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The next afternoon found Rogue sitting alone in the dining room doing her homework. All she wanted was a nice, quiet place to spread out her mass of assignments and study in peace. Granted, there were quieter places to study right after school, but she needed some extra space and the library was always too crowded.
Of course, the dining room had nothing to do with its proximity to the foyer and the incoming mail. Luckily she had her ancient CD Player to block out the noise of frequent kitchen visitors looking for a snack.
"Hey Rogue," Roberto called as he entered the dining room. "How - how's it going?" He waited a moment for an answer before noticing her headphones.
"Oh," he muttered quietly as he headed for the kitchen and the fridge, "Never mind."
Rogue sighed as the door to the kitchen swung shut behind him. It wasn't that she didn't like Roberto; she just ... didn't want to talk to him.
Putting down her pencil, Rogue pressed her palms into her eyes. What was wrong with her anyhow? Why couldn't she just get over herself and be NORMAL?
"Because you're a freak," a voice hissed from inside her mind. It was full of anger and hatred - unrecognizable and barely even human.
"You shouldn't be around them. You are dangerous, a killer, you will kill them all."
With a minute whimper, Rogue's hands slid up to her ears, pressing the buds of her music player deeper to block out the voice.
"They fear you," it came again, even louder. "They know what you are, what you will become."
Rogue tried to block it, to put up her walls, but the voice echoed in her mind like a steel prison.
"You are not a person - not a girl, not a woman to be loved. You are a freak among freaks - a weapon to be used and discarded. No one could love a monster like you. You are a killer, a demon in human form. Your friends will scream your name as you murder them..."
"Rogue!"
With a yelp, Rogue shot up from the table, flinging her chair and CD player in the process. The heavy wooden chair thumped against the wall behind her, crushing her music device as it crashed to the floor.
Kitty stopped abruptly in the doorway, a small white box in her hands. "Wow, Rogue, are you like, okay?"
Breathing heavily Rogue glanced around, taking note of the damage she had caused. The wall was dented from the weight of her chair and the music player appeared to be in several pieces.
How was she going to cover for this? "Yah," she stammered, "I just, um..."
Kitty giggled nervously. "That's like, the first time I've ever scared you!"
Rogue stared quietly at Kitty and the flock of girls behind her. She managed a small, reassuring smile. "Yah," she fibbed, "you uh, you got me good, Kit."
She snatched up her CD player from the floor, trying to keep her shaking hands busy. With a nervous laugh she let the shattered device dangle from her clenched fist.
"You got me REAL good..."
Kitty's expression changed from nervous humor to abject horror. "Oh my gosh! Rogue I am SO sorry! Really I am. I totally didn't mean to scare you like that, I was just really excited to give you your mail and I..."
"What?" Rogue asked, pausing as she started to gather her school work from the table. "What mail?"
Kitty cautiously held out the small box she'd been holding. It was a simple white post office shipping box about five inches wide and nine inches long.
"There's no name or address or anything," Kitty added.
Rogue gave her friend a scathing look as she dumped the last of her books in her backpack.
"Not on the outside anyhow," Kitty protested, raising her free hand above her head in innocence. "I didn't peek, I swear."
Rogue heaved her school bag over her shoulder and carefully reached for the box, her heart thumping harder. He'd sent her another gift - just as Mandy promised. Biting her lip, she tried not to let her emotions show, tried not to hope that...
"If he knew you - truly knew you - he would fear you, just like all the others," that same voice from before stilled her hand before she could take the box from her friend.
"She isn't your friend," it continued, "you have no friends. They are toying with you - making up a fantasy to humiliate you." The hissing continued as Rogue closed her eyes and took a step back from Kitty. "See how they watch you, waiting to mock you with their little game? They know, they ALL know - no one could love a monster like you."
Inhaling sharply, Rogue slammed her mental blocks into place, securing her mind from... whoever it was. She opened her eyes just in time to see Kitty reaching for her arm.
"Don't touch me!" the Southerner shouted, jumping clear of Kitty's hand. Her back slammed painfully into the dining room table and she forced herself not to cry out.
Kitty, along with the other girls hiding in the doorway, jumped back as well.
"Rogue," Kitty whispered, "are you...?"
"Ah'm fine!" Rogue growled angrily at the petite brunette. Kitty could never be so cruel could she?
Boldly, Tabitha pushed through the crowd of girls and stood next to Kitty. Her hands were on her hips, a look of concern and defiance written on her face.
"No need to go all psycho on your friends Rogue - we just wanted to give you your stupid mail." The blonde took the box from Kitty and tossed it to Rogue.
Psycho? Rogue thought. That was good coming from Boom Boom. She was right though; everyone thought that she, Rogue, WAS psycho - driven crazy by the voices in her head. Even Kitty, her "friend" thought so. The look on her face right now proved it.
With dark eyes and a pained scowl, Rogue shoved the two girls aside and headed for her room. The rest of the girls in the doorway leapt back as she headed their way.
"Ah have no friends," she bit out as she passed, leaving them speechless in her wake. The last thing she heard as she stalked up the stairs in the foyer was a choked sob from Kitty, one of the few people she actually did consider a friend.
XXX
Rogue had scarcely made it to the safety of her room before the guilt and agony began gnawing at her. With a sigh, she dropped her backpack at her feet and locked the door - generally a useless gesture in a house full of mutants - before wandering over to the mirror on her dresser.
Dropping the package, she rested her gloved hands on the polished wood. The German cuckoo clock -a gift from Kurt - stood silent from its place on the edge of the dresser. It was a nice gift, expensive to be sure, but she really didn't care much for the constant ticking. It was noisy enough in her head already.
As she thought about her brother's gift, however, her attention drifted to the new package. Trying to ignore the white box, Rogue instead focused on her reflection. Somewhere, locked away in her brain was the cause of her stabbing guilt - that voice that had caused her to lash out at Kitty in the first place.
Rogue locked gazes with her reflection and willed the voice to come again. She wanted to stamp it out and be rid of it without involving anyone else. The other students already thought she was a loose cannon, and the Professor was busy enough with all the anti-mutant craziness.
Instead of the voice, however, she was met only with herself. Her skin was pale, as it always was, but it currently had a sallow and sickly tone as well. Dull grey eyes glared back at her from dark, sunken sockets and her lips and mouth were pinched and pale behind her purple lipstick.
Rogue knew she certainly FELT terrible, but she wondered when she had started looking like it too. She COULD try to take a sick day, but she was already behind on all her schoolwork and the Professor would want to do another psych evaluation.
No, she would just tough it out and get some extra sleep instead.
Biting her lip, Rogue picked up the small white box as her attention drifted. She turned to lean against the dresser so she could examine the gift more closely, but stopped suddenly to look around the room.
Her eyes darted around, seeking out an intruder or spy of some sort. She could swear she was being watched...
As she glanced around, however, she found that everything was exactly as it should be. Her bed was still made from this morning - just the way she liked it with the hunter green comforter pulled down on one side. The alarm clock glared 4:30 in bright red from its perch on the nightstand, and her telescoping reading lamp was in the same odd angle as last night.
The Anne Rice book with her Amy Brown bookmark lay between the clock and the lamp just as they should be. Her Alanis Morisette posters (gifts from 'the girls') were still in the same spots on opposite walls next to her balcony. The black curtains covering the french doors were mostly shut so only a small beam of light shown into the room.
Across from the foot of her bed, the white sliding closet doors were open on the left side as they always were. At least, as they were since two years ago when Bobby had jumped out and scared her half to death...
Rogue smiled a little, remembering how he had walked around for a week with two black eyes and a broken nose.
Taking a deep breath, she tried to relax. She was just being paranoid. No one was watching her. No one cared about her dumb little box except those dumb, gossipy girls, and they were probably all downstairs right now laughing at how dumb and gullible she was.
They had probably planned this whole elaborate ruse just to trick her. Heck, Bobby had probably even volunteered to help!
"Arrgh!" Rogue screamed angrily and threw the box at the balcony doors. "Ah hate them! Ah hate them all!" she yelled at the slightly bent box lying on the floor. With clenched fists, she stood breathing heavily as she let her anger boil over.
She wanted to make them pay. She wanted them to hurt for tricking her - for making her believe that someone actually... She wanted to take their memories, and their powers, and their very lives and...
"Oh mah god!" Rogue gasped and covered her mouth with her hands.
"You see?" The voice returned as Rogue trembled, tears pooling in her eyes. "You DO want to hurt them," it told her as she backed into the corner by the dresser.
"No," Rogue protested weakly, her hands now clasped over her ears.
"Yes," it hissed, creeping deeper into the far reaches of her mind. "You want to kill them."
"NO!" She yelled this time, shaking her head violently in her hands. "Ah don't want to hurt anyone. Leave me alone!"
"You said it yourself. You want them to pay for it. You want to take their souls..." The voice - that deep, sinister voice - reverberated in Rogue's skull and threatened to drive her mad.
"Who are you?" Rogue yelled aloud in her empty room. "What do you want with me?!" With her hands still over her ears, she staggered toward the door, desperate now for the help she had shunned just moments ago.
Stumbling as her vision began to darken, the voice laughed deep within her skull, making the room spin violently.
Rogue made one last, desperate grab for the door and fell short, slumping against the dresser instead. As she dropped against the smooth surface she felt her German Clock start to fall as well, but she never heard it hit the floor as she began to lose consciousness.
The last thing she did hear was someone softly calling her name and turning the lock from inside her room.
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In the dining room Kitty tried desperately to hold back tears as her "friend" brushed her aside. Before Rogue was out of earshot, however, Amara placed a gentle hand on Kitty's shoulder and inadvertently unleashed the floodgates.
A wrenching sob shivered through the brunette's body with enough force to nearly make her sick. Within moments the other girls were all surrounding her with sympathetic hugs and reassuring words.
"She doesn't mean it," Amara soothed.
"Aie, she's just in another bad mood," Rahne piped in. "She'll be back to herself again soon."
"Yeah girl," Jubilee added as they all moved back to give Kitty some breathing space. "She's probably upstairs feeling guilty already."
As Kitty met the supportive expressions of the other girls, she felt slightly better and wiped her eyes. She gave a watery smile to the sympathetic group.
Amara quickly produced a tissue from her ever-present designer handbag, and the valley girl graciously accepted. Sometimes it was nice having so many girls to rely on for emotional therapy.
"What a crock of crap!"
All eyes turned to stare at Boom Boom.
"Tabitha!" Amara admonished the blonde quickly.
"Oh don't give me that look," Tabitha went on, leaning against the table as she rolled her eyes at the other girls. "We all know that wasn't Rogue's 'bad mood.' That was just Rogue – regular, everyday Rogue. Rogue in a good mood just isn't Rogue."
She made a wide flourish toward the foyer, letting Rogue's haughty departure speak for her. "Why do you think no one noticed when Mesmero brainwashed her last year?"
"That's not…" Kitty tried to defend the Southerner, but her heart wasn't really in it, and Tabitha continued.
"Come ON, Pryde. Grow up and smell the roses – they're black and rancid, just like her." There was a hint of humor in the blonde's voice, but she was touching on sensitive topics now and it seemed all respect was quickly being thrown out the window.
Kitty frowned, but the others simply stared at their feet sheepishly.
Tabitha rambled on, emboldened by their silence, while Kitty's temper flared. "I swear that girl is just hopeless. I don't know why the Professor even bothers with her anymore. She doesn't want anyone's help – she'd rather just be miserable."
The blonde had everyone's undivided attention, but was completely oblivious to their lack of participation. She was beginning to toe the proverbial line, but apparently couldn't see it. "The way she sulks around and bites everyone's heads off is getting really old. I swear she should just embrace her 'I wish I were dead' attitude and either go for it or get over it. At least then the rest of us could…"
Tabitha never finished her rant as Kitty's fist interrupted her face. Everyone gasped and jumped back, but not surprisingly, no one rushed to the blonde's defense.
"Don't you DARE talk about her like that!" Kitty seethed as Tabby fell to the floor, crying out in pain and surprise. The other girls simply watched as the little brunette towered over Boom Boom, who was muttering explicatives as she held her cheek.
"You have no idea what kind of hell she goes through every day. None of us do. How dare you judge her! Everyone has demons and Rogue's got 'em all. Every time she touches one of us she carries around all our crap forever!"
Kitty was shouting and sobbing simultaneously, tears streaming down her furious red face. The other girls hung their heads, ashamed at themselves for their own private thoughts.
"Of everyone here, Tabitha, I'd think that you of all people would be compassionate to her situation. I can't believe that with all the crap you've dealt with – with your deadbeat dad and all – that you'd be so quick to judge her."
Tabitha finally stood and glared murderously at Kitty. "Oh, deadbeat dad, huh? I outta…"
Boom Boom was once again interrupted however, by another participant.
"Tabitha, Kitty, a word if you please?" The group of girls instantly parted to reveal Professor Xavier waiting patiently in the doorway, a very displeased look cast upon his weathered face.
The remaining girls immediately scattered in every which direction, eager to excuse themselves from the tense situation. Xavier took a deep breath. He supposed this was just one of the many drawbacks to having so many young women living in the same house – certain… hormonal changes… were bound to occur at the same time and cause emotions to run higher than usual.
He cleared his throat as the girls stared at the floor. "Despite the nature of your argument, you both know my expectations regarding civility toward one another. I'm very disappointed in both of you."
Turning to Boom Boom first, he continued. "Tabitha – your casual disregard for the discomfort and turmoil of others is quite distressing. I would suggest you take more time to get to know someone on a more personal level before passing judgment. Indeed, it is never our place to judge another in any circumstance – especially when you consider the fight we constantly endure just to exist in a world that is already so full of hate and judgment."
The blonde visibly shrank under the Professor's scrutiny and he felt the shame wash over her in waves.
"As for you, Kitty," Xavier continued, "frankly I'm shocked that you would react in such an uncharacteristic manner toward anyone, particularly a teammate. I've never known you as one to lash out at others, even when personally provoked.
"As for consequences, and I'm sure you're both already aware they are well-deserved, you shall …"
KABOOM!
This time, Professor Xavier was unable to finish his sentence as an explosion echoed from the dormitories upstairs. Kitty and Tabitha jumped, and Xavier immediately placed his hands to his temples, trying to locate the source.
"In her room - Rogue!" he yelled both aloud and mentally, sending out a distress call to everyone in the building.
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