Tommy

"So stupid," I mumble to myself.

What the hell have I become? Who am I?

When did I ever become the man that walks back to his hotel room… alone. Have I ever done that?

I look down at my feet as they make contact with the carpet below me. I'm walking back to my room, slightly disgusted with myself for not offering her the spot next to me on my bed. This isn't like me at all. The thought had been there, I had planned on having her come back to my room, but then I remembered what she had said earlier and I thought different.

"I should go back."

No.

She doesn't do this stuff, asshole. She's not that kind of woman.

"But maybe she's changed her mind."

Nope.

I see my room come into view and I pull my card from my back pocket and swipe it in. My suite is large, too big for only one person, and I walk in and throw myself on the bed. It's soft and cold and empty.

I should have asked her… but it wouldn't have been right. It has to be her idea. I don't want to be the guy that she thinks I am—not with her. To everyone else, yes, but not her. Freckles just has something about her that drives me wild and makes me reconsider who I want to be. But I'm not the guy for her. She doesn't want me to know more about her than she is willing to tell a stranger. Hell, she won't even give me her phone number. Although I know I could easily find it, I have to respect her wishes.

I press at my eyes with my fingers, hoping that it can somehow rid the regret.

I hear a bell from my phone and I immediately reach for it on my nightstand. I thought it would be a text from the lead coordinator about tomorrow's presentation but it wasn't. It was from Katherine… again.

Katherine: Can we talk now?

I roll my eyes. Against my better judgment, I reply.

Me: What could we possibly talk about?

I get a reply in under a minute

Katherine: A lot. I know you're in New York.

Was she keeping tabs on me?

Katherine: My family is sponsoring the event.

Of course they were. How the hell did I not know this? My agent didn't say anything about it when I booked this event. As if I wasn't under a microscope already, now I'm going to have blogs writing about how I was at a Hillard-sponsored event. I can read the headlines now.

Me: And because your father is footing the bill, you think I owe you my time?

That might have been a little rude, but I really don't care. Katherine and I are not friends.

Katherine: That's not it, T. Come home so we can talk.

Home? Home? I snicker at how ridiculous that sounds.

Me: It's been two years. We don't have a home anymore.

A reply bounces back

Katherine: You know what I mean. My house.

The house she now shares with her current boyfriend.

Me: Don't think John would be too happy to have me there.

Kat: We're not together anymore.

My palms begin to perspire. What the fuck is wrong with me? I begin to type out a message. 'Cheat on him too?' But then quickly erase it. I'm not that cruel.

Me: Am I supposed to feel bad?

Okay, maybe I had one left in the chamber.

Kat: I don't blame you if you don't.

I don't.

Me: You two were made for each other.

Both just a bunch of snakes.

Katherine: I can sense your sarcasm through text.

Me: I'm tired, Kat. What is this about?

I stare at my phone watching the bubble with three little dots move back and forth for several minutes. What the hell is she typing? I set my phone down because I felt like a damn idiot waiting for her reply. That's what she wanted, right? She wants me to still be that love-sick puppy that is waiting on her hand and foot? But I can't be. I'm not. It's been two years and two years is long enough for me to rid myself of the taste of her. I have added notch after notch on my bedpost, erasing all memories of Katherine until all the women in my life have blurred together.

I can't be that guy anymore. I won't let myself. It took me a long time to get to where I am right now. I've powered through it and I won't let Katherine bring me back to that pit that I was once in.

After not seeing a reply for about ten minutes, I decide to put my phone on silent and forget this conversation ever existed. Instead, I shift my focus back to earlier today. Kimberly was… wow. The way she made me feel. The way that I felt about her. I hadn't had a connection with someone that immediate in such a long time, even things with Katherine didn't fall in place that naturally. Kim was a different species of woman. She knew what she wanted and that evidently wasn't me, but there was a moment there where I thought she might be interested. She could deny it all she wanted but there was something hidden behind her gorgeous smile.

She liked it.

That night, I dreamt about her. I picture what things would have been like if I had forgone my manners and said what was really on my mind. In my fantasies, she dragged me back to her room and stripped herself of everything that she had, revealing what I'm sure is an amazing body I would die to worship. I woke up in a sweat and disappointment and threw myself in the shower, hoping the cold would smack some sense into me.

She was a mother… That was a bag of bones that I'm not sure I should involve myself in.

The glare from my phone on my nightstand pulls my attention and I begin to recall the events of last night. Katherine. I groan and muster up some courage to go see if she replied to me. To my horror, she had.

Katherine: I miss you.

No. No. no. no. no.

I press my eyes closed and throw my phone on my bed. My heart is threatening to beat right out of my chest and I hate the reaction she has on even after all of this time. What the fuck, man? She doesn't matter. She's not important. Get your shit together.

Clearing my throat, I move to the bathroom and take a long and hard look in the mirror.

"She's in the past," I say. "She didn't want you," I remind myself. "We don't look back."

Having finally pulled myself out of my head, I throw on a freshly pressed navy blue suit and make my way to the conference room. My Rolex reads that it's seven-thirty in the morning. I adjust my gold cuffs as I pass the receptionist and I throw her a wink. She sighs lightly and I smirk to myself.

I'm not interested in her, but I had to do that just to be sure that I haven't lost my touch. I obviously don't affect Kimberly the way that I affect other women. Maybe I'm just not her type… I shake my head at that bullshit. I'm everyone's type.

I gather myself as I look over the powerpoint for today's lecture and I hear the door of the conference open. My legs nearly buckle as I watch Kimberly walk inside, her luscious brown hair hanging like loose waves down her chest, a tight black skirt, and a white top with a few of the top buttons undone. She's like a sexy librarian… and I'm fucking into it. She's gorgeous.

Our eyes meet as she walks slowly towards the front of the room and takes a seat in the first row. I feel the air flee my lungs as the electricity crackles between us.

"Morning," she gives me a smile that tells me we share a secret.

My mouth is suddenly dry. What is wrong with me? Pull it together, man.

"Morning," I croak in the most ridiculous fashion. I've instantly lost ten cool points. "I see you're on time today."

She nods, "I guess I had a reason to get out of bed."

And I have a reason to put her in one.

The room begins to fill in with more people but my gaze remains on her, we leave so much unspoken between us. Why do I want her so bad? Is it because she wants nothing to do with me? She's not dressed like she wants nothing to do with me. She's dressed like she wants me to notice her and I definitely have.

"Good morning, Doctor Oliver," I hear come from my left. It's Katie… from last night.

In a strange slap from reality, I look to the woman that would typically grasp my attention. I know that if I hadn't run into Kimberly, I would have been all over Katie last night. I think we all know that.

Kimberly takes a quick look between Katie and me and then drops her attention to the stack of papers in front of her. Fuck.

"Morning," I mutter to Katie.

"We missed you last night," she bites her lip. "it would have been so fun to have you there. How about tonight? Same time, same place?"

I swallow. I'm not considering it at all.

"Can't," I shrug. I look over to Kimberly and then back to Katie, "I already have plans."

Take the hint.

"That's too bad. It could have been great."

I know what my usual response to this would have been, 'rain check' or 'I'm sure it would have,' but that's not what I want. I don't want to give someone hope for something that isn't there. And I don't think it would have been a good time, actually. It would have been meaningless sex with someone that I won't be thinking about… ever again. I'm simply just not interested.

"Be sure to take a seat," I clear my throat and point to the back of the room. Some distance, please.

I hear the faintest snort from Kimberly trying to stifle a laugh and I bite at the inside of my cheek to do the same.

The lecture begins and I somehow make it through an hour of talking. I don't even fucking know what I said. It was something to do with facilitating proficient communication between the healthcare team. I really have no fucking clue what came out of my mouth. I could have been retelling my dream from last night for all I know.

The lecture had been dismissed and the attendees were beginning to rise from their seats.

"Ms. Hart," I say, clearing my throat. I beckon my head in a manner that tells her to say back.

She makes her way towards the stage and I feel heat begin to travel down my neck. I've never seen a more beautiful woman.

"Wonderful lecture, Dr. Oliver," She grins, "It was nice to actually listen to it this time."

"That seat is always available," I gesture to the empty spot in the front row, "I'll be sure to reserve it for you for tomorrow."

Her shoulders vibrate when she laughs, drawing me to her.

Once I make sure no one is within earshot, I ask her, "Are we still on for tonight?"

She stares at me, blankly, "Tonight? I don't seem to recall making any plans."

She better be joking.

"Huh?" I raise my brow. "You and me? Tonight? I was going to take you around?"

She looks up as if she was pulling up a memory. "Sorry. I don't recall."

Her devilish smirk tells me that she's messing with me…

"You know, your rejection just makes me want you a hell of a lot more," I whisper.

Her laugh vibrates in my ear, making me dizzy, "Oh, I think I remember now."

"Too late," I growl.

She's in my bloodstream and I won't stop until I make her mine.

I walk past her and her giggle rings in my ear.

Author note: Hey there! Long time no see. I'm sorry for the lack of updates but I have started school once again and it's only getting more difficult. I'm in the middle of a huge project that is taking so much of my time but I knew that I wanted to get a chapter written and updated. I originally had this plan of getting a new chapter written for all of my unfinished stories and I was going to update in time for Christmas as a gift to all of you, but I just wasn't able to do it. I did start it but I wasn't able to complete it. Thank you to everyone that has stuck by me through this wild journey of school. I have one year left if everything goes well. Anyway, I hope you guys like this new chapter. It's cut short. I had this whole other part planned and I wanted to get it out but I decided that this would be a nice breaking point. I'm not sure when I will complete the second part but I'm hoping that I won't make you guys wait too long. Let me know what you guys think in a review or PM. Take care :)