A/N: I've started the Twospirit: Reimagined project! Ah, it feels so good to return to a story I haven't seen in 3 months. Feels like returning a lost part of myself. I see now that that is exactly what it is. Each of my ongoing stories is still a part of me, and I walk away from them at my own peril.

I'm so glad to have you back. *heart*

.

Konan

After sending her message, Konan read Itachi's. Her eyes widened.

"Did something occur while we were in meeting?" Nagato asked. The three of them had retreated to the park following their meeting with the local government. Yahiko sat on the bench next to Konan, resisting the urge to look over her shoulder.

"Itachi has determined that our otherworldly relations are governed by the Internet censor," Konan replied. "We can only receive visitors from censored worlds."

Her companions glanced at each other. "Information about the censored worlds themselves is obviously not available to us, but we may be able to learn how many censored worlds there are," Nagato said.

"I shall search for it now." Konan opened Google on her phone and typed in, How many censored worlds are there? She did not expect to receive an answer. Her experimental searches with Deidara had always consisted of a direct search that got no results, followed by an indirect search that answered the question that the first search had been asking. Konan thought there was a decent chance that this format was important. If a direct query was not made first, the I feel lucky button might not know what question it was supposed to answer. She didn't want to take any chances, so she followed the tried and true format.

As expected, she got nothing. Google seemed to think she was asking how many books had ever been banned from public libraries. Konan scrolled back to the top and discovered that there was a problem with her plan: the Google app on her phone did not have an I feel lucky button. There was no way to perform a random search at all.

She stood. Her companions stood also. "My phone is unable to perform the necessary search," she explained. "It appears that only a full-sized computer can do it. We must go to the library."

Off to the library they went. As they walked, Nagato and Yahiko discussed the agreement they had reached with the mayor. Nagato focused on the practical details they needed to attend to in order to carry out the agreement. "We must acquire at least one cellphone. We are usually together, so one would suffice in most circumstances, but it may be wiser to get two in case we are ever separated. We should offer both numbers to the mayor; if he only wants yours, that will be his own choice."

Yahiko focused on the longer-range and more emotional implications. "Are you sure that you don't have any hurt feelings? You are the better choice for this position. The mayor only wants me to be the face of it because he's uncomfortable with your eyes."

"You have always been the face of leadership and I have always hidden my eyes away. This was true even over the years when you were dead," Nagato replied. "I will be your partner and assist from the shadows, as always."

"In this case, it's more accurate to say I'll be assisting from the light," Yahiko retorted. "You'll be doing all the work, managing Hidan and planning things out."

"You both are seen as being one unit," Konan told them both. "One complete person, split into two aspects. The effectiveness of that person may be more important than the relative dominance of its aspects." Yahiko and Nagato looked at each other. Over the course of several minutes, Nagato managed to silently persuade Yahiko that he truly did not have any hurt feelings. They shook hands.

By that point, they had reached the library. Konan led them inside. "I will perform the search. You two may wish to reassure the librarians that their ghostly books have not come to harm." Nagato and Yahiko nodded. Konan went to the computer room and sat down at the most isolated setup, as was her preference. She started it up, opened a web browser and moused over the I feel lucky button. Lucky changed to stellar, and Konan found herself looking at pictures of some nebula. She frowned. Perhaps she needed to repeat the direct search?

She searched for How many censored worlds are there? As before, she got no useful results. She then moused over the I feel lucky button. Lucky changed to curious. Konan's hopes rose, only to flatline when the search bar showed that she had searched for Conway's game of life. Konan read through the results, hoping that this game would somehow prove relevant, but it turned out to be nothing more than a game devised by a mathematician to illustrate the ability of very simple creatures governed by very simple rules to form systems of great complexity. While interesting, Konan could not see any way for such a result to answer her question. Nothing leaped out at her in the distinctive way that Deidara's results had. Could I have done something wrong?

She tried again. This time, the adjective was doodley. She found herself looking at past Google doodles. It was official: her question was being ignored. Konan left the computer room with more questions than before and no answers.

She found her two comrades in deep discussion with the librarians. Having gotten over the initial impulse to pretend that nothing had changed, the librarians now wanted to learn what they should do. They hung onto every word as Yahiko explained that his clone knew things about psychic powers and might agree to form a club with them. Nagato was not needed at the moment, so he approached Konan and quietly asked, "What results did you receive?"

"None," she replied. "It seemed as if my query was being deliberately ignored."

"I wondered if that might happen," he replied, sounding entirely unsurprised. "We can no longer count on convenience for everything. We must fend for ourselves."

"I suppose that's correct. We will handle otherworldly visitors as they come," Konan agreed. "But one of my random nonresults was vaguely interesting." She told him about Conway's game of life.

Yahiko finally disengaged himself from the knot of librarians. The librarians returned to their work and the visitors left the library. Nagato repeated Konan's words to Yahiko. "Well, at least we were able to establish contact with the librarians," Yahiko replied. "Librarians and a church group: not bad for one morning!"

It was actually the afternoon by then. They found a discreet location and used their return-to-base seals. In a moment, they were standing in the lobby. The dolls were trying to stand on each other's heads and walk across the room. They formed an unstable column held together by the magical equivalent of rolls of duct tape. At the sudden disturbance, this column fell apart, spilling dolls onto the floor. "They almost had it," Kakuzu muttered. He leaned against the lobby desk directly in front of the lamp, supervising.

The dolls climbed onto each other's heads again. The top of the topmost doll's head came to Konan's chin. They stood still, the column wobbling back and forth, looking at the humans from this new perspective. After a minute, they disassembled and reformed the column so that a new doll could enjoy being almost on eye level.

Kakuzu pulled out his notebook. "So it's confirmed?"

"Not exactly," Konan replied. "The mayor was more comfortable with Yahiko's relatively ordinary appearance. They both shall occupy the role of Regional Guardian, with Yahiko as the public face of it." Kakuzu wrote this down.

"Have you seen Itachi's message?" he asked.

"Yes," Nagato replied. "However, it is of little use."

"The supposed law? Itachi thought the same. But this book he found and the way it contradicts the supposed law: that might be of some use."

"A book?"

Konan pulled out her phone. "Itachi mentioned a book. Here it is: 'a book I have found that is researchable online, but only barely. Its online entry exists, but is missing crucial pieces of information. It seems to be caught in a limbo state.'"

Yahiko frowned. "If it's only partly censored, does that mean we can only partly receive visitors from it? How would that work?"

"How did Itachi find this book?" Konan murmured.

"Deidara did, actually," Kakuzu told her. "He's talking about the book that Deidara found yesterday while experimenting."

Konan looked up sharply. "Any result that narrative convenience brings to our attention can be considered not merely uncensored, but actively promoted."

"So, not partly censored," Yahiko concluded. "Simultaneously censored and promoted. But those are two opposite things. How can one book be both?"

Kakuzu looked at the ceiling. "Itachi's practicing a new song on the roof. Shall I fetch him?"

"No," Konan replied. "Our ongoing projects take precedence. I shall contact Soye. Nagato, Yahiko, write up an official code of conduct. Kakuzu, where is Clone Hidan?"

"I sent him out to meditate and haven't seen him since. Most likely he received no danger signals during his meditation, concluded all was well, and went romping in the forest."

"Hmm… For this task, you will suffice. Fetch our house rules and join Nagato and Yahiko. Many of our house rules were written with the intention of calming parties who would otherwise fear us. It would make a good template."

Kakuzu nodded. He, Nagato and Yahiko went off. Konan turned to the dolls. "Warlic, Solis, Manta, Little One. Thanks to Itachi, we now know that you and the books are the only visitors we will ever receive from your world. No character will ever be world cloned here, and neither will any visit us. You are the only users of your particular kind of magic. I am sorry."

The dolls didn't act upset. They didn't understand. Even so, Konan knelt and gave them all hugs. The dolls waved their arms happily and lined up at her feet when she stood. She took a single step. They followed. Konan's heart melted. I showed them affection, and they are responding with loyalty. I cannot punish this behavior by sitting and staring at my phone. But I must contact Soye. What am I to do?

A lightbulb flashed in her mind. "Excuse me while I contact a friend," she told them. She sent Soye a single short text. Soon after, she received an equally short reply. Konan smiled.

In vampire territory

Arranging a location promised to be the most complicated part. It was daytime, after all. Konan hoped to resolve that question in person. She led the dolls on a walk through the overgrown plant life between their street and the abandoned houses, telling them along the way what would be expected of them. As she was wrapping up her explanation, the demon boy appeared. "Sounds fun!" he exclaimed. "I'll help!"

"Thank you," Konan replied. "I'm sure she will want to see how they perform within the confines of a basement, but being able to move them outside if we wish will be a great help."

She found Soye's house and knocked on the door. Soye opened it immediately. The house faced away from the afternoon sun, but even so she was as covered-up as possible. The demon boy waved to get her attention, then generated a giant sunshade above the house. He had done this once before to allow the vampires to safely observe a training battle. Soye visibly relaxed. She closely examined the dolls, who saluted. "Lead them as you will," Soye commanded, stepping away from the door.

Konan led the dolls into the house. They focused on the one visible bookshelf in the living room. However, it held no books; it was entirely unused. The dolls all acted perplexed. "Remember, this house is special," Konan told them. "There are no books. I did not bring you here to read." The dolls turned aimlessly to look in various directions. They needed a goal. Konan caught Soye's eye and indicated as much. Soye nodded.

Konan led the way down the stairs. Soye brought up the rear so that she could watch the dolls. If they caused any trouble, there was no telling what sorts of consequences would occur. Thankfully, the dolls did not cause any trouble. They and the demon boy all stood straight and acted very serious, as children did when impressed by formality. Soye's basement was wide open, with four-fifths of its space clear of obstacles. The remaining one-fifth was sealed off by a single dividing wall with a door. Soye directed the dolls to stand in a line in the middle of this giant rectangle, and Konan and the demon boy to stand aside out of the dolls' sight. Soye stood in front of the dolls and gave them a Very Serious look. "Your caretaker tells me that you can be trained. However, so far there have been only meager attempts to do so. You continue to run wild like feral children. That will not do. If you dolls have intelligence, let me see it. If you can think, prove it. Until you do, you have no value in my eyes."

The dolls glanced at each other. They were not used to being talked to in this way and probably did not understand. That will change.

"Face me," Soye ordered sharply. The dolls did so. "First, you will learn to obey basic movement commands. The first command is 'Heel.'"

In half an hour, Soye taught the dolls to follow at a person's heel, line up and face sideways like an audience, line up in single file, sit and stand. The dolls still did not understand Soye's serious tone; they seemed to think this was a fun game. As long as they obeyed commands, Soye said nothing.

When the dolls had demonstrated obedience of basic movement commands, Soye commanded them to sit. She then spoke with Konan and the demon boy. "Demon, will you make it possible to train them outside?" The boy nodded. Her hard eyes flicked over to Konan. "Let us discover the full extent of their discipline."

Konan used the movement commands to make the dolls follow her out to the house's overgrown backyard, which the demon boy fully enclosed with his sunshade. The dolls' impressed mood was fading. They would soon get bored and begin to make trouble. Konan wondered how Soye intended to handle them. Would methods that worked on a kitten work on dolls?

"Line up in audience," Soye commanded. The dolls lined up side by side. "Now you will learn basic commands relating to magic. You will learn and you will obey, for as long as I insist. This lesson ends when I tell you to sit, and not before." The dolls, again, did not seem to understand. They have been trained into laziness. It will take time to train them out of it. What a shame it is that they were created by members of such a slovenly group. We never would have allowed them to degenerate so far. "If any doll fails to obey a command promptly, your leader, the one called Warlic, will be imprisoned." The demon boy created a small black cage behind Soye, within the dolls' sight. "He will be released after five commands have been obeyed perfectly." The dolls shuffled, but did not seem as bothered as they should have been. That will change. "Your first command is 'Lift.'"

Immediately it became apparent that using verbal commands to control their magic would be much more complicated than controlling their movements. When she taught them the 'Lift' command, they all used their powers of levitation on the same target at once. This did not affect the outcome of the magic, but Soye knew it would be necessary to have each doll do separate tasks sometimes. She invited Konan to join the training, as she had difficulty remembering which doll had which name. Konan soon taught the dolls to respond to commands preceded by their name and to ignore commands preceded by a name that was not theirs. She then commanded them to line up in audience, giving herself an opportunity to quietly converse with Soye. Should the dolls be taught to use their magic simultaneously when all of them were named, or when no name was given? They decided to teach the dolls to respond that way when all four names were used. Konan's scatterbrained groupmates would remember that better.

As Soye practiced individualized commands, the dolls' attention started to wander. Dolls that were not being commanded would look around. Soye caught Little One taking an interest in a patch of clover. "Little One, lift the branch," she called. Little One jumped, returned to his former position and levitated the branch. Soye narrowed her eyes. "Little One, I did not ask you to jump or walk. Performing unasked-for actions before obeying a command is tardiness. Warlic must be imprisoned." The demon boy used his own powers to levitate Warlic into the little cage and slam it shut. Warlic pounded at the bars, but could not escape. His magic had no effect on them. "He will stay imprisoned until five commands in a row have been obeyed perfectly, with no tardiness." Now the dolls look bothered. They jumped and waved their arms in protest. "Line up in audience." The dolls reluctantly settled into a line. One.

"Little One, lift the branch." Little One levitated the branch. Two.

"Little One, move the branch to the top of that bush." Little One did so. Three.

"Solis, lift the rock." Solis levitated a large rock into the air. Four. Warlic was only one command away from release.

"Solis, move the rock to the patch of bare dirt." Solis did so. Soye nodded to the demon boy. "That is five. Release Warlic." The demon boy opened one side of the cage. Warlic ran out to rejoin his companions. "Line up in audience."

Less than five minutes passed before there was another instance of tardiness. Soye started to teach the command 'Portal' on Konan's recommendation. She combined the dolls' names with movement commands to space them out across the yard, then had one doll at a time portal to another's location and walk back to their own. Manta's attention wandered. When she called out, "Manta, portal to Solis," he turned around to face Solis before doing so. "Manta, you turned before obeying my command. That is tardiness. Warlic must be imprisoned."

This time, the dolls protested much more vigorously. Manta tried to blast the cage open. When that didn't work, he tried to flip it over. Solis jumped in place before fetching the branch and trying to help. Blasting, flipping and hitting with a branch all had the same effect on the cage: none whatsoever. Soye stood and silently watched. After perhaps ten minutes, the dolls lowered their weapons and stopped their magic, looking very sad.

"Line up in audience," Soye commanded. The dolls reluctantly did so. "That was a completely unnecessary waste of time and effort. I told you how to free your friend: obey five commands perfectly. You could have done so in less than a minute. He would have been free all this time instead of standing in that cage."

Manta waved his arms angrily. Soye paid no attention. Her face remained as strict as ever. So Manta summoned a fireball.

Soye lunged across the yard so fast that Konan's trained eyes could not follow. She kicked Manta in the chest, knocking him back several feet. Before he could react, she had one boot planted on his stomach. "For threatening your instructor, Warlic's bail has been raised to ten perfectly obeyed commands. In a row. Further threats will raise his bail by another five commands, per threat. Using magic on me will raise his bail permanently."

Manta struggled, but did not use his magic, so Soye simply stood and let him. The other dolls, including Warlic, looked on in horror. When Manta stopped struggling, Soye removed her boot. The doll sat up slowly. He hung his head, looking like the saddest doll in the whole sorrowful world. Soye glanced at Solis and Little One. They backed away. Strange. Why should physical punishment have such a strong effect on them? They are made of cloth; they do not feel pain. Manta rejoined his companions by running into their arms. Solis and Little One embraced him. One could almost hear them saying, There, there. Soye scoffed. You would think they'd never been kicked before.

It took a few seconds for the lightbulb to flash. Is it possible that they have never experienced physical punishment before?

Soye watched Warlic pound on his bars helplessly while Manta all but cried. They haven't. In all the instances of trouble that they have caused, they have never once had a hand or foot laid on them. But they are dolls! They cannot be hurt! I only kicked him to interrupt his fireball; I did not intend it to have any meaning. Why has no one ever been firm with them? Why have they softened into such - such - children!

Because that was how they were seen. Soye remembered: the Akatsuki considered the dolls to be children. They did not think of the dolls as little warriors, therefore did not treat them as such, and consequently the dolls did not think of themselves that way either. The dolls became what they were expected to be, and the expectations placed on them were too low.

Soye met Konan's gaze. Konan, at least, knew to stand still and take her shame like a true warrior. "This is what you have made them," Soye said.

"Yes," Konan replied, averting her eyes. "The others of my group see nothing wrong with it. They will not change their ways."

"They will if they are made to. In the meantime, so as to save these dolls from further corruption, you must bring them back here for training every day for the next week." Soye's voice was firm and full of disappointment. Konan could do nothing but nod.

This is the most shameful thing I have ever seen. Soye returned to her place. Training the dolls was an imposition, but she simply could not allow this sorry state of affairs to continue. This was a vampire's version of charity. "Stand. Line up in audience. Very good: eight more, and Warlic will be freed."

.

A/N: My attempts to impose a regular exercise routine on my powerful but undisciplined body have not succeeded. I am strongly considering taking martial arts classes. Having a teacher always helps me with such things.

Konan's I feel lucky searches are genuine searches that I performed. Conway's game of life looks really interesting! I need to press that button more often.

And I still don't know what's going on with that book.

Hee hee! ^_^