Chapter 5
My Hunters were almost as discouraged as when we were fighting the losing battle against Kronos in Manhattan just a couple months ago.
"Thalia!" My second in command, Phoebe, asked as I walked away from Percy and joined the group of girls who were getting pelted by the storm. "Are you okay!?"
"Yeah!?" I responded over the gusts of wind. "Is everyone here?"
"Yes! We have just been waiting for you. We were starting to get worried something had happened. Where have you been?"
"I got lost," I lied as I quickly looked down, trying to hide any indication of where I had actually been. "I haven't been in this forest in forever."
"Did you not just emerge from the forest with Poseidon's son?" she asked as she glanced over at Percy who was standing alone in the pouring rain.
My heart began pounding against my chest as I quickly thought of an excuse. "We found each other after the storm started. He was just as lost as I was. We need to get out of this storm, Phoebe." I said to change the topic.
Phoebe looked at me and gave a nod before turning and addressing the hunters in a loud voice, "We're all here, let us get back to Lady Artemis's cabin! Everything will be alright." She didn't have to repeat herself. We all started moving towards our shelter. Phoebe and I were walking side by side. Her normally cheerful and determined face was replaced with defeat. She didn't look over at me, as if she were either too mad or too ashamed of what had happened during the game. She had the hood of her silver parka riding up against her cheeks in an attempt to bury her face from not just the storm, but her hurt pride as well.
"We really needed you, Thalia. We lost." She finally said over the noise of the storm.
"What happened?" I asked, as if I didn't already know the answer.
"We weren't ready. They came rushing in where our defenses were weakest. We tried holding them off, but this storm," she said as she looked vengefully up at the sky, "caught us off guard just as much as their offensive. They took our flag amid the chaos. How does a storm get inside the borders of Camp Half-Blood? I thought that was impossible." The last words escaped her mouth as she sought validation in her belief that the only reason we lost was because of the storm.
I knew that wasn't true. I knew we lost because of me. All those years of wanting to get even for that one capture the flag game seemed childish now.
"Well?" Phoebe probed with that particular tone of concern—the one that subtly nudged at my responsibility, letting me know she needed my direction.
"We'll be okay. Maybe we can convince Chiron that there needs to be a rematch because of the weather." I said half-heartedly.
"I hope so." Phoebe mused. "We have never lost to these campers. Our hearts are heavy with defeat. Even you are letting it get to you. You look more distraught than I feel. Did anything else happen?" She looked at me, her face with compassionate concern mixed with a warrior's intuition, silently suggesting she sensed there were unspoken burdens lying heavy on my shoulders. After all the battles we had fought and the years we had shared together, I knew she wasn't trying to pry, or to incriminate. She wanted to help.
My eyes met Phoebe's as I told her, "Just the game." I said shortly. She gave me a silent nod, underscored with an understanding that whatever I was going through, I wanted to go through it alone. I wanted so badly for all my problems to be based on some stupid game. But I knew it would never be that simple.
We trudged back to Artemis's cabin in somber silence, the storm raging around us. My Hunters, usually tight-knit and alert, were scattered along the trail, their heads bowed and armor clinking softly. They moved with an uncharacteristic slowness, barely acknowledging the violent swaying of the trees or the horizontal rain pelting us.
As we marched, the realization of my actions began to seep into my mind, much like the freezing water trickling down my back. I became acutely aware of the chill, each raindrop sending shivers through me. Attempts to shield myself were futile; I couldn't escape the relentless storm, just as I couldn't escape my thoughts of Percy.
I thought all the way back to when we first met. I was just waking up to this new life, and there he was—strong, steady, with those concerned sea-green eyes. The connection was instant, like we had known each other forever. When he extended his hand, I never wanted to let go.
I replayed our conversation under my pine—the place where we first met. Being alone with Percy filled me with butterflies, something I rarely felt. I hadn't expected to see him, let alone open up like I did. I should have walked away when I saw him there, but maybe it was fate. Fate telling me I needed to confront my feelings, that Percy was meant to be more than a forbidden crush. Yet when the chance to kiss him came, I pulled back, my oath to Artemis pulling me away. The shock of it reminded me of my duty as a Hunter, and I ran before I lost the strength to leave.
I promised myself I'd let it go, to stop thinking about Percy, and I planned to leave with my Hunters the next morning. But fate intervened when we ran into each other again. Given a second chance, it felt like destiny was pushing me toward him—maybe I wasn't meant to be a Hunter forever. Maybe I was meant to be with Percy. This time, I refused to ignore fate.
Yet, as much as I wanted to believe in fate, guilt gnawed at me. Was this truly destiny, or was I just looking for an excuse to break my oath? Didn't I position us in the same general area of the forest? It dawned on me that I had probably put us closer together subconsciously. If none of this was fate, what was it?
And what about my Hunters? They depended on me; I couldn't just abandon them. Looking at my defeated sisters, guilt hit me like a violent storm. Doubts crept in—would Artemis even allow me to lead after what I'd done? It wasn't just Artemis I feared, though. My father was causing this storm to rage at Camp Half-Blood. Was what I did really so bad? Why was he so angry?
Lost in these thoughts, we finally reached Artemis's cabin. We stumbled inside, leaving our wet equipment and cloaks by the entrance. Warmth enveloped us, the cabin's cozy embrace fighting off the biting cold. The large fireplace bathed the room in flickering light, and the sounds of heavy raindrops and crackling fire filled the air.
I hadn't yet grown accustomed to the cabin's serenity. We rarely had the chance to use it, and I'd only been inside a few times. The air was fragrant with the scent of evergreen forests and wildflowers. Lanterns emitting a soft glow mimicked moonbeams and stars, casting light on tapestries depicting mythical beasts and celestial constellations. Animal trophies adorned the walls, and fur pelts covered the wooden floor. Each bed was crafted from high-quality oak, and tall windows offered views of the storm outside.
Despite the peaceful atmosphere, none of us felt any more hopeful. No words were exchanged—only sullen glances and heavy sighs that echoed the shame hanging over us like a palpable fog. An unspoken agreement settled among us to seek solace in sleep. The soft rustling of bedding soon filled the cabin as my sisters prepared for an early night.
"Where's Artemis?" One of the Hunters ventured to pierce the silence. Some eyes were raised in my direction. I tried to get my eyes to meet theirs, but I couldn't do it. Just the thought of looking at someone who trusted me after what I had done filled me with pain.
"She will come." Was all I said. I felt like a false prophet, like an imposter invoking Artemis's name, as if each syllable nudged me further from the goddess's grace and my sisters' trust. Surrounded by the sanctuary of her cabin, I was filled with unease. The walls seemed to close in with every memory of the stolen moments with Percy. My fingers fumbled with the straps of my armor, a task that should have been second nature. I stole a glance at the others, but their attention was thankfully turned elsewhere.
I glanced around the cabin. It's once welcoming embrace began to turn into scrutiny. Every wall decoration or celestial tapestry reminded me of the goddess's power and my contradictory actions.
I saw Phoebe gaze lingering on me from the corner of my eye. She was expecting something of me. She probably wants me to confess and tell everyone the real reason why we lost. What I was really doing in the forest. I pretended to be really concentrated on getting my bed ready in hopes she would stop peering at me. But her gaze was steady. My heart started beating quicker. My hands started becoming clammy. What does she want? Does she know?
At last, she turned her stare away from me and she faced the hunters. "Let us rest, sisters," she said, trying to encourage the broken spirits felt within the cabin. "Tonight has been long and fraught with disappointing defeats. But remember, we are daughters of the Hunt. With tomorrow's sun a new day begins, and our bond will remain unbreakable. Now, let us find solace in sleep, and may our dreams be kind."
The hunters loosened up at the comforting words of our second in command. Some moved around with new founded, yet gentle purpose as the time for sleep drew increasingly closer. I then noticed Phoebe's subtle, expectant glance in my direction. I quickly realized Phoebe was looking at me to rally and comfort our sisters before the night's end. Something that had become second nature to me. Amidst my personal storm, I had momentarily forgotten my sisters' need for guidance from my voice and leadership. Dread came as I realized I had once again failed them.
Looking away from my sisters, I hastily prepared my bed, hoping sleep would swiftly overtake me and that a new day might somehow erase my problems. Little did I know things would only get worse.
As the rustling of my Hunters settling down ceased and the hearth's warm light faded, the cabin grew dim, bathed in a dark shade of blue. The pounding rain and roaring thunder resonated throughout the interior. I buried my face in my pillow, as if hiding could shield me from the consequences of my actions. Moments passed, seconds turning into minutes, and I shifted uneasily. Sleep wouldn't come easily tonight.
The evening's events replayed in my mind. I thought I might at least smile at the Hunters losing a game of capture the flag, but I'd never felt more miserable. I had grown to love these girls as my family. We'd fought together countless times, risking our lives for one another. We spent every waking hour side by side.
If that was the worst part about it all, I felt like I could have recovered and maybe gotten over it. But the recent memories of Percy and I alone together in the forest began emerging in my mind once again. The way he came up to me and hugged me. And the way we . . .
I let the gravity of my actions fall down upon me in full force. I had broken my oath to Artemis by kissing Percy. With just a simple kiss I had unraveled the very fabric of my loyalty to the goddess. I knew Artemis wasn't easily deceived; her connection to us as her Hunters was intimate. For I all know she could be watching me right now, her silver gaze reading my turmoil as easily as one reads the open pages of a book. I was at her complete mercy. I had not only betrayed my sisters, but I had betrayed the very essence of the Hunt.
Was I ready to leave? Ready to be kicked out of my family? My way of life? It felt like my whole life had been with the Hunt since coming back to reality. Maybe I was just being selfish with wanting to live a normal life away from monsters. Despite all my hopes, I knew that I would never get a normal life. As a daughter of Zeus, there would always be some sort of danger on the horizon. I would be vulnerable on my own. With the Hunters, I always had my sisters who would risk their lives to save me, and I would do the same. There was a fierce tug-of-war within me, a clash between the enticing of a different path and my life as a huntress. But I knew vulnerability would be my life outside of the Hunt, and in abandoning my sisters, I would forsake something far more important than protection or purpose– I'd give up who I was. How could I give that up?
Staring up at the ceiling, hoping it might somehow provide the answers I desperately needed, the area around me began to brighten with a pure, otherworldly light. I quickly sat up, searching for the source. My eyes turned to the tall windows. Despite the thick storm clouds, the moon's light pierced through, forging a path directly into the cabin. I looked around and saw all the Hunters still asleep, undisturbed by the lunar beam that singled me out. The sharp moonlight illuminated only my bed.
There was no doubt about it. Artemis was calling me.
Mixed feelings rushed over me. On one hand I felt as if I had been caught by a parent while doing something I shouldn't have done and knew that punishment was near. On the other, I felt as if the tranquil light of the moon that pierced the storm was a hand extended by Artemis herself to help me escape my inner turmoil. Whatever it meant, I knew I would be seeing Artemis very soon.
I slowly got out of my bed, knowing full well I could never deny a summons from the goddess I was sworn to. As quietly as I could, I put on my silver parka, black jeans, and combat boots. I tiptoed to the front entrance. Fearing that the sound of the storm would wake my sisters, and knowing that I would soon expose myself to the wrath of the storm again, I took a deep breath as I placed my hand on the doorknob.
Opening the door swiftly and silently, I stepped outside and closed it behind me in an instant. The cold hit me like a wall, stealing my breath. I looked around for any sign, but darkness enveloped everything. The vague outlines of the twelve Olympian cabins were the only discernible shapes. Glancing up, I saw the moon hidden behind thick clouds. I was utterly alone.
Rain and wind battered me. Before I knew it, I was drenched, water streaming down my face and blurring my vision. Tightening my arms around myself, I turned in place, squinting through the downpour for any clue of what to do next. My mind struggled to think amidst the storm's clamor.
Then, standing majestically against the dark backdrop of trees, I saw a stag. Its coat gleamed like bright moonlight, illuminating the surrounding area. The stag stood noble and unfazed by the chaos, its presence commanding an eerie calm. Its eyes locked onto mine.
I felt an inexplicable pull—an unspoken command to follow. Without a second thought, I began walking toward the forest where the stag had turned. Each step drew me closer to the unknown as it led the way with a grace that seemed divine.
The forest became a maze of confusion and fear as I stumbled through thick vegetation. Trees seemed to close in around me, branches swaying violently. The path ahead was lit only by the soft glow of the stag's coat. But soon, it began to fade into the trees and rain, its form becoming more elusive with each step.
Panic started to creep in as the stag completely disappeared from sight, leaving me alone in the dark, stormy forest. The howling wind and the relentless rain seemed to pick up even more. I stumbled forward, my heart pounding, trying to catch a glimpse of the stag, but it was gone.
Just as despair began to take hold, I entered a clearing. The trees parted, and there, bathed in the ethereal glow of the moonlight, stood Artemis. Her presence was as serene and powerful as the forest itself, her silver eyes showing ages of experience. The storm's fury was muted here. The wind was a gentle breeze. There was no rain.
Apprehension surged as I faced her. The weight of my actions pressed down like a physical burden. Losing the capture-the-flag game seemed trivial now. What haunted me was confessing my feelings to Percy and our kiss. In that fleeting moment, I had acted on dreams I'd harbored for years, betraying my oath.
The fear of judgment gnawed at me. Despite my recent apprehensions about the hunt, Artemis's approval meant everything to me. She had become the mother I always needed. I feared that she would see through me. That she would know of my betrayal and cast me out of the Hunt. The very idea of losing my place among the Hunters, of being stripped of my purpose and family, filled my body with uncertainty and anxiety. I could only hope that Artemis would understand. That she would see the conflict in my heart and offer the guidance I so desperately needed.
Artemis stood there, her silver eyes reflecting the moonlight, as a warm glow surrounded her. She seemed to sense my turmoil, her gaze softening as she took a step closer. The storm outside continued to rage, but here in the clearing, it felt distant, muted even.
Itook a deep breath, my emotions a tangled mess of fear, guilt, and confusion. "Artemis," I began, my voice wavering, "why have you summoned me?"
Artemis's gaze was steady, her expression was calm. "Thalia, you know why."
Her words cut through my defenses, and I felt the weight of my actions pressing down on me even more. I looked into her eyes. My mind raced, debating whether to tell her the full truth. Could I really confess everything? Would she understand, or would she cast me out? The fear of losing my place among the Hunters, of being stripped of everything, was overwhelming. But I knew I couldn't hide from her. Not anymore.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "I betrayed my oath. I let my feelings for Percy get in the way."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I continued, the words spilling out in a rush. "I've dedicated my life to the Hunt, but my feelings for Percy... they've always made me question everything. I don't want to betray you, but I have these feelings for him."
I thought about leaving my apology there, but my mouth was a broken dam that had finally cracked after keeping everything at bay, and the words were the force of a thousand rivers rushing out as if they had been held captive for eons.
"From the moment I first met Percy, I felt something—a connection I can't explain it, but it's always been there. I've tried to hide it, to bury it deep within me, but it's only gotten stronger over the years. Every time I see him, every time we fight side by side, those feelings resurface, no matter how hard I try to push them away. I thought I could handle it, that my dedication to the Hunt would be enough to keep those feelings suppressed. But tonight, when we were alone, everything I'd been holding back came rushing to the surface. I couldn't ignore it anymore. We kissed, Artemis." I looked up at her, my eyes searching for reassurance as I pleaded for help. "I don't know what to do. I feel so lost."
Artemis listened, her expression thoughtful and understanding. When I finished, she stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Thalia, the heart is a powerful force. It can lead us to faraway places we never imagined, challenge our beliefs, and make us question our path. But it is also a source of strength and growth."
Artemis's gaze softened even more. "You are not the first to struggle with such feelings. Even I have faced the challenges of romantic attachments in the past. It is not wrong to feel, Thalia. It is a sign that you are alive, that you are growing."
Her unexpected empathy caught me off guard, a gentleness in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. It was as if she understood, truly understood, what was happening inside me. But as much as I tried to grasp it, I still couldn't quite shake the confusion swirling in my chest.
Artemis's voice was calm, but there was an edge of something deeper beneath it. "Thalia," she began softly, her words hanging in the air. "There's more to this storm than you realize."
I frowned, my gaze shifting to the raging storm outside the clearing. "I don't understand, why is my dad so mad?" I muttered, more to myself than to her. "Is this because of... what I did with Percy?"
Artemis was silent for a moment, studying me carefully before shaking her head slightly. "Your father can create storms, Thalia, but this one… it is not his doing."
I blinked, confused. "But it always happens when I mess up. When something big happens, Zeus gets mad and sends storms. It's what he does."
Artemis took a slow breath, her eyes never leaving mine. "Do you truly believe that every storm is his wrath? Or is there something else—something within you—that could be stirring this tempest?"
I hesitated, her words sinking in slowly. "What do you mean?"
"Think back," she urged gently. "When did the storm begin? What were you feeling in that moment?"
I thought back, my mind racing. "It started when... when I was with Percy in the forest."
"And how were you feeling at that moment?" Artemis asked, her voice probing gently.
"I was... conflicted. Torn between you and my feelings for Percy," I admitted, the realization dawning on me.
Artemis's eyes softened even further, but there was a quiet strength in her voice as she spoke. "This storm, Thalia, is not the work of Zeus. It is yours. Your emotions, your inner conflict—they are manifesting around you."
I stared at her, stunned. "So, you're saying... this storm is because of me?"
I stared at her, my heart racing as the realization hit me. "You're saying... I caused this?"
Artemis's eyes held a knowing look. "Yes, Thalia. Look within yourself, you will know it to be true."
I felt a shiver run down my spine as her words sank in. The storm, the relentless rain and thunder—it was all because of me. My emotions had spiraled out of control, and because of it, I had unleashed a huge storm on camp.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "I'm so confused and conflicted. I feel like whatever choice I make will be the wrong one."
Artemis's gaze was steady and compassionate. "Loyalty to the Hunt and loyalty to your heart are not mutually exclusive, Thalia. Sometimes, the path to true loyalty requires us to face our deepest fears and desires. It requires us to be honest with ourselves and those we care about. These feelings you are experiencing are a part of who you are. They are a part of your journey. But you must also remember your commitment to the Hunt and to your sisters. This is a test, Thalia. A test of your heart and your loyalty."
I looked up at her, my eyes searching for guidance. "What should I do?"
Artemis's eyes twinkled with a hint of mystery. "I sense the fates have something in store for you. Tomorrow. Percy and Annebeth will leave camp. You must go with them."
I blinked in confusion. "Annabeth? But she's not at camp."
Artemis's expression grew serious. "I do not know why Annabeth will be at camp, or why you must go with them. But I this journey will be your test, Thalia. It will be a trial of your heart and your loyalty. You will face challenges that will force you to confront your deepest fears and desires. But through it all, you will discover where your true allegiance lies, and what your heart truly wants. And at the end I will accept your choice, whatever it may be."
My mind began to race at all the implications of Artemis's words. My impulsive mind jumped from one thought to the next: Percy to Annabeth to the Hunt to failing and making the wrong choice. Artemis's intense gaze brought me back to reality.
"About the kiss, Thalia. It is not the act itself that concerns me, but what it represents. It is a manifestation of your inner conflict, a moment where your heart overpowered your duty. This is not inherently wrong, but it is something you must understand and reconcile within yourself."
"I apologize, Artemis. Really. I'll leave with Percy and Annabeth tomorrow. I'll make it right, whatever happens. I promise." I paused, dreading the answer to my next question. "Am I… am I still your lieutenant?"
"You are my lieutenant as long as you want to be." Artemis stated. "I trust you. I feel this is not my decision to make; it is something you must choose yourself." Artemis smiled, "You are strong, Thalia. Trust in yourself and in the path that lies ahead. The storm will pass, and with it, you will find clarity."
"Thank you, Artemis," I said, "Thank you for everything. For being so compassionate and understanding."
Artemis's smile widened, "Goodbye. Remember, Thalia, you are never alone."
With those words, Artemis began to glow brighter and brighter, her form becoming a radiant beacon of light. I looked away as she transformed into a shimmering figure, then slowly faded, leaving me alone in the clearing. A quiet resolve settled over me, but uncertainty still tugged at the edges of my mind.
The storm had passed, and the forest around me was calm, bathed in gentle moonlight. I took a deep breath, feeling a sense of clarity, though not without hesitation. As I walked through the forest, the crisp air carried the scent of rain-soaked earth and pine. The leaves glistened like stars in the moonlight, but even in this peaceful moment, the weight of the choices I would have to soon make lingered. I had found some resolve, but doubt still lingered in the shadows.
The moon hung high in the sky, its pale light casting long shadows that seemed to move and shift with the rhythm of the forest. As I walked, the sight of Artemis's cabin at the end of the path reminded me of the home I had found among the Hunters. Each step was steady, yet filled with uncertainty about the future and whether I could truly face what awaited me.