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𝕸𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖈𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖊


Act III - Birth Of The Demon


Chapter 11: Inner Demons


"This is so exhausting!" muttered Daphne, as she pored through the pages of Moste Potente Potions, making notes on for her potions essay. Harry had missed the last potions class, and somewhere in her worry for her fiance and the hundred and eleven things zooming in her head, she had buggered up her invigorating potion. She was lucky that Professor Snape had only punished her with a thirteen inches on the properties of moonstone and their role in invigorating draughts, to be due next class. Normally she'd have liked to do it with Harry, but he looked like a little solitude would be better for him, to digest the recent events if nothing else.

Now only if she could get her fiance to stop treating her like she was made of porcelain that would shatter at his slightest touch. Harry didn't quite show it, but it was obvious that he was still quite affected by his experiences during the ritual.

"Excusez-moi?"

Less than the identity of the voice, it was the tone that made Daphne tense instantly. She looked up from her book, and found Fleur Delacour looking at him, her deadly calm hazel gaze showing a sharpness that Daphne was certain could stun a weak-willed person easily.

"Yes?"

"May I sit here?"

Daphne looked around at the vast library around her. It was mostly empty, with the nearest student sitting two blocks away. For whatever reason the veela was asking permission, lack of space was definitely not it.

"Suit yourself."

The veela raised her wand, and Daphne felt a sudden urge to grab her own, but it was unnecessary, for she only erected an imperturbation ward and then put her wand down, taking a seat opposite her.

"Potions 'omework?"

"More like detention," Daphne said. She knew that the last thing Delacour would want was to engage in idle chatter with her, so if she was doing it, then whatever she wanted to talk about was just that serious. "Professor Snape doesn't like to take points from Slytherin, so he makes us do these things. Not that it'll help. I don't think I'll be continuing with potions anyway."

"Oui, 'Arry mentioned you wanted to be a duelist."

Daphne paused, and looked up at her. "He talks about me with you?"

Delacour frowned. "Should he not? You are… his fiance, after all."

Despite herself, Daphne smirked. "That sounded painful to admit."

"Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone special just drop into their hands."

Daphne curled an eyebrow. "True. Getting chosen to be Harry's financial manager at random like that? I can't imagine how someone could be that lucky."

"What can I say? I didn't have my papa coerce young men into pitying their frail leetle girl."

Daphne fisted her hands. As much as her rage towered at the hussy's accusations, they were words that she couldn't argue against because she knew the truth behind them. They were the same words that reverberated in her head every single time Harry went out of his way to do something for her, whether it be accepting her hand in marriage, spending every spare moment poring over tomes in the Lair, sacrificing his own victory to protect her from the bludger or as of most recently, his tendency to keep her at arms' length as much as possible.

The veela continued on inexorably. "Do not pretend, leetle girl. You're cute, but I'm superbe. Your hair iz pretty, but mine is magnifique. You are pale, and my skin is sexy and golden. You're heavier. I'm belle and hot, and… how do you Eenglish say it? Exquisite?"

She grabbed her breasts, then her fingers sauntered all the way down to her waist and butt, and ran down her long legs.

"And most important of all," she flipped her hair, "I'm veela. I can satisfy him in ways you cannot imagine, leetle girl."

"Yet I'm his fiance and you, his whore," Daphne whispered back, glaring at the veela, who glared back in return. "Now if you're done insulting me, then I'd like to return to my task. I've better things to do than trade insults with you."

Delacour's eyes narrowed like daggers. For a moment, Daphne thought that she'd attack her. But that would be absolutely out of character for the woman. As territorial as veela were, stupid Delacour was not. She had enough chances with Harry in the summer, and had probably slept more times with him than Daphne had even been in Harry's presence. Regardless of their relative positions in Harry's life, she doubted Delacour would walk all the way up here, only to trade insults.

"You're right," said Delacour, her tone muffled. "You are to be his wife, while I am… nozzing. Not yet. But that won't stay ze same. I too will be his wife. You will see."

"Good," said Daphne, grabbing her quill. Maybe she had read her wrong after all.

"'Arry is avoiding you, isn't he?"

Daphne flinched. Of all the things Delacour had said this evening, this affected her the most. Knowing the veela, it could mean a whole host of unsettling things.

But she wasn't going to sit back and take shots either.

"I imagine he's doing the same to you?"

Delacour slumped a little bit, her entire offensive facade vanishing as she wrapped her arms around her chest. "'E is."

The shadow of a spiteful grin flickered on Daphne's lips for a moment. Patience was the name of the game, and the first to speak, lost. Finally after moments of silence, Delacour spoke again.

"'Arry does not show it, but it's obvious he's affected by his experiences. I think it's because of his experience with his… relatives." Delacour spat the last word out like it was the vilest curse imaginable. "Did you know that for the first five years of his life, he thought his name was Freak?"

"I thought they just…"

"Zey didn't just treat him as one. They called him Freak."

Daphne clenched her fists, the rage returning with full vengeance. A small part of her felt betrayed that Harry had confided in Delacour and not her.

But, if he had done so, and if he did hide it from her, then he must have had a good reason for it.

Right?

Suddenly, she wasn't sure if she wanted to find out the answer to the question.

"When he and I first had sex…."

'I don't want to hear about that!" Daphne snapped. "Now if you've nothing else to—"

"Listen!" Delacour snapped, the fire in her eyes telling Daphne that what she was about to tell her wasn't just her being petty. "You theenk he's always been the remarkable lover you know? I'll tell you. Ze first time we had sex, 'Arry actually panicked. 'E could kiss, yes, but even then, he'd hesitate. 'E… as there, in my place, and he wanted to be intimate with me, because I was hurting, but he was…. He was afraid. Of me touching him. Like zat!"

"It was like… 'E wanted to run away."

Daphne felt ice form in her stomach. "Do you think he was—"

"Abused?" Delacour whispered. "I zink so."

"Bu— but," Daphne stammered, "He is confident. He — he is not afraid to touch me. The first time we kissed, we — his hands explored my body. He was… so confident. So… suave. And he's…" Daphne blushed. "He's so aggressive when we're together. "

Delacour let out a dark laugh, as if amused by an inside joke. "Do you have any idea how long it took for me to push him to zat kind of thinking?"

Daphne froze. "...what?"

"I said I was ze one that set him to zat kind of thinking," Delacour admitted freely. "Mostly through minor suggestions, offhand comments, occasionally by making him put me through difficult positions, telling him I liked it. Making him… hurt me. But eventually, I was able to get him to follow that way of thinking. Zat my body — zat ze woman's body, is for ze man to enjoy, in whatever way he thinks fit."

Daphne narrowed her eyes. "That's such… Actually that's exactly what I'd expect from a veela."

"It was the only way to go ahead with it. I wanted him to enjoy it, but he wouldn't. He was afraid, like he expected me to hurt him. I made love to him many, many times, every single day, and even then, it took 'Arry over a month to just learn to initiate sex. Oui, not even sex got the point across that I'd naturally like to spend time with him."

Daphne froze. Hadn't Harry said something similar to her back then when the term had started?

"At least zat way, 'Arry would initiate. All those times you think he is being aggressive, he is thinking that is the way you want him to be. He is just trying to please you, not dominate you."

"Why—" Daphne croaked. Her voice came out weaker than she'd have liked. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because as much as I despise you," said Delacour. "I know that 'Arry, in his own stupid way, loves you." It looked like it physically hurt her to admit the fact. "You heard what happened in the Anima. We hold a lot more hold on him then we realised. "

Daphne swallowed heavily as she fearfully thought of her actions doing anything that could mentally or psychologically hurt her man. But deep down, a part of her revelled in the knowledge that she held such power over him.

"Good," She drawled. "Then stop being a bitch to me and everything's solved."

"Oh, please," scoffed Delacour. "I've seen you, girl. You are always trying to hog his time away. You think you're subtle, but you're not. Ever since you saw him — us, in his room, training, you've tried to be more intimate with him. What is zat if not competition?"

Daphne flushed. She had that spot on. But that didn't mean she didn't have anything to say.

"And what of it?" She shot back. "Harry's my fiance. You're an assistant professor at Hogwarts, and you abuse your position to sleep with him every chance you get in his room."

Delacour smirked. "Jealous?"

"Bloody yes I am," Daphne shot back. "Harry's my fiance, and you're sleeping on his bed every goddamn night. How is that fair?"

Delacour pulled back from the table and crossed her arms again. "And that's why, I came to discuss 'Arry with you. He has chosen both of us, and zis… game we play, it can hurt him. Badly. With 'ow he has grown up, and with his Death-magic, he is already afraid. You know how he asked ze professors at the workshop to help him find a way to break your curse?"

Of course she did. That her fiance went so far for her made butterflies flutter in her stomach just by thinking about it.

"What about it?"

"'E coerced us. All of us. Said that he wants us to help him find a way to break your curse. Or else, he will stop working in the workshop. I was… so angry with him. It was like, he chose you."

"Maybe he did," Daphne said, crossing her arms, doing her best not to look smug.

"Silly leetle girl," said Delacour. "Then you don't know him like you think you do. 'Arry told me. 'Arry was afraid of losing you to the curse, but he was equally afraid of killing you accidentally. Like zat day, in the Chamber."

Daphne shivered. She hadn't told it to anyone yet, but she had nightmares about it later on. Feeling that coldness incapacitate her, that icy sensation entering through her mouth and down her throat, freezing her insides until all that was left was a barren nothingness. That she had come that close to having her magic extinguished forever was not an experience she wanted to relive again.

"'Arry was afraid he would do something to you, and that day's mistake has only made it worse. 'E once told me he'd find the cure, make sure you're safe. And then, he'd try to walk away. "

That wiped all the smugness from her face.

"Same for me. 'Arry thinks he owes me for what happened with my job. 'E thinks if my warding technology succeeds, then I can live a life free of my veela allure… like a normal witch. 'E thinks that Monsieur Black has Madame Bones to live with, so even if something happens to him, we would be 'appy."

Daphne looked at Delacour, horror filling her eyes. She wanted to refute every word the veela uttered, but somehow, she couldn't. Knowing Harry, knowing how he thought, knowing how he had readily agreed to sacrifice his own future prospects at love and family to be with a girl he had not shared two words with over the last four years, she could perfectly see how his experiences might drive him to such a line of thinking.

And then she said her piece.

"Oh, fuck that."

Delacour blinked.

"Do not even think that I'm going to let Harry do something like that," said Daphne. "I don't care about you, but I'll slit my own throat before I see Harry give his own life and happiness up for me, for us. As for him walking away from this? Like Hell. He's stuck with me, with us, whether he likes it or not. And if he doesn't understand that, I'll pummel that into his thick skull."

Delacour looked baffled. "You —"

"Letting you snatch him away from me is unacceptable. Letting Harry walk away from me, from us, is equally unacceptable. And I don't know what his deal with this Ignotus Peverell is, but letting him close himself off to us is least acceptable of all." Daphne snapped, fists clenched and arms folded in her chest. A 'No arguments allowed' stance. "If that means dealing with your bitchy self for the rest of my life, then so be it. Both of us will go to him right now, and get that in his head so deep that he doesn't think of such stupid things ever. Are you with me, or what?"

"Crude," said Delacour with a huff, but Daphne could see that she too was pleased with her reaction. "But oui, I agree. But…"

"Now what?"

"I theenk that was ze old 'Arry. Ever since the ritual, he's… changed? Do you not think so?"

That stumped her. And Delacour was right. She could have never expected Harry Potter of all people sharing his deepest fears like that. Or publicly acknowledging what they meant to him either.

"Okay, so he's got some sense drilled into him. So what? There's a heck lot more stupid left in his pig brain that I want to punch with my knuckles."

Fleur snorted. "Such a barbarian."

"Whatever works," said Daphne, standing up and packing her notes up. "Let's go meet the idiot."

"Our idiot?"

"Whatever."


Harry groaned as he picked himself up from his bathtub, feeling exhausted, tired and hungry. Despite not attending half the classes at Hogwarts, he was feeling utterly exhausted from studying the notes and treatises that Tonks had given him as part of his Initiation programme into the Department of Mysteries. Most of it dealt with understanding the nuances between the human mind and the animal. As awesome as shifting into an animal form appeared at first sight, the truth was that gaining the form was the easier part of the process. Learning the potential triggers that caused the animal mind to flare was an absolutely demanding task, and no matter how much he tried to control it, there were times he subconsciously shifted to his owl-mindset without even changing his physical form.

Was it any surprise he was skipping classes?

In fact, the transformation was obstructing his plans to carry out his coup. After days of planning with Fleur, it was almost insulting that he had gotten derailed by his own magical training. On the other hand, his newly gained instincts had opened certain… options that weren't there previously.

Getting up and wrapping a towel around, Harry hunched over the mirror over the sink and looked at his form. The constant physical endurance training had done good to his body, as had the clean living that Sirius had gotten him to follow. But that wasn't what he was concerned about.

His bright green eyes glanced at their reflection for several moments, taking in their somewhat jaded appearance and the small dark circles forming around them…

… Only to morph into a dense, yellow-eyed stare and take everything around him all at once, and wincing in pain.

Keeping his eyes shut, Harry reached around for the wall to his right, and rested against it. After several anxious seconds, he opened his eyes and found everything back to normal again.

Harry sighed.

He was still getting used to the side-effects of his transformation. Just like Hedwig had promised, she had taken him under her wing — literally in fact, given he was actually shorter in height in comparison — and tried to impart him everything she thought he needed to understand about being an owl. It involved getting to perch on branches, hanging upside-down from time to time, and staring through the dense canopy into the dense, shrubbery-infested floor of the Forbidden forest in the dark of the night.

He was still half-arsing his way through winged flight, having fallen face-first too many times to count, much to Hedwig's annoyance. He had even heard her mutter something about 'her wizard shaming her' and 'loss of reputation' and 'dimwits' during the entire process.

Harry had initially been a little apprehensive about spending his nights with Hedwig, but he soon found out that he was feeling slightly lethargic during the day, and unusually energetic during the night, the latter more so. His peak magical activity used to be sometime after breakfast, but now it was close to midnight. That said, his body was still getting used to the sudden and bizarre shifts to his biological clock, ending him up with several nights of insomnia with pepper-up potions and dreamless-sleep potions keeping him up to snuff. It was really terrible that he didn't know any glamour charms to keep up appearances.

And then there was the entire issue of subconscious transformations happening during sleep or moments of emotional upheaval. He had already hacked apart his bedsheets at least a dozen times over the past week, when his skin transformed into sharp scales, tearing the soft fabric apart. Sometimes the sound of something absolutely innocuous, like a buzzing fly, or a silent breeze would wake him up in the middle of the night, as if woken to some giant alarm clock. There was that one time when the tolling of the bells at the end of a class period had flared his hypersensitive auditory receptors, causing blood to ooze out of his ears.

It was a mess.

But that didn't mean it didn't come with benefits.

Closing his eyes, Harry ordered his thoughts, made a small effort of will, and vanished.

As anyone that knew him would swear, he was far better at the 'how' of magic than at the 'why'. He focussed on the texture of his skin altering, activating a property that was previously absent, but still not abnormal in any way, as strange as it sounded. For all he cared, it was a property that he himself had failed to discover for all these years. Until now.

Of course, he wasn't truly invisible by any means. Becoming truly and completely invisible was a real pain in the arse. Passing light completely through his body made him feel like he was standing naked inside a freezer. He had done it once, but it was more of a hindrance than a use, since it all but made him blind at the same time. Becoming unseen though, was an entirely different thing. All he had to do was reduce his visibility to little more than a few flickers in the air, something his camouflaging skin could do easily, and focus on creating an aura of ordinariness around him, a feel of boring unremarkability that one felt when tiring at a job they didn't like. Add in a silencing charm, and remaining unnoticed was as easy as breathing.

It was nothing compared to the absolute and impenetrable invisibility of his Cloak, but it did offer him a lot more mobility, and was a lot less energy-intensive than the disillusionment charm.

Illusion magic. It was one of the newer branches of magic that Harry had discovered he had a knack for since the ritual. And what a versatile thing it was. You could break a tangible shield with an offensive spell, but how could you shatter an illusion when you yourself were unaware that the shield was an illusion? The art of bewitching and ensnaring the senses was a delicate and subtle thing, and when combined with the right tools, could become deadly useful in his arsenal.

He theorised that he had gained this affinity from his animagus form. After all, thestrals were creatures of illusion themselves, and owls in mythology were creatures that could travel between Anima— the world of illusion and the mortal world, serving as messengers of gods, divine spirits and departed ancestors. The Lair had many such books on such symbolic magic invoked through animagus transformations. Owls were associated with 'wisdom' in multiple religions, so theoretically, he could also expect some development in the psychic-based disciplines of magic, like enhanced learning, or quick recapitulation powers. Either way, he had some brand new tricks up his sleeve.

Then he noticed that his towel was still visible.

…. Okay, he might have been a little overzealous about it. It was a nifty trick, being able to wandlessly vanish from sight, but just like his animagus form, it would only turn useful once he mastered the art. Until then, he'd have to suffer the humiliation of changing back into human form without his clothes on. But Tonks, Sirius— or any animagus ever, could easily shift from human to animal without the slightest ruffling on their clothes. If they could do it, so could he.

Deciding on his future endeavours, Harry reappeared again, and was just about to get out of the bathroom when he heard the chime go.

He blinked, and cast a quick tempus charm. This was dinner time, which meant everyone should have been in the Great Hall.

Another ring from the chime prompted him to make haste. He wrapped up one of his mass-purchased blankets around himself. They were his solution to the ever-growing number of his torn clothes, at least until he gained some control over his animagus transformations, since anything that got torn by the scales was incredibly resistant to magical repair.

Death-energy was the likely culprit.

"Coming!" He yelled, and walked ahead and opened the door….

And saw both Daphne and Fleur standing outside his door, with Daphne looking absolutely pissed off, like she would like nothing better than to cut him into little pieces, and Fleur wearing one of her 'mad-harpy' smiles, one that told the recipient that he'd soon curse himself for being born.

"Evening, 'Arry," said Fleur, her saccharine tone enough to make Umbridge clap in approval. "Won't you invite us in?"

"And why are you wearing that ridiculous blanket?" added Daphne.

Harry swallowed. Maybe he was more tired than he thought. Why else was he seeing such horrific hallucinations?

….

….

….

"You're telling me that you're taking private instruction from that Tonks woman to master your animagus form," said Daphne.

"Yes."

"And you're hiding in your room because you're unable to control it."

"Yes."

"And the animagus mind can catch you off-guard and cause you to subconsciously transform if you accidentally trigger it?"

"At the risk of sounding repetitive, yes."

"Then why haven't you told me—" Fleur coughed. "I mean, us, about it?" finished Daphne.

"Because it's… private Unspeakable training?"

What else was he supposed to say?

"Bollocks!" said Daphne. "You didn't have time to let me know even once over this past week that you're dealing with this? I wasn't born yesterday, Harry Potter. Tell us the truth. Why have you been avoiding me — us?"

Harry looked down at the floor. "Because I'm a danger to you. To everyone, even myself, until I'm able to get this under control."

"'Arry, you're not a—" Fleur began, but he cut her off.

"I am," he stressed. "And no, it isn't because of whatever happened in the Anima. Well, maybe a little, but I'm not lying. It's like Sirius said. Controlling my animagus instincts is a lot more difficult than expected. It's… it's dangerous."

"Talk to me, Harry," pleaded Daphne, holding his hands. "What are you so afraid about? These instincts… what are they like?"

Fleur said nothing.

"They're… sudden," he admitted, speaking softly. "Most of the time it's nothing, or at least, I think there's nothing. But there are triggers, things that cause them to act up. And trust me, there's nothing playful about it, or amusing. It doesn't even need to feel hungry to think about prey. And I mean prey. The other day I was watching Parkinson strolling across my corridor, with no one else, and for a moment, I couldn't think of anything but ending her."

He didn't know it, but a cold smile was forming on his face.

"I'd have to make it fast," he went on. "I'd take her out before anyone could see or hear anything. A stunner, or at least a petrifying spell, coupled with a silencing charm would have done the deed. Sprint a dozen steps, and I could pull her into my room and hide the body in my trunk, with no one the wiser. And then I could grab her unconscious head by the jaw and twist it sharply to the—"

"Harry!"

He blinked, and realised that he was breathing hard, and that his body was beginning to feel tougher than usual. The skin on his arms had already morphed into thin scales, but the overall colour was still the same. That and the room had gotten extraordinarily cold, with Daphne staring at him with vivid fear in her eyes. Fleur on the other hand… was tougher to read.

He clenched his teeth. Anger was a good counter to the owl-instincts. For whatever reason, his form didn't do rage very well. It was all cold and calculated murder, with rapid actions and incredibly fast reaction time. He could feel the owl-mind snarl and spit in disappointment, before receding back into the darkness of his mind. The scales too smoothened into normal skin, losing their appearance and texture.

Daphne put her hand in his this time. "Harry…"

"That's what I meant by triggers," he said. "It's primitive. Violent. It doesn't… think. It's pure instinct, feeling, cold emotion. A stone-cold, aerial hunter. Death from above."

Daphne regarded him for several seconds. "Well, that's all kinds of fucked up."

Fleur still didn't say anything.

Harry huffed out half a breath in a little laugh. "It's supposed to get easier once I master my transformation."

"And how close are you to getting there?"

"I can choose to call up my owl-vision at will, and change my skin. But I cannot always control when it changes, especially if something around me triggers it. I still cannot transform without the Homorphus Charm, and trust me, it's like getting hit by a low budget Cruciatus."

Daphne winced.

"Unlike what Lockhart preached, it doesn't work on werewolves, only on animagi. Not to mention my clothes are gone every time I transform back." He ignored her smirk. "It's humiliating."

"Tell me, 'Arry," said Fleur out of nowhere. "Miss Tonks is an Auror, non? Why is she helping you, and not Professor McGonagall?"

Oh right. They didn't know about her role as his handler.

"Professor McGonagall recommended her," said Harry. "She's very skilled at animagus transformation."

"She's an animagus too?" asked Daphne. "I was looking through the Animagus registry the other day. I don't think I saw her name on it."

Harry bit his lip. "She's an Auror that specialises in stealth and information gathering. Wouldn't be very useful if everyone knew what her form was, would it?"

Daphne frowned, but nevertheless accepted his response.

"Tonks is… very sensitive to animal aura, and can connect to other animals in ways that will make Hagrid jealous. That's why McGonagall is getting her to help me with it. She thought that my form would probably be a thestral, because that's the original Peverell family totem, and brought Tonks in, just in case, she needed to control the animal if I accidentally morphed into it."

"I… see," said Daphne. "And is she any good?"

"Very," said Harry with a smile. "She says that it's part of the process. It's just a little difficult for me, because unlike normal creatures, magical animals tend to have a bit more personality and a unique brand of magic, which further influences their mindset. Until then, I've got to learn its fetishes and its triggers and hope to control it. Which is why I want to, no, I need to stay away from the two of you. The last thing I want is for you to see me as a…."

He broke off, seeing something dangerous flicker in Fleur's eyes.

"As a what, 'Arry?" She hissed. "Say it."

He shook his head.

"Non, you don't get a pass on this one, 'Arry," said Fleur. "Say it."

"A… monster."

"Right," said Fleur. "A monster. Like me."

"That isn't what I meant."

"Zat's exactly what you meant," she spat, angry. "You arrogant, branleur…" The temperature in the room suddenly spiked, and her eyes and hair began to glow bright silver. "What did you theenk? Zat you will be tempted by ze urges of your demon? Zat you will lose focus when with me? Lose control? Hurt somebody?"

She was literally shaking. "You'd rather be alone zan be someone like me," she said. "Zat's what you mean, right?"

Harry winced. He had all but forgotten that Fleur too, was someone with a wealth of experience when it came to having her own predatory instincts.

"You didn't think maybe I too knew a few theengs about denying the dark parts of my nature? Zat I could help you understand what it is like to engage your inner demon while not giving into it? Non, you decided zat it was such a shame to go through what you are, zat you would rather keep us at arm's length, zan let us see you like zat?"

Stab.

Twist.

She was right. It was just that simple. Fleur was right. He had been self-involved and arrogant. Again. He had told her — through actions and not words — just how despicable he found monsters. And actions spoke louder than words.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I made the wrong call."

"Casse-toi!"

Harry resisted. "I… I just thought that if I had stayed away…"

"Zen what?" demanded Fleur. "Zen we wouldn't have found out zat you aren't perfect? You stupid, arrogant, egotistical..."

She hit his chest and wrapped her hands around him so hard that he felt his ribs ache.

Harry hugged her back, and listened to her steady string of derogatory adjectives until she finished it.

"... salope!"

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "I love you too."


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