cw / explicit descriptions of hanging

a/n: this is part two of "the brotherhood arc"

It had taken her all but two days to find out about their location, and another three to actually locate them.

She had heard much and more about the Brotherhood Without Banners. They seemed to occupy a similar role to her, though went about it in a more violent way - which was exactly what she needed now.

Starlight slowly wound around the trees, the foliage getting increasingly thicker, pulling at her hair, getting stuck on her clothing. But she was headed in the right direction.

The trees gave way to a clearing, and she knew she was not alone anymore.

Leaves and bushes rushled, a branch broke, and sunlight reflected off a surface.

She dismounted her mare and walked into the clearing, where she made a grand gesture of drawing her dagger, laying it on the ground before her, and raising her hands above her head.

"I need your help."

A second passed. Then another. Then a single man stepped out of the trees before her.

He was almost repulsive to look at. His skin was ashen, cheeks sunken in, hair half-fallen out, with an eye patch over his right eye. Wounds littered his body, some of them would have certainly been deadly. He looked more corpse than man.

"And what would someone like you need help with?"

His voice sounded rough and hoarse, like he had lived a dozen lifetimes already.

"A friend of mine was murdered. I need help pursuing his murderers."

"So you want revenge."

"I want justice."

Oberyn had taught her the difference. Revenge was blinding, a one-way track down which once departed, there was no turning back from. A person who gave themselves to revenge would dedicate their entire life to seeking it, eventually forgetting the reason for the quest itself.

Justice was light itself - a guide, a companion, a friend. Seeking justice meant adhering to the laws of both gods and men, and changing the way things are done on a fundamental basis. The Father acted as a guiding hand for those who pursued justice, while the Stranger waited at the end of the road to revenge.

The man looked around the clearing, likely making eye contact with the others hiding in the bushes. "And who is it we are helping?"

"I have many names. But you may call me the Golden Paladin."

He laughed out. "I didn't expect you to be this young."

"You don't believe me?"

"No, no, I do." He chuckled still, but gave a short wave with his hand, signalling the men still in hiding to join them in the clearing.

She counted nine in total. Two of them still had arrows knocked into their bows, while the rest of them were in the act of sheathing their swords and daggers.

"I am Beric Dondarrion," the man introduced himself. "So tell me - who is it that has provoked the Golden Paladin like this?"

She stood in the middle of the path, alone. The others were hiding amongst the trees and bushes lining the tight road.

"And you are sure this will work?"

"Thoros saw them coming down this way in his flames," was all Beric had said.

To say she was wary of the priest was an understatement. Seeing things in flames, wielding a burning sword, bringing people back from the dead… No sane person would even attempt these things, least of all repeat them on a regular basis.

And yet the mad man seemed to have said true, because soon after they had taken up their positions, a group of six riders came trotting down the road. She took a deep breath, allowing herself to tap into that part deep inside of her.

(She would never dare to actually open the gate. Just remembering the feeling of doing so would suffice.)

Rafal reined in his horse as his eyes landed on her.

"What are you doing here?"

"You wanted me, did you not?" She spread her arms wide. "Here I am. Come and get me."

It only took a few moments for him to draw his sword and come charging at her. Yet before either of them could do much else, the Brotherhood descended onto the Black Schmetterlinge.

Thoros ignited his sword, and shortly after Beric his (where had he gotten one of those monstrosities?), and with that simple action brought the horses into a frenzy, two of them even throwing off their unprepared riders.

She drew her dagger and hurled it at Rafal, hitting him in the shoulder and making him lose his weak hold on his horse as well. The moment he hit the ground she jumped onto his chest and punched him in the face as hard as she could.

"Why?"

He looked at her in confusion, the blood from his nose running down the side of his face. "Why what? Why I killed that smith?" He laughed. "Because I could."

Her lip trembled. She grabbed her dagger and ripped it out of his flesh, making sure to make it as painful and agonising as possible. He screamed, but she didn't care.

The fighting around her had ceased, the men having been tied up and the horses calmed. Only the swords still burned.

The brotherhood strung the men up on the trees lining the path, the word of the Golden Paladin good enough for an immediate death sentence.

Beric led her to Rafal's tree, the man still standing on a small wooden block, looking… scared.

A coward with a big mouth.

"He is all yours," Beric said.

Mine.

He was right. She was the one who caused this, she was the one who initiated the hunt for him, she was the one who should end this. End this - by killing him.

It wasn't like she had to actually put a blade through his heart and look him in the eyes as the life faded from them. She simply had to kick away the wooden block standing between him and death. Nothing more. She wouldn't even have to look at him. The rope would tighten around his neck, restricting his air, making him gasp and gurgle. Spots would appear in his vision, before it blurred and turned black. And unless the branch broke, he would die. All on his own.

Killing him was what a good man would do. It was what a good knight would do. She could do it. She could. She-

She turned around, and walked away.

There was a small river nearby, upon the shores of which Beric found her. He sat down beside her without a word, staring out to the water.

"I apologise," she said quietly, "for not being able to kill him."

"That is not a thing you need to feel sorry for. In fact, I commend you for your strength."

"I would hardly call not being able to kill a ruthless murderer strength. If I can't kill someone like that, what will I do when someone's life is on the line? When my blade is the only thing standing between life and death?"

"Have you ever killed someone before?" he asked.

She simply shook her head.

"Be glad of it. And pray you never come into such a situation." He picked up a pebble and threw it into the water. "Killing changes you. It also never stays at one dead body - once the blood lust is awoken, there is no turning back."

She pulled at the chain of her necklace, letting her fingers trace the cool metal, and wishing not for the first time this week to see her mother again.

"Would they still love me if they knew I failed at one of the most fundamental things that made a knight?"

Beric didn't react for a moment, and she almost saw this as confirmation, when he finally said, "Let me show you something."

He stood up and held his hand out to her. Confused, she took it, suppressing the whimper at the heat emanating from it, and let herself be drawn to her feet.

"Follow me."

a/n: sorry this one was a bit short. but there will be one in the future that will hopefully make up for it. until then - we're at the half-way point, so tell me what you think of the story so far! where do you think this will go, what will happen with benjiamin vypren etc. i'd love to hear from y'all :)

next week will finish the brotherhood arc