Original Posted On Feb. 12, 2024
Beta Read by: Crowfeast, Darlord331
Review Responses:
Gamelover41592: I actually didn't know it was an Adventure Time reference, lol.
StrongGuy159: Alastor.
Jebest4781: I am looking forward to it.
Bednarczykmiki: She will.
MichaelTheFox: If Andromeda got Alastor's soul, she will become exceptionally powerful.
Sniperbro1998: Everyone loves the interaction between Alastor and Andy. Yeah, Loona and Verosika are perverts too.
Fenris Silverblood: Oh, he'd regret it.
Shade1998: I actually have an idea better than them just being Winners. Winners are the Heaven equivalent of Sinners.
DaftMerc39: A Robo-Naru… HMMMM? Actually, 30. Yes, me too, but that meeting won't be for a short while. You'll love the new art on deviantart. Ooh, I'll check them out.
Dktv9: Thanks.
Nathair1: Yes, HH is about to start. That a good song? Yeah, it really does. Well, Alastor was killed by a Dog when he was a human, so technically, he doesn't really LIKE Naruto, but sees Naruto as a source of entertainment, thus he wouldn't like Andy and Loona. Like, 30+ guests actually. I hope you like this chapter.
ShadowBloodedge9396: The Overlord Meeting, which won't be for a little while longer, will be interesting because of… certain events that I totally called.
MEATBICYCLE: I think that is what might happen. His first meeting will definitely be an Underdog kind of meeting. Yeah, pretty much.
Tank115: I actually didn't know it was Adventure Time.
PLEASE READ: Hm… I'll have to think about it.
Guest: Thank you.
Rick: Pretty much, yeah.
Uber Ghidorah: Do I need to call Uber Godzilla? Sadly, Sir Pentious won't be at the wedding. But yeah, he and the Egg Bois would be bawling their eyes out. Cherri would be bored, due to not having enough Explosions.
Thor94: Thank you.
DireWolf1412: I will, you too.
Nicholas: She won't be scared of Alastor, and yeah, Sir Pentious is one of my favorite characters now, sad he is gone.
Guest: Thank you, thank you. I'll say yes to your weapon question.
FoxDemon1023: You'll see what happens.
Will2801: Glad you liked it.
God of Challenge: Yeah, Moxxie and me both.
MEATBICYCLE: NOW THAT would be interesting.
StarDustDragonknight: Thank you, hopefully you like this chapter too.
Wolf Mike: Eventually.
Reggad the Knife: I do feel like Rose is a given, but I am more interested in Carmilla and Naruto's dynamic. Think about it. Both are parents who love their children, both used angelic metal to kill an angel, and fight for love, not for self-interest.
AbyssWolf0198: It will be a MASSIVE event, that is for sure.
PLEASE READ: Hm… that would be hilarious.
Ice: Nice.
OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR HELLUVA BOSS!
"Hey" = Speaking
'Hey' = Thinking
'Hey' = Memory
"Hey" = To be Determined
Chapter 88: Leather Pants
Dry Fuck Studios…
Blitz's alarm went off… his hand slapping it to turn it off.
Shooting out of bed, Blitz checked on Andromeda.
She was disturbed by the brief moment of loud sound, but was slowly calming down, which allowed Blitz to breath a sigh of relief.
Gently picking the babe up, and holding her securely in his arms, Blitz exited his bedroom, heading to the living room.
As he walked through the living room, a thought entered his head.
He still needed money for the food for the wedding.
Not just food, but booze and other alcohols.
'But how should I go about it?' He thought, holding the babe with one arm as he scratched his chin.
Entering the kitchen, he saw Moxxie at the table, going over their income.
"Sir, I know Naruto and Loona told us they got the location sorted out for the wedding." Moxxie started as he held up some paperwork. "But it seems we still lack insufficient funds for food and drinks."
"Well, then I guess IMP will just need to up their game." Blitz said as he sat down, grabbing the paper out of Moxxie's hand, irritating the white-haired imp. "Hm… but how…"
"That is just it, sir. We can only do one request at a time…"
Blitz's finger covered Moxxie's mouth.
"I have an idea…" Blitz said with a confident smirk, looking down as he felt Andromeda shudder, her big purple eyes blinking open.
"And what, pray tell, is that?" Moxxie asked, preparing for the worst, stupidest idea.
"We will run a deal." Blitz said as he pushed the papers off of the table, grabbing a blank one before writing on it. "Cheap kills, that way, more people will come in and we can make up the difference."
"But sir! We'd need more man power! With just the three of us, we wouldn't be able to accomplish it on time!" Moxxie stated in a panic.
Blitz laughed.
"I already have a distraction in mind that will give us the manpower…"
Skip…
"No…" Verosika stated, standing before Blitz with arms crossed. "I am busy getting everything ready."
"Oh, COME ON, you can spend ONE day with us to helps us." Blitz argued.
"What do I and my crew get out of helping you?" Verosika asked in irritation.
"With the money we will make from this, I'll buy all the food and booze for the after party."
"Deal."
The Imp and Succubus shook hands.
Flyer's of 50% off murders from IMP were printed and posted all over Hell.
To say the line was long was an understatement.
Next Day, Human World, Random Beach…
"So… I guess this is going to work…" Naruto wandered out loud.
He, Andromeda, Loona, Verosika, Millie, Moxxie, Blitz, Verosika's crew, Jayjay, and Vortex were standing on a random beach in their human disguises.
In one day, Verosika had a stage set up and prepared for her to sing with Jayjay.
Vortex and Naruto were the body guards.
Blitz, Millie, Moxxie, Ace, Kat, Milky, Apple, Josh, Coco, and Kiki would lure the victims away and kill them.
Loona… she was on a day off to be with Andromeda.
"Alright, so, what songs are we going to sing?" Jayjay asked Verosika, the duo wanting to make sure which song was sung by the correct person.
"Can I make a suggestion?" Naruto said with a playful and giddy grin. "It is the perfect duet."
Verosika and Jayjay glanced at each other.
"Sure, what is it?" Verosika asked.
Skip, Hour Later…
To little surprise, there was a massive crowd, full of the victims and several non-victims, tables of booze and food spread out across the beach, all of them chanting for the singers.
Naruto and Vortex were on the edges of the stage, keeping more rowdy fans from getting on the stage.
Loona, meanwhile, relaxed in a nearby lounge chair with Andromeda.
IMP and Verosika's crew were scattered through out the crowd, waiting for the show to start before they started their killing spree.
Lights on the stage moved, smoke emitting from fog machines as Verosika and Jayjay got on stage.
Verosika was wearing pants, a blue/white striped shirt. Around her neck was… the Millennium Ring?
Jayjay, meanwhile, had black jeans and a cut off hood top wearing metal rings around her wrists, upper arms, and neck… while holding the Millennium Rod?
"Bakura!" Jayjay said, standing with her hands on her hips. "I know how we're going to defeat the Pharaoh once and for all!"
"Let me guess—" Verosika replied in a tired/'I am done' tone. "We're going to challenge him to a children's card game?"
"No!" Jayjay stated in annoyance. "We are going to steal from him the source of his power, and then we will use it against him!"
"His Millennium Puzzle?" Verosika asked with a head tilt.
The crowd was so confused, but those who were anime fans began to realize what was going on.
"Foolish fool! The Puzzle is not the source of his power!" Jayjay stated, moving her arms in an elaborate manner. "His power comes from his leather pants!"
"Seriously?" Verosika asked with heavy deadpan.
"Yes! Come, Bakura, let us attain his leather pants!" Jayjay asked with much enthusiasm.
"I guess I had nothing better to do today." Verosika grunted.
"What is this?"
The music started to play.
"Oh, FUCK THEY ARE DOING IT!"
*LittleKuriboh: Leather Pants*
Verosika stepped aside, allowing Jayjay to take center stage.
"~Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Let's take his leather pants
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Let's take his leather pants
Ha, ha, ha-ha-ha
Mwa-ha, ha-ha-ha
La la, la-la-la
We want his leather pants
Ga ga, ra-ra-ra
Na na, fla-fla-fla
La la, cha-cha-cha
Take off his leather pants~"
All of Verosika's crew began their deception, swaying horny adults and college students with their allure while IMP had to try a bit harder to seduce people.
Millie lead a man away, having shown… interest… leading him into the nearest ally… only for her to shatter his skull with Leviathan.
"~I'm getting ready, my legs have been waxed
'Cause, when we get them, I am wearing your slacks
Right on my tush
Tush, tush, tush
Right on my tush
We want your trousers, your breeches, your chaps
No, you can't get these pants by shopping at Gap
Their service sucks
Sucks, sucks, sucks
It really sucks~"
"I LOVE YUGIOH ABRIDGED!" a particularly drunk dumbass said as he was getting a blowjob from Milky… who bit and tore his dick off, shoving it in the dudes mouth before he could scream, choking/bleeding him to death.
Meanwhile, Kiki and Coco used their gay charm to lure a small group of women away… only for them to extend their nails into claws, tearing out the human throats.
Verosika took center stage, the lights on her as Jayjay stepped aside.
"~You know that we want them
And you know that we need them
We want the pants
Your leather pants!~"
Blitz blew a dude's skull open point blank as Moxxie haphazardly had to stab his victim to death as Jayjay retook center stage.
"~Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge
(Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Him and me will take your leather pants!
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge
(Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Him and me will take your leather pants!~"
Josh and Kat bludgeoned several people while making out with them.
Apple and Ace, meanwhile, played the long 'Hard to get' game, making people foam at the mouth after poisoning their drinks.
"~Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Let's take his leather pants
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Give us the effing pants
Bla bla, bla-bla-bla
Ja ja, pa-pa-pa
Ya ya, mamma-mia
We want those leather pants~"
Verosika appeared behind Jayjay, slinking beside her, taking Jayjay's hand.
"~We don't want vinyl or chinos or briefs
I am a criminal and he is a thief
Plus we're both hot
Hot, hot, hot
We are quite sexy
Marik, that doesn't rhyme
Shut up, I am Lady Gaga!
I have watched Psycho and I liked Vertigo
The Birds was okay-Ooh! I love Rear Window!
By Alfred Hitchcock
Cock, cock, cock
We love Hitchcock~"
"Good Evening." Naruto said, speaking through a mic, doing an impression of Alfred Hitchcock.
Loona directed Andromeda's attention to where Naruto was.
"Here, that? That was daddy, Andy." She said, making Andromeda giggle as Verosika 'Pushed' Jayjay out of the light.
"~You know that we want them
And you know that we need them
We want the pants
Your leather pants!~"
Jayjay 'Barreled' into Verosika, 'shoving' her out of the light.
"~Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge
(Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Him and me will take your leather pants!
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge
(Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Him and me will take your leather pants!
(Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
We want those leather pants
(Nyoh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Let's steal his leather pants~"
Jayjay posed flamboyantly as she and Verosika emulated the 'Thriller' Dance.
"~Ta ta, ma-ma-ma
Ba ba, wa-wa-wa
Za za, va-va-va
Take off his leather pants
Ga ga, ra-ra-ra
Na na, fla-fla-fla
La la, cha-cha-cha
I like these silly voices~"
Verosika and Jayjay started playing… paddy cake…
"~Wear, wear leather, baby
Work it, move your tush, it's sexy
Wear, wear leather, baby
Work it, move your tush, it's sexy
Wear, wear leather, baby
Work it, move your tush, it's sexy
Wear, wear leather, baby
Work it-
I'm an evil bitch, baby!~"
Jayjay's hand engulfed Verosika's face, 'pushing' her aside once again, Verosika 'Struggling' to get away.
"~We want your pants, and we want our revenge
We want your pants, and we're really just friends!
Je voudrais son pantalon cuir
Son pantalon-why am I speaking French?~"
Jayjay turned to Verosika, a look of confusion on her face.
"~Why am I speaking French?
I don't want to be French!
We want your leather pants!
Take off your freaking pants!~"
Jayjay and Verosika looked to the back of the stage, a bed being pushed out with a pair of leather pants on it.
"~Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge
(Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Him and me will take your leather pants!
Me and Bakura, we will have our revenge
(Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh)
Him and me will take your leather pants!~"
Jayjay took the pants, throwing them over her shoulder, facing the stage as she continued to sing, moving back and forth on the stage.
"~Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
We want the freaking pants
Let's get his leather pants
Let's take his leather pants
Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh
Take off those freaking pants
Remove his effing pants
Let's take his leather pants
Ha ha, ha-ha-ha
Mwa ha, ha-ha-ha
Ga ha, ha-ha-ha
We got the leather pants!~"
"At last!" Jayjay proclaimed proudly as she held up the leather pants. "The source of the Pharaoh's power-his leather pants! They belong to me!"
"You mean 'us'." Verosika corrected, returning to the deadpan/annoyed tone.
Jayjay rolled her eyes as she lowered the pants.
"Don't be difficult, fluffy. Only one of us can wear the pants." Jayjay snipped.
Verosika smirked.
"Okay, Marik. Though I have to say," Verosika said with not-so-subtle insulting tone. "I had no idea you were this keen to get into the Pharaoh's pants."
A look of realization and mild horror appeared on Jayjay's face.
"You know, on second thoughts," Jayjay said, handing them over to Verosika. "You put them on!"
A third figure walked out on stage, distracting the crowd as Verosika slipped the leather pants on.
A clone of Naruto… wearing a black tank top, leather shoes and wrist bands, tighty whities and… the Millennium Puzzle.
"What in the name of Ra is going on?" the Clone questioned in angered confusion. "Why did you remove my trousers?"
Jayjay smirked evilly.
"It's over, Pharaoh! Now we are the ones wearing the pants on this show!" She stated, gesturing to Verosika, who was posing, showing off her leather clad ass.
"Yes, behold! Now the true source of your power is clamped tightly around my buttocks!" Verosika stated, getting men and women horny when she flexed, showing off her butts jiggle physics.
"What?" the Naruto clone asked in UTTER confusion, his nger seemingly vanished. "Don't be absurd. My leather pants aren't the source of my power."
"Wait, what, they're not?" Jayjay asked in confusion before irritation came forth. "But it was so frigging obvious!"
Clone Naruto shook his head.
"No, no, no. I'm afraid my power comes from…" He pointed at his feet. "My leather shoes!"
Jayjay threw herself onto the ground, on all fours.
"No! This cannot be!" She yelled, hitting the ground with her fist. "There aren't even any Lady Gaga songs that rhyme with "shoes"! Curse you, Pharaoh!"
"I really do like the pants." Verosika said, strutting around the stage, getting wolf calls from the crowd.
"Yes, they do look good on you." Jayjay said as she started to stand up.
"Can I have those back now?" Clone Naruto asked.
"No." Verosika bluntly replied.
The trio on stage moved to stand next to each other, holding hands, and bowing as the crowd, now wasted/high, hooted and hollered for more.
"You want more?" Verosika asked, putting a hand to her ear. "DO YOU WANT MORE?"
A sea of sound rippled across the beach… as rivers of blood soaked into the salty sands.
Evening…
"… thanks for coming, and good night!" Jayjay and Verosika said in perfect unison, bowing once more as the now MUCH thinner crowd was drunkenly cheering.
With the crowd now dispersing, the disguised demons gathered their belongings and began trading murder stories.
Specifically, IMP and Verosika's Crew.
"That was an easy crowd." Naruto stated in thanks.
It was his second time being a bodyguard, so he was relieved that no one attempted to get on the stage.
"Yeah, sometimes humans can be better than demons." Vortex said as he cracked his neck. "But don't get use to it, bro."
"I won't." Naruto said as he turned to Jayjay. "Loved the singing, sis. You should go pro with Verosika."
Jayjay rolled her eyes.
"Nah, I like my life singing at Paw Print Paradise. It might be small, but at least I don't need to worry about record deals and greedy mother fuckers trying to do anything to me." Jayjay responded.
"That is… reasonable." Naruto replied.
The group of demons returned to Hell, separating to return to their homes.
Once back in Dry Fuck Studios, Moxxie, Blitz, and Verosika were going over the earnings they made.
"Welp, this is probably MORE than enough." Verosika said as she finished counting her amount, writing it down.
"Yeah, I can't help but agree." Blitz responded as he finished his pile.
Moxxie chuckled.
"What's funny, Mox?" Blitz asked, curious to know what his subordinate was laughing about.
It couldn't be that Moxxie thought he, Blitz, was funny… right?
"It is just nice to see you two working together, after all…" Moxxie finished counting and wrote down the amount he counted. "You two were at each other's throats before."
Blitz and Verosika looked at each other, both having quirked eyebrows as they thought about it.
Flashback…
"WHAT!"
*CRASH*
Millie, Moxxie, Verosika, and Naruto (Who had his stuff and the bag of weed) turned and saw Blitz at the base of a tree, having fallen from it in his shock.
Blitz struggled to stand up quickly, tripping over his tail as Verosika got out of the van.
"What the FUCK did you just say, Millie?" Blitz demanded from his worker. "Your son is Friends with Verosika Mayday!"
"Who said I was Mayday?" Verosika asked, pushing her black hair out of the way.
Her disguise still in place, making her long horns seem short, losing their stars.
Her hair was long, shiny black that went straight to her butt.
She was also shorter, looking like she was closer to Naruto's age.
Simply put, Verosika looked like Marceline from Adventure Time, but as if she stepped out of Woodstock.
Blitz's eyes narrowed dangerously, his nostrils flaring like an enraged dragon.
"I am Verosika, yes, but only because my parents named me after the popstar." Verosika spoke in a slightly different tone, perfectly emulating a different voice.
Millie and Moxxie felt tense.
Millie felt intense guilt as she was the one who dropped the ball and revealed Verosika, and Moxxie was feeling his heartbeat in his balls due to his concern for Blitz's sporadic responses.
Naruto felt his heart beat in his chest, but… he felt calm.
'Please, fall for this.' He mentally hoped, his face softening.
Verosika bit her tongue.
Her chest felt like it was bursting in rage.
Staring at her Ex, the man who hurt her so many years ago, brought up powerful, painful memories.
The betrayal at the hotel.
The pregnancy.
Then… self-loathing.
Giving up Eevee to orphanage, then watching the orphanage burn.
Guilt of knowing she put her there to die.
'No,' Verosika thought as she kept her face a neutral as possible as Blitz looked her up and down. 'No, I need this to work. If I blow this now, Naruto and his parents will probably suffer.'
Verosika gripped her sweaty palm.
'I will not fail him.' She thought as the storm clouds of rage burrowed deep within her heart, causing it to jolt painfully.
Blitz got in close, hand on his shoulder.
"Yeah, skank, you can't hide the smell of whore." He said bluntly.
A vein bulged, Verosika's eyes narrowed to the point they became bloodshot.
Her disguise vanished, revealing the Popstar in all her sexual glory.
"I knew it." Blitz snarled.
"Blitzo." Verosika replied through her teeth.
"The O's silent, cunt!" Blitz snapped.
"Well, I wish it was your mouth." Verosika spoke as she rolled her eyes, turning slightly as she crossed her arms.
Blitz sizzled before he turned to Naruto. "You."
"Sir…" Moxxie started to say, but was silenced when Naruto held his hand up to his father.
Moxxie and Naruto locked eyes.
Father and Son understood what the other was trying to say, and Moxxie backed down.
"What about me, Boss?" Naruto asked with just as much subdued attitude Blitz threw at him.
Blitz walked over to Naruto.
"You need to stay away from this cunt!" Blitz shouted, pointing at Verosika. "She will fuck you, mind, body, soulja boy. She is a vindictive bitch…"
"Oh, gee, I wonder why I am vindictive when SOMEONE stole…" Verosika started to shout, Blitz sizzling as he started to speak with Verosika. "My credit card and maxed it out for shitty horse riding lessons."
"GOD DAMN IT WHORE, YOU WILL NOT LET THAT SHIT GO!" Blitz bellowed, turning his gaze back to the young hellhound. "See what I mean, kid? She is not the kind of per
Flashback End…
"Well," Blitz said in a wise sounding tone. "I guess we both grew up."
"I'd say so as well." Verosika said as she stood up, leaving the room.
She had a long day, and she wanted a nice bath.
Entering her room, she stripped and headed to the bath.
She saw Naruto, Loona, and Andromeda in the bath, bubbles everywhere.
"Oh, Verosika, wanna join?" Naruto asked, smiling as Andy's hand slapped bubbles across his face.
Smiling, Verosika jumped into the tub.
Chapter 88, DONE!
That was fun.
NOW, I KNOW… I stated this chapter would be the wedding chapter… which I have indeed finished the wedding chapter, but… there is a reason.
Love LittleKuriboh's Song Parodies.
Anyway, this is not the chapter I wanted to post… but chapter was the Anniversary chapter… which I post in a week, on Feb. 20th.
SO, I wrote this chapter to post while you wait.
Also, NEW ARTWORK ON DEVIANTART, PLEASE CHECK OUT!
If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a review, even if you hated it because it helps me become a better author.