Tommy

She didn't want to see me?

What the actual fuck. It's me. Me. When has anyone ever turned me down? Repeatedly.

Kimberly Hart is a different breed of woman. She surprises me every time I think I know her. And I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

Her words play in my ear like a bad tune and I can't do anything to get away from it.

I just dropped her off at the airport and I didn't say goodbye. Because it's not. Goodbye is definite. I don't do goodbyes. Nothing ever good comes from that. We have unfinished business.

Unlike all of the previous women, I have to play this slow. For the first time in a long time, I want more. Kimberly makes me want more. She makes me want to change everything that I've built for myself and be the one person I haven't been in a long time…committed.

Jesus. I should be committed to a mental institution instead. What the fuck is wrong with me?

But I can't deny my heart, no matter how badly my head is screaming it to run the other way. The last time I found myself in this position, I swore I wouldn't do it again. I thought I had learned my lesson with Katherine. Getting your heart broken did the trick, but apparently not long enough to know that I don't want to go through that shit again.

I weave in and out of traffic, trying to get away from all of the cars. A part of me wishes I were normal, that I somehow could be able to take up Kimberly's offer about getting a cab, but I just can't get myself to do it. Every time that I sit passenger in someone's car, I feel like I'm breathing through a straw. When I was forced to get a cab outside of Denver International a few years ago, I had a damn panic attack. That's when I knew I needed to get my shit together. I needed to see someone— a professional.

That's where Dr. Henry Richard came in. I picked him solely because of his name. I mean, it translates to Dr. Harry Dick for crying out loud. If anything, I made the appointment because I just thought it was hilarious that I could tell my friends that I would be getting help from a hairy dick. I may be a well-respected doctor, but the name still makes me giggle like a twelve-year-old boy.

After many one-hour sessions, he concluded that I have some deep unresolved trauma that leads back to my childhood. He couldn't have been more on the nose if he tried.

"You've learned to be self-reliant at a young age," He said, "Which isn't a bad thing. It's probably why you're so successful, but the panic attacks… you can't be in control all of the time. It's okay to ask for help."

I fired him the next day. Being in control isn't a bad thing. I like it but my line of work doesn't always allow for it. The issue only really comes up when I have to fly. Whenever I have a flight I either numb the anxiety with some alcohol or a Xanax, but never both. I'll work through my shit in my own time. My own way.

Once I pull my rental into the parking garage at the hotel, I find some relief. The hotel isn't too far away from the fountain. I just have to make sure I retrace my steps carefully. However, I know that I'd sooner be struck by an asteroid than find my wallet in one of the biggest cities in the world. Either way, I have time to kill, and going back to that park might not be too bad.

It'll be like every other time I have gone there. Alone.

As I lose myself deeper into Central Park, the memory of last night begins to fill my mind. How I felt with Kimberly right beside me. How much she made me laugh. It was interesting letting her in just a little bit. I showed her a side I had never been comfortable showing anyone before, not even Katherine, which was interesting considering I had known her for two fucking days. I told her about the fountain, about Marty, about how shitty my childhood had been, and how I had never found the family I had been searching for.

"Family is who you make it," her words replayed. She was right.

While I like to consider myself a lone wolf on most days, I do kind of have a family. My three best friends, Jason, Rocky, and Billy. The guys that saved me when I was lost in the world and had nothing. They are like family, like my brothers, but at the end of the day, we're not. They have a real family, parents and siblings and grandparents— everything that I don't. We met as kids, bonding over our love of martial arts. After we were done at the dojo after school, they went home to parents that loved them and a warm meal. I went to… whoever. Maybe my upbringing was my fault. I was a little shit back then. I got into any fight that I could, would skip class, steal other guy's girlfriends… I wasn't the best person to be around. I can understand why I was returned like a bad plate of food.

I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself at that moment and return to the mission at hand. My missing wallet. It was already late afternoon as I walked through the park, the tall trees hiding the blinding reflection of the sun on the skyscrapers. I tried to blend into the crowd, but it was hard to do while I wore a burgundy suit and towered a solid six inches over the average person.

This was definitely not one of my smarter ideas. Somehow I managed to walk by with only being recognized a few times and I stopped to take pictures as I usually did. It's weird having random people come up to me and know so much about my life while I know nothing of theirs. It's like a fucking zoo. They have this window into my life where they are free to criticize my every move.

I've let a few select people into my inner circle. Trust takes time.

The phone in my pocket buzzes against my leg. When I pull it out and stare at the screen, I can't help but smile.

"Calling me for your weekly STD exam, Jase?" I grin.

"Very funny, asshole," I hear a laugh from the other end of the phone. "Just calling to see if you needed me to bail you out of jail again. And seeing as how you haven't been answering my texts, I just had to know if you were purposely ignoring me or becoming some meatheads next boyfriend."

I throw my head back, laughing. Jason Scott has been my best friend for as long as I remember and my attorney for the last five years. We met years ago when he saved me from getting my ass beat in the streets. We were all surprised when this skinny little kid jumped out of nowhere, throwing kicks. I didn't know it then, but Jason was a black belt in karate. When the bullies scrambled, he held out his hand to me and helped me up. Then he got me to join the dojo in the beginners class and slowly work my way up. For a kid that practically grew up in the streets of New York City, I had to know how to fight. That's where I met Rocky and Billy, my other two best friends. Rocky, the world-traveling chef that had Gordon Ramsay compliment his meal, and Billy, my most trusted financial advisor that turned me into a millionaire by the time I hit thirty-two. That's where all my money came from. Being a doctor doesn't pay for my lifestyle. The four of us have been inseparable since then, but Jason and I have been like brothers.

"You bailed me out once," I laugh, recalling the memory of how I got arrested for streaking at Yankee Stadium. Jason posted my bail and I got a lifetime ban. Which was fine by me. I'm a Red Sox fan. "But to answer your question, I was entirely ignoring you."

"Were you now? Knowing you, it can only mean one thing," He says. "Are you going to tell me about her?"

Of course he knows. It's become routine now that I call him after a sexcapade and tell him all of the dirty details, but for some reason, I'm not rushing to tell him anything. I want to keep Kimberly to myself. I want what we had to remain private.

"There's nothing to say."

"Bullshit," he hollers and I pull the phone away from my ear. "You're holding out on me, Oliver."

I press my eyes closed. "No really. There's nothing to say. We didn't do anything."

"She took one look at you and ran for the hills, huh?" He chuckles.

There's just something about talking to Jason that always lifts my spirits. It can be anything and I'm clutching my ribs from the laughter by the end of the conversation.

"That would be any date you bring home." I return. I move out of the way to let a couple of bike riders go by.

"Are you kidding? I can't keep them off of me."

"Whatever you say, man." I shake my head, a smile still on my lips. "So what do I owe the pleasure? I know you didn't call me just for the hell of it."

"Can't someone just call to see how their best friend is doing?"

Not when it comes to Jason. "No."

"I'm offended," He laughs. "But you're wrong. I heard you were back in New York and I wanted to see how you were holding up."

I roll my eyes. "Let me guess, Kat called you."

"Is water wet?" He replies, dryly. "You know how she is. She told me you were in the area and that you wouldn't see her."

"You know why."

"You don't have to convince me," he says. "As far as that whole situation is concerned, I wouldn't care if you two never got back together. But I know how persistent she is and how when she hits you back up, you go silent for a few days… I'm just looking out for you. I just want to make sure you're okay. I know she's good at getting in your head."

She is. If there was ever a thing Kat was good at, it was making her presence known. She made it nearly impossible to get over her, but I tried with everything in me.

"I appreciate it, but I'm fine," I cleared my throat. "She didn't get to me this time. And I don't care what she says, I'm not giving her the time of day."

He's quiet for a moment. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah," I sigh, "I'm just trying to move forward, you know."

"I get it, man," He answers, softly. "Why don't you come to my neck of the woods for once?"

Jason has been trying to get me to visit him for months. We talk on the phone all the time. We're like a bunch of girls, but I haven't seen him in almost a year. This is the longest that we've been apart. I've been busy traveling everywhere.

"I was just in California."

"And your ass didn't visit me."

"Because I'm not going to a shit hole town called Angel Grove," I smile.

Jason grew up in Brooklyn like I did, but unlike me, he had a family that loved him. He fought his way through law school, earning every A, and finally graduated with honors. So it was an easy decision for him to stay in New York so that he could be close to his parents. But then his grandfather became ill. So he had no choice but to relocate to Angel Grove to help look after him. Jason had recently made partner at JBarkley, which was the most prestigious law firm in New York City, before he got the news of his grandfather. He left everything behind to be there and I don't think I have ever respected anyone more in my life. He practices law from a distance but also goes back and forth from coaching at the local little league and instructing some youth classes at the dojo. Unlike me, he loves children.

"It's not too bad here. Some hot chicks that pop up every once in a while."

I think back to the girls that wouldn't leave me alone all weekend. What were their names again?

"Yeah, well, I think I'm fine in that department."

"Oh, so this mystery girl really did do something to you. Tell me more."

I crack a smile. Maybe talking about her will make her feel more real. "She's different."

My arm sways at my side, a light breeze running up my jacket.

"They're all different."

I laugh, "She wanted nothing to do with me."

"Playing hard to get?"

Was she? I don't think so. I think there was no playing involved. She really was just hard to get. It's a miracle anything happened, to be honest. "No, I think she really just didn't like me."

"You have been looking a little rough in the face. I just didn't want to tell you."

"Shut up," I chuckle. "I mean, she didn't like things about me. How different we were."

The kids. The place we were in our lives. The lifestyle.

"Maybe she just hasn't tried different," he says. "She doesn't know how great it can be."

I think about it for a moment. "Maybe."

I told her I would call her and I still have all intentions of doing so. I don't back out of a promise. But what if after everything, she still doesn't want me? Can I continue to take the rejection?

"Are you pursuing her?" Jason asks.

"I want to."

"Then you should." He answers, simply.

But where would we go from here? It's not like I can just take her away for the weekend or have anything more. She flat out told me that this weekend was all we would ever have. It is what it is.

"She wouldn't tell me anything about herself."

"Oh, so she's married," he murmurs as if that were the obvious answer.

Oh, god. The thought that she would be lying didn't even cross my mind. I'd never been with a married woman… or anyone that was in a relationship… not since I was a dumb kid. I learned my lesson with Katherine. The thought of cheating just absolutely turns my stomach. I can't. I don't cheat. I know how much that hurts.

"Divorced, actually."

He lets out a long breath as if conjuring up a checklist of hot-chick must-haves. "Is she hot?"

"Insanely."

"Young?"

"Our age."

Jason made a sound like he liked what he heard.

"Job?"

"Nurse."

"Why the fuck is this even a debate?" He says, and I can tell by the tone of his voice that he has no idea why this is so difficult for me. "You should be hanging up with me and calling this girl."

I would. In any other lifetime, I would be chasing after this girl with no objections. However, there's a big BUT.

"She has kids," I say, softly

And then there's silence on the other end. Those three words were like tires screeching to a halt.

"…and that's where you lose me," he shudders. "Maybe she has a sister."

I knew once I spilled that little detail, he would understand.

"You love kids, asshole," I smirk.

"Nah, man. I love working with them… and even then, half the time I want to strangle them. But dating someone with kids? I can think of a million other things that I'd rather do than that. There are so many women out there, why settle on someone who already has kids with someone else?"

"I'm not settling," I sigh. "If anything, I feel like I don't measure up to her."

"Nope. Nope. I won't allow that shit. You're good. Too good. If I was a girl, I'd be lining up to date you."

I laugh. Jason is the best hype man. He really knows how to boost the bruised ego.

"So fuck them all. I'm not letting you settle with anyone like Kat again. She knocked you so hard on your ass that you keep thinking that you're not good enough."

"You think I settled with Katherine."

He lets out a loud laugh, "You were way out of her league it's ridiculous."

I certainly didn't think that at the time. When I was with Katherine, I thought I didn't measure up. My friends, including Jason, couldn't believe I had nabbed someone as beautiful as she was. She was elegant and poised, fashionable, and kind to just about anyone. I was so blinded by what I thought was love that I failed to see the horns lurking in the shadows. "And you said nothing."

"I thought you were in love."

"I thought I was," I answered after a moment. I looked out to the crowd, losing my place in the park. None of that mattered anymore. "But Kimberly is… wow."

"…Kimberly, eh?" He snickered, "You have a kink for girls with K names?"

Maybe I do. "That's where the similarities end, my friend."

"You can't lie to me, Oliver. I know your type."

"I have a type?"

"Blonde. Tall. Hot body."

Well, he wasn't wrong, but Kimberly did check out one out of the three. Maybe I was refining my taste.

"Well she's not tall or blonde," I tell him as if that still doesn't make me completely shallow.

He laughs and I really can't believe I've been tricked into talking about her. How the hell does Jason get me to do this shit?

"Well, well, well," he teases. "I thought I'd never live to see the day. She must taste like creme brûlée or some shit?"

"You're lucky you're in California, dick. I would punch you square in the face if I was next to you," I chuckle.

"Just giving you another reason to visit me. Besides, I'd kick your ass any day. I'm now a sixth-degree black belt."

I smile at that. I admire Jason's dedication to the craft. He's so passionate about what he does. Should I just visit him? Maybe settling in a place for a few weeks wouldn't be so bad. Jumping from hospital to hospital is exhausting, and small towns like Angel Grove are always in need of neurologists. Plus, seeing Jason again will be great.

I stop once I take a look around. I'm at the fountain again and I can feel my wallet calling out to me. It must be here somewhere. There's a pull. Now to find it.

"I'm gonna let you go, man. There's something I have to do."

"You better come visit me, Oliver. I'm dying here without my right-hand man."

"We'll see," I tell him. "Catch you later."

I pull the phone from my ear and scroll through my messages, my fingers hovering over the name Freckles.

I know her flight has left now and she is likely up in the air somewhere. But things can't end like this.

Without another thought, I begin to type up a message. I'm there for a moment, erasing and typing, erasing and typing some more.

Me: I'll be thinking about you every night until we make this right. I'll sleep alone tonight and tomorrow and the night after that and the night after that, thinking about how amazing our time was together—

And then it happened. I don't know how, but it did. One minute I'm typing up a message to Kimberly, the next a teenager slamming into me with his bike, sending me down on my ass and my phone flying in the air until it plops onto the water.

It only takes a second for me to blink the vertigo away and dive into the fountain, but by then it was too late. The kid is apologizing profusely to my left but all I'm thinking about is the phone that is dripping with water. I try to turn it on, but after its Olympic-style dive, I don't think I'll be seeing anything but a black screen. I swear this fountain is cursed.

"No," I whisper, "No. No. No."

I grow desperate, pressing any button that might activate the screen. Nothing.

I turn to the kid, who appears to be around sixteen, with fury and disbelief.

His hands come out, defensively, "I'm so sorry, man. I didn't even see you."

Didn't see me? I'm 6'4'' and wearing red. I'm like a walking stop sign. I've never wanted to wrap my hands around someone's neck so much.

He digs into his backpack and pulls out a shirt and begins dabbing at my suit in an attempt to dry it. It does nothing. I don't even care that my suit is drenched. All that matters to me is that Kimberly's phone number is gone.

First my wallet… now this.

The first thing that came to mind was to go to the nearest apple store. So I made my walk there, water droplets trailing behind me. Once I go inside, I dropped the phone on the counter and began praying.

I knew I was shit out of luck when the cashier asked for some identification.

"Unfortunately without an ID, I can't help you," The cashier's name tag read Jeff.

What a weasel little name. I hate you, Jeff.

Even after explaining what the fuck happened, how I lost everything, he wouldn't help me. I had no way to prove my identity. I even told him to google me, but he said that they couldn't accept that.

"Your contacts should be safe as long as they were backed up."

What the hell does that even mean? Backed up where? And what the fuck is the cloud?

Of course, he was no help. So I was left with a nonworking phone and water in my pocket.

Fuck you, Jeff. You just made my shit list.

The only other thing that I could possibly do was find Kimberly's phone number on the database back at the hotel. She checked in to the seminars all weekend. Her name has to be there somewhere, along with her contact information.

I make my way through the lobby of the hotel and see the receptionist for the weekend at her desk. Lacey is slamming away at her keyboard and when her eyes land on mine, she smiles and stops what she's doing.

"Dr. Oliver," she says, "What do I owe the pleasure?"

Oh, god. She has it bad. I mean, it's not a bad thing, but when I'm no longer in the position to act on it, it's too much.

I give her a grin, "Lacey, I've told you many times to call me Tommy."

She giggles in response, her cheeks turning bright pink. She's an attractive woman, but most definitely not who's been invading my mind the last couple of days.

"Sorry, Tommy. What can I help you with?"

How do I put this where it's not entirely creepy… it is. It's entirely stalker material. I'm turning into the man Kimberly told me I was. But you know what? She's worth it.

"I lost my phone and I had a very important contact inside of there. I was wondering if you could look that person up on the database and I could get that phone number that I need."

Her smile disappears, "Umm… I'm sorry but I don't think I can do that. You see, that would be a violation of our security policy."

No. No. I can feel Lacey distancing herself right now after my request. I can't lose her right now.

"But it's not," I lean closer to her. I have to make this sound like business. "We had made an arrangement to meet and possibly have me speak at her hospital."

"Her?" Lacey looks at me.

Fuck. I'm losing her. "It's all business," I say. I have to turn my charm on or this is about to go south really fast. "You know I don't mix business with pleasure."

She nods quickly. Lacey and I have had this conversation many times before. She travels with the agency I've partnered up with and every time that I'm in New York for a conference, she's there. I think I've lost track of how many times she's invited me out to dinner.

"But…now that I'm done here, I guess you and I are no longer work associates." Her smile returns and I swallow. "I'd love to take you out and get some dinner, but, unfortunately, I also lost my wallet."

"Oh, wow. You really have had a bad day."

"The worst," I frown, "But you could make it better by looking that person up for me. I won't tell anyone."

She's quiet for a moment, her fingers hovering over the keyboard in front of her. When she begins clicking away, I feel like all of my prayers have been answered.

"What's the name?"

"Kimberly Hart."

She nods as she begins looking up Kimberly in her database. After a few long pauses, her eyes flick up to mine. "Are you sure that's the name?"

"Yes," I answer quickly, "H-A-R-T."

Lacey turns to her screen again and shakes her head. "I'm sorry but she's not listed as an attendee."

My face falls. Her name isn't listed?

"There has to be a mistake. Kimberly. K-I-M-B-E-R-L-Y."

"I understand, but that name is not here. I don't have a record of her attending. We can search her up a different way. We can try finding her through her Hospital. I have all attendees categorized by their location."

I'm quiet for a moment. I don't know it. Kimberly wouldn't tell me anything about herself.

"I'm not sure what it is."

Lacey lifts a curious brow, "Okay. We can try city. What's the name of the city."

I don't know that either. Kimberly was so damn secretive…Kimberly…if that's even her real name. Who the fuck is she? Is she even a nurse? Was she even supposed to be here? Whose body did I stick my fingers in?

Holy shit. I should know this stuff. This is basic information. Even when I have one-nights-stands I make sure to thoroughly research them by the time I invite them out to dinner. Kimberly just fried my fucking brain. I let all that shit slide. I got careless.

"I don't know it."

I can see all the questions forming behind Lacey's eyes. Hell, I have a few questions myself. "Unfortunately, I can't help you out more, Tommy. I wish I could."

"Maybe you remember her," I try, desperately, "She was 5'2'' on a good day, wavy caramel-colored hair that went just a little past her shoulders, a banging body, a no-shits taken attitude, and a cute little nose that scrunches when she laughs."

When I'm done talking I am completely out of breath. Lacey is staring at me, eyes narrowed. She knows that I'm not needing Kimberly's number for business. It's all pleasure there.

"No." She lifts her chin and closes out of the database search, "I don't recall anyone with that description."

Don't be such a bitch. This is potentially the love of my life.

I'm fucked. I don' know what to do. The only thing I can hope for is that Kimberly finds it in her heart to text me first. Maybe I can put it on my Instagram, like an ad. No… she'd hate me.

With an exhale, run my fingers through my wet and messy hair. I can't believe this shit. All I want to do now is crawl into my bed and hope that the housekeeper hasn't changed my sheets.

But as I begin to walk away, Lacey comes up behind me, her arm looped with mine. I look down at her, brows furrowed.

"Where to?" She says, her smile a mile wide, "I'm buying."

Author note: Hey guys! Sorry for the late update but some things came up in life and now my schedule has changed. Summer is over for me now. I'm really disappointed that I didn't get a chance to finish the other two pending stories that I have on my page, but that doesn't mean I wont try. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this new update. More Tommy/Kim coming up soon. Please let me know what you guys think in a review or PM. It always makes my day! See you guys in my next update!