Original Posted On Dec. 14, 2023
Beta Read by: Crowfeast, Darlord331
Review Responses:
Nathair1: What food don't you like? Super Burger or Beef Stroganoff? Not mad, just want to know. Yeah, I did alter the Pilot. I had to for it to make sense.
MichaelTheFox: Well, yes and no. I did the pilot because I brain farted on what to do, but now I have some content I wanna write so the next canon chapter won't be for a while. Yeah, I look forward to seeing how the episodes play out with Naruto's involvement.
StrongGuy159: I have some ideas that will probably be better than them… simply watching the videos.
Hellhammer: Insult his lovers, family, and especially his baby…
Bednarczykmiki: Yes… and no…
Gamelover41592: Yep, I have some plans for Octavia and Riser.
Rick: Who said he was instantly murdered for his words?
Exia Zero: You say I let him off easy… you will like this.
Dktv9: Thank you. It was me trying to write a compelling chapter due to me brain farting and not coming up with something original.
ShadowBloodedge9396: Stella is a bitch, but she isn't a monster to deprave her daughter of her father. Yeah, Octavia should NOT go to Naruto/Loona/Verosika for dating advise as their romances started with sex first, romance second.
AdanValdovinos3: A nice way of looking at it.
Jebest4781: I can't wait to get to Ozzie/Fizz.
Nicholas: Why does everyone LOVE Andromeda so much? She is a baby and hasn't done anything except BE CUTE? Not mad, genuinely curios. It's like Tamamo from my 'Return of the Golden Protector' and 'Sage of Legend' stories.
Ice: Tundra would slaughter Eddie.
Reggad the Knife: … you want the truth or a lie?
Fenris Silverblood: I wanted Naruto as well, but with how I characterized him… I couldn't figure it out, so I chose NOT to go that route and have Millie do it.
DaftMerc39: Fuck, I need to draw this version of Riser Phenex. Yes, Octavia's romance/relationship with Riser will be different than our beloved MC's. Super Burger is a burger joint, really good burgers and fries. What about Minato? Genuine confusion with the Minato thing.
MEATBICYCLE: *Snicker* Funny you mention Hellsing… Yes, I would like the see what you have for the DND campaign. I welcome your ideas.
StarDustDragonknight: Yes.
DireWolf1412: Thank you.
Guest: Don't worry, Esther is safe.
Talon: Have at him. *Grabs Popcorn*
Sniperbro1998: Well, Andromeda is a demon, so human suffering is music.
OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR HELLUVA BOSS!
"Hey" = Speaking
'Hey' = Thinking
'Hey' = Memory
"Hey" = To be Determined
Chapter 79: Summer Beats
Naruto sat in the chair, his daughter clinging to his clothes as she napped in his arms while her mother, stepmother, and grandparents slowly tortured a human child.
Currently, Eddie was missing a leg, his remaining toes, four fingers, all of the teeth on his lower jaw, a tenth of his skin had been peeled off, his nose was fractured, and one of his eye lids was cut out to expose his entire eyeball to allow IMP to stab his eye with needles.
The boys' cries for mercy went ignored as the hound, the succubus, and three imps continued to expose his body to pain… and pleasure.
Real Cenobite shit.
Even wearing Cenobite inspired costumes.
Naruto gently spun the chair, eyes closed as he rubbed Andromeda's back.
The muffled whimpers were music to his ears.
'Life has really changed for me…' Naruto thought, leaning in the chair. 'Two years ago, when I was a human, this would never cross my mind to be living so happily with a family and women who love me…' He felt Andromeda shift in his arms. 'And a child.'
Naruto paused in his thoughts.
'Hm… I should probably get on that, huh…'
"Okay… he's dead…" Blitz said, pulling Naruto from his thoughts, wiping his forehead, careful to not wipe off the white make up and the 'pins' for his Pinhead costume. "Welp, let's get to disassembly."
He reached under the table… and pulled out a chainsaw.
"Alright, I'm done." Verosika said, fully satisfied. "I guess I'll be going. Was fun."
"Yeah, I'll get going too, I need to do something." Naruto said, standing up. "Just need to get the baby backpack from the car."
"You're not going home?" Millie asked as she and Moxxie prepared the hazmat suits.
"No, I am gonna go do some shopping." Naruto said as he headed toward the door.
"Want me to take you?" Verosika asked, closing the door right as Blitz revved the chainsaw.
"No, I have someone else in mind."
Hour Later, Pride Mall…
"Eh… what do you think, Andy?" Naruto asked as he pointed toward the items behind the glass. "You think Mommy will like this?"
Jayjay's eye twitched.
"You know, when you asked me to help you shop for rings, I expected you to ask ME for advice, not your infant baby." Jayjay said in annoyance.
Naruto chuckled as he turned to Jayjay.
"You're right, sorry." Naruto apologized.
Andromeda, meanwhile, had stars in her eyes from all the glittery gold and silver metals and colored gems.
Jayjay sighed and looked around the counters.
"You gave Loona the green jade around her neck, right?" Jayjay asked.
"Yeah…" Naruto said, thinking about that moment.
Flashback…
*Knock, Knock*
"Loona," Naruto called out as Loona jumped from the sudden knock on her door. "Can I come in?"
Loona re-applied her Human disguise before running to the door, opening it to see Naruto.
"Can I come in?" he asked nervously.
"Sure." Loona said as she stepped aside, letting Naruto in before she shut, and locked, the door. "Well, what do you want?"
"Well, I just…" Naruto became red. "What…"
Loona had removed her shirt, revealing a gray and white bra, and was unbuttoning her shorts.
"What? Aren't we going to have sex?" Loona asked in confusion, having thought that was what he wanted.
Naruto was aroused, looking over her body as she dropped her shorts, revealing lime green panties with dark green stripes.
"Uh, sure, but before that…" Naruto said as he reached into his pocket, his erection making it difficult to find the box as he ogled Loona, who didn't undress further, a blush on her pale cheeks as she felt his gaze.
Naruto finally found what he was looking for and pulled out the box.
'Oh, god is he proposing!' Loona thought as her blush became deeper. 'He did say he would marry me if I got pregnant! I am not but…'
"I wanted to give you this." Naruto said as he opened the box to reveal the Jade Green Blessing Pendant.
Its black cord was rolled up safely and its red bead was visible as Loona looked at it.
Flashback End…
Naruto was smiling like a dumbass at the memory of what came AFTER he gave her the jade pendant.
Jayjay didn't question it.
"Well, I've known Verosika for a while, so maybe this…" She said as she pointed to one of the rings. "As for Loona, I know this is tacky, but…"
She pointed toward another ring.
"Well, Andy, what do you think?" Naruto asked, standing in a way to show his baby.
Meanwhile, IMP Office…
A portal opened, allowing Blitz, Moxxie, and Millie to poke their heads through, their heads hovering in the air in the living world.
"Please…" A human woman cried as she held a bad drawing of Eddie. "If you find my Eddie, please CALL…"
She caught the trash bag that carried the bloodied chunked remains of her son, trauma shock on her face and the cameraman's face as said camera looked up at the imps.
"YOU'RE WELCOME!" Blitz said cheerfully, waving before he ducked out of the portal, followed by his employees as just as the portal closed. "AAAAh… what a good day. Killed the correct client…"
"Which would not have been a problem IF Loona did her job right…" Moxxie snipped, glaring at Loona.
"Yeah, you're right." Loona said. "I'm sorry. I'll do better."
Moxxie… rubbed his eyes.
"Excuse me, what?"
"I apologized?" Loona said in confusion. "What?"
"Just surprised you are not argumentative or insulting…" Moxxie said in disbelief. "You're planning something…"
"Aw, my Looney is maturing so much." Blitz said as he hugged Loona.
Millie snapped a quick pic of the father/daughter.
"Nothing can make this day go bad." Blitz said.
Meanwhile…
Stolas facepalmed as he deleted ANOTHER message on his phone.
It had several days since his… divorce was made official.
Now, all of his cohorts were sending him messages.
Ranging from the 'I'm sorry it didn't work out' to the 'You're a gay fag for not wanting to keep that tight bird puss'.
"When will this end…" Stolas said in massive irritation when his phone rang again.
This time from Octavia.
It was a picture of her and Riser.
They had taken a selfie.
They were at Lu Lu World.
Stolas felt his heart lift at the genuine happiness his daughter seemed to be having with Riser.
Then his phone rang again.
Stolas swallowed a lump in his throat as he looked at the name.
Kurama.
Skip, One Week…
It was now July once again in Hell.
And boy… it was SCORCHING hot.
Especially in Wrath.
"You sure you wanna have your next concert… here?" Naruto asked as he felt immensely stuffy with the heat and sweat.
He was currently with Verosika in the Wrath Ring, with the former helping the later go through the contract.
They were sitting in a small café, with the succubus in disguise.
"Yeah, I am. But don't worry, Naruto." Verosika said as she signed off the last of the paperwork. "We will be performing in an enclosed concert hall, so the temperature will be regulated."
"Thank Satan." Naruto praised weakly, sipping his water.
"No, not really… but I can't believe it…" Verosika said, leaning on the table, arms propping her head up, with her chin on the back of her hands. "Tomorrow is gonna be your first day as a bodyguard."
Naruto tensed.
He had been unemployed… for a few months and now that he had a well-paying job, it felt weird that it was a once in a while gig instead of a constant basis.
"Yeah, I am looking forward to it." Naruto said as he continued to sip on his water.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Yeah, something is wrong, what is it?" Verosika asked, knowing he was bothered by something.
"Just… nervous… I guess." Naruto admitted. "Just never been in this kind of work. What if I fuck up?"
"Naruto…" Verosika said, looking him in the eyes. "Tex will be there. He will show you the ropes. So, take a deep breath, and relax. I promise, you'll do fine."
Next Day…
Naruto and Vortex stood outside Verosika's dressing room.
Both wearing casual clothing, with Naruto having his sword on his person.
"Nervous?" Vortex asked his buddy.
"Yeah, but… you'll help me, so I'm fine."
Vortex chuckled at such a text book response from Naruto.
"Relax, not many people are dumb enough to attempt climbing the stage. Well," Vortex's eyes focused as he searched his thoughts. "There was this one time…"
"Please, don't say anymore."
"No, by all means, continue."
Naruto and Vortex turned to see Jack Cash walking up to them, stinking of weed.
"Sup, Jack." Naruto said, high-fiving the elder incubus.
"Been taking care of my girl?" He asked in a fatherly tone.
"Yep, she is safe." Naruto replied, earning a dad stare.
"I mean, you taking care of her… outside of work."
"Oh… yeah, very well."
"Good."
Vortex continued to snicker at Naruto's expense.
"Anyway, why are you here, Jack?" Vortex asked said being.
"Nothing much, just wanting to see Vero perform." Jack said as he relaxed. "Any idea on the songs she will sing today?"
"Well, just one." Naruto said with a snicker.
Meanwhile, Stola's Mansion…
"I can't wait to watch Verosika perform. I am so excited." Riser said as he was at Stolas's Mansion with Octavia for their weekly get together.
They would go back and forth from his home to hers, and this week it was at Octavia's home.
Riser was wearing a Verosika Mayday shirt, had a headband with her name on it, and a giant foam hand with 'Verosika #1' on the palm.
Octavia couldn't help but snicker at his behavior.
Riser caught himself and blushed, steam sizzling and smoke emitting from his face.
Meanwhile, Dry Fuck Studios…
"Come on, we wanna see Verosika!" Loona said, sitting on the couch with Andromeda in her lap, holding the baby's tiny arms. "You wanna see Vero-ma, right, Andy?"
Andromeda held a look of confusion as her mother did this, but did not resist.
"Did you just call Verosika Vero-ma?" Millie asked Loona as she and Moxxie entered the room with snacks.
The four demons were in the living room with a large tv set up to the channel to watch Verosika sing.
"Yeah, what of it? Andy will call me mom, so what will she call Verosika? Mom? This is better." Loona explained.
"Well, let's just see what Andy thinks when she is older." Moxxie said, getting a sarcastic eye roll from the hound. "Where is the boss?"
"Dad said he is going to go shopping."
Kermit's Shop…
"So, you want weapons to compete with your worker's guns?" Kermit asked Blitz as he looked through his wares.
"Yeah, I refuse to be left behind. Besides, have you SEEN Los Lobos! They are fucking powerful." Blitz stated, hitting the counter for emphasis.
"Yeah, I know, I am the one who sold them to Stark's boss." Kermit stated casually.
"You what?"
"It's just business Blitz." Kermit replied as he walked out with a box.
Blitz heard the VERY audible 'thunk' they made when he dropped it.
"These are some powerful hand cannons, Blitz. Made with specialized Holy Ammo." Kermit said as he pulled the cover off.
He reached in, uncovering two massive handguns.
"First off, the Casull." Kermit said as he lifted the gun out with one hand, then reached in for the second gun. "Then, the Jackal."
Meanwhile, Wrath Ring…
Verosika stepped out of her dressing room.
She wore a deep sapphire dress.
It was a short skirt that wrapped tightly around her body, semi-limiting her movements.
She had a blue boa around her shoulders and streamers tied to her wrists.
Her hair was curled with blue wash out dye on the tips.
"Well, boys. What do you think?" She asked, doing a twirl.
"Very good, boss."
"Beautiful."
"Blue is NOT your color."
Verosika flinched, then her eyes widened.
"JACK! When did you get here?"
"A few minutes ago. But don't let this old man keep ya. Go out to ya fans." Jack stated, nodding his head toward the stage where they could all hear her fans chanting.
"Right." She said as she looked at Naruto and Vortex. "Alright boys, it's show time."
Guided by Vortex and Naruto, Verosika followed them in stride, like the Abbey Road cover.
Jack could not feel anything but pride for his protegee.
"Excuse me…" an unfamiliar voice said as Verosika and the two hounds entered the stage to thunderous cheers and applause. "Are you Jack Cash?"
Jack turned to see a young succubus.
She was young, probably early twenties.
She had black hair in a bob cut, and a distinct feature of hers, aside from her natural beauty, was the white scar across the right side of her face.
Jack's eyes widened as he felt a sense of familiarity.
Stage…
Verosika stood center stage, arms open, smiling for her beloved fans as she was surrounded by flowers and many other things being thrown on the stage as Naruto and Vortex stood on either side of the stage, standing stoically.
Waiting for anything to happen.
"Alright, WRATH!" Verosika shouted into the mic. "You ready to FUCKING PARTY!"
The crowd roared.
"ALRIGHT THEN!" Verosika said as she released the mic, reaching into the boa, pulling out a flash of beelzejuice. "LET'S GET THIS SHIT STARTED RIGHT! HIT IT!"
Verosika started CHUGGING as the denizens of Hell were AMPED… but then deflated when the music they expected was not met.
It was… well, you had to be there for it as it was not the rock or sexual thematic usual of Verosika Mayday.
It sounded like a piano?
Or something.
The music came full swing, Verosika tossing the flask off stage, hand swiping the mic off the stand.
*Shin Chan: Stalker Song*
"~I wanted to see you, just wanted to talk.
Went to the back door of your condo, but you changed the locks.
Chicks are confusing, I don't understand.
What message your sending when you pork other men.
Does this mean we can get back together.~"
Verosika sensually danced to the rhythm, the crowd starting to get into it.
It was a ludicrous song for sure.
"~I called up your mother to get some advice.
She said that I always was her favorite, she cooked me chicken and rice.
We knocked back some wine, I cried on her blouse.
One thing and another, then we boned on the couch.
Does this mean we can get back together.~"
Many laughed in the crowd as the music took over again, Verosika returning to the sensual dancing.
Naruto couldn't help but crack a pushed down smile.
"~Have me committed, this jacket is straight.
You know I'm committed to you baby, thats why your cat i ate.
Doc says theres promise, the medicines great.
It makes me feel better, though I can't ejaculate.
Does this mean we can get back together.~"
Verosika held the last note for a few seconds longer as she leaned back, breasts pushing forward as she did before snapping back into her regular composure.
"HOW WAS THAT FOR A STARTING SONG?" She asked, holding the mic to the crowd.
The already deafening crowd amped up even louder.
The fans in the crowd and at home were glued to her like a horny teen seeing their first partner's genitals.
"Alright, next one is a human number…" Verosika said, strutting across the stage, summoning a pair of blue tinted sunglasses. "Let's fucking continue this fun!"
Music started up again, but instead of the whimsical tune from before, it was a more rock n roll sound.
*Janis Joplin: Take a Piece of my Heart*
"~Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on
Instead of a sensual dance, Verosika's movements were 'POW' In your face, 'go ahead' types, befitting the song she was singing.
"~Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man? Yeah
And didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can?
Honey, you know I did
And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough
But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough~"
The crowd were amped, the giant tv's on the side of the stage showing Verosika to the ones in the back showing the lyrics for those who wanted to join in the singing.
"~I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it)
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoa, have a)
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby
You know you got it if it makes you feel good
Oh, yes indeed~"
"Hey, Naruto, on your right…" Vortex said through their headset.
Naruto looked to his right, seeing a female fan nearly on the stage.
"Run up and punt her into the crowd." Vortex instructed.
"But…"
"DO IT!"
Naruto sighed and took a football running start… and punted this woman toward the back of the concert hall.
"~You're out on the streets looking good
And baby, deep down in your heart, I guess you know that it ain't right
Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night
Babe, and I cry all the time
But each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain
But when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again~"
Verosika punched the air, pumping the crowd up with 'join me' hand motions.
'COME ON, SING WITH ME!' She thought as the crowd slowly joined in.
"~I said come on, come on, come on, come on and take it
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby
Well, you know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good~"
'YES, this is it!' Verosika thought, taking a step back to take a breather.
The crowd's excitement was like fuel for her.
It lit an inferno within Verosika's soul.
Made her want to continue to improve and become better.
"~I need you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it)
Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, c'mon now (whoa, have a)
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby
You know you got it, whoa~"
Naruto and Vortex continued to keep people off of the stage…
By ANY means necessary.
"~Take it
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby (whoa, break it)
Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (whoa, have a)
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby, hey
You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good~"
The rest of the show went phenomenally well.
"THANK YOU, WRATH!" Verosika announced as she held the mic.
Her voice felt achy from her hour of singing.
Her skin was soaked in sweat.
Her smile was big enough that her head could fall off.
Her soul burned passionately.
"THANK ALL OF YOU AT HOME!" Verosika stated, waving to the fans at home, looking directly at the cameras.
"AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO JACK CASH, MY MENTOR!" Verosika ended, bowing to her fans, blowing kisses, making a 'V' with her fingers for a vagina and 'licking' it, making blowjob motions as she stepped off stage with Vortex and Naruto.
Vortex, Naruto, and Verosika entered her dressing room.
"That whenhmph…"
Verosika had silenced Naruto by pulling him into a passionate, tongue fueled kiss.
Naruto reciprocated with equal passion, grabbing her butt and squishing it.
Vortex, respectfully, turned his head and closed his eye.
"Ugh…" Verosika moaned as she pulled away. "Yes, I love it… I can't wait to take you and the others to the Living world after this."
"What?" Naruto asked, his brain still dumb from the epic make out.
"When we get home, I am taking everyone to the Living world." Verosika repeated with a bright smile. "Because I have a summer home there that I want to visit."
"You own property in the living world?" Naruto asked as Verosika grabbed some water, chugging it down like it was the last drop in a desert.
"Yep, it is in a barrier in the east coast that keeps it from human contact or vision…" Verosika said as she pounded the water bottle onto the counter. "I call it… Silicone Shores."
Chapter 79, DONE!
Today is my birthday! I am now 25!
So, I decided to have some fun!
I hope you had fun and enjoyed the music, I recommend you listen to them if you haven't heard them before. I originally planned on having the TeamFourStar Hellsing Ultimate Abridged Rip Van Winkle: Never gonna give you Up, but decided to pass.
DOES ANYONE RECOGNIE BLITZ'S NEW WEAPONS!
New art on deviantart, Boo1194, if you wanna check it out. I now wanna draw the IMP crew as Cenobites.
If you liked the chapter, please leave a review, even if you hated it because it helps me become a better author.