Original Posted On Feb. 20, 2023
Beta Read by: Crowfeast, Darlord331
Review Response:
MichaelTheFox: Yeah, a lot of people like the fact I brought Jack Cash and Kermit into the story. Both will be brought back, don't worry.
Nathair1: No problem. The first and second Texas Chain Saw movies are great… everyone after depends on what you are looking for.
Jebest4781: Thank you.
ShadowBloodedge9396: Yeah, Naruto is seeing more of how Loona actually acts. Actually, no, Crowfeast didn't realize I used Jack, yet he approved after I told him. Oh, you are gonna like what happens when Jack and Naruto meet.
HellKeaper: Damn that is fucked up.
TeraelinII: I know, the DAU is amazing.
StarDustDragonknight: Zarbon: No, *Cups your cheek* it is the right time, OOOOOOOH~.
StrongGuy159: I will, sorry for the wait.
Waytodawn0: Pretty Much.
Gamelover41592: No one did, but now I can expand Jack Cash's lore.
Animecollecter: 1,000,000/10 can't wait for Hazbin Hotel.
Ren hatori: Yeah, Kermit truly has transcended time and space, breaking through dimensions is as easy as breathing.
Nicholas: Yeah, what she got is worth it bro.
Exia Zero: Hm… maybe. HEY DOES ANYONE WANT TO SEE DAU CERMIT WITH A C?
Wolf Mike: Thank you. Sorry for the long wait between chapters.
Kubz Boy: No, I haven't seen it.
Ice: Interesting.
Oilback: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH… thank you for the idea.
MEATBICYCLE: I don't know who that is.
Smoke: Hilarious, I love it.
DaftMerc39: No, Loona doesn't speak Japanese, so she doesn't know what he said. Verosika can disguise herself with magic, keep that in mind. Oh, right I need to have Naruto put powder in Blitz's Arizona tea. Millie is messing with Naruto, she is trying to be playful. Yes, and sadly, no one has guessed what weapon she will get. Love those stories. Yeah, Kermit has MULTIPLE Lightsabers, just he only threw Luke's Green saber. Dude, of course he has weapons from Ratchet and Clank. Yep, the meeting we have been waiting for, Naruto and Jack.
Brair Patch: Yep, Jack isn't gonna be an overweight fat ass drug addict hellbent on killing Verosika for taking his spot light.
Trix: I could add Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, and Rizzo.
Kaito Kitsune: Sort of. Close but not quite.
HeeHaw: I can't remember of I have, but yeah that could work if I had remembered. Sadly, Loona spent $2000 dollars.
Chronosign: Awesome, I love the idea.
The Blind Ficus: Thank you.
Ho-oH: I really want to have Shino, Gaara, and Fuu to find out but keep it secret. I think they will join DHORKS, but hide evidence to keep hell a secret. And in return they get travel passes to hell to visit Naruto and his family. But for now, it won't happen until I can make it work.
OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR HELLUVA BOSS!
"Hey" = Speaking
'Hey' = Thinking
'Hey' = Memory
"Hey"= To be Determined
Chapter 36: Devil's Luck
Jack's Patch…
"Hello, sir, I am Naruto…" Naruto greeted as he put the bags down, extending a hand.
Jack looked at the hand intensely, then Naruto's face, then his hand.
'Is… is he confused?' Naruto thought, his face losing its smile as it morphed into confusion.
Jack leaned close to Verosika, never breaking his gaze on Naruto.
"Is… is he autistic?" Jack whispered to his 'daughter'.
"What?" Verosika said, completely dumbfounded. "Of course, he isn't."
"Well, he is too nice to be a demon…" Jack whispered before his eyes widened.
Next thing Naruto and Verosika knew, Jack's hands were around Naruto's throat and he was being pushed off the porch before his back hit the ground.
"W-W-Wgy…" Naruto gagged out as his hands grabbed Jack's hands, trying to pry his fingers off.
"JACK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Verosika screamed as Jack, now sitting on top of Naruto, lifted him up a bit and slammed him back into the ground.
"MOTHER FUCKER IS AN ANGEL IN DISGUISE!" Jack screamed back. "NO ONE IS THIS NICE UNLESS…"
Jack had a heel clad foot swiftly apply itself outside his head.
Meanwhile, Pride Ring, Pentagram City Park…
Loona stood in the park with Blitz, before her was a fence with five empty beer cans.
"You can do it, honey." Blitz said with his phone recording Loona, much to her embarrassment.
Shaking it off, Loona reached to her side, grabbing the length of the chain.
She felt the weight of her weapon in her hand as she grabbed the other end of the chain, spinning the first.
With an arc swing, all five cans were torn open, each strike using magic to conjure spirit looking skulls with purple flames, and a flick of the wrist, Loona caught the weapon in her hand, the flaming skulls vanishing.
The chain was attacked with two identical hooks similar to kusarigama.
They had two hooks per hook, with a small hinge at the chain link holder to show that they could separate a small amount.
They had spikes all around from the handle, with the hook points glowing a deep purple.
*God of War 3 Claws of Hades*
"Phew, that frog wasn't kidding, weight is a small issue, but the shape really hooks into things." Loona said with pride, her tail wagging in happiness as she set up more cans.
"Aw, that's my girl." Blitz said as he continued to film Loona.
Loona rolled her eyes as she tried to force down a smile, blushing at the praise as she continued to train.
Meanwhile…
"Hahahahagyahahgahhahaha…" Jack laughed as he had a massive welt on his head as he lead Naruto and Verosika into his house, which despite its dirty exterior was well furnished and clean on the inside. "I get it, you are a newly sinner who was screwed over."
"Y-Yeah…" Naruto replied, rubbing his throat gingerly.
"I do apologize." Verosika apologized, thoroughly embarrassed at her guardian's actions. "He is not usually like this."
"It was a misunderstanding, Vero." Jack said as he led them into the lounge with a massive TV and sofa recliner chairs. "You wanna drink?"
"Yeah, I'll take a scotch on the rocks." Verosika said as she led Naruto to a chair.
"You?" Jack asked Naruto with a side glance.
"No, I don't drink. Thank you though." Naruto replied politely.
Though he deadpanned when he saw Jack visibly shudder.
"Okay, kid, you gotta stop being polite here." Jack said as he entered his kitchen, heading to his refrigerator. "Around these Rings, being nice will get you manipulated and taken advantage of. Vero, you need to beat the pussy out of him."
"More like get him in the Pussy." Naruto mumbled loudly.
Jack let out a belly laugh as he pulled out the scotch.
"That's a good one, I like you, just to nice." Jack said as he poured the drinks into nice glasses.
Naruto rolled his eyes as Verosika sat down, looking around.
There were many pictures on the wall, a fire place with pictures of himself and Verosika on the mantle.
On a corner table was a record player that played cassettes, vinyl, cd, and had a radio.
A LARGE collection of music records, cassettes, and CD's were next to said player.
An autographed guitar in a glass case was next to that.
"Wow, you sure do love music." Naruto noted as Jack entered the room.
"Yeah, it's why I made a career out of it." Jack replied as he handed Verosika her drink.
"Can you still sing?" Verosika asked smugly as she took a big drink.
Jack scoffed.
"Can I still sing?" He sarcastically asked as he walked over to his radio, and pulled out a CD.
He set the radio to CD, opened the tray and inserted the disc.
Jack took seven steps away as the CD spun, it whirring in the dish before a brief pause.
*Afroman: Because I got High*
Naruto smirked as Verosika whistled, pulling her legs up into her chair as Jack bobbed his head to the rhythm.
"~It's like I dont care about nothing man...
Roll another blunt...
Ooohh
La da da da la da da la la da da~"
Jack took a deep breathe, looking toward the ceiling.
"~I was gonna clean my room until I got high
I was gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high
My room is still messed up and I know why (why man?)~"
Jack turned to Verosika, who rolled her eyes.
"~'Cause I got high~" Verosika and Jack sang together. "~Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Naruto laughed, clapping his hands as Verosika put her drink down and stood up, sauntering over to Jack, who smiled as she did.
"~I was gonna go to class before I got high
I could'a cheated and I could'a
Passed but I got high (uh uh la la da da)
I'm takin' it next semester and I know why (why man?) (hey hey)~"
Naruto stood up and joined.
"~'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Jack held his hands up, silencing Naruto and Verosika.
"~I was gonna go to work but then I got high (ohh, ohh)
I just got a new promotion but I got high (la da da da da)
Now I'm selling dope and I know why (why man?)~"
Jack made hand wave motions, signaling Naruto and Verosika to join back in.
"~'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Jack motioned for Naruto to stop, looking at Verosika, motioning that it was her turn.
Verosika rolled her eyes.
"~I was gonna go to court before I got high
I was gonna pay my child support but then I got high (no you wasn't)
They took my whole paycheck and I know why (why man?)(yeah eh eh)~"
Naruto and Jack joined back in, all three of them making small dancing like movements to the music beat.
"~'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Jack stepped forward, Verosika and Naruto smirking as they stepped back, giving him center stage.
"~I wasn't gonna run from the cops but I was high (uh, I'm serious man)
I was gonna pull right over and stop but I was high (uh)
Now I'm a paraplegic (ha ha ha) and I know why (why man?)
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Jack stepped back, giving stage to Naruto, who nervously took it.
"~I was gonna pay my car and note until I got high (say what say what?)
I wasn't gonna gamble on the boat but then I got high (uh uh)
Now the tow truck is pullin' away and I know why (why man)
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Verosika made a 'Make Way' motion, both men stepping back as the Queen took the limelight.
"~I was gonna make love to you but then I got high (ooh) (I'm serious)
I was gonna eat your pussy too (ohhh) but then I got high
Now I'm jackin' off (ahh) and I
Know why (turn this shit off, ha ha ha)
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Naruto and Jack joined Verosika.
"~I messed up my entire life because I got high (go go go)
I lost my kids and wife because I
Got high (say what say what say what?)
Now I'm sleepin' on the side walk and I know why (why man?)
(Yeah yeah)
'Cause I got high
Because I got high
Because I got high~"
Jack made a 'sit down' motion, which Naruto accepted, short of breath and knees feeling weak from nerves as Verosika grabbed her drink and watched her mentor go to town on the vocals.
"~I'ma stop singing this song because
I'm high (raise the ceiling... baby)
I'm singing this whole thing wrong because I'm high (bring it back)
And if I don't sell one copy, I'll know why (why man?) (yeah eh eh)
Cause I'm high
Cause I'm high
Cause I'm high
La la da da da da la da da da
Shoobe do be do wa skibitty do da da da la
Get jiggy with it scubbydooby wa 'cause
I'm high, 'cause I'm high, 'cause I'm high
Yo my name is Afroman and I'm from East Palmdale (east Palmdale)
And all this jail weed I be smokin'
Is bomb as hell (excellent delivery)
I don't believe in hittin' that's what I said. Yes! (oh my goodness)
So all of you skins please give me more head... muhwahahaha muh fuck
( u) and sometimes W (hahahahaha)~"
The music faded slowly, giving Jack time to eject the CD.
"So," He said with little to No lack of breathe. "You think I can't sing anymore, young Lady?"
Verosika shrugged smugly with a cocky smirk.
"4 out of 10." She replied.
"Bitch." Jack replied as he sat down, looking at Naruto. "Surprised you know Afroman."
"Verosika and I listened to it on the way here." Naruto answered.
"Did you now?" Jack asked with a quirked eyebrow. "But can you sing?"
"Yeah, I can…" Naruto said as he rubbed his neck.
"What's wrong?" Verosika asked in concern, which Jack noticed.
"Neck still hurts from earlier." Naruto admitted, shame flooding his guts.
Be blinked when Jack held a hand out with some pills.
"Here, some pain killers." Jack said as he put them in Naruto's hand.
"Okay…" Naruto said as he put them in his mouth and swallowed as Jack took a second look.
"Hey, wait, don't take those." Jack said as he looked at the bottle.
"What?" Verosika and Naruto asked in unison.
"Almost gave you the wrong shit, kid." Jack stated like Naruto was stupid.
"… I already took it!" Naruto replied, anxiety starting to flood his body.
Jack blinked, before his face stretched into a giddy smirk.
"OOhohoooohoohoho…" He sounded, trying not to outright laugh.
"WHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM!"
"He just took the most acid I have ever seen a first timer take." Jack laughed out, his tongue touching his chin from how long it was.
Naruto's eyes widened.
"ACID!" Naruto screamed in a panic, grabbing Jack's shoulder. "I'VE NEVER…"
Naruto's leg's buckled when Jack kicked his knee.
"Fuck… fuck…"
"Kid, it's all about the mindset." Jack stated as he squatted before Naruto. "If you freak, it's gonna be bad."
"I've/He's never done acid before." Naruto and Verosika said in unison.
"Jack, how much did he take?" Verosika asked as she put a reassuring hand on Naruto's shoulder as he clung to her, whimpering like an abused puppy.
Jack looked in the bottle.
"Well… I gave him two… so it should probably last a few hours…" Jack said with a concerned shrug. "It isn't that strong, so as long as he remain…s… ca…lm… He… Sh…o…ul…d… be… Fine…"
Naruto heard Jack's words come to a very agonizingly slow pace before he looked at Verosika.
"Star…" Naruto said in a panic as he pulled away from Verosika, whose face started to bubble like wax.
"Stud…" She said, her voice sounding warped before a sharp increase in intensity left Naruto running from Verosika, entering the kitchen.
He came to a halt when the floor vanished, leaving a dark pit.
"Phew." Naruto sighed in relief… before he turned around and saw a massive bunny.
Said bunny jumped up and kicked him down the hole.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…." Naruto screamed before he paused, taking a few deep breathes. "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK…"
Naruto kept falling…
And falling.
And falling.
And falling.
Naruto checked his watch.
It was still working… but it was going backwards.
*Pink Floyd: Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Part 1, 0:00-3:53*
"Naruto…" A distorted voice said as Naruto became enthralled by his hand.
His fur was like an ocean of hair, swishing and swaying back and forth.
Meanwhile…
"Are you sure he is okay?" Verosika asked as she watched Naruto look at his hand.
His pupils were dilated so much that his white pupils were black.
"Yeah, Vero, he will be fine." Jack said as he exited the kitchen with a six pack of beer. "Now, come on, this brew ain't gonna drink itself."
Naruto POV…
*Pink Floyd: Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Part 2, 3:53-6:26*
I was drifting naked through yellow skies, leaves floating past me as I looked down.
Beneath me was water, reflecting the sky and pink clouds.
However, I reached out, touching it, and saw a human hand touch it in the same spot.
I saw myself, my human self.
I stared at myself like in a mirror.
I moved my hand, he moved his.
I touched my face. He touched his.
My hand sank into my skull like it was jelly, slowly my arm was swallowed followed my shoulder, neck, and the rest of my body liquidated and flushed itself down a drain.
Meanwhile…
Verosika pulled Naruto's head out of the sink, turning it off with her tail as she looked for a towel to dry Naruto's head off.
"Damn, he is a light weight." Jack called as Verosika dried Naruto's head, Naruto oohing and awing at her when she removed the towel. "You need to drug him up some more, get his tolerance up."
"JACK!" Verosika snapped, making her guardian shrug with his hands up.
Naruto…
*Pink Floyd: Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Part 3, 6:26-8:40*
"Welcome to Stricklands Propane store, for Propane and Propane Accessories." Hank Hill told Naruto, shaking his hand as Naruto entered the store.
Naruto stared intensely at the King of the Hill.
The man's skin slowly peeled off like a banana peel, revealing his fleshy muscles and tendons.
Naruto nodded before walking away.
"Sup, Naruto." Denji said as he walked past Naruto outside of Stricklands Propane, Pochita cutely barking at Naruto.
"Denji." Naruto acknowledged as he felt light as air.
Naruto walked half a block.
"Sup, 2D." Naruto greeted as he walked past a thin gentleman with black eyes, blue hair, and general monkey like features waiting outside a Music store, Uncle Norms Organ Emporium.
"G'day, Naruto." 2D replied in his British accent.
Naruto looked in the window, seeing Russel, Noodle, and Murdoc buying instruments.
'Wow, Gorillaz…' Naruto thought as he continued walking, head in the clouds before he stepped off the curb… only to fall off of a skyscraper.
A red and blue blur swung down and caught Naruto.
"SPIDERMAN!" Naruto shouted with a saliva filled smile stars in his eyes, finally meeting one of his childhood heroes.
"Yep, specifically Tom Holland." Tom replied as he carried Naruto to the ground.
"Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap." an effeminate looking man wearing a pink suit, purple net gloves, and blonde hair that ended in swirls.
"FUNNY VALENTINE!" Naruto shouted as Valentine threw an American flag over him, his Stand, D4C, appearing behind him.
Naruto opened his eyes and he stood in the quiet, sleepy town of Morioh.
'Fuck yeah, I love part four.' Naruto said like a child in a candy store. 'Wait, can I summon a stand? Ooooh I hope it's my original stand… okay, like Josuke said, its fighting instinct.'
Naruto took a deep breath.
"FOXY LADY!" He bellowed.
Like fire bursting from his entire being, Naruto witnessed his stand come to life.
At his height, stood a humanoid with pale orange skin. Its chest was bound tightly with white bandages, covered with an open dark blue vest with deep orange folds on the shoulders and around the neck. An orange skirt held up by a dark blue belt was wrapped around its waist, with segments at the hips exposing its skin. On its wrists and shins were black cloth arm bands with orange wrings on the ends. On its head was a helmet with a visor, that was also orange that had what appeared to be fox ears with blue interior and black glass where its eyes should be. The visor/helmet covered its nose, eyes, and ears, with no hair appearing behind it. Its lips were full and plump.
From what he could see, its body was thin, muscled, but thin, having a very sensual femininity but the masculine build made it androgynous.
"THIS IS SO COOL!" Naruto shouted giddily as he recalled Foxy Lady, his ears perking up when he heard foot steps.
"Yo, Angelo." Josuke Higashikata said as he passed Naruto with Koichi.
"Huh?" Koichi Hirose said in confusion as he looked at Naruto, who stared back. "uh… Yo, Angelo?"
Naruto turned, seeing the walls turn to dust, a bright flash of light, forcing Naruto to cover his eyes.
His hand became heavy.
Naruto opened his eyes to see himself holding Leviathan.
"Father, are you okay?"
Naruto blinked, looking up to see himself on a snowy mountain, before him a tree with Mimir sealed in it and Atreus standing before him in concern.
"Boy…" Naruto replied shakily. "Yes… I am… fine…"
"Oh, no, Brother…" Mimir said in a menacing tone, the Japanese Kanji for Menacing appearing around him.
Mimir tore himself from the tree, a shroud of mist blanketing him before a hand shot out, shoving a mask onto Naruto's face.
"… the terror is just starting," a Shadowy wolf like figure shouted gleefully as he stabbed Naruto, blood spraying out. "I SACRIFICE YOUR HUMANITY, NARUTO!"
Meanwhile…
Jack and Verosika jumped from their seats when Naruto, who was laying calmly on the floor, suddenly started screaming.
"Boy got some pipes…" Jack said as he watched Verosika jump into Naruto, who struggled against her.
"NARUTO!" Verosika screamed, grabbing his face, making him look at her. "It's Me… please… Focus on me!"
Naruto's POV…
*Pink Floyd: Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Part 4, 8:40-11:08*
"~Remember when you were young?
You shone like the sun.
Shine on, you crazy diamond~"
I felt like I was shrinking, a sharp pain in my back.
My fur stayed the same color, but my clothes went from black and green, to blue and gold.
Angel wings sprouted from my back and a halo appeared on my head.
"~Now there's a look in your eyes
Like black holes in the sky
Shine on, you crazy diamond~"
"Naruto!"
I turned, eyes widening as my boner grew when I laid eyes upon my girlfriends.
Loona wore a flowing blue dress, a cute smile on her face as she had angel wings with a halo.
Verosika also had angel wings, but lost her horns for a halo. Her usual revealing attire was replaced with a very conservative dress.
"~You were caught in the crossfire
Of childhood and stardom,
Blown on the steel breeze
Come on you target
for faraway laughter;
Come on you stranger, you legend,
You martyr, and shine~"
They embraced me, pushing me backwards, a rotational sensation overwhelmed me as I held my precious girls in my arms.
"Hey, son."
I looked… up… and saw Moxxie and Millie… no… Moxford and Mildred.
Their horns missing, replaced with angel wings and halos, were Moxford and Mildred.
They wore blue and gold versions of Millie and Moxxie's clothing, though Mildred's didn't reveal her stomach or have tears in them. However, they had baby blue skin, instead of red.
"Hey, Uzumaki."
I turned and saw Blitz… nope, its Blitzo.
Like Mildred and Moxford, he had blue skin, and blue/gold/white color swap of Blitz's outfit.
"Come on, Uzumaki," Blitzo said FAR to enthusiastically as he grabbed my arm. "Let's go bless some sinners."
"~You reached for the secret
too soon
You cried for the moon
Shine on, you crazy diamond~"
"WHAT IS GOING ON!" I screamed, Mildred, Moxford, Loona, Verosika, and Blitzo fading into particles.
My heartbeat thundered in my ears to the point it was deafening.
I clasped my hands over my ears, my fur shedding from my body to reveal a naked child version of myself.
"~Threatened by shadows at night
And exposed in the light
Shine on, you crazy diamond~"
"Come on, buddy." A familiar voice said as I opened up eyes to see the speaker, who picked me up. "It's time for bed."
"Dad…" I mumbled, Minato smiling.
"That's me. But it is time for bed, sport." Minato said as he carried me to my room.
I leaned into his embrace, my head starting to feel heavy and exhausted, my eyelids drooping before I went limp.
"~Well, you wore out your welcome
With random precision
Rode on the steel breeze
Come on you raver, you seer of visions;
Come on you painter, you piper,
You prisoner, and shine ~"
*Pink Floyd: Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Part 5, 11:08-End*
The world started to spin, slowly as if Pucci used Made in Heaven to restart the universe.
Naruto felt a weight on his head, which increased as the world continued to spin faster, and more violently.
Naruto jolted forward, blinking as he looked around.
The room was dark, with little light shining through the window blinds.
"Hmmma…"
Naruto turned and saw Verosika sleeping next to him.
'What the fuck happened!' Naruto thought as he laid back down, eyes wide.
Face palming, Naruto turned to his side, looking at Verosika's sleeping face…
Until her eye opened.
"Suck my tits…" She whispered, lifting her arm with the blanket to reveal she was naked. "They will cure you of this headache…"
"Vero…" Naruto deadpanned.
Verosika rolled her eyes.
"Just suck my tits, Naruto." She told him, pulling his head into her cleavage.
Naruto sighed, closing his eyes.
'Well, might as well get comfortable…' He thought tiredly.
Naruto pulled Verosika into a waist hug, steadied his breathing and stilled his mind.
He fell asleep shortly after.
Next Day…
"PULL!" Blitz shouted as he pushed the button.
Three clay pigeons were sent flying, and all three shattered.
"WHOOOOOHOOOO!" Blitz shouted as Loona caught her weapon. "THAT'S MY GIRL!"
The duo woke up bright and early to find a spot to take Loona's training to the next level, and she had been nailing it for the past hour.
"Next round?" Blitz asked as he set the next set of clay pigeons.
"Need you ask?" Loona said as she started to twirl her hook in her right hand.
"Alright." Blitz said as he held up the button. "And… PULL!"
Loona swung, shattering the clay pigeons with ease.
"Well, Looney, I think you are prepared for missions if you ever, you know." Blitz said proudly as he approached her. "Want to tag along on a mission."
Blitz hugged Loona, who didn't resist.
"Thanks, Blitz. Anyway, I got something for you." Loona said as she kneeled down and opened up her bag.
Blitz's eyes widened when he saw her pull out… a bottle of Psycho Jerry's Rum.
A BIG one.
"That's…" Blitz sniffled with a smile, dabbing his eyes. "That's my girl…"
Millie and Moxxie's House…
Moxxie hummed as he woke up, yawning as he did.
Turning to see his beautiful wife beside him.
"Morning sweetie." He said as he kissed her cheek.
The small action jostled Millie enough to wake her.
"Mornin'." She yawned.
"You know what?" Moxxie asked with a cheeky smile.
"What?" Millie asked, batting her eyelashes sensually.
Moxxie got up, standing on the bed.
*Roberta Flack: The Closer I get to You*
"~The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving me all you got
Your love has captured me~"
Millie smiled as she sat up.
"~Over and over again
I tried to tell myself that we
Could never be more than friends
And all the while inside I knew it was real
The way you make me feel~"
Moxxie offered Millie his hand, helping her stand.
"~Lying here next to you
Time just seems to fly~"
M&M pressed their foreheads together, eyes closed with content smiles on their faces.
"~Needing you more and more
Lets give love a try (oh, oh, oh)~"
Moxxie jumped off of the bed, hand in hand with Millie, their feet touching the ground.
"~Sweeter than sweeter love grows
And heaven's there for those
Who fool the tricks of time
With the hearts of love they find true love
In a special way~"
Millie took the lead, exiting the bedroom, Millie scooping Moxxie up bridal style.
"~The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving me all you got
Your love has captured me~"
They entered the kitchen, Millie carrying Moxxie before putting him in a chair.
"~Over and over again
I try to tell myself that we
Could never be more than friends
And all the while inside I knew it was real
The way you make me feel~"
Millie took Moxxie's hands, their eyes connected, showing love and happiness.
"~The closer I get to you
The more you make me see
By giving you all I got
Your love has captured me
The closer I get to you
The feeling comes over me (me too)
Pulling closer, sweet as the gravity
to you~"
The Duo finished their song with a deep passionate kiss, love and lust starting to blend as Moxxie found his back on the kitchen floor.
"Naruto is gone for another few days…" Millie huskily whispered in Moxxie's ear. "So, let's have some fun…"
Moxxie gulped in excitement.
Goetia Castle…
"…AND ANOTHER THING!" Stella screamed, Octavia's eye snapping open.
'Great, another day in paradise.' She thought as she tried to tune her mother out, knowing it wouldn't work, but A for effort.
'It's every day with this SHIT!' Octavia thought as she angrily threw her blanket off of her and into the arms of the stuffed black bear Naruto had bought her.
Quickly dressing, Octavia put her headphones on, and scrolled through her music.
'I think I'll go with one of the songs Naruto recommended.' She thought as she clicked on a new playlist he and she had created. 'This one sounds good…'
*MGMT: Time to Pretend*
Octavia walked down the hallway as the song started, avoiding a thrown flower pot.
"~I'm feelin' rough, I'm feelin' raw
I'm in the prime of my life
Let's make some music, make some money
Find some models for wives
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars ~"
Octavia entered the kitchen, her sound cancelling headphones drowning out the obvious argument Stella and Stolas were having, with her father on the backfoot as Stella was visibly screaming.
"~This is our decision to live fast and die young
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do?
Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute? ~"
The butler offered her a cup of coffee, sugar and cream.
Octavia took a cup, black, and grabbed a box of cereal.
"~Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend ~"
'Damn… this song hits close… I guess Naruto was right…' Octavia thought as she poured milk into a bowl before sitting at the table, starting to eat her breakfast in silence, watching her parents argue with an emotionless stare.
"~I'll miss the playgrounds
And the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother
And the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father,
Miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom
And the freedom and the time spent alone ~"
Octavia tilted to her left, avoiding being hit by a frying pan, which shattered the window behind her.
'I think I should move.' She thought, not wanting glass in her cereal or coffee.
She grabbed her bowl and cup, and quietly left her squabbling parents to go out onto the balcony, sitting at the table.
"~But there is really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run its course ~"
Octavia munched on her cereal, looking toward the sky.
'I wonder if I can make a difference when I get my grimoire and get my purpose, like dad and Naruto.' She thought, her eyes watering slightly as she felt her heart tighten. 'They get to be… free…'
"~We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend ~"
Octavia paused in her eating as a gentle breeze brushed against her.
'Hm. I know I will make a difference.' She thought confidently, not noticing the door to the balcony open.
"~I said yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah ~"
"OCTAVIA!" Stella screamed as she ripped the headphones off of her daughter's head.
"WHAT… I mean…" Octavia took a deep breath. "How can I help you, mother?"
Meanwhile…
Jayjay yawned as she entered the hallway, earbuds in her ear, heading for the kitchen to get something to eat.
* The Devil Makes Three: For My Family *
A gentle guitar solo started as Jayjay entered the kitchen, opening the fridge.
"~This one's for my father
I hope they don't work him to his grave
This one's for my mother
For keepin' me fed everyday
This one's for my brother
So that they never make him their slave
This one's for my sister
That she might find someone to love her in the right way
I ain't got no reason left to be afraid
No
I ain't got no reason left to be afraid
I ain't got no reason left to be afraid ~"
Grabbing her ingredients, Jayjay shut the fridge and turned on the oven, waiting for it to preheat.
'Hm…' Jayjay tiredly thought as she put some hashbrowns on a cookie sheet before she turned the stove.
Putting the frying pan on the stove, eggs and bacon were put in, a spatula moving them around.
'I wonder…' Jayjay thought for the first time in a long time. 'How are dad, Dickie, and Dalila doing? It has been…' Jayjay's heart sank. 'Many years since I left… did they look for me? I got so wrapped up in my own business, I never checked in with them.'
"~This one's for my father
And for that crazy look in his eye
This one's for my mother
That she might be a child and cry
This one's for my brother
For showin' me there's things that money can't buy
This one's for my sister
For teachin' me to always keep my weapons by my side
I ain't gonna sit and let this world go by
No
I ain't gonna sit and let this world go by
I ain't gonna sit and let this world go by ~"
Flipping the bacon over, Jayjay scrambled the eggs as she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist as a pair of lips caressed her neck.
"Morning, sunshine." She heard Vortex said, making her smile.
"Morning, Rock-star." Jayjay replied as she moved back, making her boyfriend move back, and opened the oven to put the hashbrowns in since the oven was heated. "You sleep well?"
"You know I did." Vortex said as he moved the frying pan out of her hand, turned off the stove and turned Jayjay to face him. "I always sleep well when you are with me."
Jayjay giggled.
"Come here, stupid." She playfully said as she reached up and pulled Vortex into a heated lip lock.
"~So this one's for my family
For crazy screams flyin' up the stairs
This one's for my family
'Cause they're the only ones who were there
This one's for the card game
That we might all play out our hands
And this one's for my family
'Cause I guess I know exactly who I am
And I guess that's thanks to them
Oh, I guess that's thanks to them ~"
"Hey, babe…" Jayjay said when they separated. "I… When… When Naruto comes back… I want to take a trip to the human world and visit my family…"
Afternoon…
"I hate you…" Naruto grumbled as he wiped the sweat from his head.
"Don't, the harvest will be well worth it." Jack replied as he tossed a bushel of marijuana over his shoulder into a trailer. "Think of the money I'll make. Don't worry, you get a five percent cut and a bag, free of charge of course."
Naruto deadpanned, but kept silent.
'Millie did say to bring back souvenirs, so maybe she will like the weed.' Naruto thought before he shot up when he felt a sharp pain to his right ass cheek. "Verosika!"
Verosika giggled as she backed away before turning and running as Naruto chased her through the weed field.
Jack smiled as he watched Naruto run after Verosika.
'Ah, young love.' He thought in content as Naruto caught Verosika, the two landing on the soil. "Alright, you two, knock it off. Can't have you ruining my crop."
Naruto got off of Verosika, who pouted.
"If we finished getting the allotted amount," Jack announced as he threw another bushel into the trailer. "I'll take you guys out gambling."
"I've never gambled… and I'm eighteen." Naruto told Jack as he helped Verosika up.
Jack shrugged.
"They don't give three flying fucks, so why should you?" He asked Naruto.
'Nothing seems to phase this man.' Naruto thought in deadpan as he continued to help.
'I get to dress up tonight.' Verosika thought as she remembered the outfit she brought with her for this occasion.
Evening…
A flowing burnt orange dress that had blood red hues at the hem, her hair wrapped up with make up on her eyes and violet lipstick, Verosika got out of the car like the popstar she was.
Jack stepped out, wearing a white suit that had gold studs taking the shape of dollar signs, not hiding his rounder stomach, but highlighting his still sexy look with his few top hairs smoothed over to the left while he wore thick shades.
Naruto, meanwhile, wore leather pants, leather vest, and a purple long sleeve button up with the first two buttons undone.
"You sure this is a good idea?" Naruto asked insecurely as he followed Verosika and Jack. "Maybe I should just stay with the car?"
"Kid," Jack said as he slipped his shades up, propping them on his forehead. "Just relax. We ain't gonna get in trouble."
Naruto sighed.
'This guy is gonna get me in trouble.' Naruto thought before he felt his arm be grabbed.
"Come on," Verosika said as she held his arm into her chest, making him blush. "Let's just have fun, Stud."
Naruto sighed with a smile.
"Alright…" Naruto said as the trio entered.
Twenty Minutes Later…
"You win." The dealer said as he pushed a giant pile of chips toward Naruto.
'How…' Naruto thought as he was playing Poker.
The hand he had was complete shit.
He turned all his cards in… and got a ROYAL FLUSH!
"Massive earnings, Babe." Verosika cheered.
"First hand, and you already won big." Jack said as he smoked a joint, it was allowed.
"I… I think I'm gonna cash in…"
A cackle bought Naruto's attention, first inquisitive, then a frown.
The individual he was looking at was an anthropomorphic cat with a bow tie, a top hat, and red wings. He had LONG red claws.
"What is so funny…" Naruto asked gruffly.
"Oh, nothing," The cat said before guzzling some booze. "Just the fact that you wasted all your luck on the first hand."
Naruto didn't budge… he put ALL his chips in.
"Deal me in." Naruto ordered, glancing at the cat.
"Stupid move, kid." The cat replied as the dealer started dealing cards. "What's your name? I wanna know who I am gonna insult when they lose."
"Naruto, you?"
"Husker." Husker replied as he took his cards.
Naruto deadpanned.
"I'm out."
"I fold."
"I am leaving."
"I raise." Husker said as he threw a few hundred in.
Since Naruto had bet everything, the dealer asked for the cards.
Husker… three pair.
Naruto… Straight Flush, Diamonds, Jack through Seven.
"HOW THE FUCK!" Husker shouted as Naruto collected his chips and walked away, thoroughly smug with his winnings.
"I think that is enough." Naruto said, earning a head shake from Jack.
"Nah, we ain't done." Jack said as he pulled out a small metal case, opening to reveal it was a cigarette holder… instead of cigarettes, it was joints.
He took one and put it in his mouth, pulling out a zippo lighter and lighting it.
Jack took a big drag and exhaled the smoke.
"Give me some chips, Imma go waste them. You can pussy out like a bitch if you want." Jack said, expecting an argument, only to have his eyes bulge out when he was given HALF of Naruto's earnings.
"Enjoy losing it." Naruto said as he headed toward the cash in station.
Jack was dumbfounded, his joint slipping out of his mouth.
He looked at Verosika.
"You fell for an idiot." Jack stated in utter shock.
"But he is my idiot." Verosika said proudly as she followed after Naruto.
Meanwhile…
"Want to make Ravioli's for dinner tonight?" Moxxie asked Millie as they were in the grocery store.
"I think it's a great idea."
Moxxie had to physically draw blood from his lip as his eye twitched while turning to see Blitz in the grocery cart, Millie giggling.
"Sir…" Moxxie growled through his teeth. "Get… out…"
Loona picked up Blitz with one hand.
"Sorry, Fatty, he got away from me." Loona said, not looking away from her phone, looking through her Instagram.
"Thanks…" Moxxie replied, irritated at her nickname.
"Hey," Blitz said as he looked around as Loona put him down. "Where is the Mutt? Shouldn't he be with you?"
"Naruto is off hanging out with a friend…" Millie said, casually lying.
Evening…
Naruto sat on the porch with Jack, Verosika sitting in his lap, her head on his shoulder as she snored.
After an afternoon of excitement and fun, the trio had returned to Jack's home, stripping into casual wear and Verosika fell asleep in his lap.
"You know…" Naruto mumbled sheepishly.
"What?" Jack said as he put his bottle down, smoking his joint.
"I think I'd like to smoke…" Naruto said as he scratched his cheek.
Jack smirked smugly as he pulled one out, handing it and a lighter to Naruto.
"It's not my best stuff," Jack said cautiously as Naruto put it to his lips. "Just keep a good mind set and you'll be fine."
Naruto lit the lighter and ignited the tip of the joint.
He hacked and wheezed for several minutes, somehow not waking Verosika.
"It's always like this for beginners." Jack said as he tossed Naruto some water, which Naruto guzzled down.
"I think…" Naruto said as he took two more small hits. "That's enough."
Jack nodded respectfully, taking Naruto's joint and finishing it off.
He inhaled, exhaling a lot of smoke, chuckling to himself drunkenly high.
"Hm…" he hummed, his eyes lulling upward toward the stars. "It is just like it was before that…"
"What is?" Naruto asked, his throat sore as hell while starting to feel a light tingling through his body.
"The way it was before we separated, Vero and I…" Jack replied as he took a long drink, emptying his bottle.
Naruto nodded.
"God… just fuck why did we have that argument…" Jack groaned, face palming his face, fingers rubbing his eyes.
"Uh…" Naruto lulled, shifting slightly, his arms holding Verosika tightly to not drop her. "What happened… if it's not too much…"
Jack shook his head.
"Verosika was fourteen when I took her in as a trainee." He told Naruto. "Few years pass, her parents died…"
Naruto nodded, already knowing this information from the previous Halloween.
Jack gained a sad, melancholy look.
"I became her guardian… she grew older, then…" Jack's voice broke slightly, as if he hesitated to relive such memories. "She wanted our music to go in a different direction that I preferred to stay away from. And instead of letting her spread her wings, I fought back, and eventually…"
Jack gripped his hands together, his eyes watering.
"We argued for a while, her ending it with 'You aren't my dad', then she slammed the door and didn't come back." Jack mumbled, dabbing his eyes. "I dropped out of the public eye, and I am glad I did. But then…"
As his high got stronger, Naruto leaned forward, so engrossed in Jack's words, he could still think rationally.
Jack lulled, eyes drooping.
"She…" his head bobbed. "She found me… pregnant as fuck… beggin' fer… help…"
Jack nodded off, slouching in his porch chair, Naruto picking up snoring.
'Fuck…' Naruto thought as he stood up quickly, nearly falling as he held Verosika. 'I gotta put them to sleep.'
Carefully shuffling into the house, Naruto put Verosika on the couch, and then returned to the porch and picked Jack up with the same amount of care.
Easing himself up the stairs, Naruto put Jack in his bed before returning to Verosika, picking her up, and going to their room.
Naruto felt so good.
He had a stupid smile on his face… and a raging boner.
'No… don't do anything while she is sleeping…' Naruto thought as he put Verosika on the bed, shivering without his warmth.
Naruto licked his lips as his weed empowered horniness got stronger.
'Would she mind?' Naruto thought as he got into bed, pulling the blanket up.
Biting his lip while he thought about it, Naruto passed out while in deep philosophical debate on the right and wrong of his desire to fuck Verosika while sleeping.
It was a debate for the century.
Next morning…
"Here you go, ten percent of the money earned from selling the weed." Jack said as he handed Naruto some cash. "And your bonus."
Naruto's smile slightly faltered as he accepted the four-pound bag of weed.
'Well, I can sell it for cash.' Naruto thought as he put it in the car.
"It was nice meeting you Jack." Naruto said as he held out a hand.
Jack looked at his hand.
"Nope." He said as he held his arms out.
Naruto sighed and gave Jack a hug.
"Welcome to the family, ya' fuck." Jack laughed as he released Naruto.
Naruto couldn't help but smile at the incubus's antics.
"It was fun, but we are leaving." Verosika said as she closed the side door to her Volkswagen Bus. "Come by the city sometime, old man."
"Yeah, yeah and leave my crop open?" he asked as he gave Verosika a hug. "Keep the kid, he is a good one, Vero."
Verosika smiled.
"I plan to." She whispered back.
She kissed Jack's forehead as she released the hug.
"Stay safe, old man." She said as she headed to the driver's seat.
"Yeah, get herpies, ya' skank." Jack replied as the engine roared.
Verosika smiled as she flipped him off, Naruto waving goodbye to Jack.
'I'm glad you found happiness, sweetheart.' Jack thought proudly as he walked back to his house, entering it. 'Because not all of us can find it.'
Next day…
"God, we have to do that again." Naruto said as they neared his house.
"Yeah, but next time, let's bring Loona and your parents." Verosika (In disguise) said as she turned the corner, seeing Naruto's house down the block.
"That would be fun, maybe Jayjay and Vortex too." Naruto said in excitement as he messaged Moxxie, letting them know he was home.
Verosika pulled over and parked the car.
"Naruto!" Millie shouted as she bolted out of the house and hugged her son as Moxxie walked out. "You got to tell us all about your trip with Verosika."
"WHAT!"
*CRASH*
Millie, Moxxie, Verosika, and Naruto (Who had his stuff and the bag of weed) turned and saw Blitz at the base of a tree, having fallen from it in his shock.
Chapter 36, DONE!
Happy One Year Anniversary.
Sorry for taking so long to update, work and the holiday just overwhelmed me, so I had to write when i could, so I apologize for any randomness.
I made another Playlist, for this chapter. It will have the songs that I used, so that way you can listen to them. Will have a link up on my Bio Page.
Well, a year has passed since I started this story, and I regret… nothing.
If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review, if you didn't like it, leave a review anyway as it helps me become a better author.