shaughnessy has a no compromise position on these things."
"I'm sure he's more reasonable than you think Iruma." She smiled as she walked to the door. "Oh-"
"If this is to ask for a different position, close the door before I give you toilet duty for the year." He said while looking at some papers.
"..." Barbara immediately took a step back. "Yeesh, he must've REALLY bit into a bad burrito. How have you dealt with it?"
"Doing what I'm told and not making a fuss." Iruma shrugged. "Here's a little lesson I've learned not just in the past seven years, but back when I was four... bosses are not necessarily your friends. You can be as nice as you want to them but they don't feel obligated to like you."
"But... I want everyone I work with to like me." She pouted.
"Then you got to work your way up to it. Literally." He nodded as he handed her the mop. "Just do what you're told and maybe he'll ease up and you'll work the food like I do."
"Got it! I'll be the best toilet cleaner in the world!" Barbara shouted as she raised her mighty mop up. "I will clean those stains, disinfect those molds, and plunge those toilets like no one's ever plunged before!" She ran into the room... and immediately came back coughing. "What HAPPENED in there!?"
"This is a burrito place... do you know what a burrito does to a stomach?" He asked. "Gas masks are in the back."
"How… how have you not died yet from that!?"
"I had practice from the bastard that shall not be named." Iruma grumbled, before shaking his head. "Anyways, it'll be touch and go, but as long as you don't do anything crazy, you should be fine."
"Right, not do anything crazy-robbery across the street!" Barbara pressed her face against the glass of the restaurant, where the bank was being robbed by two sky masks. "Iruma, cover for me!"
"Wait, Barbara, you're not-!" Barbara ducked into the bathroom, gagged, and instantly changed into Batgirl, and leapt out the window.
"Time to stop the criminal-!"
"Gordan, why don't I hear the sounds of disinfectant and mopping!?" Her boss shouted.
"Just using the powder room myself, I had a really big breakfast!" She shouted back.
"Well hurry up! Any dilly dallying is going to come out of your break and check!"
"Understood, Mr. O'Shaughnessy!" She shouted back as she looked at her watch. "Okay, no more than two minutes. That should be plenty of time to punch bad guys in the face." Dramatic speech, punching, slow motion batarang, and getaway drive. All in a day's work.
Jessica gently petted the bunny. "There there, it's alright little girl. Everything is just fine..." Rescued with a damaged leg... understandably paranoid the first day. "You're going to be taken care of, I promise." She was still uneasy about being a 'superhero', the idea of fighting just didn't sit right with her in any context. Luckily, in the moments where she wasn't 'Green Lantern', she was free to help save the world in a different way as Jessica Cruz.
Who needed to punch people in the face mindlessly when she could do something that REALLY matters, like tree planting, toxic waste disposal protesting, or her most favorite of all, volunteer animal shelter work. "Aww, she looks so cute." A little girl cooed.
"Careful now, Lila gets scared easily." Jessica warned. "Take a carrot, and let her sniff your hand slowly." Helping poor innocent animals get into homes when they never had the chance to have one… nothing filled Jessica's heart more. Maybe she could put the 'team' idea to good use and ask her new friends to help her out... Of course she'd have to make sure the 'gruffer' ones like Kara and Diana would be able to act gentle enough around handling creatures.
"Ewww, she's licking my finger." The girl giggled.
"That means she likes you." Jessica reassured. "Go on, try picking her up."
The girl slowly did so. "She's staring into my soul... mommy, can I keep her?" She asked a tall woman on the phone.
"I told you dear, if you made As for three months straight we'll get you one."
"It was just one F." The girl pouted, as Jessica felt the urge to assist.
"It was in science, where you said animals can eat whatever without consequence."...Now Jessica felt conflicted. On the one hand, she'd get a pet a new home… on the other, that home might accidentally end up killing the poor thing.
"I'll just... take her back." Jessica slowly pulled the shaking Lila out of the young girl's hands. "It's so hard to find good homes these days." Not to pull the 'this generation stinks' argument... but people were pretty irresponsible… which she was shown more and more given how much time she's had to spend with Hal Jordan in the past few months. John was pretty cool though.
"Okay, those were the lizards... onto the iguanas." She heard a familiar voice, turning her head to see a mop of blue hair walk around. "Got to make sure that buggy heat lamp is fixed. You don't want to end up cold in the middle of September, do you?"
"Iruma?" Jessica asked, both surprised... and a bit concerned, given what she previously experienced the boy doing when presented with small creatures… partially small prey most considered food… and he wasn't afraid of eating it raw, something that made her queasy to her stomach. "What are you doing here?"
"Working." He asked. "What about you Jessica?"
"Working…" Jessica blinked. "Did you lose your job at the junkyard?"
"Nah, I work multiple jobs." He nodded. "I'm more surprised you work here. Aren't you against eating meat?" He asked, placing a handful of dead flies in the iguana glass case.
"I admit, meat eating does give me... A little bit of nausea in general, but in animals' case, they're just following nature. Humans have the choice to not eat meat, animals don't." Jessica prepared her statement, ready to fight for her beliefs, given that this was usually the part where people shouted at her for being hypocrite.
"...Eh, to each one's own." Iruma shrugged.
"... Really?" She asked. "Usually people would argue more on that."
"I had a friend in Gotham that's just like you, but with plants rather than animals." He said. "She gets super uncomfortable whenever humans eat fruits and salads and stuff."
"Really?" She asked again. She understood wanting to protect plants, but to not eat any produce. "...That doesn't sound very healthy."
"Yeah. I didn't fully get it either, but she was passionate about keeping her plants safe and secure, I saw that passion, and I wanted to help it bloom. Hehe, pun." Iruma chuckled. "Just because you don't fully understand something doesn't mean you can't support it. Even if I see most animals as food, a lot of people see them as friends and people, so I do my best to help those people, like how right now I'm just feeding the animals." The boy smiled as the snake rattled its tail in excitement. "Here's a nice juicy rat, Justin."
The snake slowly gobbled up the creature, a large bulge appearing in its neck along with a content look on its face. "Hssssss."
"Aww, I know that makes you happy. Now you don't have to worry about eating for the next week or so." The boy rubbed the snake's head.
"You are oddly understanding of animals." Jessica observed. From what she's seen, Iruma kind of went back and forth between knowledgeable and naive on a dime, so what he was aware of always seemed to be in question.
"Animals used to hate me, but then I spent a year with gorillas and they really helped me get in touch with nature… that and taught me how to use a computer, but mostly the nature thing." See, that sentence alone was a contradiction of many… MANY things she wasn't sure she wanted to understand. "Plus… I know what it's like to go hungry." Iruma looked back to the snake and scratched it's chin. "At some point… seeing an animal feel the same pain I feel made me think back on a few things. If animals can feel the same pain I feel... What else can they feel?"
"… You're a very caring boy, you know that?" She asked with a smile.
"I try to be... made a lot of mistakes growing up." He sighed. "Trusted people that I shouldn't have. Even if.. Deep down, I still believe people can be good, no matter how bad they can be."
"I believe the same!" She smiled. Jessica was afraid she was the only one on this team that DIDN'T want to punch people for every escalated situation. "That's why I abhor violence, and believe in peaceful solutions. Most crimes could be stopped if we focused more money on helping the downtrodden and homeless, which results in less desperate people, which equals less criminals which results in less villains!"
"Exactly!" He shouted. "Do you think Robin Hood was right too?"
"Moreso in the sense that it was the right thing to rebel against a corrupted body of government that did nothing to help the people." Plus it was just a story, not like it entirely applied to life. "Overall, I firmly believe more problems can be solved by lending a hand rather than raising a fist."
"I really like that about you Jess." The boy smiled. "I wish you luck on your endeavors."
"Thank you." She never really got much support for her causes aside from her mother's. "You wouldn't happen to be in the mood for an organic plant based smoothie after work, would you?"
"I used to eat old banana peels back when I lived in Gotham, I don't have an issue eating plants." Iruma nodded with a grin.
"… Why do I feel like you need this shelter more than some of the animals?" It was disturbing just how much he spoke of these tragedies with ease.
"Eh, don't worry about it. I found the perfect place to live now that I have money of my own." He smiled. "I even managed to get a pillow… with real blankets instead of newspapers. Isn't that crazy?"
"… Yes..." Maybe she should slip a dollar or two into his pocket when he wasn't looking.
Zee cracked her knuckles, doing mental exercises as she turned to her new assistant. "Alright Iruma, do you remember what you're supposed to do?"
"Stand around and look cute while you show off various magic tricks on me?" The boy smiled gladly.
"First ten seconds and you're already following your lines well." Zee grinned, patting his head. She may have been skilled in magic, even perfecting her daddy's backward's spell technique, but some spells could only be shown in their true beauty when there was help around... It didn't hurt that said help was a supportive and cute boy. "Oh, and just for the added touch..." She waved her wand around. "Wohs siht rof xut fcefrep eht eituc eht evig!" She shouted, blasting the boy... "Huh, Charcoal Gray Performance Wool Suit with a clip on tie."
"I traveled the entire world, but tying a tie is the one skill I haven't perfected." He chuckled. "I can tie the gordian knot with twelve pieces of yarn and string cheese, but not a tie."
"That's why it pays to have a little magic in your life every now and again." ZatannaZatannaZatanna grinned as she breathed in and out. "Oh the butterflies never get any easier to get down. Birthday parties are always unpredictable, you never know what type of crowd you'll get."
"Wasn't that the same feeling you had when you performed in Gotham all those years ago?" Iruma asked.
"No, that was a stage performance. You knew the audience was going to be filled with a mix of genuine admirers of the art, true believers of magic... or hecklers." It was mostly hecklers. "Birthday parties are unpredictable because kids are more unpredictable and chaotic. One minute they're believing that angels grow their wings with every bell ring, and the next they're saying Santa doesn't exist..."
"He does exist… although he's a lot more militaristic than you think."
"And then the next thing you know they accidently wrote 'Satan' instead of 'Santa' and want me to summon the lord of the underworld to get their letter!" She growled out.
"Hell gray tea?" Iruma offered.
"Oooh, my favorite." ZatannaZatannaZatanna gladly accepted. "Oooh, it's still warm too." She took a sip.
"I keep a thermos nearby just in case of hypothermia." He nodded. Iruma was sweet… a red flag for social services cases, but sweet nonetheless.
"Anyway, the point is that it's just unpredictable chaos... which, we must be prepared and studious for." ZatannaZatannaZatanna nodded, shoving cue cards into Iruma's hand. "These are for just in case the show goes south and we need to improvise, and this is for if we accidentally summon Cthulhu from his prison, and this is for if we accidently show them how they will die."
"Really hope we don't do that last one. Spoilers are the worst." He said. "But you got this Zee. You were talented back then, and you're talented now."
"Awww, still a little flatter ten years later." Zee smiled. It was nice to have support for her talents, especially when it was not a part of her daddy's shows. "Okay Iruma, it's time, get on stage and introduce me."
"You got it, Zee." Iruma nodded as he walked out. "Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! This world is strange, but prepare for it to get a whole lot stranger and magical! Put your hands together for the spectacular Prestidigitation..."
"Yes, he actually said it right." Zee grinned.
"-For the one and only, spectacularly Fantabulous... Zee Zatara!"
She did a simple flash of light, moving the curtains to appear behind it, acting like teleportation. "Greetings, my fabulous entertanies of the night! How are we doing!?"
There was silence in the crowd… as the kids were all staring at the birthday boy… who was playing a video game. "Oh my god, he's making it past level ten!"
"I thought level eleven was a myth!"
"...So where is the cue card for dealing with ten year olds raised by cellphones?" Iruma asked in a whisper.
"..." Zee took in a deep breath. This was fine. All you needed to do was show them something more flashy and showy than that game, and all will be right with the world. "Who wants to watch an amazing, one in a lifetime, never before seen-"
"Quiet lady, we can't hear the music!"
Zee held in another breath. "For my first trick…" If you couldn't get the crowd going with your charm, do it with your magic. That's where the real eye catchers were. "I shall make my lovely and adorable assistance…disappear!" She took out her cape, and wrapped it around Iruma's entire body. And in a flash, the boy was as gone as the wind. "Tadaah!"
"Wow-!" Yes, finally-! "You unlocked stealth mode!" The kids were still staring at the game.
She twitched, snapping her wand in frustration. "Those little-" And said wand began to spark. "Oooh no."
"Hey Zee." Iruma poked his head out of the crate. "Do I come out-"
Zap
And in a second… her assistant was gone. "… IRUMA!" Okay Zee, stay calm. You used light magic, that meant he wasn't dead. He was just... somewhere, and you had no idea what became of-
"Aww nuts, that power up made your hair blue!" One of the kids shouted.
"Weird he also changed race too… and got younger…"
"Zee? Where are you? Is this part of the trick-ah! Zombies! I thought-!" What sounded like a digitized version of Iruma's voice called out from the little game system. "I left that behind in London!"
"...Aggggggh shoot!" She said in horror. "Okay, okay, get the spell right and get him out, get the spell right and get him out-!" Just got to focus her mind. "Emag taht ffo Amuri teg!"
A flash of purple light came out… and out came Iruma… with two zombies on his back. "Get back, back you say, I'm still using my brain!" Iruma took out an axe and chopped off one of the zombies' head. "Go eat your own, you're not using it!" He kicked the zombie head into the other zombie, before slashing it into it's torso, making the entrails spill out. He took a few breaths, turning to the wide eyed kids. "… So are they virus zombies or resurrected curse zombies? I want to know how edible they are."
"… She brought a video game character to life!" One of the kids shouted excitedly.
"She's the greatest magician of all time!"
"Bring Donkey Kong out next!"... Eh, she'd take it.
"Thank you, thank you, I'll be here for the next hour pulling wondrous and phenomenal acts!" She exclaimed with some small fireworks. "Now watch the sky's dance for your amusement while I take this small break to check up on my assistant." She chuckled as he pulled him aside. "So so so so so so so so sooo sorry! So terribly sorry about that! I don't usually-that doesn't usually happen-!"
"It's fine, it was one of your spells, and they have a pretty good track record from what I remember." Iruma smiled. "Sure I had to fight zombies, but it's nothing I haven't done before."
"You fought zombies?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah. Like Solomon Grundy." He sighed. "I mean, he used to be my friend, then he died… I think, I'm not sure how zombie deaths work, and then Barbara and Harley said there was another guy named Solomon Grundy who was born on a Monday..."
So he fought a Batman villain... "Anyway, again, sorry for the trouble-"
"Really, it's no problem Zee." The boy gave her that adorable grin. "Any job that gives someone a reason to smile is always worth doing."
"Aww." She blushed. "I think someone's earned their treat for today." She took out her hat... and pulled out a chocolate rabbit.
"Yes!" He grinned, grabbing the object-as it vanished, small bits of chocolate on his lips.
"Wow! It's just like the video game! Food vanishes as soon as he touches it!"
"Do a triple flip!"
"Dodge flaming barrels!"
"Jump pits of lava!"
"... Well, the show must go on." Iruma turned to her. "I trust you have everything handled."
"I'll make sure the danger is minimized to almost nothing." She assured.
"And I'll nod reassuringly even though I just fought zombies." It was a birthday party, so it wasn't like she had to go too crazy right now.
She grinned. "Glad to hear it... for now we will saw you in half!"
"…Still going to nod even though I'm terrified right now."
Lena Luthor as a supervillain... Clark didn't know how much was nature and how much was nurture, but he was really hoping it was the latter. Just because Lex Luther was the worst of humanity didn't mean every Luthor had to be the scum of the Earth. He'd hold out hope for them that this was just childish naivety getting the better of the girl.
Speaking of girls, it seemed like Kara fully embraced being a superhero... one that wasn't a complete loner with an anger problem. .. now she has a team while having an anger problem…
Clark did his best to be patient with her, which was pretty hard given how little they saw eye to eye. Unlike him, Kara had memories of Krypton and their family, so in a way, Kara lost more than he did when it exploded.
She didn't grow up on Earth, she wasn't raised by humans... Earth was more alien for her than it was for him. Which resulted in quite a bit of... misplaced temper. They were both really lucky the Danvers were such kind folk, and patient enough to deal with Kara's bursts of superhuman strength…
"Go down you stupid hunk of metal!" Like now, with said girl punching away at Metallo, trying to go in fist first in spite of the kryptonite heart the robot had.
"Man, here I was thinking the next generation meant to be smarter, not dumber." Said machine chuckled, throwing a punch back at her. "Like wow, haven't you watched ANY of your big brother's fights?"
"He's not big and he's not my brother!" Yet another source of frustration for the girl... being reduced to being the child of the family in what was from her perspective, a blink of the eye. "I'm his older cousin!"
"... So do kryptonian chicks age slower or something, cause you look like a teenager." Her eyes began glowing red. "I see I pressed a button. Allow me to press one of my own." And the kryptonite power source exposed itself.
"Gaaah!" Kara shouted as she fell on the ground. "Why does every robot in this city run on kryptonite!?"
"Wow; you must've been living under a meteor or something if you don't even know the answer to that." Metallo cackled as he shifted his arm into a knife. "I'm the robot that beat Superman to a pulp! Metallo! I'm the one no kryptonian can beat!"
"Let's not toot your own horn too much, John." Clark snickered as he used his heat vision to make a lamp post fall on the bot, grabbing a sewer grate as he flew down. "Last time you got pummeled by Super Dog when he buried you alive in a game of fetch."
"Great, if it isn't the most super annoying man on the planet." The robot groaned. "What creative way have you cooked up to defeat me this time? Toxin to damage the nervous system, use one of my own missiles, get Captain Atom to change my heart into a piece of cake?"
"Just a friendly game of catch." He used his heat vision on the sewer cover and tossed it... right on the chest piece, covering the hole exposing the kryptonite. "Lead lined sewers. Be sure to thank Lutnor for me on your way to jail."
"Fantas-" And Superman clapped his head, rattling it as the man went down.
"… How!" She shouted. "I punched him multiple-"
"He's not a robot, he's a cyborg." Clark said. "I just rattled his brain into unconsciousness."
"But I punched him right in the head!-"
"A head that's mostly metal and impact resistant, plus you charged in while he was exposing you to kryptonite radiation, weakening the impact." One thing he's learned on the job; you have to fight smarter not harder. "You alright?"
"I'm fine! Just fine; I didn't need your help!" Kara shouted as she flew off into the air.
"Oh come on." He flew up to her. "I heard you're in the city and I can't even fly over to say hi?"
"Don't you have a cat to save?"
"Ten actually but I did that this morning." Clark responded. "I'm just checking up on my family."
"Well you checked up on me and clearly I'm fine, so you can go and stop coddling me."
"I never coddled you."
"You kept me in Kansas for ten years!"
"You weren't used to slang. You thought 'sick' meant they needed a hospital." He pointed out. "And you thought 'cool' meant you needed to use your freeze breath to cool people down."
"Ugh, why are you here?" Kara groaned while giving him the stink eye.
"Lois put out her latest story." He pulled out a newspaper. "Super Hero Girls." He chuckled as he looked at the paper. "I told Lois that wasn't the most creative name but she insisted. Well, at least we can say for certainty the job isn't sexist."
Kara groaned. "Oh great, your girlfriend is covering us to the public. Great, not like I wasn't going to be compared to you before, but now that Superman's girlfriend is here-"
Clark tried to change the subject. "Kara, I think it's great you have friends-"
"Oh, because I'm such a mess that I couldn't have any before?" She snarked bitterly.
"That's not what I was saying and you know it." Now he was giving her the stink eye. "I'm just glad you've found people you can connect with. I know it hasn't been easy."
"…" Kara sighed. "They're... cool enough. At least half of them don't freak out when I go overboard. The other half freak out in a funny way, and Wonder Woman is even more naive than I was about the world."
"She's more naive than you?" He asked with a grin.
"Amazon warrior princess. She thinks one guy's a girl, and assumed kissing was a form of attack." Kara snickered.
"… Do we need to get the lead bunker?"
"Nah, we got it handled at the moment with carnival games and ice cream." She nodded. "That and Batgirl's immense enthusiasm for all things in life."
"A bat that's excited about life, now I've seen everything." Clark laughed. "She definitely seems less broody than the bat I know. Half the time with super hearing I can't tell what he's saying over his grumbling." He chuckled. "I'll have to bring it up to him next time... Green Lantern too, seems like one of his proteges managed to finally snag some spotlight."
"You know a Green Lantern?" Kara asked.
"Meehh... Green Lanterns are more interpol on a universal level than normal superheroes. He's in space most of the time."
"Oooooh, that explains a lot... weird I never even heard of them back on Krypton."
"Apparently some sectors get more attention than others." Superman recalled. "The Milky Way has two."
"Is it because of the constant villains that try to take over this planet specifically?"
"No, it's because, in his words, 'the Lanterns are so understaffed we have to take seventy two thousand members and divide them up into thirty six thousand quadrants of the entire universe'."
"Yeesh, sounds boring and dumb." Kara grumbled. "Well, nice catching up to you Kal."
"You two Kara, let's meetup for coffee next Thursday." He waved, before flying away to rescue people from a burning building. "The never ending battle continues." A battle he'll continue to fight until it no longer needs fighting... until the day the world didn't need a Superman.
Barry grabbed the twenty seven cases. With the restaurant still under repair, their delivery service was the only way to get Sweet Justice treats. Which was perfect for him, as Barry Allen... was a superhero! He was the fastest man alive... the Flash!
Now, you may be wondering 'Barry, if you're the fastest man alive, how come you didn't help out when robots attacked your shop'? Well, the answer to that was simple… he was told to contact the lawyers by his bosses, and he went to grab his phone, but the phone died and he had to go buy a battery but the store was closed by then so then head to run over to the lawyer's house but then he had to stop a giant eel in the middle of the Atlantic. And by that point Jay ran over and asked for some help testing out an experimental treadmill and he couldn't just say no to the man, he was a mentor. So he ran back to the lawyer but got told he went to Hawaii for a vacation, but then he went there and the lawyer was asleep because of different time zones, and he had to wait for the man to wake up, and by the time he made it back home, Sweet Justice was already financially compensated for 10K, which meant that lawyers didn't have to get involved.
…Admittedly, Barry wasn't the best at time management, but he wasn't going to let that slow him down. Sweet Justice was a few weeks from being completed, which meant until then, he had to help the old couple out as much as he could.
"You sure you don't want to take the bike Barry?" The elderly woman who co-owned the shop with her husband asked. "That's a lot of food to carry on your own."
"It's no problem, these cakes and sweets weigh nothing." Especially with the wind resistance and inertia pretty much making the weight irrelevant with how much he ran. "So, how's progress going?"
"Going good Barry!" Iruma shouted as he drilled in a nail. "Building crews in Metropolis are surprisingly put together!"
"Say what you want about Lex Luthor, but he does keep an efficient construction crew." The elderly man nodded. "Now remember Barry, with our shop down, our promise of 'thirty minutes or it's free' is more important than ever before."
"I completely understand. It'll be a piece of cake, hahah, pun." He grinned as he secured all the cakes. He took a few steps down the street, waiting until everyone was looking away... and booked it. The need for hundreds of calories a day was definitely worth the feeling of the wind rushing through his hair as he moved. Plus he got a discount at Sweet Justice, so he was never a fresh supply of calories to intake. "Okay, first and main street, not too far, just fifty miles in the other direction, sweet, it'll only take one minute to get there!"
He ran, moving through the streets, past cars, gently pushing one man to his knees so the woman he was with could see the box he was too afraid to show her, snatching away a criminal's gun so the cops could grab him, grabbing a balloon before it flew away, aaaand there we go. "Ha, and they said I needed a bike-"
"Here's the power nails you asked for kid." The man he was delivering handed a box to...
"Thank you mister." IRUMA of all people smiled as he accepted it. "Just needed a replacement since Sarah dropped them down one of the cracks."
"Iruma?" Barry blinked.
"Oh hey Barry! Made your first delivery in three minutes, nice." The boy grinned as he waved. "Gotta be light on your feet for this job, can't afford to fall behind."
"...Right." Did Barry take longer than he thought to deliver it? It couldn't have been longer than three minutes, Iruma himself perfectly summed up the time. "Next delivery is to... Ms. Anderson on south street, I can do this." That was sixty miles away, just five minutes compared to the last one, shouldn't be a problem. Just had to jump the bridge, punch the purse snatcher, help the old lady across the street, paint the church, and he was there-
"Hot pizza delivered in four minutes, that deserves a big tip."
"Thanks." IRUMA again waved , SOMEHOW, as he took the payment. "Wow, so tipping is not just a myth. My world view just got completely flipped." The boy turned to him. "Hey Barry!"
"... Are you working with a competitor?" Barry asked incredulously.
"Sweet Justice delivers pizza?" Iruma tilted his head.
"No, just... another food company in general." He shook his head.
"... Food's food and I need the money." He shrugged.
"But aren't you working with the construction-"
"I am." Iruma said as he turned to the corner.
"Right now?"
"Yeah, this was just a side stop I needed to make."
"... Somehow that's more confusing than the break in physics." He shook his head as his phone beat. "Gaah, running late, gotta get seventy miles downtown in three minutes!" Cutting it close, but he needed to do it, just punch the bank robber again, help the ducks cross the road, fix the repair man's power drill. "I'm here-!"
"Your leaky faucet's fixed." Iruma's voice called out again as the door opened.
"Thank's kid." The guy nodded, before turning to Barry. "Cutting it close again are we?"
"What... I... how..." Did he have to call Jay and see if this kid was connected to the Speed Force? "I... here's your cake sir..." Barry slumped as he handed it over. "How did you get here so fast?"
"I walked." Iruma shrugged.
"You walked?"
"Yeah, didn't you?" He asked.
"...You have three jobs going on all at once... And you just…walk to each of them?" He said slowly.
"Yeah. If I ran, then I'd waste energy and lose time. Walking's much easier." The kid nodded. "Speaking of, I gotta get back to construction. See ya." He waved, walking off.
"Hold on-!" He turned to the corner to watch the kid leave... And saw... Nothing. Like he was gone with the wind. "Iruma?" He called out. "Iruma..." How the heck did he-Barry's phone dinged. He had ten seconds till his next delivery! "Gahhh!" Focus on that later, no time to stop, run up the building, fling yourself across the air. You had ten seconds to make it, you would make it there on time, you'll be there just in time before anyone else- "Wait, this is just Sweet Justice's address-"
"Thanks Barry." Iruma grinned as he accepted the cake. "I've saved up a lot of money for this."
"…" Barry fell to the ground, twitching.
"Are you alright?"
"Just... questioning life." He answered numbly.
"Been there. Hope you find an answer some day!"
"I'm hoping... To find it too..." Maybe that giant hat smiling at him menacingly had an answer-nope, that was just the unconsciousness taking over.
Iruma smiled. "I got me a jar of money, a bunch of food... and best of all, a high quality tent!" This was way better than how he lived in Gotham. He got to sleep on the grass with a sleeping bag. If Iruma hadn't experienced Atlantis, he would've called himself spoiled. "This is what I've worked for... with my own money." It was nice to be taken care of. The Rogues, Tatsu, Solovar, Lori and her family... they provided for him... But now it was time to take care of himself so he wouldn't be a bum. He had a lot of planning ahead for what he wanted for Gotham, and it was important he knew how to take care of himself first before he took care of other people.
Thus, setting up his own life. Proper education, shelter, and jobs to support himself. Not to mention... "All the prey I could ask for." He smiled, gazing into the forest around him. He respected nature, sure, but they respected losing a hunt. It was a balance he's found himself after all those years of living and surviving. If you take from nature, you must be willing to give back. For every apple eaten, you planted a seed. For every bird you ate, another you'd set free. Thus life would keep going on and on.
"Now, where to start..." He heard a crack of branches. "Feels like..." His... danger sense (he was never going with Barbara and Harley's name) was saying it was a predator... something that could kill him easily. Iruma should probably move and find somewhere else to set up camp...
"Face you maker, foul beasts of the air! You have fought well, but tonight the hunt belongs to me!" A familiar voice called out as what sounded like a spear flying through the air was heard.
"Diana!?" He shouted, making his way through the bushes. "That you!?"
"Sister Iruma!" He wasn't going to bother trying to correct her. It seemed more to be more trouble than it was worth considering the 'culture of immoral men hating women' her mother and all the other Amazons cling to. He still remembered how being a human kind of screwed him over on most first impressions for the last three years... four if you include the leprechauns. "I was not expecting you. Do you venture these woods as well?"
"If by venture you mean live here, then yes."
She gasped. "You... have made a home of this forest?" Diana asked.
Iruma had this conversation before. "Yeah, I know it's a little weird-"
"Me too!" She showed off a wooden hut. "Since it is the first day, I wasn't able to form a clay hut within the tree lines. But with time, it shall grow mighty and strong!"
"Faster way to do it would be to get some mud, a few strands of grass and leaves, hay if you can find it, and grind it together for a semi decent cement mold."
"Yes, but that would merely be aesthetically strong. How would it fare against Griffon attacks?"
"I wouldn't know about griffons, but against bears it holds well enough, although to avoid bear attacks, I recommend getting bear musk if you can."
"No need. For a simple bear, marking my territory should be enough until it searches for food for its cubs." She nodded. "And what are your fortifications for this evening?"
"Oh, I got a tent about fifteen inches tall. Nothing fancy, just enough to sleep comfortably for the foreseeable future." Eventually he'll have to buy a new one, but he'll have enough money for it when he does. "But anyway, I'm happy to be neighbors with you, Diana." Iruma smiled.
"Yes. May our competitions for the resources in this small forest be fierce." She smiled right back at him. "And may the goddess Artemis bless our hunts this evening."
"I've always wondered if she had a hand in me learning archery." Given that gods and demons were real, gods being real wasn't that far off.
"Likely so." She smiled, patting his back. "Artemis is the goddess of hunting, the moon, and chastity!"
"Those have been major themes in my life in the past seven years." Especially that last one during his time in Atlantis. "Maybe I should take up a religion."
"A religion?" Diana snorted. "The gods are real. What other beliefs could humans have?"
"Multiple gods are real from different pantheons, it's more of a question what beliefs DON'T people have." Iruma explained. "Personally I didn't believe in any until I was faced with the devil himself."
"… If you did not believe in the gods, then what did you think happened when your soul left your body?" She asked.
"I thought you just went to sleep and never woke up, or you were dead forever and never experienced anything." Slightly more comforting knowing an afterlife existed. "Now… well, apparently everything's true, so I just don't really know who to commit to."
"If you are looking to commit, I would suggest praying to Artemis. She is a wise, strong Hunter who shared many of your beliefs." Diana smiled. "We can prepare the sacrificial altar tonight if you wish."
"I'll think it over tomorrow." He answered. "But thank you for the offer, I appreciate it."
"It is my pleasure, sister Iruma." Diana grinned. "Even if you don't seek the path of heroism, I still consider you a mighty and intelligent warrior that I can call upon and trust."
"Happy to help." This was the life he had… and it was one he was grateful to have.