Original Posted On Jan. 31, 2023
Beta Read by: Crowfeast, Darlord331
Review Response:
Gold Testament: That would be fun if that was what I was planning.
Bednarczykmiki: Yes, Kurama is here.
MichaelTheFox: Yep, Naruto did kick ass. Look at his fight against the Exorcist and Tundra, you see a drastic difference between how he fought then and now. This chapter will be a good one, I promise you that.
Gamelover41592: Thank you, I had a lot of fun with the fight and the dialogue.
StrongGuy159: Hm… people want that so badly.
Haxorus Kitsune: I will, thank you.
Animecollector: Everyone should be worried about Kurama.
Jebest4781: This chapter is radically different from the last two, but it is none the less enjoyable.
Chronosign: I know, but this guy has one R.
DaftMerc39: She swallowed it. Tundra got freedom because of her death. Yeah, Loona smacked Naruto's butt with her tail. Technically, Loona never met Stark, so why would they go on a man hunt for him? Yeah, I should have made it 3-6 months. Oh, Stolas would be so angry Blitz 'cheated' on him.
Nathair1: Kurama's plan will be revealed at a later date, don't worry.
MEATBICYCLE: Thank you for the Husker Idea, I planned on the next part to have a casino in it, but didn't think of adding Husker until you mentioned it. Thank you.
Exia Zero: The Cerberus from Dirge of Cerberus?
Guest: No, she isn't related to Naruto.
ShadowBloodedge9396: I thought about Tundra being redeemable, but without set up, PROPER set up, it would feel stupid, so I went with how I introduced her… a bitch.
StarDustDragonknight: Yes, Stark did get off easy.
Wolf Mike: Thank you.
Dark Claw: No one liked Tundra.
Nicholas: Yep, training with Vortex and Millie has paid off greatly. Yes, why rob Jayjay's vengeance. Don't worry about it. You are pretty close with that assessment.
Ice: Yeah, it would fucking hurt. As someone who has a tooth forcefully pulled out, root and all, it is like that.
Heavy Weaponsguy: Yes, Tundra is dead.
Medic: LOL, that is hilarious.
Redtooth: You liked her one-liners?
Pyro: To Human Fire, yes. Hellfire or Holy fire, no.
Crosstooth: Didn't cross my mind. Blitz should have shouted that.
Clueless Morgan: LOL, I need to use that line.
Calamity Coyote: OH, that would be fun. For real, I love the two Deadpool movies.
Pickle Rick: Maybe, but in the future. Kiba and Hinata will get what is coming to them.
OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR HELLUVA BOSS!
"Hey" = Speaking
'Hey' = Thinking
'Hey' = Memory
"Hey"= To be Determined
Chapter 35: Meeting the Mentor
Goetia Castle…
"Alright, thanks for all the help again, Octavia." Naruto thanked as he got Blitz in the car, Loona waiting for him in the driver seat.
"No problem, JUST don't make it a habit please?" Octavia asked him as she had a begging look in her eyes.
Naruto felt a tinge of guilt in his gut.
"Uh… I can't really…" Naruto bit his tongue. "I promise."
Octavia knew he didn't mean it, but understood he would try.
"Alright, I'll hold you to it." She said as Naruto buckled Blitz into the seat, the passed-out imp being a limp noodle.
"Later, Octavia." Naruto said as he got in the van passenger seat and Loona drove off.
"She has you by the balls." Loona joked as they exited the area.
"She has a point." Naruto groaned as he pulled out his phone and pulled up Verosika's messages. "I'm gonna text Vee and let her know we are okay."
"Sure, sweety." Loona said as she leaned over and kissed his cheek.
Dry Fuck Studios…
Verosika had seen better days.
She walked around her room anxiously wearing white panties and a white tank top.
Heavy bags under her eyes and her hair a mess as she paced through out her room.
'I hope they are…' She thought, eyes widening when she heard her phone go off.
Jumping onto her bed and grabbing her phone, she saw that Naruto had texted her.
Just got patched up, all safe and sound. ~NU
Under it was a picture of Naruto and Loona, with Blitz's foot behind the driver seat being noticeable.
After we drop Boss off at home, you want us to come over? ~NU
YES! Please, I miss you. ~VM
Alright, cutie, we will be there in an hour. ~NU
Verosika felt a huge weight lift itself from her shoulders as she got up, smiling brightly.
"Oh, I better start getting ready…"
*RING, RING*
"Hello?" Verosika said as she answered her phone.
"Sup, girl." A thick accented voice said on the other side that sent an uncomfortable shiver up Verosika's spine. "You haven't called in a while so I decided to call you."
"W-well… I've been busy…" Verosika stammered.
"Busy as in snacking on a new boy toy?"
"How'd…"
"Instagram and Facebook."
"Fuck…" Verosika face palmed.
"So, when do I get to meet him? I have some free time this week so why not bring him over and we can go gamble?"
"I'll ask… just don't get your hopes up." Verosika replied, feeling anxious again.
"Alright, I can't wait to find out, Cao."
The caller hung up and Verosika loudly groaned before dropping back onto her bed.
'God damn it.' She thought.
Sighing, Verosika got off of her bed and headed to the shower.
Twenty Minutes Later…
"Alright, you horned bastard, get into bed." Loona said as she dropped Blitz into his bed.
Blitz, dead to the world, snored loudly as he snuggled into his blanket.
Loona sighed as she looked at her foster father.
"Sleep well, dead beat." She whispered as she patted his head.
Blitz smiled in his sleep.
Loona left his room, being careful to not make loud noises before she left the apartment.
"Is he okay?" Naruto asked as he looked at his messages to Millie and Moxxie, letting them know he and Loona would be heading to Verosika's.
"Yeah, sleeping like a bastard." Loona said as she got in the driver seat and started the car.
Naruto frowned at that wording.
'Whatever.' He thought with an eyeroll as Loona drove off, heading to Dry Fuck Studio.
"What did Millie and Fatty say about you staying out late?" Loona asked as she lit a cigarette.
"Millie didn't met, but Moxxie said I should go home now, but I am going to hang with my women." Naruto said as he smiled.
Loona smiled, exhaling smoke from her nose.
"Love you too, my World." Loona replied.
Naruto deadpanned.
"You smoke?"
"Yeah, on and off." Loona replied as she put the item back in her mouth.
"Watashi o yoko ni fakku shite, watashi o bō ni nosete kudasai." Naruto said in disapproval as he shook his head.
Skip…
"I am so sorry I couldn't help." Verosika apologized as she entered the van, kissing Naruto and Loona's cheeks as she pulled them into a hug.
"Don't be sorry, Vero." Naruto said into her boob. "If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have been able to find Loona."
"I know… but…"
Loona laughed at the popstar, causing Verosika to frown.
"What's so funny?" She asked the hellhound.
"Just wondering why you even HAD an account to Net-Chix…" Loona said as she smirked, looking at Verosika in the back of the van through the rear-view mirror.
Verosika's cheeks went red, a look of shame etched onto her face.
"I've… made some shady decisions… in the past…" She admitted.
Naruto lightly flicked Loona in the forehead.
"Knock it off…" He stated.
Loona smirked as she drove.
"Anyway, Vero, where do you want to eat?" Naruto asked Verosika, turning to see Verosika applying magic to her appearance.
Her long straw blonde hair was now an inky black with her breasts now smaller and a bigger butt. Her eyes now a lime-emerald green that seemed to glow.
"It's a disguise, hon." Verosika replied as she checked herself out in a small hand mirror. "If I just went out on a date the media would be on us like stink on shit. Thus, disguise. As to where to eat…"
Skip…
"… I shouldn't be surprised there is a Golden Corral in Hell." Naruto admitted as they entered the restaurant.
"Good, Hell has many things that the Living world has." Loona told him as they walked through and made a b-line for the food.
"Naruto, I have a question." Verosika asked as they grabbed plates and started to pile food onto them.
"Shoot." Naruto said with a chunk of chicken in his mouth.
"My… mentor called me… and wants to meet you." Verosika said in embarrassment.
"Your mentor?" Naruto asked in confusion.
"Yeah, Jack Cash. I swear I told you while we were in the Human World." Verosika said as she thought about that time.
"Yeah, she did." Loona said as she pulled out her phone, doing a quick search. "This is Jack Cash, better known as JK$$."
Naruto looked at Loona's phone… and deadpanned.
It was a picture of an old poster.
On it was a shirtless incubus demon with thin, yet muscled arms and torso, revealing that he had several dollar sign tattoos. He wore 70's style bellbottomed pants that were tie-dyed (Acid Green, Black, and Teal Blue). He wore a triangle theme headband around his short black curled hair that formed a messy pompadour with his short horns on the side of his head. He had a star painted onto his right eye while he wore black circular glasses. He wore white cowboy boots with black studs that made dollar signs.
He was also smoking a joint with his mouth that was mounted under a thin mustache within that perfect jawline.
In his arms was a diamond coated guitar that caused a glistening affect on the rest of the poster.
Under his feet were men and women forming a mountain for him to stand on.
JC$$, the Incubus Popstar
Performing in the Gluttony Ring for his 'Love and Lust' Tour
Buy your tickets now or miss the reveal of
JC$$'s new trainee:
Verosika Mayday
'He looks like he is trying to be David Bowie, Jimi Hendricks, John Lennon, Paul Stanley, Prince, and Elvis…' Naruto thought as he picked up the hints of each musician he listed off.
"So, your mentor wants to meet me?" Naruto asked in confusion as they made their way to a table to eat. "Why?"
"I told you before, after my parents died, Jack became a parental figure in my life." Verosika said as they sat down and started eating. "It is because of him that I was able to become as famous as I am. Usually, I call and visit him every six or so months, but…" She looked at Naruto and Loona. "I've been busy with you two."
Naruto and Loona smirked playfully.
"Anyway," Verosika said as she brought them back. "I was planning on visiting him, but he called me earlier and asked me to bring you with me. He wants to meet you…"
"Okay, but…"
Naruto paused.
'Wait, he became a parental figure… and he found out months after we started dating…'
Naruto's eyes widened.
"Oh, fuck…" He said as he felt an intense chill go up his spine, like someone shoved an icicle up his ass. "He wants to size me up to make sure I am a good enough boyfriend."
"Probably, but I've known Jack for years, and since he retired, he has chilled." Verosika said as she started eating her macaroni and cheese.
"JK$$ dropped off of the map since he retired," Loona spoke before she swallowed what she was eating. "What has he been up to?"
Verosika shrugged.
"He really got into the Cheech and Chong 'Smoke Weed Everyday' life since he retired. Shockingly, he was clean as a popstar." Verosika said as she pressed her hand into her forehead. "I can't even believe he was sober during ANY of the concerts and tours we did together. Man was a monster on stage."
Verosika leaned back, thinking of her first time being on stage with her mentor.
Jack's raw energy was infectious.
"He had wild and erratic movements, choreography, and musical talent. He wasn't much of a singer, but when he sang, panties and thongs alike would litter the stage…" Verosika explained as she returned her attention to Naruto and Loona. "… and when he would do a soft ballad style, Phew, you'd feel like your soul was cleansed, purified, then defiled by a horde of aggressively horny angels."
Naruto and Loona shuddered, with Naruto wincing in 'pain' from his healed-up wound.
"I think I've had enough of the angels for a life time." Naruto mumbled as he tapped his side. "Anyway, when were you planning on leaving to visit?"
"I was thinking of tomorrow… I mean, he lives in Pride's farm lands on the other side of this Ring, so it would be a bit of a drive." Verosika admitted, glancing at Loona. "And I would prefer if it was just the two of us, babe."
Naruto looked at Loona.
"I don't mind." Loona replied as she stood up to get seconds. "For real, I get it. Plus, trying to get time away from Blitz is a bitch, so it's better this way than to fight him, you know?"
Loona walked off to get seconds, leaving Naruto and Loona in a silence.
"Well, I guess," Naruto said as he pulled out his phone. "I better call my parents and ask about going on this trip…"
"Thank you, and sorry for it being short notice…" Verosika thanked him.
Next Afternoon…
"Thank you, and sorry for it being short notice…" Verosika thanked Millie and Moxxie as they helped her and Naruto load his suitcase into her car.
It was a Volkswagen Bus, with Verosika dressed in cliché 60's attire with a loose tie-dyed shirt that had ruffles while revealing her stomach as she wore bellbottom jeans.
Her hair once again black incase Blitz was hiding somewhere, her eyes covered with black circular glasses.
"It's okay, Ve… Vee." Moxxie caught himself. "But just make sure Naruto is on his best behavior, and no drinking… smoking…"
"Oh, don't be a party pooper Mox." Millie said as she pulled him aside gently, nuzzling his cheek. "Naruto is young and can do it IF," She glances at Verosika menacingly, with promises of pain in her eyes. "IF he wants to do it. If he is forced or peer pressured, well, then I guess we will have issues."
'Scary.' Verosika thought with a chill. "No, I promise I won't force anything onto him."
"Alright." Millie said with a bright smile. "Just bring us some souveniers and maybe some booze."
"Alright, ma'am." Verosika replied in a sigh of relief.
"Be safe." Moxxie told his son.
"I will, Mox." Naruto said as he hugged his dad.
"Love you, Fishcake." Millie said as she squeezed him. "If you fuck her, record it for me."
"MILL!" Naruto blurted out in heavy amounts of embarrassment.
Millie laughed as he jumped into the car, Verosika driving off with a wave.
"He is so fun to mess with." Millie said as she pulled out her phone. "Now, down to business."
Blitz and Loona's Apartment…
"Hello?" Loona answered sleepily as she sat up.
"Loona, it's Millie, Naruto told us about last night, and how elegant and beautiful you were using those handcuff chains as weapons." Millie said on the other side of the line.
"Oh, yeah, well, what is it you want to talk about?" Loona asked as she yawned, rubbing her eyes.
"We know someone who can help make you a chain weapon… if you want it that is?" Millie said with a tone that enticed Loona.
"Okay, where do I need to meet you?" Loona asked as she got out of bed, stretching.
Hour Later…
"Hello, welcome to my store."
"… You look like Kermit the Frog." Loona said bluntly with a deadpan.
"Well, he actually looks like me, furry." The frog said as he pointed toward himself. "My name is Kermit by the way."
! #$%^&*DevilArtemis Universe Kermit*&^%$# !
"I… I just…"
"Don't worry about it, furry. And yes, I know that you want a weapon to protect your loved one, who I know as a bestie in an alternate universe." Kermit stated nonchalantly.
"What?"
"A universe called 'Happy Hotel's Hellhound'?" Kermit asked as if it was common knowledge. "You and Naruto were childhood friends… he got adopted by Hell's Princess?"
"… What?" Loona, Millie, and Moxxie asked the frog.
Kermit sighed.
"Whatever, anyway, what kind of weapon are you looking for?" Kermit asked as he sat down, crossing a leg over his knee, looking at Loona intently. "Because with my Bullshit Powers, I have every weapon you can think of. Like those Duel Disks I made for your fuck-toy."
Loona glared and growled at Kermit's words.
"So, you made the duel disks?" Loona asked as she did her best to hide her anger.
"Yep, it's why the author specifically had a small frog logo on it." Kermit pointed out. "It was chapter 8…"
Flashback…
Hell…
"I love this new house, Millie." Moxxie said as they were in the middle of putting all of their stuff away.
With the help of some magic and the moving company, the two Imps moved into their new house.
It was a two-story home that had a small front yard, but a giant backyard.
It had two bathrooms, five rooms, a large kitchen, and was fully installed with utilities.
"Naruto will love this room, don't you think?" Millie asked her husband as they were thinking on which room Naruto should have.
"Yes, and the Queen-sized bed we ordered should be…"
*DING-DONG*
"Here." Millie finished Moxxie's statement as she rushed to the door, opening it to see the delivery man with the Queen-sized bed, and a few other items, which had a unique insignia of a familiar green frog on it. "OH, Moxxie, our delivery from our weapon guy is here!"
Flashback End…
"Just… Just give me a weapon damn it." Loona said as she stepped up to the frog.
"Alright, what do you want?" Kermit asked as he walked into the back. "We got swords…"
The Blade of Olympus, Tessaiga, Dragon Slayer, and Luke's Green Lightsaber flew past Loona.
"Guns…"
The Doom BFG, Final Fantasy Cerberus, the Portal Gun, and Half-Life Gravity gun flew past her.
"I was thinking more of a chain weapon." Loona said as she ducked under a giant saw.
"OOOOOH, that's all?" Kermit sarcastically called out as he looked at her from behind the desk. "Well, I have a few options. Mostly God of War…"
Loona watched as a length of chain hit the desk before several pairs of weapons were brought out.
"So, Kratos," Kermit asked Loona as he put his hands on the counter. "What weapon do you prefer? Blades of Chaos? Athena? Exile? Or maybe the Nemean Cestus? Or do you prefer the Nemesis Whip?"
Loona looked carefully and picked one.
"Oh, now I didn't see that choice." Kermit said as he watched Loona swing it around, getting a feel for it.
A slow smirk crossed her face.
"I'll take…"
"Two thousand dollars." Kermit interrupted.
Evening…
"So, you think we will get there tomorrow morning if you drive through the night?" Naruto asked as he ate his cheeseburger.
Verosika and Naruto had stopped at a Burger King to get dinner.
"Yeah," Verosika said as she munched on her Chicken Fries. "It will."
"But won't it be difficult?" Naruto asked her in concern. "I mean…"
"Naruto, I've done this before, so just put the chairs in the back down and go to sleep, okay?" Verosika told her beloved with a strict tone.
"Yes, Mommy." Naruto said as he sported a chubby from how she took the reins in that moment.
Verosika pursed her lips into a cocky smile.
"Well," She said as she got in close to Naruto, smirking confidently that made him shudder. "Then I guess a good boy," Naruto's ears perked up. "Should go to bed?"
Naruto shook, trying to not do what she said…
… and he failed as his ears drooped and tail wagged.
"Okay…" he said in defeat.
He ate the rest of his burger before going to the bathroom.
'I can't believe that actually works.' Verosika thought as she finished her fries before also going to the bathroom herself.
Once bladders and stomachs had been relieved, Naruto and Verosika put the seats down in the back so Naruto could lay down on an inflatable mattress.
"Good night, sweetheart." Verosika whispered to Naruto.
"Good night, my super star." Naruto replied.
Naruto kissed Verosika passionately.
Motivated, Verosika drove through the night, a never ending smile on her face from sun set to sun up.
"Morning." She said as she heard Naruto stir awake. "How'd you sleep?"
"To bumpy…" Naruto admitted as he sat up in the back, stretching. "How much longer…"
"Oh, we are here." Verosika said as she slowed the car to a stop, parking the car.
Naruto blinked as he opened the door.
The house was quite normal, but it was the FIELDS of marijuana that caused his eyes to bulge out.
"Hey, Jack, we're here." Verosika called out as she walked up the steps to the two-story house.
(The Sawyer house from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the first Movie)
The door didn't budge for several minutes before it opened, revealing Jack Cash.
Now having a massive bald spot on the top of his head due to his age and hair line receeding, with a beer gut, Jack had on overals and that was it.
His arms were still muscled, most likely due to his… farm work.
"Verosika…" he said with a thick accent, smiling to reveal he was missing a tooth. "Girl, I missed you."
He gave her a hug, which Verosika reciprocated.
"I know, Jack." She said, suddenly catching the accent. "But I got someone to introduce you too."
Naruto, carrying his and Verosika's bags, walked up the steps with a nervous smile.
"Hello, sir, I am Naruto…" Naruto greeted nervously.
Chapter 35, DONE!
Jack Cash, JK$$, is a character I created with Crowfeast's Happy Hotel's Hellhound story, please give it a read when you can.
Kermit is from the DevilArtemis Universe, so him being a weapon's dealer makes sense to me in this story as his powers are Bullshit.
Oh, and now that cliff hanger.
I know, I am evil.
If you enjoyed the chapter, please leave a review. If you hated it, leave a review anyway as it helps me become a better author.